Billy Masters, 26 July 2010

Ciao, bambini. Billy’s off to Italy. I usually keep the details of my international travels quiet, but I’m on a mission. Picture it. Milan – 1995. A fetching lad, not yet at his sexual peak, was climbing the steps of the Duomo when he possibly pushed a pack of nuns who may have tumbled down a narrow, stone staircase. The mother superior, who bore an uncanny resemblance to Ernest Borgnine, muttered something in Latin that didn’t sound like a blessing. To break this curse, I plan to re-enact this journey without bothering anyone even remotely connected to the clergy – including any former altar boys seeking penance and/or pay-offs. I can’t say I’m particularly optimistic. A few months ago, I attempted this feat only to find that the roof was closed. It was a sign – figuratively, symbolically and literally. It may have been in Italian, but there was an actual sign! Oy…

When Broadway’s sexiest stud Nick Adams was cast as a Cagelle in the revival of La Cage aux Folles, I openly mused that it was a curious choice for an up-and-comer to take a role in the chorus – even a plum assignment like this. But that Nick is as cagey as he is cute. The buff boy’s turn in baubles, bangles and beads helped him land one of the leads in the upcoming Broadway production of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Nick will play “Adam/Felicia” – the role immortalized on screen by Guy Pearce. Most actors dream of being able to create a role on Broadway. And Nicky will get to do that…and more. The part, played in London by the impossibly gorgeous Oliver Thornton, not only showcases the actor’s feminine side, but also his physique in a series of risqué ensembles. The amount of flesh being exposed will likely warrant Nick to start an aggressive tanning regime. Oliver displayed the results in a pube-exposing photo which we’ll run on BillyMasters.com.

Over the years, Nick has been featured prominently at the annual Broadway Bares fundraiser for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. This event has spawned a UK AIDS benefit called West End Bares: Strip Britannia, which will take place at the Café de Paris in London’s West End on September 5^th. Like it's Yank predecessor, Jerry Mitchell is the executive producer. The director is my bon ami Darren Carnall, who is currently appearing in the West End production of Legally Blonde and certainly could give Nick a run for his money in the hotness department (Darren was a Cagelle in the UK production of La Cage). And he’s secured the hosting services of our very own John Barrowman (who also appeared in the UK production of La Cage). Barrowman states, “I’m thrilled to be hosting West End Bares. What a way to make a difference – being a little naughty on stage for a wonderful cause.”

Barrowman recently expressed some concern over his looks and how he is coping with aging. “I know I’m good-looking, but I’m not egotistical,” he says, without a sense of irony. “I have flaws – I have to dye my hair twice a month to get rid of all the grey. But I also have these eye-flaps and bags. And I have a problem ‘round my stomach. I have let myself go in the waist area. When I see myself naked, I know I’m heavy and out of shape.” I almost feel bad for him. Almost. How much will he show at West End Bares? And how much is too much?

Someone who’s been warned NOT to show all is Enrique Iglesias. The Latin crooner made a promise regarding the World Cup: “If Span wins, I’m going to get drunk and ski naked in Biscayne Bay.” Once Spain was victorious, Enrique said he would keep his word. That’s when the Miami-Dade cops stepped in, saying if he tries it, they’ll cuff him…which conjures up a tempting image of Enrique wet, naked, and in handcuffs.

One lucky fan has already seen Little Enrique. At a recent Las Vegas concert, Iglesias borrowed a fan’s camera. He first took a shot of the audience. Then he pulled open his pants, took a photo of his exposed crotchal area, and handed the camera back to the elated audience member. We’ll run the photo of Enrique taking a photo of himself.

The break-up of gay porn super couple Aden and Jordan Jaric has been quite a rollercoaster. The boys split up shortly after appearing at Jeffrey Sanker’s White Party in Palm Springs (a Sanker party can do that to even the most devoted couple). Over the past month, it sounded like the pair was trying to repair the relationship. However, things came to a boil when the duo was judging a drag competition in Portland, Oregon. Allegedly, Aden hit Jordan on the head with a heavy paperweight (note: I’ve worked in many gay bars and have yet to come across a paperweight). Jordan called the police. Aden said, “I’ll just tell them you hit me” and began to pound himself in the face. Needless to say, liquor was involved. Police didn’t believe Aden and he was taken into custody where he took a fetching mug shot which we'll run on our website, and was charged with assault and harassment. He was released the next day (btw, Jordan did not press charges). Aden has since stated that Jordan started the fight and that the pair had been...er, "close". "I guess that's what happens when you fuck me the night before and all the next day and then say to not say anything because his new man wouldn't be OK with it. He didn't want him to find out and took it out on me. I protected myself. Stop cheating. Didn't you learn that with me?" Jordan countered, saying, “Aden is delusional and I was going to keep this incident private because nothing good will come out of talking shit. Look inward. I truly hope Aden gets the help he needs and I'm leaving it at that.” Something tells me we haven't heard the last of this one.

Then there’s the ongoing saga of Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels. I won’t bore you with a recap of their break-up – you can find Melissa’s side easily, and Tammy’s got these long rambling haikus that fill us in on her perspective. The latest is that Melissa went to Boston for what she thought would be a visit with her 3-year-old twins. But the only person who showed up was a process server on Tammy’s behalf. Then Tammy went public with her finances saying that she wants a settlement that allows her to work or get job training, in addition to child support of $4,300/month. Melissa’s rep states that in addition to paying the household bills, Tammy is sent a check for $2,000/month. Are you kidding me? The fry girl at yonder McDonald’s makes more than that!

Sara Gilbert has developed, will executive produce, and anchor a talk show for CBS that will fill the slot soon to be vacated by As the World Turns. The untitled show takes a page from The View with a twist. The panelists are all mothers – Sharon Osbourne, Julie Chen, Holly Robinson Peete, Leah Remini and Marissa Jaret Winokur. Although the press release specifically mentions everyone else’s husband, for the lady-loving Gilbert (who is in a committed relationship) it simply says “lives in Los Angeles with her family”. Hmmm…..

By the way, since this item was initially written, the website of CBS News reported on the show and states: “Gilbert is a lesbian mom, raising two children with partner Allison Adler.”

Howard Bragman is a smart publicist with a long and illustrious resume. But once he started helping “celebs” deal with the media during the coming out process, he became the go-to person for gay luminaries. And for some of those people, coming out was a career move. So it makes perfect sense that he’s teamed up with A&E for a show called Coming Out which will follow people in various areas of public life during the coming out process.

If Coming Out hooked up with Medium, then we might get the following story. According to a recently unearthed interview, Christopher Reeve had an affair with gay porn actor Casey Donovan (real name Cal Culver). No, the interview wasn’t with Chris – it was with Casey. Which naturally means it’s open to speculation. After all, I could say I had a torrid affair with Zelda Rubinstein – who’s gonna prove me wrong? Casey/Cal gave this interview shortly before his death in 1987 and said things like, “Christopher was a great lover and I think I liberated him sexually.” And, “I didn’t think he was gay, but he seemed willing to try anything once.” Allegedly, more tidbits from this confession will be included in the book Hollywood Babylon Strikes Again.

Zsa Zsa Gabor recently had emergency hip replacement surgery. Reportedly, the 93-year-old beauty was watching Jeopardy in the bed of her Bel Air home. The phone rang. She reached for it. And before you can say “What is goulash, Alex”, she fell splat on the floor. She ended up breaking several bones and was rushed to the UCLA Medical Center. After a 3.5 hour surgery, she’s expected to make a full recovery.

Our Ask Billy question is from Chris in Tacoma: “I never paid attention to Bret Michaels before, but I keep seeing him on TV and he looks like he has a really hot body. Do you have any nudes of him?”

Where have you been, Chris? Bret was once involved with Pamela Anderson – so that means there’s video footage (and if there’s video footage, it’s on BillyMasters.com). Bret appears to have an impressive appendage – but these things always look bigger on the more diminutive dudes (he claims to be 5’9”, but I’ve stood next to him and he’s closer to 5’7”). As for his body, he’s always had a lean, well-defined build. These days – hospital stays notwithstanding – he looks like he’s put on more muscle. But, let me reiterate – the video footage is VERY hot indeed!

When we’re showing you every inch of Bret’s rock of love, it’s definitely time for me to end yet another column. Since I’m running late for my plane, let me just remind you to check out www.BillyMasters.com for the latest dish. And while you’re online, feel free to drop me a note. In fact, e-mail your deepest, darkest secrets to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before the Vatican takes a hit out on me! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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