50 Shades of Nudity Here

Many of my readers have been waiting with baited breath for 50 Shades of Grey. There’s quite a bit of hoo-ha about the lack of male nudity in the film adaptation of the bestseller. Sure, there could be some shots of Jamie Dornan walking around with his naughty bits jingling and jangling about (a la Michael Fassbender in Shame). But I must admit that nothing takes me out of the moment more than watching a filmed sex scene and catching a glimpse of the male lead’s flaccid penis. So what are the alternatives? I mean, there’s only so many movies that can star Chloë Sevigny! I suppose the producers could ask the actor to get aroused, but I believe that’s against SAG rules. And since sagging is against my rules, I say it’s better to see nothing. Unless, of course, you want to see Jamie Dornan’s flaccid penis, in which case you can see it on this very site.

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