How can I avoid Justin‘s beaver?  The first shocker is that Bieber actually has a penis.  Not only that, but it’s kinda substantial – I mean, I wouldn’t be bragging about it, but I also wouldn’t be ashamed of it.  Bieber’s somewhat-estranged dad posted this on Twitter: “@justinbieber what do you feed that thing.  #proud daddy ;-)”  If Justin’s actually looking for a proud daddy, I think Graham Norton is available.

Justin’s apparently not thrilled about his penis going public.  His legal team is trying to squelch the pics and has started sending out cease-and-desist letters.  This is exactly what you DON’T do if there is an alleged photo of you floating around.  I taught this lesson to a notable television host when his ponderous appendage went public (courtesy of moi).  If you ask for the photos to be taken down, you are admitting they are legit and just feeding the flame – as it were.  For the time being, I’ll continue to bring you every inch of Bieber on BillyMasters.com.