In the wake of Richard Simmons‘ recent hospital stay, a fabulous rumor has emerged- that he’s transitioning (presumably from male to female – but don’t quote me on that).  It bears mentioning that this rumor started in the National Enquirer, which had a cover story emblazoned with the words “Call me Fiona!”, and promising details of his “secret boob job & castration surgery”.   How could you see that on a checkout stand and not buy it?  Well, I will save you the trouble (and the $4.99) – it’s all lies.  According to Simmons’ publicist, there is not one iota of truth to the story.  And why would a publicist lie?  Richard explains the hospital stay as follows: “I was dehydrated and needed some fluids.”  I bet he did!  Lies or not, I will forever refer to him as Fiona.