You know where a cock ring probably comes in handy?  On ABC‘s Bachelor in Paradise.  Oh, I’m sure men have lost dozens of them on the sands of whatever syphilitic shores that show films on.  Last week, it looked like we wouldn’t be getting BiP this season due to a situation between two contestants.  Remember Corrine?  The girl from Nick‘s season of The Bachelor?  The one who had a nanny and said her “vagine is platinum”?  And remember DeMario?  The guy from the current season of The Bachelorette?  The one who was looking for love and yet had a girlfriend back home?  They were both cast on Paradise.  Beyond that, it’s a case of he said, she said – and the “she” isn’t Corrine.  It’s a female producer who shut everything down after witnessing questionable activity between the two.  So why didn’t Corrine complain?  Allegedly she was so drunk, she cannot remember what she may or may not have done, and if it was done with or without her consent.  Which begs the question – if a tree falls in your vagina and you’re so trashed you don’t notice it, has anything actually happened?  Other than some badly laced splinters.

Corrine lawyered up with Marty Singer, known for handling John Travolta‘s peccadilloes.  She wanted to see the tapes so she could find out what actually happened.  DeMario also wanted to see the tapes.  After the show conducted an internal investigation, production resumed without Corrine and DeMario.  Thus far, no charges have been filed.  And it gets better – and not in that Dan Savage way with his hot husband.  While Corrine and DeMario have not said much publicly, Corrine’s boyfriend has.  Yes, Corrine has a boyfriend!  According to him, Corrine promised that she would not have sex with anyone on Paradise – so being unconscious is a really good excuse.  He also states that her allegedly engaging in oral sex in the pool doesn’t count.  Which begs yet another question – was she receiving or performing the oral sex?  I don’t necessarily see performing oral sex as a passive activity.  Now, receiving it – well, she could very well have been unconscious!  Now I want to see the tapes, too!