For the first time in eons, I wasn’t at the Emmy Awards.  In fact, I wasn’t in the country.  But through the miracle of modern technology, I didn’t miss a beat – even in a minor Eastern European city.  Even there, people knew who RuPaul was and enjoyed her turn as “Emmy”.  I surely wasn’t the only one who thought Jane Fonda‘s homage to I Dream of Jeannie was inspired, and cringed a bit when Cicely Tyson wandered out to the wrong side of the stage (alas, it only got worse).  Personally, I think she was disoriented by the sight of Anika Noni Rose‘s breasts.  Girl, put those things away – this ain’t the Golden Globes!

But the highlight for me was watching the fabulous Jackie “Mamacita” Hoffman lose to Laura Dern.  Most also-rans put on their game face.  Not Hoffman, who clearly mouthed “Damn it!”  The subsequent Tweets were a little bit of heaven.  “Laura Dern had famous parents.  Forgive me for being from real people,” said Hoffman.  In case people took Jackie seriously, her next Tweets should have put the matter to rest.  “I hear that Laura Dern runs a child porn ring.”  And “I hear Laura Dern looted art from Nazi victims.”

Some fans wrote in asking what the blue ribbons meant.  They are in support of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and protecting people’s constitutional rights.  Others wondered if Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello have broken up since she walked the red carpet with a much younger man.  People, get your minds out of the gutter.  That was her son, Manolo – yes, named after the shoe!  Sofia ALWAYS brings a large contingency with her to award shows, and since Joe wasn’t around, Manolo walked his mom down the carpet – as he has many times in the past.  If you want to see a bit more of the 26-year-old Latino, check out BillyMasters.com.