A case with far less merit is the one against Dustin Lance Black for shoplifting.  My God – he wasn’t content being Roman Polanski, he now has to become Bess Myerson!  Allegedly, DLB was shopping at Woolworths in Australia – let that little tidbit sink in.  A gay man.  An Oscar winner.  Shopping in a Woolworths.  Now THAT’S a crime!  While he was browsing, he was being shadowed by store security.  “OMG!  Was just stopped and accused of shoplifting @woolworths in the Gold Coast!  Then out of countless folks with bags a search was demanded of mine.  Thanks for the warm welcome to #AUSTRALIA @woolworths!  Respect customers’ privacy much?  Shame.” 

We have time for a teensy weensy Ask Billy question.  Justin in Chicago said, “Is it true that Tom Daley had a dick slip while diving?  Tell me more – and show me the dick.”

Well, it wouldn’t be the first time his dick (or ass) featured prominently on BillyMasters.com.  But it is true.  The incident in question happened at the Commonwealth Games in Australia (site of that infamous Woolworths).  When Tom hit the water after his dive, his penis slipped out of its pouch.  And, yes, of course, we’ll post it on our website.