Royal Rumblings

Things are really ramping up for the royal wedding. The big news last week was that while William will be Harry’s best man, Kate will not be the maid (or, I suppose, matron) of honor. A royal snub? Hardly. Apparently it is considered unseemly for a future queen to be an attendant to anyone – even on their wedding day! It’s also been whispered that Meghan doesn’t want anyone to upstage her – like Pippa did at Kate’s wedding! So, who will attend to Meghan? Nobody, that’s who. The official word is that she has too many friends to choose from, but our sources inside the palace tell us that Meghan actually wants her friends to have a good time and not have to work and fuss with her dress. Have no fear – she won’t be all by her lonesome. The bridal party will have all those little kids as attendants and pages, including Will’s children, George and Charlotte.

The big scuttlebutt in London has to do with another royal couple – Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson. Even though they divorced in 1996, Andy and Fergie get along better than ever and continue to live together. However, it’s not like they’re sharing a one-room flat – since their divorce, they’ve been cohabitating in a 12-bedroom estate! But the birth of Prince Louis has apparently had a domino effect on the royal family. The law states that the sovereign must approve the marriage of the first six people in line for the throne – so it’s the heir, the spare, and four others in case of something like bubonic plague. Up until Louis’ birth, the line of succession was Charles, William, George, Charlotte, Harry, and Andrew. Now with Louis ensconced between Charlotte and Harry, Andrew is number seven and technically doesn’t require mummy’s approval to wed. Royal watchers speculate that Andrew and Sarah would like to re-marry, but the Queen would likely not allow it; one does not quickly forget the toe-sucking incident. Still, I find it unlikely that he’d go against his mum’s wishes – he ain’t no Princess Margaret! Plus, that old woman can’t live forever. Here’s the catch – if he waits till Lizzie dies, Charles becomes king, Andy moves back into sixth position, and the whole problem starts all over again – until Harry and Meghan have a kid.

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