Foxx is ENORMOUS

That leads perfectly into our next story.  A woman claims that after she refused to perform oral sex on him, Jamie Foxx slapped her in the face with his penis.  So, clearly she was in the general penis vicinity.  At the very least, she was penis adjacent!  The incident allegedly happened in 2002 at a party in Las Vegas, and therein lies the problem.  The woman never filed a police report.  In fact, she never even talked about it until now.  She claims to have been inspired by the #MeToo movement.  You know who’s not saying “me too”?  Jamie Foxx.  His lawyer says, “Jamie emphatically denies that this incident ever occurred, and he will be filing a report with the Las Vegas Police Department against the woman for filing a false police report against him.”  The Nevada police say they will not be investigating the case since the three-year statute of limitations has passed.  What I got out of that is there’s a three-year statute of limitations on penis slapping – information I’ll file away for future reference.  I don’t know if there’s a statute against showing you Jamie Foxx’s penis, which is big enough to slap the bejesus out of you.  Oh, yeah, Katie Holmes jumped out of the frying pan and onto a pogo stick, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

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