Fayewatch 2019

Since our last column was written on New Year’s Eve, I wasn’t able to tell you about Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen on CNN.  Not only was Andy almost arrested, but he almost took down the entire network with him in what I am calling Umbrella-Gate.  The Times Square Alliance banned umbrellas from the area because…well, because the world is insane.  I’m not saying that you couldn’t do some damage with an umbrella, but I’m against banning anything that Mary Poppins uses to fly.  However, since it was pouring rain in New York, Andy began the telecast with a see-through plastic dome umbrella on the telecast – kinda like the ones your mom used to get for free with the purchase of L’eggs.  After 90 minutes of bickering back and forth and Andy welcoming being arrested, the Alliance said if Cohen didn’t close the umbrella, CNN would be banned from future New Year’s Eve telecasts.  Times have certainly changed – it took a photo with a Halloween mask for Kathy Griffin to get banned!

The duo welcomed an in-person special guest – Faye Dunaway.  So, welcome to our first Fayewatch of 2019.  Faye’s presence warranted the return of Cohen’s umbrella.  “I have to give you an umbrella because you look too clean and crisp,” Andy gushed.  When asked if it was her first visit to Times Square for New Year’s Eve, Faye cackled, “Oh, yes, absolutely.  It may be my last.  No, it’s nice to be here.  We’re in New York, for God’s sake!”  This “interview”, such as it was, had a several great moments.  First, Anderson said one of his favorite movies was one Faye did with Robert Redford.  “I’m blanking on the name,” said the newsman.  Cut to Faye, who looked like a Dunaway in the headlights – “Now you’re making me blank on it.”  Talk about a gaggle of senior moments!  They continued talking about a movie neither of them could name.  Meanwhile, I’m screaming at my TV, Three Days of the Condor!  Anderson finally remembered it, and Faye smiled through those store-bought teeth and repeated the name.  Priceless.  Then Anderson mentioned that The Academy hadn’t yet settled on a host for the Oscars.  “What about you?” said Cooper.  Faye had a look on her face that basically said, “Look, I can’t remember the names of movies I’ve BEEN in.  And, may I remind you of the last time I was on the Oscars?  La La Land!”

Faye’s main purpose for stopped by was to let the international viewing audience know that she would be back on Broadway playing Katharine Hepburn in Tea at Five by my dear friend Matthew Lombardo (and kudos to Faye for mentioning his name on CNN – writers usually get overlooked).  At this point, Cohen really stepped in it when he said, “You beat Katharine Hepburn for an Academy Award, if I remember.”  Faye peered at him and said, “How did you know that?”  How indeed.  Dunaway got her first nomination for Bonnie and Clyde and lost to Hepburn.  When she won her Oscar for Network, Hepburn wasn’t nominated.  So, Andy, I’m calling this one our first ever Faye-Pas.  To her credit, Faye didn’t accept the compliment.  She simply said, “I didn’t, unfortunately.”

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