Oscars Recap

“I’m not crying because I’m on my period or anything. 
I can’t believe a film about menstruation won an Oscar!”
Rayka Zehtabchi during the acceptance speech for
Best Documentary Short Subject for Period. End Of Sentence..

Another Oscars go down in history as…well, the word that springs to mind is “uneventful”.  You know you’re in trouble when it took a quip about the female menstrual cycle to grab the attention of this very sexually active gay man.  Speaking of being grabbed, I couldn’t help but notice that none of the four winners for Bohemian Rhapsody thanked the person responsible for those wins.  So I’ll say it – thank you, Bryan Singer.

An Oscar highlight was the performance by Queen.  And even I learned something.  Did you know that Adam Lambert was in Bohemian Rhapsody?  He’s the guy who hooked up with Freddie Mercury in the truck stop restroom.  Since he’s now lead singer of the band, it’s like he had sex with himself – probably not the first time.

It seems each year notable people are inevitably omitted from the In Memoriam segment, and this year was no different.  Egregiously absent was Carol Channing, who was also an Oscar nominee!  And, where was Kaye Ballard?  Oh, the humanity!  I can understand skipping Sondra Locke – they probably wanna stay on Clint’s good side!

Let me give some advice to all singers out there.  When the note is flat, you know what doesn’t help cover it up?  Holding it longer and screaming.  And, for heaven’s sake, learn the lyrics.  It’s pretty obvious who is hugging the TelePrompTer for words and who is actually connecting with the song and the audience.

In the month leading up to the Oscars, there was lots of talk about how the Academy could trim the festivities.  One of the most controversial considerations was to give out certain awards during commercials.  Another plan was to ditch performances of most nominated songs and allow only two – Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper warbling “Shallow” (from A Star Is Born) and Kendrick Lamar singing “All the Stars” (from Black Panther).  Now, I think I’ve made it clear I am not a Lady Gaga devotee.  Not that I have anything against her, I simply don’t get all the hoopla.  However, even I must give credit where credit is due.  Gaga insisted that if ALL nominated songs were not included, she would not perform.  So, we can thank Gaga for Bette Midler’s performance of “The Place Where Lost Things Go” (which happened because Emily Blunt was skittish about performing live).

I know what you’re thinking – why wasn’t “All the Stars” performed during the Oscar telecast?  We’re told that decision came from Kendrick Lamar, himself.  Apparently, he was touring for the past month and didn’t feel he could get an Oscar-worthy performance together.  So, he simply took a pass.

Timing was not on Gaga’s side with her engagement to fiancé Christian Carino imploding days before the Academy Awards.  However, they seem to still be on speaking terms.  When they ran into each other at CAA’s pre-Oscars soirée, they said a quick hello.  FYI, her Oscar date was longtime manager, Bobby Campbell.

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