Category Archives: Breaking

Jake & Sedale’s Bangs

Our Ask Billy question comes from Wade in Fort Lauderdale: “When is this new movie with Jake Gyllenhaal coming out?  I keep seeing previews for it and Jake’s naked.  But I don’t see it playing anywhere.”

It’s already out – on Netflix.  Since the film is about the art world, one review was titled, “Jake Gyllenhaal’s Naked Body is the Greatest Work of Art in Velvet Buzzsaw”.  And I concur – except for Jake’s unfortunate bangs.  Yes, there is a good amount of nudity.  Although he isn’t actually full frontal, he is certainly full backal.  And he’s in good company.  One of his love interests is played by retired basketball player Sedale Threatt Jr.  Yes, he’s a he – and a mighty hot he who gives at least a hint of everything…as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

colorbar1

When Pecker has a peck of prick pics to publish in public, it’s time to end yet another column.  Well, it’s finally here.  50.  And as I celebrate being half a century old, I am reminded of something my pal Belinda Carlisle said when she turned 50.  She talked about wanting to retire from The Go-Go’s.  “I know I don’t want to be doing it when I’m in my mid-fifties.  I’d like to end it on a high note, with a little dignity.”  So who knows how much longer I’ll be writing – although I hasten to add that Babe performed with The Go-Go’s this past summer on the eve of her 60th birthday.  So, perhaps I ain’t going anywhere.  But, for the time being, you can grab some sizzling hot dish on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t look its age.  If you have a question, send an e-mail to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I eat my weight in Churro Donuts!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Model vs. Footballer

Someone who may or may not be gay is a member of the Oakland Raiders.  For those of you who don’t know, the Oakland Raiders are a football team; and football is that game they play in between all those spiffy Super Bowl commercials.  A “model”, Malik Joseph, posted a text message thread in which he tells P.J. Hall that before they had sex, he should have told him that he had a girlfriend!  However, Hall’s reps say that Malik threatened to claim they had a sexual relationship in order to extort the football player.  So we have a he said/he said situation on our hands.  Interestingly enough, while Hall’s people say Malik’s accusations are “defamatory and slanderous” and that he has a history of such behavior, they don’t seem to be taking any legal action.  Hmm.

Kyle XY Was Pressured

Matt Dallas claims he too was threatened – or, at the very least, pressured.  He posted a video Q&A with hubby, Blue Hamilton.  The Kyle XY star was asked if he was ever advised to keep his sexuality a secret.  “I was told to stay in the closet, not talk about my sexuality, to be on every red carpet with a girl on my arm because you could not be successful if you were openly gay in the entertainment industry, at least in front of the camera… Because of the advice that was given to me to stay in the closet, I became very disconnected from who I was, and there’s a lot of residual stuff that to this day that I still deal with where I find myself sometimes being, ‘oh, I sound too gay’, or ‘I’m acting too gay’ because it was so drilled into my brain.”

Pecker & Penis Pics

With all the talk last week about David Pecker running photos of Jeff Bezos’ penis, few have mentioned the connection with Ronan Farrow.  To recap, the Amazon founder claims that AMI, the parent company of The National Enquirer (published by Pecker), were trying to get him to refute his assertions that their exposé of his romantic affair was politically motivated.  He says that’s why Pecker threatened to publicly publish pics of Bezos’ pubics.  Allegedly, Trump has Pecker in his pocket and has been using AMI to take down Bezos and his publication, The Washington Post.  Did you follow that?

Into this mess walks our very own Ronan Satchel Farrow Sinatra Allen O’Sullivan.  He Tweeted that The National Enquirer made a similar threat against him.  “I and at least one other prominent journalist involved in breaking stories about the National Enquirer’s arrangement with Trump fielded similar ‘stop digging or we’ll ruin you’ blackmail efforts from AMI.  (I did not engage as I don’t cut deals with subjects of ongoing reporting.)”  So, the question remains – does The Enquirer have pics of Ronan’s rod?

And Then There Was One

I don’t regularly watch Flipping Out.  In fact, I try to avoid it.  So, I didn’t realize Jeff and Gage were not married – but who cares?  If straights can have kids out of wedlock and be sued by their surrogates, why not gays?  I found out the couple wasn’t married because Jeff announced that Gage had moved out last week.  He says that for most of the past year, Gage had been in a separate bedroom and the two have primarily been friends with benefits – the benefit, if you ask me, is that you get your own room!  I don’t have a dog in this fight (no offense), but I’d like to make one general observation: one doesn’t marry a Gage.  One has meaningless sex with a Gage.  Hot, meaningless, nasty sex.  I once slept with someone named Brick.  I can’t swear that was his real name – I never checked his papers.  The Gages and Bricks of the world are the guys you fool around with in the bathroom while your boyfriend is waiting at the table in the restaurant.  You want a drama-free life?  Marry someone with a name out of the Bible.  Except Lazarus – every time you think you’re done, he’ll spring back to life and you’ll never get any sleep.

Smollett’s Attack

The big gay story last week was the attack on Empire star Jussie Smollett.  I was kinda shocked at the reaction.  First, some of my dearest childhood friends questioned if the attack really took place, or if Jussie was simply looking for publicity.  “Something doesn’t ring true,” one said on Facebook.  Yeah, because if I were looking for publicity, I’d tie a noose around my neck and douse myself in bleach!  Then someone pointed out to me the social media posts by organizations that used this attack as an opportunity to promote themselves.  Shameful.

As of the writing of this column, here’s what we know.  On the evening of Monday, January 28th, Jussie had flown from New York to Chicago – where Empire shoots and where Smollett has an apartment.  Around 2AM, he was hungry and went to a 24-hour Subway (and, if I might inject a bit of levity into this difficult story, let me note that nothing good happens at a Subway at 2AM).  When he left the Subway (presumably with his sub), two white men wearing ski masks approached him and yelled out, “Aren’t you that faggot Empire nigger?”  They then attacked Jussie, put a rope around his neck, and poured bleach on him, saying “This is MAGA country” as they ran away.  After reporting the crime to the police, Jussie got himself to Northwestern Memorial Hospital where he was treated for a fractured rib.  A couple of days later, Chicago Police released a photo of “persons of interest” that shows two men on a neighboring street around the time of the attack.

I will admit, all of this raises several questions – who is walking around Chicago at 2AM with a noose and bleach?  There is speculation that Smollett was targeted, as he had earlier received a letter which was sent to the Empire set and threatened, “You will die black fag,” with a return address that simply said “MAGA”.  Also, a woman who lives in Smollett’s building says that when she took her dog out to pee at 12:30AM, she saw a suspicious man lingering.  On the flip side, Smollett says that at the time of the attack, he was talking to his manager on his cell phone.  So, the police asked to examine the phone – Jussie declined.  Police say he was not obligated to share the handset or phone records.  And, frankly, as a gay man, I don’t think I’d want the fuzz looking into the bowels of my mobile, either.

BTW, Smollett had a concert scheduled for February 2nd at the legendary Troubadour in West Hollywood.  Despite some concerns, the concert took place, although the scheduled meet-and-greet was cancelled.  “I’m not fully healed yet, but I’m going to and I’m going to stand strong with you all,” Jussie told the capacity crowd.  “I had to be here tonight.  I couldn’t let those motherfuckers win!  So I will also stand for love, I will never stand for anything other than that.  Regardless of what anyone else says, I will only stand for love and I hope you will all stand with me.”

colorbar1

One of the people speaking out on Smollett’s behalf has been Empire creator Lee Daniels.  “It’s taken me a minute to come to social media about this because, Jussie, you are my son.  You didn’t deserve nor anybody deserves to have a noose put around your neck, to have bleach thrown on you, to be called ‘die faggot nigga’ or whatever they said to you. You are better than that. We are better than that. America is better than that. It starts at home. It starts at home, yo. We have to love each other regardless of what sexual orientation we are because it shows we are united on a united front and no racist f— can come in and do the things that they did to you. Hold your head up, Jussie. I’m with you. I’ll be there in a minute. It’s just another fucking day in America.”

Frankie’s Throuple

If there’s one thing that works out less often than being a virgin, it’s being in a throuple.  And I’m not talking about casual encounters, in which case I say the more, the merrier.  But if you think being in a relationship with one person is hard, try two.  Frankie Grande tried his share of combinations before going public around Halloween as being the proverbial third wheel to a very hot couple.  Apparently it wasn’t all smooth sailing.  “You have double the highs, double the excitement, but also double the lows, double the drama.”  Those heady days have passed.  “I am single.  I’ve been single for about a month now.”  Probably spending most of his time in a sitz bath!

Super Bowl Stories

“At least we got a brief opportunity to look at Levine’s 2 percent body fat.”  
– 
Esquire Magazine on Adam Levine’s halftime performance during the Super Bowl.

Since this column is being filed on Super Bowl Sunday, one would think this proud Bostonian living in LA would be watching.  And I am – but primarily to see the cheerleaders.  Although I have a personal connection with someone cheering for the Pats, it’s the Los Angeles Rams that are making history.  This will be the first Super Bowl to feature male cheerleaders!  Last year, Quinton Peron and Napoleon Jinnies auditioned or tried out or whatever one does to become a cheerleader.  They not only joined the LA Rams squad, they’re at the Super Bowl.  Congrats.

Rent Live or Das Boot

The much ballyhooed Rent: Live was a bit less live than planned.  Towards the end of Saturday’s dress rehearsal, Brennin Hunt broke his foot, thus thwarting most of the live telecast.  That’s why dress rehearsals are recorded – just in case.  So, the FOX telecast featured the cast saying, “We have rallied together to rework the final act so that all of us – including Brennin and the original Broadway cast of Rent – can perform it for you…live.”  Ultimately, only the final 15 minutes of the telecast was live – although the show was performed live for the in-studio audience – with Brennin in a wheelchair (we’ll share some footage on BillyMasters.com).  As to the original cast, they came out and sang the reprise of “Seasons of Love” – which, to be charitable, was more than enough.

Ultimately, the major star was the show itself; and the production.  Set on a sprawling soundstage, the camera work integrated the live audience seamlessly.  And there were little touches I appreciated – including a laugh at the expense of Mark’s original sweater.  While the cast was uniformly adequate for a TV adaptation miked within an inch of its life, I’ll focus on the positives and send kudos out to two people.  First, the fabulous Valentina as Angel.  The role was performed spectacularly, even if the singing was undeniably weak.  The all-around MVP (including vocals) was Brandon Victor Dixon as Tom Collins.  All in all, I expected nothing less – or, for that matter, more.

Jackson Doc at Sundance

There’s been lots of buzz about Michael Jackson.  First was news of Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough, a stage musical based on his life which will debut at the Nederlander Theatre in Chicago on October 29th.  Then there’s the new documentary which premiered at Sundance.  Leaving Neverland clocks in at four hours and shines a light on the accusations of Jackson sexually abusing young boys.  There are two main subjects.  James Safechuck says that Jackson often gave him jewelry in return for “engaging in sexual acts” – one of which was a wedding ring he was given during a “mock wedding”!  Choreographer Wade Robson says that Jackson once told him, “You and I were brought together by God” – and then tried to anally penetrate him when he was 14!  Striking back, the Jackson camp points out that both Robson and Safechuck previously testified that Michael never did anything inappropriate.  Since then, both filed unsuccessful lawsuits against the estate.  Oh, did I mention that Jackson allegedly called semen “duck butter”?  Based on that alone, I’m calling this a “must see”.  Thank God HBO will air it later this year.

Old Queen Drama

It was both a good and bad week for Queen – the band.  The film Bohemian Rhapsody garnered five Oscar nominations.  But once again, issues surfaced regarding Bryan Singer – who ultimately directed about 99.9 percent of the flick.  The renewed interest was courtesy of a lengthy piece in The Atlantic which, according to Singer, “rehashed claims from bogus lawsuits filed by a disreputable cast of individuals willing to lie for money or attention.  And it is no surprise that, with Bohemian Rhapsody being an award-winning hit, this homophobic smear piece has been conveniently timed to take advantage of its success.”  Singer’s lawyer says that the auteur “categorically denies ever having sex with, or a preference for, underage men.”  What I found amusing is that the article in question was commissioned by Esquire…but they refused to run it after it had been fact-checked!

I always believe people are innocent until proven guilty – unless I don’t like them, in which case facts are completely irrelevant.  Apparently, facts aren’t important to lots of people out there.  Someone posted on Brian May’s Instagram account that he should unfollow Singer.  May responded, “You need to look after your own business and stop telling me what to do.  And you need to learn to respect the fact that a man or woman is innocent until proven guilty.”  Users on social media came down on the Queen guitarist for defending an alleged sexual predator.   This led May to issue an apology.  He said, in part, “I am mortified to discover the effect my words produced.  I had no idea that saying someone was innocent until proven guilty could be interpreted as ‘defending’ Bryan Singer.  I had absolutely no intention of doing that.  I guess I must be naïve, because also it has never occurred to me that ‘following’ a person on Instagram could be interpreted as approving of that person.  The only reason I followed Bryan Singer was that we were working with him on a project.  That situation came to an end when Mr. Singer was removed during the shooting of the film, but I suppose unfollowing him never occurred to me as a necessity.  Now, because of this misunderstanding, I have unfollowed.”

Celebrity Big Brother

I am not a devotee of Big Brother but, I must confess, I got hooked when my pals Marissa Jaret Winokur and Ross Mathews competed on Celebrity Big Brother last year.  When I saw this year’s crop of “celebrities”, I knew I’d tune in.  After week one, here are my thoughts.  First, in what other group would Ryan Lochte be considered “the brains”?  I was perplexed when he kept talking about wanting to evict Diana.  Who the hell is Diana?  Turns out, he meant Dina – as in Lohan!  Then Ryan formed a ride-or-die alliance with our own Jonathan Bennett – who ultimately took the fall for Lochte’s bad decisions.  But here’s the most important thing I learned – who knew Bennett has a severe issue with flatulence?  That’s the real value of these shows.  Sitting at home, you think you’d want to be Bennett’s boyfriend.  But I bet after one night of him farting away in bed, you’d be done!  The nightly After Dark edition of the show frequently finds the celebs playing endless hours of poker.  When Ryan described Jonathan’s hand as a “possible straight”, Bennett quipped, “Not since college”.  Bada-bing!

Brant Buffs Up

For our quickie Ask Billy question, Howie in Tulsa says, “You mentioned watching a Brant Daugherty film.  Did you see how buffed he’s gotten?  WOW – there must be some nudes out there.”

I did some snooping and snagged some snaps of a buffed Brant.  His new and improved physique coincided with his casting in Fifty Shades Freed (not that they showed much).  While he’s deflated somewhat since the 2016 filming, we can show you the results on BillyMasters.com.

RIP Carol Channing

It’s impossible for this column to not acknowledge the passing of Carol Channing.  I came into her orbit many times over the years.  Most recently, I interviewed her prior to an appearance she did with Tommy Tune at Town Hall in Provincetown in 2014.  On Facebook, I wrote about that evening and posted a photo of Carol, Marilyn Maye and myself – because it’s rare when I’m the youngest person in a photo!  For you, I have a different anecdote.  In 1999, I was backstage at the re-opening of the El Portal Theatre in North Hollywood.  Carol was 78 at the time and hadn’t been well.  She shuffled over to a chair in the wings all hunched over and waited for her cue.  After a while, she was helped into position, all the while holding onto the curtain.  She was introduced, more or less thrust into the spotlight, and suddenly she was perfectly erect – a word I try to work into every column.  She sang, danced, and appeared full of life.  When she was out of that spotlight and back in the wings, she immediately hunched over and was back to shuffling.  That’s when I realized that Channing was one of those people who lived to entertain, and lived for the stage.  She never gave less than everything she had – and then some.  Rest in peace, Carol.

Griffin vs. Cheadle

Here’s something nobody saw coming – a Kathy Griffin/Don Cheadle feud.  It started when Don posted a pic of a Sleeping Giant cap (self-described as a “campaign to make bigotry and sexism less profitable”).  Griffin Tweeted the following: “Oh GREAT Don.  I will never forgive you for your nasty tweet the day my smear campaign started.  You know it was a f-king smear campaign and you have never taken a moment to apologize.  Some liberal you are.  Yes, my memory is long my ex friend.  Shame on you.  I kept a list.  Fear me.”  Cheadle replied, “Huh?”.  Kathy said for him to check his Twitter feed from May 30-31, 2017.  I started scrolling back but gave up after 15 minutes – Don is pretty prolific on Twitter, and I have carpal tunnel.  But I did see he Tweeted back to Kathy with a six-point response, the big take-away being in point number one.  “we had one conversation on a flight about our mutual disgust for individual 1.  I don’t ‘friend’ that quickly so we can’t really be ‘exes’.”  Kathy then confirmed that fact in a Tweet to a fan.  “We had a good conversation one time.  I guess he was just full of s—.”  But fret not – the next day, the two made up…via Twitter, of course.

Chris Hansen Caught

They say bad things come in threes – unless you’re referring to the triplets from Bratislava I vacationed with in Fort Lauderdale last week.  We have a trio of bad stories about Chris Hansen, the former NBC anchor best known for hosting To Catch a Predator.  First we heard he’s being evicted from his New York City apartment where he hasn’t paid rent since August (his rent is $3,600/month, quite reasonable by NYC standards).  Then we found out he’s been charged with “issuing bad checks” – which might explain why he hasn’t paid rent.  Turns out, the problem goes back to 2015 when Hansen was trying to relaunch To Catch a Predator via Kickstarter with a campaign target of $75K – or, what he calls roughly two years of rent!  Contributors were promised various perks, including some custom-made shirts, mugs, etc.  The guy he hired to make the tchotchkes was paid with a bad check…to the tune of $13K!  But, here’s the kicker (so to speak) – the fundraising brought in $89K, which means Hansen got to keep the money.  What did contributors receive?  The phrase that comes to mind is, “I Contributed to Chris Hansen’s Kickstarter Campaign and I Didn’t Even Get a T-Shirt!”

The latest twist is that Hansen’s wife Mary Joan filed for divorce after 30 years of marriage.  I’m shocked she hung in there this long.  I thought she’d have left Chris back in 2011 when the National Enquirer got a video showing him in a hotel with a reporter 20 years his junior.  Back then, the only one who dumped him was NBC – where he’d been for 20 years.  He probably convinced his wife he only stopped by for some lemonade.

Will Lucas Name Names

Last week, gay porn impresario Michael Lucas made some news.  First it was announced that he will retire from “performing” in 2020.  “Porn stars come and go, but the best ones stay in our memories and on our hard drives for a long time until they fade away,” said his publicist, Len Evans.  But it was the next statement which raised more than a few eyebrows.  “Michael is also in search of a co-author to publish a juicy autobiography that will include a steamy chapter about a few top Hollywood celebs who paid him to have sex with them when he was an escort in the late ‘90s.”  Let’s gloss over the difference between a co-author and a publisher – naming names got my attention.  That is, until Lucas retracted the story and fired Evans.

To fill in the blanks (something Lucas is known for), Michael Tweeted the following: “The story that ran today and attributed to me by former publicist is absolutely false.  I spent 45 minutes on the phone explaining why I would never do that and they still felt the need to give it to you.  Needless to say I am perplexed by their motivation and they were fired immediately.  I am considering legal action against them.  What is true is that I’m planning to retire in 2020.  What is absolutely false is that I would ever write or consider writing a ‘tell all’ book and naming names of my clients.  I consider that relationship sacred and I would never violate their confidence or my integrity.  Period.  I have nothing but the greatest respect and gratitude for the people who trusted me with their intimate secrets and I will take those secrets to the grave.”

Brochtrup Back to Blue

I am thrilled by news of the return of NYPD Blue – especially since the new show will include PPA John Irvin, once again played by my dear friend, Bill Brochtrup.  When he made the announcement on Facebook, I said that the time had certainly come for him to bare his bottom.  I mean, if it was good enough for Dennis Franz and John Wesley Shipp, why not?  Brochtrup said, “Yeah, keep that rumor alive.”  Darling, that’s what I do.

Criss is Filipino

Days before the GlobesDarren Criss talked about how he will no longer play gay roles.  “I want to make sure I won’t be another straight boy taking a gay man’s role,” says the 31-year-old.  However, fellow Golden Globe winner Ben Whishaw said, “I think there needs to be greater equality.  I would like to see more gay actors playing straight roles.”  So, riddle me this – if gay actors are playing the gay roles AND the straight roles, what on Earth will Darren Criss do for a living?  On second thought, don’t answer that.

Am I the only one who didn’t know Darren is Filipino?  He proclaimed himself the first Filipino-American to win a Golden Globe.  Is that true?  Has someone done genetic testing on all previous winners?  Are the Golden Globes in bed with Ancestry.com?  Perhaps, like gays, Criss is the first OPENLY Filipino-American to win a Golden Globe.  Turns out Andrew Cunanan was Filipino-American, so maybe it’s a win/win.  But I’ll have to run this by Whishaw.

Chalamet’s Harness

I’m going into this year’s awards season somewhat perplexed.  Not to say I didn’t enjoy the Golden Globes – but not to say I did.  Let’s start by talking about Timothée Chalamet.  Question – should we credit Adam Rippon with making harnesses acceptable awards show attire?  ‘Cause he is the first person I recall wearing a harness.  And, perhaps, the last.  Chalamet insists he was not wearing a harness.  “I thought it was a bib,” the actor told Ellen.  Which begs the question, a bib?  Really, Timmy?  And not just any bib, but a sequined bib.  And that’s where I’m confused – I thought perhaps he was paying homage to The Sound of Music by wearing lederhosen!

Madonna at Stonewall

Madonna made a surprise appearance at NYC’s Stonewall Inn on New Year’s Eve.  Perhaps it wasn’t a complete surprise – the day before, the Inn posted on Instagram, “We are insanely proud to announce Madonna is a Stonewall Ambassador supporting Stonewall Day + the 50th anniversary of Stonewall!”  On the night, Madonna resembled the fun, kicky Material Girl we all grew up loving.  She had a crazy bow in her hair and lots of clunky, dangling jewelry.  She donned glasses to read her lengthy remarks about how the Stonewall Inn is the birthplace of Pride.  And then she sang an acoustic version of “Like a Prayer” with her son David playing guitar, which almost made you long for the days Madonna showed off her guitar skills.  You can see the video on BillyMasters.com.

Fayewatch 2019

Since our last column was written on New Year’s Eve, I wasn’t able to tell you about Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen on CNN.  Not only was Andy almost arrested, but he almost took down the entire network with him in what I am calling Umbrella-Gate.  The Times Square Alliance banned umbrellas from the area because…well, because the world is insane.  I’m not saying that you couldn’t do some damage with an umbrella, but I’m against banning anything that Mary Poppins uses to fly.  However, since it was pouring rain in New York, Andy began the telecast with a see-through plastic dome umbrella on the telecast – kinda like the ones your mom used to get for free with the purchase of L’eggs.  After 90 minutes of bickering back and forth and Andy welcoming being arrested, the Alliance said if Cohen didn’t close the umbrella, CNN would be banned from future New Year’s Eve telecasts.  Times have certainly changed – it took a photo with a Halloween mask for Kathy Griffin to get banned!

The duo welcomed an in-person special guest – Faye Dunaway.  So, welcome to our first Fayewatch of 2019.  Faye’s presence warranted the return of Cohen’s umbrella.  “I have to give you an umbrella because you look too clean and crisp,” Andy gushed.  When asked if it was her first visit to Times Square for New Year’s Eve, Faye cackled, “Oh, yes, absolutely.  It may be my last.  No, it’s nice to be here.  We’re in New York, for God’s sake!”  This “interview”, such as it was, had a several great moments.  First, Anderson said one of his favorite movies was one Faye did with Robert Redford.  “I’m blanking on the name,” said the newsman.  Cut to Faye, who looked like a Dunaway in the headlights – “Now you’re making me blank on it.”  Talk about a gaggle of senior moments!  They continued talking about a movie neither of them could name.  Meanwhile, I’m screaming at my TV, Three Days of the Condor!  Anderson finally remembered it, and Faye smiled through those store-bought teeth and repeated the name.  Priceless.  Then Anderson mentioned that The Academy hadn’t yet settled on a host for the Oscars.  “What about you?” said Cooper.  Faye had a look on her face that basically said, “Look, I can’t remember the names of movies I’ve BEEN in.  And, may I remind you of the last time I was on the Oscars?  La La Land!”

Faye’s main purpose for stopped by was to let the international viewing audience know that she would be back on Broadway playing Katharine Hepburn in Tea at Five by my dear friend Matthew Lombardo (and kudos to Faye for mentioning his name on CNN – writers usually get overlooked).  At this point, Cohen really stepped in it when he said, “You beat Katharine Hepburn for an Academy Award, if I remember.”  Faye peered at him and said, “How did you know that?”  How indeed.  Dunaway got her first nomination for Bonnie and Clyde and lost to Hepburn.  When she won her Oscar for Network, Hepburn wasn’t nominated.  So, Andy, I’m calling this one our first ever Faye-Pas.  To her credit, Faye didn’t accept the compliment.  She simply said, “I didn’t, unfortunately.”

Heart of Hart

If the Golden Globes taught us anything, it’s that not just anyone can host.  The Oscars may be more than a month away, but they are still host-less.  So, Ellen DeGeneres decided to flex her considerable power to strong-arm Kevin Hart back into the job – and strong-arm the viewing audience into accepting him.  Apparently, Ellen and Kevin are good friends, and she thinks his past homophobic rants should not preclude him from the job.  In what was presented as a spontaneous interview on her show, Ellen asked Hart about the controversy and why he stepped down.  He then rambled on and on about…well, really, about nothing.  She then allegedly surprised him by saying that she spoke up on his behalf to The Academy.  I don’t know who she spoke to at The Academy – it may very well have been a receptionist, or even a temp.  “We want him to host, whatever we can do, we would be thrilled, and he should host,” said whomever answers the phone at The Academy.

This pissed off many people – specifically gay people.  Who was Ellen to speak on behalf of the gay community?  Maybe she is friends with Kevin and forgives him, but not everyone agrees.  Don Lemon – whose opinion is germane if for no other reason than he is a black, gay man – said he doesn’t think Hart should be allowed to host.  Lemon said Hart’s past “jokes” actually do represent the views of many black fathers of gay children.  “That is a joke to Kevin.  But the truth is, that is a reality for many little boys in the United States.  Somewhere, a black dad is beating his black son.”  Lemon added, “Apologizing and moving on does not make the world a better place for people who are gay or people who are transgender.  Being an ally does.”

Let me say I don’t have a dog in this fight.  I really don’t have any strong feelings about Kevin Hart – although I stand by my earlier statement that if you aren’t tall enough to get on Space Mountain, you can’t host the Oscars.  Beyond that, I have no idea in the heart of Hart if he is homophobic or not.  What I do know is that comics will say anything for a laugh – and I suspect Kevin Hart’s core audience would laugh at homophobic comments.  So, while I don’t know if he’s homophobic, I do know he thought the comments were funny.  Likewise, I think his non-apology apology seems to be what he thinks people want to hear.  To get the gig, he has to appear contrite, so that’s what he’s doing – with a fair amount of indignation that we’d even think he was really homophobic.

The real question is, can people evolve?  I suppose they do.  Politicians do.  People like Obama and Clinton changed their stance on gay marriage as their view “evolved” (although, like comics, I think politicians play to their audience).  Ultimately, I believe in the free market.  If The Academy wants Kevin Hart to host and he wants to host, he should host.  And if people don’t like him, believe he is homophobic, or don’t buy his apology, they should not watch the Oscars.  Kevin solved the problem for us – he (again) took himself out of the running to host…for now.

Golden Globes

Welcome to 2019 – officially.  And to kick it off, we’re reporting on the Golden Globes, even though I’m not there.  I know you count on me to be your eyes and ears everywhere, but I had pressing business elsewhere.  I did send my minions to report back to me and, well, even they were bored.  Some quick quips: I don’t know who looked more annoyed to be there, Billy Porter or Johnny Galecki; every once in a while, you think Sam Neill is dead, then, poof, there he is; much like Keith Urban, I wouldn’t let anyone near me with a flu shot; Dick Van Dyke had firmer footing than Michael DouglasChristian Bale, comedy genius; and is there anyone more breathtaking than my pal Justin Hartley?  It’s important to note that these awards are less about who won than who was snubbed.  That’s all.

Ellen On The Couch

Our Ask Billy question comes from Freddie in Hawaii who writes, “I just saw Ellen’s new comedy special.  Was she really the first female comedian Johnny invited to the couch?  Not someone like Joan Rivers or Phyllis Diller?”

It’s true, the first time Ellen DeGeneres did stand-up on The Tonight ShowJohnny Carson waved her over to the sofa.  But she wasn’t necessarily the first woman he invited over.  According to reports, when Roseanne made her first appearance on The Tonight Show a year before Ellen, Johnny also waved her over…but she was so scared, she just ran off the stage.  As to Joan and Phyllis, they were always on the show as guests – not to do stand-up.  So, they didn’t have to be invited over to the couch – they were booked on the couch.

colorbar1

When our couch stories have nothing to do with casting, it’s definitely a new year and time to end yet another column.  I’d love to chat more, but it’s New Year’s Eve and, frankly, I’ve got better things to do.  But, the celebrations will continue all year long at www.BillyMasters.com – the site that straddles more than years.  If you’ve got a question, send it to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Criss gets cast in a straight role!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Criss Plays Straight

Darren Criss says he is done raping the gay community.  Well, he didn’t say it like that.  What he actually said was this: “There are certain roles that I’ll see that are just wonderful.  But I want to make sure I won’t be another straight boy taking a gay man’s role.”  Am I the only one who finds it amusing that he refers to himself as a boy…taking a role from a gay man?  I mean, he’s 31 – I think the boy days are long gone, bucko.  And riddle me this – if Criss stops playing gay parts, what exactly will he do for work?

Inside Spacey’s Busboy

While Kevin Spacey is probably grateful to have 2018 behind him, he’s still got some daunting situations a-brewin’.  First and foremost are charges for allegedly sexually assaulting a teenage boy at a Nantucket bar in 2016.  As you may recall, Spacey allegedly flirted with the 18-year-old busboy in a restaurant, bought him a drink (after the boy said he was of age), and began putting his hands down the lad’s pants…as one does when one flirts with a busboy.  Unfortunately for Spacey, the boy is the son of a former Boston-area television news anchor.  Unfortunately for the boy, he reported the incident to the police over a year after the incident.  Something smells fishy to me, but that could just be Nantucket!  I don’t question the boy’s account of the night, but I do question the motive.  Spacey will be formally arraigned on January 7th.  If Spacey is found guilty, he could be facing 15-20 years in jail.  On the positive side, by the time he gets out, he’ll be able to hit on Andy Cohen’s kid!

In one of those situations that you’d swear was made up, the same day the formal charges against him were announced, Spacey broke his online silence by posting an odd video in which he plays his character from House of Cards.  In it, he condemns how the show ended, and how things are not as they appear in politics…and in life.  Amazingly, this three-minute clip is one, single, perfect take, and it reminds us of two things: 1) what an extraordinary actor Kevin Spacey is and, B) that he’s batshit crazy.

Kennedy Center Honors

One of my favorite ways of ending the year is to watch the Kennedy Center Honors.  And, what a gala it was.  They honored Cher.  Reba.  And a bunch of others who slipped my mind…oh, yes, composer Philip Glass, saxophonist Wayne Shorter, and the creators of Hamilton (Lin-Manuel MirandaThomas KailAndy Blankenbuehler and Alex Lacamoire).  Here’s a little inside tidbit you won’t hear anywhere else.  One of my DC deep throats told me that Lin-Manuel was approached about getting the Kennedy Center Honor…solo.  Allegedly, he said that he’d decline the honor unless it was given to the entire creative team.  Talk about being a team player.

In recent years, I’ve tuned in to these festivities to see Caroline Kennedy.  So I was disappointed that Mrs. Schlossberg was unable to attend…probably competing in some equestrian show.  Nary a Schlossberg seemed available.  So, naturally, when you think of the Kennedy legacy, the obvious host is Latina spitfire, Gloria Estefan.  In an advance photo promoting the telecast, the honorees were assembled, and you’d swear it was an exhibition at Madame Tussauds!  Of course, one can’t capture movement in a still photo.  Color me surprised to tune in and see Cher just as animated on the telecast – it’s like every time the camera panned to her, they simply hit pause.  Thank God she opened her eyes and sprung to life once Cyndi Lauper appeared.  She even jumped up and danced a bit.  And that’s when I understood the problem – I believe that corset she was wearing restricted her breathing.

Daley Doggie Style

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black just had a kid – so I guess that ties in the old and new definition of gays and children.  In fact, we’re about to tie in the topic of bottoms.  There is a photo which is purportedly Tom Daley nude and on all fours (and I’d bet what’s left of my reputation that it’s real).  Then stills from a sex tape circulated which allegedly show Daley bottoming for a buff bald bloke (side note – it was pointed out to me that alliteration is an early sign of dementia).  Now, I’m not willing to bet what’s left of Tom’s reputation on it, but I will say the photos look real to me.  To settle the matter, I’ll simply post them on BillyMasters.com and you can decide for yourself.

Daddy Andy

The year saw the breakup of Anderson Cooper and Benjamin Maisani.  “We are still family to each other, and love each other very much.  We remain the best of friends, and will continue to share much of our lives together.”  This announcement came days after Cooper was seen squiring around a 33-year-old radiologist from Dallas named Victor Lopez.  As luck would have it, Cooper’s best buddy Andy Cohen announced that he too was suddenly single, having broken up with Harvard grad student Clifton Dassuncao.  But, in late breaking news, Cohen just announced he’s having a child  Now, I know what you’re thinking, but I double checked – he has a surrogate and is actually becoming a dad.   I’m fairly confident we’ll have more details to share next week/year.

Colton and Jeff Update

I would need a full column to really go over all the details of the Colton Haynes and Jeff Leatham marriage.  In fact, I’m exhausted before I even start recounting it.  So, let’s just encapsulate.  Boy meets boy.  Boy proposes to boy.  Boy marries boy.  Boy records a song called “Man It Sucks”.  Boy files for divorce from other boy.  Boy flies to Vancouver to surprise boy on boy’s birthday.  Boy and boy are back together.  Did you follow that?  Good.

And even though we didn’t include an “Ask Billy” question, I am always happy to find you poking about in my inbox.  Dash a note off to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Colton and Jeff’s next breakup (as we go to press, we hear the next installment is “boy serves younger boy with divorce papers”).  So, until next year, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Cattrall Tells It Like It Is

Not all scandals happen between dead people.  Take Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker…please.  One must give Cattrall credit – unlike most celebs who smile and say everything is fine, she told Piers Morgan that the two were never friends and Parker could have been “nicer”.  Parker, from the Barbara Walters school of celebrity, said the comments left her “heartbroken”.  When Cattrall’s brother died, Parker posted this on Instagram: “Dearest Kim, my love and condolences to you and yours and Godspeed to your beloved brother.  Xx”.  Cattrall fired back:  “I don’t need your love or support at this tragic time @sarahjessicaparker”.  To make sure there was no confusion, Kim then wrote:  “My mom asked me today ‘When will that @sarahjessicaparker, that hypocrite, leave you alone?’  Your continuous reaching out is a painful reminder of how cruel you really were then and now.  Let me make this VERY clear.  (If I haven’t already)  You are not my family.  You are not my friend.  So I’m writing to tell you one last time to stop exploiting our tragedy in order to restore your ‘nice girl’ persona.”  So, no Sex and the City 3?

Porowski Revealed

I also recently told you that Antoni Porowski from Queer Eye was whispered to be dating Trace Lehnhoff, formerly of Flipping Out.  Well, they just made their liaison official with a social media post.  Around the same time, we got word that the ridiculously hot Antoni had shot a potential photo spread (so to speak) for Calvin Klein underwear.  Some of the photos briefly surfaced on the photographer’s Instagram page, but then were yanked.  Happily, you can yank away to your heart’s content ‘cause we’ve got the snaps on BillyMasters.com.

Billy Reviews Broadway

Then I had to rush to LAX to catch a plane to NYC.  Since I paid for all my show tickets, I can say whatever I want – I mean, I always do anyway, but now I don’t have to sugarcoat it.  First up was The Waverly Gallery with Elaine May, not a name one immediately thinks of to helm a play about a woman in the beginning stages of dementia.  To pace it just right and know when to give more and when to pull back is a master skill, and May handles it beautifully.  The play itself is somewhat episodic in nature, but the performances were indelible.  Everyone in this show was great (kudos to Joan Allen), but ultimately you’ll walk out whistling Elaine May.

One of the hot tickets in town was Stockard Channing and Hugh Dancy in Apologia.  Since this was the play’s final week, it was sold out.  But that didn’t stop me from going to the theatre anyway.  Happily, I was able to grab a single seat – although in confirming my purchase, it sounded like the guy in the box office said “One ticket for Stockard Channing as Apollonia”.  For a split second, I had visions of Stockard in leather and lace, straddling a motorcycle, and singing “When Doves Cry”.  Now THAT’S a show I’d fly out to see!  Anything short of that was going to be a disappointment.  Happily, the play is good and Stockard was her usual brilliant self.  As great as Hugh Dancy always is, I felt he was woefully underutilized – but that might be because he never took his shirt off.

colorbar1

I knew going into Torch Song that Michael Urie was miscast as Arnold.  It’s not that he’s not good – he’s exceptionally talented.  But it’s not an effortless fit.  More often than not, it feels awkward and forced.  Most of the blame falls on Moisés Kaufman’s direction, which could have (and should have) masked some of the issues.  More often than not, Urie appeared to be trapped in an SNL skit filled with bad accents and schticky physicality.  People either love or hate Mercedes Ruehl as Arnold’s mother.  I thought she was fine.  Great even.  Specifically, you completely believed she was Urie’s mother because many of their mannerisms were strikingly similar.  Arnold’s on-again, off-again bisexual lover Ed was played to perfection by Ward Horton (who I previously enjoyed in a play nobody else saw), while Michael Hsu Rosen was a deliciously conniving twink Alan.  But why, oh why, did they cast someone as the son who looks twice the age he’s supposed to be?  This David looks like he stumbled in from a post-college Propecia commercial.  When Ma mistakes him for her son’s new lover, it seems completely plausible.  If anything, David looks like he could be Arnold’s sugar daddy.  Sorry, I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em.

Lifespan of a Fact stars Daniel RadcliffeBobby Cannavale, and Cherry Jones – a terrific trio, indeed.  Cherry ends up with the short end of that stick (I kept picturing Elizabeth Ashley in the role).  Cannavale plays a difficult but acclaimed writer hired to write an “essay” for a magazine.  Radcliffe is assigned the role of “proofing” the essay.  He comes up with 129 pages of notes for an essay that is only 15 pages long!  It’s a fascinating discourse on how sometimes the truth can get in the way of a good story.  Is fudging OK if it helps the narrative?  Or is a lie always a lie?  As someone who struggles with this weekly (yes, I’m talking to you, Pasadena), it definitely hit home.  The play is smart, funny, and engaging – to say nothing of topical.  Definitely my pick of the week.

Divas Still Singing

I then zipped over to Divas where, child, it was just pandemonium.  Those people want their Jenifer Lewis, and they want her now.  But, if they wanted a photo, they had to buy the book (the purple paperback of The Mother of Black Hollywood makes a GREAT Christmas gift).  Jenifer sang.  She carried on.  She did some high kicks.  She did everything you’d expect her to do…and more.  We had a blast.  And Sheryl Lee Ralph – well, what can one say?  She pulls it all off so gorgeously and glamorously and generously.  A great night on every level.

Yes, Arnetia

I’ve got way too much to share with you this week, so I’m gonna dive right in.  I must make a confession – I’ve loved Arnetia Walker since I saw her getting fucked doggie-style by Ray Sharkey in Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills.  I know – that’s a lot to take in (that’s what she said!).  So when the prolific Stan Zimmerman told me she was starring in his and Christian McLaughlin’s play Yes, Virginia at The Complex in Hollywood, I had to go.  Problem was, I had no free time.  I couldn’t go to a preview – I had to bake lemon bars for a holiday party.  I couldn’t go to the opening night because I had my Well-Strung boys in their Christmas Show at the LA Gay & Lesbian Center (it was great, it was fabulous, we’ll come back to them in the Gift Giving section).

The only possible time I could go was the Sunday matinee.  But it was gonna be tight since I was escorting Jenifer Lewis to Divas Simply Singing at 5PM.  The play was at 3PM, and it was 90 minutes long.  So I’d have time to meet and greet and do whatever else one does when meeting someone who you’ve seen getting fucked doggie-style (in addition to the sexual act, what makes that moment particularly memorable is Arnetia’s comedic timing…as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com).  I loved the play, and Arnetia was a dream.  In fact, she holds the distinction of having played virtually every part in Dreamgirls – possibly including James “Thunder” Early!  She is a versatile powerhouse who honed her skills in the theatre and took them to the big and small screen.  She stars alongside Mindy Sterling, who I also love but I never saw get fucked in any position (why do I keep harping on this?).  It was a privilege to see them both in this terrific play and in an intimate theatre.  It runs through December 30th

Daley & the Bald Bloke

Queer athletes bring us to our Ask Billy question from Stephen in Anaheim.  “Remember all that talk about a sex tape of Tom Daley being shopped around?  Whatever happened to that?”

That’s a good question.  Sure, we got quite a fascinating shot of his ass in the air waiting for…well, whomever turned up.  And there was that brief clip of him allegedly fondling his nether regions through underwear.  But then, nothing.  So I did a little digging and found quite a few still shots from a video that allegedly stars Mr. Daley and a rather hot bald bloke.  Now, I cannot say that this is definitely Tom.  For all I know, it could be one of those many Tom Daley look-a-likes with a strikingly similar body, similar hair, and similar ass which is enjoyed with great gusto by a hot bald guy.  I mean, anything’s possible.  Check it out at BillyMasters.com and decide for yourself.

More Holiday Gifts

Time for another installment of Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions.  This week, we’re delivering the perfect 2019 calendar.  My first choice is usually the Orthodox Calendar, but they have let me down.  When that calendar started, it featured risqué photos of allegedly Orthodox priests and monks.  Now they’re admitting the photos are of models, but still “inspired by” Orthodox priests and monks.  Thanks, but no thanks.

Instead, I am happy to once again spotlight the work of the Warwick Rowers.  This group of hot athletes has been raising funds through their calendar since 2009.  Obviously the men change, but the standards remain high.  The gay and straight rowers have twice been named UK Charity Calendar of the Year by whomever votes on these things…presumably a bunch of Brits.  This year’s calendar features a special guest – two-time Olympic rower Robbie Manson from New Zealand.  And let’s just say his openly gay oar is prominently featured.  While we will share some of the more sizzling shots on BillyMasters.com, I’d suggest you grab the calendar quickly at WarwickRowers.org.  And HURRY – I was gonna promote the Ben Cohen calendar, but it’s already sold out.

Falsettos Tour Cast

I’m more than a bit intrigued by the cast of the national tour of Falsettos.  One might think that Christian Borle and Andrew Rannells would be hard to top – well, not that hard.  Then it was announced that the tour will star Max von Essen and Nick Adams, and more than my ears perked up.  First off, they’re both gay, which is always a plus.  And Max is a leading man of the first order.  He’s been the stand-by for some great people (Ricky Martin in Evita and virtually everyone in Les Misérables) and, for a while, he was in the running for the real-life role of Mrs. Neil Patrick Harris – but that’s another story.  Nick, on the other hand, is more known for his body than his body of work – although that’s mighty impressive as well.  So for him to flex his thespianistic muscles in this role is a tantalizing prospect, indeed.  Fingers crossed he’s up to the challenge.  With Eden Espinosa rounding out this luxurious cast, you have a great show that’s not to be missed when it comes to a city near you.

Faye Tackles Hepburn

I typically wouldn’t have a Fayewatch item this early in the column.  But trust me, this is no normal Fayewatch.  Then again, there is no such thing as a “normal” Fayewatch.  For the past few years, Miss Dunaway’s professional output has been limited to a curious extended commercial for Gucci and shuffling onstage at two consecutive Academy Awards – thus ensuring her spot when it’s time for the inevitable In Memoriam segment.  That was all a warm-up for her grand return to Broadway.  Ah, the Great White Way.  Faye hasn’t appeared there since 1982 – I believe she was 82 at the time.  And she’s finally found a vehicle to harness her unique talents, such as they are.  She will star in Tea at Five, a one-woman show about…brace yourself, Katharine Hepburn!  Well, when you think of people suitable to play dead grand dames, who else?  The press release indicates that the run will take place sometime next summer and will be a “strictly limited engagement” (I will refrain from the obvious joke).  Here’s something the press release doesn’t say – the first choice for the role of Miss Hepburn was the divine Charles Busch!  And I should know: I was there.  Back in 2011, Busch starred in a one-night-only performance of Matthew Lombardo’s revised play, which was a benefit for the Ali Forney Center.  Needless to say, he was magical.  Charles was courted for a full run, but Busch marches to the beat of his own drum and declined.  So, essentially Faye is replacing a fella in a frock.  How curious – usually it’s the other way around.

Thirsty For Burlington

The good thing about having lasted so long in this business we call show is that I’ve grown up with many of the people I write about.  The acclaimed Thirsty Burlington and I go back a LONG way.  Long before I started writing this column, I spent years hosting shows in my native Boston.  One of the regulars in attendance was the young Scott Townsend.  To have watched Scott transform himself into Thirsty Burlington, one of the world’s premier Cher impersonators, has been a joy for me.  But that was nothing next to the joy I felt watching the film Thirsty and seeing how this extraordinary person developed.  It was also a pleasant surprise to see my friend Jonny Beauchamp play Scott in his early years!  If you are a fan or new to the Burlington brand, this is a film I cannot recommend enough.  You can grab it on Amazon or watch it on Amazon Prime.

colorbar1

When I’m still Thirsty for more Burlington, it’s time to end another column.  I forgot the worst part of the holidays – peppermint bark.  Don’t get me wrong, I love it…a bit too much.  So while I am out doing a few extra thousand steps, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s always a step ahead of everyone else.  But even while exercising (or eating), I can respond to your every need.  Drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Pope Francis starts giving out Bibles with a strip of condoms as a bookmark!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Gay Soap Stud Secrets

Without further ado, we bring you more of Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions.  Thom Bierdz has the distinction of not only being the first openly gay actor to appear as a regular on a daytime drama, he also played a character who was openly gay.  Of course, neither the actor nor the character started out that way.  When Phillip Chancellor III was killed off of The Young and the Restless in 1989, Bierdz went into something of a freefall.  When his character returned from the dead 20 years later – as soap characters do – it was revealed that he faked his death because he wanted to live openly as a gay man.  If you think that sounds bizarre, wait till you read Young, Gay & Restless.  It’s a gripping story of a handsome young man trying to make it in Hollywood, hitting the heights of daytime drama one day, and then bartending at the Soap Opera Digest Awards the next.  Dichotomy is a regular part of Bierdz’s life.  While he was being pursued by some of the best-looking men in Hollywood, he was still feeling inadequate about his looks and took some drastic measures to change them.  Throw in one brother who committed suicide and another who killed their mother, and you have a story that’s stranger than fiction.  By the way, Bierdz is marking his second appearance on our Gift Giving list.  His previous book about the murder of his mother, Forgiving Troy, made our list in 2009.  You can get his books – and his artwork – at ThomBierdz.com.

Rita Returns to Roots

Whoever said you can never go home again never met Rita Moreno.  The 86-year-old EGOT winner is having a third act that rivals her first two.  Not only is she enjoying major success on the Netflix reboot of One Day at a Time, but she’s returning to her roots.  As you know, Moreno won her Oscar playing Anita in the film version of West Side Story.  With Steven Spielberg poised to shoot a remake next year, Rita has joined the cast and will be playing Valentina.  If you don’t remember her, you ain’t alone – the character didn’t exist.  Valentina is actually based on the original character of Doc, who was Tony’s boss at the corner store.  By the by, Moreno will also be one of the executive producers of the flick!  Felicidades!!

Kid Rock Takes on Behar

I may be powerful, but I am nothing next to Joy Behar.  She managed to get Kid Rock fired from being grand marshal of Nashville’s Christmas Parade without doing a thing!  It all started when Kid appeared on Fox & Friends to promote the parade.  “The division in the country right now, it’s so hard for people just to get past that we can disagree and still be cordial with one another.  God forbid you say something a little wrong – you’re racist, homophobic, Islamophobic.  People need to calm down, get a little less politically correct.”  Until that point, he had me.  Then he took that extra step.  “And I would say love everybody.  Except I’d say screw that Joy Behar bitch.  Everybody but that!”  Well, co-host Steve Doocy jumped in and said, “You cannot say that.  We apologize for that.”  Later, anchor Ainsley Earhardt said, “We do need to apologize.  We don’t feel that way about Joy Behar.  We don’t condone that language.”  Of course, since this happened an hour before The View, it was catnip for the co-hosts.  Sunny Hostin said, “You come for one of us, you come for all of us.”  Behar, who has been around longer than most, seemed to enjoy the added attention.  “All I can say is this bitch and these bitches would be happy to have you on the show and have a beer.”  The fracas got kicked up a notch when a spokesperson for the mayor of Nashville said, “If Kid Rock is still the grand marshal tomorrow, the mayor is inclined not to participate.”  Needless to say, Kid was out and the mayor was in.  But he can always go have a beer with the ladies of The View.

Chaka Khan Floats

Speaking of things in a bowl, we hear that Chaka Khan will be the Grand Marshal for the Rose Bowl Parade.  She’s even going to be on the float!  Of course, I suspect it’ll be hard to tell where the dress ends and the float begins.

colorbar1

When everything’s coming up Chaka, it’s time to end another column.  Before we hit New Year’s, we’ve got scads of celebrating to do at www.BillyMasters.com – the site that can stuff more than just your stocking.  Send your questions to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before de Havilland says, “Let them eat cake!”  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Danny Roberts Returns

Remember Danny Roberts from The Real World: New Orleans?  Way back in 2000, he was dating someone in the military whose face was blurred – back then you could be drummed out of the service for being gay.  We hadn’t heard much about Danny in recent years – except for an erect nude photo of dubious veracity which you can still find on our website.  Roberts recently slipped back into the spotlight via an interview with Entertainment Weekly, where he revealed three things: 1) he’s living in NYC, 2) he’s adopted a two-year-old girl, 3) he’s HIV-positive.  Apparently he found out his HIV status in 2011 after passing out and waking up in a pool of blood.  While he doesn’t go into detail about the passing out or pool of blood, he says this about his status: “The last thing I ever want is pity.  I just want people to know and be aware.  I knew so little myself so I get it.”

Three Times The Flash

In a story which will put the tingle back in your loins, my pal John Wesley Shipp has winched his considerable assets back into tights to once again play The Flash.  “Billy,” I can almost hear you crying, “Doesn’t he play the father of The Flash?”  Oh, how soon they forget.  Back when James Van Der Beek barely had his first pubes, Shipp was the eponymous Flash for CBS.  Yes, now he plays the father.  But in the ‘90s, our superheroes were much hunkier.  For the fifth annual Arrowverse crossover, Elseworld will feature characters from The FlashArrow and Supergirl in a CW spectacular.  The event takes place over three nights, December 9-11, introduces Batwoman and Lois Lane, and features Shipp in tights for the first time since 1990.  Well, there was that night I spent with him in Toledo back in 2011…but that’s another story.

Macys Same Sex Kiss

Gossip doesn’t take a holiday – even on Thanksgiving.  While your beloved Billy was nibbling on assorted legs and thighs, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade featured two women kissing.  And?  I mean, it’s 2018…there must have been more to it than just that.  Nope, apparently that was it.  People online were going berserk after a same-sex smooch between two female cast members from the Broadway musical The Prom, a show about a group of actors saving a high school prom after the PTA threatens to cancel the event if a lesbian couple attends (I haven’t seen it yet, but I hear it’s great).  When the ladies locked lips on live TV, life imitated art and a few vocal people expressed their outrage.  One Tweet tickled me.  “Millions of small children just watched two girls kiss and had their innocence broken this morning.”  Two things: 1) I’d be shocked if the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade had one million total viewers, let alone millions of children, and b) Are kids really shocked by two girls kissing?

Michael C. Hall’s Secret

Our Ask Billy question comes from Victor in Detroit.  “I just read that Michael C. Hall says he’s bisexual.  Didn’t you write about this years ago?”

Apparently I knew before Mikey did.  In an interview with The Daily Beast, he said that appearing in Cabaret made him aware of it.  “I think there’s a spectrum.  I am on it.  If there was a percentage, I would say I was not all the way heterosexual.  I think playing the Emcee required me to fling a bunch of doors wide open because that character I imagined as pansexual.  Yeah, like I made out with Michael Stuhlbarg every night doing the show.  I think I have always leaned into any fluidity in terms of my sexuality.”  He added, “I’ve never had an intimate relationship with a man.”  Now, I don’t want to call Michael C. Hall a liar, but I think he’s a big fat liar…just my humble opinion.

Jaden Smith’s Boyfriend

Then there’s Jaden Smith, who is going somewhere Daddy never went.  At a recent show, he said, “I just want to say Tyler, The Creator is the best friend in the whole world and I love him so fucking much.  And I want to tell you guys something – Tyler doesn’t want to say, but Tyler is my motherfucking boyfriend, and he’s been my motherfucking boyfriend my whole fucking life.  Tyler, The Creator is my fucking boyfriend.  It’s true!”  Or is it?  Tyler, The Creator (a name I’m fairly confident doesn’t appear on a birth certificate) can be seen shaking his head offstage.  Then Jaden Tweeted, “I told everyone you can’t deny it now”.  Tyler responded with a post of his own (and don’t get mad at me – I’m just quoting him): “hahaha you a crazy nigga man.”  Part of me believes this.  Part of me doesn’t.  Part of me doesn’t have a clue who Tyler, The Creator is.  And part of me thinks this is a bunch of straight guys laughing about being gay…which brings us back to Will.

It wouldn’t be the first gay rumors about Tyler, The Creator (and let’s hope I don’t ever have to type those three words again).  Last year, he wrote a song extolling the virtues of Timothée Chalamet.  In “Okra” (get ready to sing along), he rapped: “Tell Tim Chalamet to come and get at me, skin glowin’, clear of acne.”  Now, there’s a talent.  I bet even Cole Porter wouldn’t know what to rhyme with acne – let alone Clearasil!  Still, it’s nice to see Tyler doesn’t have a type.

error: Copying content from BillyMasters.com is prohibited