Category Archives: Breaking

Foxx is ENORMOUS

That leads perfectly into our next story.  A woman claims that after she refused to perform oral sex on him, Jamie Foxx slapped her in the face with his penis.  So, clearly she was in the general penis vicinity.  At the very least, she was penis adjacent!  The incident allegedly happened in 2002 at a party in Las Vegas, and therein lies the problem.  The woman never filed a police report.  In fact, she never even talked about it until now.  She claims to have been inspired by the #MeToo movement.  You know who’s not saying “me too”?  Jamie Foxx.  His lawyer says, “Jamie emphatically denies that this incident ever occurred, and he will be filing a report with the Las Vegas Police Department against the woman for filing a false police report against him.”  The Nevada police say they will not be investigating the case since the three-year statute of limitations has passed.  What I got out of that is there’s a three-year statute of limitations on penis slapping – information I’ll file away for future reference.  I don’t know if there’s a statute against showing you Jamie Foxx’s penis, which is big enough to slap the bejesus out of you.  Oh, yeah, Katie Holmes jumped out of the frying pan and onto a pogo stick, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

All This For 20 Bucks

See if you can figure out why the following headline caught my eye.  “Man walked around Target exposing himself for $20”.  Hmmm, what could it be?  This story comes to us courtesy of the Ocala Star-Banner – of course it happened in Florida!  The man in question, Richard Kuhn, is barely a man.  Why, he’s only 21 years old – Kevin Spacey wouldn’t look at him twice!  But I can tell you, based on his mug shot, Kuhn is quite fetching…and I’ve trained quite a few fellas to fetch over the years…but I digress.  Kuhn was at the store with some friends when they said they’d pay him $20 to “walk around the store with his genitals out” – so clearly the recession has hit everyone.  Reportedly, his penis was spotted in the home décor section, the women’s clothing aisle, and the frozen food section, which I think speaks quite highly of the lad.  The store got complaints from three different women – proving once again that women wouldn’t know a good thing if it hit them in the face.

Flipping Out Over Vagina

Our next story is about Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out – who I didn’t even know was still relevant.  Apparently his surrogate is suing Bravo for filming her giving birth.  OK, first off – Jeff had a baby?  And it wasn’t with Zoila or Jenni?  Jeff and his partner Gage Edward (which I’m guessing is his porn name) hired a surrogate.  She signed a contract which allowed them to film her doctor’s appointments.  But she claims the producers surreptitiously filmed the birth!  In the episode, they showed a blurred image of her vagina, which is enough for me!  What really pissed her off was something Lewis then said on camera.  “If I was a surrogate, and I had known there was going to be an audience, I probably would have waxed.  And that was the shocking part for Gage.  I don’t think Gage had ever seen a vagina, let alone one that big.”  She’s filed suit, saying the experience has caused her incredible anguish, self-loathing, contempt and depression.  Lewis responded to the suit with an Instagram post showing a screenshot of the Variety article reporting the lawsuit with the following caption: “I guess we won’t be using her again.”

Is Hemsworth Christ?

“I will see anything with Chris shirtless in a field of flowers. 
Or Chris looking like Jesus in the rain.
  
– Channing Tatum’s comments after seeing stills of a shirtless Chris Hemsworth in Bad Times at the El Royale
To recap, Tatum’s divorcing his wife and lusting after a shirtless Hemsworth.  Happy Pride!

French Model or Sex Pig?

In a scintillating Ask Billy question, Robbie from Dallas asks, “What do you know about model Charles Laurent?  I hear he’s a sex pig.”

I never heard of him before, but I’m happy to research anyone who is a sex pig.  Turns out the luscious French model has a past – providing services to people on an hourly basis.  Apparently, that was after he was discovered “dancing”, he says euphemistically.  Nowadays, Charles-Laurent Marchand (to use his full name) is far more respectable, but previously had a penchant for posing nude whenever he could – thank God!  While lately he’s been more chaste, our researchers uncovered a sizable appendage.  Yes, the face is hot and the body is beyond perfect.  But trust me when I say you’ll wanna see the rest.  And the only place to do that is on BillyMasters.com.

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