Category Archives: Breaking

Jamal’s Fiancé

Jussie Smollett is enjoying having a fiancé on Empire.  But it almost turned out quite differently.  “There was talk about Jamal having a white boyfriend and I said, ‘Fuck no!’  Not for any reason except we have a responsibility and we have such a beautiful opportunity to show two black men in a relationship together, in a healthy relationship.  But it was important and that wasn’t anything against white men.  It was just a thing of…this is what I wished I had seen as a kid because if I had seen certain things as an adolescent, I would have had a much different understanding of who I am in an earlier space.”  I’m still confused – would he date a white guy or not?

Billy Hamlet Times Two

Last week, I was pretty much everywhere.  From Los Angeles to Boston to NYC to New Hope, PA, and back.  I’ll spare you the drama, the white-out conditions, the frigid temperatures, and the detour to Secaucus (oh, the humanity).  On Broadway, I caught one of the last performances of Bernhardt/Hamlet.  The play by Theresa Rebeck (who, among other things, wrote the first season of Smash) has good material, and an even better cast.  There’s a terrific story there, but it gets sidetracked into women’s lib chatter.  You see, the legendary actress Sarah Bernhardt may well have been for women’s lib.  After all, she believed women could do whatever men could…and better.  But she didn’t go around fighting for all women – she just did what she wanted.  This is one of the reasons she wanted to play Hamlet.  Thank goodness for Janet McTeer, who is brilliant as the divine Sarah.  She makes something out of almost everything…except for the opening of the second act where she was felled by a mysterious malady which led to her being assisted off the stage.  House lights came on, and an announcement was made that the show would resume momentarily.  Within five minutes, the lights dimmed, and McTeer entered, picking up where she left off – but not before saying, “You weren’t going to get off that easily”.  It’s a flawed play about a fascinating moment in theatrical history starring a true legend.

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The next day, I saw another legendary lady in another play about Hamlet.  The play was Paul Rudnick’s I Hate Hamlet, and the actress was the incandescent Elizabeth Ashley.  There are few people I would risk life and limb to see in a blizzard.  But Miss Ashley tops that list.  Whenever she hits the stage, it crackles with excitement.  And when a mishap occurs – such as awkwardly sitting on a sofa – she reacts as she would in real life.  “My dear, your chaise is quite low,” she ad-libbed in a German accent she claimed was right out of Hogan’s Heroes!  The Bucks County Playhouse has assembled a great cast for this play about a TV actor tackling Shakespeare (the run ends on December 1st).  When I was in college, I understudied the role of Andrew – played here by the adorable Ben Fankhauser.  Ben is terrific.  I would have been awful!  Even as a youngster, I knew THE role was the ghost of John Barrymore.  Tom Hewitt devours this scene-stealing role, and yet he never crosses the line into farce.  And playing this part has one enormous perk – he gets to seduce Elizabeth Ashley!  “Am I a lucky guy or what?  I can check that off my list,” he told me afterwards with a huge grin.  The play is as spirited as ever, and the cast is top-notch.  The set is quite stunning, and the whole production makes me eager to return to the Bucks County Playhouse.  But next time, I’ll wait till the thaw.

Gay Porn on The Voice

Last week, a contestant on The Voice claimed his porno past contributed to his elimination.  What most outlets skipped was that the porn he did was gay porn.  Tyshawn Colquitt says, “I did it when I was going through a rough time.  I got a presidential scholarship, but I didn’t have any money to pay for any type of living expenses, so I couldn’t go to college.  I was trying to do so many different things and it was just not enough.”  So often, amateur gay porn isn’t enough.  In this case, it happened to be amateur gay porn group scenes.  If you’re interested in viewing more of Tyshawn’s body of work, check out BillyMasters.com.

Frankie’s Throuple

There is not a member of the Grande family who interests me.  But, I know my readers like little Frankie, so here goes.  On Halloween, he announced that he is a part of a throuple.  For those of you not sexually adventurous, that means he’s in a relationship with two people.  What I have learned in my time around the block is that most throuples consist of the actual couple and a third who either doesn’t last long, or takes one member of the couple with him when he leaves.  I suspect this throuple is no different since Frankie revealed his boyfriends are a legally married couple.  I’ll say this for Frankie – he’s nabbed a hot couple.  And they bring something to the table – one’s a doctor, and one’s a lawyer.  When asked what his favorite part of the relationship is, Grande said, “Dick”.  Times two.  With Frankie, I’m sure nobody is waiting for a turn.

Have Another Peach

I told you that Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet would be re-teaming for a sequel to Call Me By Your Name.  Recently, Chalamet did an interview with Harry Styles for i-D (don’t ask…I don’t know).  Harry asked, “Can you still eat peaches?”  Oh, that little scamp.  Chalamet said, “Umm I can, but not without thinking about it.”  He also said, “That’s the most awkward scene to see with your parents in the whole world.  My poor father.”  Inexplicably, Styles followed that up with the following quip – “I’m sure he’s done it too.”  Oy!

Another Steven’s Out

I do hate to sound crabby, but if I can’t be crabby, who can?  I’m really disappointed in most of these reboots.  Murphy Brown might as well be filmed in slow motion at an old age home, Roseanne was fine until Roseanne died, and Charmed has no magic.  Perhaps it’s these disappointments that explain my fondness for Dynasty – as long as I don’t compare it to the original.  Last week, Nicollette Sheridan had a great moment when her Alexis popped a potato chip in her mouth after saying, “If you haven’t noticed, Cristals come and go around here.”  We’re barely into season two, and we’re already on our second Cristal.  But wait, there’s more – Steven is out.  The current actor, James Mackay, revealed, “While Steven had a choice to leave, unfortunately I didn’t.”  Executive producer Sallie Patrick was not pleased.  She blames the firing on “notes from the network”, mentioning that “the series just lost its sole queer couple.  Let’s hope Steven’s leave of absence is temporary.”  My sources tell me that the network has an intriguing idea – recast the role.  Why?  Because that’s what they did in the original series. 

Rami Malek Revealed

With Bohemian Rhapsody opening, I expect I will get several Ask Billy questions like this one from Justin in Rhode Island: “Rami Malek is so hot.  Is he gay?  Do you have nude pics or videos of him?

We got similar questions about Rami after he won the Emmy for Mr. Robot – and back then, we happily obliged.  However, I somehow missed last summer’s release of Papillon staring Rami and Charlie Hunnam.  This was a remake of the 1973 flick, with Charlie in the Steve McQueen role and Rami as a latter-day Dustin Hoffman.  His prison flick features quite a bit of nudity – like LOTS of it.  In fact, it would be easier for me to point out the scenes where hot men are clothed as opposed to when they’re showing skin.  Of course, that defeats the purpose of such a riveting story…at least, I suppose there was a story.  But you can look at the pretty pictures on BillyMasters.com.

Reality Show Romance

The problem with so many out gay people on television is that it’s hard to keep track of their ever-changing relationship status.  Take Antoni Porowski from the cast of the revamped Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.  Last week, he announced he was single.  Then, a few hours later, he was in a new relationship.  Well, we gays work fast and, let’s face it – ripped abs have a treacherously short shelf life.  Antoni’s revelation was that he’d split from the equally hot Joey Krietemeyer, whom he had been dating for about seven years.  We suspect the split happened a few months ago, since Antoni showed up on the arm of a familiar fella at some Emmy parties back in September.  Back then, people just figured Antoni and Trace Lehnhoff, from Flipping Out, were professional colleagues.  Apparently, it is much more than that – the twosome have gone public with their coupling.  Since the name Trace sounded familiar (one doesn’t meet many of them), I checked out the indispensable archives on BillyMasters.com.  Way back when he was Jeff Lewis’ intern, I ran into Trace on Halloween of 2010 while he was walking around WeHo wearing football shoulder pads and a jock strap!  Of course, we’ll re-post those photos, along with some of this new pairing.  You know what I got out of this item?  That Joey Krietemeyer is single.

Gay Love & Hip Hop

I must confess, I don’t watch Love and Hip Hop.  I know I should – Wendy talks about it all the time.  Perhaps I’ll tune in next season, since the show is adding a gay couple.  Model Zachary Jones is known for having a ridiculously hot body, which he enjoys showing off as much as possible.  He’s joining the cast, alongside his beau, Prince Carter.  The couple made a statement about the casting: “As an African-American gay male couple it’s tough as hell in today’s society and there are sooooooooooo many stigmas we’re up against.  With this platform we want to show that love has no face or color.  But love is all about treating others with respect.  Allowing people to just live their best lives.”  I do hope I included enough O’s in that quote!  You can sample the couple on our website.

Gus Rips Off Rippon

Some of our queer celebs had inventive costumes this year.  The one that stuck out for me was that of skier Gus Kenworthy, who went as fellow Olympian Adam Rippon.  He wore a replica of the skater’s Oscars ensemble, complete with leather harness!  Gus called himself “Adam Ripoff”, and replaced the Oscar over the real Adam’s shoulder with a similarly sized penis…as one does.  Rippon applauded the homage, saying, “We finally did each other.”  Kenworthy responded, “I’ve been wanting to do you since we met.”  Boys, boys, save it for someplace where same-sex encounters are encouraged – like the Olympic Village!

Chidi Shows Off Hot Bod

Our Ask Billy question comes from Gary in San Francisco.  “I don’t know if you watch The Good Place, but the guy who plays Chidi just was shirtless, and WOW – for a bookworm, he sure is jacked!”

That revelation was the twist nobody saw coming on The Good Place – a ripped Chidi!  I admit that the sight of his body really distracted me.  Apparently Chidi isn’t just a dorky nerd into heavy reading – he’s also into heavy lifting!  Whatever he’s doing, keep it up.  Once you see the pics on BillyMasters.com, I predict you’ll do the same.

Uber Driver Rides Wolf

Austin Wolf made headlines for his mile-high encounter with a Delta flight attendant (the video can be found on BillyMasters.com).  Wolf continues to make the rounds of people in the transportation industry.  Last week, he posted a video of an Uber driver servicing him – presumably it was part of his tip.  As always, we’ll post the video.

Sexy Soap Star Stalked

I’ve previously expressed my admiration for Max Ehrich, an actor who previously appeared on Under the Dome and The Young and the Restless, and is rumored to have played an active role in the private life of Chris Colfer – speculation, of course, but circumstantial evidence points in that direction.  Young Max recently posted the following on Twitter: “I am currently being stalked.  I am putting this out there so that this person (ppl involved) are aware that the police are now involved.  Please leave me alone.  I wish I could say that this is all over, but I’m continuing to get my safety threatened even with a security team.  I have to step away from social media at this time.  Love you guys.”  He then posted a photo of a burly gent sitting on his hotel bed with the word “SECURITY” printed on the back of his T-shirt (note to self – never hire a security guard who wears a T-shirt that says “SECURITY”).  Max then said, “Just wanted to update you guys that I am safe & secure.  I appreciate the messages.  Don’t take your safety for granted.  There really are some sick people out there.  Stay safe x”.   He later told TMZ that a realtor became infatuated with him, sexually aggressive, and at one point brandished a gun!  That fills in some of the blanks, but not all of it.  Sources say that this wasn’t so much a business relationship that went south as an online hookup that went wrong.  Not to victim blame, of course, but let this be a cautionary tale (or tail).

Blackface – Yay or Nay?

The big story last week was about Megyn Kelly and blackface – two things I never thought would go together.  Megyn Kelly and a lobotomy, yes.  Megyn Kelly and peroxide poisoning, yes.  Megyn Kelly and a Botox mishap, yes.  But blackface?  If you don’t know, Meg tackled the issue of using blackface for Halloween by saying it was OK to dress up as a specific person of a different ethnicity.  And that leads us, inevitably, to Designing Women.  Now, I know my audience – you all saw this coming a mile away.  In the famous episode, the ladies were in a talent show lip-synching to The Supremes.  There were many problems with this scenario.  First off, there were only three Supremes, while there were four DW.  Second, they performed “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”, which was a hit for Diane after she left The Supremes (although here’s a fun fact – The Supremes and Temptations recorded a cover of the Tammi Terrell/Marvin Gaye version of this song in 1968).  Third, and the issue germane to this situation, The Supremes were black women, while the ladies on DW were white.  Suzanne had her beautician whip up skin bronzing makeup.  Julia balked, saying it was insulting to black women.  Come showtime, the three girls are onstage au naturel when Suzanne walks out with tinted skin – looking stunning, I might add.

And that brings us to the question – if you are dressing up as someone famous of a different color, how far do you go?  And before you answer, I’m not talking about minstrel makeup with exaggerated lips; I’m talking natural coloring.  In theatre, this is commonplace.  When an opera singer plays Aida, she must look Ethiopian.  When someone sings or acts Othello, he must look like a Moor (although the Met recently stopped doing this).  When Whoopi Goldberg hosted the 1999 Academy Awards, she came out as Queen Elizabeth I – complete with the Virgin Queen’s heavily powdered white face.  For all those reasons – and believe me, I am no fan – I think Megyn got a raw deal when NBC fired her.  Methinks they were just looking for an excuse to dump her.

Austin Wolf Flies Delta

Lots of you sent in the same Ask Billy question.   But it was Randy in Maine who wrote in first.  “What is the story about the gay porn star and flight attendant having sex in the bathroom?  And there’s a video?  Where?”

Gay porn star Austin Wolf was on a Delta flight when he met a newly hired flight attendant.  The FA in question was not working, but he was in uniform.  At a certain point, the two disappeared into a lavatory for eight minutes.  I’d say you can only imagine what went on, but no need to imagine – Austin took a video with his phone!  Not only is the FA’s face clearly visible (since his mouth is doing much of the initial work), but so is his employee ID.  Oops!  And, before you ask, yes, the attendant enjoyed Austin from both ends.  Moments after Wolf posted the video, people went crazy and immediately identified the Delta employee.  He claims to have not known he was being filmed, which is: a) unbelievable and 2) hardly the point.  He’s been suspended.  Austin quickly deleted the video from the web…but not before we snagged it.  Prepare for liftoff, on BillyMasters.com.

Hernandez’s Prom Date

Someone making news is Aaron Hernandez, who died over a year ago.  The quarterback of his high school football team, Dennis SanSoucie, confirms that the two began a sexual relationship in middle school which continued through high school.  “Me and him were very much into trying to hide what we were doing.  We didn’t want people to know,” he says of his relationship with the former tight end.  Aaron’s brother Jonathan says that Hernandez “had a feminine way about him,” which enraged their father.  “I remember [Aaron] wanted to be a cheerleader.  My cousins were cheerleaders and amazing.  And I remember coming home and like my dad put an end to that really quick.”  We’ll give SanSoucie the last word: “I really truly feel in my heart I got the thumbs-up from him.”  TMI.

Billy Meets Brigitte

Opening night of Sell/Buy/Date was hosted by Lily Tomlin and Laverne Cox.  Rashida Jones (no relation) was also listed as a host but, to the best of my knowledge, she showed up, took some photos, and presumably had better places to be.  Afterwards, my play mama, Jenifer Lewis, went backstage to congratulate Sarah.  I was walking into the lobby with Debra Messing when, right in front of me, I saw her…Brigitte Nielsen.  Believe it or not, I would (and did) knock people over to get to Nielsen.  Most remember Gitte from her marriage to Sylvester Stallone, her various other romantic entanglements, and her tabloid headlines.  But if you were in the UK when she did Celebrity Big Brother, you saw another side of Gitte – a human side and a real person capable of great love and compassion.  She’s smarter than you think, wickedly funny, brutally honest, and a nurturer.

When I came upon her (you can’t miss her – she’s like 9 feet tall), she was chatting with a group of women, led by comedian Whitney Cummings!  The topic?  Fertility, IVF, and older women giving birth.  Cummings was asking Brigitte everything about her landmark pregnancy at 54.  Whit may be only 36, but she’s obviously thinking about having children – and, more importantly, when.  She even said, “You know, they should tell girls when they’re young that they should freeze their eggs so that they have them…just in case.”  What a brilliant idea – and it came from Whitney Cummings!  Nielsen spoke with them endlessly and even offered to stay in touch and be of service.  It was surely anticlimactic when I engaged her in conversation about her time on CBB, dished about Jackie Stallone, spoke Italian with her husband, and perhaps drooled a bit over her model son, Douglas Aaron Meyer (picture a male version of Gitte).  Photos will follow on BillyMasters.com.

Sell/Buy/Date is a HIT

When Sarah Jones’ solo show Sell/Buy/Date opened at the Geffen Playhouse last spring, it sold out in a matter of minutes.  It’s fortunate that the Los Angeles LGBT Center is mounting this encore presentation so that others can experience this mesmerizing work.  Jones is a phenomenon, with many touting her as a successor to Lily Tomlin.  Comparisons between the two miss a vital point – while Lily is the face of her work, the words are those of partner Jane Wagner.  Sarah Jones writes and performs her own material.  But like Tomlin’s solo pieces, Buy/Sell/Date could be seen repeatedly and leave you gleaning something new each time.  The show takes place in the future during a seminar on sex workers.  We meet men, women, children, elders, and Miss Jones inhabits them all beautifully.  The audience is not only entertained, but also moved to think.  In many ways, Sarah Jones makes one hopeful for the future.  Special plaudits must go out to director Carolyn Cantor.  The construct of the show, the seamless transitions, the fully-integrated technical aspects, the precise light and sound cues – those things don’t appear out of thin air.  Alas, too often a director gets short shrift because one imagines it all begins and ends with the performer.  Towards that end, kudos to set designer Dane Laffrey, lighting designer Matt Richter, and Bray Poor on sound.  The show runs though November 3rd, and you can get tickets at LALGBTCenter.org.

Well Strung’s Censored Stiff

I do hate when friends of mine are embroiled in a scandal.  But I will put on my impartial journalist cap and tell you about Chris Marchant, the hunky violinist in Well-Strung (who also strutted his stuff on The Amazing Race).  The group is typically in summer residency at Provincetown’s Art House.  Marchant, who is no stranger to showing skin in snaps, posted a photo taken in a Provincetown cemetery which features his shirtless torso leaning against an obelisk with the caption, “Can’t wait to get back to Ptown for Halloween and to help with the launch weekend of @ptownbrewingco”.  Well, people were outraged – not about the post, but about the photo.  One person said, “Someone wasn’t buried there for you to take an abs pic” – although I suppose it depends on the person.  Frankly, I wouldn’t mind Marchant’s sexy skin leaning against my erect obelisk – but that’s another story.  Initially, Chris was defensive – as one is wont to do.  Then, after the story went viral, he deleted the post saying, “While it was never my intention to offend, I understand that it was disrespectful to take such a picture against a memorial to the life of someone I never knew.  I deleted it, because the point of the post was to help a friend, and I would never want for my personal actions or words to harm the efforts of anyone else.  I apologize for any offense I caused.”  That wasn’t hard…or was it?  You can decide for yourself when you see the pic on BillyMasters.com.

Funny Gaga?

One of the people at BD’s wedding was Rosie O’Donnell.  The night before, she returned to stand-up comedy as opening act for Randy Rainbow.  It was there she announced that Lady Gaga would headline a Broadway revival of Funny Girl and that she, Rosie O’Donnell, would play her mother.  Nobody else has said a word about this project, but I suppose anything is possible.  It should be noted that while not a prerequisite, Fanny Brice is somewhere in her late teens when the show begins.  Barbra was all of 21 years old when she made the part her own.  Gaga is 32, and this production will surely take a few years to happen.  By then, she may be more likely to be cast as Mrs. Strakosh!

Cheyenne Says Me2 to Eric

Last week was the Point Honors Los Angeles 2018 Gala.  As you know, the Point Foundation is America’s largest scholarship-granting organization for LGBTQ students of merit.  Oodles of gays were on hand, including Greg Louganis, Adam Shankman, and Thomas Dekker (who gets sexier as he gets older).  The evening featured a mini-concert by Leona Lewis, which was spectacular.  But the highlight was the award presentations.  First honoree was Steven Canals, creator of Pose, who acknowledged all those whose shoulders we stand on.  The next honoree was Eric McCormack, who was introduced by Cheyenne Jackson.  When Eric took to the stage, the two kissed on the lips – not the first time (obviously).  Video of the speech and the kiss can be found on BillyMasters.com.

The View on Melania

Melania Trump recently declared, “I’m the most bullied person in the world” – a statement which has some credence.  To put it into context, the day she made this statement happened to be the 20th anniversary of the murder of Matthew Shepard – a young gay boy who was beaten and left to die in Laramie, Wyoming.  In a twist which further connects these two stories, it was announced on this sad anniversary that his ashes will be interred at Washington’s National Cathedral.  Yes, that Washington – within sight of the place Melania occasionally hangs her pith helmet.

Actress Yvette Nicole Brown was filling in for Joy Behar on The View last week.  On Friday, reporter Tom Llamas was promoting his sit-down with Melania.  One of the topics was the accusations of infidelity against Mr. Trump.  Yvette said, “Is it possible that she’s not concerned with his mistresses because she was one of them?”  The response from the White House was swift.  A spokesperson for the First Lady said, “Check your facts before you accuse someone of being a mistress.  She’s your @FLOTUS – she deserves your respect & certainly not your lies.  Disgusting.”  Sarah Huckabee Sanders Tweeted, “Sad @TheView continues their disgusting attacks on @FLOTUS.  The left’s ‘war on women’ they disagree with is a disgrace.  @FLOTUS is strong, accomplished, and has a lot more class than the women who bully her.”  Yvette said, “I stand by every word I said.  My mom taught me that respect is earned.  And thankfully we live in a nation – at least for now – where I don’t have to bow down to dear leader or his third wife.”  She added, “My views are my own.  And I own every one.”

Ronaldo Rape

Cristiano Ronaldo is being brought to court over claims that he raped a woman in Las Vegas in 2009.  Kathryn Mayorga says she was assaulted by the hunky footballer in 2009.  They met in a Las Vegas club and then he brought her to a penthouse suite where the alleged assault occurred.  At the time, Mayorga went to the police but refused to name her assailant.  Later she revised her statement and pressed charges against Ronaldo.  Even later, she dropped the case after allegedly receiving $375K.  However, in this #MeToo climate, she’s again changed her mind.  Alas, to reopen the case also means turning over settlement documents, including a non-disclosure agreement.  By the way, it’s worth mentioning that this is not Ronaldo’s first rape allegation.  Back in 2005, a woman in a London hotel claimed she had been raped, but that case was closed by Scotland Yard over insufficient evidence.

McCormack’s Honored

In addition to many fabulous things I have on my upcoming agenda (including my virgin excursion to New Orleans – and for Halloween, no less), I am thrilled to be attending the Point Foundation’s Gala on October 13th.  As I’ve told you many times in the past, this is one of my favorite non-profits.  Point supplies scholarships to LGBTQ (and probably other letters of the alphabet) kids to attend college – and most of these kids have been thrown out by their families because they’re gay!  At the upcoming gala, Eric McCormack is being honored with the Impact Reward, and there will be a performance by Leona Lewis.  Check them out at PointFoundation.org.

QEII’s Gay Footman

Britain’s Royal Family is always good for some scandal.  This week, we hear one of Queen Elizabeth’s gay footmen has quit.  First, I have no idea how many footmen QEII has – I mean, she’s only got two feet!  Be that as it may, the gay footman (as if there’s only one gay footman) quit because he was told by the Royal Household management that he needed to “tone down the gayness”!  Girl, he’s the Queen’s footman – it doesn’t get gayer than that!  As it happens, Ollie Roberts is not only the Queen’s first openly gay footman, he was her personal footman.  Apparently the 21-year-old Ollie is quite active on social media and has given interviews to lots of gay press.  He was accused of “courting publicity” and demoted to just being a regular footman – which is ultimately why he quit.  Unless he was taking selfies with Lizzie’s feet or wearing open-toed shoes, I say leave him be.

Cher’s Home Raided

Moments after I landed at LAX, the police raided Cher’s Malibu estate!  Although the Dancing Queen was not in residence, the fuzz weren’t looking for her – they wanted her assistant’s nephew.  Allegedly, said 23-year-old lad is accused of supplying narcotics to someone who had a drug overdose.  My God, hasn’t Cher suffered enough?

Batman’s Bat Pole

Our Ask Billy question comes from Henry in Rhode Island: “Did you hear about Batman’s penis being in the latest comic?  I looked online and I couldn’t find it – did I miss it?”

Last week, Batman: Damned #1 was released and created a buzz by including full-frontal nudity – as if a drawing of a penis is a big deal.  People scoured the digital edition and found no Bat penis.  That’s because DC Comics decided to expunge the elusive dick from the online edition, thus making the print version even more valuable.  While that’s something I applaud, it won’t stop me from presenting the prohibited penis on BillyMasters.com.

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When folks are banning a comic cock, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Isn’t it interesting – we had Batman’s penis and Superman speaking to an anti-gay group the same week.  If only Teri Hatcher would do something relevant.  Alas, you won’t find her on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s here each and every week, same Bat time, same Bat website.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before we see Dick Grayson’s Batcave!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Bachelor’s Lesbian Shocker

Last week, The Bachelor made history when two of the female suitors left the competition…with each other!  To clarify, this was on the first season of The Bachelor: Vietnam.  During the rose ceremony, Quoc Trung (the Bachelor) eliminated Minh Thu.  Thu said, “I went into this competition to find love, and I’ve found that love for myself.  But it isn’t with you, it’s with someone else.”  At that point, she went over and hugged another female contestant’s bosom!  She told Truc Nhu, “Come home with me,” at which point Nhu gave the Bachelor his rose back and walked off with Thu!  This lady-loving twist was short-lived.  Within minutes, Nhu came back and said she changed her mind.  You don’t have to read the subtitles to figure out who will be eliminated next week!

Revolving Door at Grey’s

Much is being made of the fact that Grey’s Anatomy has added a gay surgeon to the staff – and just in time for what the series is calling their “Season of Love”.  The character will be played by Alex Landi, and he’s quite a looker from the sexy shirtless pics on BillyMasters.com.

Ellen Pompeo is considering leaving Grey’s Anatomy.  “It’s about time that I mix it up.  I’m definitely looking for a change.”  Ellen, honey, lemme just say two words – Katherine Heigl.  It should be noted that Pompeo is well liked, while Heigl is said to be one of the most loathsome creatures to work with.  Still, I’d look before I leapt.

Kavanaugh – The Gay Angle

I’m sure you were all glued to the Kavanaugh hearings.  I dunno what really happened, but I have serious doubts about somebody writing what he did in his yearbook and then saying he never blacked out from drinking (100 kegs or bust, my ass).  Do you want someone that angry making decisions that affect our lives?  I thought he was gonna have an aneurysm on the stand.  But let’s discuss the gay angle.  You may not have heard, but Brett had two roommates at Yale, and one of them was Kit Winter, who is gay.  Winter describes Kav and his friends as “loud, obnoxious frat boy-like drunks” and claims that during the year they lived together, they never spoke.  That’s not to say they didn’t have any interaction.  Once Winter came home to find a dead pigeon nailed to his bedroom door!  Winter says, “I interpreted it as an act of social hostility/terrorism.  I thought it was a very clear message.  ‘We don’t like you, and we don’t want you here.’”  Maybe someone was just letting him know what they were serving in the caf.  It was definitely a sign – of what, I’m not sure.  I’ll have to re-watch The Godfather.

Babs by a Nose

With all the buzz about Bradley Cooper’s remake of A Star Is Born, many media outlets say that the one film you have to see FIRST is Barbra Streisand’s remake of A Star Is Born.  The 1976 version has been available in the home video market for years.  However, Streisand recently remastered it, added in some deleted scenes, and spruced it up for Netflix.  Well, you didn’t expect her to sit back and let Lady Gaga have a moment, did you?

All About Ernie and Bert

I’d say Sesame Street qualifies as an American treasure.  And I’d place Ernie and Bert near the top of the list of indelible inhabitants.  Every once in a while, people wonder whether the “roommates” are gay or straight.  Former SS writer Mark Saltzman added fuel to the fire.  “I always felt that without a huge agenda, when I was writing Bert and Ernie, they were gay.  I didn’t have any other way to contextualize them.”  It should be noted that the characters were actually created in the original Sesame Street pilot in 1969; Saltzman didn’t start writing for the show until 1984.  The Sesame Workshop issued a statement of their own.  “Sesame Street has always stood for inclusion and acceptance.  It’s a place where people of all cultures and backgrounds are welcome.  Bert and Ernie were created to be best friends, and to teach young children that people can get along with those who are very different from themselves.  They also added “they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation”.  Tell that to Miss Piggy, who constantly lusts after an ambivalent amphibian…Kermit.

Tom Takes On Trump

On All Emmy’s EveTom Arnold got into a scuffle with Mark Burnett.  The former Celebrity Apprentice head honcho is pissed that Arnold has made it his mission to expose Trump in a new (almost unwatchable) Viceland show called, The Hunt for the Trump Tapes with Tom Arnold.  Both men arrived at a pre-Emmys party at the same time.  Arnold claims Burnett attacked him.  Police were called, and Arnold Tweeted: “Mark Burnett just went apeshit & choked me at this huge Emmy Party then he ran away with his porn Pink shirt & missing gold chain.  I’m waiting for LAPD.”  We got an eyewitness account from Alyson Hannigan, who Tweeted, “Walked n2 party behind Tom Arnold and saw him & Mark Burnett get into a fight!  Thought it was a joke until security jumped in.”  Security did indeed step in, spoke to both Arnold and Burnett, and then allowed both men to enter the party.  Burnett’s wife, Roma Downey Jr., also chimed in via Twitter.  “Got this bruise tonight when Tom Arnold tried to ambush my husband Mark and me at a charity event.  Is your TV show worth it Tom?  Please stop.”  Arnold, never one to not fight back, said, “Bullshit.  You lie your crazy husband attacked me you psycho.  I’m filing police report & suing you for defamation.”  Reportedly the fight started when Burnett overheard Arnold bragging to onlookers that he got his hands on Apprentice tapes and passed them along to Ronan Farrow.  I’ll believe that when I see it.

Emmys Wrap Up

America’s Got Talent got a bigger audience than the Emmys
Write your own punch line.  It’s a Jewish holiday
.”  
– 
Perennial awards show scribe Bruce Vilanch’s quip on the ratings for the Emmy Awards.

If you missed the Emmy Awards, you weren’t alone.  Not only were the ratings down 11 percent from last year, they hit an all-time low.  But don’t take these numbers as a waning interest solely in television – ratings for this year’s Oscars telecast were down 19 percent, while the Grammys tanked more than 23 percent.  The decline for a televised awards show about television is also deceptive – the vast majority of nominees were for cable and streaming services, while the show was hosted by Saturday Night Live cast members on NBC.  Relevancy is as hot a topic as diversity, which was the theme of the Emmy’s opening musical number.

Since most of you missed the show, here are some of my highlights.  Jenifer Lewis showed her support for Colin Kaepernick by arriving clad head-to-toe in Nike (and she threw in a high kick on the red carpet just to show those bastards she still could).  After his first nomination 42 years ago, Henry Winkler finally won an Emmy!  I’m not entirely sure Betty White knew where she was, but she managed to pull it off…even though she was dangerously close to exclaiming, “Gladiator!”  RuPaul presented an award with Leslie Jones.  Girl, would it kill you to wear a gown?  Yes, I’m talking to you, Leslie!  As to Ru, congrats on making history by winning Best Host of a Reality Competition Series and snagging Best Reality Competition Series with RuPaul’s Drag Race.  Darren Criss never misses an opportunity to remind us he’s straight.  I LOVED the “Reparation Emmys” sketch.  Why is it that Tina Fey always looks as comfortable walking in a dress as Jodie Foster or Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg?  Taraji, you work that train!  Sandra Oh is still trying to explain to her mother that she didn’t win (but as she said, “It’s an honor just to be Asian”).  I’m still not convinced Tim Gunn isn’t being held hostage by Heidi Klum and possibly the Symbionese Liberation Army.  Lastly, that was an awfully chaste kiss between Ricky Martin and his hubby.

Halloween in New Orleans

Can you imagine a better place to spend Halloween than in New Orleans?  That’s what I thought when I was invited to a wedding in that city which takes place the weekend before.  The timing is fortuitous – turns out that is when the big gay festivities take place.  Halloween New Orleans Carnival serves two major purposes – to celebrate the holiday and to raise money for a worthy cause.  All proceeds benefit Project Lazarus, assisted living for people with HIV/AIDS.  The weekend kicks off with the Lazarus Ball on Friday night, the Main Event (subtitled Sideshow) on Saturday, and Funhouse, their Sunday pier dance.  Needless to say, the event attracts people from all over the world and I am told is one of the most spectacular events on the circuit.  Tickets are available now at discounted rates, so grab them up at TogetherWeNola.com/Halloween.

Another Star Goes Nude

Our brief Ask Billy question is more of a statement from one of our esteemed proofers.  Nate in Key West says, “Did you see Steve Howey on the season premiere of Shameless?  WOW – he should always be naked.”

Howey does enjoy his nudity – and, thankfully, Shameless does too!  Seems to me that during his hiatus, Steve did nothing but work out – he clearly isn’t eating!  During the scene in question, he says he’s so hard, he can hold up a bath towel without his hands.  You can see how he does it on BillyMasters.com.

Garrett To Headline Gay Days Anaheim

In a few weeks, tens of thousands of gays will descend on Anaheim.  It’s once again time for Gay Days Anaheim.  The annual event (which I helped found) takes place October 5-7, Columbus Day weekend.  There are oodles of special performers sprinkled throughout the weekend, including Garrett Clayton headlining the Saturday night Kingdom dance party!  Check out the full schedule at GayDaysAnahein.com.

Rippon and Bomer Team Up

We’re hearing about more guest stars for the upcoming season of Will & Grace.  David Schwimmer is in about five episodes as Grace’s boyfriend.  Chelsea Handler turns up as a power lesbian (so much for the “only-gay-people-can-play-gay-roles” argument).  Jon Cryer is in a Jack/Karen storyline.  Thank God Minnie Driver returns as Karen’s nemesis Lorraine Finster.  In the same episode, we’re told Adam Rippon makes a cameo as himself (I’m thinking he could be a potential date for Jack – after all, he already slept with Rudy Galindo).  And in the biggest news, Will gets a boyfriend – Matt Bomer.  Sigh, the hot gays always hook up with straight guys.

The Beatles Came Together

Over these past 23 years, I’ve often reported that most boys have their first sexual experience with another boy.  This usually takes the form of masturbation or some other sort of experimentation, and has no correlation to the boys growing up gay or straight.  Obviously this is anecdotal information, and we got a new anecdote to add to the collection from Paul McCartney.  According to Macca, he and John Lennon once partook in what is commonly referred to as a “circle jerk”.  “What it was,” he says, “was over at John’s house, and it was just a group of us.  And instead of just getting roaring drunk and partying – I don’t even know if we were staying over or anything – we were all just in these chairs, and the lights were out, and somebody started masturbating, so we all did.”  I have two questions: 1) if the lights were out, how does he know the others were really masturbating, and B) Who cleaned up?

Alex Jones – Ladies Man

Elsewhere on the air, kooky Alex Jones is under fire.  It seems that he had his phone in hand while doing his radio show, which also broadcasts live-streaming video.  According to an eagle-eyed viewer, while Alex was promoting his line of health and wellness products, his phone was on a page titled, “Naughty tbabe Marissa Mi”, a reference to Marissa Minx, an Australian transgender porn actress.  So, is Alex into tranny prossies?  But, wait – Alex can explain this all away as only he can.  And he did it on live radio, so there’s no question what he said.  “I saw a couple of news articles about that, it’s ridiculous.  I was, like, looking for some reporter we’re trying to hire today and punched in some number and porn popped up on my phone.  Everybody has had porn pop up on their phone hundreds of times.  I probably had porn menus pop up 500 times on my phone.  There’s two types of people: people who look at porn and people who lie about it.  But I wasn’t looking at porn on my phone.  I don’t take phones on air that I look at porn on.  Thank you for your call.”  All I got out of that is that he sometimes enjoys tranny porn on his phone – but not necessarily while working.

Hedwig Hits Wigstock

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?  In an uncharacteristically charitable move, I will share the good news first.  Wigstock 2.HO was a HUGE success.  While I personally believe the show was stolen by the legendary Lypsinka, one must give credit where credit is due – Neil Patrick Harris slipped back into Hedwig’s pumps effortlessly and put on a fantastic set, totally earning all plaudits he received for his interpretation.  And earlier in the day, he, David and their kids manned the wig cannons and shot wigs out to the capacity crowd – which was super cool.  That said (here comes that bad news), during an appearance on SiriusXM a few days before Wigstock, he pissed off quite a few people with what he felt was the downside of playing Hedwig.  “The limping of the wrists, the cocking of the hip, the tits out and the ass out, and sort of walking with a sway and sort of the overt femininity of the characterization that I had, that was hard to get into my whole body without feeling like I was mocking it initially.  I didn’t want to feel like I was pretending.”  When asked if the transformation made him feel less masculine, NPH said, “for sure”.  At that point, Mrs. NPH (David Burtka) felt compelled to chime in, “I like manly guys.”  Yeah, because when I think of the epitome of masculinity, my mind immediately thinks of Neil Patrick Harris.  Bitch, please.  Be that as it may, I will post Lypsinka’s and Hedwig’s numbers on BillyMasters.com.

Is Klum Keeping Tim Hostage

With all the drama going on with Harvey Weinstein, it’s no surprise that Project Runway was lost in limbo.  While the show will be returning to its original home, Bravo (after 11 seasons on Lifetime), there will be a major change – no Heidi and no Tim.  Quelle horreur!  “After 16 incredible seasons, I am saying ‘Auf Wiedersehen’ to Project Runway, a show that I was honored to host and help create,” says the ever-modest Klum.  She was less sad to announce she’s starting her own competition fashion show on Amazon and that she’s poached Tim Gunn as her sidekick.  I guess that means more Milano and Mizrahi.  What’s getting lost in the shuffle is that Zac Posen simply took himself out of the equation.

The Virgin Bachelor’s Secret

When I say I think someone is gay, I mean it as the highest compliment I can give someone – well, when that someone is male.  Gone are the days when being called gay means a limp-wristed, wimpy wuss.  When women want to give a man the ultimate compliment, they say he’s “gay porn hot”…which I think says it all.  So when I say that I believe Colton (the virgin) on The Bachelor will come out sometime during his season in the hot seat, I don’t mean that as a slam.  I also don’t believe he’s lying or that there’s any duplicity in him.  I simply don’t think he knows – at least not completely.  He got awfully close when he told Kevin how “it” wasn’t there with Tia.  “What kills me the most is I’ve done that my whole life too.  I make other people happy.  My whole life, all I want to do is please people.  And the only person I’m hurting is myself by staying in things.  I feel like even with football, I kept playing because that’s what people knew me for.  And that’s what my family wanted.  And now I’m staying in this because it makes somebody else happy.  That’s not right.”  Sounds like the door’s creaking open.

When he left Bachelor in Paradise in inconsolable tears, Colton gave a curious exit interview.  He never said, “When will I find the right girl?  Why wasn’t Tia the right woman for me?”  He said, “Everybody’s got their person out there.  I wish I could have been the one to end up with her.  It wasn’t there.  I just wasn’t the person for her – I wasn’t the one she deserves.   I just honestly feel there’s something wrong with me, ‘cause I’ve never wanted something as bad as I wanted it to work.   I want somebody I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with.  I really did give it my all, I really did try.  I don’t deserve her.  I’m broken.”  You’re not broken…you’re just…well, you know what I think.

Cut Go-Go Boys

Speaking of shirtless hunks, the go-go boys at the legendary Abbey in West Hollywood were asked by head honcho Dave Cooley to take a 25-percent cut on their nightly pay.  The “dancers” (and I use this term loosely) are paid $100 for four one-hour shifts.  Before going on, let me say that back in the ‘90s when I hosted my immensely popular all-male revues in New England, I paid my dancers $100 – and all they had to do was dance to a couple songs.  Apparently inflation hasn’t worked its way into g-strings.  Anyhoo, Cooley asked his dancers to do one of the shifts for free – which is how it goes down to $75.  He also told them to stop socializing with customers – who tip generously (which is how a dancer can survive on a salary of $100).  One dancer, Michael Benjamin Volkar (who goes by the name Teddy Bear), went public.  After sharing the facts, he added this: “The pay cut also came with a long message reminding every dancer that they are replaceable and that they should be dancing even harder and can be fired at any moment.”  Well, that last part is true – you can’t throw a stone in WeHo without hitting someone who could be a hot go-go boy.  In fact, I dare you – go outside and throw a stone and you see what you hit.  We hear the proposed pay cut is not going into effect, but that’s a bit too late for Volkar, who has been fired.

More Big Brother Drama

This leads perfectly into a show I don’t watch – Big Brother.  Apparently JC Mounduix (the gay little person who go-go dances) is involved in yet another scandal.  According to eagle-eyed watchers of the 24/7 feed, he was seen rubbing a sleeping Tyler’s arms and kissing his armpits.  JC claims he was trying to comfort Tyler, who was having nightmares.  Many called for his removal from the show.  The producers, clearly trying to avoid another ice cream scooper incident, were quick to respond.  “We spoke with all three of the houseguests separately in detail about the incidents.  Tyler and Haleigh explained to the producers that they in no way felt threatened, unsafe or sexually harassed.”  For the time being, JC (and the entire Moonves family) can keep their jobs!

John McCain and the Candy

The next day, we had John McCain’s funeral – more notable for people who were not there (or purposely banned) than for those who were.  I will say it did my heart good to see Laura Bush hand Michelle Obama a piece of candy – talk about reaching across the aisle!  However, one gesture left me a bit cold.  Is it acceptable in the Episcopal tradition for a reverend to take a selfie?  First, do reverends typically carry their cell phone during a service, let alone a funeral?  Secondly, isn’t it at least a little rude to ask George W. for a selfie when Obama is standing right next to you?  Reminds me of when I ran into Joanna Cassidy at the Emmys, but I’ll save that for another time.

Farewell to The Queen

“When I saw Ariana Grande on the program, I thought that was something at Taco Bell!  
– 
Bishop Charles H. Ellis, who presided over Aretha Franklin’s funeral, shares his thoughts on Miss Grande after her
performance.  What does it say about me that I had the same thought?  Meet you at the Taco Bell, Bishop.

ATTENTION ALL MEDIA OUTLETS:  Can you please get your shit together?  I hate to start off like this, but it’s really getting out of control.  First, Fox News used a photo of Patti LaBelle in their tribute to Aretha Franklin.  And then, the BBC used a photo of Jenifer Lewis!!!  Y’all, Jenifer’s like a generation younger than Aretha.  Come on – all black people do not look alike.  Next you’ll say all gay people look alike – and I swear to you THAT’S not true.

The confusion stemmed from Jenifer’s performance at the Aretha Tribute Concert that took place on the eve of the funeral.  Accompanied by the prodigious Marc Shaiman, Lewis sang a self-penned composition, “Thank You, Aretha”.  Standing under the illuminated “Aretha” sign, the Brits simply got confused…as they are wont to do.  But there was no confusing Jen’s sentiment, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

Prior to Jenifer, people watching the concert at home saw Patti LaBelle sing a teary rendition of “You Are My Friend”.  Except, she didn’t.  Sure, she sang it…at a concert at the Dell Music Center in Philadelphia a week earlier.  They simply filmed it and rolled it into the tribute concert, and most of the home viewers were none the wiser.  That’s what I’m here for.

Then there was the funeral.  Thank God I was watching from home.  I was able to put it on pause, go out to eat, watch a little more, take a nap, etc.  Poor Bill Clinton looked like he was gonna pass out.  Many people commented on Jesse Jackson’s distressed appearance.  In case you don’t know, late last year he announced that he’s been diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  So, I attribute it to that.  Some of the people who didn’t come, sent flowers.  Folks like Barbra Streisand, Tony Bennett, Sir Elton John, Mariah Carey, and Diane Ross all sent enormous tributes. 

Me-oh-my-oh – that was SOME hat on Miss Cicely Tyson!  For much of the service, I wasn’t even sure there was someone under it!  But, God love her, the 91-year-old legend launched into a freewheeling adaptation of Paul Laurence Dunbar’s When Malindy Sings, rechristened, When Aretha Sings.  Then there was Chaka Khan, who I thought was wearing a choir robe…or two.  In case you were wondering, her fan had dual purpose – it not only kept her cool, but also had the lyrics to “Going Up Yonder” printed on the back!  A very tasteful and appropriate Jennifer Hudson paid tribute to Aretha with “Amazing Grace”, further cementing her position as Franklin’s appointed portrayer for the proposed biopic.  Fantasia kicked off her shoes and stalked the stage with “Bridge Over Troubled Water”.  Stevie Wonder was the penultimate act, with “As”, backed by Shirley Murdock, Dottie Peoples, Angie Stone, and, wait, once again, Miss Jenifer Lewis wailing “Always”.  After that, Jennifer Holliday ended the ceremony with “Climbing Higher Mountains” as the casket was taken out of the church.

I believe the whole “show” (for lack of a better term) was stolen by Gladys Knight, who sang rings around everyone with “You’ll Never Walk Alone” and “Bridge Over Troubled Water” (you can never hear that enough times).  But she inadvertently caused quite a bit of gossip.  On her way into the funeral, she revealed that she met with Aretha about a year earlier.  Gladys said, “At that time, we shared the fact that we had the same disease.”  So, it wasn’t a stretch that most people thought Knight revealed she too has pancreatic cancer (she does look quite thin).  In a statement she released later that day, she said, “I’d like to clarify that Aretha and I discussed both of us having cancer, mine was stage 1 breast cancer and hers was pancreatic.  Due to early detection, I am cancer-free and grateful for that.”  She also chastised the media for spending time gossiping about her – especially on a day where we should be “celebrating Aretha’s life and massive contributions to our world.”

There was a much more unexpected tribute to Aretha that took place across the pond.  Perhaps to make up for the BBC’s little faux pas, Queen Elizabeth personally instructed the Royal Guards to play “Respect” during the traditional changing of the guards.  As luck would have it, the changing of the guard took place at the same time the funeral was going on.  Of course, it was pretty easy to coincide with a funeral that was 10 HOURS LONG!  Now if only QEII came out dancing to it – or at the very least sent Meghan Markle to do the honors!

WEHT Taylor’s Abs

Our Ask Billy question comes from Jarrod in Milwaukee.  “What ever happened to Taylor Lautner?  It seemed like he was gonna be the next big thing, but then nothing happened.  Does he still act?”

Did he ever?  I mean “act”?  I don’t think anyone thought Taylor would be the next great thespian.  Did anyone anxiously await the Taylor Lautner Hamlet?  But, hot?  Yes – in that way that so many teenage boys are.  Glamour listed him as second on their list of The 50 Sexiest Men of 2010.  Of course, in 2010 Lautner was all of 18 – to paraphrase Britney, not a boy, not yet a man.  That same year, Men’s Health even detailed his workout regime – as if a teenage boy’s regime was relevant to an adult male (but the photos were good).  If one wants proof of that, check out the recent pics of Lautner cavorting on the beach during some of his seemingly endless free time.  If you ask me, the visibility of abs are in direct proportion with his career.  See for yourself at BillyMasters.com

colorbar1

When we’re spotlighting the Twilight of 2010’s second sexiest man, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  We ran so long, I barely have time to remind you to check out www.BillyMasters.com – the irreverent site that’s even popular with reverends.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before the fat lady sings.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Wigstock’s Back

Neil Patrick Harris is dipping his toes back into the transgender world.  He will once again be performing as Hedwig (star of the eponymous Hedwig and the Angry Inch) as part of the revival of Wigstock, the all-day drag event in NYC.  This will be the first full-length Wigstock since 2001, and it’s all thanks to a special dream team.  Executive producers of the event are Lady Bunny, NPH and hubby David Burtka, Bruce Cohen, Jason Weinberg, and Pride MediaThe Gay Men’s Health Crisis is the festival’s nonprofit partner.  The event takes place on September 1st on the Rooftop at Pier 17 in NYC.  The lineup sounds like a cavalcade of drag, from Lypsinka and Peppermint, to Alex Newell, Justin Vivian Bond, Varla Jean Merman, and Joey Arias, to Amanda Lepore, Jackie Beat, Heklina, Bianca Del Rio, Willam, Candis Cayne, and more.  You can get more info at Out.com/Wigstock.  

Clayton Comes Out

The big gay news this week was that Garrett Clayton finally spoke publicly about being gay – apropos of his new film, Reach, in which he plays a suicidal high school student.  “Reach deals with some very serious and timely topics that have affected me personally, and have likely influenced many of your lives as well.”  He also said he wanted to post this news on Instagram “instead of in some random magazine or online article – because you are the ones that have been rooting for me and following me on my professional and personal journey in life.”

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