{"id":2171,"date":"2016-08-29T04:43:47","date_gmt":"2016-08-29T11:43:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=2171"},"modified":"2016-08-29T04:43:47","modified_gmt":"2016-08-29T11:43:47","slug":"lochtes-damage-control","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2016\/08\/29\/lochtes-damage-control\/","title":{"rendered":"Lochte&#8217;s Damage Control"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been an up-and-down couple of weeks for <strong>Ryan Lochte<\/strong>.\u00a0 I know this will shock you, but I feel sorry for him.\u00a0 Yes, he lied to his mom to cover up a wild night out, she blabbed to the press, and then he had to stand by the story publicly.\u00a0 I&#8217;m not excusing him, but it&#8217;s not like he was <strong>Tonya Harding <\/strong>handing someone a crowbar!\u00a0 A far greater crime was that terrible hair at the <em>Olympics <\/em>&#8211; someone ought to prosecute him for that.\u00a0 But, no, the Brazilian authorities have summoned him back to Rio de Janeiro to face charges of false report of robbery.\u00a0 Can&#8217;t he just send a check?\u00a0 Hasn&#8217;t he been through enough?<\/p>\n<p>In a smart move, Lochte has signed on to compete on the new season of <strong><em>Dancing with the Stars<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 Unless he dances like <strong>Geraldo Rivera<\/strong>, he should be safe for a few weeks and maybe garner a bit of public support.\u00a0 And he certainly needs a paycheck, since his four endorsement deals have fallen through.\u00a0 But there&#8217;s some good news &#8211; Ryan has been signed as spokesperson for my cough drops of choice &#8211; <em>Pine Bros<\/em>. (you know, those ones that are so sticky, they will pull the crowns out of your mouth).\u00a0 The cough drop company said, &#8220;Just as <em>Pine Bros<\/em>. is forgiving to your throat, the company asks the public for a little forgiveness for an American swimming legend&#8221;.\u00a0 But I&#8217;ve come up with a better slogan &#8211; Coat your throat with Ryan Lochte and <em>Pine Bros<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been an up-and-down couple of weeks for Ryan Lochte.\u00a0 I know this will shock you, but I feel sorry for him.\u00a0 Yes, he lied to his mom to cover up a wild night out, she blabbed to the press, and then he had to stand by the story publicly.\u00a0 I&#8217;m not excusing him, but<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2171"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2171\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2176,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2171\/revisions\/2176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}