{"id":2214,"date":"2016-09-12T04:45:01","date_gmt":"2016-09-12T11:45:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=2214"},"modified":"2016-09-12T04:45:01","modified_gmt":"2016-09-12T11:45:01","slug":"prince-charming-is-less-than-honest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2016\/09\/12\/prince-charming-is-less-than-honest\/","title":{"rendered":"Prince Charming is less than honest"},"content":{"rendered":"

I almost hate to write more about Finding Prince Charming<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 The gay bachelor show just premiered and, well, there’s no easy way to say it – people hated it.\u00a0 But I went into it extremely open – kinda like so many men went into the star, Robert Sepulveda<\/strong>.\u00a0 The show is supposed to be like The Bachelor<\/em><\/strong>, but it’s more like Flavor of Love<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 It just has a cheap, trashy quality about it.\u00a0 It’s badly produced, badly directed, badly cast, and badly executed.\u00a0 Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln<\/strong>, how did you like the play?\u00a0 Writer Dan Savage <\/strong>published some tips on how to improve the show – but unlike my tips, nowhere on his list are the words “mass suicide” or Kool-Aid<\/em>!<\/p>\n

Lance Bass <\/strong>is a genial-enough host, but he’s had no real-world experience dating as a private person…or, for that matter, as an openly gay person.\u00a0 And he has no idea how average gay men date.\u00a0 As to Sepulveda, he has what I like to call a “hooker mentality”.\u00a0 A good hooker finds out what someone wants and gives it to them.\u00a0 There’s nothing particularly genuine or engaging about him.\u00a0 He’s so intent on wanting everyone to like him that he’s constantly in salesman mode.\u00a0 And when he’s not, he’s like some medicated Stepford <\/strong>wife.\u00a0 I suppose if you want that in a spousal equivalent, he’s your guy…until you get the bill!\u00a0 As for the contestants, they’re so preoccupied with how they will be perceived that none of them is showing any personality – with the exception of the flamboyant Robby<\/strong>, who clearly has his eyes on life after the show.\u00a0 The hairdresser from Provincetown previously appeared on Tabatha’s Salon Takeover<\/em><\/strong> where he talked endlessly about chignons – although he had a devil of a time actually doing one.\u00a0 He’s fetching, feisty, fun, and far too fabulous to end up with Sepulveda.<\/p>\n

Rather than giving out a rose, this suitor gives out a black tie – thus, calling the eliminations “black tie affairs”, which is just dumb.\u00a0 Robert asks each contestant to “please step forward” – sometimes he does it in a pseudo-butch way by saying “Get up here”.\u00a0 They make some awkward, banal chit-chat, and then he asks, “Will you wear this tie?”\u00a0 Who writes this stuff?\u00a0 Robert then has to gingerly put the tie over the contestants’ hair without mussing it, and tighten it without choking them.\u00a0 And when he does eliminate someone (“Tonight, you’re not gonna get a tie”), sometimes there’s no hug, no handshake, not even a walk to the car.\u00a0 It’s very “Get out” – kinda like a trick who spent the night and doesn’t take a hint.\u00a0 Methinks he’s had loads of practice.<\/p>\n

Speaking of loads, let me take issue with something Sepulveda said once his colorful past as an escort was exposed – because, unlike Matt Lauer<\/strong>, I fact-check.\u00a0 “There are stories that I did porn.\u00a0 I never did porn.\u00a0 There is a video circulating out there that I shot privately and sent to an ex-boyfriend.\u00a0 It feels so violating that someone would take something so private and share it with the world.\u00a0 I want to work to make sure there are laws protecting people from similar situations.\u00a0 It’s just not right.”\u00a0 Is he talking about the video of him jerking off while standing?\u00a0 Or the video of inserting a shampoo bottle into his anus? \u00a0Maybe it’s\u00a0the one of him playing with a 14-inch dildo.\u00a0 Come to think of it, he’s probably talking about the video of him blindfolded while drinking out of a used condom – because that’s clearly the most romantic one.\u00a0 But perhaps it’s the previous video with him opening an envelope from a “client” who sent him the condom (and you can see them all for yourself on BillyMasters.com<\/a><\/strong>).\u00a0 He also says he became an escort because “the small furniture store I was working at suddenly went out of business.\u00a0 I didn’t know how I was going to pay rent or my tuition or buy food.” \u00a0So, instead of getting a job at Burger King <\/em>where customers can have it their way, he decided to escort and use the same slogan.\u00a0 I’m not condemning him – but don’t make it like the only option you had was to be a $250-an-hour hooker.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I almost hate to write more about Finding Prince Charming.\u00a0 The gay bachelor show just premiered and, well, there’s no easy way to say it – people hated it.\u00a0 But I went into it extremely open – kinda like so many men went into the star, Robert Sepulveda.\u00a0 The show is supposed to be like<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2214"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2214\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2215,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2214\/revisions\/2215"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}