{"id":3294,"date":"2017-11-06T03:32:55","date_gmt":"2017-11-06T11:32:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=3294"},"modified":"2017-11-06T03:32:55","modified_gmt":"2017-11-06T11:32:55","slug":"airplane-hijinx","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2017\/11\/06\/airplane-hijinx\/","title":{"rendered":"Airplane Hijinx"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently flew non-stop from Miami back to Los Angeles for the obscene amount of $63.  For this bargain fare, you don’t expect much – I’m surprised I even got a seat!  But since I’m a loyal American Airlines <\/em>flyer, I was given a window seat near the front of the plane.  Surprisingly, the two seats next to me were empty – until the plane doors shut.  Then, a lady of indeterminate age plopped into the aisle seat.  “I hope you don’t mind, hon.”  Since I had work to do, I didn’t care.  She quickly downed a double vodka on the rocks, put on a sleeping mask, and passed out.  I was so engrossed with my work, it was a couple of hours before I noticed she had taken off her sweatshirt.  Yes, the woman next to me was clad in only a black bra!  And, if I’m not mistaken, I could also glimpse a hint of areola.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile across the pond, Madonna <\/strong>made headlines by allegedly flying coach from London to Lisbon.  Well, that’s what we all heard, right?  We saw the photo – it must be true.  But I was struck by something interesting – Madge is in the window seat, someone is in the aisle seat, and the middle seat is empty.  And she’s in the bulkhead.  Having traveled extensively across the continent, I know that many smaller airlines consider “premium” to be up by the front with an empty middle seat.  Sure enough, we found out that Air Portugal <\/em>short-haul flights are on planes where all of the seats are identical, but with two classes of service.  Their “Executive” section is the front seats with an empty middle seat – and you get a full meal.  So for all the chatter about Madonna not being a Material Girl<\/em>, she paid at least $500 for a seat a few rows closer to the front than people who paid less than $100.  So, to recap, I paid far less to go much farther than Madonna.  At least we both kept our tops on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently flew non-stop from Miami back to Los Angeles for the obscene amount of $63.  For this bargain fare, you don’t expect much – I’m surprised I even got a seat!  But since I’m a loyal American Airlines flyer, I was given a window seat near the front of the plane.  Surprisingly, the two seats next<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3294","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3294","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3294"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3294\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3303,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3294\/revisions\/3303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3294"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3294"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}