{"id":64702,"date":"2021-07-25T23:21:35","date_gmt":"2021-07-26T06:21:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=64702"},"modified":"2021-07-25T23:21:35","modified_gmt":"2021-07-26T06:21:35","slug":"ogling-olympians","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2021\/07\/25\/ogling-olympians\/","title":{"rendered":"Ogling Olympians"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Alas, I have not been able to muster up much enthusiasm for the <strong><em>Summer Olympic Games<\/em><\/strong>.&nbsp; And I blame <em>McDonald\u2019s<\/em>.&nbsp; Way back during the 1984 Los Angeles Games, McDonald\u2019s had <em>Olympic Game Cards<\/em>.&nbsp; With every purchase, you\u2019d get a card which would list an event \u2013 often something like the <em>Hammer Throw<\/em>, which only excites the Nords.&nbsp; If the USA won the Gold Medal for the event on your card, you could redeem it for a free Big Mac.&nbsp; If we won the Silver, you got a large order of fries.&nbsp; And if we won the Bronze, you got a medium soda.&nbsp; And if we swept all of the medals, you got a full meal!&nbsp; Oh, how I long for the 1984 Olympics \u2013 and my 28-inch waistline.<\/p>\n<p>Before the <em>Tokyo Olympics <\/em>even began, there was already controversy\u2026and a new star.&nbsp; The controversy came from reports that the beds in the <em>Olympic Village <\/em>were made of recycled materials and were \u201canti-sex\u201d.&nbsp; The star came in the form of Irish gymnast <strong>Rhys McClenaghan<\/strong>, who decided to test the beds by jumping up and down on one.&nbsp; He proved that they are mighty sturdy, and made me wanna risk being thrown out of the <em>Olympic Village<\/em>\u2026again.&nbsp; I mean, that ban must have been lifted by now.&nbsp; It\u2019s been a long time since Lillehammer.<\/p>\n<p>The <em>Opening Ceremonies <\/em>in an empty stadium reminded me of the sound of one hand clapping.&nbsp; If a Tongan flag bearer is shirtless and oiled up and nobody is there to ogle him, does it even matter?&nbsp; It probably mattered to <strong>Mike Pence<\/strong>, who I\u2019m sure was watching and enjoyed seeing the slightly expanded <strong>Pita Taufatofua <\/strong>once again.&nbsp; Hopefully Mother was around to reap the benefits.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Alas, I have not been able to muster up much enthusiasm for the Summer Olympic Games.&nbsp; And I blame McDonald\u2019s.&nbsp; Way back during the 1984 Los Angeles Games, McDonald\u2019s had Olympic Game Cards.&nbsp; With every purchase, you\u2019d get a card which would list an event \u2013 often something like the Hammer Throw, which only excites<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-64702","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64702","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=64702"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64702\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":64703,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64702\/revisions\/64703"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=64702"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=64702"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=64702"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}