{"id":64706,"date":"2021-07-25T23:25:20","date_gmt":"2021-07-26T06:25:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=64706"},"modified":"2021-07-25T23:25:20","modified_gmt":"2021-07-26T06:25:20","slug":"double-digit-danish-dick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2021\/07\/25\/double-digit-danish-dick\/","title":{"rendered":"Double Digit Danish Dick"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Our <strong><em>Ask Billy<\/em><\/strong> question made me sit up and take notice.&nbsp; <strong>Reggie <\/strong>in Tulsa writes, <em>\u201cI don\u2019t know if you watch <strong>John Oliver<\/strong>, but he showed clips of a foreign kiddie show about a man with a giant penis.&nbsp; What???\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t watch John Oliver with any regularity, so I missed this segment.&nbsp; However, my crack research team (some of whom are actually on crack) found the show.&nbsp; <strong><em>John Dillermand<\/em><\/strong>\u201d is indeed a Danish children\u2019s show.&nbsp; Or a mini-show.&nbsp; The first season consisted of 13 five-minute episodes.&nbsp; Apparently \u201cdiller\u201d is what the Danes call a penis.&nbsp; So the show is actually called \u201cJohn Penisman\u201d.&nbsp; John is a middle-aged man who is always in a red-and-white full-length bathing costume \u2013 like they wore in the 20s.&nbsp; He has a penis that can extend long enough to tame a lion, or act as a helicopter propeller, or use as a pogo stick.&nbsp; But sometimes the penis gets itself in trouble \u2013 I suppose that\u2019s where the song \u201cMy Penis Has a Mind of Its Own\u201d comes from.&nbsp; The show debuted earlier this year and is geared toward four- to eight-year-old children!&nbsp; Not only has there not been a single complaint \u2013 it\u2019s gone viral.&nbsp; It has been praised because it shows a penis in a positive light \u2013 and when was the last time something like that happened?&nbsp; I\u2019ll post clips of the unclipped penis on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.BillyMasters.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><u>BillyMasters.com<\/u><\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/colorbar1.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-568\" src=\"http:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/colorbar1.gif\" alt=\"colorbar1\" width=\"500\" height=\"1\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>When a penis can be used for good, it\u2019s definitely time to end yet another column.&nbsp; This got me thinking \u2013 it\u2019s high time the <em>Olympics <\/em>considered adding some sort of penis-centric activity to their Games.&nbsp; I mean, if you can roll a hula hoop and wave a stick with a string on the end and call that an event, anything is possible.&nbsp; While I figure out who to call about this, you can take a gander at a plethora of penii at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/\">www.BillyMasters.com<\/a><\/strong> \u2013 the site that is always thinking outside the box.&nbsp; If you have a question, dash it off to <strong><a href=\"mailto:Billy@BillyMasters.com\">Billy@BillyMasters.com<\/a><\/strong>, and I promise to get back to you before John Dillermand competes in the Olympics as a pole vaulter \u2013 with his own pole!&nbsp; So, until next time, remember, one man\u2019s filth is another man\u2019s bible.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our Ask Billy question made me sit up and take notice.&nbsp; Reggie in Tulsa writes, \u201cI don\u2019t know if you watch John Oliver, but he showed clips of a foreign kiddie show about a man with a giant penis.&nbsp; What???\u201d I don\u2019t watch John Oliver with any regularity, so I missed this segment.&nbsp; However, my<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-64706","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64706","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=64706"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64706\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":64707,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64706\/revisions\/64707"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=64706"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=64706"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=64706"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}