{"id":90926,"date":"2022-11-20T16:49:22","date_gmt":"2022-11-21T00:49:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=90926"},"modified":"2022-11-20T16:49:22","modified_gmt":"2022-11-21T00:49:22","slug":"teens-attack-grande","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2022\/11\/20\/teens-attack-grande\/","title":{"rendered":"Teens Attack Grande"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI will be dating Pete Davidson <\/strong>next.\u201d<\/em><\/span>
\n\u2013 <\/em>Dionne Warwick <\/strong>Tweets <\/em>she\u2019ll be the next woman in Davidson\u2019s long list of ex-paramours. 
\nDavidson\u2019s former SNL <\/em>co-star Jay Pharoah <\/strong>says Pete told him the secret of his success. 
\n\u201cBro, it\u2019s like nine inches.\u201d  I don\u2019t know what\u2019s more shocking \u2013 the alleged size,
\nor that we finally found someone who uses the term \u201cBro”!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think anyone will be surprised to hear that I had no interest in purchasing Taylor Swift <\/strong>tickets.  In fact, I\u2019d swiftly change the channel if I saw her on my television!  But, I do have nieces, and they wanted to see Swifty.  So, being a good guncle, I gave them my Citibank <\/em>card so that they could access the advance sale.  Several frustrating hours on Ticketmaster <\/em>only led to disappointment.  And, Taylor felt their pain.  \u201cWell, it goes without saying that I\u2019m extremely protective of my fans,\u201d she said, unconvincingly.  \u201cI\u2019m not going to make excuses for anyone\u2026\u201d she said, before making numerous excuses.  \u201cIt\u2019s truly amazing that 2.4 million people got tickets, but it really pisses me off that a lot of them feel like they went through several bear attacks to get them.\u201d  I thought the only people who felt like they went through bear attacks for Taylor Swift are people who\u2019ve dated her!<\/p>\n

\"colorbar1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Just a few hours before I began writing this week\u2019s column, I was bragging that I have never once been accosted on the street \u2013 despite stumbling home in the wee small hours of the morning down deserted thruways in numerous large and small cities around the world.  Then I heard about Frankie Grande<\/strong>\u2019s harrowing experience in the Big Apple<\/em>.  He was attacked by two teenagers brandishing what turned out to be a fake gun.  He was reportedly strolling down Eighth Avenue when they punched him in the back of the head and stole his Louis Vuitton <\/em>handbag.  Well, there you have it \u2013 I am rarely strolling, and almost never with a handbag.  Not that I\u2019m making fun of him \u2013 nobody deserves to be assaulted or mugged.  That it happened around dusk on a Wednesday afternoon near Times Square<\/em> is curious, to say the least.  The assailants were later apprehended when they attempted to use Frankie\u2019s credit card at an arcade.  Turns out, they are 13 and 17.  Let that be a lesson to all of you \u2013 muggers aren\u2019t always hot Nigerian bodybuilders!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI will be dating Pete Davidson next.\u201d \u2013 Dionne Warwick Tweets she\u2019ll be the next woman in Davidson\u2019s long list of ex-paramours.  Davidson\u2019s former SNL co-star Jay Pharoah says Pete told him the secret of his success.  \u201cBro, it\u2019s like nine inches.\u201d  I don\u2019t know what\u2019s more shocking \u2013 the alleged size, or that we<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-90926","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90926","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=90926"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90926\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":90935,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90926\/revisions\/90935"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=90926"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=90926"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=90926"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}