{"id":91702,"date":"2023-08-14T01:17:47","date_gmt":"2023-08-14T08:17:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=91702"},"modified":"2023-08-14T01:24:45","modified_gmt":"2023-08-14T08:24:45","slug":"happy-anniversary-to-billy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2023\/08\/14\/happy-anniversary-to-billy\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Anniversary to Billy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As I sat down to write you, an alarm on my phone went off.&nbsp; Today is the 28<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary of my very first column.&nbsp; Yes, this is the 1,456<sup>th<\/sup> column I have written.&nbsp; Me.&nbsp; Who never liked to write a short essay on the book I read.&nbsp; Of course, that\u2019s probably because I never read the book!&nbsp; I have churned out over two MILLION words.&nbsp; I don\u2019t want to get cocky, but if I were being paid by the word, I\u2019d be a wealthy man.&nbsp; Alas, I\u2019m paid by the column, so I\u2019m just a man of average means and above-average experience\u2026translation, I\u2019m poor, but I\u2019ve been around.&nbsp; Would I trade it all for a few million?&nbsp; You bet your ass.&nbsp; Instead, I\u2019ve simply had your ass.&nbsp; You\u2019re welcome.<\/p>\n<p>On a day like today, I like to look back at that first column.&nbsp; Sure, our first story about <strong>Geffen <\/strong>and <strong>Keanu <\/strong>set the tone.&nbsp; But who remembers that the second item was about <strong>Catherine Deneuve<\/strong>?&nbsp; Or that there was a lesbian publication called <em>Deneuve<\/em>?&nbsp; Apparently I was into literature back then, because there was also an item about <strong>Ethan Hawke <\/strong>doing a reading from his new novel in Provincetown.&nbsp; In a bit of amusing prose, I said that Hawke \u201cmakes <strong>Jackie Collins <\/strong>look like <strong>Papa Hemingway<\/strong>!\u201d&nbsp; And you wonder how I\u2019ve been able to remain relevant for almost three decades!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-568\" src=\"http:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/colorbar1.gif\" alt=\"colorbar1\" width=\"500\" height=\"1\"><br \/>\nWhen I\u2019m willing to save a horse by riding a cowboy, we\u2019ve definitely come to the end of another column. &nbsp;You know what I think?&nbsp; I think it\u2019s time for an <strong><em>Anniversary Sale<\/em><\/strong>.&nbsp; So while you\u2019re reading the column for free (the column is always free), you can see all our bonus features and racy content if you become a member of <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/\">www.BillyMasters.com<\/a><\/strong> \u2013 the site that fulfills your every fantasy.&nbsp; Of course, the real me is always available for questions, compliments, and canoodling.&nbsp; Simply drop a note to <strong><a href=\"mailto:Billy@BillyMasters.com\">Billy@BillyMasters.com<\/a><\/strong> and I\u2019ll get back to you before I need a geriatric doctor (right now, I\u2019m doing fine with burlesque dancers).&nbsp; Until next time, remember, one man\u2019s filth is another man\u2019s bible.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As I sat down to write you, an alarm on my phone went off.&nbsp; Today is the 28th anniversary of my very first column.&nbsp; Yes, this is the 1,456th column I have written.&nbsp; Me.&nbsp; Who never liked to write a short essay on the book I read.&nbsp; Of course, that\u2019s probably because I never read<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-91702","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91702","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=91702"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91702\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":91718,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91702\/revisions\/91718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=91702"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=91702"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=91702"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}