{"id":92171,"date":"2024-01-07T14:53:20","date_gmt":"2024-01-07T22:53:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=92171"},"modified":"2024-01-07T14:53:20","modified_gmt":"2024-01-07T22:53:20","slug":"new-year-old-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2024\/01\/07\/new-year-old-news\/","title":{"rendered":"New Year, Old News"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cCall me anytime.\u201d <\/em><\/span>
\n\u2013 <\/em>Chris Christie<\/strong>, when he gave Joy Behar <\/strong>his phone number backstage at The View<\/em><\/strong>. 
\nI know politics makes strange bedfellows, but this is ridiculous.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019re a week into the New Year and many of you have asked if I have any resolutions.  Longtime readers know I\u2019m not really into resolutions.  I resolve every day to live my life to the fullest.  However, maybe my life has been a bit too full.  Yes, I\u2019m thinking my resolution should be to have less sex.  Much less sex.  Nothing against sex, which I enjoy\u2026and am very good at.  But sometimes you do it because.  Like, I don\u2019t think Venus <\/strong>and Serena <\/strong>play tennis with just anyone holding their racket\u2026so to speak.  Perhaps moving forward, I\u2019ll be a bit more selective.<\/p>\n

\"colorbar1\"<\/p>\n

As 2023 drew to a close, I found myself in a courtroom.  Yes, I got jury duty.  I know this will sound amazing, but the entire experience was quite positive.  It might have been the lack of traffic during my seven-minute drive to the courthouse.  It might have been because the court provided free parking.  Or it might have been that I picked up two Bacon Maple Chicken Sandwiches at Wendy\u2019s <\/em>on the way!  When I arrived, I found out I was the fifteen-hundredth person seen as a potential juror for a high-profile case!  As the judge laid out the details, I found myself glancing past the five-person dream team at the defense table and making eye contact with the accused.  Neither of us broke our gaze.  At first I mused if defendants get conjugal visits with jurors (this was before my resolution, obviously).  As it turned out, I didn\u2019t get on this jury.  But I was willing to do public service!<\/p>\n

\"colorbar1\"<\/p>\n

Didya know Tiffany Haddish <\/strong>was arrested by the BHPD over the holidays?  The day after Thanksgiving, officers found her sleeping in her car with the engine running.  She first commented on the DUI at the Los Angeles Laugh Factory <\/em>during a stand-up benefit for people in need.  \u201cYou ain\u2019t lived till you got arrested in Beverly Hills, OK?  It\u2019s beautiful over there.  I\u2019ve been in quite a few jails \u2013 just like the rest of y\u2019all \u2013 I can tell some of y\u2019all have been to jail.  I still smell jail.  If you\u2019re gonna do something, I say get arrested over there \u2018cause that jail is nice.  That jail was nice \u2013 it\u2019s so clean!\u201d  She even joked that she got her period in the slammer.  \u201cI\u2019m bleeding in the jail.  OK, cool, but they had the best maxi pads.  I\u2019ve never seen pads so big.\u201d  She said it was so big, she used it as a pillow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cCall me anytime.\u201d  \u2013 Chris Christie, when he gave Joy Behar his phone number backstage at The View.  I know politics makes strange bedfellows, but this is ridiculous. We\u2019re a week into the New Year and many of you have asked if I have any resolutions.  Longtime readers know I\u2019m not really into resolutions.  I<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-92171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=92171"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92171\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":92180,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92171\/revisions\/92180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=92171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=92171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=92171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}