{"id":92885,"date":"2024-07-28T14:37:59","date_gmt":"2024-07-28T21:37:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=92885"},"modified":"2024-07-28T14:37:59","modified_gmt":"2024-07-28T21:37:59","slug":"big-brother-and-car-shield","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2024\/07\/28\/big-brother-and-car-shield\/","title":{"rendered":"Big Brother and Car Shield"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am proud \u2013 almost giddy \u2013 to admit I have never watched an episode of Big Brother<\/em><\/strong>.  And, no, I don\u2019t believe Celebrity Big Brother<\/em><\/strong> counts.  But I do have friends who not only watch, but have photos of each contestant and handicap alliances as if they were OTB<\/em>.  When I heard there was a hot guy that got gay tongues wagging…well, what kind of big dog would I be not to follow?  Then I found out the hunk hails from Boston.  Oh, sure, Tucker Des Lauriers <\/strong>now lives in Brooklyn, but he\u2019s a Boston boy \u2013 and was raised by a gay father!  In fact, he was discovered at 15 when he caught the attention of Bruce Weber <\/strong>during a family vacation in Provincetown.  Take that all in.  He goes out of his way to defend Weber, saying he\u2019s been \u201cnothing but professional and helpful.\u201d  Tucker is now 30 years old, has a 30-inch waist, and a 33-inch inseam.  Well, now you\u2019ve got me interested \u2013 and we\u2019ve got some photographic proof on BillyMasters.com<\/u><\/strong><\/a> to back it up.  And, trust me \u2013 this is worth backing up on.  He was recently asked about his most vocal group of fans.  \u201cDefinitely gay men, for sure.  And I just think that they\u2019re naturally more aggressive too, so yeah.  Definitely a lot more aggressive.\u201d  Enough said.<\/p>\n

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This leads into one of my favorite Ask Billy<\/em><\/strong> question in weeks.  Henry <\/strong>in New York writes, \u201cThis may seem like a silly question, but what do you know about Kirill <\/strong>in the <\/em>Car Shield <\/strong>commercials?  He\u2019s so freaking hot.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Henry, there are no silly questions.  Sure, Kirill may be dumb as a stump (or however you say it in Russian), but you give me a hot guy who knows the exchange rate between US Dollars and Russian Rubles, and I\u2019m all in…literally.  I texted Vivica <\/strong>\u2013 \u2018cause that\u2019s what I do \u2013 but she doesn\u2019t recall ever meeting Kirill.  So I was on my own.  I did some digging and came up with a shocking discovery \u2013 Kirill might not actually exist!  In the TV commercial, he\u2019s billed as \u201cKirill C.\u201d \u2013 an actual Car Shield <\/em>customer for 7 years who has saved over $9K.  But in a longer online version of his testimonial, he is called \u201cKirill K\u201d.  And in the description, he\u2019s referred to as \u201cKirill P\u201d.  Even allowing for shoddy translation from Cyrillic letters, I\u2019m wondering if he might be some kinda bot.  I\u2019m also not entirely convinced I wouldn\u2019t be willing to accept whatever virus he\u2019s peddling.<\/p>\n

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When there\u2019s a Russian bot I can get behind, it\u2019s definitely time to end yet another column.  This begs the question \u2013 where are the US bot makers with people like Chad<\/strong>, Lance <\/strong>and Chip<\/strong>?  We\u2019re falling behind and mark my words, the next war will be waged by AI incarnations.  And, frankly, I believe Kirill could whip Lance\u2019s butt \u2013 and I bet Lance would enjoy it.  If that footage leaks, you\u2019ll find it on www.BillyMasters.com<\/a><\/strong> \u2013 the site that\u2019s inciting artificial wars because I\u2019m bored with real people.  If you think you could pique my interest, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com<\/a><\/strong> and make an indecent proposal.  Heck, even a decent one would be nice.  Either way, I\u2019ll get back to you before JoJo Siwa gives birth to a McNugget<\/em>!  So, until next time, remember, one man\u2019s filth is another man\u2019s bible.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am proud \u2013 almost giddy \u2013 to admit I have never watched an episode of Big Brother.  And, no, I don\u2019t believe Celebrity Big Brother counts.  But I do have friends who not only watch, but have photos of each contestant and handicap alliances as if they were OTB.  When I heard there was<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-92885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92885","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=92885"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92885\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":92886,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92885\/revisions\/92886"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=92885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=92885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=92885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}