{"id":93639,"date":"2025-03-09T18:43:41","date_gmt":"2025-03-10T01:43:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/?p=93639"},"modified":"2025-03-09T18:43:41","modified_gmt":"2025-03-10T01:43:41","slug":"luigi-and-armie-hammer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/blog\/2025\/03\/09\/luigi-and-armie-hammer\/","title":{"rendered":"Luigi and Armie Hammer"},"content":{"rendered":"

Luigi Mangione <\/strong>was back in the news.  First there was word that he once posted on Twitter <\/em>about having a \u201cpretty huge dick\u201d.  Maybe he spent some time in New Hampshire!  Now we hear he enjoyed being watched while having intimate relations, and there are \u201cat least 20 videos of him having sex\u201d.  Someone who claims to have seen the footage says, \u201cIt wasn\u2019t just some grainy, late-night mistake.  It was perfect lighting, everything.\u201d  How titillating.  Alas, the titillation also has real tits.  \u201cA lot of the girls are too afraid to come forward or tell anyone for free they might get dragged into his case somehow.\u201d  For the record, I\u2019d let him drag me anywhere.<\/p>\n

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We don\u2019t hear much about Armie Hammer<\/strong>, and that truly saddens me.  But on his Armie HammerTime <\/em><\/strong>podcast (take that in, people), he claims to have been attracted to his impression of the gay lifestyle.  \u201cI\u2019m at a restaurant, my phone blows up and it\u2019s like Grindr<\/em>, and like someone else is like, \u2018I\u2019m at the same restaurant.  Do you want a blow job in the bathroom.  And you\u2019re like, \u2018Hey guys, I\u2019ll be back in five minutes.  You get up and you go to the bathroom, you get a blow job, you come back, and you\u2019re like, \u2018What was that?\u2019  \u2018I don\u2019t know \u2013 some guy just sucked my dick.\u2019  It\u2019s like, \u2018Who?\u2019  It\u2019s like, \u2018Oh, I don\u2019t know \u2013 I didn\u2019t get his name.  Anyway, what did you order?\u2019\u201d  Well sure, Armie, when you put it like that, it all sounds so romantic.  But not always. <\/p>\n

Armie decided to give being gay a try.  \u201cI remember I met this dude, handsome, French, you know \u2013 the whole thing.  I was like okay, this could work, this could work.  Let\u2019s try this.  I just remember being like, God, beards \u2013 like women like it when you shave like this is fucking rough.  I remember I put my arms around him and I was like, oh my God and these shoulders are so wide.  He\u2019s so big, like he\u2019s almost my height…It did physically for me absolutely nothing.  Nothing, like not even a twitch.  I was like okay and then I remember like we were like making out and it was kind of like getting hotter and heavier but I was like going through the motions like not feeling anything.  And then he like reached for my dick.  I was like, \u2018This is not going to happen, I\u2019m sorry.\u2019\u201d  You know what I got out of this story, Armie?  You simply tried being gay with the wrong guy.  Maybe if you were with someone a bit less scruffy with a slighter frame, it might have worked.  If you want me to meet you in a restaurant bathroom, I guarantee I can do more than give you a twitch!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Luigi Mangione was back in the news.  First there was word that he once posted on Twitter about having a \u201cpretty huge dick\u201d.  Maybe he spent some time in New Hampshire!  Now we hear he enjoyed being watched while having intimate relations, and there are \u201cat least 20 videos of him having sex\u201d.  Someone who<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-93639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breaking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=93639"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":93640,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93639\/revisions\/93640"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=93639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=93639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.billymasters.com\/custom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=93639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}