Of course, our gay patron saint is Dolly Parton, who has had some health issues since the passing of her husband, Carl Dean.  Not only has she cancelled her Las Vegas residency this December, she also bowed out of the Academy Governors Awards, where she was to have received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award.  Then her sister Freida (no, not the “Band of Gold” Freda) made a curious statement: “Last night, I was up all night praying for my sister, Dolly.  Many of you know she hasn’t been feeling her best lately.  I truly believe in the power of prayer, and I have been led to ask all of the world that loves her to be prayer warriors and pray with me.”  That set off a firestorm of speculation.  So, Freida issued another statement as damage control.  “I didn’t mean to scare anyone or make it sound so serious.  She’s been a little under the weather and I simply asked for prayers because I believe so strongly in the power of prayer.”  Perhaps, but I don’t think she’d ask people worldwide to pray if Dolly just had the sniffles, or a hangnail!  “It was nothing more than a little sister asking for prayers for her big sister.” 

Since that didn’t help, Dolly appeared – as if an apparition at Lourdes, except this was Instagram!  She wanted to address the health rumors with an “impromptu video message” (and if you buy that, stop reading immediately).  Looking quite sprightly, she admitted to having “some problems” and that she had “let a lot of things go that I should have taken care of”.  She says she’s having “a few treatments” at Vanderbilt Medical Center outside of Nashville.  She welcomed the prayers, but added, “I’m not ready to die yet – I don’t think God is through with me, and I’m not done working.”  If anyone has earned the right to take a breather, it’s Dolly.  Get well soon.  But if you really want to rest, take a tip from Billy (as so many others have) – sleep on your back!

When is a farewell not a farewell?  First, I was dealing with the fact that Cyndi Lauper did her farewell at the Hollywood Bowl with Cher, and I missed it.  Then I was heartened that CBS/Paramount captured the event.  So color me confused when I read that she’s gonna play Vegas!  Here’s the headline verbatim: “Cyndi Lauper Announces Las Vegas Residency, Following TV Special and Wrap-Up of Farewell Tour.”  Seems to me like she’s following in Cher’s footsteps!  Cyndi did a very Belinda Carlisle thing (we’ll get to her in a minute) and clarified that the farewell was to touring – not to doing a few concerts here and there.  You say potato, I say ka-ching!

In the past, Belinda Carlisle has announced the end of The Go-Go’s career no fewer than five times.  Now she comes out and says, “It’s gotten ridiculous – we announce a farewell and then something comes up so we’re back.  I’m never saying never again.”  While this is not a Go-Go’s story, it’s been announced that the mega-hot British boy band Take That will be doing a stadium tour.  And who is their opening act?  Belinda Carlisle, that’s who!