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14 July 2025

“Yes she increased her whoring, remembering the days
of her youth when she played the whore in the land
of Egypt and lusted after her lovers there,
whose members were like those of donkeys
and whose issue was like that of horses.”
– I’d like this Biblical passage read at my funeral. I’d also like my ashes scattered in
Egypt after transporting them by donkey. What can I say? I’d like one last ride.

Since we’re in a religious mood, let’s start with news from Vatican City. Last week, a story circulated that Pope Leo would put the kibosh on priests blessing same-sex couples. While the Catholic Church does not formally embrace such unions, Pope Francis not only blessed such gay couples, he also welcomed them into the church (much like Christians were encouraged to pet the lions in the Colosseum). Vatican spokesperson Cardinal Victor Manuel Fernandez recently did an interview with Il Messaggero (which, for those of you not possessing a foreign tongue, means The Messenger). When asked if the blessing policy which Franny initiated in 2023 would be reversed, Victor said, “I really don’t think so – the declaration will remain.” Of course, he said it in Italian.

In the latest governmental folly, El Presidente is threatening to revoke Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship! On his social media site, Trump wrote, “Because of the fact that Rosie O’Donnell is not in the best interests of our Great Country, I am giving serious consideration to taking away her Citizenship. She is a Threat to Humanity, and should remain in the wonderful Country of Ireland, if they want her.” While I’d typically scoff and call it ludicrous, stranger things have happened, Sure, it’s beyond his power…for now. Rosie wasn’t one to take this lying down. “the potus ladies n gentlemen is a disgrace to all our beautiful country stands for- he is a danger to the nation – a mentally ill untreated criminal who lied to America for a decade on the apprentice – thanks mark burnett – and u fell for it – its so tragic – had u grown up in Ny – as I did and he did – you too would know what a total fool he is – add me to the list of people who oppose him at every turn – its now or never America us – my little posts from dublin upset him – go arrest a few brown people u truly evil man child.”

Back in 2021, some guy driving a pickup truck vandalized the rainbow crosswalk in Delray Beach, Florida on Donald Trump’s birthday. I was reminded of this story when I read that Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy wants a nationwide ban on all rainbow crosswalks. He claims his intent is to make intersections safe from “distractions”. He also stated that “roads are for safety, not political messages or artwork.” You may recall that Sean is an alum of The Real World, as is his spousal equivalent, Rachel Campos, who first came to our attention as a dear friend of Pedro Zamora (I believe she also banged Puck, but that’s another story).

Rumors of the impending demise of the divine Miriam Margolyes have been vastly exaggerated – at least according to the great lady herself. She posted the following message: “Hello, everyone. It’s Miriam Margolyes here. I wanted to share a couple of things with you. First of all, you might have seen on the internet and in a few papers something a few knobheads wrote – that I was at death’s door. Bollocks! I’m very much alive and raring to go to the Edinburgh Fringe this year doing my show, Margolyes and Dickens: More Best Bits. 6 o’clock every night. Oh my goodness, you’ll have a good time. And then, after a little bit of Dickens, there’s a lot of Miriam Margolyes. I’ll tell you anything you like. Ask any questions from the audience. My heart, my life, and my legs are open to all of you – it’s a promise! I had such a good time last year – sold every seat. So I hope I can count on you coming this year and making it a night to remember. All my best. Ta Ra!” If you’re in the neighborhood, she’ll be appearing nightly August 8-23, and those hot tickets can be grabbed at EdFringe.com.

Speaking of the UK, didya know London Pride was celebrated on July 5^th? They’re always a little slower than us…must be all the inbreeding. A video circulated of the military band outside of Buckingham Palace playing Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club” – which sounds better by a brass band than you’d think! While no royals were present, we are told that all selections played by the military band must be approved by Chuckie.

Our next story is two-fold. In fold number one, Netflix announced that the upcoming season 10 of Queer Eye will be the last. Many are surprised at the cancellation since the show has received over 10 Emmys. Those same people also whisper that the departure of Bobby Berk and the addition of Jeremiah Brent-Berkus put the nail in the coffin. This leads to the second fold. Berk has denied that he’d make a special appearance on the final season. But he did announce his return to television. He just signed a deal with HGTV to host Junk or Jackpot? – a show where people bring various items to be valued by experts. Interestingly enough, the executive producer of this show will be John Cena – the same guy who showed off his junk on the Oscars.

ABC just signed a deal for a reboot of Scrubs. The sitcom may have gone off the air in 2010, but co-stars Zach Braff and Donald Faison have continued their bromance in a series of commercials and other endeavors. Joining them will be Sarah Chalke, who was also part of the Roseanne reboot – at least initially (like Roseanne herself).

Another spinoff from The Big Bang Theory just got the green light. HBO has committed to Stuart Fails to Save the Universe, which will follow Kevin Sussman, the owner of the comic book shop. He’ll be joined by Lauren Lapkus (his girlfriend), Brian Posehn (geologist Bert) and John Ross Bowie (Kripke), who were also recurring characters on BBT. There is also talk Sheldon and Leonard could pop in occasionally.

Proving that there are no new ideas in Hollywood, the long-gestating Practical Magic 2 will begin shooting the beginning of 2026 with Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock. They will be joined by PM1 cast members Dianne Wiest and Stockard Channing, alongside Joey King and Lee Pace.

We never get tired of saying Cher was right. She often is. She knew her son Elijah Blue Allman was headed down a bad path. She was willing to piss him off and become his conservator. She worried that money from his trust fund would be “immediately spent on drugs”. Elijah said, “I recently passed a drug test and am willing to submit to future drug tests. I am clean and sober from illicit substances…and am fully capable of and committed to managing the money I receive quarterly from the trust left by my late father.” The judge ruled in his favor, saying there was “insufficient evidence”. Perhaps the court would like to revisit this case. Last month, Elijah was hospitalized by the police for acting “erratically”. “Deputies located drugs inside the home and Allman was transported to the hospital.” What will Cher do next? Perhaps slap him and tell him to snap out of it!

You may have heard that the legendary Beck’s Motor Lodge in San Francisco will shut down at the end of 2025. I’m told that many developers have attempted to buy the property, but no deal has been signed. Didya know it’s a family business? In 1958, Bill and Frances Beck opened up the establishment for truckers needing a place to stay in the Castro area (which is a whole other story). Rooms were $5 a night. The couple’s son Eddie was often seen sweeping the parking lot (which I believe is not a euphemism). In 2010, Eddie’s daughter Brittney took over the day-to-day operations, oversaw a renovation, and has worked hard to keep the hotel current.

On the one-year anniversary of his death, Richard Simmons’ longtime partner has broken her silence. Yes, I said her – because the partner in question is Teresa Reveles, his housekeeper. In describing their relationship, Richard often said, “It’s almost like we’re a married couple.” In an interview with Today, Teresa claims she was the only relationship that mattered in Richard’s life. “He never loved anyone like me. He was my lover – not sexually, but he kissed me all the time.” Simmons’ estate in the Hollywood Hills just went on the market for $7 million.

When Richard Simmons’ longtime partner is a woman, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column. Talk about sweatin’ to the oldies! For fresher fare, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that will make you feel the burn. We ran so long, we didn’t even have time for an Ask Billy question. But, rest assured I personally respond to each and every query I receive. Keep your letters coming to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we find out if Cena’s junk is a jackpot! So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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