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22 November 2021

“Back in the ‘80s, I did blow at that Chevron and dropped acid at that 7-Eleven. 
Belinda Carlisle gives her son, James Duke Mason, a walking tour of West Hollywood. 
Watch The Go-Go’s get inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on HBO Max.

Well, there’s no getting around it – we must tackle the biggest story of the day; the story on everyone’s lips; the story that has kept you up day and night.  Did Derek Hough give Len Goodman the coronavirus?  If he was going to infect someone, why, oh why, couldn’t it have been Tyra?  Here we are, writing this on the eve of the Dancing with the Stars finale, and the golden boy of the ballroom has been felled (yes, I said “felled” – look it up).  Since he’s in quarantine, one assumes he won’t be able to judge the finale – unless they employ some sort of remote hook-up.  Personally, I think the show works better with three judges anyway.

Many of you are upset about the Kyle Rittenhouse verdict – although, why anyone is surprised is a mystery to me.  Clearly, Wisconsin law was on his side, to say nothing of the judge, who inexplicably refused to allow the dead people to be referred to as “victims”.  Perhaps the term “people the defendant shot and killed” would have been OK – although not quite as succinct.  In addition to his freedom, Kyle has something to look forward to.  Matt Gaetz is considering inviting him to become a Congressional intern.  Those interns have a long history of curious positions.  Some end up on top of the desk.  Some, like Joe Scarborough’s, end up underneath.

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Some stories linger in the ether like a noxious fumes.  Take Jussie Smollett.  You’ll recall that after it was alleged that he was complicit with those mega-hot Nigerian brothers in concocting assault claims, he was charged with felony disorderly conduct for making a false report to the police.  At one point, he had a deal to make the whole thing go away.  He simply had to repay the City of Chicago the $130K they spent investigating the incident.  He declined, the wheels of justice are turning, and a trial is looming.  Smollett moved to have the case dropped, but a new judge quashed that motion.  In perhaps an effort to rehabilitate his image, Jussie donated a carload of items to the Jenesse Center – an LA non-profit organization that helps victims of domestic violence.  He even enlisted the aid of his sister, Jurnee Smollett…talk about domestic violence!  The trial is slated to commence next week.

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The most surprising story of the week concerns Tina Turner suing an impersonator!  This immediately brought to mind another case – Joan Rivers v. Frank Marino.  In that suit, Rivers was upset because Marino was performing many of the same routines that Rivers was doing in her act.  This case is different because Tina retired from the stage in 2009!  And yet she’s still suing Dorothea “Coco” Fletcher.  We’re told that Turner’s team feels Fletcher looks a bit too much like the real thing – which is also strange because she’s 50 years younger!

There’s been a new development in the case between Anthony Rapp and Kevin Spacey.  Back in 2017, a reporter contacted Spacey’s publicists and lawyers tipping them off about “Rapp’s assertion that the defendant made a sexual advance on him in 1986 when Rapp was 14 years old.”  This led to an intense e-mail thread between Spacey, his manager, his two lawyers, and his two publicists.  And therein lies the problem.  “None is a communication between the defendant and his lawyers without one or more of the manager and the PR people at least copied on the email.  Such communications are not lawyer-client communications made in confidence and/or generated for litigation,” says the judge.  Reminiscent of Hillary Clinton – Spacey needs to produce those e-mails or suffer the consequences.

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Last week, we kicked off our second hundred episodes of Billy Masters LIVE with three of my favorite fellas.  Charles Busch, Michael Riedel and Bruce Vilanch joined me to discuss what it’s like going to live shows in this so-called post-Covid world, what precautions are being taken in theatres, and what’s next.  Of course, there were dishy stories about Elaine Stritch, Michele Lee, Hugh Jackman, and oodles of others.  We’re off for Thanksgiving, but you can catch up on previous episodes by going to BillyMasters.com/TV or YouTube.com/BillyMastersTV.

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On December 2nd, NBC will air Annie Live!, and the actor who will be portraying Franklin Delano Roosevelt is actually a polio survivor.  “I tip my hat to NBC and the producers of Annie Live! for authentically casting a person with a disability for this role,” says actor Alan Toy.  I look forward to future producers seeking clemency for an unknown the next time they want to make a flick about Jeffrey Dahmer or Hannibal Lecter!

Harvey Fierstein and Bowen Yang have joined the cast of Billy Eichner’s rom-com Bros.  Not to be outdone, Dolly Parton will FINALLY appear in an episode of Grace and Frankie.  We’re told that Dolly got in just under the wire – which, when you think about it, is a feat in itself.  She will turn up in the final episode of the series, due out in early 2022.”

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Nico Tortorella and Juan Pablo Di Pace will play a couple in the flick The Mattachine Family.  You might assume that this will be a historical drama about the forming of the Mattachine Society – one of the first gay rights groups in the US.  However, this is about a present-day gay couple (Nico and Juan) with children, and one of the kids starts investigating his birth parents.

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Gay will be everywhere throughout the holiday season.  Netflix’s first gay holiday flick is Single All the Way, which will star Michael Urie, Luke Macfarlane (also in the aforementioned Bros), Kathy Najimy and Jennifer Coolidge.  It debuts on December 2nd.

Should you be more interested in donning some gay apparel, The Bitch Who Stole Christmas features the largest group of RuPaul’s Drag Race alums to ever be assembled.  In addition to Ru (who is obviously the star), this flick includes Kimora Blac, Pandora Boxx, Heidi N. Closet, Laganja Estranja, Gottmik, Brooke Lynn Hytes, Jan, Kylie Sonique Love, Manila Luzon, Ginger Minj, Jaymes Mansfield, Kelly Mantle, Morgan McMichaels, Chad Michaels, Mayhem Miller, Peppermint, Porkchop, Raven, Latrice Royale, and Rock M. Sakura.  In addition to the girls, Carson Kressley, Ross Mathews, and Michelle Visage will also appear…alongside Charo!!!  Look for VH1 to drop this inevitable holiday classic on December 2nd.

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Our Ask Billy question comes from Tom in Orlando: “I just saw some very sexy nude photos of actor Chris Salvatore online.  Didn’t I read about him in your column?  Where would I know him from?”

You may have seen him in the Eating Out flicks.  Or, if you’re in Nevada, you may have seen every inch of him in the Las Vegas production of Naked Boys Singing (we have footage from the show on our website).  These latest shots come from a revealing B&W pictorial that highlights various portions of Salvatore’s anatomy.  While you can see a plethora of Chris’ wares on his OnlyFans page, we’ll show you the meat and potatoes on BillyMasters.com.

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When we’re sharing Salvatore’s cornucopia, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  But before we wrap up our Thanksgiving leftovers, I want to give thanks to the people behind the scenes – our webmaster, editors, and legal counsel, to say nothing of my personal fluffers who ensure that each and every column is bursting with content.  You can find the fruits of our labor on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that has more fruit than a pitcher of sangria!  Should you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Matt Gaetz takes credit for helping Kyle get off!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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