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27 March 2023

“This makes me happy for the OG Charmed fans. What a gift!”
– Alyssa Milano captions a photo of Shannen Doherty, Holly Marie Combs and Rose McGowan
at 90s Con. No word on why Alyssa missed this Charmed reunion…but we can guess.

Typically, I wouldn’t mind banging policemen in the middle of the night. The more, the merrier. But last week, it was not a tryst that startled my slumber. I was informed that I might have to evacuate the ancestral Masters Manor due to an inferno mere inches away. That the house ablaze was purchased by Senator Elizabeth Warren for her son was less pressing than the possibility of your beloved Billy perishing. While I was spared, the Warren house was not as lucky. Even worse, I only got 7 hours of sleep that night!

Entrepreneur Peter Thiel is co-founder of PayPal and a gay conservative. He’s also entangled in the death of a male model. A blind item recently made the rounds about a model who committed suicide after his billionaire beau married another. People identified the model as Jeff Thomas and the mogul as David Geffen. They got it half right. In an unreleased interview from last November, Thomas identifies himself as being “kept” by the married Thiel, and he clearly knew his worth. “If I’m gonna give up relationships I have and give up my dreams right now, during Covid, or dating other guys or pursuing people, then I’m going to get a $300,000 car and I’m going to get a $13 million home.” This probably sounds like a great deal, but it comes at a price. “It was stressful, [Thiel] wanted me to get the nicest car, the nicest house. He wanted to kind of show his power, to kind of show that he had me in his dollhouse.” Thomas adds, “It’s not like I was his boyfriend really, I was just kind of his friend that was there for him when he needed, you know, whatever he needed.” Whatever!

And yet, Jeff reportedly got tired of being “kept” and moved from Hollywood to Miami. But not into some little apartment. He moved into a high-priced high-rise and continued to have all of the trappings of his previous life. How far he got from Thiel is questionable since he attended the billionaire’s New Year’s Eve party. Friends say he was thinking about becoming a firefighter or EMT. On March 8^th, he posted a video from an icy plunge pool looking as hot as ever. Hours later, he was dead on the pavement far below his deluxe apartment in the sky. One agent tried to spin Jeff’s fall as an accident while trying to take a selfie from his balcony. From everything I’ve read, Thomas was a lot of things, but he wasn’t stupid. His brother quickly went public, saying Jeff “struggled with addiction and mental health challenges, which ultimately led to his tragic passing.” Thiel has not issued a comment.

Speaking of mental health challenges, Amanda Bynes has been placed on psychiatric hold after being found roaming the streets of downtown Los Angeles…naked! She somehow had the lucidity to flag down a passing car and call 911, telling the driver she was “coming down from a psychotic episode”. As you may know, she’d previously been under conservatorship for 9 years resulting from several arrests for drug possession, driving under the influence, etc. The weekend of this latest incident coincided with Bynes’ first scheduled appearance in years – participating in 90s Con in Connecticut, which would have seen her reunite with the cast of All That. Obviously she missed it.

90s Con reunited casts from 90s shows, including 90210 and Charmed. While Shannen Doherty was scheduled to appear on the Charmed panel, she skipped the 90210 one. But she did pose with the cast in attendance (Tori, Jennie, Jason, Ian). Several fans even got professional photos between Shannen and Jason – as you’ll see on our website.

Then Doherty joined the “power of three” …kinda. Three “charmed ones” were there – Shannen, Holly Marie Combs and Rose McGowan (who replaced Doherty). Also on the dais were Brian Krause, Dorian Gregory, and Drew Fuller. Shannen first addressed her cancer battle, saying, “I’m feeling great, thank you!” Then she lightened the mood. She feigned ignorance after seeing fans with autographs that said, “Forever, Chris” or “Love Chris”. “I just want to know who Chris is?” she asked. That would be Fuller, who joined the show after her departure. When the panel was asked who was the favorite villain or demon, Shannen had no hesitation. “Cole…I was fortunate enough to date Cole in real life and, uh…yeah, Cole was my favorite demon.”

Let’s move on to a show that’s still on the air…kinda. I’m sure you all know that Tyra Banks has left Dancing with the Stars. After alienating roughly half of the viewing public, I’m told she not so much left as was pushed out. You also may have heard that Julianne Hough will be back to co-host. But that almost wasn’t the case. Jockeying for that slot was another Hough…Derek. He felt he would be a perfect host for the show. When Julianne’s name was thrown into the mix, there was some talk of her returning to the judges’ table (where she had been for three seasons prior to Derek). I hear the brass felt that they already had Alfonso Ribeiro as co-host, so a feminine touch was needed. I’ll let you fill in your own joke.

BTW, Mark Ballas has once again proclaimed he is done with the DWTS franchise. After his last performance with the touring company, he said, “I’m coming to a close tonight. This is gonna be my last dance…Thank you guys for a lifetime of memories.”

DWTS bridesmaid JoJo Siwa has revealed when she knew she was gay. “I fell in love for the first time at Disney World. I realized I was gay at Disney World. I went through stages of heartbreak at Disney World.” I don’t like to tell anyone what to do, but if I were her, I’d stay away from Disney World!

A Disney legend found himself involved in a fender bender with a gate! During a rare SoCal rainy day, the 97-year-old Dick Van Dyke somehow lost control of his Lexus and crashed into a gate. In the oldster’s defense, virtually everyone in SoCal skids on days like that. Still, it may be curtains for his driving career. We’re told that the police have taken away his license pending his passing a driving test.

This week’s Ask Billy question came from Henry in Detroit: “I just saw a headline that said Rory Culkin shows his penis in Swarm. It’s called ‘shocking’. Do you have it?”

I have no idea what Swarm is. Is it something to do with bees? If so, count me out – unless I have an EpiPen handy. But, I tracked down the footage, which takes place in the first episode…so, apparently this is a series. There is Culkin, naked as the day he was born, with his penis smooshed against a glass bowl of strawberries. Why? Who can say. One of my proofreaders tells me that the New York Post called it “dirty and unnecessary”. Judge for yourself – on BillyMasters.com.

When a Culkin is showing off his stinger, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Admittedly, I was more impressed by Culkin’s body than his dick – but that’s me. Happily, you can see all that and more on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is neither dirty nor unnecessary. If you have a question burning in your loins, share it with me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before those policemen come back for a social call. Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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