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13 April 2026

“When the show was number three, I thought it was our acting.
When we got to be number one, I decided it could only be
because none of us wears a bra!”
– Farrah Fawcett-Majors (as she was billed at the time) shares her
theory on the success of Charlie’s Angels to TV Guide in 1977.

Charlie’s Angels recently celebrated its 50^th anniversary (the premiere actually took place on September 22, 1976). PaleyFest LA essentially featured a Season Two reunion (a similar event takes place at The Paley Honors event in New York on May 14^th). Onstage were Kate Jackson, Jaclyn Smith, and Cheryl Ladd being interviewed by local anchor George Pennacchio. Smith summed up the success of the show: “Three women chasing danger instead of being rescued from danger.” Kate, who pitched the show to Spelling, said “We made an impact, I think.”

But what did the press talk about? How the ladies looked. Jaclyn Smith caused the least chatter – most felt she looked well rested and “refreshed”. Cheryl Ladd was judged to be “enhanced” with fillers. And then there was the reclusive Kate Jackson. As recently as last summer, she’s turned up for all public appearances in a surgical mask. So even if you paid for a photo with Kate Jackson, you looked like you were on the set of Marcus Welby! Unmasked at the Dolby Theatre, some speculated she had bad face work. Others wondered if she had a stroke. One plastic surgeon said her cat eyes and high forehead suggested she had a brow lift. Might I suggest bangs?

Hours after turning up for the Euphoria Season Three premiere at the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood wearing a see-through blouse and no bra (I’m sensing a trend), Natasha Lyonne was on a plane bound for New York. As it was taxiing, flight attendants discovered her passed out. She explained on Twitter: “I took a Lunesta once seated, to ensure some shut eye on the Delta One red eye flight to NYC. Boarded seamlessly with just a backpack and sneakers, eager for a nap. Plan was to be bushy tailed & beauty rested, as I was meant to head straight to glam for a slot with our beloved @DrewBarrymore upon landing. Was looking forward to seeing Drew & an in depth convo, but I guess ICE had other plans & I was detained instead. Sign of the times, I guess. Thanks for all the love and support. Never had a problem with Delta or TSA workers. Apologies to any travelers who were delayed.”

We like to think that the wealthy and beautiful have it made. But over the years, this column has revealed all that glitters is not gold. Last week, David Geffen proclaimed an end to his two-year marriage to “model” (I think that’s the acceptable term) David Armstrong (aka Donovan Michaels). Allegedly, their divorce settlement has been finalized (details not to be disclosed). But this week, my sympathies are with Geffen. He’s never lacked “companionship”. So why marry Armstrong? And without a prenup! What promises were made? What deal was brokered? Geffen is not a stupid man. I’m inclined to believe he leapt because he was in love. Maybe he’s just an 83-year-old man worth $8.7 billion trying to be happy. Who’s at fault? Who’s to blame? Who knows?

What a brilliant segue into a story about Danny Pintauro – who is not wealthy, but who starred on Who’s The Boss? Believe it or not, Danny has something in common with Geffen’s ex. David Armstrong is known for having an impressive package (which can be seen on BillyMasters.com). Danny’s also delivering packages…for Amazon! This is not his first “civilian” job – he previously sold Tupperware (forever answering the question, “What do Danny Pintauro and Dixie Longate have in common?”). Last week, Pintauro posted a photo in full delivery mode: “The entertainment business has been soooo slow, so I’ve been doing what a lot of people do – figuring it out, showing up, and taking the work that’s there while I keep building the work I really want. 38 packages today!” I’m sure Armstrong has also had 38 packages in a day, but that’s a whole different type of package!

Pintauro doesn’t have the most unlikely gig. That honor goes to Pink (or P!NK), who got an offer that even took her aback: “When I was asked to host the Tonys, I immediately thought, ‘I have to get permission from my daughter.’ I’ve never been on Broadway, and shouldn’t you have to have been on Broadway in order to host? That seems fair and right. But when I asked my daughter, she was really excited about being able to have a ticket to go to the Tonys, so I’m hosting the Tonys and I’m really, really, excited and very nervous because that girl is a tough crowd!”

I expect many awards for the recently-opened revival of Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman – starring Nathan Lane. Sure, it stars lots of other nifty folk (including Laurie Metcalf), but it is Lane who will likely reap the plaudits for a portrayal every critic is calling masterful. It could also be his swan song. When a reporter asked his future plans, Nathan said, “Oh, Jesus, who the hell knows? This could be my farewell to Broadway.”

I was in New York City for a workshop of Jenifer Lewis’ latest one-woman show. This was an invitation-only event with limited capacity, so I was told to pick my companion with care. Actually, what Jenifer’s message said was, “There Will Be No Riff Raff”, which I propose would make a great title for the show! I chose the perfect companion – Charles Busch. Well, Jenifer and Charles have a mutual admiration society, and it was a convergence of almost Biblical proportions. Jenifer was ably assisted on the keyboards by the incomparable Marc Shaiman (you have read his memoir, right? Juicy!). The story of Jenifer’s near-death experience in Africa (and her miraculous recovery) is ripe for the stage. I’ll keep you posted.

I zipped back to Boston for the world premiere of Matthew Lombardo’s new play, When Playwrights Kill, which takes its genesis from his experience with Faye Dunaway as Katharine Hepburn in his play, Tea at Five. Lombardo has a knack for clever dialogue and peppers his script with bitchy quips alongside more introspective moments. The cast could hardly be bettered. As the titular playwright, Matt Doyle is an adorable and earnest lad pushed to the brink. As the Faye surrogate, Beth Leavel leaves no inch of scenery un-chewed. She also brings more humanity than one would expect. Lots of well-deserved praise is going to scene-stealer Tomás Matos. But the cast’s secret weapon is Marissa Jaret Winokur. As the stage manager, she’s almost the Greek chorus seeing everyone’s truth (but not necessarily hearing it). Marissa can get a laugh with a look that anticipates exactly what the audience is thinking. Boston got every inside joke and gave the show a standing ovation. It continues at the Huntington Theatre through April 18^th. Check out WhenPlaywrightsKillBoston.com.

Many of you sent in similar Ask Billy questions. The first in my pouch was from Harry in Chicago, who asked, “Who is that cute boy from that TV court show being sued by his father for the cost of conversion therapy?”

Brace yourself – he’s an actor! The incident in question took place on Equal Justice with Judge Eboni K. Williams. All the people on the show are actors, and not particularly good ones (ditto for the writers). And before you ask, Eboni ain’t no judge – but she is a lawyer. The incident before the “judge” concerns a father who sent his son to conversion therapy. The son stopped going, so dad is suing his son for the $6K bill. The son (called Michael Talbert in this dramatization) recounted the sessions. “They said that I was cursed, said that I was going to hell, and called all of us there monsters, that we were unworthy, and that we needed the program to fix ourselves.” That’s when Judge Eboni left the bench to go and hold Michael’s hand – if this were Caso Cerrado, they’d also be playing a beautiful song (and it would also be in Spanish). “Young man,” said Judge Eboni, “You are not cursed. You are as loved and as worthy, Michael, as your father, your mother, and everyone else who gets the privilege to reside on this earth, young man. I don’t care what your daddy says. I don’t care what some stupid conversion therapy says, which is nothing but a bunch of hoopla and a scam and a money-grab for young, vulnerable men like yourself. I see you. You are valuable. And Michael – you are perfect. You are perfect in the eyes of God.” Cut! Print it! Send that tape to the Emmy Nominating Committee! If you can’t wait, you can watch every melodramatic moment on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m judging TV “judges”, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. You know what? I’ve been David Geffen. Ich bin ein Geffen. I may not have beauty or riches to trade. But, damnit, I’m Billy Masters and you can read me on BillyMasters.com – the site that won’t ask for a prenup! If you have a question for me to ponder (or pounder), send it to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Kate Jackson’s bangs grow out. Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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