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5 December 2022

“Thank you, Lord!  Congrats to all the other Queen of Christmases
around the world, living and whom have passed!”

Darlene Love celebrates Mariah losing her bid to trademark the term Queen of Christmas.

Did you know that Billy’s hometown gave birth to not one but two holiday ditties?  Most evidence points to Jingle Bells being written by James Lord Pierpont in Medford, Massachusetts.  We’ll just skim over the fact that it was first performed in a minstrel show and, instead, tell you this little-known fact – it was written for Thanksgiving.  And that leads us to the second holiday song to come from my modest hamlet.  I don’t know how popular it is around the country, but I grew up with Over the River and Through the Woods, written by Lydia Maria Child.  In school, we sang all four stanzas.  It wasn’t until the pandemic that I actually walked the roughly five-block route Miss Child describes to her grandparents’ house.  She writes, “The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh, through the white and drifted snow”.  I’m not convinced that horse actually knew the way, because I walked that route in only two stanzas!  And here’s another fun fact – I have certain attributes that have been compared to a horse.

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Attention, everyone – Mariah Carey is NOT the Queen of Christmas.  Although Mimi filed to trademark the term, her application was, as Suze Orman used to say, “Denied”.  She also attempted to trademark the phrases Princess of Christmas and Christmas Princess.  Those were also (say it with me) “Denied”!  This, of course, is good news to the longest-reigning Queen of Christmas – Darlene Love!  The Queen is dead, long live the Queen!

While promoting her rather curious NBC special Dolly Parton’s Mountain Magic Christmas, the superstar took umbrage when someone called her the Queen of Christmas.  “Now, don’t you say that.  I’m not going to compete with Mariah,” said Dolly.  “I love her.  You think of Christmas, you think of Mariah.  I’m happy to be second in line to her.”  Carey returned the compliment via social media.  “Dolly, let’s settle this one…You are the Queen of Everything!  The Queen of the World, The Queen of Christmas, The Queen of Mine!!  Love you!!!!”  Parton, who obviously enjoys having the last word, responded with, “I will always love you”.

By the by, Carey has joined the producing team of the new Broadway musical based on the film Some Like It Hot.  “To see how this show continues to expand on the film’s legacy – pushing boundaries, promoting inclusion, celebrating diversity – I’m proud to help bring Some Like It Hot for today’s world to new audiences.”  This stage version of the classic film (not to be confused with the 1972 musical version, Sugar), has been written by the talented twosome behind the hit Broadway musical HairsprayMarc Shaiman and Scott Wittman.   It opens on Broadway next week, and is poised to be the event of the season.

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Someone else embracing the holidays is David Archuleta.  He’s in the midst of a tour across Utah called The More The Merrier – which also happens to be the title of my Grindr profile!  During one stop, he talked about his journey to self-acceptance and coming out.  After the show, his manager was informed that several people walked out of the concert during the speech.  Archie had this to say on the subject: “Two years ago I was thinking ending my life was better than admitting this openly.  If you are more offended that I say I like guys than you are that someone has felt it was better to end their life for that very same reason, I want you to think about why that makes you uncomfortable.  I wanted to have uncomfortable conversations.  That’s how you gain understanding.”  I think we have a future guest for Billy Masters LIVE.

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Since we mentioned the popular hookup app, Grindr stock just went public and surged to 400% in the first few hours of the offering.  Once the dust settled, it stabilized at about a 214% increase – which ain’t nothing to sneeze at.  Pundits say that the stock might not do well in the current bear market – which is ironic because there are loads of bears on the app!  What?  Different kinds of bears?  Look, a bear’s a bear!

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Last week, we celebrated the life of the fabulous Leslie Jordan on Billy Masters LIVE.  It coincided with the airing of his last episode of Call Me Kat.  Joining in the fun were former West Hollywood mayor John Duran, writer and raconteur Bruce Vilanch, and the outrageous Varla Jean Merman.  But what was most special to me was when we were joined by Leslie’s on-screen love interest, John Griffin.  In addition to being a talented actor, he appears to be a lovely person.  At one point, he emotionally recounted working with Jordan on one of their last scenes – which made it even more special when I saw the final episode.  Check out the show on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.

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Congrats to Ben Platt and Noah Galvin on their recent engagement.  The two Evan Hansens announced their betrothal on their respective social media pages.  The elder Evan, Platt, proposed at the Laser Wolf restaurant in Brooklyn as the twosome gazed at the Manhattan skyline.  “He agreed to hang out forever,” said Ben.  Galvin wrote, “I said yeehaw and then cried for like 7 hours.”  I wish them well, but it all sounds far too exhausting to me!

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After their fantastic performance at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction, offers are pouring in for a reunion tour of EurythmicsAnnie Lennox and Dave Stewart are said to be mulling the proposals, which could bring in over $100 million!  The duo would like to tie this in with a new recording.

The B-52s have been on an extended farewell tour.  Fred Schneider said that while the band is saying goodbye to touring, that doesn’t mean they won’t still perform.  “I just hate to travel but I agreed to do one last tour.  But now, let’s do it in Las Vegas so people can come to us.  We don’t have to play every small town in America, and people like getting out of those towns and coming to a city that has a lot more to offer.”  With that, The B-52s have announced a residency at The Venetian in Las Vegas for 2023.

Kylie Minogue has let it be known she’d be open to an extended stay in Las Vegas – a major destination for Australians and Brits.  One of those anonymous sources whom I so loathe (the only anonymous I enjoy is sex) said, “It’s a no brainer for Kylie – easy money, and no touring.  Everyone involved is hugely excited about the prospect.”  

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Talk of music leads to this week’s Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions.  What a year it’s been for the original DreamgirlSheryl Lee Ralph.  Not only did she win an Emmy for Abbott Elementary, she’s released a collection of holiday songs.  Sleigh is an appropriate homophone for a diva who regularly “slays”.  But, it ain’t homophonic – it’s stereophonic!!  And it makes a perfect stocking stuffer.

You know who doesn’t stuff their stockings?  Those Warwick Rowers – who rarely wear socks!  They started their nude calendar in 2009 to raise money to fight homophobia in sports.  Over the years, it’s grown and morphed into Worldwide Roar, which continues to raise money to promote inclusion and combat homophobia.  To date, they’ve raised over $100K!  You’ll let out more than a roar when you check out their wares on WorldwideRoar.org.

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We got an interesting Ask Billy question from John in Maine: “What do you know about Fraser Olender?”

First I had to find out who he is.  He’s the Chief Steward on Bravo’s Below Deck – and is credited as the first gay man to hold that position on the show.  From what I hear, Fraser is adept at a variety of positions.  The native Brit is also known for having a tight ship – and you know how I love a tight ship.  That he has a barbed tongue might be uncomfortable, but I’m willing to give it a go.  Check him out on BillyMasters.com.

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When the British are coming, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  You know I don’t like to toot my own horn – although it is a skill which comes in handy on those cold winter nights.  But you simply must check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that will keep you warm all winter long.  If you want more than corn for popping, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I reveal the origins of “O Come, All Ye Faithful”!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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