This time last year, the Hollywood Museum hosted Batman ’66 – the first-ever retrospective of the classic television series, Batman.  One of the notable people at that event was the Boy Wonder himself, Burt Ward.  Last week, Ward revealed that the ABC brass were quite upset over the size of his…er…utility belt.  “They thought that Robin had a very large bulge for television.”  On the big screen, Chris O’Donnell’s was just right.  Ward was sent to a doctor who prescribed him some pills that would “shrink me up”.  He took them for three days, but then worried there could be long-term fertility effects.  “I stopped doing that and I just used my cape to cover it.”  That cape not only did the trick, it raised a pretty penny.  Last month, the costumes worn by Batman and Robin in the series were sold for a record amount of $832,000 for the pair.  I’m sure the fact that Robin’s costume was stretched out of shape only helped the sale.  I know it helped me through some hard times.

It’s been a great few years for RuPaul.  She’s everywhere.  OK, perhaps not on FOX, which took a hard pass on Ru’s daytime talk show.  But it certainly isn’t slowing the drag diva down.  She’s starring in AJ and the Queen, which has a 10-episode commitment from Netflix and producer Michael Patrick King.  And she’s got another season of the award-winning RuPaul’s Drag Race.  Then there’s a Las Vegas residency coming up at the Flamingo Hotel (formerly the home of Donny and Marie).  And RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK was a huge hit.  Alas, that also led to some woes.  Last weekend, the UK hosted their first-ever DragCon – a popular event for drag queens and their fans.  Alas, DragCon was a victim of its own success, with too many tickets being sold and people queuing in lines for hours.  Photos at the Olympia London (the venue) show hordes both inside and out.  World of Wonder (the producers) issued a statement offering to honor tickets the next day, or offer refunds.

With all this hoopla, more producers are cashing in on the drag craze.  TLC has announced a new show –Dragnificent!, which will star Drag Race alumnae Jujubee, Bebe Zahara Benet, Thorgy Thor and Alexis Michelle as sort of a drag version of Queer Eye.  The ladies will travel around and try to make people’s lives better.  I hope they let them loose on some of those people from My 600-lb Life!  The show debuts in the spring.

Meanwhile in Hollywood, I was invited to a gathering of the leading ladies of Knots Landing at the Hollywood Museum.  Michele Lee, Donna Mills, and Joan Van Ark were on hand to unveil an exhibit of costumes which were worn on the nighttime sudser.  These events always bring out some luminaries from Hollywood’s bygone days.  At one point, I found myself standing between Kathy Garver from Family Affair and Donna Pescow from Angie.  I think that’s when Anson Williams stopped by to say hi.  The Knots ladies were delightful, and I was happy to catch up with each of them.  I saw Michele Lee two months ago when she joined the Broadway cast of The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife in a special performance for The Actors Fund.  I spent time with Joan Van Ark last year when she participated in an all-star reading of Valley of the Dolls to raise money for the LA LGBT Center.  And a few months earlier, I saw Donna Mills in Driving Miss Daisy.  The fact that all three of these ladies recently did high-profile theatre events got me thinking – why not find a project for them to do together?  “Why not?” said Van Ark, excitedly.  “We could do it as a big benefit.  We’d have a ball”.  Why not, indeed.  In the meantime, check out the exhibit at TheHollywoodMuseum.com.  And check out photos from the event on BillyMasters.com.

“Some people call it a train wreck.  We call it The View.”  Truer words were never spoken than during this Saturday Night Live spoof of the talk show’s opening (said by Cheri Oteri as Barbara Walters).  Whatever you may think about The View, it is appointment television.  The show not only reports the news – it makes news.  And it opened the new year with a bombshell – the departure of right-of-center Abby Huntsman.  A popular co-host’s departure would be news at any time.  But a co-host’s departure during an election year is huge – especially for a show the New York Times recently dubbed “The most important political TV show in America”.  The first question is why – why is Abby leaving?  The immediate answer is that she’s going to help her father, who is running for governor of Utah.  But then, more tidbits trickled out.  First, who knew that Meghan McCain was pregnant?  Hands?  Anyone?  Apparently, she was pregnant last summer and even wrote a New York Times piece about her miscarriage.  So, bad Billy – I missed this entirely (in my defense, in the summer I am at my most self-involved and promiscuous).  According to sources, Meghan considered Abby’s on-air “child-centric chats” during this difficult time “insensitive”.  While this isn’t the only reason Abby left, the term “toxic work environment” was brought up more than once.  Abby’s dad running for governor may simply be a good excuse.

This leaves us with the bigger question – who will fill the seat?  An election year is not the time for a revolving door of co-hosts.  Friday fill-in Ana Navarro would be a perfect fit, but she won’t relocate to NYC.  Perpetual also-ran, Rachel Campos, has surely already made herself available.  What I believe the show needs is a newswoman.  Of course, Meredith Vieira is the obvious answer.  Diane Sawyer likely doesn’t want to continue being a Barbara Walters stand-in.  But what about ABC’s former golden girl Elizabeth Vargas?  She’d fit in perfectly.  Or, if the show wants to be really edgy, why not reach out to Megyn Kelly?  Replace one Bombshell character with another?

Elsewhere in the Commonwealth, the devastating fires continue to ravage Australia.  As I always say, one of the good things that come out of tragedy is you see the people who rise to the occasion.  And one group that has no problem rising is gay porn stars.  Rocco Steele will send nude photos to anyone who contributes at least $10 to any of the charities helping the victims and firefighters.  Of course, this wasn’t an original idea – female porn star Kaylen Ward did the same thing and has already raised over $1 million.  So, support Rocco…and the bush!

Speaking of bushes, you may bump into Andrew Scott’s if you’re looking for love online.  According to the Daily Mail, the sexy priest from Fleabag has been spotted on Grindr.  Your beloved Billy shrugs his shoulders and says, “So?”  Like, is that news?  A single gay guy is on a cruising app?  There must be more to the story, right?  Wrong – that’s actually the entire story.  In fact, the reporter goes to great pains to say that Scott doesn’t show off his naughty bits on the app.  “I have a copy of the picture and while Andrew is not naked, it is a little too racy to use here.”  You know what I call a non-nude photo that cannot be published?  A mirage!

I’ve waited long enough.  Clearly, I – who has something to say about everything – have something to say about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.  As you know, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have announced plans to step away from their roles as senior royals, will split their time between the UK and North America, and will (eventually) be self-sufficient.  In other words, they no longer want the responsibility and scrutiny that come with being a royal.  We’re told that they made this announcement WITHOUT discussing it with either Harry’s father (Prince Charles) or grandmother (Queen Elizabeth II).  And that was just their first mistake.  One of Meghan’s fiercest critics, Piers Morgan (who was once a close friend), made the following statement: “People say I’m too critical of Meghan Markle.  But she ditched her family, ditched her Dad, ditched most of her old friends, split Harry from William & has now split him from the Royal Family.  I rest my case.”  On the surface, he surely has a point.

But was this completely out of the blue?  After all, we know the transition has not been an effortless one for Meghan – her troubles have been well-documented.  The couple spent Christmas in Canada with her friends (Suits was shot in Toronto, so Meghan has ties there).  Lots of headlines in England state things such as, “Black Britons know why Meghan wants to leave” – presuming the difficulties are ethnic in origin.  I, personally, wouldn’t be surprised if the American angle wasn’t at least a partial factor.  And then we hear that Meghan has already signed a deal with Disney for “an unspecified project in return for a donation to an elephant charity”.  The charity in question is Elephants Without Borders – which I presume is like Doctors Without Borders, but without scalpels.  Why is she doing this Disney project?  What we do know is that some higher-ups at Disney gave her an original Winnie the Pooh watercolor when Archie was born.  Just out of curiosity, what did the queen give her?

Of course, this affects lots of other things connected to the royals.  Hours after Harry and Meghan’s announcement, the couple was taken out of Madame Tussauds’ display of the royal family.  Since the display is of senior members of the royal family – a group Meg and Harry no longer wish to be a part of – they were moved to somewhere more suitable in the facility.  The move was addressed on Tussauds’ official Twitter page: “We’ve got to respect their wishes,” followed by a shrug emoji and the hashtag #Megxit.  On a grander scale, there are the rumors that QEII will step back from her royal duties when she turns 95 in a year and a half.  She would still be Queen, but she may adopt a Regency for Charles to all but rule in her name.  So, big changes are coming to the House of Windsor.

The combination of musicals and TV shows also pertains to our next story.  Fran Drescher has announced that she and Rachel Bloom are working together to bring The Nanny to Broadway.  The combination is intriguing, and reminded me of something Patti LuPone said about Bloom a few years ago.  “I’m crazy for Rachel Bloom.  I’m crazy for her.  I think that is one smart show.  Of all the musical comedies on television or on the big screen, Rachel knows how to do it.”  But can she do it backwards and bring a TV show to the Broadway stage?  We shall see…  It should be noted that Fran has not announced plans for her or any of the original sitcom cast to join this project.  It will be its own entity, but will retain her unique “voice”.

ABC just announced that their next live musical broadcast will be Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein.  While the show’s Broadway run paled in comparison to The Producers, it is a recognizable property which could do well if presented well.  Although we have no details, we hear that Mel is pushing for casting many of the roles with the stars from the original Broadway production.  First on that list must be Andrea Martin, who earned a Tony nomination (and stole the show) as Frau Blucher.  Sutton Foster and Megan Mullally both have strong TV credits, so I’d think they should be a given.  This could turn out to be fun…if it’s done properly.

I am usually unflappable.  In fact, I would defy you to look at me and find a flap.  But last week, comments on two reality shows took me aback…and afront.  First was Tyler on Project Runway.  After ending up with one of the least successful designs, he quipped, “I usually like being on the bottom.”  Then he proclaimed himself to be the show’s “most popular bottom” – and he had the nerve to say it right to Christian Siriano’s face!  But Project Runway is on basic cable, so while all this talk of sexual position seemed slightly risqué, I wasn’t shocked (I also wasn’t shocked when Tyler was eliminated).  Then came the season premiere of The Bachelor.  I’ve gotten used to all of the awkward chit-chat when the Bachelor meets his prospective concubines…err, candidates.  But Victoria F. stood out when she proclaimed, “I have a very dry sense of humor…but that’s the only thing dry about me!”  And on network television!  Come on, ABC – couldn’t you do something slightly more subtle?  Like have the camera pan to the puddle forming by her ankles?

One doesn’t criticize The Bachelor lightly – it is one of ABC’s top-rated shows.  In addition to The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise, we also have The Bachelor Musical coming this spring.  Starting on April 13^th, The Bachelor: Listen to Your Heart will allegedly feature “20 single men and women who search for love through music, singing well-known songs, both individually and as couples.  They will meet and explore their relationships while living together and going on Bachelor-style dates that focus on music.”   After the contestants have been coupled-up, they will face musical challenges in live performances judged by stars in the music business.  This all sounds positively horrific – but the kinda horrific that might be fun to watch.

Gus Kenworthy has no use for kids.  He’s courting an older crowd.  How much older?  In the words of Mame Dennis, somewhere between 40 and death.  Gus was videotaped meeting a group of three gay men who are denizens of God’s waiting room, Palm Springs (Fort Lauderdale is God’s parking lot).  When shown a photo, the men seemed unsure who Gus was.  One said, “Who was that Olympic skier?  Adam Rippon’s friend.  Chuck Helmsworthy?”  In the words of Jesus’ parents – Oy!  Once Gus was correctly IDed, he came out to meet the oldsters, who were quite smitten – after all, Kenworthy is both dashing and delightful.  Well, that and as one guy kept pointing out, he’s got those thighs and that ass.  Check out this fun video on BillyMasters.com.

Kathy Griffin didn’t need a gig on New Year’s Eve to make headlines.  Forget about CNN and ABC.  Kathy had a captive audience watching her ring in the New Year from her palatial home, where she GOT MARRIED!  Yes, Griffin married her on-again/off-again beau Randy Bick.  To make it a truly gayla affair, the officiant was the legendary Lily Tomlin, while Tomlin’s spouse, the great Jane Wagner, was a witness.  It’s not God, but it’s close.

Elsewhere in Los Angeles, another longtime couple bit the dust.  Prior to the ball dropping, Sara Gilbert filed for divorce from hit songwriter Linda Perry after five years of marriage.  For those of you playing at home, that makes two things Sara dumped in 2019.  Three if you count Roseanne herself.

Someone I never get tired of is the Pope – and that goes for whomever is wearing that title and hat.  This Pope continues to be pretty feisty.  You’ll recall in 2019, he took to pushing people away when they tried to kiss his hand.  On New Year’s Eve, he went one better and actually slapped a gal who got a bit handsy – which, no matter your denomination, you must admit is in pretty poor taste with the pontiff.  The Pope was visiting a Nativity scene when the incident occurred; so this is one of those rare instances where one could say “As God is my witness” and mean it!  The next day, Francis said, “I ask your forgiveness for my bad example of patience yesterday.”

“This is 20/20.”  
– Cheri Oteri rings in the New Year as Barbara Walters alongside
a stoic Andy Cohen and a giggling Anderson Cooper on CNN.

I’m a lot like Tina Turner.  Now, the obvious question to ask is, “How, Billy, are you like Tina Turner?”  Sometimes I like my life to be nice and easy; but sometimes, I like it to be nice and rough.  I was thinking – what would be a good challenge for this, the dawn of a new decade.  Then it hit me – we’ve got 50 states in this country (more or less), and we’ve got 50 weeks in a year (more or less).  So, why not try and have sex with a guy from a different state each week.  I’ve built in a lot of conditions for this challenge.  First off – none of this has to be done alphabetically.  Also, layover sex in an airport definitely counts.  However, the guy and I don’t need to have sex in the state in question.  But since I’m a stickler for details, IDs should be consulted – even at certain gatherings where clothing is not required.  Come to think of it, on a good night I could cross like a baker’s dozen states off the list if I’m lucid enough to keep track.  Let’s see how this goes – and how often I need to go to urgent care!

Since traditions need to be upheld, my New Year’s Eve was spent with close friends in my native Massachusetts watching the latest Lindsay Wagner film.  Well, to call Christmas on the Range a film is an insult to celluloid everywhere.  But, it gave Wagner the opportunity to wear a variety of ponchos (undoubtedly from her own vast collection) and to act opposite the inestimable talents of Mr. A Martinez.  My companions and I also watched the Catherine the Great miniseries starring Dame Helen Mirren, which obviously paled in comparison..

Never count Faye Dunaway out.  I thought that her turning up at two consecutive Academy Awards would be the final sad public appearances of this one-time legendary lady.  How wrong I was.  It was announced that she would play Katharine Hepburn in Matthew Lombardo’s Tea at Five…on BROADWAY.  I was skeptical.  So when a pre-Broadway run was announced in my native Boston, I braced myself for the worse.  Prior to opening night, I said in a television interview, “Faye Dunaway playing a legendary film star – what could go wrong?”  My fears were well-founded.  After the Boston run, she was fired in a most embarrassing way.  Rather than say something like “creative differences”, this was the statement: “The producers of Tea at Five announced today that they have terminated their relationship with Faye Dunaway.”  This project was doomed from the start.  At the photo session announcing the play, Dunaway allegedly threw her luncheon salad on the floor.  When she did occasionally show up for rehearsal, she wouldn’t let anyone look at her – including the director and playwright.  She complained if anyone wore white – “because it distracts me”.  More distracting was the fact that she couldn’t remember her lines and had to be prompted via an earpiece.  Best of all, prior to opening night in Boston, Dunaway allegedly had staffers get on their hands and knees and scrub the floor of her dressing room!  The more things change…

Keep your hands to yourself.  You’d think I wouldn’t have to tell you not to put your hands down the pants of an underage busboy, but you’re not Kevin Spacey.  This story had everything – a closeted actor, an underage twink, liquor, text messages, a selfie, and a girlfriend.  It even had a mother who had once been a semi-respected newswoman in Boston, deleting items off her spawn’s cell phone that might paint him in a less than positive light.  Once the term “tampering with evidence” was explained to her, the phone mysteriously couldn’t be found.  And I believe solely because of this, Spacey got off of trying to get a busboy off.

As it turns out, sometimes you can judge a book by its cover.  I kinda assumed I’d never talk about the disgraced Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock again.  But that was before he started showing up at gay circuit parties with his hands down his dance partner’s shorts (at least he was of age).  That was just the beginning.  He was next seen cavorting with the buff boys at Coachella.  Then people started coming forward recounting numerous online hookups with statements like, “While he said he was primarily a top, he would bottom.”  Kinda like a vegetarian who occasionally likes a big hunk of meat – literally.  And before you know it, someone sent us over 20 photos of Aaron from every possible angle, in various forms of arousal, and some possibly taken with that camera they use for colonoscopies.  Add in the videos and, well, you had the most popular images of 2019 on BillyMasters.com.

Nothing good happens after 2AM…on the streets of Chicago…in the winter.  I don’t care how much you have a hankering for a Subway salad (and, really, who has ever had a hankering for a Subway salad).  Learn from Jussie Smollett and stay home.  What a roller coaster the Empire star brought us on.  First he was a victim.  Then he was a colluder.  Then he was a mastermind.  And then, he somehow presented himself as a victim all over again!  The idea that in subfreezing weather, two guys were wandering around Chicago with bleach and a noose never seemed plausible.  And how likely is it that after such a horrific attack, you’d still be holding onto your Subway salad?  Once the men were ID’ed as Nigerian bodybuilding brothers who actually knew Jussie, it was all over.  They even corroborated their story with handwritten plans, notes, and cancelled checks!  Not only wasn’t Jussie a victim, he wasn’t very bright.  Miraculously, the City of Chicago didn’t press charges – they only wanted reimbursement for the investigation.  Jussie refusing to pay simply reinforces how dim he is.  Look for this to continue into 2020.

It’s not just the Kardashians who enjoy a large black penis.  This year, we had two that made news – both singers.  Lil Nas X got tongues wagging when we leaked a video of his “junk”.  It obviously didn’t hurt his career – “Old Town Road” became a huge hit, and Forbes named him one of the highest-paid country artists of the year.  Then came Jason Derulo, who got people all hot and bothered with his sheathed spear being clearly visible in a pair of boxer briefs.  Instagram took it down, but enough people saw it to give him publicity.  He’s still riding it (so to speak) by claiming the powers-that-be at Cats digitally removed his dick from the pic – as if anyone would allow shooting to begin without that monster being strapped down within an inch of his life.  Still, you can unwrap each of these guy’s packages on BillyMasters.com.

Dish isn’t limited to primetime.  Daytime television always provides endless fodder for this column.  Wendy Williams finally left her cheating scumbag of a husband.  Sara Gilbert finally left The Talk (and, as we go to press, wife of five years Linda Perry).  But all of these shows owe their notoriety to the grand dame of all daytime talkers – The View.  While Barbara Walters wastes away with her beloved Icodel in isolation, her baby is still going strong.  And it’s more combative than ever with Meghan McCain’s inability to share the stage with…well, anybody, and Whoopi’s short fuse getting shorter by the moment.  Say what you will, it’s still appointment television and will be a key player in the upcoming election year.

Time for our final installment of Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions.  In an uncharacteristically selfish move, I’m going to remind you that a subscription to BillyMasters.com makes a perfect stocking stuffer for you or any of your friends.  Not to brag, but I’m still able to stuff multiple stockings simultaneously.

To make things a bit more tempting, remember the ringtone I made from Whoopi’s “Girl, please stop talking” speech?  Well, I’m making it available to all of you – for FREE.  Just head on over to www.BillyMasters.com to download it from our homepage (or just click here).  Happy Holidays, from Billy Masters.

One of the hottest books of the year was Ramin Setoodeh’s Ladies Who Punch: The Explosive Inside Story of The View.  It was so dishy and skinny, I downed it in a single sitting.  Grab it where all good (or trashy) books are sold.

When we’re taking a little time to enjoy the view, it’s time to end yet another column.  Don’t forget to grab your free ringtone – and whatever else you have handy – at www.BillyMasters.com, the site that’ll answer all your needs.  For those needs that require a bit of stroking, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I share a bottle of poppers with Nicole and her beau…at The Fellatio Café!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

By the time you read this, a new coffee shop will have opened in downtown Geneva – The Fellatio Café.  According to a company spokesperson, you will be able to order coffee and select a sex worker from a digital menu (along with a scone if you’re feeling peckish) for roughly $50.  Spokesperson Bradley Charvert (who is hotter than most sex workers I’ve met) said, “In five or ten minutes, it’s all over” – which means they’re pretty “adept” sex workers.  But do they provide sex workers of both genders?  While so far only female “workers” are involved, Bradley says he’s open to bringing on men – and even robots – if the demand is there.  Bringing new meaning to the phrase, “I’m the cream in your coffee”.

In a silly story out of the UK, Nicole Scherzinger (of the Pussycat Dolls and various talent shows) was apparently out with a group of people at Freedom, a popular gay club in London.  Her group included Sam Smith, Joe McElderry, and Nicole’s rumored beau, rugby player (and recent contestant on The X-Factor: Celebrity), Thom Evans.  According to a civilian named Ben, “Sam was offering their poppers around”.  Ben added, “I got to sniff the same bottle that Nicole used.”

I would be far more interested in sharing a bottle with Thom Evans, who is one of the most spectacularly beautiful men to have graced the world.  You may recall that he and his lookalike brother Max posed nude for the Dieux Du Stade calendar.  The naughty nude photos can be found on our website, BillyMasters.com.  BYOP (bring your own poppers).

Every once in a while, someone champions the belief that gay roles should only be played by gay actors.  Richard E. Grant (Oscar-nominated last year for Can You Ever Forgive Me?) recently pushed this agenda in an interview with the Sunday Time in London.  “The transgender movement and the #MeToo movement means, how can you justify heterosexual actors playing gay characters?”  So, flipping it around, does Richard also wonder “how can you justify homosexual actors playing straight characters”?   ‘Cause, y’know, it’s a slippery slope.

I don’t know how the notorious REG will react to this next story.  Do you remember when Marvel announced plans for their first openly gay superhero?  And that they would only consider hiring an openly gay actor?  Way back then, it was rumored that the character would be “Ikaris”.  Apparently that is no longer the case.  Recent reports indicate that the character will be Phastos in The Eternals, as played by Brian Tyree Henry.  You may know BTH for his Emmy-nominated turn as rapper Paper Boi in the series Atlanta, or his guest-starring role on This is Us (also Emmy-nominated), or his Broadway turn in Lobby Hero (a Tony nomination).  Although Brian hasn’t made any declarations regarding his sex life, there have been rumors – particularly after his convincing portrayal of a drag queen in the play Wig Out, which was staged at the Sundance Theatre Lab in 2007.

While the original Dynasty was a guilty pleasure, the current incarnation is more guilty than pleasurable.  I know you’re not watching, but it is fun – even if the cast is constantly changing.  In three seasons, we’re on our third Crystal and our second Alexis – well, third if you count the episodes Fallon played herself and her mother.

Which leads to our Ask Billy question.  Henry in Maine says, “The guy who plays Liam on Dynasty is really hot.  He gives off a gay vibe – or is it me?”

If you’re reading this column, it’s you giving off the gay vibe.  Let’s move on to Adam Huber, who plays Liam.  He may be somewhat light in the acting department, but he’s got great hair – which makes him a perfect addition to the cast.  That head of hair made me think that perhaps he’s modeled.  A bit of sleuthing uncovered his modeling past – where he showed off his impressive physique.  And, wait – is that a brief foray into nude modeling?  As with all good stocking stuffers, you can see all on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m beginning and ending critiquing people’s hair, it’s time to end yet another column.  You know what a perfect gift is?  A membership to www.BillyMasters.com, the site where we never censor a big snake.  If you wanna dare me with a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I cry for Argentina.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Email to Billy?

Billy Masters
Copyright ©2019
2 Go Communications. All rights reserved
Revised: Dec 16, 2019 @ 4:31 am

When asked about featuring LGBTQ+ content, Hallmark Channel CEO Bill Abbott said, “We’re open to really any type of movie of any type of relationship in any space.  We are always encouraging people to bring us stories across the board.  It’s certainly something that we do discuss consistently with our team and with our talent and with the agencies.”  Of course, this makes sense for a network that continuously runs episodes of The Golden Girls.  However, the statement outraged conservative fans of programs starring the pious Candace Cameron Bure and the soon-to-be incarcerated Lori Loughlin.  Then came a proposed boycott from One Million Moms, a grassroots organization that presumably has one million-plus moms (I don’t have my abacus handy, but if they say 1 in 10 people are gay, then there’s a pretty good chance I slept with a baker’s dozen of those one million moms’ sons).  The moms were vehemently opposed to commercials with lesbian couples promoting Zola, a wedding planning website.  The network killed the commercials, saying they don’t accept ads that “are deemed controversial”.  A spokesperson went so far as to say that two brides kissing violated the channel’s policy against “public displays of affection” – ironic coming from a network where virtually every movie is about a girl sleeping with both her capitalistic big-city boyfriend and her hometown childhood sweetheart who is trying to save a Christmas tree farm. 

BREAKING NEWS – just before we published this column, the network’s parent company, Hallmark Cards, reversed the decision to pull the commercials in question.  “We are truly sorry for the hurt and disappointment this has caused,” said president and CEO Mike Perry.  “Across our brand, we will continue to look for ways to be more inclusive and celebrate our differences.”  It’s a Christmas miracle!

St. Paul’s Church in Malmö, Sweden commissioned a new piece of art entitled “Paradise”.  Artist Elisabeth Ohlson Wallin did a work 20 years ago inspired by the Last Supper, with Jesus surrounded by the 12 apostles – in drag!  For “Paradise”, she had the Garden of Eden populated with straight couples, gay couples, and even a transgender person in a tree holding the snake!  You’d think “all-inclusive”, right?  Apparently it was too inclusive.  The Swedish Church felt that since the snake represents sin and temptation in religious settings, having the transperson holding it could be interpreted as trans-phobic.  Ohlson says she’s making a new image for the church – “without a snake”.  So now it’s snake-phobic.

Social media had a problem with the snake Jason Derulo had in his tight black boxer briefs.  Derulo explained, “I was not aroused.  I was literally, like, getting out of the water.  I don’t want to say I was shriveled up.  I definitely didn’t have the cold shrivel.”  For those of you interested in what it looks like dry, Jason added, “It leans more to the front.  If it’s on the side, and it’s just chilling on the side, it’s a semi.”  This led to Derulo receiving an offer to do porn – ‘cause, you know, fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, anacondas gotta breathe.  CamSoda offered Derulo $500K to sit around in his boxer briefs and fondle the ferocious fella.  So, basically, the anaconda didn’t even have to come out of hibernation!  Jason turned down the offer, saying “Imma need a wayyy bigger bag than that.”

Maybe Derulo has so much money he doesn’t need to fondle his undies for half a million bucks.  We do know that Lil Nas X is doing just fine.  According to “Forbes”, he’s the first gay man to appear on the list of highest-paid country acts.  Of course, you can see his anaconda on BillyMasters.com.  And, trust me, we didn’t pay him a cent!

When John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John announced they were reuniting for three Grease sing-a-long events in Florida, the events sold out immediately.  It didn’t hurt that the duo was joined by three of their co-stars – Barry Pearl, Kelly Ward, and Michael Tucci – collectively known as the T-Birds (Didi Conn’s invitation must have gotten lost in the mail).  Travolta thought it would be fun if his fellow T-Birds dyed their hair.  This made me wonder, what would Travolta do?  I am delighted to report that he donned one of the best wigs of his life.  Actually, it was on the minimalist side, so perhaps it was a wiglet.  He and Livvy turned up in their end-of-film attire for the Q&A, and even sang some of the songs.  You can see photos and even videos at BillyMasters.com.

Here’s a first – this week’s Ask Billy question comes from within my own organization!  My proofreader Aaron writes, “I just read about Jason Derulo’s dick being censored online.  So now I wanna see it.”

Obviously I have the photo in question, but I didn’t plan on running it.  Why?  They discussed this on The Talk.  If I live by one rule of thumb: there’s no reason to share a story that has been discussed by Marie Osmond.  But rules are made to be broken.  Jason posted a photo where he was clad only in some tight-fitting black boxer briefs – briefs which showed a sizable tubular structure across the front.  When a fan asked what was in there, Derulo said an “anaconda”.  Apparently harboring an animal in your undies is an Instagram no-no.  The social media platform said the photo was “taken down for nudity or sexual activity”.  Jason shot back, “I can’t help my size”.  When they discussed this on The Talk, someone wondered if it was discrimination.  Why can you show a large-breasted woman in a tight t-shirt but not a large-penised man in tight undies?  Food for thought.  That food was a bit much for Instagram, but it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet at BillyMasters.com.

I’m sorry to report that Gus Kenworthy has switched teams.  I know – you’re devastated.  But don’t worry – he’s simply switched Olympic teams.  Turns out, Gus was born in the UK and calls his mother “British through-and-through.  She has been my #1 fan for my entire life and has proudly stood at the bottom of the mountain waving the stars and stripes in support of me for two Olympic cycles.  Now, in what is sure to be my last Olympic appearance, I’d like to return the honor by proudly holding up the British flag for her.”  Isn’t that a lovely story?  But I don’t buy it.  When previous Olympians have done this, it’s because the competition to make Team USA towards the end of their career is fierce, while joining a foreign team is almost guaranteed.  On the other hand, I could be wrong.

It’s that time of the year where the conversation inevitably turns to Santas of color.  Well, Broadway is going to have their first Evan Hansen of color when Jordan Fisher plays the title role for 16 weeks starting on January 28^th.  He said, “To be the first full-time ethnic Evan is pretty special.  I think it says a lot about where Broadway is in terms of whatever your creed, or color or orientation, as long as you can tell the story, it’s something that’s malleable, which is something that I love, and I’m very honored about.”  I bet he’ll be great.

After my brief stay in Florida, I had to dash to Los Angeles to co-host Sidebar with John Duran on Channel Q Radio, which is syndicated around the country (you can hear the show here).  The good thing about when I host something is I bring my own guests.  I booked Jenifer Lewis, since she was appearing in Debbie Allen’s Hot Chocolate Nutcracker gala the following night.  And what a night it was.  Shonda Rhimes donated a building to the Debbie Allen Dance Academy!  And I learned that Berry Gordy gave Debbie the first $50K to get started.  As to the show, there was never such a Nutcracker.  Over 200 gorgeous kids danced, sang, and acted their tails off.  And speaking of tails, Jenifer Lewis played a rat!  We were joined backstage by the young and restless Shemar Moore, who has a pretty hot tail himself.  You must check out the photos at BillyMasters.com.

Now comes the point in the column where I share Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions.  My goal each year is to share things that could make your festivities just a trifle more gay.  One of the most popular items every year is the Orthodox Priest Calendar.  But, frankly, I’m finding it hard to believe any actual priest can do that with a crucifix unless the holy water miraculously turned into lube.  Therefore, my calendar choice this year will appeal to those of you who like a bit of ginger – a lovely holiday flavor.  Last year, a fan sent me the Red Hot Cock Calendar, and I was impressed with what they refer to as their “fire crotches, copper knobs and ginger nuts”.  This year the lads have outdone themselves by also providing the flip side.  Yes, if you prefer your gingers face-down, you could buy the Red Hot Butt Calendar.  Both calendars raise money for testicular cancer and prostate cancer awareness campaigns.  Plus, a little ginger will keep you warm on those long winter nights.  Grab ‘em at RedHot100.com.

You know how you see an invention on Shark Tank and say, “Why didn’t I think of that?”  Well, the staff at Chi Chi LaRue’s Channel 1 Releasing had a thought – what if there were a way to turn any water bottle into an enema?  You know – for those guys on the go, rushing to a last-minute tryst.  And, thus, Skwert was developed.  The Skwert Water Bottle Enema will fit on most standard water bottle mouths and give you a quick pick-me-up.  For my readers, I’d classify this as a stocking stuffer…although what you stuff is your business.  Pick up a few for surprise guests at Skwert.com.

It wouldn’t be the holidays without at least one scandal.  A conservative group claims that a gay underwear ad has “contaminated Christmas”.  So you know what I did?  Found the ad – which, for the sake of clarity, I must tell you is a print ad.  The company is Bonds underwear – oh, did I mention this is all happening in Australia?  The ad features a real-life gay couple – Nicolas and Steve – kissing in the kitchen (one is sitting on a counter; one is leaning against it), clad solely in matching holiday boxer briefs.  The caption says, “It’s the little moments that make Christmas season so special”.  At least they didn’t say “It’s the little things” – how embarrassing would that have been??  Anyhoo, FamilyVoice Australia thought this was too much.  “Images of two men kissing passionately while sporting only their Bonds underwear is hardly the appropriate message at any time of the year – particularly not at Christmas.  Christmas is a special time that bonds faith and family.  It should not be contaminated by businesses pushing explicit images into the marketplace,” says the group’s spokesperson.  I don’t know how passionate it was.  I didn’t see anything pop out, or get slid in – which happens at all the underwear parties I go to.  But did you notice that the spokesperson says it’s “a special time that bonds faith and family”?  And it’s Bonds underwear!  Case closed!

I’ve been following this next story for a couple of weeks.  Try and follow along.  The names Barrie and Tony Drewitt-Barlow probably don’t mean anything to you.  But in 1999, these very wealthy Brits won a legal battle to list both of their names on the birth certificate of the daughter they had with a surrogate.  This was a landmark case for Great Britain since they were the first gay couple to fight for this right – and win!  Fast forward 20 years, and the couple is splitting up.  Why?  Because Barrie has fallen head-over-heels in love with Scott, the ex-boyfriend of their daughter, Saffron!  Not only that, but the entire family (complete with ex-boyfriend/current boyfriend) continue to live in a mansion in Florida!  Here’s the best part – Scott came into the family as Barrie’s “personal assistant” five years ago, where he was often described as a pussy hound.  So, lemme get this straight (so to speak) – the gay guy hires a young personal assistant, who dates the gay guy’s daughter, and then the gay guy leaves his husband to be with the personal assistant, who is suddenly into men, and they’re all living in the same house.  If you’re wondering why don’t these people have a TV show, they actually filmed a pilot last year which went nowhere – probably because the couple was still together and Scott was being paid to be there (as if he’s not still getting a check).  With this new wrinkle, they may get a deal.  For now, you can see the pilot on BillyMasters.com.

With Thanksgiving over, I now am finally able to focus on Christmas – as opposed to CVS, which had seasonal fare available prior to Halloween!  Unlike my men, I like my holidays one at a time.  Before Thanksgiving, I had more than my hands full when I went to see the iconic Sandra Bernhard at the lovely Faena Theater in South Beach.  This gorgeous little gem is tucked away in the Faena Hotel, and I was there courtesy of Sandra’s musical director, the lovely Mitch Kaplan.  He posted something on Facebook about the show in Miami, and I had just arrived at my Fort Lauderdale abode.  Within a few hours, I was in the presence of the lady – and what a show she put on.  I loved watching the audience because they clearly had no idea what to expect from Sandra.  She’s not easy to categorize.  She shares interesting insights, bon mots from her life, surrealist stories constructed with impeccable skill, hysterical observations, and then belts out a song with the power of a Janis Joplin.  Quite a lot to take in for the denizens of South Beach.  But by the end, they simply paid homage – as we all do.  Sandy, Mitchy, and their motley crew will be ringing in the New Year at Joe’s Pub for the 10^th year in a row.  In fact, they’re doing 12 shows at the venue between December 26 and 31.  Get the full schedule at SandraBernhard.com.

You know what I’m thankful for?  That the Dallas Straight Pride Parade attracted two people!  It was actually the two guys holding the banner, which probably makes them the organizers.  In that case, NO PEOPLE showed up for the event.  On the flip side, about 20 counter-protesters showed up.  Look, I’m all for exercising free speech, but why didn’t the protesters just laugh and walk away?  Haven’t those poor straight people suffered enough?

I’m also thankful that Fresh Off the Boat has been cancelled.  Far be it from me to wish unemployment to Asian actors working in this industry.  But thank God that Constance Wu can finally become the huge star she says she’s destined to be.  Apparently the only thing holding her back was being on a hit sitcom.  Good luck, Wu.  See you at the Oscars…perhaps as a seat filler.

While voting hasn’t happened yet, Lil Nas X has already made Grammy history.  Last week, Nas got nominated for Artist of the Year, Album of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, Best Rap/Sung Performance, and Best Music Video.  In short, this is an unprecedented number of plaudits going to an openly gay singer.  You can check out his 12-inch on BillyMasters.com – free membership for all Grammy voters!

Elsewhere in the Big Apple, Celine Dion turned up at drag karaoke, and why not?  She’s probably the most convincing Celine Dion the place has seen!!  Miss Dion went to Lips to celebrate the release of her latest CD, Courage.  “I’m so excited, and I’m so honored that you’re here tonight.  I want to thank you so very much for your support through the years.”  Celine also entered the karaoke competition by singing a new song, “Flying On My Own”.  Watch the video on BillyMasters.com and let me know if you would have voted for her or not.

The original Broadway cast of The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife reunited for a special reading to benefit Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.  The idea for the reunion was sparked by Linda Lavin, the leading lady of the original Broadway production.  When she recently staged the play at her North Carolina theatre company, she played the role of the leading lady’s mother, Frieda (played on Broadway by the late Shirl Bernheim).  Linda knew that playwright Charles Busch always coveted the title role, so why not assemble the rest of the original cast and have Charles play Linda’s role while Linda played the mother?  Charles was in, but said that since Lavin played the role to perfection, he’d have to play it the way she did – “in homage”.  “There will be times Linda’s going to feel like she’s acting with herself.”  While Busch slipped into the title role effortlessly, Lavin still stole every scene she was a part of.  As I quipped to Linda, “I can’t think of another actress who returns to a play in which she stole the show 20 years ago, plays a different part, and steals the show again!”  The event proved what a phenomenal piece of writing Busch’s play is – it may even survive the proposed film version starring Bette Midler and Sharon Stone.

Just a few blocks away, the Roundabout Theatre was doing their own benefit reading on the same night.  Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest starred the formidable Angela Lansbury as the meddling Lady Bracknell.  I’m told that Angela gave a terrific performance – obviously I wasn’t there because, contrary to popular belief, I cannot be in two places at the same time (I can, however, be with two men at the same time, should that ever be relevant).  Everyone says Angie seemed thrilled to be back onstage.  The audience loved her, and she looked positively elated at the endless curtain calls.  Two benefits for two great causes.  Only in NYC.

For the edification of those of you not watching Riverdale, KJ plays Archie Andrews.  In 2017, he appeared in A Dog’s Purpose and his wife was played by Britt Robertson.  Allegedly, the two have been dating on and off since – so we will skip the predictable doggie style jokes.  Now, onto KJ’s body.  The current issue of Rollacoaster magazine (which has already sold out) has quite a provocative spread of the limber, lanky lad.  And he’s clearly not averse to showing some skin, which reminded me of a story regarding a mysterious dick pic.  Rumor has it the dick in the pic belongs to KJ.  I hasten to add it’s just a disembodied penis.  But given the girth of KJ’s body of work, I’m leaning towards it being legit.  Check it out on BillyMasters.com, and see what you think.

When KJ has you reaching for KY, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Since we’re fast approaching Thanksgiving, I’m dashing off to the East Coast…and hopefully not dashing through the snow.  You know what I’ll be thankful for?  The end of these impeachment hearings.  Not only do they pre-empt my shows, but I keep remembering that Bill Clinton enjoyed his highest approval ratings AFTER he was impeached.  Food for thought.  For the rest of your cravings, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’ll stuff more than just your turkey.  Obviously I can take whatever you dish out.  So inbox me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Madonna shows up on time for a gig.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

If my dating life is any indication, you know that I’m drawn to complicated relationships.  I have a gift for seeing the connection between implausible people.  For instance, Ellen DeGeneres will be given the Carol Burnett Award at the 2020 Golden Globes.  Carol Burnett will receive the 2020 Stephen Sondheim Award from Virginia’s Signature Theatre.  This winter, Stephen Sondheim’s musical Company returns to Broadway courtesy of the Bernard B. Jacobs Theatre.  And Bernard B. Jacobs is…well, he’s dead.  Look, I didn’t say it was a perfect science.

Let’s try another one.  Earlier this month, a revival of the musical Mary Poppins hit London’s West End.  It stars Charlie Stemp in the role of Bert.  Charlie was last seen on Broadway playing Barnaby in the revival of Hello, Dolly!.  In that production, his partner in crime was Gavin Creel as Cornelius.  And back in 2006, Gavin Creel made his West End debut playing Bert in Mary Poppins.  See?  That one works – and nobody died (yet).

It was just announced that the Broadway musical of Tootsie will be closing on January 5^th.  This does not bode well for the recently announced musical based on Mrs. Doubtfire, which is set to begin previews on Broadway in March.  Perhaps two high-profile musicals led by men in drag cannot co-exist on Broadway.  BTW, Mrs. Doubtfire will play the Stephen Sondheim Theatre, which…I can’t even go there.  But it does bear mentioning that the lead in Tootsie is played by Santino Fontana, who replaced Gavin Creel in Hello, Dolly! and for a time played opposite Charlie Stemp.

Kate Beckinsale has shot down rumors that she is dating Jamie Foxx.  “If that’s true, I’ve got a hell of a problem.”  Perhaps the media cannot tell the difference between Kate Beckinsale and Katie Holmes – neither of whom have appeared in drag or in a Sondheim musical.

In a week of strange bedfellows, none were stranger than Wendy Williams and Robyn Crawford.  That the talk diva welcomed Whitney Houston’s “best friend” was not surprising.  Anyone who listened to Wendy back in the day knows her long relationship with Whitney (the 2003 radio interview is required listening).  That Robyn went on the show was staggering; particularly since she reiterated that Whitney wanted to meet Wendy back in 2003.  “Our plan was to go down to Hudson Street…wait for you right outside.”  When Wendy explained, “Robyn, I can’t even fight…I would’ve run”, Robyn added, “We weren’t going to fight you.  We just wanted to see you face-to-face and have a chat.”  If you’ve ever tangled with someone from Jersey, you know what kinda “chat” it would have been.

Many people view impeachment as nothing more than “political theatre”.  Trump’s impeachment was the stage for some actual theatre when into the hearing strode a drag queen!  No, I’m not talking about Giuliani; I’m talking about a buxom blonde vixen who sashayed with all the panache of a young Ivana Trump.  Images went viral of the dame being wanded by security (I was once wanded by security…but that’s another story).  The mysterious matron turned out to be Pissi Myles, drag artiste extraordinaire from New Jersey.  She told NBC News, “It was a crazy day in Washington!  I’m flipping my wig over the high energy proceedings today.  Tensions are high, and the bar for who’s allowed in the Longworth House is very, very low.”  Pissi Tweeted from the hearings with her cell phone and selfie stick for Happs, described as “the first open-source live news network”.  I don’t care why she was there – I just love that she was.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Walter in Maine: “I just saw a photo of one of those One Direction boys posing in underwear.  He looked pretty grown-up to me.  Do you have any of the pics?”

There are underwear shots, and then there are Liam Payne’s underwear shots for Hugo Boss.  I’ll let Liam explain: “I hadn’t been properly warned about the amount of nudity Mert and Marcus do in their work, let’s say…I mean it was just a room full of five or six people and a hell of a lot of tequila to get me to this level.  I was standing there and all of a sudden it was, ‘Right, OK, take them off.’  I’m like, ‘Really?  Take them off?  Off, off?  Like on-the-floor off?  Oh my God.  And there was a real hollow moment afterwards where I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette thinking, ‘I have basically just shot soft-core porn.’”  First, where did that body come from?  And let’s not even discuss the basket – which is ginormous.  Because a picture is worth a thousand words, and since I’m close to my limit, I’ll post a few thousand more at BillyMasters.com.

When Liam looks like he’s putting more than just eggs in his basket, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  With so much talent to take in, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’ll give you something to stroke about.  As for your questions, send them along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Caitlyn is dancing with a real star!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Over 40 years ago, Studio One opened in West Hollywood and quickly became THE gay dance club in the country.  Owner Scott Forbes was proud of saying, “Studio One was planned, designed and conceived for gay people, gay male people.  Any straight people here are guests of the gay community.  This is gay!”  Like Studio 54 (which opened two years later), Studio One had the hottest male staff in the skimpiest outfits and attracted record numbers every night.  The club also housed The Backlot, a theatre which featured such performers as Joan Rivers, Chita Rivera, Barry Manilow, Divine, Rip Taylor, Roseanne, Nancy Dussault, Mimi Hines, and moi.  We even filmed the pilot for my talk show there.  So I was thrilled to participate in the closing night event for the club (the space is being incorporated into a hotel and shopping plaza).  The night kicked off with yours truly interviewing people on the red carpet.  As to the show itself, I co-hosted with the irrepressible Bruce Vilanch.  People like Freda Payne, Charlo Crossley and Thelma Houston blew the roof off the house.  Who says you can’t go home again?

Meanwhile, Caitlyn Jenner is itching to get back to reality television – or perhaps it’s simply a yeast infection.  Rumors abound that Cait may appear on the UK competition I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!.  Not only has she pitched herself to the show…the producers consider her a huge “get”.  You know what else is huge about it?  The paycheck.  Allegedly, just for participating, Jenner would be paid roughly half a MILLION dollars.

I really can’t stand it.  Sean Spicer – safe again!  I hope that by the time you read this, his tenure on Dancing with the Stars has come to an end.  Mind you, I am basing that not on politics, on his previous job, nor any feelings about him as a person.  I’m basing it solely on the fact that he CAN’T DANCE!  Alas, this is the downside of living in a free society.  You give people the right to vote, and have to pay the consequences.

The UK’s version of the show, Strictly Come Dancing, made a bit of history by having the first same-sex routine.  While they’ve previously featured mixed groups with some same-sex interaction, this was the first time that a routine was solely two men.  However, this dance was not part of the competition. It was two pros dancing while singer Emeli Sandé sang “Shine”.  The dancers were Johannes Radebe (who is openly gay) and Graziano Di Prima (who is not).  Reaction to the routine was largely positive.  Radebe said, “I’ve never felt so liberated.  For the first time in my life, I feel accepted for who I am.  That says so much about the people of this country.” 

Meanwhile, the Danish version of Dancing with the Stars (Vild med dans) has a same-sex couple competing.  When Jakob Fauerby, an openly gay actor, was cast, he was prepared.  “I had already thought that if they called me, I would ask if it was possible to dance with a man.”  Not only did he get a man – he got two-time mirror ball champion Silas Holst, who is also gay.  The pair topped the leaderboard four times in the past eight weeks.

There have been same-sex dances on similar shows around the world.  In 2011, TV host Alfons Haider danced with a male professional in Austria’s Dancing Stars.  The Israeli show Rokdim im Kokhavim featured female sportscaster Gili Shem Tov competing with a female pro.  And last year, Italy’s Ballando con le Stelle included an openly gay fashion designer, Giovanni Ciacci, competing with a male professional.  They made it to the finals.

Drag star Courtney Act competed on Australia’s version of Dancing with the Stars.  She appeared in drag and had a male dance partner, which technically makes it a same-sex match-up.  She did well enough to come in second!  These strides around the globe have been noted by the domestic powers-that-be at DWTS, and I hear they are considering using one of RuPaul’s girls next season.  Is it just me, or does this have Shangela written all over it?

Our Ask Billy question this week comes from Justin in Chicago: “Did you see Aaron Carter’s penis?  Everyone online is talking about it, but I can’t find it anywhere.”

Aaron says his “dick slip” was an accident, but I contend there are no accidents.  Yeah, because everyone who does an Instagram Live video is fully aroused in loose-fitting shorts, right?  We’re supposed to believe that Aaron was minding his own business, chatting with fans, and somehow his penis simply erupted out of his knickers?  I think not.  To be fair, it certainly appeared to be sizeable.  However, one must also consider that Carter has the physique of a young Calista Flockhart.  Frankly, a thimble would look enormous in that context.  But since you asked, you can see it (Carter, not Calista) on BillyMasters.com.

Sad news for those of you waiting for a 9 to 5 sequel.  Dolly Parton announced it ain’t happening.  “Well, actually I think we dropped that whole idea.  I don’t think we’re going to do the sequel.  We never could get the script where it was enough different than the first one, and that one turned out so good.”  She did, however, add, “We might do a completely different thing together, Jane, Lily and I.”  That different thing will likely be an appearance on the final season of Lily and Jane’s series Grace and Frankie.  Tick-tock.

If you have been watching the current season of The Great British Bake Off on Netflix or in the UK, keep reading.  If you want to be surprised when PBS runs the season sometime in 2025, skip to the next paragraph.  At long last, David not only won star baker, he won the whole bloody competition.  We even got to see him celebrate with his look-alike Bulgarian boyfriend (there’s a Bel Ami porn waiting to happen).  However, the gay couple that has touched Billy’s heart (always a good place to start) is Henry and Michael – who keep popping up in rather affectionate photos.  Henry, while not denying dating rumors, simply scoffed.  Michael, on the other hand, revealed that he’s been fielding quite a few propositions – from middle-aged American housewives!  He also received an offer to do gay porn.  Know your audience.

We hear that Elton John gave Taron Egerton a diamond ring.  And he did it right in front of David Furnish.  Is a thrupple in the offing?  Actually Elton was thanking Taron for his performance in Rocketman.  And the diamond ring in question was actually a diamond EAR-ring.  Taron explains, “He gave me the first ever diamond earring he bought in 1972.  He gave it to me when I was at his house with David in the drawing room of their lovely house with my girlfriend.”  I’ll pause here for dramatic effect.  “Elton was in a robe and just dropped it into the palm of my hand.”  Surely not the first time Elton was in a robe and dropped something into the palm of someone’s hand.

Our Ask Billy question – more of a reprimand – comes from Frank in Denver: “Andy Cohen just said that he’s seeing Ginuwine’s penis pics and that he’s HUGE.  How come you haven’t run them?”

Nobody asked.  Had you asked, I would have happily provided them for you – ‘cause I’m a giver.  Anyway, you can now see them on BillyMasters.com.  But, I should warn you that the photos in question only show the extra-long appendage.  However, Ginuwine confirmed the penis in question was his: “Everybody keep talking about the pics and all SO WHAT!!!  We all trust people at time that we shouldn’t won’t say names as of now!!!  Stay tuned

Another person who has been begging Disney for a sequel is Whoopi Goldberg, on behalf of Sister Act.  Despite the popularity of the first two films, the studio hasn’t budged.  For a while, it seemed as if Whoopi might make the third installment with Tyler Perry, who offered to buy the rights from Disney.  The studio said no.  The original was adapted for the stage and became a hit musical.  Whoopi was not only one of the producers of the London production, she also appeared in the show in 2010 as the Mother Superior.  And she’s gonna do it again – this time as Deloris Van Cartier!  “I’ve been trying to get Sister Act 3 up and running and really met with a lot of resistance of people saying nobody wants to see it, it’s dated, it’s old, etc…So the guys who did Sister Act onstage said, ‘Would you come and do Deloris and we’ll make some adjustments,’ ‘cause, you know, I’m a little older.”  To sweeten the pot, the Mother Superior will be played by the absolutely fabulous Jennifer Saunders.  The limited run will play London’s West End next August.