While I typically hate reruns, Madison Cawthorn is the gift that keeps on giving – and, really, who knew that his gifts were even operable?  That’s the topic of this week’s Ask Billy question, which comes from Mark in Boston: “I hear there is a video of Rep. Madison Cawthorn naked in bed thrusting his pelvis in some guy’s face, but I can’t find it anywhere.  Can you?”

Of course!  And it’s a curious bit of celluloid.  Madison quite energetically thrusts himself on another guy, while the person filming (or perhaps a spectator) yells, “Stick it in his face.”  Throw in an ocean breeze and some poppers, and it could be Provincetown!  Madison says, “Years ago, in this video, I was being crass with a friend, trying to be funny.  We were acting foolish, and joking.  That’s it.”  If that’s it, I’m sure he won’t mind you taking a gander on BillyMasters.com.

One of the topics Jimmy James and I discussed was Kim Kardashian wearing the legendary Marilyn Monroe “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” gown to the Met Gala.  Jimmy ultimately felt that Kardashian evoking Monroe was a good thing – it keeps her iconic status current for a new generation.  Personally, I couldn’t help but wonder where were all those people who constantly complain about cultural appropriation.  Who is more of an American cultural icon than Marilyn Monroe?  Someone asked me why Kim didn’t complete the look with the same hairdo.  Turns out, Kim’s intention was a top-to-bottom replica.  Alas, after all the bleaching, let’s just say there was more hair on the carpet than on the drapes!  Since she felt it would be inauthentic to wear a wig, she ended up Marilyn from the neck down and Brigitte Nielsen from the neck up.

Way back in 2017, the play Afterglow made quite a stir off-Broadway.  It became a sensation and kept getting extended, breaking all kinds of records.  The West Coast premiere at the Hudson Mainstage Theatre in Los Angeles will surely do just as well.  This is a provocative play, with exceptional dialogue, and a cast that could hardly be bettered.  It also sports a fantastic (and expensive-looking) set.  For those of you interested in male nudity – well, there is definitely something for everyone.  And you don’t have to wait long to see all.  By getting the nudity out of the way from the top (so to speak), writer and director S. Asher Gelman allows us to focus on his provocative story of a gay couple on the brink of parenthood who happen to be in an open relationship – what could possibly go wrong?  You get more details and tickets at AfterglowThePlay.com.

I was so taken with Afterglow, I invited the playwright/director Gelman to join me on Billy Masters LIVE along with his talented trio of LA stars – Noah Bridgestock, Nathan Mohebbi, and James Hayden Rodriguez.  We might even have some alums from the NYC production join us.  Tune in on Thursday, May 12^th at 3PM Eastern/Noon Pacific on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.

Last week, Kim Cattrall was honored at Variety magazine’s Power of Women dinner and turned up with some surprising friends on the red carpet – Sex and the City writer Candace Bushnell, costume designer Patricia Fields, and the series creator, Darren Star.  What did they have in common?  All three key people responsible for the success of SATC had nothing to do with And Just Like That….  In an interview with Ramin Setoodeh, Kim made some startling revelations.  “The series is basically the third movie.  That’s how creative it was.”  One of the reasons she turned it down was because Samantha’s subplot was that she received dick pics from Miranda’s 14-year-old son, Brady!  Cattrall has stayed busy with two series (How I Met Your Father, Queer As Folk) and a film (Sebastian Maniscalco’s About My Father).

Remember the big story last week?  About Republican Congressman Madison Cawthorn in a see-through blouse and black bra?  Well, that was just the beginning.  This week, he tried to get on a plane with a loaded gun – bringing up the old joke of if that’s a gun in your pocket…assuming he can feel what’s in his pocket!  The incident happened at Charlotte Airport – my least-favorite airport in the world, thank you very much.  Cawthorn was detained by TSA when they found the 9-millimeter in his carry-on bag – which apparently is a federal offense, carrying a maximum penalty of $13,900.  And this was his SECOND such offense.  The first was in February of 2021 at Asheville Regional Airport – an airport I have not had the pleasure to visit…yet.

Adding insult to potential injury, a video surfaced of Madison getting handsy with his senior staffer – who happens to be male!  Picture it – Cawthorn was driving his car (yes, picture it) and his “aide” Stephen Smith was in the passenger seat…filming the incident.  Madison says, “I feel the passion and desire and would like to see a naked body beneath my hands” – although it should be noted that he says this as if he were playing Maggie in community theatre production of “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”.  Smith, the perfect Brick, says, “Me too,” and places a hand in Cawthorn’s crotchal area.  Not only that, but it’s been revealed that the Congressman has given his Stevie thousands of dollars in “loans and gifts”.  There are even photos of the twosome sucking on some sizeable cigars.  You can see the smoking gun on BillyMasters.com.

Adele is in a pickle.  Caesars Palace has made it clear that her aborted residency must debut this summer or there will be dire financial consequences.  As you’ll recall, she pulled the plug on the production literally hours before it was supposed to debut.  The major problem was that she never jived with the concept of designer Esmeralda Devlin – which is fascinating since she designed Adele’s 2016 world tour.  But, no matter – the songstress has fired her entire creative team.  In their place, she has hired Kim Gavin and Stufish – I say as if I know what a Stufish is.  I know Starfish, but I suspect that’s a different thing.  Sorry, Charlie.

Elsewhere in Vegas, Dionne Warwick has cancelled her residency at The Stirling Club.  Let’s start with the fact that nobody in Vegas has ever heard of The Stirling Club – which, as it turns out, is a small supper club precipitously perched on the fringe of the famed Vegas Strip.  If you head to the south side of Las Vegas Boulevard, it is kinda across the street from the Circus Circus RV Lot.  You know what they say – location, location, location.  After six shows, Dionne herself put the kibosh on the residency – which was supposed to run until the end of the year.  Alas, The Stirling Club was renovated to Dionne’s standards, and now it sits there with no act.  Might I suggest Carrot Top?  Or Gallagher?  If nothing else, they’d make a bundle selling slickers to the people in the front rows.

A big Broadway musical usually gets the special symphonic treatment at the Hollywood Bowl each summer.  This year, the spotlight will be on Kinky Boots, which runs July 8-10.  Two veterans of the Broadway production – Wayne Brady and Scissor Sisters’ Jake Shears – will star in the Bowl presentation.  The original director and choreographer, the incomparable Jerry Mitchell, will helm the proceedings with his usual slow hand and easy touch.

I like Beanie Feldstein.  I really do.  In Hello, Dolly!, she was fantastic.  But a funny foil is a far cry from fronting a fractured fable like Funny Girl.  Before rehearsals even began, it was a foregone conclusion that the first Broadway revival of the show indelibly linked with Barbra Streisand was doomed – and scheduling opening night on Babs’ 80^th birthday seemed almost cruel.  Reportedly, Feldstein pulls off the novelty numbers.  But most critics feel the vocal demands of the score are beyond her.  Blaming Beanie (who, by the by, identifies as queer) seems wrong.  Obviously she’s been let down by the producers.  Surely someone heard her sing “People” before hiring her.  Now what?  The big guessing game on the Rialto is who will replace Beanie…should the show last long enough for a replacement.  Idina Menzel was in the mix before Beanie was announced; Lea Michele before that; and Lauren Ambrose even earlier.  I wouldn’t want any of them cast in a role that requires powerhouse vocals plus a unique and quirky personality.  Frankly, none of them could convince me that they’re the greatest star.

Our Ask Billy question came in as we were wrapping up this column.  Steven in DC asks, “What do you think about Madison Cawthorn and those naughty photos?  Do you think he’s gay?”

First, let’s talk briefly about Republican Congressman Madison Cawthorn – who is undeniably hot.  Sure, he’s in a wheelchair – but that only means dating him entitles you to all the good parking spots!  And, sure, he’s a borderline psychopath – but that only means dating him entitles you to all the good drugs…legally!  Photos just emerged of him in a public place wearing a shear white ladies’ blouse and over it, a black bra – how Madonna circa 1983 of him!  And, wait – is he also wearing hoops?  We don’t know where the photos came from, but it reminded me of his recent comments regarding drug-fueled orgies.  As to his sexual proclivities, I have two words for you – Aaron Schock!  While you ponder those possibilities, you can peruse the pics on BillyMasters.com.

When Cawthorn and Schock could be an item, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  With Orthodox Easter over, I’m hitting the road.  During my absence, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that can even get a rise out of the dead.  If you have a question, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Madison asks someone to hold his hoops!  To my fellow Albanians, “Krishti u ngjall”.  To the Greeks, “Christos anesti”.  And to everyone else, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Jesse Williams is current starring in the Broadway revival of Take Me Out (which I will not be reviewing, at the request of the production).  The Grey’s Anatomy star has asked that his child support payments be reduced.  While he was on a network show, he was paying roughly $40K a month!   However, Broadway pays a much lower salary – $1,668 a week, to be exact.  If he gets the reduction, it will likely be temporary.  We hear that Williams will return to Grey’s for the season finale.  And I hear he’ll be back next season.

When Russian Doll came out in 2019, I was mesmerized.  It was one of the most innovative, original, intelligent, provocative and hysterical things I’d ever seen.  That it co-starred my pal Elizabeth Ashley was the icing on the cake (and the reason I watched it in the first place).  I was troubled when a second season was announced – how could it match this piece of perfection?  Well, it doesn’t.  This second series is its own animal.  Yes, many of the characters are the same, but it’s really best seen as a separate entity.  Like the first series, it takes a few episodes to get cooking, but in a completely different way.  While I am not as enthusiastically praising it, Natasha Lyonne must be acknowledged as a brilliant – if not slightly psychotic – artist.  Well, aren’t we all?

BTW, if you watch this season of Russian Doll, you might recognize a familiar voice.  Much of the series takes place in the New York City subway system.  And the person making the announcements for upcoming stops is Rosie O’Donnell!  Rosie has long expressed her affection for Lyonne, so it’s not a surprise she took the role…although it surprised Natasha!  “We knew we wanted a real New York accent…And so I texted Rosie, and she just would start sending me these little voice memos.  It was very generous of her.”  Rosie will also be turning up in two other series: Showtime’s American Gigolo and Amazon Prime Video’s A League of Their Own.  All this work probably softens the blow of not getting Mama Brice in Funny Girl – Jane Lynch got that part.

Here’s a riddle – how is Disney World like Vatican City?  And don’t guess the obvious – the inhabitants wearing colorful costumes, the propensity for pomp and circumstances, and a whole lotta gay sex.  You see, Vatican City is actually its own little country.  Not a country that you need a passport to enter, but a country nonetheless.  You’re walking down the street in Rome, minding your own business, and poof, you’re in another country.  Well, Disney World is like that – except you have to pay $120 to get in and hop on their rides.  It doesn’t cost anything to go into Vatican City.  And there isn’t anything to hop on and ride…except for a few Cardinals!

Disney World may be in Florida, but it’s also kinda not.  It’s a “special district” and somewhat autonomous.  Back in 1968, the company wanted to develop a swamp on the outskirts of Orlando.  The state made a deal – Disney could develop it, but they’d be responsible for all the costs – including the municipal services such as water, electricity, fire, police, etc.  That worked for everyone…until the so-called “Don’t Say Gay” controversy.  When Disney eventually spoke out against it, Governor DeSantis retaliated by abolishing many of those “special districts”.  While one imagines the headaches this causes Disney, many say it could be catastrophic for Florida.  It makes the state responsible for all those other expenses, including a $1 billion bond debt.  The Happiest Place on Earth, my ass!

Our Ask Billy question comes from Tom in Michigan: “Have you been watching Minx?  So many hot guys.  The blond, Dane, is really amazing.  Is he gay?”

I haven’t really looked behind the scenes on Minx on HBO Max.  But based on your question, I checked out Dane in episode 5.  He is played by Nate Crnkovich, who reminds me of a young Ted McGinley…or Steve Kmetko.  I’ve made a few discreet inquiries and learned two bits of information.  1) He was the Mr. Supranational of 2019 (a Polish beauty pageant), and B) Every inch of his kielbasa is real.  That’s all I’ve got so far, except for what you can enjoy on BillyMasters.com.

When a Minx is sporting a python, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  It’s like an episode of Wild Kingdom on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that would make Marlin Perkins blush.  If you have a question, drop a note to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Nate Crnkovich buys a vowel!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Channing might want to touch base with Tom Daley.  As you know, the famed diver is also a whiz with a knitting needle.  “It’s so therapeutic, and you can make some really crazy things,” says Tom.  “Honestly, the most requested thing for my friends’ birthdays and things like that are cock socks.  I’ve done so many willy warmers, it’s unreal”.  One wonders if hubby Dustin Lance Black sits in on the fittings.

Speaking of cocks, Mark Wahlberg has revealed the location of his giant prosthetic penis from Boogie Nights.  “It’s in a safe, locked away.  It’s not something I can leave out.  All of a sudden, my kids are looking for the spare phone charger and pull that thing out…it wouldn’t be a good look!”

On the flip side, Simon Rex bemoans the fact that he could not hold onto his penis from Red Rocket.  “I don’t think that was an option, but it will be in a museum one day.”  When asked by People magazine if it could turn up in the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures, he said, “I like that idea.”  If it’s gonna end up in a museum, I suspect it would be a welcomed addition to the other exhibits in the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavik!

Didya know Rex has a connection with Meghan Markle?  Way back in 2005, they both appeared in an episode of the sitcom Cuts on the now-defunct UPN.  After the pair was spotted having lunch, a tabloid offered Simon $70K for some juicy dish.  “I was broke as fuck!  I really needed the money.  But I’ll be on food stamps before I do that.”  Meghan heard about his gallant behaviour and sent him a note, saying, “It’s nice to know there are still good people.”  Simon added, “I framed the thank you letter she wrote me.  She has very nice penmanship btw.”

In an oddly related story, Thandiwe Newton has been jettisoned from the latest Magic Mike flick.  Apparently Thandiwe and Channing Tatum had been at odds throughout the first month of shooting in London.  Last week, the fighting escalated, and onlookers claim it had something to do with the January 6^th insurrection.  While we don’t know the specifics, we do know that Thandiwe ran off the set and never returned.  She had an ally in director Steven Soderbergh.  Alas, Chan could not be swayed, and put out the call to recast.  Bing, bang, boom – Thandiwe’s out and Salma Hayek’s in.  Thandiwe’s reps say she left the project for “personal reasons”.

“I’d never done that before.  On camera at least…I don’t think.”  
– Harry Styles discusses shooting sex scenes for his upcoming flix My Policeman
(with both Emma Corrinand David Dawson) and Don’t Worry Darling
(with Florence Pugh and Gemma Chan).  It’s the “I don’t think” that has my curiosity piqued.

I don’t know if there’s a gayer story this week than Harry Styles donning a sequin jumpsuit alongside an equally bedazzled Shania Twain to belt out “Man, I Feel Like a Woman” at Coachella.  Never has Styles looked so feminine and yet so masculine.  Not only that, he looked positively giddy – like he was living out a secret fantasy.  During his introduction of Shania, he said “This lady taught me to sing.  She also told me that men are trash.”  Proving the point, Shania’s mike barely being audible.  You can catch the video on BillyMasters.com.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Mark in New Jersey: “What do you know about Frank of Ireland?  I saw it on Amazon Prime and loved it – and Stéphane is SO hot!”

I know next to nothing about the show, which was developed for the UK last year and can be seen on Amazon Prime.  The character of Stéphane is played by Paul Forman, a very popular underwear model whose physique is shown to its best advantage in episodes 3 and 5.  In one scene, he walks into the bathroom to pee completely naked and flexes his booty with aplomb.  Yes, an ass is usually a peach, but this one is aplomb.  And it’s spectacular, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re craving a fruit salad, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  Yes, make no mistake, this column featured both a perfect ass and Taron pulling out.  Why, you put those two stories together and it’s Ted Cruz’s wet dream.  Well, dream no more and hop on over to www.BillyMasters.com – the site that will never again mention Mr. and Mrs. Smith (God willing).  If you have a question, you can write to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before “DWTS” asks ME to compete (only if I’m paired with Gleb…or Val…or Karina).  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Headline: “Taron Egerton Pulls Out”.  After being in and out of Cock due to COVID, he’s now departed the play for good – for “personal reasons”.  Having seen the original production with Ben Whishaw and Andrew Scott (Egerton was playing the Scott role), I question if he had the chops to sustain a successful run.  Taron’s role will be taken over by Joel Harper-Jackson.  He’ll star alongside the sexy (and openly gay) Jonathan Bailey, who you know from Bridgerton.  The play runs until June 4^th, and if you bought tix to see Taron, you’re out of luck – no refunds.

You know what hasn’t been cancelled?  Billy Masters LIVE.  We had a terrific show last week with David Pevsner chatting about his new memoir, Damn Shame.  On Thursday, April 14^th at 3PM Eastern / Noon Pacific, Sharon Gless returns to resume our in-depth interview – starting with Cagney & Lacey.  Since I know some of you have lives, you can tune in any time at our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.

Nothing would make me happier than never having to type the words “Will” and “Smith” consecutively again.  After this week, we promise to put his name to rest…kinda like a dead name, but without needing to shop for a new wardrobe.  It’s been quite a week for Smith.  First, his wife threw him under the bus – alas, a metaphorical bus.  A Jada insider (and that limits the candidates to a few dozen) claims that she did not instigate Will bitch-slapping Chris Rock, nor did she condone it.  “She’s not one of these women that needs protecting,” says the source.  But it does bring up a question that only I would dare ask: What kind of “wife” just sits there when her “husband” gets up on international live television to attack someone on stage?  A typical spouse would do anything to stop him.  And yet, the first thing we heard from Jada is that she would tell all on a special edition of Red Table Talk – which is like a more combustible version of Billy Masters LIVE. 

After Will was smacked down by his “wife”, the Academy slapped him on the wrist.  He had already resigned from the Academy.  They then ruled that he can be nominated for Oscars for his work.  He can even win Oscars for his work.  But he cannot attend the Oscars for a period of 10 years.  You know what that means?  Jada will be taking out an ad in The Hollywood Reporter which will read something like this: “Seasoned actress willing to do anything for tickets to televised awards show.  MUST be interviewed on red carpet and be seated within three rows of the stage.  Presenting a plus.  Payment (via nature’s credit card) directly commensurate with the number of camera shots used during the telecast.”  Might I be so bold as to suggest this has Mel Gibson written all over it!

To make matters worse, one of Jada’s alleged paramours, rapper August Alsina, is reportedly shopping around his memoirs.  We hear there is a bidding war amongst publishers…and a certain actor-rapper, who is said to be offering to pay multiple millions to keep the tell-all off the shelves.  Stay tuned…

Our Ask Billy question comes from Robert in Texas: “You mentioned Colton Haynes is writing his memoirs.  When is that coming out?”

Thank you for reminding me, Robert.  With all this talk about Bachelor Colton, I completely forgot about Mr. Haynes.  Although it should be noted that Underwood also wrote a memoir – a book in which he managed to avoid revealing a single personal detail.  I expect much more from Haynes, who is not only openly gay but seems to find great relief in being honest.  He’s even taken the unprecedented step of doing a reading of the prologue well before it drops on May 31^st.  Should you like a teaser from the horse’s mouth, head on over to BillyMasters.com.

When any part of Colton is being compared to a horse, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Did you know that in April 2007, Newsweek called Will Smith “the most powerful actor in Hollywood”?  While we wait to see what they call him now, head on over to www.BillyMasters.com – the site that makes news every week.  If you have a question for me, send it to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Jada warns Will to keep Jerrod out of his mouth!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Colton Underwood is pissed off.  He can’t get a single network interested in televising his nuptials.  I don’t know why a former Bachelor who pissed off several ladies, was accused of stalking one of them, came out in conjunction with signing a deal with Netflix, and got engaged a few months later would have problems getting anyone to take his wedding seriously.  An insider reveals how the network meetings went.  “What was interesting is that Colton attended most of those meetings without his fiancé.  This is clearly The Colton Wedding Pitch, who he is marrying seems to be just another detail.”  Fear not – Colton is appearing on CBS’ Beyond the Edge, a show I’m told is “unwatchable”.  That might explain why I’m not watching it.

In happier news, Jonathan Bennett and Jaymes Vaughan were married in Mexico in one of those destination weddings that everyone loves so much.  In 2017, Jonathan came out.  In 2018, he started dating Amazing Race contestant and former Chippendales dancer, Vaughan.  In 2020, they were engaged.  And in 2021, Bennett proved that his penis was like clouds in his coffee – as you can see on BillyMasters.com.

Jamie Lee Curtis will dress as a World of Warcraft character to officiate her trans daughter’s wedding.  She’ll be dressed as the sorceress Jaina Proudmoore.  “Everybody at the wedding is going to be in costume, and I will be in a costume to officiate the wedding.”  The only glitch is that the costume is coming from Russia.  Fingers crossed.

Obviously we talked about the Oscars on Billy Masters LIVE, and we had an expert panel to weave us through the highs and lows.  Karl Schmid hosted the red carpet both before and after the awards for our local ABC affiliate.  Elex Michaelson, currently on our FOX affiliate, has worked that beat before.  And Bruce Vilanch is an Oscar legend, penning puns for most of the hosts over the past four decades.  This week, we sit down with David Pevsner to talk about his new memoir, Damn Shame, in which he talks about (among other things) his concurrent careers as a Broadway performer and a male escort.  We broadcast live on Thursday at 3PM Eastern / Noon Pacific, or you can watch after the fact.  Join in the fun on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.

“We’re gonna be listening to some music, we’re gonna be dancing,
we’re gonna be singing, we’re gonna be keeping people’s names out of our mouths,
and we’re gonna be giving out awards all throughout the night.”  
– Trevor Noah wrapping up his monologue at the Grammy Awards.

Physical assault is never an answer.  Heck, it’s never even a question.  But a story is a story, so I must reluctantly talk about it.  For those of you who have been living under a rock, let me briefly recount the story of the week.  Yury Medvedev, a Russian colonel, was leading a brigade in the fight to take Ukraine.  I say “was” because during their hurried retreat, his own men ran over him…with a tank!  What could be a bigger story than that?

When I would misbehave as a child, I’d apologize, and Big Mama Masters would roll her eyes and say, “You’re only sorry that you got caught.”  I believe that is why Will Smith is “heartbroken”.  Apparently all gay men turn into their mothers, because I, too, rolled my eyes during the Oscars – not unlike that thespian, Jada Pinkett Smith!  And it bears repeating – Will Smith laughed heartily when Chris Rock implied that Jada could be hired to star in a movie.  Heck, we all laughed at that!  According to onlookers, after the eye roll, Jada leaned back and said something to Will.  Perhaps it was some Scientology trigger right out of The Manchurian Candidate.  What followed was not a crime of passion, because Smith took his time as he strode onto the stage purposely.  The only thing he didn’t say was, “Hold my hoops!”  It may have been the most shocking thing on live TV since Jack Ruby.

As you know, the LAPD spoke to Chris Rock after the “incident”, and he declined to press charges against Smith.  But when the Academy wanted to have Smith ejected, Oscars producer Will Packer made the final decision.  “I immediately went to the Academy leadership that was on-site and said, ‘Chris Rock doesn’t want that.  Rock has made it clear that he does not want to make a bad situation worse.’  That was Chris’ energy.  His tone was not retaliatory, his tone was not aggressively angry.”  Except Chris only said he wouldn’t press charges – he never said he didn’t want Will thrown out.  Plus, ejecting Smith would have set Wanda Sykes up for a priceless moment.  “I wanted to be able to run out and say, ‘Will couldn’t be here tonight…”  Jim Carrey had choice words to say about Will remaining to accept his Oscar.  “I was sickened.  I was sickened by the standing ovation.  I felt like Hollywood is just spineless en masse.  It really felt like we’re not the cool club anymore.”  Carrey added that if he were in Rock’s place, he would have announced the next morning that he was suing Will Smith for $200 million.

In the midst of all this drama, another black comedian made news by coming out.  In his HBO special, Jerrod Carmichael (from The Carmichael Show) revealed that he’s gay.  He added, “I thought I’d never, ever come out.  At many points I thought I’d rather die than confront the truth of that, to actually say it to people.  Because I know it changes some people’s perceptions of me.”  It should be noted that his special, Rothaniel, was taped in February at the Blue Note Jazz Club in NYC…and yet news of his sexuality never broke.

“Imagine this little girl in the backseat of a white Ford Focus. 
Look into her eyes – you see a queer, openly queer woman of color. 
An Afro-Latina, who found her strength in life through art. 
And that’s what I believe we’re here to celebrate.  So to anybody who has
ever questioned your identity, ever, ever, ever, or find yourself
living in the grey spaces, I promise you this – there is, indeed, a place for us.”  
– Ariana DeBose makes history winning the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for West Side Story.

Another year, another Academy Awards.  At least this one kinda resembled the Oscars.  It’s hard not to love an internationally televised award show that starts by mentioning one of my best friends.  Wanda Sykes made a joke that one of the honorary honorees had never done a rom-com.  And she came up with the only actress who could hold her own opposite Samuel L. Jackson – Jenifer Lewis.  Even in absentia, Miss Lewis steals the show.  That is, until the camera panned to Timothée Chalamet – sporting an outfit nearly identical to what two of Liza Minnelli’s husbands wore on their wedding day!  They would have loved him…I mean it!  Speaking of Liza, I bet most of you thought the next time you’d see her at an Oscars would be during the In Memoriam.  How wrong you were… although this was close.  Shades of Elizabeth exclaiming, Gladiator!  Or Faye and La La Land!  Don’t get me wrong – I love Liza as much as…well, as much as those gay men she married.  But this bordered on elder abuse.

Most of the women looked good.  With all the exposed skin and boobage (but enough about Timothée), most of the gals looked like extras in a Bain de Soleil commercial!  And speaking of boobage…I believe Shawn Mendes may be scarred enough to finally give up women for good.  Like me, he appeared positively horrified.

The technical people were working overtime.  During the monologue, Wanda said, “For you people in Florida, we’re gonna have a gay night,” and then the three hosts kept saying “Gay” (and note this was on ABC – a Disney-owned network).  While the audience applauded, the cameramen panned to a smiling Denzel, an applauding Spielberg, and a very uncomfortable-looking Travolta!  They quickly jumped to a jubilant Nicole Kidman, who has lots of experience saying “Gay”!  On that subject, special congrats to Jessica Chastain, not only for her win but her using her brief time on stage to speak on behalf of the LGBTQ community – particularly LGBTQ youth.

I have a few things to say about the most talked-about moment of the Oscars.  Of all the jokes that could have been made, GI Jane 2 is the least offensive.  And when you think about it, it’s actually a compliment…’cause you’re implying Jada Pinkett Smith could carry a film!  For those of you who didn’t see it (the uncensored clip is on BillyMasters.com), let me recap.  Will Smith jumped on stage, stalked over to Chris Rock, and slapped him.  A slap?  Really?  Calm down, gurl.  Even Chris seemed surprised.  “Wow.  Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.”  Will then said, “Keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth.”  I believe Chris and I thought of the same quick retort – which was about things going into mouths.  Rock wisely kept his mouth shut.  But this begs the question – where were the bouncers?  Because I can tell you from experience, that’s the Oscars’ fault.  I’ve performed in hundreds of venues, and if an audience member took a step towards me – as many have – the club’s goons would be on you before you got your club foot on the club stage.  Learn your craft, Academy!

This week’s Ask Billy question actually refers to the opening quote from last week’s column.  James in Los Angeles says, “I first learned that Simon Rex did gay porn in your column.  He said they used a prosthetic dick in Red Rocket, but it looks pretty similar.  Are you sure he didn’t show all again?”

One can never be totally sure about these things – even an expert such as moi!  However, we’ve got stills of the real thing and stills from Red Rocket.  You can check ‘em out on BillyMasters.com and decide for yourself.

When Rex is getting out of hand, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Like Simon, I’ve run long.  I barely have time to direct you to www.BillyMasters.com – the site that has this full column…uncut.  If you have a question, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I sit down again with Sharon Gless (which will be on April 14^th).  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Our season three premiere of Billy Masters LIVE with Sharon Gless was amazing.  Technical glitches aside (it was Saint Patrick’s Day and our staff was drunk!), we got deep – and I mean really deep.  Gless talked about things she’s never discussed before – not even in her bestselling memoir Apparently There Were Complaints.  We spent so much time on her fascinating youth, we barely got into Cagney and Lacey and Queer as Folk before our time was up.  Fear not – she’s coming back next month!  As to this Thursday, March 24^th at 3PM Eastern (Noon Pacific), we have the spectacular Sam Harris talking about his new show, Openly Gray.  We’ll also have a panel discussing hot topics.  Join in the fun on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.

Then there’s Jussie Smollett – the Bachelor of Cell Block 8!  He knows he did it.  We know he did it.  Everyone knows he did it.  He didn’t take a deal when offered, and he arrogantly continues to deny guilt.  He was sentenced to 150 days, which would probably end up being 75 days for good behavior (and I’m sure he’d be very good).  Then the judge was criticized for being “overly harsh” with the sentencing.  Really?  Staging a crime?  Costing the City of Chicago over $130K?  Not repaying a debt?  And not admitting guilt?  I think he’s “getting off” easy…which probably ain’t so hard in prison!  On his first night in the pokey, he was placed on suicide watch.  Then he refused food for six days and lived on ice water, which begs the question – where is this jail where prisoners have access to an ice machine?  As to refusing food – maybe he wanted to stay fresh for his gentlemen callers.  Bowing to pressure, he was released pending appeal.  If said appeal fails – as it undoubtedly will – I hope nobody complains when he has to serve his full sentence.  In fact, I insist on it.

I have not watched The Bachelor since Chris Harrison was abruptly and unjustly jettisoned from the franchise.  But people told me I had to watch the finale last week.  And I was horrified.  First, the lovely Jesse Palmer is a horrendous host – his few mannerisms were stolen from the Harrison playbook.  Secondly, every time he was cozying up to Clayton, it looked like THEY were on a date!  And thirdly, this Clayton guy is a dick.  When Sarah explained that it would be a dealbreaker if she learned he slept with any other contestants, he somehow turned it around to make HER the bad person.  Admittedly, when you compete on The Bachelor, you know said “bachelor” has slept with everyone.  When Clayton (who is, admittedly, hot) told the last two girls that he slept with both of them, they wanted to leave.  He begged them to stay, only to send them both home the next day.  Douche!  But, see, that’s a guy thing.  I vividly recall convincing a boyfriend to not break up with me…only to dump him the next day.  Because it’s always easier to be the dumper than the dumpee!  Anyway, back to The Bachelor.  My disgust grew exponentially when Sarah, the chick who walked away, ended up returning as Clayton’s girlfriend!  They deserve each other.  On the bright side, Jason Mesnick is no longer the most hated Bachelor in history!

Get ready….time for an all-new Fayewatch!!  Oh, Miss Dunaway – the gift that keeps on giving.  Her last “performance” was when she attempted to embody Katharine Hepburn in Tea at Five.  During the Boston engagement, Faye ran roughshod over the backstage crew, the director, and the producers.  She’d probably have abused her co-stars, but it was a one-person show!  Dunaway’s assistant at the time was Michael Rocha – and he tells many tales about Mommie.  He’s since filed a lawsuit claiming, among other things, that he “suffered as a result of being discriminated against on the basis of his sexual orientation and retaliated against by termination of his employment after he complained about being discriminated against as a gay man.”  He claims Faye referred to him as “a little homosexual boy” – and claims to have a recording proving it.  Somehow, I picture her using a more colloquial term.  Faye “denies calling him ‘a little homosexual boy’.”  She claims the play was undercapitalized and that she was a scapegoat for its failure (full disclosure – I went to opening night and Faye, whom I admire greatly as an actress, was miscast and did not give a credible performance).  Let’s all pray this case proceed to trial.

Do you remember those long, rambling voice messages that Dunaway left producers of A&E’s Biography?  The messages (which you can hear on BillyMasters.com) centered on an interview with her ex-husband, Terry O’Neill – whom Faye called “a big liar”.  She’s probably not gonna be happy when she hears that O’Neill will be the subject of his own documentary.  Iconic: The Terry O’Neill Story is a feature-length look at the award-winning photographer.  Something tells me Faye will not be participating.  But perhaps their (adopted) son, Liam, will.  If you want to complain, Faye, I’m still at the same number.

When I’m anxiously awaiting some voice messages from Dunaway, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  No time for an Ask Billy question this week.  But since I’ve been travelling so much, I was amused to see a video of a very hot boy pleasuring himself at the Atlanta Airport baggage claim.  You can see it on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that has cameras everywhere.  If you have a question, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Ryan Murphy makes his next Feud series about Rapp and Spacey!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

At long last, it’s time for the season three premiere of Billy Masters LIVE!  This Thursday, March 17^th at 3PM Eastern, I’ll be chatting with the much-lauded, iconic, amazing Sharon Gless.  Yes, Cagney – of Cagney and Lacey.  Debbie from Queer as Folk.  We’ll discuss the many ups and downs of a life well-lived – which she writes about in her memoir Apparently There Were Complaints.  Make no mistake – there will be NO complaints if you watch Billy Masters LIVE on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.

I take back everything I’ve said about Jussie Smollett – he’s a GENIUS!  When it was alleged that the Empire star had orchestrated being jumped on a deserted Chicago street in the wee hours of the morning while carrying a salad from Subway, I called him many things.  I believe the words “moron”, “idiot”, and “psychopath” were used, but I’ll need to review the transcript.  When he refused the City of Chicago’s generous offer to drop the matter if he repaid the cost of the investigation, I was baffled.  But, as all good chess players know, Jussie Smollett was thinking several steps ahead.  So when he was sentenced to 150 days in prison, it hit me.  Now he’ll have 150 days of non-stop working out, to say nothing of being banged like a human piñata.  And if you consider how much he’s saving on paying Nigerian brothers for the same thing…well, guess who’s coming out ahead?  And giving lots of it.  On the flip side (which I’m sure will not be neglected), Smollett still has to pay the City of Chicago over $130K for the investigation – plus an additional $25K for legal fees.  So maybe he’s not THAT smart.

Many celebs have expressed outrage over Smollett’s sentence.  Even Taraji P. Henson compared him to Emmett Till – a comparison which doesn’t really hold up, unless Till paid that woman to testify against him!

Much as it pains me, let’s talk about Disney.  The Mouse House has been chastised for not speaking out against the “Don’t Say Gay” bill in Florida – especially since it’s one of the largest employers in Florida (to say nothing of their large percentage of LGBTQ+ personnel, many of whom I know intimately).  Of course, it’s not like Disney can fold up their tents and move to a neighboring state – they aren’t carnie folk.  And, yeah, like Alabama or Georgia are better!  Disney CEO Bob Chapek sent out an internal memo called “Our Unwavering Commitment to the LGBTQ+ Community”.  In it, he stated that the company stands with LGBTQ+ employees and their families, but that corporate statements do little to effect change and can also be counterproductive. 

Alas, this only made the situation worse.  Detractors noted many instances of where Disney did act swiftly – including pulling all releases from Russia eight days after the Ukraine invasion (more recently, Disney has “paused” all Russian business).  And Pixar employees took umbrage with it, stating that “nearly every moment of overtly gay affection is cut at Disney’s behest, regardless of when there is protest from both the creative teams and executive leadership.”  It was a mess.  After several days, Chapek sent out a second memo.  “You needed me to be a stronger ally in the fight for equal rights and I let you down.  I am sorry”.  Since Disney had donated to many of the bill’s supporters as well as opponents, Chapek “paused” all political donations in Florida until they are thoroughly reviewed.  Well, it’s a start…I guess.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Roger in San Francisco:  “What do you know about the leaked nude photos of Daniel Newman?  If anyone can track them down, it’s you.”

It’s amazing to me the amount of chatter a glorified extra on The Walking Dead can cause.  Blame it on the Internet (or, if you’re a bit older, the bossa nova).  If Daniel Newman worked as much as he Tweeted – well, people other than my fans would know who he is!  Instead, he’s logged more minutes on social media than on any actual network.  With the same handful of racy photos (usually covered by his hand), Newman has deluged his fans with promises of skin shots if they pay for his OnlyFans page – which has the same handful of shots.  He recently posted the following: “Ummmm..about that Nude photo of me that got leaked across the internet yesterday (with no one warning me) can all of you please DM it back to me so I can destroy the copies?  LOL wow… Well now I guess you know WAY more about me than even my parents omg LMAO**”.  Let me explain what he’s doing.  This is a not-so-clever way to get more followers and e-mail addresses.  There are two nudes – from the front and the back – which have questionable veracity.  The rest are just teases.  And they can all be found on BillyMasters.com.

When someone other than me is teasing, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  You know where I don’t tease?  On www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is a sure thing.  This week, I head back to blustery Boston.  So if you’d like to warm me up, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Bradley Cooper writes a book – Eat Your Way to Smoother Skin!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

You’ve probably already heard this story, but I’m gonna still report it because it makes me giggle.  Rosie O’Donnell was having dinner with her son, her son’s girlfriend, and Fran Drescher.  I’ll let her explain what happened next (and I’m reporting this verbatim): “Seated next to us…was Nick Jonas and his wife, someone Chopra.  Which I always assumed was Deepak Chopra’s daughter, so when I said ‘hi Nick Jonas, you were great in Kingdom, and hi I know your dad’, and she goes ‘you do?  Who’s my dad?’  I said Deepak, and she said ‘no and Chopra is a common name.’”  When she reported the story, O’Donnell said, “I felt so embarrassed, didn’t you think Nick Jonas was married to Deepak Chopra’s daughter, am I the only one who thought that?”  No, you’re not the only one.  And, yes, I recognize that makes me a bad person.  Rosie added, “To Nick Jonas I apologize, and to the Chopra wife, I apologize too.”  All of my close friends will tell you that was SUCH a Billy Masters apology!!

If it’s true that there’s no such thing as bad publicity, then Todrick Hall had a fabulous week!  The fallout from his Big Brother debacle continues.  He’s doing a delicate balance of blocking all comments on social media while also trying to sell tickets for a national tour.  Many old stories about his previous bad behavior have cropped up – non-payment of collaborators, mistreatment of employees, etc.  The most heinous story – and one I never heard before – dates back to 2017.  Tod was working with adult film star Tommy Italiano on the Zen Blonde podcast.  Apparently this Italiano guy was also Todrick’s assistant.  They had a tiff, and Todrick allegedly said the following: “If you say anything about me, I’m going to go on my YouTube channel and I’m going to say that you have HIV and that you have unprotected sex with people and you don’t tell them and I’m going to destroy your reputation.  I’m going to destroy your career, and this will be the last time you ever work again.”  Talk about #MeToo!  To his credit, Todrick never made good on that threat.  But, according to Tommy, Todrick called Italiano’s mother and revealed her son was HIV-positive.  And people think Ellen’s mean!

You read it here first – Jennifer Hudson is getting her own talker.  During one of DeGeneres’ many hiatuses (hiatai??), the powers that be at The Ellen DeGeneres Show used the downtime to film some test shows with Hudson on Ellen’s stage and with all her staff.  The results were impressive enough for Fox to pick up the show starting in the fall.

When is a punishment not a punishment?  When it backfires.  Remember when ABC suspended Whoopi Goldberg for two weeks over that Holocaust comment?  Am I the only one who noticed that she came back early?  She was gone on a Wednesday and only missed six shows (she doesn’t do Fridays).  Why?  A curious thing happened – the shows sans Whoopi saw a loss of over 300K viewers!  When she returned, it’s been reported that The View saw “the biggest week-to-week gain for the entire show’s history”.  So, what was the net effect of Whoopi’s suspension?  Proving to ABC that she’s even more valuable than they thought.  Go ahead – suspend her again.  I dare you!

Let’s talk about the big news of the week – Bradley Cooper’s face.  It was almost enough to make his old “mentor”, James Lipton weep…if he weren’t dead.  Cooper walked the red carpet at the SAG Awards last week and it caused Ukraine-level chatter.  Here’s what one reporter said: “Showing almost no wrinkles on his beautiful baby-smooth mug, the 47-year-old left everyone wondering what – if anything – has he done to his face?”  Lots of things go into looking good.  I have a friend who sees someone who’s had a good night’s sleep and is well-lit and proclaims they’ve had reconstructive surgery.  Admittedly, Bradley appeared remarkably refreshed (but not anywhere near wrinkle-free – look around the eyes).  But you know what nobody mentioned?  How much wider his face was.  Comparing now-and-then photos are staggering.  And you know what fills in wrinkles best?  Extra weight.  Yes, you heard me – fat is God’s natural filler!  One plastic surgeon said it in a nicer way: “His muscles seem to be a lot more relaxed”.  Oh, my muscles are more relaxed than Sunny von Bulow’s!

One must mention SAG’s new president, the fantastic Fran Drescher.  Talk about someone who looked incredible!  You might think she’s made a pact with the devil, but Franny chalks it up to hard work…and a cadre of professionals.  Drescher dropped a video of a veritable SWAT team making her camera-ready.  And it only took three hours!  If I had professionals working on me that long…well, I’d look like Bradley Cooper.  Only thinner!

Our Ask Billy question comes from Karl in Chicago:  “I’ve been watching Pam and Tommy, but when will we see that episode with his talking penis?  It sounded weird when you wrote about it.  Maybe it got cut.”

Tommy is definitely cut, but that’s another story.  Pam and Tommy is a docuseries on Hulu.  Remember when we had “miniseries”?  Now we have “docuseries” – which I believe is a miniseries you have to pay to see.  While I have to give massive props – two massive props, actually – to Lily James as Pamela, let’s look a bit closer at Sebastian Stan as Tommy.  Karl obviously missed Episode 2, when Lily and Sebastian reenact much of the infamous sex tape.  At the 19-minute mark, they “reveal” themselves.  And two minutes later, Tommy’s penis starts talking in the bathroom.  The penis is very upset that Tommy wants to settle down with Pamela Anderson.  It wants to have some fun with such people as Jenny McCarthy and Denise Richards – apparently that penis isn’t a voting member of the Academy!  We know this isn’t Sebastian Stan’s penis, because we all saw that in the movie Monday.  But it’s still mighty impressive, and you can see it (and Stan’s real one) on BillyMasters.com.

I was happy that Todrick Hall had the opportunity to gain tons of new fans with his appearance on Celebrity Big Brother.  Alas, he blew it…pun intended.  Virtually every celebrity in the house hated him.  While most chalked his behavior up to strategy, Chris Kirkpatrick said Todrick crossed the line when he said Chris’ son would be ashamed of him.  Todrick sunk so low as to quote Shanna’s most terrifying moment (when an intruder tried to get into her car) when she was evicted.  He was completely shocked by the icy reception and eschewed all interviews after his second-place finish.  Perhaps Julie “You look beautiful” Chen Moonves said it best: “My heart hurt for him.  He was aware and he looked concerned…I pray he makes any and all amends to those he hurt and that people allow grace and forgiveness.”  Somehow, I doubt it.

It’s been a bad year for Wendy Williams.  First she got the coronavirus after telling Dr. Oz that she didn’t trust the vaccine.  Then her Graves’ disease flared up.  And then “something” kept her shuttered away.  But, this is a new Billy – looking at the bright side.  This gave my pal Sherri Shepherd an opportunity to do what she does best – jump into any situation and make it better.  Sherri’s natural light and ebullience brought joy to Wendy watchers.  But she couldn’t take over the show full-time – after all, she lives in California and has a contract with Dish Nation.  This meant there were other fill-in hosts.  Each and every one made Sherri look even better.  Therefore, I am pleased to announce that after The Wendy Williams Show shutters at the end of this season, it will be replaced by a new daytime talk show called Sherri.  Congrats!!!

No sooner had that announcement been made than Wendy fired her entire management team – including publicist Howard Bragman.  He had just issued a press release on Wendy’s behalf: “She, more than anyone, understands the reality of syndicated television – you can’t go to the marketplace and sell a show that’s The Maybe Wendy Show.  She understands why this decision was made from a business point of view, and she’s been assured by Debmar-Mercury that should her health get to a point where she can host again and should her desire be that she hosts again that she would be back on TV at that time.”  Shortly thereafter, Wendy posted this: “Mr. Bragman although I appreciate your concerns and respect you immensely I have not authorized you to make any statements on my behalf regarding my current status with Debmar-Mercury [producers of The Wendy Williams Show].  Again thanks for your continuing concern and support.”  Howard questions the veracity of that post.  So, what’s the positive side?  Maybe Wendy’s on the mend.  To be continued…

“I hope I shaved my nipples on those days because
I have the most embarrassing chest hair!”  
– Tom Holland discusses seeing his bare areolae in Uncharted on IMAX

When we can start with a couple of areolae and move south, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  All that positivity has left me exhausted.  For some real dirt, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that tells (and shows) all.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I get a job plucking Tom Holland’s nipples.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Gary in Houston: ”Did you see that footage of the hot guy jumping into the water to save a dog?  I heard there’s a video – can you track it down?”

The incident in question took place two weeks ago at the Kal’mius River in Donetsk, Ukraine – we’re nothing if not topical.  Two dogs were walking across the icy river.  The ice cracked, and one dog fell in and got entangled in some branches.  The other dog stood on the ice howling, which attracted some people.  Out of the crowd, a hunky Ukranian do-gooder stripped to his undies, waded into the water, and saved the petrified pup.  Of course, I will share the footage on BillyMasters.com.

When an icy Ukranian is getting me all hot and bothered, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  While I try to cool off, why don’t you check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that isn’t opposed to doing it doggie style.  If you have a question, send it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Gus shows off his Cockney.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Could somebody do some testing on Channing Tatum?  He continues to boggle the mind.  One week, the paparazzi snap him jogging shirtless through the streets, appearing to be well into his second trimester.  A few weeks later, he’s sporting cut abs and chiseled cheekbones.  I assume he’s aided either by some photographic skullduggery or some “medicine” heretofore only available to Russian Olympians.  Either way, I’m in – whatever the price.  Tatum recently did a photoshoot for VMan magazine where he appears to have turned back time – and not in the Cher way.  Sure, he’s not completely naked.  For those photos, you’ve got to go to BillyMasters.com. 

He’s probably getting back into shape for Magic Mike’s Last Dance.  He’s described this latest installment as the “Super Bowl of stripping”.  As someone who hosted male strip shows for years, I can assure you that most of my boys wouldn’t cut it at Arthur Murray (which, I realize, is a reference only Joy Behar could appreciate).  And Tatum agrees.  “I want dancing like we’ve never been able to do in the other two movies, because we had to be honest to what the reality of that world is, which isn’t great dancing.”  Of course, rarely did my dancers look as good as Chan in his prime.  An exception would be a very young pre-porn Ryan Idol – who, by the by, has recently been released from prison.  But that’s another story for another time.

All of these boys owe a debt of gratitude to the hunky Harry Hamlin, who made headlines playing gay 40 years ago in Making Love.  I’m sure you’ve all seen the recent headlines – which claim that Harry all but lost his career by playing a gay character.  That isn’t actually what he said.  The part that’s gotten all the attention is this: “For years, I’d think was that the reason why I stopped getting calls?  And finally realized that was the last time I ever did a movie for a studio…Even though I was straight, I think the perception at the time was that anybody who could play gay must be gay.”  However, he goes on to say this: “Regardless of the effect it has on my film career, I went on to have a great career – and I still do.  I’m very proud of having done that movie.  Now a gay love story can be told freely.”  It’s interesting to note that he did Making Love shortly after fathering a child with Ursula Andress.  It doesn’t get more heterosexual than that!

I promised you it would happen, and now it has – Will and Sonny are returning to Days of Our Lives.  The couple last appeared on Days of Our Lives: Beyond Salem this past fall – with Chandler Massey as Sonny and Zach Tinker as the recast Will.  The same duo will turn up on daytime Days this week – alongside the lovely Greg Rikaart, who is apparently taking a hiatus from his work on Young and the Restless.

“You can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished…
it was one of the worst competitions I’ve been in.”  
– Finland’s Remi Lindholm after completing the 50km cross-country skiing event at the Olympics. 
Perhaps his penis wouldn’t be so cold if he hadn’t finished 28^th!  Getting indoors didn’t help much. 
“When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable.”

So, the Olympics are over.  Ho-hum.  I didn’t watch a thing.  Sure, I enjoy seeing athletes in Lycra as much as the next gay man.  But I don’t want to spend another evening playing “Are those goose bumps or testicles?”  Meanwhile, Celebrity Big Brother is meandering to a lackluster close.  As of this writing, Todrick Hall still has a chance of winning.  Regardless of the outcome, he’s raised his visibility amongst average Americans…assuming anyone other than me was watching.

Remember when we first heard about Gus Kenworthy?  He had lots of endorsement deals and was featured in commercials as a proud US Olympian – resplendent with red, white and blue.  Now he’s limping to the end of his Olympic career…for England – still sporting red, white and blue.  Sure, he was born in England and is a credit to his sport.  But, I dunno – I find it all just a bit distasteful – not that I’ve tasted him…recently.  One reporter said that Gus “skied the way he wanted.”  Apparently, that included tumbling during the men’s halfpipe finals.  Shortly after that wipeout, he got through his final run on his feet – and then lifted his jacket to show off…no, not some skin…but a skintight gray T-shirt which read, “Openly British” on his left tittie (AKA the good one).  Oh, that Gus – such a scallywag.

Should anyone be keeping track, there were a record 36 openly gay Olympians in Beijing.  Six of those came from the US (not counting Gus) and eight from Canada.  The Canadians included the dashing Eric Radford, who is the first openly gay man to win gold at a Winter Olympics back in 2018.  One must also mention little Jason Brown, twirling his heart out for a personal best.  Timothy LeDuc is apparently the first non-binary Winter Olympian.  Lastly, I would think curling would attract more gays.  But sexy Bruce Mouat is the only gay in that sport – as captain of the British team.  I once had a nasty curling incident, but eventually you learn to unplug it.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Tom in Dallas: ”You mentioned Eric Dane eating ass in Euphoria.  But you haven’t mentioned the hottie sitting on the toilet when Cassie got out of the tub.  Was that real or another fake?”

According to Ansel Pierce (the actor on the can), it was real.  “Alright, so we’re sitting at about one day since Euphoria premiered…yes, that is me in the bathroom.  Not a prosthetic, got a lot of questions!”  So, he answered Tom’s question for us.  If you missed his 30 seconds of fame, we’ll show it on BillyMasters.com.

You’ve heard me often refer to the Filth2Go Twins, Gary and Larry Lane.  Ten years ago, the boys (who previously appeared on Fear Factor with Joe Rogan) released a documentary, Hollywood to Dollywood.  Aside from devotion to their beloved Dolly, they openly mused about the topics tackled in the film 9 to 5 – equality in the workplace, women’s rights, predatory behavior, to say nothing of imprisonment and attempted murder!  So, they had their next project.  Still Working 9 to 5 talks to all of the actors from the original, along with some other luminaries, about those very topics.  And, as a bonus, they somehow convinced Dolly to re-record the title song as a duet…with Kelly Clarkson!  The documentary will debut at the SXSW Film Festival in March.  Congrats!!!

It’s been a good week for FoB – Friends of Billy.  Just before I left LA, I got word that Sherri Shepherd entered into final negotiations to formally take over the show formerly known as The Wendy Williams Show.  There are details I’m not at liberty to discuss.  The producers had hoped Wendy would be able to return to her show at some point this season – a hope which seems to have flickered out.  While Sherri was always everyone’s first choice to take over, she’s under contract to Dish Nation through the end of this season – so just getting a week off here and there to fill in has been challenging.  Also, Sherri and her son Jeffrey live in LA, and Wendy films in NYC.  There are lots of details to work out…but I believe we’ll all know more very soon.

Alas, Wendy ain’t doing well on the personal front, either.  According to reports, her former financial advisor has told Wells Fargo Bank that Williams is “not of sound mind”.  As a result, Wendy has been restricted access to any of her money or financial records.  Shades of Britney.  Her attorney has filed an emergency petition to try to turn things around, but the bank is fighting back and wants a court to decide.  I hear the word “conservatorship” has been bandied about.  Stay tuned.

No sooner had I landed in Las Vegas when tragedy struck.  No Cinnabon!!  The airport location is temporarily closed.  Well, now we know why Adele cancelled!  I can’t speak for the songstress, but I had planned to carbo-load at Cinnabon for my entire fun-filled, four-day birthday weekend in Vegas.  Instead, I had to suffice with some hurriedly purchased Fig Newtons and dash off to see the girls of RuPaul’s Drag Race in their residency at the Flamingo.  Various alums have been part of this live show since it began in 2020.  The current cast features Derrick Barry, Kameron Michaels, Trinity K. Bonet, Jaida Essence Hall and the incredible Eureka O’Hara, with Asia O’Hara as host.  One mustn’t forget the Pit Crew which features five sexy men who are also fantastic dancers.  The production values in the Flamingo Showroom are ideally suited for this show – it’s all quite amazing.  In between the numbers, we were treated to some clever video clips featuring RuPaul herself.  Alas, some of the banter between numbers could have been better, and the show could be tighter.  But, these are minor quibbles.  If you are a Drag Race fan – and even if you’re not – it is a show not to be missed.  Grab tickets at Ticketmaster.com.

RuPaul shows no signs of slowing down when it comes to world domination.  Ru will be hosting a reboot of the game show Lingo for CBS.  I don’t remember Lingo, but I presume it’s some sort of a literal game – unless it’s short for “Cunni-Lingo”.  Turns out the show originally ran in 1987 and was hosted by Michael Reagan, son of President Ronald Reagan – so the bar is set pretty low.  Since the host is listed as “RuPaul Charles”, I presume he’ll be dressed as a boy.  By the by, Ru is also one of the executive producers.

As you know, Adele was unable to come up with a show for Caesars Palace that would justify the ticket price of hundreds (or, in some cases, thousands) of dollars.  Rather than just hoist herself on top of a piano and warble some ditties, she left her fans high and dry.  Around the same time, Legends in Concert re-opened at the Tropicana hosted by the legendary Frank Marino as Joan Rivers – and that’s always a cause for celebration.  As luck would have it, this incarnation of the revue stars a quartet of exceptional female singers – Tierney Allen as Lady Gaga, Janae Longo as Adele, Lisa McClowry as Cher and Elisa Furr as Celine Dion.  And they’re all fantastic!  As a gesture of goodwill, Legends in Concert is offering a limited number of free tickets to people who bought tix to the real Celine and Adele.  To take advantage of this offer, simply head on over to the Tropicana’s box office.

My last night in town was spent with a couple of legends who were also in concert – Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr.   They appeared at The Orleans Showroom, and it was a great way to not only celebrate my birthday, but also celebrate their Oscar nomination.  Marilyn and Billy are featured in Questlove’s Summer of Soul, which just got an Oscar nod for Best Documentary.  As to their show…what can I say?  They never disappoint.  In addition to all of the hits, they performed several numbers from their recent Lennon/McCartney collection entitled Blackbird.  It was a great concert and the capacity audience enjoyed every second of it.