Two Broadway babies are lobbying for Bravo to get into the theatre game.  Megan Hilty recently pitched Andy Cohen an idea – The Real Housewives of Broadway.  Andy said the idea had previously been discussed with Kristin Chenoweth and said he’d love to do it.  The Broadway/Housewives combination is not as outrageous as you’d think.  Quite a few Housewives have appeared on Broadway – including NeNe Leakes, Kandi Burruss and Erika Jayne.  Admittedly, they all appeared in the musical Chicago, but it’s a start.

We hear that Golden Globe winner Ariana DeBose has a plum project on the horizon.  She’s in discussions to lead a new production of Evita at the London Palladium.  You’ll recall that this is where the acclaimed revival of Sunset Boulevard with Nicole Scherzinger started.  In fact, this Evita will be directed by Jamie Lloyd – who directed Sunset.  Previews begin June 12^th.

Tom in Arizona provides this week’s Ask Billy question: “I saw Tom Holland on the cover of Men’s Health.  He looks amazing.  Has he ever posed nude??”

Well, there’s nude and then there’s nude.  While promoting one of those Spider-man movies, he told Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, “Essentially I’m naked in those movies because the suit is so skintight.”  And in Men’s Health, he certainly looks like a superhero.  However, it should be noted that he’s a little bit of a thing – not to be confused with having a little bit of a thing.  He’s 5’8” (barely) and weighs about 145 pounds – but can “bulk up” to a hefty 155.  That’s not a whole lotta body to whip into shape.  One of my favorite former porn pups is the buff and beautiful Tory Mason – who I think of as an adorable Muppet of the gay porn galaxy.  He likes to remind me that he’s perfectly proportioned (talk about someone who’s made big bucks taking and receiving sperm).  Anyway, if you’d like to check out Mr. Zendaya’s bod, head on over to BillyMasters.com.

When “influencer” is another term for “sperm donor”, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  In the “Men’s Health” article, I was struck by something Timothée Chalamet said: “Tom is the ultimate rizz master.”  In my haste, I thought Timmy was making some bold confession referring to Holland as a “jizz master”, which would have fit into this week’s column quite nicely.  Alas, “rizz” is a word the kids use for “charisma”.  For more bits that are lost in translation, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that brings you the rizz and the jizz!  If you want to share either with me, reach out and touch me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Babs shows up at that telethon!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

This column is being written prior to the Coronation…er, the Inauguration.  I don’t have lots of thoughts – other than I think it’s amusing that El Presidente believes Hollywood is in another country.  Why else would he need Special Ambassadors to Hollywood?  Unless he means “special” as in “special needs”.  Next, I really don’t care about Carrie Underwood, but I think anyone who can make a lot of money and get international exposure is lucky.  Good for her.  Yes, I know how many gay people feel.  One such fan posted this to Carrie: “Don’t ever call yourself an LGBTQ ally again, you’re supporting the man that wants to abolish LGBTQ rights, you should be ashamed.”  I’m ashamed that this person doesn’t know the difference between a comma and a period.  I have no problem with Nancy Pelosi sitting this out.  But I’d pay good money to watch her try to do “Y.M.C.A.” without breaking a hip!

You know what does shame me?  Seeing Joe Manganiello hosting Deal or No Deal Island.  First off…REALLY?  I don’t have oodles of respect for him as an “actor”, but even I think he’s better than this.  Apparently one of the trades thinks so – in writing about the show, they called him a “veteran actor”!  Well, any chance one gets to see Joe shirtless is fine by me.  But I’ve seen lots of reality shows, and I’ve rarely seen the hosts topless.

It’s the end of an era.  When acclaimed gay party promoter Jeffrey Sanker died in 2021, one thought his empire would crumble.  But it continued…although in a somewhat diminished capacity.  Last week, it was announced that the legendary White Party in Palm Springs (which typically takes place around Easter weekend) was cancelled.  They are not saying it’s gone for good, but it sure sounds like it.  “While it’s bittersweet to take a pause, this gives us an opportunity to reflect and explore new ways to innovate and evolve”.

Someone else taking a pause is Bobby Berk.  The former Queer Eye host sold his home in the Hollywood Hills.  First he’s drummed out of the show, then he’s drummed out of Hollywood.  We hear he will not relocate in the area.

Some people take a pause against their will.  Take Wendy Williams.  She’s been (allegedly) locked in a facility against her will with limited contact with family and friends.  Her crime?  None that I can think of.  People say they are doing it for her own good – but I don’t know how selling someone’s home, giving away their pets, confining them to a facility, and keeping them away from their father’s 94^th birthday is good.  Wendy found a way to get her message out directly – via Charlamagne The God and The Breakfast Club (you can hear the full interview on BillyMasters.com).  She called into the show last week sounding surprisingly lucid – aside from repeating “you know what I’m saying” about two thousand times.  I am completely Team Wendy on this.  Even if she is mentally compromised, why shouldn’t she be able to choose where and how she wants to live?  It’s a world gone mad.

Pope Franny is all for welcoming gay men into the priesthood on one condition – if they are willing to have “an orientation towards celibate life.”  Now, I’m no authority on Catholicism, but aren’t all priests – gay or straight – supposed to be celibate?  I looked it up and found this information: “The Catholic Church considers the law of clerical celibacy to be not a doctrine, but a discipline.”  And I’ve known my share of priests who like to be disciplined!  Anyway, the Pope has his own views: “The objective of the training for priesthood in the emotional-sexual sphere is the ability to welcome chastity in celibacy as a gift, to freely choose and to responsibly live it.”  It’s a gift?  As I tell most people when it comes to gifts, I’d rather have the cash!

I am never surprised at the stupidity of people.  But this chick in France takes the cake…or the gâteau!  She willingly handed over $850K to someone she met online who said he was Brad Pitt.  Let’s first start with this point – who out there believes a random message they get online is from the real Brad Pitt?  Hands?  OK, let’s say you believe it is really Brad Pitt – God only knows why.  Is there any universe in which you think he’s asking strangers for hundreds of thousands of dollars?  And riddle me this – if Max Emerson is getting $15K a pop to jerk off, how much could Brad Pitt make in a couple of hours?  Anyway, Frenchie says “Brad” told her he had cancer – but, shhh, it’s a secret he’d only tell random strangers online.  He needed money for treatment, and that bitch Angelina froze his accounts.  Is there any part of that story you would believe?  Max Emerson – sure.  Brad Pitt – I don’t think so.

“You’re a lot more interesting than I thought.”
– Cher to Josh Brolin after he discussed his memoir on The Graham
Norton Show in December.  After Cher promoted her memoir, Josh said,
“You remind me of my mom!”   Before you ask, he meant
his biological mom, not his stepmom who he refers to in the
book as “a singer”.  You know her as Barbra Streisand.

People like to bash the so-called Hollywood elite, but those privileged few know how to band together when the going gets tough.  Numerous fundraisers have been organized to help those decimated by the LA fires.  Josh Brolin is one of the stars spearheading LA Wildfire Relief LIVE – a telethon with a glittering lineup.  No word yet if he’s convinced his stepmom to step up (or, for that matter, his new pal Cher).  Then there’s FireAid, a benefit concert taking place in not one but two LA venues.  Others are involved with the SoCal Fire Fund on Charitybuzz.  There’s also a virtual benefit called LA Check In – which sounds like something you do at a Best Western!

Also victim of the fires were “influencers” Max Emerson & Andres Camilo.  Hours after their home succumbed to the flames (a home they renovated and heavily documented online), they announced they were separating.  Which begs the question – “Who?”  Actually, that’s somewhat unfair – I have at least heard of Max Emerson.  And one must applaud the posting of their separation announcement.  It was nestled between footage of their house burning down and a montage of near-nude photos of them in happier times.  Putting it into context, Max’s previous post was a video talking about becoming a sperm donor – for $15K a pop.  At that rate, he’ll be in a new house before you can say “Roll over!”  Some people got it and make it pay – some people can’t even give it away!

Our Ask Billy question comes from Kasey in Chicago: “I read that Nicholas Hoult was given a dildo as a gift from Nosferatu.  What’s that all about?”

First things first – I was shocked to learn Nicholas Hoult was straight!  Sure, he dated Jennifer Lawrence, but you know – whatever.  After I saw A Single Man, I was sure he was gay.  I dunno if it was the film, his eyebrows, or that angora sweater.  It just all screamed gay to me.  He’s apparently straight and has two kids.  Anyway, back to Kasey’s question – Nicholas starred in Nosferatu with Bill Skarsgård.  The dildo (it’s actually a prosthetic penis) belonged to Bill.  I’ll let Hoult explain: “I have Count Orlok’s prosthetic penis framed at home.  There’s a scene where Bill Skarsgård is slurping my blood and Robert Eggers [the director] asked, ‘How was that for you?’ and I said, ‘I could feel his prosthetic penis on my leg.”  After the filming wrapped, Eggers sent him the penis in a frame.  A curious codicil to this story is that at some point, the frame got broken.  So Nicholas brought it to a shop to be re-framed.  He was certain the guy would ask about the object, but he didn’t even bat an eye…until it was ready for pickup.  He asked Hoult, “Is this some kind of collector’s piece?”  Nicky said, “Yeah, you could say that.”  You could also see it on BillyMasters.com.

When straight men are collecting penises (penii?), it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  We should also note the death of Anita Bryant.  Sure, she was notably against gay rights, but I’ll always remember her as that Florida orange juice lady.  I know we tend to vilify people with different viewpoints, but I was nonetheless stunned when folks online were comparing Bryant to Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin.  Not only do I not think these are apt comparisons, it gives Anita just a tad too much importance.  She was certainly entitled to her opinion – just as others were entitled to protest her and, in one instance, pelt her with a banana cream pie (in refusing to press charges, she quipped, “At least it was a fruit pie!”).  She knew her views would be career suicide, but she had her convictions…something very few people do.  I know, I know – stick with hot nude men, Billy.  And you’ll find plenty of them on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that can’t be put in a box…or a frame!  If you’ve got something worth framing, send a photo along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I troll LA hot spots in hopes of running into Matt Gutman and David Muir!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

The last few weeks haven’t been great for Danny Pintauro.  It all started on Thanksgiving night when he had a mishap on one of those rental scooters (full disclosure – I use them all the time in LA).  He was in the bike lane (which I rarely am), when it suddenly was blocked with cone pylons.  He swerved only to find himself between a pylon and a van.  As he said, “The pylons hurt!”  While he initially thought he broke an arm, he ended up having an infection in his bloodstream due to a tear in his stomach lining.  An emergency laparotomy and abdominal surgery took place – followed by a long stay in ICU while intubated.  While he is doing better, his medical bills are daunting.  He started a GoFundMe page with a modest goal of $5K – which was reached quickly.  Still, I’m sure anything you could donate would be helpful: GoFundMe.com/dans-health-costs-from-the-scooter-accident.

By the by, you’ll recall that Alyssa Milano planned a reboot of Who’s The Boss? a couple of years back.  It bounced around several networks until it landed at Freevee – which itself is hanging on by a thread.  This may explain why the reboot plans were scuttled.  Throughout discussions, Milano talked about reuniting with Tony Danza and hopes that Judith Light would pop in.  But I don’t recall the word “Pintauro” being uttered – not that udders are his department.  It gave some credence to rumors that the twosome didn’t get along…which I found somewhat amusing, because if anyone loves the gays, it’s Milano!  Anyway, in writing about the LA fires, Danny said the following: “My dear friend Alyssa Milano has been posting some incredibly helpful links to various charities and assistance programs so I’m going to ask you to rely on her wonderful content at this time.”  He may no longer have her phone number, but he’s still following her on social media!

I’m not someone who typically goes to these fan conventions, but even I am tempted by the lineup for MegaCon in Orlando in February.  Sure, my feathers got fluffed with the thought of Dolph Lundgren, Tom Welling, Brandon Routh and Grant Gustin in the same room.  But there are also some special reunions scheduled.  Fans of Happy Days can snag a snap with the gang from Arnold’s – Ron Howard, Henry Winkler, Anson Williams and Donny Most in the same booth.  If you’re a bit younger, you can purchase a pic with stars from The Breakfast Club – Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, and Anthony Michael Hall.  Who says you can’t go home again?  Check out FanExpoHQ.com/MegaConOrlando.

Should you be in the Las Vegas area, you might wanna check out the annual GayVN Awards.  Sponsored by Adult Video News, these awards celebrate the best in gay porn, and I should know – I’m a judge.  These shows always need a sassy gay man to hold things together, so they’ve once again enlisted Alec Mapa as host.  The statues will be presented on January 20^th – God knows what will be done with them after that!  The place?  The Virgin Hotels Las Vegas – as apt a spot as any.  You can find tix and information on AVN.com/gayvnawards.

Hours after her Golden Globes win for Hacks, Jean Smart inadvertently stepped in it…as one does.  “With ALL due respect, during Hollywood’s season of celebration, I hope any of the networks televising the upcoming awards will seriously consider NOT televising them and donating the revenue they would have garnered to the victims of the fires and the firefighters.”  You see, Jean, the problem is that revenues come from ad sales.  No telecast, no ads, no revenue.  Many of her peers ganged up on the designing woman saying that no awards shows would put them all out of work.  Her heart was in the right place, but perhaps this idea wasn’t fully baked.

Speaking of the Golden Globes, Nikki Glaser knocked it out of the park – all while having her own Golden Globes proudly propped up front and center.  Days before, most people never heard of her – making this overnight success one of the longest nights in history.  Rumor has it that she earned just over $400K for the gig – roughly half of what they paid Ricky Gervais.  Even our own Jerrod Carmichael (far more of an unknown than Glaser) got half a mil for hosting in 2023.  Sounds like a gender issue to me.  The Nikkster said she didn’t care about the money.  “I honestly would have done it for free.”  Nikki, Nikki, Nikki – never say things like that out loud.

“I don’t want to be in a relationship.  It’s not for me.  It never was…
I’m straight; everybody thinks I’m gay.  But I don’t care what I am. 
Whatever.  It doesn’t matter.  I really put blinders on…
my work, my work, my work.  Any time something gets in the way,
I just kind of block it out.”
– Hit songwriter Diane Warren setting the record straight.  She’ll have
a whole lot to block out going forward because she’s one of the
people who lost her home in the Los Angeles Fires.

For the past 25 years, I’ve called Los Angeles home.  While I’m not there right now, my heart aches for those suffering within spitting distance of my Beverly Hills adjacent abode.  As we learned, spit, a garden hose, or a pump from the pool is no match for dry weather, intense winds, and flying embers.  Still, we must look at the bright side – which for most people is seeing an outpouring of help from professionals and civilians alike.  For me, it’s seeing ridiculously hot men on TV.  A disheveled Matt Gutman was covered in soot, winding his way through flying ash and debris – and looking better than I’ll look on my best day.  ABC then cut to David Muir, overhead in a helicopter knee-to-knee with a hot fireman, and talking via remote to a cumly civilian named Jakob Brown (see him on BillyMasters.com).  Say what you will about Mrs. Muir, it takes a special kinda newsman to incorporate the famous corset scene from Gone with the Wind into coverage of a disaster.  That’s Hollywood!

Lots of folks are stepping up.  People have opened up their homes to those displaced.  Small and large businesses alike are providing goods and services to those in need.  They’re even helping orphaned animals.  Then there’s the Guitar Center.  “Did you lose musical instruments in the L.A. Fires?  Fill out our request form to get your equipment replaced at zero cost.”  It may seem insignificant to people, but it’s a great gesture.  Naturally, there’s a long history of fires and music going hand in hand.  After all, Emperor Nero allegedly fiddled while Rome burned!

Our first Ask Billy question of the year comes from Ray in Seattle.  “What do you know about Denali Foxx?  I just saw some pics he posted online and couldn’t get over his really hot body.  Has he ever done porn?”

I’m always glad to talk about someone I’ve never heard of.  Denali Foxx (aka Denali) was on RuPaul’s Drag Race back in 2021.  Looking online, I see Ray is correct – Denali is quite buff.  Not a big surprise, because many of the most fetching fellas who wear frocks are in incredible shape.  His birth name is Cordero Matthew Zuckerman, and here’s a fun fact – he’s a double gold medalist in US Figure Skating!  He also worked with Cirque du Soleil, Royal Caribbean Cruises, and SeaWorld – but don’t hold that against him.  Last year he got engaged to longtime beau Alexander.  He posted this: “Six years ago you asked me to dance…and six years later I asked you to marry me on your 30^th”.  I don’t believe they’ve tied the knot…yet.  To answer Ray’s other question, I don’t find any evidence that Denali has done gay porn – but I bet he’d be pretty popular, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re kicking off the year talking about Blake Lively, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Here’s yet another fun fact – most drag queens out there are tops!  They’ll fuck you with their pumps on (don’t ask me how I know).  More bits of my sage wisdom can be found on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that certainly ain’t botched.  New year, new questions.  Send them along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Lindsay Wagner makes another movie!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Wendy Williams rang out the new year by landing back in the news.  On the positive side, she was celebrating her son Kevin’s college graduation in Miami.  Paparazzi spotted her outside a restaurant on a scooter – yes, a scooter.  She was overheard yelling to someone, “And then both of you walked away leaving my shit in the street?  Just get the car, please – and make sure it’s the right car!”  When asked if everything was OK, she explained that her caretakers called the wrong car.  While they went to find the right car, they left her scooter unattended and she was not having it.  “This cost a fucking mint, and they just left my shit out here.”  At least she sounds feisty.

It’s only the first week of January and we’ve already got a story that we’re filing under Strange But True – and, no, it’s not about Blake Lively!  This is about someone I hold in almost equal esteem – Keanu Reeves.  Sidebar: a few months ago, I told you that he’s reuniting with his Bill and Ted co-star, Alex Winter, for a Broadway revival of Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett.  Didya know that production will be staged by Jamie Lloyd, who directed the hit revival of Sunset Blvd?  And, no, none of this has anything to do with the current story.  Last year, Keanu’s LA home was burgled.  Fast forward to final days of 2024, and police in Santiago, Chile seized loads of stolen property.  And what do they find?  A Rolex inscribed, “Keanu Thank you JW4 2021”.  It was a thank you gift he received at the wrap party of one of those John Wick movies that I’ve never seen.

Before we filed this column, I saw this headline: “Josh Duhamel, Dylan Sprouse & Til Schweiger To Topline Action Thriller The Neglected”.  OMG, have I fallen into a time warp?  Is it 1995 all over again???

Just before 2024 closed, a couple of deaths crept in.  The first was the beloved Linda Lavin, who died on December 29^th.  Her representative stated, Linda passed “unexpectedly due to complications from recently discovered lung cancer”.  Days earlier, she wrapped filming on the seventh episode of Mid-Century Modern – a sitcom for Hulu already being called a gay Golden Girls.  It concerns three gay men who live together in Palm Springs, one of whom (Nathan Lane) is accompanied by his mother (Linda Lavin).  When Linda learned of her diagnosis, we hear she told producers she wanted “everything out there on the show”.  There are already plans to write her character’s passing into the penultimate episode of the first season.  What will happen during season two?  Stay tuned.

Hours before midnight, Jocelyn Wildenstein died on New Year’s Eve.  Affectionately known as The Catwoman, Jocelyn was the face of bad plastic surgery – the epitome of the word “botched”.  She was also a very wealthy lady, receiving a $2.5 billion divorce settlement and alimony of roughly $100 million per year!  Her longtime companion, Lloyd Klein, said she died while taking a nap prior to heading out for the festivities – “just to look good before getting dressed”.  How’d that work out?  By the by, the 84 year-old never admitted to any of her “procedures”.  

Believe me when I say this next story shocks me.  I can’t believe it, but I have to kick off the New Year talking about Blake Lively.  But I was intrigued when I saw there were claims of sexual harassment.  How disappointing to find out that in the marriage of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, the one being sexually harassed is…BLAKE!  It’s a world gone loco.  She filed a suit against Justin Baldoni, co-star and director of It Ends With Us (he’s quite a looker, too).  He claims that his countersuit will “shock everyone”.  I don’t know how many shocks I can take – I’m already shocked I’m writing about Blake Lively!  In Baldoni’s $250 million suit against The New York Times, he talks about a meeting with Lively and Reynolds.  Allegedly Ryan “aggressively berated Baldoni during a meeting at their penthouse in New York, accusing him of ‘fat shaming’ Lively.”  Justin says it wasn’t “fat shaming”.  He says he simply asked how much Miss Lively weighed before a scene where he had to pick her up.  Why?  Baldoni has chronic back issues and wanted “to ensure he could safely perform the lift without injury.”  Calm down, Justin.  You’re lifting Blake Lively – not Chrissy Metz (and that’s not fat shaming – that’s just physics).

“If any young people are watching, at a certain point in your
life, you will become the people you used to make fun of. 
And that’s what we’ve become.”
– Anderson Cooper during his New Year’s Eve telecast with Andy Cohen.

I dunno how it took 29 years of columns and scores of Hallmark movies for me to finally recognize the truth in something I’ve said for years – you CAN’T have it all.  People tell you that you can, but let me tell you the first truth of the New Year.  Life is full of hard choices.  If you really want one thing, you must miss out on something else.  If you want to lie on the beach, you cannot be in Antarctica.  Take it from me…and Lacey Chabert.

Let’s make that my New Year’s resolution – to tell you the absolute truth…as often as humanly possible.  So here’s one – for the first time in decades, I did not ring in the New Year with a Lindsay Wagner movie.  That’s because Miss Wagner didn’t make a movie this year.  I ran into this problem last year, when I reached out to the producer of When Jack Came Back – a film that hadn’t yet come out (it can now be seen on Tubi).  I was one of the first people who got to see Lindsay playing a mother with Alzheimer’s.  How many of her dozens of fans around the world can say that?

Speaking of ailing parents, the news is not good from Casa Masters.  It started a few months ago with Big Daddy.  Now Big Mama is laid up.  And you know who picks up the slack…among other things?  Yours truly.  You know what a crimp this puts into my sex life?  “What’s that beeping?  That’s just Mama’s life support, baby.  Does it turn you on?  No, that steady noise doesn’t mean anything!”  It’s been hell!  I certainly don’t begrudge them the care and attention they deserve.  And I certainly don’t wish them ill.  But lately I’m starting to envy Conan O’Brien.

Patti LuPone hosted a swanky New Year’s Eve shindig with a number of queer (and queer-adjacent) guests.  Folk like Randy Rainbow, Cole Escola, and…wait a minute – was that Nicole Scherzinger?  Yes, the former Norma Desmond and the current Norma Desmond joined forces for a spirited rendition of “Auld Lang Syne” – complete with at least two-and-a-half part harmony.  That they didn’t duet on “The Perfect Year” is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity lost forever.  At least they toasted each other with Norma’s last line from act one of Sunset Blvd – which you can see on BillyMasters.com.  BTW, after their duties on CNN, both Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen slipped into the soirée – at least I think it was a soirée they slipped into.

By the by, Patti is everywhere.  After enjoying a scenery-chewing role on Agatha All Along, we hear La LuPone will be featured on several episodes of And Just Like That… – whenever that long-awaited third season drops.

When Jenifer Lewis plummeted from her Tanzania balcony into the Serengeti, it was touch and go – and I’m not just talking about the cape buffalo that threatened to compromise her!  Her life-threatening injuries led to a miraculous comeback, punctuated with an appearance on The Masked Singer as CleoCatra.  After singing in Spellbound, she went to Disney World to open Tiana’s Bayou Adventure – based on The Princess and the Frog.  When the VIP premiere of the ride came to a screeching halt, did she panic?  Nope.  She launched into an a capella version of her song from the flick, “Dig a Little Deeper”, which you can see on BillyMasters.com.

I was delighted to hear the news that my pals Sherri Shepherd and Fran Drescher will be getting stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2025.  Sometimes good things happen to good people.

The death of reclusive Richard Simmons shocked me – especially since Pauly Shore planned to star in a biopic.  Perhaps Simmons’ last words were “over my dead body”!  Gay baseball star Billy Bean, Madonna’s brother Christopher Ciccone, Mitzi Gaynor, Teri Garr, Gavin Creel and Ken Paige were a few others that will be missed.

What’s a year without Fayewatch?  Miss Dunaway was back – the hit of all of Europe and Cannes – with Faye, a documentary about…well, her!  Lots of acclaim, a few awards, and then…nothing.  Well, not exactly nothing.  She got a small role in the film Fate starring Andrew McCarthy and Harvey Keitel.  So, it’s nothing-adjacent!

When Justin’s getting off with a slap on the wrist, it’s time to end another year of columns.  I never thought Justin and I would have something in common – although the slaps that get me off are elsewhere on my anatomy.  This is only a smattering of what you’ll find on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that has delivered day in and day out for close to 30 years.  If you have a question, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before freedom of speech is abolished.  So, until next year, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Another Drake also made news when the singer was seen pleasuring himself on the bed in his private jet!

Proving anyone can have a comeback, Nick Gruber was back in the news by turning up ON the (local) news!  Calvin Klein’s ex resurfaced, demanding his former landlords return his property, purloined prior to a period in the pokey.  Alas, they claim to have donated his discarded wares to the Mormon Church.  The good news?  He’s single.

Shake-ups on shows – particularly reality shows – are common.  But will we ever find out if Bobby Berk quit or was fired from Queer Eye?  And will the hiring of the lovely Jeremiah Brent be embraced?  Don’t touch that dial.

Jonathan Groff made tongues wag with the first same-sex kiss for Doctor Who.  Groff topped that with a Tony win for Merrily We Roll Along.  Next year, he returns to Broadway in a new musical about Bobby Darin.

Turning to the little show that could, Cole Escola’s Oh, Mary! (punctuated like Hello, Dolly!) went from an off-Broadway cult sensation to the hottest ticket on Broadway.  I predicted the transfer wouldn’t work – and I was wrong.  I also predicted that replacing Cole with Betty Gilpin would kill the show.  Well, I’ve been wrong before.

Shawn Mendes took to the stage at Red Rocks to perform a new song, “The Mountain”, and discuss his oft-rumored-about sexuality.  “The real truth about my life and sexuality is that, man, I’m just figuring it out like everyone else.  I don’t really know sometimes, and I know other times…I’m trying to be really brave and allow myself to be a human and feel things.  And that’s all I really want to say about that for now.”  To be continued…

Schadenfreude is taking pleasure at someone’s misfortune.  I may not speak German, but I knew I had loads of material when Justin Timberlake was arrested on suspicion of DUI early on a June morning.  Then we saw his mug shot.  Damn, he even looked good in that!  That he got off with a slap on the wrist was no surprise.  Still, I was more than a bit tickled when I learned that the arresting officer had no clue who he was!

Speaking of hot guys, the Paris Olympics provided scads of scantily clad studs.  Naturellement, the French stole the show.  Synchro divers Jules Bouyer and Alexis Jandard posted the most provocative photos from the shower with the caption “Welcome to @Paris2024”.  They were bested by France’s premier vaulter Anthony Ammirati, whose ponderous package pushed his pole too close to the crossbar.  He walked away with a $250K offer to do porn.

Gay porn stud Austin Wolf made headlines when the feds raided his house and arrested him for sending and receiving child porn images and videos.  His preliminary hearing keeps getting delayed.  When setting the fifth date of December 27^th, Judge Barbara Moses said the extension “best serves the ends of justice and outweighs the best interest of the public and the defendant in a speedy trial.”  His judge is a woman?  He’s fucked.  It will come as no surprise that on December 27th, the Government requested yet a further continuance of 30 days.  The defendant agreed.  The judge agreed.  The latest new trial date (the sixth) is January 27, 2025.  

TV documentaries were the catalyst for several scandals.  Lifetime’s Where is Wendy Williams? may not have surprised us, but it was still shocking.  Despite her health issues, she was out in August shopping for holistic aids.

The Netflix doc White Hot: The Rise & Fall of Abercrombie & Fitch focused on tawdry activity by CEO Mike Jeffries.  The year ended with him in a Palm Beach courtroom facing sex trafficking charges.  But is he mentally competent?  I think so, but paperwork has been filed and there is a February 6^th deadline for medical evaluation.

UK’s Channel 4 ran Spacey Unmasked which focused on Kevin’s alleged victims.  Then a funny thing happened – Spacey fought back.  Sure, he’s defended himself in court.  But now he sat with Piers Morgan for a full 90 minutes…and even admitted to being “handsy”!  Since then, many stars spoke up on his behalf.  People like Sharon Stone, F. Murray Abraham and Liam Neeson publicly called for him to have a second chance.  Will it happen?

There’s not much more to say about those poor, misunderstood Menéndez brothers.  Between a docudrama and a documentary, public support was on their side – as was most of their surviving family.  But an election that ousted sympathetic LA DA George Gascón and installed incoming DA Nathan Hochman could thwart any hope the boys had.  As the year drew to a close, Lyle’s wife Rebecca filed for divorce!  You know – just in case he gets out.

The lurid documentary Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV enumerated the many misdeeds against child actors.  While most of the claims were decades old, they nonetheless provoked strong feelings and shock.  Plus, how can you ignore any show that makes a star of Drake Bell – who, I dare say, looked quite fetching.

“So today is Anal Sex Day.  If you’re into it, great, if not,
don’t feel pressured.  But if you were thinking about it,
I guess today is as good a day as any.”
– Dr. Ruth Westheimer Tweets her thoughts on April 18, 2024. 
She died three months later, forever remembered for promoting (safe) anal sex!

Time for our 29^th installment of the Year in Review.  The person I will remember most this year is Shannen Doherty.  In 2024, she reclaimed her power and spoke her truth.  True, she didn’t beat cancer, but she bravely faced it head-on.  Her podcast, Let’s Be Clear, became a living autobiography.  She and Holly Marie Combs explained what went down on Charmed from their perspective, she reunited with some 90210 co-stars, and talked with many loved ones.  She even planned her own memorial.  “There’s a lot of people that I think would show up that I don’t want there… So I kinda want to take the pressure off them and I want my funeral to be like a love fest.  I don’t want people to be crying or people to privately be like, ‘Thank God that bitch is dead now.’”

It was also the Year of Cher.  Sure, it ended with an induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and acclaim for part one of her autobiography.  But it began with her trying to control/save her son, Elijah Blue Allman.  Depending who you ask, Cher may have had him abducted from a NYC hotel room and put into an undisclosed rehab – while trying to become his conservator.  But then, Elijah dramatically appeared in court with on-again/off-again wife Mariangela!  After months of battling, Cher dropped her legal challenges.  After all, she had that book to promote.

Nicole Scherzinger kicked off the year wowing London audiences by starring in a radical revival of Sunset Blvd.  She repeated that feat on Broadway, a triumph which was short-lived.  She inadvertently alienated some fans with a social media post that was interpreted as pro-MAGA.  Will Patti LuPone’s effusive endorsement help, or has Nicole already lost the Tony Award 6 months before nominations?  With Audra in the race, it probably doesn’t matter.

One minute we’re told Celine Dion is at death’s doorstep, the next thing you know she’s onstage at the Grammys.  Then she’s singing at the Olympics.  And then at a fashion show.  Whether it was live or Memorex didn’t matter.  The fact that she walked out there unassisted was a victory.

The death of reclusive Richard Simmons shocked me – especially since Pauly Shore planned to star in a biopic.  Perhaps Simmons’ last words were “over my dead body”!  Gay baseball star Billy Bean, Madonna’s brother Christopher Ciccone, Mitzi Gaynor, Teri Garr, Gavin Creel and Ken Page were a few others that will be missed.

Last year, one of the most popular gifts we suggested was Tom Daley’s knitting kit.  Yes, you too could learn how to make a “cock cozy” with your very own hands – although, frankly, I preferred real hands keeping my cock cozy.  As with so many other hot men who have charged for their services, Tom is now giving his away.  And he’s giving them away on the public airways!  “You know me.  I love a bit of competition.  But lately, it’s been less about the pool, and more about the…wool.  So I’m super excited to announce that I’m going to be hosting a brand new knitting competition show.”  Did I miss an “old knitting competition show”?  Well, Tom’s venture will be called (wait for it) – Game of Wool.  Doesn’t that make you all a-quiver?  Or, at the very least, itchy?  A competitive knitting show?  What could be more scintillating?  C-SPAN springs to mind.  The eight-episode run will focus on amateurs creating numerous objets d’art.  It will air on UK’s Channel 4, but I’m sure you’ll be able to find it on YouTube eventually.  

And now, the final installment of Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions.  We saved this one for last because you can’t get it yet.  Sexy Matteo Lane is not only a talented comedian, he’s also a good cook with a rockin’ ass (FYI, my computer autocorrected this to “he’s also a good cock”).  He has a new book coming out on April 1^st.  Your Pasta Sucks: A ‘Cookbook’, has a cover featuring Matteo bending over a pot of pasta in an apron, some undies, and a smile.  Well, he’s smiling because it’s his pasta.  You’ll smile because…well, ‘cause he’s bending over!  In fact, the bottom of the photo has this phrase: “Flip Me Over”.  Gladly.  People tell me the book is terrific – with hysterical anecdotes and some actual recipes.  You can pre-order it on Amazon.”

In our final Ask Billy question of 2024, Roger in Chicago asks, “What can you tell me about Jermelle Simon?  His character on The Upshaws is gay.  What about him?  He’s so funny…and hawt!”

Jermelle may have had a hand in his character coming out – something that happened in 2023.  He was not out at the time, but he changed that on October 11, 2024 – National Coming Out Day.  “I have decided that I am enough, and I want to thank everyone who has helped me to get to that place where I feel seen, where I feel like I belong, where I feel loved.  Thank you for providing a space where I can come on the internet and say, ‘I am a Black gay man.’”  Actually, he’s a hot Black gay man – and we’ll prove it with some sizzling snaps on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re cooking up more hot gay men, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  And that got me thinking – people come out each and every day.  Yet, the ones people always ask me about are the hot ones.  Why doesn’t anyone write in a question about some fatty who likes men?  While I ponder pounding that, let’s slip in one last-minute gift suggestion.  I bet anyone reading this would probably enjoy a membership to www.BillyMasters.com – the site that makes a perfect stocking stuffer.  In fact, I’m willing to personally do that for you – regardless of girth.  Just send a note with an address along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to cum down your chimney before the New Year!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

I may not have seen the revival of Sunset Blvd on Broadway (yet), but heaven knows I’ve written about it enough.  However, Patti LuPone did see it and just weighed in.  I guess she was curious.  After all, she did originate the role of Norma Desmond onstage.  And certainly she’s conflicted about the show (aside from that whole Glenn Close thing).  What did she think?  “I went in with trepidation because I have strong feelings about ‘the show’ – not what happened to me in the show, but ‘the show’ – period.  I loved this production!  I thought Nicole [Scherzinger] and Tom [Francis] were stunning.  I thought Nicole was unbelievable – she broke my heart.  She is a force!  I thought the cast was fantastic.  The lighting, the use of the filming was something that I questioned because I don’t know where I am – am I in a movie or I’m at the theatre?  This worked brilliantly.  The whole thing.  The WHOLE thing.  I was energized when I left the theatre.  I love it!”  Put that on the side of a bus!

Wicked is everywhere for the holiday, and that isn’t making everybody happy.  One Million Moms is campaigning against the film for subliminal gay content.  It all started when Ariana Grande said, “Glinda might be a little in the closet.  You never know.  Give it a little more time.”  Original Broadway Glinda Kristin Chenoweth said, “I thought so too way back when…”  This queer chatter got the Moms’ panties in a collective knot.  Krissy wasn’t having it, and issued the following statement: “Everyone knows that the ‘one million Moms’ are a mere few hundred.  Maybe.  It’s called entertainment.  Artistry.  I am a Christian woman [who] originated the role of Glinda and all the silliness that these women spew out of hate.  No no no.  I can’t help it: I try to love ‘em anyways.  For they don’t get it.  For anyone who wants to see girl power, then go [see] WICKED.  Onstage or in a movie theater.”

I previously told you that Bob Mackie was auctioning off a number of his creations.  Well, Miley Cyrus made sure that her favorite frock didn’t end up on the auction block.  She wore a Mackie original at the most recent Grammys, and she wanted that dress…bad!  She contacted Bob and made a deal, with the profits going to MusiCares.  “As the designer of this dress, I couldn’t imagine it on anyone else.  That girl was born to perform!” said Mackie.

The day after the Mackie sale, property belonging to Olivia Newton-John hit Julien’s Auctions.  I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, but Livvy’s leather jacket from Grease went for just under half a million dollars!

A new version of the TV series Prison Break has gotten the green light from Hulu.  While this is not technically a reboot, you may see a few familiar faces since it takes place “within the same universe”.  Both Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell (the hot brothers at the center of the original series) have said they will not participate.

Nobody is safe from the homeless crisis, and that includes the venerable Sesame Street.  No, they’re not introducing a displaced family.  But the show itself will soon be homeless!  Since 2016, HBO has been producing new episodes of the beloved classic.  Their 10-year agreement is up soon, and HBO has opted to not renew.  While that leaves new episodes up in the air, Max will continue to be the repository of the library until 2027.

Speaking of shows geared to kids of all ages, Disney pulled the old switcheroo for Pixar’s Win or Lose.  The streaming series debuts on Disney+ in February, but it’ll be a bit different than planned.  It’s still about a co-ed middle school.  The later episodes were supposed to include a very minor transgender storyline.  How minor?  So minor it’s now been cut.  Disney said, “When it comes to animated content for a younger audience, we recognize that many parents would prefer to discuss certain subjects with their children on their own terms and timeline.”

I definitely didn’t miss the reunion of Hairspray ladies Marissa Jaret Winokur, Laura Bell Bundy and Kerry Butler.  No, I didn’t see Mama, I’m a Big Girl Now off-Broadway, but I saw it pre-NYC at The Wallis in Beverly Hills.  I’m told that the New World Stages run was a smash with most shows sold out.  Being in the Big Apple, many Hairspray friends and family dropped in – like creators Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman, Andrew Rannells, Ross Mathews, Jonathan Groff, and even original Link, Matthew Morrison – who joined the gals for “I Can Hear the Bells”.  It’s a great moment, which you can see on BillyMasters.com.

“Jesus Forgives.  Santa holds a grudge.”
– Sara Haines’ quip on The View when Sunny Hostin
argued it was wrong to use Santa to blackmail children to behave.

With the year swiftly coming to an end, we come to our last column before Christmas.  Next week, we review the best of 2024.  So I thought this week we’d update some recent stories.  Let’s start with one of my favorite people, Belinda Carlisle.  In 2014, she co-founded Animal People Alliance (APA), taking care of displaced animals in Asia.  Since 2021, she’s hosted a holiday party at The Abbey in West Hollywood as a major fundraiser.  Every year, I swear I’ll go – and every year, I’m already back east with the family.  This year was no different, so I missed out on the fabulous festivities that brought in about $186K.  It was hosted by Sandra Bernhard and performers included Taylor Dayne and Michelle Visage (in addition to Carlisle herself).  Congrats!

By the by, Belinda’s son, James Duke Mason, recently went to the swanky soirée of stylist René Horsch.  Dukey posted one photo that caught my eye – with Dame Joan Collins.  What’s interesting about that is before marrying Belinda, Duke’s dad Morgan Mason dated Dame Joan!  One doesn’t think of Carlisle and Collins in the same category, so I’m not sure Morgan has what I’d call a “type”…aside from gay icons!

Everyone’s been waiting with bated breath to see what Armie Hammer’s next move will be on the comeback trail.  Who would have ever thought he’d be playing a cannibal?  He appears in singer Georgie Leahy’s new music video for “Typical Squeeze” playing Kannibal Ken.  Well, Hammer does look like a Ken doll come to life (no offense to either of the Ryans), but still…

Dolls are always popular gifts for the holidays.  So in our latest installment of Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions, we are delighted to feature a special Barbie – this one featuring a red-hot Rita Moreno in a replica of what she wore to the 1962 Oscars (where she won).  The spitfire, who just celebrated her 93^rd birthday, is in a black and gold gown, opera gloves, and an up-do.  This is the perfect gift for the special someone who loves his legendary ladies…or is a Barbie devotee.  Pick it up at Amazon for a cool $40 – with guaranteed delivery by Christmas (which probably includes Kwanzaa, Chanukah, the Winter Solstice, and any of those other holidays that include dancing naked around some rocks).

Say you have someone in your life who is a bit saucier.  What about one of those dolls inspired by the movie-musical version of Wicked?  And it’s worth extra if it lists the Wicked.com website, directing tykes to a straight porn site that I wouldn’t be caught dead frequenting.  This is a gift selection that is also ripped from the headlines.  Holly Ricketson from Edgefield County, South Carolina is suing Mattel because her little girl went to the site and is scarred for life.  While I kinda suspect this is the least scarring thing that has happened to the younger Ricketson, I can appreciate her mom’s litigious ingenuity.  While perhaps not germane to this story, there is a Holly Rebecca Ricketson from North Augusta, South Carolina who was arrested in 2017 for disorderly conduct.  This whole suit sounds like a case that could have been encouraged by a lawyer who might advertise on Fox and Friend.  

Once again, a perfect segue to our Ask Billy question.  Marcus in Dallas asks, “Why did Jonathan Bailey need a body double in Wicked?  And what do you know about this insanely hot guy?”

Sexy Tom Mather isn’t a body double like someone filling in for Bailey’s ass (hmm).  He’s actually an acclaimed dancer who has strutted his stuff on stage and screen.  But, yes, he’s an undeniable looker – both in clothes and out.  His torso has one of those ripped, smooth 8-packs that straight porn boys would kill for and most gay men seem to have naturally.  Not that I’m implying I know anything about Mather’s sexuality – not that it mathers (see what I did there?).  I’m told he did some of Fiyero’s more difficult dance moves – which he probably had some familiarity with since he appeared in the London production of Wicked.  He can currently be seen in Moulin Rouge! in the West End and has previously been the lead in Nutcracker (insert your own joke).  The next best thing to seeing him in person is checking out the loads of luscious snaps – in and out of his Fiyero boots – on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re dreaming of a nutcracker in thigh-high boots, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  You put him in Rita’s opera gloves and you definitely have a look to remember.  While visions of nuts cracking dance in my head, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t care where you pee – or if you film it, for that matter.  And if you need a question answered, I am delighted to be there whenever you need me – day, night, wee small hours, perhaps sharing an after-dinner drink in front of a blazing fireplace.  If you have something like that in mind, drop a note to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Armie replaces Cathy Moriarty in I’ll Eat You Last – which I bet is quite a compliment from Kannibal Ken!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Comedian Rob Schneider claims he is launching an “all-ladies talk show” that will offer an alternative to The View.  “It will be the opposite because this will be entertaining.  It’ll be funny.”  Darling, it’s been done – it’s called The Talk, and it goes off the air on December 20^th due to low ratings!  Schneider is producing the effort with his company, No Apologies Media, and made the announcement on FOX News.  He didn’t report many particulars.  When it came to hosts, he said, “It’s household names, and you’re going to love it.”  That remains to be seen.  Oh, he did bring up potential names for the show: Lip Service or The Other View.  How original!

In a related story, my dear Darlene Love announced that she is returning to late night to perform her perennial holiday classic, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”.  As you know, Love sang the song on The Late Show with David Letterman for 28 consecutive years.  When Dave went off the air, she began appearing on The View – that lasted for nine years.  Apparently The View is going in another direction – which is odd since their executive producer, Brian Teta (who may be a cousin of mine), worked for Letterman!  Enter Jimmy Fallon, who appeared with Darlene once on The View.  He picked up the gauntlet and asked her to sing the song on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon along with Stevie Van Zandt’s band on December 18^th.  Fun fact – Little Stevie and his band played with Darlene last year on The View!  Anyhoo, congrats.

Barry Manilow just got the best holiday gift of all.  The founder and executive chairman of the Westgate Las Vegas Resort & Casino announced Barry has a “Lifetime Residency” at their showroom.  In case you don’t know, the Westgate opened in 1969 as The International.  The showroom where Barry is playing opened with a young gal named Barbra Streisand.  Miss Peggy Lee was performing in the lounge.  So Manilow is in good company – unless Babs wants to make another comeback, and then I suspect he’s history!

Cheyenne Jackson just finished a run of the musical La Cage aux Folles at the Pasadena Playhouse.  He revealed that the set, designed by Tony-winner David Zinn, had a special feature – one of the walls was covered with photos of queer icons.  “Some are still with us, some have passed.  He kindly placed my two beloved besties Leslie Jordan and Gavin Creel right next to me because I do most of my scenes stage right.  I’m so grateful to him for his love, sensitivity, and artistry.”

If you’re anywhere near Palm Springs, I urge you to check out the fantastic Cathy Moriarty, who is appearing in I’ll Eat You Last at The Bent, an LGBTQ theatre company.  In it, she plays legendary agent Sue Mengers – a role Bette Midler played on Broadway.  The show runs through December 22^nd, and you can get tix at TheBent.org.

We know people love a bad boy.  But what about a killer?  Many of my fans (among others) are quite taken with Luigi Mangione – the alleged killer of the CEO of United Healthcare.  He’s certainly a strapping young man, with eyebrows not unlike our own Jonathan Bennett and an 8-pack that cannot be achieved with any medication (trust me – I’ve researched it).  Rather than discuss anything about this case which you can read all over the media, I’m going to share a story with a healthy dose of skepticism.  John Pallotta is a respected acting teacher – at least that’s what people tell me.  A few years back, he claims that a young man named Alex Correra came to his NYC acting class.  Here is how he describes him: “He was a violent kid who scared people in class with his sociopathic behavior”.  In fact, Pallotta says Correra called him on the phone.  “He confessed to killing someone and thought an acting class would help him.  Then he fessed up and told me he was only kidding”.  Last week, he recognized “Correra” as Luigi Mangione.  He contacted the police and told them this: “What I remember most of all is how he only wanted to play ‘killers’ in class”.  He remembered he had a video scene “Correra” did, and provided it to the authorities.  Is any of this true?  Or did Pallotta simply doze off watching the first season of Barry?

“I don’t want to get into the bathroom issue.  Because it’s a very small
number of people we’re talking about, and it’s ripped apart our country,
so they’ll have to settle whatever the law finally agrees.” –   
Donald Trump addresses the trans bathroom issue.  Which begs the question –
if it’s a very small number of people, how is it ripping apart our country?

Last week, US Capitol Police arrested a man after a complaint by Representative Nancy Mace.  She took to X (as one does after being attacked) and wrote this: “I was physically accosted at the Capitol tonight by a pro-tr*ns man.”  Typically an asterisk in a word is to avoid typing a swear or some blasphemous utterance.  I’m not sure the word “trans” really falls under that category.  Mace has led the charge to ban trans people from restrooms designated for their current gender, saying the spaces should be limited to people of a particular biological birth gender.  I do agree with one thing – nobody should be physically assaulted.  Mace claims she has injuries: “one new brace for my wrist and some ice for my arm”.  She said, “All the violence and threats keep proving our point.”  Only if they happened in a bathroom, says moi.

And now, time for more of Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions.  One of the first things I buy every year is the annual celebrity ornament from Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.  This year’s diva is Betty Buckley, in her classic Grizabella guise.  It could also be considered an homage to the homeless situation in Los Angeles – I love a socially conscious gift that also celebrates a Broadway belter!  You can order it at BroadwayCares.org.

Because we’re all about balance, my calendar suggestion this week comes from the hot British diver Jack Laugher.  You thought I was gonna mention another name, but it can’t all be about Tom Daley and his needlework!   And, sure, Laugher ain’t gay – but since when did that stop us from appreciating the male physique?  This is Jack’s third calendar (who knew?) and the photos are really quite spectacular. Check out all his wares at JackLaugherStore.com.

When Laugher is the best medicine, it’s time for me to catch a cold and end of yet another column.  As always, you can get the freshest dish on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t cry over melted ice cream.  We didn’t have time for an “Ask Billy” question, but can always get my attention by dropping me a note.  Dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Trump books The Village People to lead “Y.M.C.A.” at the inauguration.  Ah, if only Mike Pence were still around…he’d hang himself!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Every once in a while, someone asks me what T.R. Knight is doing.  I’m glad to finally have an answer.  He’ll be on Broadway in Stranger Things: The First Shadow.  It’s kind of a prequel to the Netflix series – which means if you’re a newbie, you still can follow along.  Phew!  Previews kick off on March 28^th at the Marquis Theatre.

I have no idea who Betty Gilpin is.  She may be a mighty fine actress.  But the idea of a woman – any woman – taking the lead in Broadway’s Oh, Mary! when Cole Escola leaves the role on January 21^st sounds like a death knell for the sensation.  I am reminded of Ally Sheedy playing Hedwig during the initial off-Broadway run of the Angry Inch.  Nothing against Miss Sheedy, but that was a mistake (I suspect had Sandra Bernhard done it – as she was rumored to – it might have worked).  So catch Mary sooner rather than later!

In other queer casting news, we hear that the latest Emcee in the West End production of Cabaret will be…Billy Porter!  He joins the cast on January 28^th and stays until May 24^th.

Elsewhere in the West End, the Elton John musical The Devil Wears Prada opened last week.  I think the opening night can be summed up in one photo – Vanessa Williams (who plays Miranda Priestly), a virtually unrecognizable Donatella Versace, Elton John (wearing sunglasses for obvious reasons) and Anna Wintour (the basis for Priestly – also in sunglasses).  Would that the level of camp in that group photo was reflected in the show.  After a rocky run in Chicago in 2022, Elton John revamped the show for London, and Williams was hired.  The result?   Critics feel it has something to offer.  Alas, terms like “style not substance” and “forgettable songs” also pop up in most reviews, which is never a good sign.  Would I see it?  Absolutely.  Would I plan a trans-Atlantic trip for it?  Probably not.

Emily Blunt (from the flick) addressed rumors of a sequel.  “There’s rumblings, there’s stuff churning around, but I don’t know if I can confirm anything completely…but we would be all delighted to work together again.”

Someone who showed up on the Prada red carpet was the luscious Luke Evans, alongside his equally hunk beau, Fran Tomas.  He recently talked about his insecurities – reminding us that people who seem to have it all also have demons of their own.  “I still sometimes go to the gym and just feel very anxious.  I look at myself in the mirror and just go, ‘You don’t look good enough’ or ‘You’re letting it go’.”  All that tells me is there’s no hope for any of us!

It takes a lot to get me up before noon.  But I left Boston at the crack of dawn to catch a flight to LA in order to see Marilyn Maye at Hollywood’s Catalina Jazz Club.  At 96, one would expect Maye to be in diminished form.  But she seems to have defied the laws of nature, time, and gravity.  She never sat during her 90-minute show (to say nothing of an equally long meet-and-greet post-show).  She even included new numbers that I’ve never heard her sing before!  There was a generous helping of love that went out to the capacity crowd and was gleefully returned.  By the end, she sounded like she could go on singing till the cows came home (to coin a phrase).  It was not only a splendid evening of entertainment, but one that made you feel like you witnessed something truly special.

If some mad scientist wanted to create the perfect Broadway leading man in a lab (this would obviously be a gay mad scientist), he’d create Hugh Panaro.  The talented thespian took the stage at Catalina Jazz two nights after Maye and performed his one-man show, Man Without a Mask (referring to his over 2,000 performances of Phantom).  Aside from his extraordinary vocal abilities and matinee idol good looks, we were treated to a great mix of material from his extensive career – cleverly assembled with his director, Richard Jay-Alexander.  Musical Director Joseph Thalken added to the embarrassment of riches, although nobody seemed particularly embarrassed!  Until you get the chance see them live, some clips of Hugh and Marilyn in action can be found on BillyMasters.com.

One of Panaro’s last songs was a gorgeous rendition of “It Only Takes a Moment” from Hello, Dolly.  I couldn’t help but think of the late Gavin Creel, who sang it in the 2017 revival of Dolly (which earned him a Tony Award).  Last week, the lights of Broadway marquees were dimmed in his honor the day after a weepy audience attended his memorial service at the St. James Theatre.  It ended with the cast of the 2009 revival of Hair joining a pre-recorded Gavin for an emotional “Let the Sunshine In”.  Although the memorial was streamed online, union rules dictated that it be taken down after the live viewing.  So if you missed it…well, need I tell you where to look?

“If Canada can’t survive the tariffs, then maybe Canada should
become the 51^st state and Trudeau can become its governor.” –   
Donald Trump’s response to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s complaint that tariffs would
“kill the Canadian economy”.  Geez, now we’re gonna have to replace all the flags – to say nothing of learning French.

This week, we enter the Filth2Go Wayback Machine with the assistance of Mr. Peabody to go back to a simpler, happier, gayer time – 1978.  That was the year The Village People released their hit, “Y.M.C.A.”, which boasted about a place where young men could have a good time, get yourself clean, have a good meal, and do whatever you feel.  Lead singer, Victor Willis (the cop), claims there was nothing gay about the song.  In fact, he threatened to sue “each and every news organization” that refers to the song as a “gay anthem”.  Then David Hodo (the construction worker) weighed in: “Just to be clear, there would be no “Y.M.C.A.” song without Jacques Morali” – the legendary gay producer.  “Randy Jones (the cowboy) took him to a Y.M.C.A. and introduced him to several gay porn stars who worked out there.”  Willis struck back.  “Well, well, well, what have we here?  David Hodo comes out of his hole to comment on me and my writing partner Jacques Morali.  First of all David, Jacques hated you and you know it.  So I wouldn’t put much stock in whatever you have to say about me and Jacques.  Therefore, back in your hole before I crush you again, you replacement (non-original) Village People member who has lied for years that you’re an original.”  That sounds awfully prissy coming from someone who is straight.  Yes, Willis has a wife, and we hear is a Republican.  Not surprising, he also defended Trump’s use of the song on the campaign trail: “Trump seems to genuinely like ‘Y.M.C.A.’ and we have grossed several million dollars since the President Elect’s continued use of the song.”  This sounds more about money than about sex – not that the two can’t go together!

Let’s jump forward in time – to 1996, the year JonBenét Ramsey captivated the country.  I must confess, she didn’t captivate me.  But I do have a friend who is convinced the brother did it because of a bowl of ice cream.  It’s now almost 30 years, later and the case is being re-examined on Netflix’s Cold Case.  John Ramsey (the father) says that with DNA technology, “there’s a really good chance we get it solved”.  The family also issued a rendering of what JonBenét would look like today, and she eerily resembles a “waitress” I had at a Hooters in Dubuque, Iowa!

Faithful fans know it’s time for Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions.  Literally for decades, I’ve been sharing some of my favorite things that I think would make the perfect gifts.  My advice is free.  But since I’m not on television, I’m not giving anything away.  Because I love a book, I heartily recommend Cher: The Memoir.  Since this is only Part One, this is a practical gift.  Next year, you can give Part Two as a gift (assuming Cher finishes it in time).  And if your special someone isn’t a reader, that’s OK.  Neither is Cher.  Buy the audio book!

I know it’s too early to say this, but I bet our next gift suggestion will be my favorite of the entire year.  I recently told you about a Netflix holiday film called The Merry Gentlemen – about some chick who puts on a male strip show to save her hometown theatre.  None of that is important – all that matters is that you get to see Chad Michael Murray at his physical prime in as little clothing as possible.  What could be better that that?  Getting to do that all year long.  Admittedly, it didn’t do much for Sophia Bush, but it sure perked up my “spirits”.  If your loved one is similarly inclined, get them the first ever Chad Michael Murray Calendar.  My fingers are still singed at how hot the photos are.  I can’t even pick a favorite.  February features a heart on his heart.  But there’s June’s barely-there graduation gown, October’s perfect pumpkins.  And I believe what he does with a turkey baster in November is illegal in four states!  A portion of CMM’s proceeds go to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.  Listen to Billy – drop everything and head on over to CMMSignature.shop.  It’s even autographed.  You can thank me later.

And this beautifully leads to our Ask Billy question on a related topic.  Don in Miami writes, “I just watched Hot Frosty.  Who is that guy?  I know I’ve seen him before.  Is he gay?  Does he ever wear clothes??”

First things first – Hot Frosty is also a Netflix holiday film which finds Lacey Chabert bringing a snowman to life with a cell phone.  Really, that’s what happens.  Let’s forget about the fast that he’s an anatomically correct snowman who’d be nude if it weren’t for that damn scarf!  All the better to show off his ripped torso and zero-percent body fat.  Well, what do snowmen eat anyway?  Water?  Carrots?  How many carbs are in coal?  The sexy snowman is played by Dustin Milligan (who is straight and has been with actress Amanda Crew for 14 years), who you probably remember from Schitt’s Creek.  In this flick, his character is creatively called Jack Snowman.  It’s part holiday fantasy, part romcom, and part gay porn.  Yes, I scanned enough to know it requires some intense, private viewing.  Naturally you can see the most salient scenes on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re fantasizing about a snowman, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  I know they say sexuality is fluid, but this is ridiculous!  Still, it does bring up another question – how do you jack a snowman?  I suppose you start with the icicles, carefully cup the snowballs, and always wear your mittens.  You know – safety first.  And that brings up a helpful hint from my colorful past – ChapStick does not make an effective lubricant.  For more tips, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that promises a smooth ride.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Dustin Milligan comes out with his own calendar!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

The holidays are fast approaching, and perhaps you have a someone in your life who is hard…well, aren’t you lucky!  But what if they’re hard to shop for?  Check out the renowned Julien’s Auctions, where a fistful of celebrity wares are going on the block.  Say you’ve got someone a bit long in the tooth who loves old movies.  What about something from the estate of Sir Laurence Olivier and Dame Joan Plowright?  Sure, Dame Joan is still with us – but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.  Their belongings hit the market on December 10^th at 10AM PT.  The next day, the legendary Bob Mackie is divesting himself of some choice creations made for the likes of Cher, Joan Collins, Diahann Carroll, Carol Burnett, Pink, and oodles of others.  That takes place on December 11^th, also at 10AM PT.  Later that day (at 11AM), there’s a number of assorted items from even BIGGER movie stars.  How big?  How’s about Marilyn Monroe’s bathing suit from Some Like It Hot, Judy Garland’s test dress from The Wizard of Oz, some of Greta Garbo’s undergarments, one of Elizabeth Taylor’s gowns from the kinda thin years, and even the mink coat Liza Minnelli wore to her wedding to David Gest.  I’m told Gest called it his “lucky coat” – because he got lucky on it on numerous occasions.  If only Liza had been in town at the time!

Elton John just went public with some bad news.  “I unfortunately lost my eyesight in my right eye in July because I had an infection in the South of France.  It’s been four months now since I haven’t been able to see.  My left eye is not the greatest…It kind of floored me.  I can’t see anything.  I can’t read anything.  I can’t watch anything.”  Having a father going through this, I have enormous sympathy and send Elton and his family my best.

Timing is everything.  Just when Elton’s losing the ability to see, David Archuleta is showing more and more skin.  Is a puzzlement.  Before he came out, Archie could sing and people swooned.  After coming out, he couldn’t just be a good singer – he had to be a hawt singer.  More than working on his voice, he’s focusing on his body…and his fans are doing the same thing.  If you’re openly gay and single at 33, it is said you need more than a talented throat (although I beg to differ).  He’s been posting lots of photos on social media, and one caught people’s attention.  It was a snap from the gym where he was wearing a tank top.  Makes sense, right?  Except he cropped out his head.  Loads of comments basically boiled down to the same thing: “I think you meant to put this on ur Grindr profile!”

“I feel like the physical act is the least interesting thing.” –   
Daniel Craig’s response to questions about the gay sex scenes in the film Queer. 
You had me, then you lost me, 007.  But I’ll still watch it when it is released on my birthday, February 13^th.

My Thanksgiving weekend kicked off when I ran into Zendaya, who is in Boston shooting a film.  Beau Tom Holland flew in to spend time with his galpal, and who happened to be seated nearby?  Yes, that would be moi – your humble scribe.  I hear Robert Pattinson was also in town, but I didn’t see him.  What can I say?  Two’s company, three’s a crowd, and four’s a story worth writing about!

Alas, those lovely, misunderstood Menendez boys didn’t have much to be thankful for.  Days prior to the holiday, their bid to leave the pokey got delayed – if not completely scuttled.  You’ll recall Los Angeles DA George Gascón said that their verdict should be “reconsidered”, or set aside, or they should be resentenced.  And then, he lost his bid for re-election by a significant margin.  Suddenly, the boys’ hopes for a family Christmas looked less likely.  The judge requested more time to review the new evidence, and the incoming DA Nathan Hochman said he’d also like to weigh in.  Clearly this is not the done deal it once appeared to be.  I guess we’ll find out on January 30^th.

Despite being in prison for the past 35 years, Lyle recently celebrated his 21^st wedding anniversary to wife Rebecca Sneed.  It should be noted that the couple have never shared a conjugal visit…not even a handy under the table!  Now that Lyle’s release is possible, Rebecca did the unexpected – she filed for divorce!  In the understatement of the year, she said the following: “Lyle and I have been separated for a while now but remain best friends and family.”  Uh, have you ever NOT been separated?  This reminded me of something Lyle once said: “This coming November will be my 20^th wedding anniversary.  Learning to be a husband and a partner from inside a prison has been challenging.”  I think someone might wanna look up the definition of “challenging”.  My God, these two are made for each other.  But, it does make one wonder.  Why is Becky bailing now – aside from the obvious?  Perhaps the answer can be found in the curious codicil to her statement: “This is NOT a cheating scandal.”  Hmm…

Gay porn actor Arad Winwin should stick to talking erections rather than elections – especially given his fans’ reaction to his support of Trump!  People came out of the woodwork (or wherever they came from) to chastise him on social media.  Look, I don’t agree with him either, but isn’t he entitled to his opinion?  Wrong as it may be?  Of course, you’re also entitled to no longer be a fan.  Seeing photos of him, I have an opinion that he could star in an all-gay remake of Mother, Jugs & Speed.  You can have your opinion on which role he could play.

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Daniel in Chicago: “What’s the truth about this Gladiator II same-sex kiss that Denzel’s been talking about?  Will we ever see it?”

During an interview promoting Gladiator II, Denzel Washington said, “I kissed a guy full on the lips, and I think they got chicken.  I guess they weren’t ready for that yet.”  When asked about it on the red carpet, director Ridley Scott contradicted him.  “No, that’s bullshit.  They acted the moment and it never happened.”  At the premiere, Denzel changed his tune.  “They’re making more of it than it was.  I kissed him on his hands and gave him a peck.”  By the by, Denzel’s initial claim was during a video interview with Gayety.  The second one was on the red carpet standing next to wife Pauletta.  I think you can figure it out after watching both interviews on BillyMasters.com.

When a kiss is not always a kiss, we’ve come to the end of yet another column.  I dunno about you, but I now have no interest in seeing either Gladiator flick.  But I would definitely check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t beat around the bush.  In fact, we show you the bush, the whole bush, and everything around the bush!  If you want to get to the bottom of anything, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before McBride tinkles in Johnson’s toilet!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

The Elton John–Jake Shears Broadway musical Tammy Faye will close on December 8^th – less than a month after its November 14^th opening.  Curiously, the musical was a major hit in London’s West End where it won multiple awards.  On Broadway, it was universally panned by critics.  What changed?  We’re told the creators tinkered with the show in between the runs.  And let us not forget that Andrew Rannells created the role of Jim Bakker in London, but he was replaced on Broadway by Christian Borle due to a “contract disagreement”.

In far happier news, the reunion of original Hairspray gals Marissa Jaret Winokur, Kerry Butler and Laura Bell Bundy at New World Stages has been extended.  Mama, I’m a Big Girl Now was slated for a one-month off-Broadway run.  It’s been extended a second month and will now close on December 21^st.  The show got a ringing endorsement from Hairspray creators Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman.  Marc was so ebullient, he posted this: “If you love musicals, friendship, motherhood and outright joy, I can’t encourage you enough to go see this delightful show.  I’m so glad Scott Wittman and I stopped our lawyer from sending them a cease-and-desist order!”

Speaking of shows you shouldn’t miss, there are two I’m flying to see in Los Angeles.  The fantastic Catalina Jazz Club in Hollywood will present the incomparable Marilyn Maye on Tuesday, December 3^rd and Broadway’s own Hugh Panaro on Thursday, December 5^th.  If I could, I’d see Jackie Beat on Friday, December 6^th, but I’m otherwise engaged.  You can get tix at CatalinaJazzClub.com.  See you there!

I am sure many of you remember Rachel Campos – either from The Real World season with Puck and Pedro Zamora (both of whom she was quite close to), or her numerous appearances on The View.  She’s been the perpetual bridesmaid for the so-called “conservative seat”.  She was a favorite to replace my dear Debbie Matenopoulos, losing in the end to Lisa Ling.  She was well-liked enough to come back and fight to replace her, losing out to Elisabeth Hasselbeck (a fellow reality star).  She was even in the mix when Hasselbeck was fired, only to see Meghan McCain nab the spot.  But each time she was on, I enjoyed her immensely – even if I disagreed with most of her views (see how that works?).  What possible relevance could Rachel Campos have today?  Because she is married to Sean Duffy (also a Real World alum), who was a Representative from Wisconsin and has been tapped by the incoming El Presidente to replace Pete Buttigieg as Secretary of Transportation.  What are his qualifications?  I believe during Real World: Boston, he took the subway a few times.

Speaking of reality stars, the original Bachelorette is once again the subject of gossip.  Every few years, people whisper that Trista and Ryan Sutter will divorce.  Even after 21 years of marriage and two kids, nobody believes she found happiness with a hot fireman.  This latest spate of speculation started when Ryan posted something about missing her.  Trista addressed the question head-on.  “People were speculating that I was either having a nervous breakdown, that I was dead, or that Ryan and I were getting a divorce, because he posted something that everyone thought was cryptic?  It wasn’t cryptic.  I was just away and I was filming Special Forces.”  Another mystery solved.  If Shelly Miscavige is also competing, that would solve two mysteries.

Onto Whoopi and the bakery.  In case you don’t know, Whoopi Goldberg wanted to share a special dessert when she celebrated her birthday on The View.  The dessert in question is Charlotte Russe – who I thought was a character on Sex and the City.  Whoopi tried to get it from a certain bakery.  I say “tried” because they said they couldn’t accommodate her order.  “Now, I should tell you, Charlotte Russe has no political leanings, and the place that made these refused to make them for me.  They said that their ovens had gone down, and all kinds of stuff.  But folks went and got them anyway, which is why I’m not telling you who made them.  Perhaps they did not like my politics.”  Or, perhaps at the time of her request, the ovens were actually down.  According to the bakery, that is what happened – and the new order came in after the ovens were fixed.  Is that plausible?  Sure.  It’s also possible they don’t like her politics.  Or maybe they didn’t like Jumpin’ Jack Flash!

“Jimmy, I’m a black woman and a lesbian.
How the hell do you think I’m doing?” –   
Wanda Sykes, to Jimmy Kimmel when he asked her mood since the election.

No sooner had Sarah McBride from Delaware made history as the first openly transgender member of the House of Representatives, than Speaker of the House Mike Johnson flexed his muscles.  Since he has general control of the House facilities, he passed this rule: “All single-sex facilities in the Capitol and House Office Buildings – such as restrooms, changing rooms, and locker rooms – are reserved for individuals of that biological sex.”  In answering accusations of being anti-McBride, he said, “We’re not anti-anyone.  We’re pro-woman,” adding, “We have single-sex facilities for a reason.  Women deserve women’s only spaces.”  How did McBride respond?  She said she would comply with the rule – which then drew even more criticism from the people who wanted her to be the Rosa Parks of the Bidet.  “I am not here to fight about bathrooms.  I’m here to fight for Delawareans…Like all members, I will follow the rules outlined by Speaker Johnson, even if I disagree with them.”

Let me interject my two cents, for whatever it’s worth (perhaps only two cents).  I truly understand people having some issues with trans people – particularly if they don’t know any.  These days, everyone seems to have an issue about something or other.  So, why not just eliminate gender?  Let’s have All-Gender Bathrooms, one gold medal for the Best Gymnast, and one Oscar for Best Performer.  It would solve a whole lotta problems – although I believe in some instances, one biological gender might have the edge over the other.  But, eh, that’s life.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Larry in Chicago, who writes, “Mario Cantone looks so hot in And Just Like That….  Is he going to be in many of the new episodes?”

You’ll be happy to know that Mario is allegedly in every single episode of the third season of And Just Like That….  and you’re right – he gives his Hot Fellas staff a run for their money in the hotness department – particularly in his curve-hugging onesie which is featured on BillyMasters.com.  Mario recently addressed the gig in an interview: “I’m the luckiest boy in the world.  I work with the best people.  I feel very safe with them, it’s comfortable, joyful”.  He credits the show with giving him financial security – particularly now in his third act.  “We’re theater people, we go from job to job, we’re television people.  Yeah, this came at the right time.”

When Mario Cantone is proving he has great timing, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  It’s true, comedians will always help you though troubling times.  Don’t forget – Mario and I grew up within spitting distance of each other.  And what’s a little saliva between friends?  For other bodily functions, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is never difficult to swallow.  To check that out in person, send a note along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Austin Wolf is featured on Dateline – with Keith Morrison, naturally!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Netflix is also in the holiday business.  Who could forget Single All the Way from 2021, with Michael Urie and Jennifer Coolidge?  The network’s latest effort is The Merry Gentlemen.  Not surprisingly, it’s a bit more risqué than those Hallmark films.  In this future classic, Britt Robertson (who I’ve never heard of) puts together an all-male Christmas revue to save her small-town theatre.  Enter Chad Michael Murray, one of her more delectable dancers.  Truly, there are few people who have weathered as well as CMM.  I don’t know where my pals Beth Broderick, Maxwell Caulfield and Michael Gross fit in, but they’re also in the cast.  As is Colt Prattes, who ain’t so bad to look at.  This flick drops November 20^th, but I’ll post some pics on BillyMasters.com…just to tide you over.

In these divisive days, I think we can all agree that nobody does Christmas quite like The Hallmark Channel.  They do it so well, they even do that ever-annoying Christmas in July!  It’s also well-documented that I’m against holiday hoopla happening prior to Thanksgiving.  Carols in the mall, lights on houses, tinsel in CVS – no, no, no, not ho, ho, ho.  Call me old-fashioned, but that’s how I feel.  On the other hand, you throw me a hot guy in a Santa hat and a smile and I’m willing to put my bias aside and take a little time to enjoy the view. 

This brings us to Jonathan Bennett, who has entered into an unholy alliance with The Hallmark Channel to provide us with seasonal fare.  And since the departure of Candace Cameron Bure, it stands to reason that the network would go in the complete opposite direction.  Bennett’s latest flick is Season’s Greetings from Cherry Lane, which is actually the first installment of a three-part sequel to what I’m told is a popular franchise –  all based on different families living in the same house over 70 years.  Proving nepotism is alive and well even with the gays, Bennett’s hubby, Jaymes Vaughan, contributes a song to the soundtrack.  Oh, yes, the former Chippendale is now a chanteuse!  He just released an EP called “Feels Like Christmas”.  Recently, he debuted the song “Home for the Holidays” on the Hallmark Christmas Cruise, which was hosted by Bennett.  Jaymes said, “I wanted to write the kind of Christmas music that you know exactly what you’re in for the minute it starts…These tracks are all originals, not covers, because I wanted to create music that reflects what Christmas music sounds like to me.”  Listen for it in the movie, which debuts on Hallmark+ on December 5^th.  Or in an elevator at your local mall.

Because I’ve sworn to keep you up to date, I have the latest chapter in Austin Wolf’s legal woes.  I think this is a good time to point out how bad our judicial system is.  Austin has been awaiting his preliminary hearing since his arrest on June 28^th of 2023!  Come on, people – get on the stick (or off the stick – depending on which bunk you’re in).  The first preliminary hearing was scheduled for July 29^th of 2024 – so, about a year after his arrest.  It was then rescheduled for August 28^th.  Then September 27^th.  And now, November 27^th.  Why the constant delays?  Rumor has it, the feds are trying to get him to plead guilty to something – anything – to move this along.  Thus far, he’s not been playing ball.  Or is he?  Maybe he’s playing a different kinda ball.  Ball in the pokey.  Stay tuned.

I’m hearing lots of rumbling about The Scissor Sisters.  It’s been about a dozen years since the group did an actual show.  Recently, the band’s social media page was updated to sport an image of TV static.  Most figured they were about to make an announcement – or be interviewed by Dan Rather!  In short order, they announced a tour of the UK and Ireland to commemorate the 20^th anniversary of their debut album going to number one in the UK.  It is rumored more countries will follow.  However, it’s not all good news.  Conspicuously absent from the reunion lineup is founding member Ana Matronic.  “She has decided not to join the tour as she has other projects she is focusing on right now,” said the statement.  Ana released her own statement: “I am currently finishing production on the first season of my history podcast Good Time Sallies which has grown into several long term research & writing projects.  With contracts signed and schedules agreed on these commitments, the time of a Scissor reunion does not allow me to join my former bandmates on this tour.  I wish the band and our fans all the best – I will be there in spirit to kiki with you!”  So, is she saying she’s turning down a global arena tour for a podcast?!

Our last minute “Ask Billy” question comes from James in Baltimore: “What’s going on between KJ Apa and Boston Ridge?”

Once again, you people stump me – and that hasn’t happened since that night with the hot Bulgarian amputee.  Sure, I know who KJ Apa is (Riverdale/Archie/abs), but is Boston Ridge a person or a place where you cruise men abutting Fenway Park?  Turns out, Boston Ridge is a model – although I defy anyone to show me a birth certificate with that name on it.  Apparently the boys have been besties since their childhood in New Zealand.  KJ posted a Snapchat of them in bed together – both asleep and nude (or, at the very least, shirtless).  Not really “spooning”, but I’m no expert.  I’m much more into forking.  This led lots of people to ask if KJ is the “big spoon”.  It led me to a different question – who took this photo?  Obviously it’s staged, and good for them.  I’m told it’s not all that recent.  But if you want to have fantasies of them spooning or forking or whatever people who don’t eat do in bed, be my guest.  For my part, I’m going to go get some peach cobbler – right after I post the photo on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m more interested in a hot peach cobbler than a hot nude ginger, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Since we ran late (well, we didn’t but I really want that cobbler), let me quickly remind you to check out a variety of savory beings on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s sugar and spice and everything nice.  I’ll be checking out my pal Christopher Titus’s new show, Doomed to Repeat, at the Tupelo Music Hall in Derry, NH on November 16^th.  Feel free to say hi if you’re in the neighborhood.  If you want to reach out from a different locale, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before the next erection…er, election!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

I’ve been worried about Kathy Griffin.  We caught up a few months ago at one of her comeback shows at the Mirage in Vegas.  She was as funny as ever, but had enough rasp in her voice to play Stevie Nicks…or Jimmy Hoffa!  But now, after all she’s been through, she’s back – and that extends to her speaking voice.  She had an implant put on her vocal cord, which she describes as “a boob job in my throat.”  If you didn’t know better, you’d never guess anything happened – aside from an oddly placed nipple!  While she’s getting some “dental work” done, might I suggest it’s time for an overall tune-up?  Sure, she broke the record for the number of times a female comedian has played Carnegie Hall (last held by Joan Rivers).  But, why not look “refreshed” while doing it?

There’s been a whole lotta celebrity deaths that I haven’t mentioned.  First was one of my favorites – Mitzi Gaynor.  The epitome of glamour, sex appeal, and class (my bon ami Bob Mackie made most of her legendary looks).  She was a helluva gal.  Then there’s Teri Garr.  Was anyone funnier than Teri?  Did you know she started out as a dancer?  Hours after she passed, someone posted a video of the historic T.A.M.I. Show from 1964 – which featured a dozen musical groups.  One of the more memorable performances was done by The Supremes.  And while they were singing “Where Did Our Love Go?”, there was Teri, shimmying between Mary and Flo wearing what appears to be a Target tee.  The video can be seen on BillyMasters.com.

The big-screen version of the musical Wicked found itself in an uncomfortable situation.  Apparently, some of the dolls based on the film characters manufactured by Mattel were on the Target shelves.  The dolls themselves were fine.  But the packaging did not feature a link to WickedMovie.com, but instead Wicked.com – which is an adult porn site!  Imagine parents trying to explain to kids what Kenzie Loves Girls 2 is about – and if they can watch it without seeing the first flick!  Of course, I’m pleased to see any connection between Jonathan Bailey (Fiyero) and porn!  Mattel takes full responsibility, and the merchandise was pulled from the Target shelves.  But if any of you have one, hold onto it.  I bet it will be worth real money eventually.

Then there’s Nicole Scherzinger.  Poor, crazy but talented Nicole Scherzinger – who I bet has also given a handy or two in her day.  She’s in the middle of a career apex – starring in Sunset Boulevard on Broadway and being touted as a shoo-in for a Tony.  And then she sees Russell Brand’s Instagram post with a red hat that says “Make Jesus First Again” and decides to type, “Where do I get this hat?”  I don’t wanna imply there’s anything wrong with liking Jesus, or Ramtha, or David Miscavige.  But when you see those words on a red hat – well, she’s not that stupid.  She knew what that meant – as did scores of theatre queens.  People took to social media like they saw a video of her killing a baby…or at least killing a song.  They gave away their tickets, called for boycotts, and chastised her.  Clearly Nicole has some good gay friends, because someone obviously pulled her aside and said, “You in danger, girl!”  She took to social media, saying she wanted to “deeply apologize for the hurt caused by my recent engagement with some social media posts.  I made a mistake of not realizing that they could be easily interpreted as being politically related and I apologize to anyone who understandably reached that conclusion.”

Speaking of Broadway, one of the funniest clips I’ve seen in ages was Jonathan Groff on the Tactful Pettiness podcast.  He was asked to address the rumor started by the late Naya Rivera that Lea Michele can’t read!  He really couldn’t talk – he was shaking uncontrollably and giggling like a schoolgirl.  He then admitted that he’s actually seen her read from a script, and that she does not come to set “off book”.  I’ll post this hysterical clip, along with a video of Lea actually “reading” (unless she memorized it in advance), on BillyMasters.com.

By the by, Groff recently got some good news.  He will star in a new musical about singer Bobby Darrin.  Just in Time will begin previews March 28^th and open on April 23^rd.  Groff is also a co-producer.

One of Jonathan’s more notable exes, Gavin Creel, will be celebrated on Broadway with two special events.  On Monday, December 2^nd at 4PM, there will be a public memorial service at the St. James Theatre.  And then on Tuesday, December 3^rd at 6:45PM, Broadway will dim their marquee lights.  Sure to be a magical moment.

“The clown car can’t come into the White House at will.”   
– Susie Wiles, Donald Trump’s new Chief of Staff.

“What if the clown is in the White House?”   
– Joy Behar, co-host of The View.

Sure, you’re unhappy.  I get it.  As unhappy as you are, I guarantee you I can name someone even less happy – Melania!  Did you see that woman on election night?  “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!”  Come to think of it, where has she been?  With Ivanka?  Or Shelly Miscavige?  Wherever she’s been staying, I’m confident she’s not planning on spending time in D.C.  But someone better keep an eye on Trump.  As crazy as he is, trust me when I say Vance is more dangerous. 

You know someone who is happy?  Ralph Brennan.  You don’t know him, but he was one of Trump’s campus coordinators from Michigan State – class of 2026.  Class of 2026!  My God, how old does that make him?  I don’t have my abacus handy, but I believe I can legally give him a handy!  Sure, he’s also crazy.  But he’s also kinda crazy hot – as straight college boys so often are.  But, shh, don’t tell him.  Eh, what the hell – go ahead and tell him.  Those guys always love attention from gay men!

Our Ask Billy question comes from a veteran of this column.  Gary in Dallas writes, “What caused Dan Benson to go off on David Henrie?”

Once again, a question about people nobody’s heard of.  Correction – I knew who Dan Benson was, in the broadest of terms.  I know he’s a former Disney kid who does porn…correction, OnlyFans (porn with a credit card).  Dan made his bones (as they say) on Wizards of Waverly Place – I say as if I know what that is!  And apparently David Henrie was on the show as well, along with the current sequel, Wizards Beyond Waverly Place.  David did an interview where the host put up a few photos and asked which former co-star should make a guest appearance on the new show.  Henrie said, “I can’t believe you guys put one of these people on here.  Millennials understand that.”  Which was implied as shading Benson’s porn…modeling career.  So Benson Tweeted, “David Henrie can suck my dick.  I’ll pay him more than they paid me for Wizards I promise you that.”  It doesn’t help that David is a pro-life conservative and Dan is…well, you know.  The last shot came from David…well, I guess it came from them both.  David blocked Dan from following him or viewing his post.  Dan responded, “We pretended to be best friends for years.  How could you do this to me??”  Check out the whole scintillating story on BillyMasters.com.

When I can spend 200 words on people I don’t even know, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  So, the election is here.  I already turned in my ballot.  After the elderly ladies put my ballot in the box, I asked, “Is this one of those boxes that blows up at midnight?”  They laughed – thank God!  They gave me a sticker, and I said, “Thank you for your service.”  Then I added, “This is the first time I’ve ever said that with my pants on!”  After all, it is Wilton Manors!  So get out, do your patriotic duty, and then check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s nonpartisan (some of those conservatives sho is cute).  If you’ve got a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Chi Chi LaRue directs Chalamet in Chains!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

It’s the story that’s everywhere, so I guess we have to address it.  Shawn Mendes was performing at Red Rocks, Colorado, and was about to sing one of his new songs – “The Mountain”.  Some of the lyrics follow: “You can say what you need to say / you can say I’m too young / you can say I’m too old / you can say I like girls or boy / whatever fits your mold.”  Before the song, he said the following: “I didn’t get to do a lot of the 15-year-old things and discover parts of myself.  Since I was really young, there’s this thing about my sexuality, and people have been talking about it for so long…it always felt like such an intrusion on something very personal to me…something that I was figuring out in myself, something that I had yet to discover and still have yet to discover it.”  After the song he added, “The real truth about my life and sexuality is that, man, I’m just figuring it out like everyone else.  I don’t really know sometimes, and I know other times…I’m trying to be really brave and allow myself to be a human and feel things.  And that’s all I really want to say about that for now.”  Of course, you can hear the song and see Shawn’s full confession on BillyMasters.com.

Shawn’s lucky he wasn’t on Making the Band.  After Lou Pearlman stepped aside, the show was hosted by Sean Combs.  From Lou to Diddy?  What – was John Wayne Gacy not available?  No surprise, two men claim to have been assaulted by Diddy.  Next thing you’ll tell me Lou touched Ikaika, and all that footage of Ashley Parker Angel in the shower was for Lou’s personal collection.  But getting back to Combs, in 2005 he allegedly invited a 10-year-old boy to his hotel room, and gave him a soda that was allegedly laced with drugs.  The boy lost consciousness and later woke up to find his pants undone and a pain in his anus and buttocks.  Add in a Bacardi Wine Cooler, and you have my Halloween night in a nutshell.  But what was Puffy’s MO?  Was he auditioning to play Cosby in a biopic?  We don’t know more details because the boys have a gag order – and I swear I’m not gonna say what I’m thinking.  But I do have one question.  How does someone go from fucking a 10-year-old boy to fucking Jennifer Lopez?  Come to think of it, how did J-Lo go from Puff Daddy to Ben Affleck?  Twice?  It boggles the mind.

A Timothée Chalamet lookalike contest took place on the Sunday before Halloween in Washington Square Park in New York City – not a designated section of the park, not an area with a permit, just “a meetup”.  The event was the brainchild of YouTuber Anthony Po, who has been referred to as a “less hot Timothée Chalamet”.  Between his social media connections and the legion of followers handing out fliers, the contest drew thousands of advance RSVPs – people were actually turned away.  One of the people who made it in was Chalamet himself.  Po wanted Chalamet to compete, but he was quickly hustled away since the crowds were out of control.  Police intervened and Po was fined $500 for “having an unauthorized costume contest”.  When the cops tried to disperse the crowd, one would-be Chalamet resisted and was arrested.  Po says, “I’m talking to him and gonna be paying his legal fees and all that good stuff.”  What is the good stuff?  Oh yeah…picture Timothée Chalamet in a prison shower!

Of course, Halloween is the busiest time of the year for Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.  In one of her many media appearances, she revealed that several years ago, a celebrity unexpectedly turned up at one of her shows – with 20 guests!  Elvira was coy about the name, but said it rhymed with Pariana Mande.  Elvira’s people let them in – gratis, naturally.  Once in, Pariana asked if her guests could all go backstage and take photos with the ghoulish gal pre-show.  Not the way things are usually done, but Elvira was gracious (remind me to tell you about the time I went to her estate sale).  But when Elvira asked to take a photo with Pariana, the response was, “No, I don’t really do that.”  The nerve!  When Ariana Grande saw this story on Instagram, she responded: “I’m so disheartened to see this.  I actually don’t even remember getting the chance to meet you because I had an anxiety attack and to my memory, left before the rest of my family…but if I’m misremembering this moment, I sincerely apologize for offending you so.”  She also thanked Elvira for being so nice to her mom.  What?  Frankie wasn’t there??

“Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if me and Trump won just the normal
gay guy vote, because again, they just want to be left the hell alone.”   
– One of JD Vance’s more titillating (and grammatically questionable) comments to Joe Rogan. 
Speaking on behalf of normal gay guys (whatever that is), I really do want to be left the hell alone…from him!

Did you enjoy your Halloween?  Mine started out on a bad note when CNN showed a Trump rally in Nevada hyping up the audience by playing Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven is a Place on Earth”.  On behalf of Miss Carlisle (to say nothing of Miss Warren), I took umbrage at him co-opting the song.  But they’re in good company with other artists who have been in the same boat.  If nothing else, I guess we can all be grateful he wasn’t onstage “dancing”!

Anyone who says Cher does more farewell tours than anyone has clearly never heard of The Go-Go’s.  They’ve had about half a dozen.  Their brief 2022 tour after being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame was the most recent farewell.  But, never say never again – The Go-Go’s are back.  They are one of the performers at the Cruel World Fest at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena on May 17^th.  They’re on the bill with such folk as New Order, Devo, Garbage, Madness, ‘Til Tuesday, etc.  If our girls are true to form, they’ll do a handful of other area concerts.

Speaking of Cher, the thrilling Thirsty Burlington finished a spectacular run of her Cher 1987 show this summer in Provincetown.  Well, she’s returning to the scene of the crime for a special one-night-only event called Christmas is Cher-ing.  Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but that sure sounds to me like a Cher Christmas Special.  Quick, someone alert Paul Shaffer (never mind – I just texted him).  The spectacle takes place on December 7^th at the Crown & Anchor in Provincetown.  Tickets are available at OnlyAtTheCrown.com.

Then there’s the riotous Randy Roberts, who has been delighting audiences at La Te Da in Key West for eons.  And he just got a plumb gig which will be televised live around the globe!  For 25 years, the sensational Sushi has rung in the New Year in Key West by being lowered in a red stiletto from the balcony of the Bourbon Street Pub.  2022 marked Sushi’s last year.  In 2023, Christopher Peterson of Eycons fame slipped into the perilously perched pump.  This year, Randy Roberts takes over the tradition – which typically airs live on CNN.

Our Ask Billy question comes from the world of real-life crime.  Patrick in San Francisco writes, “I know you wrote about that guy from Abercrombie in the past.  I saw he was just arrested.  What’s going on?”

Former A&F CEO Mike Jeffries was arrested and charged with 15 counts of prostitution and sex trafficking.  Of course, most of these charges have been enumerated in the various documentaries about the case, but let me briefly recap.  It’s been alleged by many very attractive young men that they were pressed into various sexual activities at various locales with the promise of becoming A&F models.  I wasn’t surprised that Jeffries pled not guilty.  I was surprised that he was placed under house arrest after posting a $10 million bail bond using his home as collateral.  Until his next court hearing on December 12^th, he is prohibited from contacting co-defendants, witnesses, or victims.  Well, that’s his whole address book.  Who does that leave?  Probably not his partner, Matthew Smith, who was arrested but not arraigned…yet (although the judge did rule that the British citizen not leave the country).  Another person arrested but not yet arraigned was their “associate” James Jacobson, who helped “procure” the boys.

When most of these stories take place in Southern Florida, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Didn’t I mention that Jeffries and Smith were arrested in West Palm Beach?  Not even Palm Beach proper!  Oh, the humanity.  Of course, more classic Billy Masters content can be found on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that breaks no laws…only commandments.  If you’ve got a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I get my car back from the shop!  Before we wrap up, a reminder – get out and vote.  You know what I say – vote early, vote often.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Darlene Love famously appeared on Broadway in the musical Hairspray by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman.  Another Shaiman/Wittman show is poised to take Broadway by storm.  On March 11, 2025, the stage version of Smash will finally hit the Great White Way.  The musical, based on the short-lived 2012 NBC series of the same name, has been in the making since the show wrapped.  Rather than mount the Marilyn Monroe musical Bombshell (which is what the series was about), Smash will be a mélange of that show and the series drama.  The announcement was made last week on Marc Shaiman’s birthday – so happy bday, Marc.  And congrats!!!

Elsewhere on Broadway, Jim Parsons just opened in a revival of Our Town, alongside the estimable talents of (among other people), Miss Katie Holmes.  During an interview, he was asked about the possibility of returning to the role of Sheldon Cooper.  “As we sit here now, no, but also I would never say never to anything, because life just changes so much.  You know, one of the things is that it was so special as what it was as what it is.  And they call it lightning in a bottle for a reason, and you can be certain it wouldn’t be that.  And so why would we be doing it?”  Perhaps one reason he’s not so enthusiastic is he hasn’t been away from the character for very long.  Sure, The Big Bang Theory wrapped in 2019, but he was executive producer and narrator on the sitcom’s prequel, Young Sheldon, which just ended.  An unexpected twist was ending that series by showing Sheldon and wife Amy (Mayim Bialik) in the future.  “It just felt like a perfect little coda on the end of that entire beautiful experience.”

There might be similar reasons to revisit the character coming up.  For instance, his onscreen brother and sister-in-law just kicked off their own series – George and Mandy’s First Marriage.  And that may not be the only spinoff.  There is talk for Kevin Sussman (manager of the comic book store), Lauren Lapkus (his girlfriend) and Brian Posehn (geologist) to have their own spinoff at HBO, or Max, or whatever they’re calling it these days.

Buzz is surrounding a return to the small screen of White Collar.  The show’s creator Jeff Eastin revealed that a follow-up series, White Collar Renaissance, is in the works.  He’s written the pilot script, titled Masquerade and, reportedly, Matt Bomer, Tim DeKay and Tiffani Thiessen are all onboard for this reboot.  Stay tuned.