Our Ask Billy question kinda sounded suspiciously like an old story.  Thomas in Chicago asks, “Everyone is talking about that dick pic Adrian Grenier accidentally posted.  Do you have it?”

It’s not so much a photo as a video.  Grenier took a video of himself diving into a pool.  In the video, he’s nude and we’ve isolated a brief still of his penis – which we’ll post.  However, if you’re a fan, you probably remember three years ago when we unearthed two videos of the Entourage star taking matters into his own hands – and, yes, he needed both hands!  Check out the goods on BillyMasters.com.

And now, the subject you’ve been waiting for – Armie Hammer’s social media mess.  It started with a string of texts and photos which were allegedly sent from the actor to an anonymous woman which have odd sexual and cannibalistic references.  Here’s a sample: “Thinking of holding your heart in my hand and controlling when it beats…I am 100% a cannibal…I want to eat you…That’s scary to admit.  I’ve never admitted that before…I’ve cut the heart out of a living animal before and eaten it while still warm.”  Well, I suppose you don’t wanna let a heart get cold.  He later praises the woman’s capacity for anal sex, and says when he’s with others, “the only way I can cum is if I pretend I’m fucking you in the ass.”  Oh, the poetry.  “You were the most intense and extreme version of that I’ve ever had.  Raping you on your floor with a knife against you.  Everything else seemed boring.  You crying and screaming, me standing over you.  I felt like a god.  I’ve never felt such power or intensity.” 

The person who posted the messages, @HouseOfEffie, later said that the messages were “all fake”.  However, another lady recently linked to Hammer said she believed they “are real”.  Numerous other women came forward with their own Armie stories, giving credence to the messages.  Then Hammer issued a statement.  “I’m not responding to these bullshit claims,” he said.  “In light of the vicious and spurious online attacks against me, I cannot, in good conscience now, leave my children for four months to shoot a film in the Dominican Republic.”  The film was a frothy comedy with Jennifer Lopez called Shotgun Wedding.  Unless there’s a scene on the kitchen floor with a knife, it would be a letdown!

Russell T. Davies was asked about the casting of It’s a Sin.  He insists he’s not being “woke” by following the trend of casting openly gay people in the roles.  “I feel strongly that if I cast someone in a story, I am casting them to act as a lover or an enemy or someone on drugs or a criminal or saint.  They are not there to “act gay’ because ‘acting gay’ is a bunch of codes for a performance.  It’s about authenticity, the taste of 2020.”  He goes on, “You wouldn’t cast someone able-bodied and put them in a wheelchair.”  Does the word Ironside ring a bell?

In a related story, Brendan Fraser has signed on to play a 600-lb gay recluse in the new movie, The Whale.  My God, he’s been preparing for this part for eons!  I wonder if people will get crazy about the casting, or will they just shrug and ask, “So?”  Interestingly, some are already against the casting of Fraser, claiming that the filmmakers are fat-phobic.  Apparently they haven’t seen Brendan since George of the Jungle.

As I already told you, a new Sex and the City series is going forward…sans Samantha.  There was an amazingly well-written piece in Rolling Stone where they proclaimed “Kim Cattrall was MVP of SATC”.  One line jumped out at me.  “At its core, Sex and the City is neither about sex nor the city, nor shoes, nor Chris Noth’s cleft chin, nor inexplicably wearing belts around your midriff – it’s about the enduring power of female friendship.”  Without that core, there may be three interesting ladies chatting, but there’ll always be the spectre of Kim Cattrall hovering over everything; saying what needed to be said, but what none of the others could.  I smell disaster.

Elsewhere on TV, Aaron Sorkin has signed on to make a film about Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz called Being the Ricardos – in other words, a film about the actors working on the show.  This will focus on the real Desi and Lucy.  The person originally tapped for the redhead was Cate Blanchett – a fine actress, a curious choice, but I was intrigued.  This week, Blanchett is out and Nicole Kidman is in.  If they are looking for the person behind the character, they’re gonna have a tough time prying off that mask Kidman calls a face.  The fans are most upset that Debra Messing was not even considered – and she admits she coveted the role.  Fans turned to Lucie Jr. and Desi Jr., who are listed as producers.  But they have no power, and Little Lu is pretty much staying out of it.  Stay tuned.

Nick Jonas is being approached about doing a live TV version of Jersey Boys.  That’s something I could get behind…repeatedly.

While reports suggest that our lives may resume in the Spring, the fallout on Broadway will be ongoing.  The hit musical Mean Girls has announced it will not be resuming performances, and they aren’t the only one.  The musical version of Beetlejuice was playing at the Winter Garden Theatre.  Over the holidays, that set was struck and a stagehand plummeted to his death.  The next tenant will be The Music Man starring Hugh Jackman – no body count thus far.  Rumor has it Beetlejuice could be relocated.

Paramount has announced plans for a film version of Spamalot, which was based on the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  Eric Idle, who wrote the previous two, will write this third incarnation.  Not to be outdone, the musical version of The Color Purple, which was based on the movie of the same name (to say nothing of the book), will be filmed as well.

Speaking of dying, Tanya Roberts is dead.  And, yes, this time it took.  After I sent out my last column, a friend chastised me for not mentioning the death of the last lady to join TV’s Charlie’s Angels – to say nothing of Sheena (of the jungle, not of Easton).  The next morning, I woke up to find her alive!  As I said to Loni Anderson on Billy Masters LIVE last season: I read about that once before in a book…and I didn’t buy it then!  Being a cynic, I thought it was a publicity stunt.  Tanya’s dead; then she’s alive; then she writes a book; then she’s on The View.  No such luck.  Rest in peace, Tanya.  And let her death be a cautionary tale – pee before walking your dog.  The more you know…

Joan Collins is poised to publish yet another memoir.  Life AD stands for Life After Dynasty – although I anticipate many more “AD” jokes.  Her publisher says “the 87-year-old actress’s diary entries are unapologetic”, and adds that she “doesn’t care”.  I bet she cares that they’re revealing she’s 87.  They also claim that Dame Joan’s diaries are “as scandalous as Andy Warhol’s.”  In a recent interview, Collins described this pandemic as the worst thing she’s ever lived through – including the Bubonic Plague (and there’s your first “AD” joke). 

It didn’t take Meghan McCain long to stir things up on The View.  She does two things I can’t stand: 1) she repeats the same point three times in a single sentence without pausing for a breath; and B) she gets mad when people interrupt her – which she does incessantly.  On Meghan’s second day, she interrupted Joy – who stood her ground and said, “Excuse me, I’m not done.”  McCain teased that Joy missed her when she was on maternity leave.  “I did not!  I did not miss you!  ZERO!”  Make no mistake – the queen of interrupting is Joy Behar.  When doing a virtual talk show, you must wait for someone to stop speaking before you start – or nobody hears anything.  Behar has something to say after virtually every person speaks.  What they should do is turn off people’s mikes until it is their time to talk.  That tip was free – no charge, ABC.

Who would you die for?  It may say something horrid about me, but not a single person springs to mind.  People often say they’d die for their child – that’s their problem.  But would you get on a plane, during a pandemic, and purposely and premeditatively lay down your life for anyone in public office?  Because there are people who follow El Presidente and are happily willing to die for him – no Kool-Aid required.  I don’t get it, I don’t understand it, but there it is.  It’s as clear as that touring company of Les Misérables that was playing in DC last week!

No, Chris Harrison is not leaving The Bachelor franchise.  Everyone got into a tizzy when he relocated to Barton Creek, TX.  He simply moved there to be close to his son, who just started studies at – wait for it – Texas Christian University (locals call it by another name).  Might I add, piously, that said son is REALLY hot and has a great head…of hair.

Our Ask Billy question harkens back to the riots in DC.  Roger in Detroit asks, “Who is Phil Mattingly?  I saw him covering the riots for CNN and, gosh, he’s handsome.”

He is indeed.  He’s bordering on dashing.  Let me first answer your unwritten question – he’s straight.  Well, presumably he’s straight.  The strapping 36-year-old newsman has been married to a woman since 2010, and they have three kids.  He is, however, very gay-friendly and has supported many gay causes via Twitter.  He’s also shared his workout regime with Men’s Health – which is typically a precursor to a coming out story, but perhaps he’s the exception.  He reveals that when he doesn’t stick to the gym, it takes a terrible toll on him.  He loses weight!  And he thinks being a morning person is why people hate him.

Our first Ask Billy question of the year comes from Daniel in Suffolk.  “Any updates on Rogan O’Connor?”

Avid readers may recall Rogan, who has appeared on several UK reality shows and occasionally strips with the group Dreamboys.  He’s now started an OnlyFans page.  When asked what people should expect, Rogan said, “They can expect a lot of dick and a lot of ass.”  He added, “I’m still doing lots of TV shows, so for the filth, you do need to open up your DMs, and that’s where the real naughtiness begins.”  While I think the word “lots” may be overstating things a tad, the word “filth” does ring a bell.  You can check Rogan out on BillyMasters.com.

When a current star is using our old name, it’s time to end yet another column.  For all of you at HBO, I have two words for you – Golden Palace.  Give Cattrall WHATEVER she wants, or move on.  To everyone else, trust me – things will get better.  In the meantime, keep checking out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that will always put a smile on your face.  If you need a reason to go on, write me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I book Lindsay on Billy Masters LIVE!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

RuPaul’s Drag Race kicked off the new season and the New Year on SIX different networks simultaneously.  Of course, they were all kinda the same network, and despite a few changes, the show was kinda the same ol’ show.  As you know, this year features the first openly trans male competitor.  Because of that, Ru has tweaked one of her catchphrases.  Ru used to say, “Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win,” when it was time to “lip sync for your life”.  She’ll now say, “Racers, start your engines, and may the best drag queen win”.  It’s the little things that mean so much – an adage I’ve never found to be true.

In a related story, Eddie Izzard is now formally using the pronouns “She/Her”.  As luck would have it, I’ve always called Eddie “Girl”.  Or was it “Gurl”?

Three of HBO’s most popular series are headed down the path to reboot.  The network has announced that new versions of True Blood and In Treatment are in the works.  However, the return of Sex and the City got the most attention.  Not surprisingly, only three of the original co-stars have signed on – with Kim Cattrall once again demurring.  “I’m lucky enough to have the choice.”  Well, the gay fans are not having it.  No quartet, no viewers.

Meanwhile, ABC is looking at resuming All My Children…as a nighttime soap!  The plans are to follow a younger generation of characters with mostly new actors.  However, Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos have indicated that they’d be interested in returning.  Meanwhile, La Lucci is sitting by the phone.

“Gay man has too much to drink and legally changes name to Celine Dion.”  
– New Year’s Day headline from England.  Not only is it embarrassing, it’s woefully out of date. 
I mean, Celine Dion – how retro!

I know we’re only a few days into 2021, but it seems an awful lot like 2020.  Then again, last year started very differently than it ended, so perhaps there’s hope.  Pandemic or not, traditions must be upheld.  While I would typically have a raucous viewing party of Lindsay Wagner’s latest oeuvre, Big Mama Masters allows no visitors into Casa Masters.  Instead, I was at the home of a friend in my “bubble”.  When we sat down to watch a Wagner flick (courtesy of a fan), we discovered the DVD was damaged in the post.  As luck would have it, this friend asked me last year if I could track down a 1977 made-for-TV retelling of It’s a Wonderful Life – suspiciously titled It Happened One Christmas.  So we watched my bootleg copy of this forgotten film, starring Marlo Thomas, Wayne Rogers, Orson Welles, and Cloris Leachman as Clara the Angel (with the worst Cockney accent this side of My Fair Lady).  While not what I’d call a “classic”, it passed the time adequately.

On TV, we saw Mariah Carey pop in on Coop and Cohen, winched into one of her 9-year-old daughter’s dresses.  If she inhaled, she’d have popped out in HD!  Meanwhile, Ryan Seacrest looked positively petrified on ABC, while Jennifer Lopez appeared dismayed that someone actually turned her mike on.  And in case you don’t know, the few people in Times Square were actually invited first responders.  Oh, those poor people.

Elsewhere on New Year’s Eve, the family of El Presidente partied like it was 1999 – literally.  With nary a mask in sight (I’m told they were banned), the entertainment was straight out of the ‘90s – people like Terri Nunn from Berlin, Vanilla Ice, and Taylor Dayne (who had just been on Billy Masters LIVE).  The gays took umbrage at the participation of Terri and Taylor – very popular acts on the Pride circuit.  Boycotts were called for – much like when Jennifer Holliday considered singing at El Presidente’s Inauguration.  While I cannot speak of the others, I do know that Taylor used the opportunity of a plum paycheck and private jet to visit her ailing parents in the Mar-a-Lago vicinity.  Not an excuse, but an explanation.

Closer to the Equator, Jeffrey Sanker threw a party for gay revelers.  At first, I thought perhaps Puerto Vallarta was allowing gatherings.  However, in the state of Jalisco, parties are banned.  But Nuevo Vallarta (in the neighboring state of Riviera Nayarit) allowed them.  The festivities were moved, with enforced limited capacity, temperature checks, and mandatory masks.  As a further precaution, Sanker asked revelers to keep the address secret and banned photos and videos.  That didn’t stop people from sending snaps into BillyMasters.com.

Before moving on, let’s wrap up 2020.  Kirk Cameron made news – looking like a slightly younger, slightly gayer Neil Patrick Harris – by hosting a caroling event (as straight men apparently do).  Candace Cameron Bure deftly deflected and shoved him under the bus by saying that she was not in attendance.  Thanks, sis.

Tyler Posey placed the star on his tree bottomless.  Well, perhaps not bottomless – he was, after all, in the photo!  Meanwhile, Elton John dressed as Santa and promised to resume his farewell tour.  All snaps on our website.

And we said farewell to 2020 on Billy Masters LIVE with a wildly popular year-end edition.  Tens of thousands have tuned in so far, making it our most-viewed episode.  We’ll be back with new shows soon.  In the meantime, check out all 75 episodes of season one on Billy Masters TV on YouTube or at BillyMasters.com/TV.

We’d also like to acknowledge the passing of Broadway great Rebecca Luker, only months after revealing she had ALS.  Party Monster killer, Michael Alig, died of a suspected heroin overdose.  And Marcus D’Amico – who appeared as Mouse in the first miniseries based on Tales of the City – died of pneumonia at 55.

To the world, she was Mary Ann on Gilligan’s Island.  But I want to remember my friend, Dawn Wells.  Let me take you back about 15 years to LAX at the height of the holiday season.  A storm was raging back east and most flights were cancelled.  People were frantically trying to get one of the last remaining seats to New York.  I found myself near the front of the line when I saw Dawn.  We’d only met briefly in the past, but I wasn’t gonna let Mary Ann go to the back of the line.  I silently slipped her in front of me (a technique I’ve perfected over the years).  As the gate attendant tried to find her a single seat, she corrected them.  “Two seats – for me and my friend,” she said, gesturing to me.  She got us on that flight (in Business, if I recall correctly) and we had a great time.  Rest in peace.

One of the biggest stories in our community was the eagerly anticipated coming out of Aaron Schock.  We all knew something was up.  Who knew it would be his ass?  After being snapped playing with a plethora of porn-calibre men for many months, a cache of nude photos of the defrocked Representative fell into our hot little hands.  Many of those snaps focused on his perky patootie, to say nothing of his erect penis.  He wrote a long, rambling essay about coming out – but why read words when you can see pictures…and videos…on BillyMasters.com.

The pandemic made stars of many people.  But the best show on TV was a daily reality show starring The Cuomos.  Oh, those were nail-biters.  And those plot twists.  Who expected Andy to have prisoners make disinfectant and hand sanitizer?  What about the rivalry with his hot, younger brother?  Or when Chris got the virus?  My favorite was after he recovered, he was seen cavorting nude on the grounds (which you can see on our website).  Cast Joan Collins as Mrs. Cuomo, and this would be a hit on Bravo!

The coronavirus got serious while I was at Miami’s Winter Party – a fundraiser for the National LGBTQ Task Force.  They took it VERY seriously, doling out sanitizer and distancing precautions.  I hunkered down in the VIP area – which is not typically known for housing the hunks at a circuit party.  Happily, I found a baker’s dozen of lookers.  I have a theory: the hotter someone is, the less likely you’ll catch anything worse than crabs.  And like clockwork, I was itchy…but Covid-free.  I zipped back to Boston to undergo surgery for a completely unrelated incident.  The next day, all non-essential procedures were cancelled.  And so it began.

While I was recovering in a sling (which, ironically, is how I was injured in the first place), Seth Rudetsky and his hubby James Wesley started Stars in the House – a twice-daily chat show raising money for the Actors Fund.  I congratulated Seth, and he said, “So why aren’t you doing one?  We all need to keep people entertained,” like this was the Hollywood Canteen.

That’s how Billy Masters LIVE was born.  As we wrap up our first season, I’m proud to say we’ve done 75 shows.  It’s also taken roughly a decade off my life.  I’m not complaining.  Well, I am complaining.  It’s grueling.  Not as grueling as picking up trash on the side of the road after some public nudity with members of the Providence High School Handball Team.  But it’s grueling nonetheless.  We look back on 2020 this week – Tuesday and Thursday at 3PM Eastern / Noon Pacific on Billy Masters TV on YouTube or at BillyMasters.com/TV.

The best part has been spending time with people who are my actual friends – to say nothing of making some new ones.  It’s impossible to choose favorites – but if I didn’t mention Jenifer Lewis first, I would pay for it dearly.  The legendary Ed Asner was another.  Loni Anderson was incredibly honest – and funny!  Gloria Allred helped us make sense of this crazy political season.  Both Anita and Ruth Pointer were so exciting.  Charles Busch bailed me out on more than one occasion.  Sam Harris never disappoints.  Lainie Kazan and Michele Lee made history by talking – for the first time together – about the disaster that was Seesaw.  Fran Drescher dropped by to tawk – twice.  We sat down with Marilyn Maye – in person!  We did a series of drag shows with Frank DeCaro, and dished porn with Chi Chi LaRue and Bruce Vilanch.  And The Billy Masters Players performed scenes from Hairspray with members of the Broadway, tour, television, and film productions; Dreamgirls with an original Dream, and Jackie’s Back with everyone else.  I can hardly wait for season two!

Success in life is based on expectations.  All you expect from me are some witty quips and catty comments.  I end every show by saying, “If we’re here, we’re live”.  Not much to live up to.  Ellen DeGeneres, on the other hand, ends every show by saying, “Be kind to one another” – and apparently is anything but offstage.  The more you know…

I anticipated 2020 would be the crowning achievement of my journalistic career.  I was celebrating 25 years of this column in print.  I don’t know about you, but it feels more like a quarter of a century.  It was a year unlike any other.  Still, a celebration’s a celebration, and tradition dictates we must look back – whether we’d like to or not.

As 2019 drew to a close, Sara Gilbert divorced her latest wife.  At the time, I quipped that made two things Sara dumped – Linda Perry and The Talk.  A few months later, Marie Osmond left The Talk.  It seems like she just joined the show – which she did!  Then Eve announced she was leaving.  But she’d been phoning it in…literally.  She’s been quarantining with her hubby in London (and kudos to whomever is handling that flawless technical wizardry).  New co-hosts will be Elaine Welteroth, who is only known to the handful who watched the most recent season of Project Runway, and Amanda Kloots, who is only known because her husband, Broadway performer Nick Cordero, succumbed to the coronavirus.  The Widow Cordero turned Nick’s ashes into a vase, got a book deal, and joined TV’s least-watched talk show.  Talk about making lemonade!  But woe be to whomever breaks that vase!

Meanwhile on The View, I can’t believe Abby Huntsman has only been gone since January.  I predicted the return of my future sister-in-law, Sara Haines.  Then Meghan McCain got pregnant.  Ana Navarro filled in more and more.  Rumors swirled that McCain wouldn’t return.  She assured everyone she’d be back.  And then…nothing.  She hasn’t shown up on camera since – even with everyone working from home.  What will 2021 bring?  Perhaps less Meghan.  The show is certainly less without her – less yelling, less childish tantrums…just less.

If 2020 taught us nothing else, we learned the true meaning of the word “schadenfreude”.  The literal translation is deriving pleasure or joy from someone’s failures or humiliation.  A visual translation might be a video from Oprah Winfrey’s Vision Tour.  O was onstage in Los Angeles and said, “Wellness to me means all things in balance, and balance doesn’t mean all things are equal or at peace at all times.”  At that moment, she lost balance and fell to the ground.  Correction – she tried NOT to fall to the ground, and kinda went into a cartwheel before landing on her assets.  While her tumble only garnered a 4.2 from the Romanian judge, it measured 5.5 on the Richter scale!  To Oprah’s credit, she noted the irony, quipping, “It’s nice to be talking about balance AND falling.”  To our credit, we have the video on BillyMasters.com.

Our last Ask Billy question of the year comes from Justin in Dallas.  “What do you know about Machine Gun Kelly?  He’s so frickin’ hot in those new photos.  Is that all him filling out that sock?”

Now I’m the one with questions – starting with the sock.  Turns out, MGK was sporting a cock sock on his nether regions while posing for Spin magazine in a see-through suit.  ‘Cause, you know, that’s what the kids do.  I know very little about him – except that he thinks he’s gonna marry Megan Fox, while she ain’t even following him on Instagram.  Oh, the drama.  I also have friends who were at the Spin photoshoot who tell me that the sock was snug.  I’ll run pics on BillyMasters.com.

When the sock doesn’t fit, it’s time to acquit yet another column.  This one certainly had a little bit of everything – including a side of Budapest and Brussels that Rick Steves probably dreams of!  You can get all that and more on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that will always leave you Hungary for more!  If you’d like some of my goulash, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before anyone inserts anything else into my body!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

I don’t watch much reality TV – except for The Bachelor franchise, which has been like gay porn this season.  But I know enough to know Zach Rance was on Big Brother during that season when they foisted Frankie Grande upon us.  And, according to Zach, their “showmance” included quite a bit of foisting!  “I fell in love with who he is as a person.  Super funny, super smart.  Good looking guy.  As time went on, we got so close that I wasn’t really sure if I had feelings for him or not.  You know, I’ve always been straight so it was never a thing to like guys.  But after the show happened, him and I did have a relationship that was more than just friends.  And he was the first guy that I ever hooked up with.  After that, I was very unsure about the direction of my sexuality because I like women.”  Someone else saying “him and I”.  I’m sure it’s making some of you cringe!

Lest you think Zach is all talk, he’s hooked up with fellow BB alum Jozea Flores, and they’re charging $100 for OnlyFans members to see a 30-second clip of them.  Uh, pass.  For once, Frankie Grande is looking good!

Meanwhile, Big Brother Hungary featured some male contestants in the shower together.  Now – why don’t we do that over here?  Fear not – you can see the uncut footage on BillyMasters.com.

In a twist not even I could have manufactured, we actually have a second Hungarian item of the week.  You probably don’t know Jozsef Szajer – although the name “Jozsef” has adorned many a Bel Ami video.  This particular Jozsef is a highly ranked official in Hungary.  He’s also vociferously anti-gay rights.  He’s probably the last person police expected to find at a “20-person gay orgy” in Brussels!  Oh, but it gets better.  When the police arrived to break up what they simply thought was a house party violating quarantine rules, they discovered a gaggle of nude guys…including one shimmying down a drainpipe!  When they caught that individual, they also discovered a backpack filled with narcotics!  Yup – Jozsef!  The next day, he not only apologized for “a personal failing”, but also declared diplomatic immunity from the charges.  Why doesn’t Hungary do a reality show about this?  P.S.  He has since resigned (and some reports claim there were 50 men at the orgy).

You know what has been renewed for a second season?  Billy Masters LIVE!  Last week was supposed to be our final shows for 2020 (we’ll be back in early 2021).  Our penultimate show featured Arnetia Walker and Mindy Sterling talking about the livestream of Stan Zimmerman’s Yes, Virginia.  We even had clips of Arnetia in Dreamgirls and Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills.  And then, the best holiday gift ever – wrapping up the season with Ruth Pointer of the fabulous Pointer Sisters.  We had clips, we had dish, we had joy, we had tears – it was everything you’d expect from Billy Masters LIVE.  Then we got a call – could Taylor Dayne come on as a little pre-Christmas guest?  Not only am I a fan, but I’ve worked with Taylor at many festivals and benefits around the country.  How could I say no?  You can see us together on Tuesday, December 23^rd at 3PM Eastern / Noon Pacific on my YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV.  Or just go to BillyMasters.com/TV.

One of the few actors I admire for both his body of work and his physical body is Sebastian Stan.  And yet, I’m going to do the unthinkable and give him a tongue lashing…although, on reflection, it’s not that unthinkable.  Hulu has announced that they are making a limited series based on Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee.  And if you think Lily James is miscast as Pam, what do you think about Sebastian as Tommy Lee?  On the positive side, the series will focus heavily on their sexcapades – including their honeymoon sex tape.  While Tommy Lee has his attributes, he’d kill for Stan’s body – as would I.  So the more we see of that, the better.  Pam & Tommy is being directed by Craig Gillespie, who directed I, Tonya.  Who knows – maybe it’ll work.

There’s a whole lot of television projects announced for 2021 that I’m torn about.  On the positive side, an LA Law reboot centered on Blair Underwood?  Count me in!  And, why not have some of his former co-stars involved.  Corbin could run the firm.  Susan Dey could get coffee.  On the other hand, do I need a Night Court reboot for John Larroquette?  Pass.  Speaking of “pass”, FOX passed on an Empire spinoff about Cookie.  Other networks are in discussions, but I don’t see it happening.  Instead, FOX picked up a new version of Fantasy Island.  Am I the only one who remembers the failed Malcolm McDowell attempt?  It limped through 13 episodes.  Lastly, you don’t need to be psychic to know a Superstore spinoff centered on Bo & Cheyenne will crash and burn.

Our Ask Billy question came from dozens of you asking about the latest racy video from River Viiperi – a name I would never know if I didn’t write this column.  The raging River with a penchant for scantily-clad footage got himself into hot water due to his shower faucet!  He was filming in the tub – as one does – when the camera panned past his chrome fixture.  And in the reflection, you could clearly see…well, you’ll see it at BillyMasters.com.

When River is far from squeaky clean, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I must take a moment to say that I saw The Prom, and James Corden didn’t bother me at all.  I found him very…Corden-esque.  More fair and balanced fare can be found on www.BillyMasters.com – the site reflects its readers.  For my personal touch, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Tulsi is once again relevant.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

James Corden is being reamed (sigh…it’s been months since I was reamed).  Corden’s came courtesy of his performance as a gay character in The Prom.  Many critics have ripped him to shreds.  But my personal favorite was the Vanity Fair scribe calling it “one of the worst film performances of the 21^st century.”

That leads into a special installment of Actors Trashing Actors.  Glenn Close recently talked about awards.  “I honestly feel that to be nominated by your peers is about as good as it gets.”  So far, so good.  Then Close adds, “I’ve never understood how you could honestly compare performances, you know?”  Oh, you know this is going to be good.  “I remember the year Gwyneth Paltrow won over that incredible actress who was in Central Station and I thought, ‘What?’  It doesn’t make sense.”  I don’t know what makes me more giddy – that Glenn names Gwyneth, or that she cannot come up with the name of the actress she thought was so great!  BTW, it was Fernanda Montenegro.  You don’t remember her?  Or the film?  That’s ‘cause it was Brazilian.

I wouldn’t be Billy Masters if I didn’t report on rumors.  After all, that’s my bread and butter (which has more ingredients than Kay’s peanut butter cookies).  This week, Shawn Mendes came out – and explained why he hasn’t come out.  “There was desperation for me to come out as being gay, which is such a ridiculous thing.”  Is it?  Is it ridiculous?  Because when I think of Shawn Mendes being gay…I ain’t laughing!  “It’s just completely ignorant and insensitive of people to be on that shit.”

Shortly after giving that interview, Shawn was…well, ignorant and insensitive.  During the iHeartRadio Jingle Ball, Shawn referred to Sam Smith as “he”, when Smith prefers “they”.  He (being Mendes) apologized via Instagram, which is what the kids do: “I’m so sorry for referring to you as a ‘he’ for your jingle ball introduction.  It absolutely slipped my mind.  Won’t happen again.  Sending you so much love!  Also you absolutely are one of the funniest people I’ve ever met.”  And I’m sure Sam, like me, never gets tired of hearing that!

Remember Tulsi Gabbard?  We haven’t talked about her in months.  Perhaps it’s closer to a year.  She’s the one Hillary accused of being a Russian asset (Tulsi filed a defamation suit, and dropped it four months later).  She’s currently being labeled as “transphobic”, due to legislation she introduced last week.  The bill, called the Protect Women’s Sports Act, would base participation in women’s sports on “biological sex”.  Defending her stance, Gabbard said, “Title IX was designed to give women and girls an equal chance to succeed, including in sports.  Allowing biological males to compete in women’s sports diminishes that equality and takes away from the original intent of Title IX.”  She adds, “It is not a level playing field.” 

While Tulsi is a polarizing figure, it’s an interesting topic.  We’ve discussed it many times in our column, and on a particularly fascinating Billy Masters LIVE with trans pioneer Buck Angel.  What I learned is that male and female sports are not separated for sexual reasons, but for biological reasons.  Caitlyn Jenner may identify as female, but she still has all of the musculoskeletal advantages of Bruce.  So, Tulsi is right – it’s not a level playing field.  That said, it’s also discriminatory.  Ultimately, I don’t have a solution – that’s well beyond my pay grade.

There is a long and complicated history with trans contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race.  It came to a head in 2018, when RuPaul said Peppermint wouldn’t have been cast if she had already started transitioning (Peppermint made her revelation after taping was completed, but before it aired).  “You can identify as a woman and say you’re transitioning, but it changes once you start changing your body.  It takes on a different thing; it changes the whole concept of what we’re doing”.  In the face of criticism, Ru retorted, “You can take performance enhancing drugs and still be an athlete, just not in the Olympics”.  Like the Olympics, Drag Race is an independent show with its own rules.  However, rules are meant to be broken.  When season 13 starts on New Year’s Day, you’ll see the first openly transgender male competitor.  Gottmik is described as an “LA-based celebrity makeup artist”.

Time for some more of Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions.  Nothing makes me happier than a little ho, ho, ho – except perhaps a big ho, ho, ho.  And this week, our gifts come from two of my favorite people.  First, Wilson Cruz – that delicious mochalicious man – is plugging The Star Trek Discovery GLAAD Collection.  Star Trek and GLAAD have come together to create T-shirts, mugs, and blankets – with 100 percent of the proceeds going to GLAAD.  Check out Shop.StarTrek.com/Collections/GLAAD to pick up a gift for that special Trekkie in your life.

When live theatre was shut down, I worried we’d never get to see Audra McDonald in A Streetcar Named Desire, which was planned for the Williamstown Theatre Festival.  I wasn’t the only one upset.  So the esteemed festival partnered with Audible and produced an audio version of the play…and it’s TERRIFIC!  You can buy it at Audible.com or Amazon for that special theatre buff in your life.

This week, we’re kinda breaking with our theme of Divas of December on Billy Masters LIVE.  Then again, Sam Harris has never been shy about being called the D-word.  He’s a “diva” in the best sense of the term.  And he’s out promoting his latest work – a film version of his one-man show, HAM: A Musical Memoir.   And his novel, The Substance of All Things.  And his remastered CDs.  He’s a busy boy – and he’ll join us on Tuesday.  On Thursday, the outrageous drag diva Kay Sedia from Chico’s Angels will be popping in to bake some Christmas cookies and show off her latest Tupperware.  We’ll be joined by another KS – Karl Schmid, who you may know as an entertainment reporter on Los Angeles’s ABC7.  We’ll discuss his F+Stigma campaign – designed to fight the stigma of being HIV+ (Karl came out as HIV-positive in 2018).  Once again, I’ll be broadcasting from the fabulous Filth2Go Beach House in Fort Lauderdale.  Regardless of my locale, my shows can always be found on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV.  Or just go to BillyMasters.com/TV.

Ellen Page is now Elliot Page.  And Elliot is not only transgender, but also nonbinary.  “I love that I am trans.  And I love that I am queer.”  While I applaud this, it also confuses me – because some people are criticized if you use a trans person’s so-called “dead” name.  I am quick to point out that Elliot didn’t appear in Juno and get an Oscar nomination – Ellen did.  It’s like when Caitlyn Jenner posed with those Olympic medals – which I believe Bruce won.  Anyway, Page (first name redacted) added this: “The truth is, despite feeling profoundly happy right now and knowing how much privilege I carry, I am also scared.  I’m scared of the invasiveness, the hate, the ‘jokes’, and the violence.”  Well, that takes the wind out of the sails of this item.

When I saw the first episode of the reboot of Saved by the Bell, I was shocked – shocked at how awful it was.  But I was triple shocked by Josie Totah, who plays mean girl Lexi.  What shocked me first was how fantastic she was – but I’ve always had a penchant for mean girls.  Then I was shocked when her character announced that she was trans – I had no idea.  Then I was shocked one last time when I learned that Josie is trans in real life – where have I been?  Regardless, I say, “Good for her”.  She not only had a hand in shaping her character’s narrative, she’s also a producer on the show.  And, thus far, she is the only – and I do mean ONLY – reason to tune in.

I was thrilled to see Alexandra Billings on The Conners last week.  The trans actress plays a trans character who is a supervisor at the factory where Becky works.  She was really terrific – and I’m thrilled to announce it wasn’t just some one-and-done scene.  She’s gonna be around for a while.

Then there’s J.J. Hawkins – another trans actor – who has been cast as a trans college student on Charmed.  One of the trades reported the news this way: “This is another step forward in authentic representation with a trans actor playing a trans role.  The news of Hawkins’ casting doesn’t come at a better time considering this week marks Trans Awareness Week.”  What I find more important than the casting is that all of these trans characters are showing up matter-of-factly in high-profile shows.  Well, some high-profile shows.  And Charmed.

Love is in the air.  And what’s better than a couple of hot gay guys with enough product in their hair to leave you asking yourself, “What Ozone?”  Yes, I’m obviously speaking of Jonathan Mean Girls Bennett and Jaymes Chippendales Vaughan.  Jaymes did the proposing during the couple’s Christmas card photo session.  In mid-shoot, Jaymes burst into a song he wrote, which ended with a proposal – all caught on camera, of course.  Congrats!  By the by, you can see Bennett in the Hallmark Christmas flick, The Christmas House.

Given the year we’ve had, it was probably difficult for lots of people to spend a day giving thanks.  And yet, Thanksgiving 2020 reminded many how fortunate we are…especially in light of the grim alternatives.  Leave it to a gay porn performer to find the silver lining.  Pierce Paris (a name I’ve never heard before) took to Twitter and demonstrated how he could get stuffed by a turkey.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Making use of some MacGyver skills – to say nothing of some limber limbs – Pierce found there’s more than one way to truss a turkey…drumsticks and all!

We have time for a very brief Ask Billy question.  Danny in Phoenix asks, “I’m a big MMA fan, and heard Simon Marini started doing gay porn.  Have you seen the videos?  Is he gay?”

First, let me come to grips with the fact that a fan of Billy Masters is also an MMA enthusiast!  As to Simon Marini, he is known in fighting circles as The Mutant.  His porn work is done under the name of Markus Kage.  His latest career move was a logical step after years of modeling and stripping – which he started to help with depression.  You’ll be depressed when I tell you he has a girlfriend.  That said, he’s still allowed many guys to do many things to him that many wouldn’t – and those guys include Pierce Paris.  Oh, yes – this straight MMA fighter is getting mounted by a guy who was previously assaulted by a turkey!  You can see love with all the trimmings on BillyMasters.com.

When all our items cum together, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I may not know anything about martial arts, but I do know where you can find the hottest guys.  On www.BillyMasters.com – the site where no belts of any color are necessary.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Pierce Paris shows us what he can do with a Yule log!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Billy Masters LIVE is celebrating the “Divas of December”.  This Thursday, we get into the holiday season with Darlene Love!  She usually spends the holidays performing to capacity crowds all over the country.  Due to circumstances, this year she filmed a special concert with her band.  Love for the Holidays debuts on December 5^th and, of course, includes “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”.  Watch it on SonyHall.com.

Speaking of divas, Sheryl Lee Ralph is a warrior in the fight against AIDS.  On December 5^th, she’ll be celebrating the 30^th anniversary of her fundraiser, Divas Simply Singing, with proceeds going to Project Angel Food.  Tune in for the virtual event at DivasSimplySinging.com or in Southern California on KTLA at 7PM Pacific.

You all know Matthew Morrison as Mr. Schuester in Glee.  But to me, he’ll always be the original (and best) Link in the Broadway musical, Hairspray.  A whole new generation will get to know him as the title character in Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Musical.  The musical, which has been staged on Broadway, will be coming to our homes courtesy of NBC on December 9^th.

If you’re curious what happened to little Cindy Lou Who after that fateful night, check out Who’s Holiday!  The play, written by Matthew Lombardo, prevailed in a lengthy court battle against Mrs. Dr. Seuss and was deemed a First Amendment protected parody.  The 2017 off-Broadway run starred Lesli Margherita as Miss Who recounting her sordid history after that night with the Grinch – and it was a RIOT!  A video will stream on December 11^th at 8PM Eastern and raise money for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.  To watch, go to BroadwayCares.org.

This leads us perfectly into the first of Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions for 2020.  For lo these many years, I have assisted the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to find gifts for their loved ones (and some obligatory others).  Each of my selections has that certain je ne sais quoi that could only come from moi – someone who is filled with lots of quoi!  Keeping with tradition, we kick things off with one of my favorite gifts.  Every year, Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS releases a collectible Broadway Legends holiday ornament.  Previous ceramic celebs have included Carol Channing, Barbra Streisand, Bernadette Peters, Patti LuPone, Angela Lansbury, and oodles of others.  This year, Glenn Close is ready for her close-up in Sunset Boulevard.  “I’m sure Norma Desmond would be thrilled to be a gorgeous Christmas ornament – as long as she is hung in good light!” said Close, who I’m sure was lit by Hog Eye.  You can grab her doppelgänger at BroadwayCares.org.

There aren’t many singers as shimmery as the angelic Liz Callaway – who most of you know from numerous Broadway and animated classics.  Now, she’s stepping into the holiday arena with Comfort and Joy – An Acoustic Christmas.  This is a perfect way to get into the spirit of the season with a collection of original and classic carols – and a perfect complement to her 2013 release, Merry and Bright.  Grab them both on LizCallaway.com or Amazon.com.

You know how Billy Masters LIVE was taking two weeks off for Thanksgiving?  Surprise – we did a special live broadcast on Thanksgiving itself, which you’d have known about if you subscribed for free to our YouTube channel.  On All Thanksgiving Eve, I was struck by the many social media posts from people who were sad to be spending the holiday alone.  Even I, your beloved Billy, was in the same boat – all alone in the sumptuous Filth2Go Beach House in Fort Lauderdale.  So, I thought why not be alone together?  I reached out to the divine Charles Busch and we decided to regale viewers with some gabbing and gossiping.  More than 3,000 people have tuned in as of this writing.  One fan dashed off an incredibly heartfelt thank you note which made it all worthwhile.  You can watch all of our shows on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV.  Or just go to BillyMasters.com/TV.

Continuing the theatre of the absurd known as the American political system, El Presidente got a rude awakening in Wisconsin.  After spending about $3 million on a recount, he received some shocking results – Joe Biden’s margin of victory was actually wider!  Now, if only someone would launch an investigation into voter fraud at Dancing with the Stars.  Some skullduggery was certainly afoot.

Representative Matt Gaetz – you remember him, the one who revealed he adopted a “son” – gave El Presidente some unsolicited advice.  “President Trump should pardon Flynn, the Thanksgiving turkey, and everyone from himself, to his admin, to Joe Exotic if he has to.”  How very Netflix of him.  And how retro of Gaetz to still be talking Tiger King when everyone else has moved onto the The Great British Bake Off.

With the Trumps soon to be vacating the White House in a scene reminiscent of Pacific Heights, the rehabilitation of their legacy has begun.  We now hear that Melanie really REALLY wanted to bathe the White House in rainbow-colored lights for Pride Month.  Reports from two independent sources indicate that the First Lady’s wishes were hindered by White House Chief of Staff, Mark Meadows – the same person who once swore that gay marriage would lead to a “constitutional crisis”.  Turns out, that crisis was ushered in long after gay marriage, and seems to have coincided with his boss’ “election”.

Allegedly, El Presidente didn’t want to rush Amy Coney Barrett onto the Supreme Court.  That dastardly deed was dictated by Mitch McConnell.  The senator’s former chief of staff Josh Holmes (no relation) related a conversation between the Senate Majority Leader and the President.  “McConnell told him two things.  He said, ‘First, I’m going to put out a statement that says we’re going to fill the vacancy.’  Second, he said, ‘You’ve gotta nominate Amy Coney Barrett.’”  Like we didn’t know who was pulling the strings.

Two years ago, I saw Freddie Fox act alongside his father Edward in a West End production of An Ideal Husband – and he was indeed ideal.  You can see him playing Margaret Thatcher’s son on The Crown.  He recently gave an interview which spoke volumes.  “I’ve had girlfriends, but I wouldn’t wish to say ‘I am this or I am that’, because at some time in my life I might fall in love with a man,” he said, leaving the door firmly open.  He then tackled sexual fluidity.  “I think being able to say that you have a more rounded experience as a human being, whether it be through sexuality or whatever, is now perceived as a real advantage”.  He’s had some experience with being more rounded – he played Boy George’s pal Marilyn in the biopic Worried About the Boy.

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Kevin in New Hampshire: “I think Josh O’Connor is super sexy [he plays Prince Charles on The Crown].  I’ve seen him interviewed, and he comes off gay.  Any thoughts?  And hot pics of him?”

Time for another spirited round of “Gay or British”.  It never gets old.  Recently, O’Connor went public with girlfriend, Margot Hauer-King.  Of course, that doesn’t mean anything.  In fact, he made a strange comment after playing Johnny in the film God’s Own Country: “I know I’d dated the Johnny type in the past, emotionally inarticulate, unable to love and be loved, and I’ve found, through the process of playing Johnny, some kind of peace and hopefully a greater understanding and empathy.”  Of course, he may mean that he’s dated the female equivalent of Johnny.  By the by, his character Johnny has quite a bit of gay sex.  And, being a British film, there’s quite a bit of nudity.  If you’d like a gander of O’Connor’s bits and bobs, check out BillyMasters.com.

When we’re revealing Prince Charles’ scepter, it’s time to end yet another column.  Come to think of it, we have a nude photo of the real Prince Charles, so we’ll post that as well.  Despite being an annus horribilis (and I’ve known my share of horrible annuses), there are still things I’m thankful for.  I’m thankful for my health, my sense of humor, and my unfailing ability to satisfy a man even with a six-foot gap.  I’m thankful for my friends and family – even when they tell me to stay away.  I’m thankful for everyone who helps make this column possible each and every week.  But most of all, I’m thankful for you – my devoted readers (and viewers).  You can be thankful by checking out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that provides a cornucopia of carnal delights.  If you have a question, I apparently have lots of time on my hands.  So drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before our 52^nd column of 2020.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

While in the middle of my Floridian frenzy, I found myself sucked into six hours of the BET miniseries, The New Edition Story.  Being a Bostonian of a certain age, I vividly remember the splash these boys from Roxbury made – to say nothing of the drama around Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston.  It was the perfect distraction.  I took particular note of the scene when the boys’ manager (played by Michael Rapaport) found Bobby in a parked car, high as a kite.  It wasn’t so much seeing him do cocaine; it was the sight of two female heads bobbing up and down on his lap.  Certainly I’m familiar with vehicular fellatio, but I didn’t expect to see it on basic cable.

Days later, it reared its head again.  On Grey’s Anatomy, Alex Landi (playing Dr. Kim) offered to give Jake Borelli (as Dr. Schmitt) a blow job in the supply closet.  On network television!  In primetime!  Being responsible professionals during a pandemic, Borelli said, “Can we leave my mask on?”  It’s been my experience that the recipient’s mouth is rarely employed during such acts.  If you missed it, check out our website.

A recent addition to our community explained one of the things that made it easy for her to come out.  Nikki Blonsky said, “The LGBTQIA community has embraced me since the moment I got Hairspray.  They welcomed me with open arms and I felt so a part of the community already.  For me, it was a long time coming.  I wanted to date women and it just was a moment in my life where I was finally just really ready to be myself.”

Shortly after coming out, Nikki came on Billy Masters LIVE for a special show alongside the Link from the TV version of Hairspray, Garrett Clayton.  We even surprised them with members of the original Broadway cast and national tour – because that’s what we do on Billy Masters LIVE.  We’ve taken a couple of weeks off for Thanksgiving, but we’ll return with new shows on December 1^st – World AIDS Day.  In fact, we’re closing out the year with Billy’s 12 Divas of December.  Stay tuned for more details.  In the meantime, head to Billy Masters TV on YouTube, or our website of BillyMasters.com/TV.  All of our shows are there and, as one network used to say, “If you haven’t seen it, it’s new to you!”  By the way, our ratings have suddenly skyrocketed.  We’ve reached a new plateau – and you know how much I enjoy looking down from on high.

Everyone has different things to be thankful for, and some of those things stem from childhood.  Last week, auteur Ryan Murphy revealed that his parents did not exactly embrace his homosexuality.  “I went to my junior prom and the next day my parents took me to a psychiatrist to cure me.  Thankfully, I had a really good shrink, who at the end of our several sessions called my parents in and said, ‘You have a choice here: You can try and change him and lose him, or you can accept him and love him.’”  Ryan channeled that into his film adaptation of the Broadway musical The Prom, which hits Netflix on December 4^th.

Sexy Ryan Phillippe had a bad experience after making history as the first gay teenage character on a soap opera (One Life to Live).  But he wasn’t applauded by everyone.  “I mean, this was 1992, and I was playing a gay teenager and I was in a Christian school.  They weren’t happy about it.”  Reception at home wasn’t much better.  “I thought my parents were going to disown me.”  I can’t imagine what they thought of 54!

If Cohen loves Camp, he’ll love our Ask Billy question.  Danny in San Francisco writes, “Did you hear that the Zakar Twins said they’d release some nude photos if Biden won?  Well, where are they?”

Actually, they promised a whole lotta things.  Things like this: “Will post nudes if (when?) Trump loses”.  They kinda modified the deal when they heard of Biden’s win.   “Alright, alright, a deals a deal.  Butts out for Biden!  You want full-frontal?  Wait for AOC to take office”.  Of course, you don’t want to wait.  You just have to check out BillyMasters.com.

When brothers’ butts are out for Biden (or, I venture to say, anyone else who comes along), it’s time to end yet another column.  Sorry to take this week off, but I’m dealing with some sticky situations – none of which concern my penis (at least, not yet).  But there are more than enough penii for you on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that shows full-frontal with or without AOC!  Even though I’m tied up, I’m never too busy to answer your questions.  Feel free to write me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Scott Baio gets promoted to Manager of Mugs at Michael’s!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Remember Michael Cohen?  El Presidente’s former fixer?  He appears in a tantalizing video – courtesy of Matthew Camp, who is a former NYC go-go boy.  For some reason, Cohen made a Cameo video where he says the following: “I just want to say how amazing Matthew Camp is on OnlyFans.  Having a blast enjoying every minute with you guys.  Good luck.  Love it.  Stay safe.  Stay Covid-free.  And, again, OnlyFans – having a blast with him.”  Things that make you go, “Hmm”.  I smell an endorsement coming for Billy Masters LIVE.  In the meantime, you can see both Camp and Cohen on BillyMasters.com.

Then there’s Viggo Mortensen – who, by all accounts, is heterosexual.  He’s writing, directing, and starring in his next film.  My God – he’s like the male Streisand.  All he has to do is sing the theme song wearing Lee Press On Nails!  Anyway, Falling is about a homophobic and racist man suffering from dementia.  Viggo plays the man’s son – who happens to be a gay, married man.  Mortensen claims that this is not “a gimmick, anchor, or some trigger”.  In fact, he didn’t originally write the role to be gay – but felt it made for a more compelling story.  He added, “I apologize to all the proctologists for casting David Cronenberg” – who plays a proctologist in the film.  I might add that I don’t believe Viggo ever met any hobbits in real life!

Our opening quote could have been, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”  Melissa McCarthy’s upcoming flick, Superintelligence, had a carefully thought-out promotional plan.  During 20 Days of Kindness, HBO Max would donate $20K a day to a worthy charity.  What could go wrong, right?  Wrong.  One of the recipients was Exodus Cry, an organization that is against reproductive choice and vilifies the LGBTQ community.  When Melissa heard about this, she was outraged enough to cry through an apology.  “There’s no other way to say it – we blew it.  We made a mistake and we backed a charity that, upon proper vetting, stands for everything that we do not.  So I want to thank everyone on social media who said, ‘What are you doing?  Are you sure you want to back this?’  Because the answer was no, we do not.”  How do you rectify that?  McCarthy says, “We have pulled it.”  So who’s getting that $20K?

Our Ask Billy letter comes from Frankie in Chicago:  “I can’t believe you haven’t talked about those new photos of Pietro Boselli.  They may be his hottest ones ever.”

If you’re referring to the cover of King Kong Garçon, why would I talk about it here?  On the other hand, you’d expect me to talk about a hot guy with a huge conch.  Oh, yes, I said “conch”.  The world’s hottest math teacher was photographed as Poseidon covering his cock with a conch.  And, yes, that is the first time in 25 years I’ve gotten to say that…at least in print!  To show I’m not shellfish (HA!), check out the pics on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m plunging into marine biology for a mathematician, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Since our Ed Asner show has been embargoed (as all newsworthy events are), I can only share one little tidbit.  When I asked what inspires him; what keeps him going.  He surprised me by saying he had not been looking forward to being interviewed by yours truly.  Since this exchange occurred towards the end of two hours, I suspected there was a “but” coming.  And it’s a doozy.  You can catch a glimpse of it on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is known to give you more than a glimpse of things (even conches).  For your other needs, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before El Presidente concedes.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Last week, Billy Masters LIVE featured two lengthy interviews with the great Ed Asner!  He was outspoken about politics, his past, his career, and some of his co-stars.  In a few short days, those shows have become our most popular.  Check them out at Billy Masters TV on YouTube, or at to BillyMasters.com/TV.

FYI, I had already announced I was taking Thanksgiving Week off.  But, due to circumstances beyond my control (and you know how I hate that), I’m going to be indisposed for this week as well.  Fear not – we’ll be back right with a special series of shows for December.  Stay tuned.

To recap – Biden won.  But not by a landslide.  Someone please remind me in four years to market myself as a pollster – a job which apparently requires no credentials and has no accountability or expectation of accuracy.  What is still unknown is whether there will be a peaceful transition of power – but never have the words “don’t count on it” been more apt.  As with everything else in this unprecedented year, “unpresidential” is expected.  I was surprised that FOX News called states for Biden before any other network.  Laura Ingraham implying that a Supreme Court ruling could wreak havoc was less surprising.  This idea was also floated by Harmeet Dhillon – who is said to be a legal adviser to El Presidente’s campaign, although I’ve never heard that name before.  “We’re waiting for the United States Supreme Court – of which the president has nominated three justices – to step in and do something.”  Likewise, I’m waiting – just try it.

Meanwhile, Anderson Cooper is kicking himself.  During a live broadcast, he said the following: “This is the President of the United States.  That is the most powerful person in the world, and we see him like an obese turtle on his back, flailing in the hot sun, realizing his time is over.  But he just hasn’t accepted it, and he wants to take everybody down with him…including this country.”  It wasn’t the first time the newsman had let his less-than-impartial views bubble to the surface.  Back in May, he called Trump “a little man, despite his girth and size.”  Cooper later said, “I regret using those words, ‘cause that’s not the person I really want to be.”  And I really want to be mistaken for a fitness model.  But you is what you is.

As all eyes are on Biden, I’m hopeful and cautiously optimistic.  He told the Philadelphia Gay News, “I will make enactment of the Equality Act a top legislative priority during my first 100 days.”  While that sounds peachy, I’m OK with putting that on hold and getting some stimulus and unemployment money out to people who need it.

“My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over. 
Our Constitution works; our great Republic is a government of laws
and not of men.  Here, the people rule.”  
– Gerald Ford during his Inaugural remarks.  Who would have thought Gerald Ford would
once again be relevant…or that we’d be looking back at him so wistfully?

I know you’re all excited.  But, please – STOP CELEBRATING.  I know only a small percentage of my readers remember 1918 – and God bless each and every one of you.  For everyone else, let me share a little story.  Back then, we had something called the Spanish Flu…presumably we’d now call it the Latinx Flu.  September 28, 1918 – Philadelphia.  The City of Brotherly Love throws a parade to promote war bonds.  As it happens, many people were undiagnosed with this flu.  And so it begins.  November 11, 1918 – San Francisco.  After several weeks of vigilant lockdown and mask-wearing due to high infection rates back east, the City by the Bay gets cocky.  They decide to throw a giant parade to celebrate Armistice Day.  Precautions are eschewed.  The flu ends up infecting 500 million people and killing between 20-50 million.  So, keep your mask on, drink at home, and wait to celebrate.

Way back in 2012, Reed in Chicago sent in an Ask Billy question about Olympic gymnast Danell Leyva.  At the time, some nude photos circulated which were allegedly texted to a girl he was trying to hook up with.  Fast forward eight years and Danell has come out…on National Coming Out Day: “For a long time I’ve known that I wasn’t straight.  But because of some very personal reasons, I always rejected that side of me.  Earlier this year I finally understood that I’m bi/pan (still trying to figure that one out).”  He adds, “I also realized that, as of now at least, I’m not attracted to cis men.”  That’s OK – baby steps, Danell.  And, yes, before you ask, I’ll post the photos again on BillyMasters.com.

In lieu of a new Ask Billy question, I want to take a moment to remember my friend Nikki McKibbin.  You knew her as the scrappy contestant on season one of American Idol who came in third.  We did several gay pride festivals together, and she was a hoot.  She was a gal just waiting for a break.  She got a few, but they never quite panned out the way she hoped.  After a pretty hard life battling various addictions, she had an aneurysm last week and was brain-dead immediately.  In accordance with her wishes, she was kept alive on machines for three days to arrange distribution of her organs.  Till the end, she was a very special, giving person.  Rest in peace, Nikk!

It is with a heavy heart that I report Orlando’s Parliament House is closing.  The famed hotel, resort, nightclub and theatre complex has been a hotspot of gay activity for over 45 years and has hosted performances by many luminaries, such as Cyndi Lauper, Sandra Bernhard, Taylor Dayne, Deborah Cox, Wilson Phillips, and even yours truly – my play, Hollywood Uncovered, debuted there way back in 2002!  After years of maneuvering a tenuous financial situation, the mortgage holder is taking possession of the property on November 3^rd.  The owners retain the rights to the name and hope to open elsewhere in the future.  Best of luck!

People are fleeing Ellen DeGeneres’ social media platforms en masse.  She lost over half a million followers on Twitter and an equal number on Instagram.  If those people are looking for someone new, might I suggest Billy Masters TV?   The recent show with Lainie Kazan and Michele Lee in their first joint interview has gone viral and quickly became our most popular episode (beating out both Fran Drescher and Anita Pointer).  Who would have thought Lainie and Mishy would become the queens of Billy Masters TV – I thought that was moi!  Do me a favor and go to Billy Masters TV on YouTube and click “Subscribe”.  It costs you nothing and really helps us out.

Last week’s shows with Christopher Sieber and Gilles Marini were great fun.  This Tuesday, I’ll host an Election Day special where I’ll share gossip, chat with fans, and show some of my favorite moments from the last few months.  On Thursday, we focus on the Emerging Artists Theatre, which is hosting a benefit reading of Brian Belovitch’s play Boys Don’t Wear Lipstick.  We’ll chat with Belovitch, director Everett Quinton, and two of the stars who happen to be pals – Jonny Beauchamp and Tony winner Lena Hall.  See all the shows on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.  Billy Masters LIVE – where the stars play by day.

If Biden takes Wisconsin, most of the credit has to go to WisDems.  The group flooded the Internet with special shows, reunions, and other celebrity-laden fundraising events.  They pulled out the stops on Halloween with The Rocky Horror Show.  An all-star cast was assembled but they were eclipsed by some of the classic film’s stars.  Barry Bostwick intoned Brad’s songs.  Little Nell worked overtime playing both Columbia and, for much of the show, Frank-N-Furter.  Yes, Tim Curry was there, but one must remember that he suffered a stroke in 2012.  Nonetheless, he valiantly attempted to revisit the role that catapulted him to fame with enormous difficulty.  There were moments – brilliant moments, in fact.  But for the bulk of the time…how can I describe it?  Picture seeing Chicago on Broadway starring Stephen Hawking.  Not much of a dancer – but I bet the ventriloquist number would kill!

Seth Green (Riff Raff), Rosario Dawson (Magenta), and David Arquette (Eddie) and Peppermint (singing Frank-N-Furter) gave standout performances.  There were also terrific cameos during the floor show from Hairspray alums Marissa Jaret Winokur and a sexy, corset-wearing Garrett Clayton.  Jason Alexander was a great narrator, but Frankie Grande was a curious Dr. Scott, oozing all of the raw masculinity of a young Tina Louise.  Lance Bass rocked out as Rocky…complete with golden Speedo.  If you missed this one-time-only event, some notable moments can be found on BillyMasters.com.

Since we’re on the subject of male nudity, let’s move along to our Ask Billy letter from Roger in Anaheim: “This has to be the hottest group of guys ever to be on The Bachelorette.  You must have nude photos of some of them.”

I must agree with Roger – this is a particularly hunky group of guys.  And they’re certainly showing lots of skin – especially during that game of strip dodgeball.  Since the season is young, I can’t say I have photos of “some of them”.  But I do have nude photos of one of them.  The show hasn’t focused much on Kenny Braasch, but I have.  I noticed that chiseled face and ripped body.  Although he’s billed as a “Boyband Manager”, Kenny is also a former basketball and baseball player…so he’s clearly versatile.  And he wears a size 13 shoe and has parts of his anatomy that would make a horse jealous.  And don’t even get me started on his flexibility – or how he handles balls…or his cock.  While I’m not completely sure about any man who sports what I would charitably call a Brazilian, I’m still interested enough to show you a plethora of photos on BillyMasters.com.

When Posey’s taking one for our team, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  So Jeffrey Toobin just gets a slap on the wrist.  What if it had been Wolf Blitzer?  Would everyone have been as understanding?  While you ponder that, pound on your keyboard and check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s safe for work…if you work in a cave!  For your more discreet needs, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Kenny says “Bye, Bye, Bye”!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

We just wrapped a memorable week on Billy Masters LIVE.  We kicked it off with our political commentator, Sue O’Connell, and legal eagle, Gloria Allred.  When I asked her what she thought about the Jeffrey Toobin Zoom situation, Gloria snapped, “Hands up!  Keep ‘em up there!”  I quickly complied, and she did the same.  Yes, these are the things you’ll find on my eponymous show.  Where else could you go from Gloria Allred to Randy Roberts?  The illusionist extraordinaire joined us from Key West to talk about live shows resuming at La Te Da – behind Plexiglas!  It almost sounds as if he’s doing a show at the Olive Garden salad bar!  Definitely check it out.

And then…the show that’s been six months in the making.  Strike that – 47 years in the making.  For the first time ever, Lainie Kazan and Michele Lee sat down and talked about the Broadway debacle that was Seesaw.  The legendary ladies had been friends for years, co-starred in the musical Bravo Giovanni, and even lived in the same building.  Seesaw changed all of that.  Lainie Kazan was fired, Michele Lee was hired.  Lee would rehearse by day, Lainie would perform by night.  And they didn’t speak for almost 15 years.  Their recounting of that time was emotional, but also cathartic.  They bared their souls in a way that was so intimate – sometimes I left them alone on-screen because I felt as if I were intruding.  Of course, I came back for us to share loads of laughs, music, and risqué footage.  It will all live in infamy on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.

How do you follow that up?  With Hot Guy Week.  On Tuesday, Christopher Sieber will join us, and on Thursday, I’ll show off my foreign tongue with Gilles Marini!  Billy Masters LIVE – where the stars play by day.