Speaking of strange bedfellows, let’s talk about Barry Diller.  So, he’s gay.  Anyone surprised?  Hands?  We’ll even tie it in to our previous item – Barry was the head of FOX, the network that launched with Joan Rivers’ own late-night talk show.  Barry was the man who hired her.  He’s also the man who cancelled the show.  He was also the man Joan blamed for her husband’s suicide.  He also eventually became her boss again at QVC – with a far happier ending.  And I’m sure Diller likes a happy ending!  I have my own Barry story. It was at a Commitment to Life AIDS benefit at the Universal Amphitheatre.  From the stage, Barry mentioned something positive about Albania.  A phalanx of photographers surrounded him as he was walking past me.  “I’m Albanian,” I blurted out.  And he stopped in his tracks.  We talked briefly.  I don’t recall many details, but I recall him being quite charming.

Where was I?  Oh yes, Diller wrote a book.  Who Knew – no question mark needed.  We’ve not read the book, only excerpts.  Barry reveals he was cavorting with other boys since he was a teenager in West Hollywood.  As his status rose, he came up with his own “personal bill of rights”.  He planned to live in silence, but not pretend.  He’d never try to convince people he was heterosexual, but would skirt personal questions.  He would not delude anyone.  Lastly, “I would never bring a man as a date to a heterosexual event – but I’d never bring a woman as a ‘beard,’ either.”  He continues, “While there have been a good many men in my life, there has only ever been one woman.”

That brings us to Miss von Fürstenberg.  Barry calls theirs a “love story”.  He is adamant that he truly loves her.  “There are many complex aspects of my relationship with Diane von Fürstenberg – romantic love and deep respect, companionship and world adventuring, then disappointment and separation, and finally marriage.”  He admits it’s confusing.  “I’m well aware that this part of my life has caused confusion and lots of speculation.  A relationship that began with indifference, then exploded into a romance as natural to us as breathing, surprised us and everyone else.”  Regarding his male relationships, Diane says, “It’s something I’ve never discussed with him.  Because what is between him and me is so much more.  It’s so much deeper.”  She adds, “But, you know, I’m an odd cookie!”

How can I top that?  With this week’s Ask Billy question.  Kevin in San Diego writes, “I hear Jude Law shows all in Eden.  True??”

True.  And, to tie this in with the rest of the column, Jude has twice played the Pope – in The Young Pope (a series for HBO) and The New Pope (where he played the same character…in a coma).  As to Eden, it’s a film from Ron Howard coming out in August.  Since I have my ways, I can assure you that Jude looks as scrumptious as ever – and I don’t even mind his “enhancements”.  He walks around shirtless a lot, showing off his impressive physique.  And then, yes, he does indeed show all.  I know you’ll want to see it, and what kinda host would I be to make you wait until August?  Just head on over to BillyMasters.com.

When we’re showcasing a nude Pope, it’s time to end yet another column.  Now I’m hungry for a cookie!  While I wait around to burn in hell, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t break a single commandment.  Except that one about coveting a neighbor…or an ass…or a neighbor’s ass!  If you have a non-liturgical question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and and I promise to get back to you before I’m cast as Mary Magdalene (it could happen)!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Lil Nas X, certainly both a fashion plate and a black dandy, did not attend.  Of course, if you read this column, you know he’s suffering from something in the Bell’s Palsy family.  Apparently his medical condition is not getting any better.  He announced that he will drop out of the Outloud Music Festival in Los Angeles (part of WeHo Pride).  “After my recent hospital visit, I – like all of you should – must prioritize my health and getting back to 100%.  As it currently stands, I would not be able [to] perform that type of show my fans and community deserve.  I am sorry!  Even though I can’t be there, I hope you all show OUT for Pride.  Now more than ever, we need to be seen.”

Didya know Sandra Bernhard had open heart surgery?  She claims it was not nearly as critical as it sounds.  “It was a planned surgery.  It wasn’t that dramatic.”  Sounds a little dramatic.  While lying on the gurney, she looked up and said, “I know we’re just minutes away from being wheeled into the operating room, but I’m an actress.  I’m a performer.  Do I need to bring in a plastic surgeon?”  They told her, “We’ll make it work; we’ll make it beautiful.”  And so it was, as she showed off during her opening night at The Café Carlyle.  The Café Carlyle?  Who is she?  Bobby Short?  Marilyn Maye?  Anyway, the show was reportedly a smash.

Watch how I combine Catholicism, the church, and queer singers.  Every year, the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra presents a big, splashy musical in a semi-staged performance.  This year, they are doing Jesus Christ Superstar.  In the plumb role of Jesus Christ we have…Cynthia Erivo?  Well, after appearing in greenface, why not?  Still, I don’t recall the Biblical passage about Jesus having a nose ring.  Her Judas will be Adam Lambert!  In a way, I find it all inspired casting.  These shows typically sell out, so if you want tickets, you better go to HollywoodBowl.com.

The entertainment business makes strange bedfellows.  Picture it – an all-star tribute to Joan Rivers taking place at the legendary Apollo Theatre in Harlem being shown on NBC.  Forget what’s wrong with this picture – what’s right about it?  When Missy was asked how the lineup was chosen, she said, “First of all, we took anyone who said yes.”  Finally, a refreshing moment of candor (an ebb).  Joan Rivers – A Dead Funny All-Star Tribute will air on May 13^th on NBC – the network that blackballed her.

You know who should have gone to confession once or twice?  Anna Wintour.  If someone had guided her to forgive André Leon Talley, she wouldn’t have had to mount an entire Met Gala just to make amends with the late (and certainly great) fashionista!  But there we were, celebrating the ultimate Black Dandy.  For me, the Met Gala is rarely a fashion show and more a freak show.  I find most of the outfits either ridiculous or ludicrous.  I will admit that Whoopi looked quite fetching in her Thom Browne ensemble.  But is there any reason she couldn’t smile?  Even a little?  I’ve seen happier people in hostage videos.  Then there’s that singer Lisa, who you’ll remember from the recent Oscars.  If you looked closely (and you’re forgiven if you didn’t), you’d have noticed the crotchal area of her Louis Vuitton ensemble seemed to be embroidered with the image of Rosa Parks!  Turns out, Lisa had the likeness of several notable people included in the fabric.  And who doesn’t want a little inspiration when looking down at their crotch?  Especially of someone who is most notable for taking a seat…up front!

Then there was that buck-tooth actress from White Lotus whose name escapes me – who attended the gala with Patrick Schwarzenegger.  On the red carpet, she was questioned about her alleged feud with co-star Walton Goggins (who was only feet away from her).  She said she adores him.  Enough to show up when he hosts Saturday Night Live?  She said she expects him to hit it out of the park, but has no plans to be there.  FYI, she didn’t show up and wasn’t even mentioned.

Schwarzy is campaigning to star in Luca Guadagnino’s remake of American Psycho – a role I presume will go to someone with a higher profile (not that Christian Bale was that big when he made the original in 2000).  Still, good for Paddy for taking his shot…even if it was from the red carpet of the Met Gala while holding a red clutch!

You know I hate to complain.  But what the hell kinda conclave was that?  My God, the movie was longer (or maybe it just seemed longer).  Anyway, we have a new Pope – Leo XIV.  Didya know the new pope watched the film Conclave before going into the actual conclave?  At least that’s what his brother told the press.  Just what the Vatican needs, the papal equivalent of Roger Clinton!  I have friends who aren’t happy that this pope is somewhat conservative regarding gays and women in the church.  People, grow up.  This is the Catholic Church!  It’s like saying McDonald’s should hire more vegetarians!  Speaking of food, here’s a fun fact – apparently it’s against the rules to serve ravioli during a conclave?  In the past, people would send secret messages inside the certain food.  That’s why tubular pastas and roast chickens are also against the rules.  At least now I know why so many priests have turned to me in a confessional and said, “Is that cannelloni in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”

Our Ask Billy question comes from Mark in Texas: “Who is this singer Olly Murs?  All I know about him is these hot before and after photos that keep popping up online.”

Olly Murs got his big break as the runner-up on The X Factor (UK) back in 2009.  We met once at Sharon Osbourne’s house.  We laughed, we drank, we splashed in the hot tub.  He got me quite wet – and that was before he buffed up!  He’s a charming fellow.  So’s Sharon, for that matter!  Back to Olly.  He was always in decent shape.  He looked good in clothes – you know, like Darren Criss.  Also like Darren, Olly decided he’d like to look good out of clothes.  For his New Year’s Resolution, he whipped himself into shape by doing what was called a “12-week gym transformation”.  Of course, it also included a drastic diet.  And that’s how the photos went public – Olly’s nutritionist is the one who shared the photos.  Then someone else took the before and after pics and started a poll asking if you preferred the before or after Olly.  The results were quite staggering.  While the vast majority of men preferred the “after” photo, the women by and large chose…well, the larger photo.  Personally, I was happy with his progress by Week Four.  You can check out Murs’ incredible transformation on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m trying to find a trainer and nutritionist with a “first month free” special, it’s time to end yet another column.  I just remembered that back when I met Olly, he said he considered himself about 20% gay.  I guess I was just lucky to meet him on the right day!  Of course, my fans know that our new column goes live every Mondays on www.BillyMasters.com – the site the site delivers 24/7.  If you have a question, a comment, a prescription for Mounjaro, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I help Olly find that missing 80%!  So, until next time, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

John Reid is running for Lieutenant Governor of Virginia.  He’s a Republican, a former conservative radio host, and openly gay.  Allies of Glenn Youngkin, the Republican governor of Virginia, have been trying to pressure Reid to drop out of the race.  Reid revealed, “Representatives of my campaign have been told by the leader of Governor Youngkin’s political organization that the attacks on me will continue unless I drop out of the race for lieutenant governor.”  Reid refused, adding, “This is extortion, and it is illegal in Virginia.”  Suddenly, photos of Reid at a drag show surfaced.  “Drag is not for kids but really, who cares what adults watch or what they do in an of-age restaurant or bar or club?” responded Reid.  Then Youngkin personally called Reid asking him to bow out.  “What I didn’t expect was the governor I have always supported call and demand my resignation without even showing me the supposed evidence or offering me a chance to respond.  I do no accept that and deeply resent it.”

He then made a lengthy statement, which included the following: “I’ve been openly gay for 30+ years.  I’ve not broken the law.  I’ve told the truth about who I am for years, and I’ll do it again now.  I was on-again/off-again single and dating for many years before I met my partner over 8 years ago.  Am I expected to answer every twisted, intrusive question about my previous relationships?  Every person I ever had sex with?  Every dating app I was ever on?  Must I share my gay Tinder profile?  Every profile picture on the internet?  The 78,000 photos on Facebook?  Every late-night text?  Is anyone at the Richmond State Capitol or in DC planning on doing the same?  It’s not my place to judge others, so I won’t.  But I haven’t publicly performed or publicly posted anything pornographic.  Have I seen porn?  Yes.  Have I had one-night stands?  Yes.  Are my exes all still in love with me?  No.  What more can I possibly tell you, and why am I the candidate who has to answer questions on this topic?  Let’s be honest: It’s because I’m openly gay and I have never bowed down to the establishment, and I will not.”

In a related pronoun story, Robert De Niro has a child who has come out as trans.  “I loved and supported Aaron as my son, and now I love and support Airyn as my daughter.  I don’t know what the big deal is.  I love all my children,” says Bobby.  Not much more to add to that.  It could have also made a good opening quote.  Far more interesting is the fact that Airyn’s mom is Toukie Smith.  Remember Toukie?  The sometime actress/model and sister of designer Willi Smith?  Oh, it was a simpler time when Toukie hit the scene.  Back then, the NYC tabloids were all a-twitter that De Niro had the “jungle fever”.  Now nobody would probably blink an eye.

You know where Toukie might be right at home?  On Wisteria Lane.  This new series (with no involvement by creator Marc Cherry) is being developed by Kerry Washington.  But don’t call it a remake or a spinoff.  Kerry says it’s “inspired by” Desperate Housewives.  “The idea is that it’s new times, there’s new challenges.  It’s like – what happens on that cul-de-sac now?”  And it will be the same cul-de-sac, since those houses still exist on the Universal backlot.  Allegedly, the plan is not to use any of the original characters.  Where’d they all go?  Maybe Covid ran rampant and killed everyone off.  I suppose time will tell.  But, should anyone be interested, Eva Longoria has made it clear that she “would be the first person to sign up” for a Desperate Housewives reboot.

Speaking of television shows, CBS has announced that they are cancelling the Queen Latifah-helmed Equalizer after 5 seasons.  Well, I’m shocked.  Shocked, I tell you.  Shocked that it was still on the air and lasted five years!

“Life is precious.  I don’t know how much longer my father has.”
– Prince Harry tells a reporter why he’d like to reconcile with King Charles – and that
“there is no point in continuing to fight”.  And he wonders why nobody in his family talks to him.

I’m typically up for a three-way.  But this week, there was a three-way tie for what would end up as our opening quote.  Would it be Prince Harry’s typical dimness?  Or Donald Trump saying, “I picked you because, frankly, I never heard of you,” to Terry Moran?  Or perhaps acclaimed filmmaker Pedro Almodóvar saying of El Presidente, “You will go down in history as the greatest mistake of our time…you will go down in history as one of the greatest dangers to humanity since the beginning of the century.  You will go down in history as a catastrophe.”  While Prince Harry won, Pedro was close.  However, the century is only 25 years old.  It’s like saying the greatest catastrophe of the final 25 years of the last century was the AMC Pacer!

Before we get to other political news, I think we have to talk about the biggest story of the past week – the Tony nominations!  Let’s look at the race for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Musical.  I like the good old days when we could just say Best Actress in a Musical.  Anyway, those delightful divas from Death Becomes Her will cancel each other out.  And, God bless that BOOP! girl for making the cut.  But this race is all about Mama Rose and Norma Desmond.  Frankly, someone should simply ask Patti LuPone to choose – after all, she played both parts (she can play any role).  You have relative newbie Nicole Scherzinger, who seemed a shoe-in before Gypsy opened (and before she commented on Russell Brand’s Jesus hat).  But you also have Audra McDonald, who is now the most Tony-nominated actor in history, and who has won an award in all four female acting categories.  Who will win?  If I were a betting man, I’d put money on Audra.

Of course, if you put money on Kieran Culkin being nominated, you’d be licking your wounds.  Not that he would have had a prayer of winning once it was determined that Cole Escola qualified as Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Play.  The reason this was even in question is that Cole is playing a female role – Mary Todd Lincoln.  And in real life, Cole uses the “they” pronoun.  So do they really want to win an award branded for men?  Perhaps.  Last week, Escola told Stephen Colbert, “I really want to play a straight guy.”  My response was the Danny Thomas spit-take, and a trip to Best Buy to replace a shorted-out TV.   But good for him…er, them.

Two notable “hes” were also shut out of nominations.  Despite having the highest-priced tickets in Broadway history, both Denzel Washington and Jake Gyllenhaal in Othello were snubbed by the Tony Committee.  While some people are saying they were hurt by all the hoopla (a word I like to work into at least one column a year), others point to reviewers who were simply underwhelmed.

Last week, I was delighted to return to Billy Masters LIVE! and bring back our most popular guest – Bruce Vilanch.  We primarily focused on It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time – his book about writing for some less-than-stellar works of stage, screen, and television.  We spoke primarily of The Star Wars Holiday Special, The Paul Lynde Halloween Special, The Brady Bunch Hour, and Can’t Stop the Music – because you know how much I enjoy an Altovise Davis story.  We also touched on Carol Channing, Charo, and his aborted effort for Bravo.  The book is loads of fun – as is our chat, which you can watch on BillyMasters.tv or on our YouTube channel.

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Harry in Dallas: “What is up with Shannon Sharpe?  He was willing to pay someone $10 million to settle rape allegations?  Is this the same person he was fucking in that video?”

This is SO not my métier, but I’m been assured that these are two separate stories (perhaps even more).  Regarding the video which we posted weeks ago, Sharpe left an Instagram Live running while he had a tryst with an unknown woman in a hotel room.  While we see precious little, what we hear sounds consensual – and somewhat energetic.  The legal problems stem from the former pro-football player being accused of assaulting a woman back in 2023.  He claims the allegations are false and that it’s all a “shakedown” – which seemed plausible until we heard he offered the gal $10 million to go away.  She refused the offer.  Anyone turning down $10 million is looking for something more than money.  Needless to say, Sharpe had to step away from his ESPN duties until this resolves.

When Jinkx could star in a reboot of Murder, She Wrote, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I know you’re all wondering when I will do the next Billy Masters LIVE!.  I have a few ideas in the works.  I suppose the best way to keep tabs on me is to check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that still enjoys a bit of rum!  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before JD Vance kills again!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

A different type of show happened at the Broadway production of Sunset Blvd.  A matinee had to be cancelled due to some technical difficulty with the sound system.  What made this a column-worthy item is that the audience was informed of the snafu by Norma Desmond herself.  Nicole Scherzinger told them they could go to the box office and get tickets to an alternate performance or could get a refund.  But before they left, she wanted to give them something for their trouble.  Brandishing a bullhorn and playing a backing track through her cell phone, Scherzy belted out “With One Look” – to considerable applause.  You can see her impromptu performance on BillyMasters.com.

Elsewhere on Broadway, Pirates!  The Penzance Musical opened at the Roundabout Theatre.  While any chance to see Ramin Karimloo unbuckle his swash is OK in my book, we send kudos (whatever they are) to the fantastic Jinkx Monsoon, who is assuming the role of Ruth, played by Angela Lansbury in the Kevin Kline film.  Jinkx is getting rave reviews for her comic turn.  There is even talk that she could snag a Tony nomination.  Stay tuned.

When the Tonys are distributed on June 8^th, someone very special will be getting a very special award.  It’s just been announced that the recipient of the 2025 Lifetime Achievement Tony Award will be…. Harvey Fierstein!  “Harvey Fierstein’s contributions to the American theatre, both as an artist and activist, represent an extraordinary legacy,” said the committee about the four-time Tony winner (in competition, Miss Streisand).

And, now, a public service announcement – one I feel compelled to make before it leads to an inevitable tragedy.  I believe the time has come for someone to put seat belts on any chair Liza Minnelli sits in.  There she was, chatting with RuPaul, being honored for basically remaining conscious for so long.  She’s moving, and spinning, and shaking, and twitching.  At one point, her head is on her lap and one of her legs is in the air – a position I’m not unfamiliar with!  What was going on?  It was like she was auditioning for Mummenschanz!  At a certain point, I needed a Dramamine.  I’m all for live and let live – but please, Liza, live and stay safe.

Friends were sure I heard about Ugly Betty alum Eric Mabius’ scuffle with the law.  But, what can I say – he’s really not on my radar.  I feel I’m not alone in that department, so let me share the sordid details in case you don’t know and/or care.  I should start by saying it happened in Florida – where most sordid stories start.  The incident happened in Fernandina, Florida – which is just outside of Jacksonville (oh, this just keeps getting worse).  Eric was at a bar with a female companion, who was asked repeatedly to leave after other patrons complained about her rude behavior.  How rude?  At one point, she was spitting on people.  Ah, that Eric Mabius – he’s got an eye for the classy ladies.  When his companion spit on another woman, a tussle ensued.  That’s when Mabius sprung to action and somehow knocked both gals to the ground.  Here’s where it gets good, according to the police report of what happened to the alleged victim: “Eric got on top of her and was pulling her hair, ripping a handful of her hair from her scalp!”  OUCH!  Once police arrived, Mabius “became more belligerent” and attempted to leave the scene.  Police had him sit on a bench and arrested him for “resisting without violence”.  Well, they didn’t want him to pull their hair!!  This led to a doozy of a mugshot, in which he is wearing what I hope is an ensemble provided by the penal system.  I can just picture him explaining to his cellmates why he’s in the pokey.  “I pulled a girl’s hair!”

“I mean, he’s…look, the guy’s a pope killer, okay?”
– Bowen Yang tells the ladies of The View his opinion on JD Vance.  Joy Behar was quick
to smooth any ruffled feathers.  “He doesn’t mean it literally – he’s talking spiritually.”  Is he?

“Listen, my children, and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere.  On the eighteenth of April, in seventy-five; hardly a man is now alive who remembers that famous day and year.”  That’s how Henry Wadsworth Longfellow began his 1860 poem about Paul Revere’s ride.  Today, the only one still alive who remembers that famous ride is Dame Joan Collins!  This ride has always been celebrated in my native hamlet of Medford.  Fun fact – Revere never said “The British are coming”.  After all, everyone was British!  He said, “The Regulars are coming out.”  Even back then, coming out was big news!  In Medford, he alerted Captain Isaac Hall.  During my childhood, Hall’s home was the Gaffey Funeral Parlor.  Someone playing the good Captain would pop out of the second-floor window in a nightcap and ask what all the ruckus was about.  Then he’d invite Revere in for a cup of rum.  Oh, as kids we enjoyed this pageantry…and the rum!  Today, Hall’s house is the Islamic Cultural Center.  On this 250^th anniversary, Hall still popped out the window, put down his prayer rug, faced Mecca, and the tradition continued.

You heard it here first.  Sure, everyone saw the photos of Robert Irwin posing in his skivvies with a python.  But I believe I was the first to get a glimpse of something big.  Lo and behold, he’s been cast on Dancing with the Stars.  Am I the only one envisioning some version of “I’m a Slave 4U” with the snake?  Or, perhaps, whatever song La Toya was singing while a snake was wrapped around her nether regions?  Come to think of it, there may not have actually been a song.  And that video might not have been on MTV.  It might have been the Playboy Channel.

Rosie O’Donnell has expressed shock that Ellen DeGeneres (and Portia) also left the US.  “I’ve never really known Ellen to say anything political in her life, so I was surprised to read that she left because of President Trump.  Like, that shocked me, actually.”  Without getting into her issues with Ellen (and vice versa), Rosie wishes her well.  “I don’t want to fight against another gay woman.  It’s not like we’re tenaciously opposed to each other.  We’re just very different people.  We have had some stuff in the past that was never resolved.  And not in any way as, as partners or lovers or anything like that.  Just as friends and comedians.  But I wish her the best.  I seriously do.”

Speaking of our little chat show, I recently mused about making a comeback (well, it’s more of a return).  I’m delighted to tell you that we’ll soon be sitting down with raconteur Bruce Vilanch to discuss his latest oeuvre, It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time.  If you want to get in on the fun, head on over to BillyMasters.tv and join us live on Friday, April 25^th at 5PM ET.  Or you can watch the whole show after the fact on our YouTube channel.

Another return was inquired about in our Ask Billy question this week.  Mark in Los Angeles said, “I caught the end of House Hunters on HGTV last week, and I swear they were talking to Dan Renzi.  Was that him?”

It was indeed.  The lovely Dan Renzi returned (albeit briefly) to his reality show roots for the House Hunters cameras.  Since becoming a visiting nurse, he’s returned to his native Overland Park, Kansas and decided to buy his first home.  A longtime friend convinced him to allow cameras to document the process, and Renzi agreed – with trepidation.  Aside from HGTV calling the episode “Crazy Concepts in Kansas”, he was pleased with the results.  The episode is about a year old, but was recently repeated on the network.  You can check out the full episode on their website (season 252, episode 1), or check it out on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re watching Renzi in the real world, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Talk about your summer reruns!  Well, you know what they say about real estate – location, location, location.  And the best location on the web is www.BillyMasters.com – the site that has some of the best views around.  While you’re there, you can take a little time and enjoy the view on Billy Masters LIVE.  If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Gayle gets another ticket to ride, and she don’t care!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Nobody knows what will be the outcome of Wendy Williams’ latest bid to break her guardianship.  When her lawyer said in court that she was capable of resuming her career, Judge Lisa Sokoloff reportedly said, “It’s done.”  I find that a bit uncalled for – and slightly rude.  I can’t think of a single judge capable of predicting a showbiz career – from Judge Judy to Judge Ito!  I wouldn’t even accept it from Simon Cowell or Paula Abdul!  And, say what you will, the public is still interested in Williams.  We hear that a bidding war is ensuing with various networks and presenters lining up to get the first sit-down with Wendy.  Stay tuned.

With And Just Like That… about to commence its third season, our pal Mario Cantone has expressed his delight at not only returning to the show, but picking up where last season ended – in bed with hot new love interest, Sebastiano Pigazzi.  “When we were going into the second season, Michael Patrick King called me up and said, ‘Hey, just so you know, you’re gonna be getting a storyline, you’re gonna be getting a boyfriend.’”  How does Mario feel about this added bit of exposure?  “I want more nudity!  I like being sexualized at 65 years old.”  Sounds good to me.  And he looks fantastic, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

It seems like just yesterday Charles Busch and Julie Halston celebrated twenty years of working together with a big, splashy Broadway benefit, featuring a performance of Vampire Lesbians of Sodom.  But it wasn’t yesterday.  It was March of 2005.  Using my handy-dandy abacus, I’m able to calculate with a good amount of certainty that means we’re circling the fortieth anniversary.  So I wasn’t surprised when Busch posted the following: “I’m delighted to announce (and I can’t quite believe that I’m writing these words) that on Thursday July 24^th, we’ll be having a 40^th anniversary celebration of Vampire Lesbians of Sodom at 54 Below.  We’ll be doing two performances at 7 and 9:30 pm, which will include a reading of the play and then a talkback after both performances about the creation of that show, which was as outrageous as the show itself.  The original cast will be back as well as our director/producer and cast member, Ken Elliott.”  For tickets to this auspicious occasion, head on over to 54Below.org.  I hasten to add that both shows sold out in a matter of hours.  Perhaps more will be forthcoming.  Or perhaps we’ll do a special Billy Masters LIVE closer to the event.

There was a time when I never missed Celebrity Big Brother UK.  Oh, those glory days of Leslie Jordan carrying on, or Jackie Stallone requesting some good wine and harp music.  Those heady moments have been replaced by people like Jojo Siwa and Mickey Rourke – which I would call a hard pass.  Mickey was ejected after some erratic behavior, including using what was referred to as a “homophobic slur” towards Jojo.  He claimed that if he stayed in the house much longer, he’d turn Siwa straight – which I believe is the definition of “must-see TV”.  He later said, “I want to apologize.  I’ve got a habit of having a short fuse – and I don’t mean nothing by it.”  In Mickey’s absence, Jojo’s been spending time with Love Island UK alum, Chris Hughes.  The two are often seen flirting and giving each other massages.  If someone is going to turn Siwa straight, it might be Hughes.  I still wouldn’t care.

Lil Nas X is facing a heath crisis that left him hospitalized – he’s lost complete control of the right side of his face.  He posted a video saying, “When I smile, this is me doing a full smile right now by the way…it’s like, what the fuck?  I can’t even laugh right now, bro.  What the fuck.  Oh my God.  Oh my God, bro.”  To me, it looks like he may be suffering from Bell’s Palsy – which can cause temporary facial paralysis.  I seem to recall Justin Bieber having a similar condition a few years ago from which he fully recovered.

Some situations don’t resolve quite so easily.  Last week, Nick Carter was accused of sexually assaulting a woman and giving her an STD.  This might not be completely unexpected – after all, at least four other women have made similar claims over the past decade.  What is intriguing is that this latest incident allegedly happened in 2004 – which is just over twenty years ago.  The woman in question claims they were having a consensual sexual relationship – except for one night when she went over to his house to say she didn’t want to have sex (one of those things that makes me go “Hmmmm….”).  She says he forced himself on her and they had unprotected intercourse, which led to her getting chlamydia, gonorrhea and eventually cervical cancer in 2005.  Why are we hearing about this now?  That’s a good question, especially since the woman is question is seeking a jury trial and damages in excess of $15K – the key phrase being “in excess of”.  For his part, representatives say, “Nick does not recall ever even meeting [this woman].  He certainly never had any romantic or sexual relationship with her.  Ever.”

“I learned about poppers…that was pretty new.”
– Jean Smart, when asked “What’s the most impactful lesson, phrase or insight
you’ve gained from the queer community?”  I think our work here is done.

I’m not saying I wish anyone ill.  But am I the only person who was let down by the drama-free jaunt into innerspace by Gayle King, Lauren Sanchez, Katy Perry, et al?  I mean, it was completely uneventful – until Gayle started talking.  “Please don’t call it a ‘ride’.  We duplicated the same trajectory that Alan Shepard did back in the day, pretty much…There was nothing frivolous about what we did.”  Time for a reality check – Alan Shepard trained for years and even underwent surgery before his mission.  Gayle bought a ticket (or someone paid).  Yes, I’d say Shepard hitting the golf ball on the moon was a little bit “frivolous” – but he did so without hair and makeup!

Someone who looks damn good in hair and makeup is Laverne Cox.  Alas, the phrase, “all gussied up and nowhere to go” seems to apply to the suddenly unemployed Cox.  Norman Lear’s final sitcom, Clean Slate, was just cancelled after its eight-episode first season.  The show, co-starring George Wallace, was initially conceived as an updated classic to be called Sanford & Daughter.  The concept was tweaked and resulted in a fun, perhaps slightly heavy-handed, original sitcom of an estranged son returning home…as a daughter!  One must commend Lear, who fully committed to learning as much as he could about the trans community.  He delved so deeply into Cox’s journey, she eventually snapped, “That information is between me and my doctor and my boyfriend.”  He thought that was a priceless response, and put it into the script verbatim.  Rest in peace, Norman and Clean Slate.

Last week, our dear Sheryl Lee Ralph got her long-awaited star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  Sheryl credited the LA Fire Department for accommodating the overwhelming number of fans and friends who attended the ceremony.  Her Dreamgirls co-star, Loretta Devine, shared some anecdotes from their early days, while Quinta Brunson spoke about the Ralph of Abbott Elementary.  And, of course, Jenifer Lewis was on hand to ensure Sheryl showed enough leg when lying on the sidewalk next to her star.  Congrats, Diva!

Finally, some good news for those poor, misunderstood Menendez brothers.  As you’ll recall, the former Los Angeles district attorney felt it was fair to allow the boys to have a resentencing hearing based on new evidence – which is typical protocol.  Then the new DA decided he wasn’t so inclined.  While the wheels of justice inched along, Governor Gavin Newsom ordered the boys appear before the parole board for an evaluation on June 13^th.  After receiving their recommendation, Newsom could direct the resentencing hearing take place, or even give them a full pardon.  That all may be a moot point.  Last week, LA County Superior Court Judge Michael Jesic weighed in on the original resentencing request.  While the current DA strenuously objected, Judge Jesic determined the right thing to do is to go forward with the resentencing hearing – which will take place on April 17^th in Van Nuys.

I was surprised to see that Cooper Koch was present in the courtroom at last week’s hearing.  He, of course, portrayed Lyle Menendez in Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story.  I’m told he was invited by members of the Menendez family, who he has gotten close to.  He’s also close with his own family.  Cooper has two brothers – gay twin Payton and younger brother Walker.  Walker recently posted a photo of his twin brothers about to kiss in a mockup of the White Lotus poster – just in time for the series finale.  While he quickly deleted the pic, you can check it out on BillyMasters.com. 

When the Koch boys are keeping it all in the family, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I’ve heard of brotherly love, but this is ridiculous…although I’d definitely want to see video footage!  By the time you read this, Gayle King will be in space.  Not outer space – just inner space.  In fact, her whole journey will take a scant eleven minutes.  Frankly, I can make you see stars a whole lot quicker (and cheaper) on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that has its share of heavenly bodies.  None of my Ask Billy questions seemed to warrant publishing.  But that shouldn’t stop you from writing.  Send your notes to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Belinda remembers to hydrate!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

While we’re Palm Springs-adjacent, let’s again talk about Mid-Century Modern – the gift that keeps on giving.  Much has been made about Coco Peru being cut out of the pilot.  We all talked about it…well, I talked about it.  One cannot ignore a legend in her own time being relegated to an extra!  Apparently, co-creator Max Mutchnick decided he had to address the situation on Instagram.  “Sometimes we’re forced to cut a character WE LOVE because of time constraints.  Editing Ms. Coco Peru from the MCM pilot was heartbreaking.  Somehow, you guys found out, and because Hulu is such a cool place to work they let us pull it out of the vault for YOU!  Ladies and gentlefemmes I give you Ms. Coco Peru on Mid-Century Modern.  (And a really good joke from Matt Bomer).”  I don’t know if I agree with all of that, but the clip is indeed fun and you can check it out on BillyMasters.com.

Speaking of television, Deborah Norville just announced that she will be leaving Inside Edition after anchoring the show for 30 years.  This brought two things to mind.  First, can you believe it was over 30 years ago that the whole Jane Pauley/Deborah Norville situation happened?  Second, who knew Inside Edition was still on the air?

One of the biggest fundraisers for the foundation each year is Elton John’s Academy Awards Party.  This past year, the lovely Belinda Carlisle and hubby Morgan Mason attended.  Belinda’s been spending more time in SoCal lately.  There are very few things that would make me miss The Go-Go’s return to the Sunset Strip.  But family issues kept me on the east coast while the girls revisited their roots at The Roxy.  The reason for this rare club date was a warmup for their appearance at Coachella last weekend and next month’s Cruel World festival.  From the looks of it, they’re having a great time.  Admittedly, they are only doing five shows – I think even the Eagles could get through that!  The Go-Go’s have always been enthusiastic musicians, but what surprised me most about these shows were the vocals.  With a more active performing schedule than usual, Belinda Carlisle’s voice is in great shape (adjusted keys notwithstanding).  But she’s not alone.  Jane Wiedlin, who has faced a variety of health issues, is exceptionally strong.  They were joined by Kathy Valentine and Charlotte Caffey on some glorious harmonies that one might almost call Bangle-esque (which I know Jane hates).  All the while, Gina Schock kept the beat – proving that after seven years away, she is still The Go-Go’s MVP.  These shows reminded us why the band has always soared above their contemporaries with a catalogue of hits rarely rivaled – let alone bettered.

As to the Coachella show, it was a bit more ragtag – likely due to the heat (which seemed to get to Belinda during “Our Lips Are Sealed”).  They were joined onstage by Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong for “Head Over Heels”.  While it was fun seeing Belinda relegated to a backup singer on a Go-Go’s hit, it’s strange that Billie Joe didn’t join them on the previous song – “Unforgiven” – which he co-wrote and recorded with them. There are always technical issues at these large festivals – and Carlisle is never one to just take them in her stride (see her appearance at LA Pride in 2012).  The projected videos (likely produced by Dan Rucks of Dan-O-Rama) certainly added to the kitsch factor and provided a perfect setting.  You can check out clips from both shows on BillyMasters.com.

“What in the faggotry are you talking about?”
– Gayle King quotes a Matteo Lane joke to his face.  While many people
have their panties in a bunch over Gayle’s use of the word “faggotry”,
Matteo gets the last word.  “I love you Gayle King”.

Détente.  That was the word Patti LuPone used when she reunited with Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber at the 2018 Grammys.  Maybe it’s something about New York City, because another notable détente just took place there – this one between Sir Elton John and Madonna.  First, a bit of history.  The twosome has traded barbs as far back as 2004, when Elton made an acceptance speech at the Q Awards and dogged Madge’s nomination.  “Madonna?  Best fucking live act?  Fuck off.  Since when has lip-syncing been live?”  And that was him being nice!!  An amusing exchange took place at the 2012 Golden Globes.  Each had a song nominated in the same category.  On the red carpet, Elton said Madonna didn’t “stand a fucking chance.”  And then she won!  Oh, the ignominy.

As to the resolution, it’s Madonna who took the high road.  When she heard Miss Elton was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live last week, she decided to go.  “I needed to go backstage and confront him.  When I met him, the first thing out of his mouth was, ‘Forgive Me’, and the wall between us fell down.  Forgiveness is a powerful tool.  Within minutes, we were hugging.  Then he told me had written a song for me and he wanted to collaborate.  It was like everything came full circle.”  She captured the moment with a photo and posted it on Instagram with the caption, “We finally buried the hatchet”.  She looks good and kinda normal – Elton looks less than thrilled.  But he reposted the photo and called it a “healing moment”.  To be continued…

Of course, it’s entirely possible that Elton had no idea who he was talking to backstage at SNL.  He recently spoke about his diminishing eyesight: “I can’t see my boys playing rugby and soccer, and it has been a very stressful time because I’m used to soaking it all in.  It’s distressing.  You get emotional, but you have to get used to it because I’m lucky to have the life I have.  I still have my wonderful family, and I can still see something out of my left eye.”  On the other hand, it should be noted that Madonna was standing on his left.

Last year, Elton John revealed some staggering statistics about the Elton John AIDS Foundation.  “Since our founding in 1992, we have saved over 5 million lives and raised more than $600 million to support over 3100 projects in 95 countries globally to end AIDS.”  One of those countries will no longer be Russia.  The Russian general prosecutor has called the nonprofit “undesirable” and accused it of attempting to undermine Russian “spiritual and moral values with propaganda.”  The organization was quick to respond: “In 2024, there were over 1.2 million people living with HIV in Russia, with over 430,000 not receiving treatment.  Today’s decision…will undoubtedly endanger lives and disrupt critical HIV prevention efforts.”

Filmmaker Werner Herzog made headlines last week with some advice for aspiring auteurs: “Go and get some real world experience, the more bizarre the better.”  Then he got more specific.  “Go out and work as a bouncer in a sex club.  Work as a warden in a lunatic asylum.  Go out to a cattle ranch and learn how to milk a cow.  Earn your money that way, in real life.”  This is not the first time I’ve heard someone compare a sex club to a milking ranch…but that’s another story.

I never really cared one way or the other about Steve Irwin – aside from the stingray incident, naturally.  I certainly had no use for Bindi.  Then last week I heard about Robert Irwin – who is also a child of the Crocodile Hunter.  I almost flipped past the story when I saw the headline mentioned underwear and a poisonous snake.  Well, that caught my eye!  Apparently Robert hosts the Australian edition of I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!.  While I’ll likely forget that credit, there is an image that is forever seared in my mind.  The sexy 21-year-old is only wearing some hip briefs while he’s grabbing his snake – and in this case, it’s a poisonous snake wrapped around his neck.  Apparently he’s now an underwear model – and I wholeheartedly approve.  You’ll be grabbing your snake (or your hole) when you see the photos on BillyMasters.com.

It seems we cannot go a week without talking about Mid-Century Modern – which is good news for the Hulu sitcom angling for a second season.  Our Ask Billy question comes from Isaac in Miami: “I can’t believe you haven’t talked about the hot housekeeper on MCM.  He must have done nudes.  Or gay porn.  Or something.”

Well, he’s definitely done “something” – and a whole lotta it.  In fact, we’ve previously talked about Adam Hagenbuch in this very column.  He first popped up in 2016, when he played a male stripper on one of my favorite failed sitcoms, Undateable.  At the time, he Tweeted, “Shooting episodes of #SwitchedatBirth and #Undateable this week.  Still not wearing a shirt in either.  Glad my theater degree is paying off.”  And here we are, almost a decade later, and he’s still peddling the same old wares – except this time, the wares were wearing a tank top.  He has a lot in common with his MCM co-star Matt Bomer.  They were both raised in Texas, both went to Carnegie Mellon, and are both pretty nifty dancers.  Unlike the lovely Bomer (who is a child of the ‘70s), Adam was born in the 1990s!  Also, Hagenbuch claims to be straight.  As to his body…well, he isn’t shy about showing that off.  But nudes?  Well, someone sent me nude photos that are allegedly Adam.  Are they?  You can decide for yourself…on BillyMasters.com. 

When we’ll show you what you can’t even see on Hulu, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  To see more of Mr. Hagenbuch, you should head on over to www.BillyMasters.com – the site that reveals it most definitely could have been Adam and Steve!  For anything else, all you have to do is ask.  Write to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Darren Criss reveals his true self in some fan fiction about Mitzi Gaynor.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

How drag diva Heklina left this world has been shrouded in mystery for the past two years.  There have been numerous rumors – bad drugs, bad hookers, bad tricks…just bad.  At the time, Heklina was performing in London with Peaches Christ.  They were in separate apartments – Peaches claims this was so that Heklina could indulge in drugs, alcohol, and sex with “heterosexual-identifying men”.  Christ was the one who discovered Heklina’s body – which has gotta mean something!  To this day, London’s Metropolitan Police will not confirm a cause of death.  Neither the official autopsy nor the toxicology reports have been released.  Last week, rallies took place on the anniversary of her death in London and San Francisco demanding answers.  And still we wait.

Some people are simply forgotten during the passage of time.  Others become even more beloved.  The City of Peekskill has commissioned a 25-foot bronze statue honoring Charlotte Rae.  While Rae holds a dear place in many people’s hearts, the city is honoring her role as Mrs. Garrett on The Facts of Life – which was set in Peekskill.  The statue will be called, You Take the Good, You Take the Bad and is scheduled to be unveiled next year.  Hopefully they’ve already booked Gloria Loring – who I suspect will never have anything erected on her behalf.

Last week, Kristin Chenoweth went to see her pal and Wicked co-star Idina Menzel in the Broadway musical Redwood.  After the show, Chenoweth (the former singer-actress) appeared onstage to gush about her pal’s performance.  And then, an auction took place to raise money for Broadway Cares.  Two fans paid $8K each for the chance to come up and meet the stars…but it wasn’t just a meeting.  They got to stand inches away from the twosome for a special performance of “For Good” from Wicked!  Idina admitted, “I’m going to forget the words…but maybe you can help me.”  And forget the words (and music) she did – but in such a real and authentic way that the audience ate it up.  Kristin helped her friend through the duet, which you can see on BillyMasters.com.

Last week, Russell Brand found himself facing multiple charges of rape and sexual assault.  These stem from incidents in the UK which allegedly happened between 1999 and 2005 (most were related in the 2023 UK television show Dispatches).  In response, Brand posted a video where he said, “I’ve never engaged in non-consensual activity.  I pray that you can see that by looking in my eyes.”  He then glared into the camera in a way not unlike Charles Manson.  Guilt or innocence aside, I’m troubled by the news coverage.  The press seems to be treating Brand much like Kevin Spacey – with the assumption that the charges are true and that he’s a sleezeball.  What really ticked me off was that virtually every news outlet has latched onto describing Brand the same way – as a “former actor-comedian”.  What the hell is that all about?  One is either a performer or one isn’t.  Nobody is calling Liza a “former actress-singer”.  The Hollywood Reporter managed a rare “twofer” – they called Brand a “former actor-comedian” in the sub-headline, and then a “disgraced comedian and actor” in the body of the piece.

I suppose one is a former performer if they formally retire (although I still wouldn’t use the term).  Take our own Johnny Mathis.  He just announced his imminent farewell.  With a career spanning seven decades, I’d never call him a “former singer”.  He’s bowing out gracefully due to “age and memory issues which have accelerated”.  I’m told by people that he’s still in great shape vocally.  But lyrics have been challenging as he approaches his 90^th birthday.  His last concert will take place on May 18^th at the Bergen Performing Arts Center in New Jersey.

The legendary Darlene Love (who will attend Johnny Mathis’ farewell) has called for an intervention for another singer.  A recent video has circulated that shows Frankie Valli having great difficulty onstage.  “It’s clear something deeper is going on with his health and it pains me to see him on stage in this condition, struggling, lip-syncing, seemingly unaware of his surroundings…This man is a legend.  He deserves dignity, not to be paraded around for profit or pushed to perform when he clearly needs care and compassion.  It’s not entertainment – it’s exploitation,” said Love.  She added, “To my own team, manager, publicist, and family: if I ever reach a point where I can no longer move, speak, or sing my own songs – please I beg you – do not allow me to perform.  My legacy matters.  How we leave this world artistically is just as important as how we enter it.”

“I’m watching the documentary about Michael Feinstein!”
– Michael Musto after seeing PBS’s airing of Liza: A Truly Terrific Absolutely True Story.

It’s a double-edged sword making a documentary about someone still alive.  Take Liza Minnelli.  Oh sure, she’ll ramble on and on about Kaye Thompson, Kander and Ebb, Halston, and even Mia Farrow.  But she doesn’t want to talk about her parents, her siblings, her “romances”, her addictions, or even Studio 54.  All that stuff is recounted by people who are Liza’s confidants from the past decade or two.  Do they have firsthand knowledge of events that happened half a century ago?  In most cases, no – they just know what Liza told them.  Her own lore has become fact by way of repetition.  While the documentary is short on insight and revelations, it includes some fantastic film footage.  There are also curious moments.  For instance, one almost never imagines Darren Criss to share a Liza story – let alone one that also includes Mitzi Gaynor.  It’s almost otherworldly – and yet, oddly familiar.  Come to think of it, it’s not surprising at all.

Chuck’s little boy, Luigi Mangione, is once again in hot water.  Before his court appearance on February 21^st, he requested special accommodations for his “fashion needs” – how gay is that?  His needs were a carefully chosen ensemble, which included a pair of argyle socks.  Inside the socks were two love notes – one to Luigi, and one addressed to someone named “Joan” – perhaps his drag name.  The one to Luigi said in part, “Know there are thousands of people wishing you luck.”  Although the notes were discovered before giving the clothes to Mangione, he was still allowed to wear them – including the socks.  So why was he sans socks in court?  He felt “they did not look good”.  No further questions, your honor.  As far as I’m concerned, case closed.

In a brief Ask Billy question, Henry in Baltimore asks, “Is there any update in the Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs case?  I heard more guys have come forward.”

According to new testimony, a male photographer claims he was forced to perform oral sex on Combs.  “If you suck right, I’ll make your career take off,” said the music mogul.  The photographer did indeed perform the aforementioned act to…shall we say, “completion”.  Combs told him to keep the “semen in his mouth like a squirrel” – which is odd because one rarely sees squirrels with a mouth full of semen, except on Fire Island and parts of San Francisco.  The photographer never saw Sean again – nor did the act result in anything “taking off”. 

When a man diddled Diddy, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  A picture may be worth a thousand words, but you can find both on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t squirrel anything away!  If you have a question burning inside of you, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we find out where Luigi is hiding his sock!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Last week, the Mark Twain Prize for Comedy was presented to Conan O’Brien at the aforementioned Kennedy Center.  John Mulaney kicked things off by saying, “Welcome to the Kennedy Center – or as it will be known next week, the Roy Cohn Pavilion for big, strong men.”  Ouch (that’s what he said!).  Many quipped this could be the last Mark Twain presentation – certainly one of the last we’ll see on TV (last year, the awards signed a deal to telecast on Netflix).  This year, the rights for The Kennedy Center Honors telecast are up for renewal with CBS – which has aired every installment since its inception.  However, the ratings have always been disappointing.  Throw in the possibility of the evening being hosted by El Presidente himself, and it may not be worth the trouble.

As if to underscore the changes in our government, the White House Correspondents’ Association has cancelled the tradition of having a comedian at its annual dinner, which takes place on April 26^th.  “The WHCA board has unanimously decided we are no longer featuring a comedic performance this year.  At this consequential moment for journalism, I want to ensure the focus is not on the politics of division but entirely on awarding our colleagues for their outstanding work and providing scholarship and mentorship to the next generation of journalists,” said WHCA president Eugene Daniels.  I hope Amber Ruffin had a “pay-or-play” contract.  Since they’ve had comics during worse moments (wartime, attack, recession, etc.), it seems to me the focus is on censorship and fear.

Much has been written about the connection between Mid-Century Modern and Will & Grace.  So much so that during a recent appearance on Good Morning America, Debra Messing was asked about the possibility of yet another reboot.  “I feel like the only thing that could possibly work is if in 20, 30 years we do a Golden Girls where they’re all living in Boca in caftans.”   Someone online quickly pointed out that Messing is 56, Mullalley is 66, McCormack is 61 and Hayes is a youthful 54.  When Golden Girls began, Betty White and Bea Arthur were 63, while McClanahan was only 51!  “You’re already Golden Girls,” quipped the online poster.  It should also be added that, like Bea and Betty, there is no love lost between Messing and Mullally – which certainly hastened the reboot’s demise.  Who is to blame will be debated by theologians for years to come.  But we do know when Messing was promoting a 2020 benefit for Project Angel Food and someone asked if Megan would appear, Deb posted the following: “Eric, Sean and I have done many many many charitable things together.  Ask yourself: have you ever seen Megan do anything charitable?”  And, yes, we have the receipts – on BillyMasters.com.

One of the least-inspired moments in Mid-Century Modern is the cast lip synching to En Vogue’s “Whatta Man”.  This leads to a story about the funky divas themselves.  They’re currently working as a quartet – with replacement Rhona Bennett in the lineup instead of founding member Dawn Robinson.  Then came word that Dawn is homeless and living in her car!  In People magazine, she “clarified” the situation.  “I want to make it clear: I am not homeless.  I am temporarily choosing car life as part of my journey of healing and self-discovery.”  Potato/Potahto!

Here comes another Mid-Century Modern connection.  There is an opera called Fellow Travelers, which is based on Thomas Mallon’s 2007 novel (which, of course, was turned into a miniseries starring Matt Bomer).   The opera, which debuted in 2018, was slated to be part of the Washington National Opera’s 2025-2026 season.  Alas, the composer and librettist felt it wouldn’t be a good fit given the political climate.  “We have made the impossibly difficult decision that the Kennedy Center is not a place the team feels comfortable having the work presented.”

“I will go to bat for them because I think they are unjustly and
unfairly attacked, as they are being again in this environment
and administration.  And I was a recipient of a GLAAD Award,
which I’m very proud of.  I’m more proud of that than I am of
any other award I’ve gotten – including the Emmy –
because it means that I actually meant something to somebody. 
That I did something good for some community, and
I appreciate that.  They appreciate me, and it’s vice versa!”
– Joy Behar discusses her connection with the gay community.

“I’m not a pedophile, but…” – five words you don’t ever want to say.  Hearing them from a close friend ain’t much better.  And yet, I knew exactly who he was going to reference – the filial equivalent of a contemporary.  While that tyke is well into his 20s, it’s nonetheless an indicator of the passage of time.  It was only moments ago when we were the young bucks on the town.  Now, we are precariously close to those anonymous men of a certain age who looked on from the end of the bar.  It should be noted that none of us have seen this tyke in the flesh.  Perhaps it’s simply one of those photographic anomalies – captured at the right place and time.  It’s happened to all of us.  But some people live in the right place and time.  Rather than be envious, why not take a little time to enjoy the view.

Which brings us to Mid-Century Modern – a terrible name for a series The Hollywood Reporter described thusly: “Nathan Lane and Matt Bomer Lead a Hulu Comedy That’s the Edgiest Sitcom of 1987”.  This sums up the show better than I could – and I say that having watched all ten episodes (there is no limit what I do for you, dear readers).  In some ways, the show is very old-fashioned.  There are setups you see coming a mile away, and stereotypes galore.  It’s a formula that has withstood the test of time.  The situations might have been edgy in 1987, but they are tame by today’s standards.  The shocking terms and “jokes” (if one can call them that) seem to have been shoehorned in to get a rise out of people – but don’t seem particularly funny or even shocking.  In fact, it took 18 minutes for me to laugh out loud at the first episode.  That was quickly followed up by a cringeworthy moment which was, alas, not an isolated incident.  And, wait a minute – was that Miss Coco Peru sitting way in the back as…dare I say, an extra?  Peru herself explains.  “I had 2 lines when we filmed and I was happy they got big laughs, but they also ended up cut.  Perhaps jokes about jizz aren’t Hulus thing…However, because I did the work, it’s in the contract that I get a guest star credit.  In the hotel scene you can see me in the office.”

While the cast is fine, Nathan Lane cements his status as a national treasure.  He’s never less than committed, even when the writing routinely lets him down (his Bunny makes Albert in The Birdcage look like Chuck Norris).  There is a plethora of talented guest stars – including the scene-stealing Cheri Oteri, who is an MVP whenever she shows up.  Richard Kind and Zane Phillips made Episode Five a highlight – or was it the bleached-blond extra in a tank top he may have crocheted between takes?  Regardless, it was easily the best episode of the bunch.  That this episode all but ignored Linda Lavin highlights the problem.  While her character had enormous potential, it was never fully mined.  She mostly operated in a vacuum, which makes her loss less than it might have been.  Had this show aired while in production, it might have been tweaked based on feedback.  Having a full season drop as it did robbed them of the opportunity to grow.  Is it worth watching?  Yes.  Will it get a second chance?  Stay tuned.

All this romance buzzing about leads to this week’s Ask Billy question.  Tom in Detroit asks, “What do you know about Luke Macfarlane’s boyfriend?  I’ve seen photos of them together, but don’t know anything about him.”

Your question is well-timed because Macfarlane is starting a new show on Hallmark Plus.  Home Is Where the Heart Is sounds like one of those dreadful movies starring Bethany Joy Lenz and Kristoffer Polaha (don’t ask me, “Who?”).  Luke’s latest venture is a reality show which as he claims will show the “beauty of growth, reinvention, and staying true to oneself.  This is a very true authentic piece of myself that I’m excited to share with you…and it comes from a real place.”  He was even featured on the cover of Out magazine – which I had no idea was still being published!  I couldn’t help but notice the sexy cover shot credits a photographer, a photographer’s assistant, a stylist, a groomer, and a videographer.  No wonder Luke looks so dreamy!!  As to the original question, the show will feature Luke’s current beau, Hig Roberts – and I have been assured that is the name on his birth certificate.  Hig is described as an “American Alpine skier” – and if he can make a living at that, more power to him!  Roberts gushed, “Going to spend a moment here appreciating Luke and the way he is showing up for the world.  Having a front row seat to the alignment of your life’s passions is beautiful and inspiring.”  Whoever wrote that statement should be shot, but they’re both nice to look at – as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When Luke’s love life is a race to the bottom, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Before we wrap, I’d like to mention the Let’s Get L.Aid concert – a benefit for people affected by the LA Fires.  In addition to the music being led by Paul Shaffer and “Weird Al” Yankovic, I want to single out Nancy Sinatra, who made a rare appearance singing her hit, “These Boots are Made for Walking” – although she appeared to be wearing some sort of orthopedic footwear.  It was a family affair since the band also included her daughter and granddaughter.  You can see the footage on our website, www.BillyMasters.com – the site that sizzles.  If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Jack Schlossberg and Patrick Schwarzenegger lock lips!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Last week was Saint Patrick’s Day – a big holiday in Boston.  For some reason, pop star Ed Sheeran was in town.  So what do you do in Boston on Saint Patrick’s Day?  You go to an Irish pub.  Sheeran went to The Dubliner wearing a green and white Celtics jersey and jacket.  He played several songs with folk band Beoga, including “Shape of You”, “I Don’t Care”, “Nancy Mulligan”, “Grace”, and ended the set with “Galway Girl”.  You can check out the performance on BillyMasters.com.

In one of those transitions that you’ll only find in a Billy Masters column, Irish tae kwon do Olympian Jack Woolley got engaged on Saint Patrick’s Day.  This is relevant because he is hot, gay and obviously is engaged to another hot, gay man.  Woolley’s also been in the news since he just finished second on Ireland’s Dancing with the Stars last week.  Shortly after the finale, he proposed to Daithi Murphy.  Here’s a fun fact – proving that hot Olympians are just like the rest of us, Jack and Daithi’s first date was in a McDonald’s parking lot.  Oh, the memories that brings back – fumbling around in a bucket seat, the pungent smell of exhaust in the air, and someone asking, “Would you like to super-size that?”  A moment of enchantment they can share with the kiddies…eventually.

In some stateside romance, two Las Vegas male strippers got engaged.  Davis Taylor Rahal is a “dancer” in the Magic Mike show.  Last weekend, he stopped the show midway to bring his beau onstage.  Shay H is a “dancer” with the ever-popular Thunder from Down Under.  “This year has been filled with joy, laughter, love, and adventure,” said Davis – which he followed by saying those four magic words.  No, not “your Visa was declined.”  He said, “Will you marry me?”  Shay, obviously a man of few words, nodded, the couple kissed, and everyone applauded.  ‘Cause nothing makes horny suburban straight women on vacation happier than to see two hot men kiss!

Proving that marriage isn’t limited to gay folk, attorney Steve Mitchel took a bridle.  I’m sorry – he took a BRIDE.  It’s an honest mistake when the bride is Melissa Rivers!  Joan’s little filly got back into the saddle at the Four Seasons in cowboy country, Jackson Hole, Wyoming.  The wedding was officiated by Sabrina Lott-Miller, Joan’s longtime assistant.  Missy’s son Cooper gave the first toast, where he cautioned his new step-father to give his new bride her own way…”if you know what’s good for you.”  In a touching gesture, each guest was asked to wear a bee pin from the Joan Rivers Jewelry Collection.  Invoices to follow.

Last week, Trump released tens of thousands of unredacted documents pertaining to the assassination of John F. Kennedy.  Jack Schlossberg took to social media and said: “What the JFK files say about me is not true.  I’m straight.”  He followed it up by saying, “President Trump is obsessed with my grandfather – but not in his life or what he achieved in it.  No, just like @robertfkennedyjr, @realdonaldtrump is only interested in JFK’s carcass.”

It was a big week for another quasi-Kennedy.  Patrick Schwarzenegger made tongues wag with his same-sex kiss on The White Lotus.  It wasn’t just a same-sex kiss – it was with his on-screen brother, Sam Nivola.  Patrick was quick to point out, “Well obviously they’re not brothers by blood, so that made it easier.”  Yeah, ‘cause that would have been troublesome!  Patrick says he discussed the scene with creator Mike White: “He wants to leave that up to the interpretation of the audience of what is happening.  Was a power shift happening?  Is there a different power dynamic between him and Lochy?  Is Lochy coming on to him?  Is it the drugs?  Is it the girls pressuring him?  What is it?  So, I think he leaves that open-ended for the audience to try to decipher.”  Am I the only one who thinks this is much ado about nothing?  You know what they say – what happens in Thailand, stays in Thailand.

“They wanted me in the dress and the wig and to go in this giant arena
with Bill Gates and I said I don’t sell out the character. 
And then they told me what they were going to pay me,
and I said, ‘I’ll get the bitch’s dress on right now!”
– Dana Carvey’s response when asked to play the Church Lady at an event honoring Billy Gates.

Last week, El Presidente went to survey one of his latest acquisitions – The Kennedy Center.  He was accompanied by the press and had his photo taken in the presidential box, arms aloft as if some ersatz Evita Peron.  Make no mistake – he’s got big plans.  He shared some of them, along with his cultural taste.  “I never liked Hamilton very much.  I never liked it.  But we are going to have some really good shows.  Come here and watch it, and you’ll see over a period of time it will improve very greatly physically, and we’re going to get some very good shows.  The thing that does well as Broadway hits.”  He’s also considering hosting The Kennedy Center Honors himself, and perhaps even bestowing the award onto posthumous recipients.  I guess that means Liza still has a shot!

At roughly the same time, Harvey Fierstein talked about the same thing on social media.  “I have been banned from THE KENNEDY CENTER.”  He added, “I have been in the struggle for our civil rights for more than 50 years only to watch them snatched away by a man who actually couldn’t care less.  He does this stuff only to placate the religious right so they’ll look the other way as he savages our political system for his own glorification.”  One of the first people to respond was Richard Grenell, the Kennedy Center’s interim president.  “This is a total lie.  Whoever told you this (because you obviously didn’t do your own research) should be fired from your team for purposefully making you look foolish.  I, too, have been in the fight for equality for decades.  I’m the President of the Kennedy Center and first openly gay U.S. Cabinet official.  I was appointed by @DonaldJTrumpJr to both jobs.  You aren’t banned.  In fact, come do Hairspray or La Cage here at the Kennedy Center.  This is your personal invite.  Let’s meet.  If, however, you can’t handle diverse opinions and want to be inclusive of everyone, that is.”  First, I do hope he wasn’t hired by Donald Trump Jr. – unless he’s making some bold revelation.  Secondly, I would truly love to see El in the presidential box at a Fierstein show.  What a hoot!

Remember the big-screen remake of La Cage with Nathan Lane and Robin Williams?  The hotel that the couple owned in The Birdcage is getting quite a make-over.  The Raleigh Hotel in South Beach is poised to get a $1 billion facelift – which is pretty minor by SoBe standards.  It will be turned into a boutique hotel and luxury apartments called The Rosewood Hotel & Residences.  Allegedly, there’s already over $250 million in pre-sales.

They say it’s not over until the fat lady sings.  If there’s one thing Donatella Versace is not, it’s fat.  And yet, she’s announced that she’s stepping down as the creative director of Versace.  While she will remain with the company as an “ambassador”, she will be replaced by Dario Vitale, previously a designer with Miu Miu.

CBS recently debuted their new soap opera, Beyond the Gates.  While most viewers have complained about the bad writing, cheap sets, and ridiculous scenarios, it actually has something going for it – ratings from the first two weeks were up 78% from its predecessor, The Talk.  It actually tied in the ratings with General Hospital.

We have time for a brief Ask Billy.  Josh in Maine asks, “Is it true that John Whaite is doing gay porn?”

In case you don’t know (or can’t remember that far back), Whaite was a contestant (and eventual winner) of The Great British Bake Off in 2012 while he was a law student.  Back then, he was allegedly working for a “top law firm” (I’ll be the judge of that).  He eventually gave it all up to become a full-time chef – which included a number of TV gigs.  In 2021, he was on Strictly Come Dancing with a male pro Johannes Radebe – the first time the show featured a same-sex couple in competition.  Alas, he fell in love with Radebe, which caused a schism with Whaite’s long-term partner, Paul Atkins.  He also revealed that during that time, he had several “drunken fondles and experiments with various soap stars and celebrities”.  Nonetheless, John and Paul got married last year in NYC after being together for over 15 years.  They started a gourmet brownie company called Ruff Puff, while Whaite also started his OnlyFans page, with a promise to deliver “the side of me you haven’t seen…yet.”  He plans to include lots of content – “from solo play to collabs, it’s all here.”  In explaining his two ventures, he said, “One sells brownies and cookies while the other is a meatier enterprise.”  You can preview some of his wares on BillyMasters.com.

When baking helps develop great arms, it’s definitely time for me to head into the kitchen and end yet another column.  I can see it now – Whisking to the Oldies.  Oh, Richard Simmons would be so proud.  However, I’m simply too overbooked to start a new venture at the moment.  First things first – finding a vacation spot where I’m not too old, too poor, but the men are too hot to care.  I’m sure I’ll run some ideas by you on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s clothing optional.  Should you want to take that option with moi, send some photographic evidence to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before my loaf rises.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Last week, The Kennedy Center released a very long list of performances that have been cancelled at their venue along with the reasons the show did not go on.  I found the various reasons quite curious – flood, fire, theatre repair, and artist illness, alongside the typical low ticket sales or no reason listed.  Which begs the question – are these artists protesting the current administration, or trying to avoid some sort of curse?

The Kennedy curse continued for JD Vance and Mrs. Vance.  They were at the center to see the National Symphony Orchestra when people in the audience broke out in boos.  Watching the video of this fracas, I must admit I was completely flummoxed.  JD Vance went to the symphony?

You may have heard that the Sundance Film Festival’s contract with the City of Sundance expires in a couple of years, and the festival is entertaining bids to move.  That’s fine by me, as long as they change the name.  You surely cannot have the Sundance Film Festival in Salt Lake City.  But what about if it were in another state entirely?  That’s what Robert Redford and other festival execs are pondering in light of a proposed bill that would ban Pride flags in schools and other state buildings in Utah.  Festival leaders claim that Sundance is a “vibrant, inviting and inclusive festival”.  So, I decided to help them out and provide a few options.  Didya know that there are cities called Sundance in New Mexico and Wyoming?  There’s also two Sundances in our 51^st state – Canada.  One in Alberta, and one in Manitoba, which is a ghost town.  I smell a winner (or whatever one smells in a ghost town).

A new production of Shakespeare’s Othello is breaking all kinds of Broadway records due to stars Denzel Washington and Jake Gyllenhaal. And yet, again, I am perplexed.  The marquee shows Denzel’s name before Jake’s – as befits the actor playing the title role.  But the photo above the names shows Jake on the left with Denzel’s name directly below.  Couldn’t someone find a single photo with Denzel on the left?

You know whose name is soon to be leaving Broadway?  Nicole Scherzinger, who will fade into the Sunset Blvd on July 13^th – about a month after she loses the Tony Award (just a hunch).  But she won’t be gone for long.  She’s slated to make her Carnegie Hall debut on October 8^th, in a concert that will likely begin with “As If We Never Said Goodbye” (again, just a hunch).

Where her name will not appear is back in London’s West End, where she had aspirations of helming a new production of Evita.  Several names had been bandied about for this Jamie Lloyd production (the same chap who directed the Sunset Blvd revival).  Ariana DeBose was the main contender, but she pulled out due to previous commitments.  The lackluster Rachel Zegler will star, and Lloyd claims she will “blow the roof off the London Palladium”.  Since she was unable to blow off anything in the film remake of West Side Story, I remain skeptical.

Some things can be measured – like cognitive abilities.  Wendy Williams is on the brink of getting a new evaluation with the hopes of quashing her conservatorship and regaining control of her life…and her assets.  Make no mistake, her situation is all about money.  If she was Wendy from the projects, nobody would be locking her up and controlling her assets.  She could be a complete mess and not a single person would care.  Her conservatorship began when Wells Fargo petitioned the court.  Yes, they were allegedly looking out for her best interests.  But don’t people have the right to squander their cash and make bad decisions?  If not, I should be locked away!

Then there’s Lady Gaga.  She says in 2020, she had “psychosis” and adds “I was not deeply in touch with reality.”  Did anyone lock her up?  Well, she kinda locked herself up.  Back in 2011, she directed the music video for “Marry the Night”, which showed her being wheeled into a mental institution on a gurney.  She called it “autobiographical”.  In the video, she tells the doctor evaluating her, “I’m gonna be a star.”  He thinks she’s delusional.  And yet…

People make drastic decisions when it comes to their mental health.  Some sleep with strangers connected to royalty (see above), while some simply escape.  Take Rosie O’Donnell.  She’s one of the few people who threatened to leave the country if Trump got elected to actually follow through.  Strike that – so did Ellen DeGeneres.  Maybe it’s a lesbian thing.  Or a comedienne thing.  “Although I was never someone who thought I would move to another country, that’s what I decided would be the best for myself and my 12-year-old child.”  She made this revelation on TikTok – which I’m sure my friend would say she’s far too old for!

“Thank you, Madame Chair.”
– Representative Sarah McBride’s response when the Chair for the House Foreign Affairs
subcommittee, Keith Self, referred to her as “Representative from Delaware Mr. McBride.” 
Sarah may have been willing to move on, but Bill Keating from Massachusetts interjected:
“Mr. Chairman, have you no decency?”  He added, “You will not continue it with me unless
you introduce a duly elected representative the right way.”  With that, the hearing came to an end.

I recently came across a map of Europe which allegedly showed where the population of each country thinks the best-looking men come from.  About 92% of Europe thinks Italian men are the hottest.  Interestingly enough, Italians think the Swedes are the hottest.  The country with the healthiest self-esteem is Greece, which thinks the hottest men come from within its own borders.  Outside of European countries, only Brazil made a dent.  If I had a nickel for every Brazilian who made a dent.  Which leads to our next story.

What the map didn’t address was how old these hot men were.  I was discussing vacation destinations with a friend and mentioned Ibiza.  He quickly said, “Don’t you think you’re too old for Ibiza?”  Am I a hundred?  Considering the Phoenicians went there in 654BC, I’m a veritable teenager!  Then I suggested Sitges, to which my friend quipped, “You don’t have enough money.”  Apparently I’m old and poor.  That wasn’t always the case.  I recall a trip to Monte Carlo about 20 years ago.  Sure, I was younger, but definitely poorer.  That didn’t stop a lad I met with Prince Albert from knocking on my hotel room door at 2AM.  I’m just saying that maybe I’m part of a metric that cannot be easily measured.  Or it might simply have been proximity – I was staying next door to the palace!

Our Ask Billy question is something on a lot of your minds.  Reggie in Maine asks: “When is Mid-Century Modern actually gonna air?  We’ve been waiting about a year.”

To be fair, Reggie’s question came in about a month ago.  I held it until now for timeliness.  The sitcom, being called a gay Golden Girls, hits Hulu on March 28^th.  But, be forewarned.  Advanced word is mixed at best.  The premise sounded promising – a gay man (Nathan Lane) asks his two besties (Matt Bomer and Nathan Lee Graham) to move into his palatial Palm Springs home that he shares with his mom (Linda Lavin).  But the trailer (which you can see on BillyMasters.com) seems a bit uneven.  Still, I’m inclined to watch.  After all, I liked Encore!  Encore!.

When I’m the only person who remembers the comedy duo of Nathan Lane and Joan Plowright, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Before we wrap up, let me announce something that’s been in the works for a while – the return of Billy Masters LIVE.  While I can’t reveal much, you can expect an episode or two a month starting in April.  More details will surely be found on  www.BillyMasters.com – the site that can’t keep a secret.  Should you need a bit more out of (or into) your dear Billy, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I help Armie finish his entrée!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Luigi Mangione was back in the news.  First there was word that he once posted on Twitter about having a “pretty huge dick”.  Maybe he spent some time in New Hampshire!  Now we hear he enjoyed being watched while having intimate relations, and there are “at least 20 videos of him having sex”.  Someone who claims to have seen the footage says, “It wasn’t just some grainy, late-night mistake.  It was perfect lighting, everything.”  How titillating.  Alas, the titillation also has real tits.  “A lot of the girls are too afraid to come forward or tell anyone for free they might get dragged into his case somehow.”  For the record, I’d let him drag me anywhere.

We don’t hear much about Armie Hammer, and that truly saddens me.  But on his Armie HammerTime podcast (take that in, people), he claims to have been attracted to his impression of the gay lifestyle.  “I’m at a restaurant, my phone blows up and it’s like Grindr, and like someone else is like, ‘I’m at the same restaurant.  Do you want a blow job in the bathroom.  And you’re like, ‘Hey guys, I’ll be back in five minutes.  You get up and you go to the bathroom, you get a blow job, you come back, and you’re like, ‘What was that?’  ‘I don’t know – some guy just sucked my dick.’  It’s like, ‘Who?’  It’s like, ‘Oh, I don’t know – I didn’t get his name.  Anyway, what did you order?’”  Well sure, Armie, when you put it like that, it all sounds so romantic.  But not always. 

Armie decided to give being gay a try.  “I remember I met this dude, handsome, French, you know – the whole thing.  I was like okay, this could work, this could work.  Let’s try this.  I just remember being like, God, beards – like women like it when you shave like this is fucking rough.  I remember I put my arms around him and I was like, oh my God and these shoulders are so wide.  He’s so big, like he’s almost my height…It did physically for me absolutely nothing.  Nothing, like not even a twitch.  I was like okay and then I remember like we were like making out and it was kind of like getting hotter and heavier but I was like going through the motions like not feeling anything.  And then he like reached for my dick.  I was like, ‘This is not going to happen, I’m sorry.’”  You know what I got out of this story, Armie?  You simply tried being gay with the wrong guy.  Maybe if you were with someone a bit less scruffy with a slighter frame, it might have worked.  If you want me to meet you in a restaurant bathroom, I guarantee I can do more than give you a twitch!

“So I’m performing ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ by
Sherry Bassey.  I wanted to respect the original sound
being it’s from like the ‘70s and so I wanted to channel
her but also give just an essence of myself within it.”
– Doja Cat during a Vogue backstage video of her getting ready for the Oscars. 
You know how to respect something?  Know the name of the person
who originally sang the song.  Repeat after me…SHIRLEY BASSEY.

What do Whoopi Goldberg and the touring company of Hamilton have in common?  They won’t be appearing at The Kennedy Center.  Hamilton cancelled a 2026 Kennedy Center run due to “the recent purge by the Trump administration of both professional staff and performing arts events at or originally produced by the Kennedy Center.”  Whoopi, while not a Kennedy Center Honoree, does have the Kennedy Center’s Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.  She too has taken a stand.  “I have no plans to go back to the Kennedy Center until the Kennedy Center becomes what it was supposed to be – a welcome place for all artists no matter what your groove is.

Whoopi did, however, appear at the Oscars – and looked quite fabulous.  One part of the ceremony which got quite a bit of criticism was the unfocused and almost pointless tribute to James Bond.  It included such songstresses as Lisa, Raye and Doja Cat – who quite literally choked under pressure.  Referring to “Diamonds Are Forever”, she said, “The song is a classic, and I put a lot of work into it but the nerves got to me and a bitch hit some flats.”  That’s putting it mildly.  Intriguingly, the lady who originated the song, Dame Shirley Bassey, took to the stage at 88 years old and sang it in Monaco three days before the Oscars.  Why didn’t the Academy call her?  It should be noted that Bassey – who sang three Bond themes – appeared on the Academy Awards celebrating 50 years of Bond in 2013 with a show-stopping rendition of “Goldfinger”.  But I suspect nobody would have minded seeing her again!

Isabella Rossellini had a momentous night at the Oscars.  Her ensemble was chosen with care – including a gown in blue velvet in honor of the film of the same name’s director, David Lynch.  Her date was Blue Velvet co-star, Laura Dern.  Her earrings were worn to the 1975 Oscars when her mom, Ingrid Bergman, won.  Those earrings were a gift for Ingrid by her then-husband (and Isabella’s dad), Roberto Rossellini.  Classy.

We’re doomed.  Finished.  Over.  After last week, I believe there is no hope.  I’m not talking about poor Zelenskyy being ambushed.  I’m also not talking about Rep. Al Green – who is also one helluva singer.  No, I’m talking about the execution of Brad Keith Sigmon in South Carolina – by firing squad!  Is it the 1800s?  Are we truly barbarians?  To be fair, Sigmon actually CHOSE to be killed by firing squad – and if that doesn’t scream insanity, then I don’t know what does (his other choices were electrocution and gas chamber).  You know what else is still on the books?  Death by hanging!  Oh, yes – you can be hung in Delaware, New Hampshire, and Washington – although I’ve slept with loads of men in New Hampshire and none were particularly well-hung.

Since we’re talking about death, let me update you on the Gene Hackman situation – although I suspect if you’re interested in this sort of thing, you already know what I’m about to say.  It would appear that Gene had advanced Alzheimer’s along with some coronary issues and died on February 18^th.  However, he seems to have outlived his wife by one week.  She succumbed to Hantavirus, which is spread through rat feces.  It would appear Gene was on a feces-free diet because no rat or any other food was found in his system – although he was not dehydrated.  So I’m to believe Mrs. Hackman died, and Gene continued on alone for a week?  Without food, without wife, but with water and a wailing dog?  And where were those great, attentive kids of his?  Nowhere to be found.

Speaking of wailing dogs, we come to Pamela Bach (I’m not being crass…just give me a moment).  The former Mrs. David Hasselhoff committed suicide – yet not due to her marital choices.  She suffered from crippling arthritis ever since a motorcycle accident with David back in 2003.  She was lying dead in her bedroom for several days with reports of a dog howling.  Happily someone checked in to see what the fuss was about.  The dog survived.

Our Ask Billy question is quite fascinating to me.  Shawn in Dallas writes: “Do you know Chad Franke Marks?  His mom Ruby was arrested for child abuse.  But he sure is pretty.”

This is like one of those stories Keith Morrison would have narrated: “Ruby Franke had it all.  Six kids, a husband, and a parenting podcast on YouTube.  Life was good for Ruby – or was it?”  While not germane to the story, Ruby and her family were members of the Mormon church and lived in Utah.  All seemed fine until an August night in 2023, when her 12-year-old son Russell escaped through a window in their home and asked a neighbor to take him to the police.  He had open wounds and duct tape and rope around parts of his body!  Police also found 9-year-old Eva in “a similar physical condition of malnourishment.”  And then there’s Chad.  He seemed fine – probably because he’d moved out of the house before these events transpired.  He became a sun-kissed blond lifeguard…nothing wrong with that.  Now he’s 20, working in real estate, and still posting online…on SnapChat.  No indication that he’s gay, but he doesn’t seem averse to showing some skin, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When Hackman’s dog was in the closet and Chad isn’t, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Looking at photos of Chad, I couldn’t help but think he’s exactly the kinda guy who would have been asked to model for A&F by their former CEO.  Of course, that’s why that CEO might end up in prison…alongside Chad’s mom!   It certainly ain’t a crime to check Chad out on  www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s encourages you to take a little time to enjoy the view.  If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Demi plays Lyle Menendez!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Remember when I predicted Betty Gilpin’s run in Oh, Mary! would be disastrous at the box office?  I’m not saying this is disastrous, but the show you couldn’t get a ticket to is currently running at about 86% capacity.  Sure, that’s still commendable, but it’s a precipitous drop.  With Titus Burgess coming in for three weeks starting on March 18^th, things should pick up a bit.  And then?  Cole Escola and the entire original cast return on April 8^th – which is a perfect time to remind Tony Award voters why this was such a hit in the first place.

By the by, Cole’s absence wasn’t the only one to adversely affect the Broadway box office.  Audra McDonald was out for five performances of Gypsy due to a death of husband Will Swenson’s father.  Predictably, the box office suffered with attendance dropping from 85% to 58%.  Ouch!  That was a loss of roughly $600K in revenue.  Someone better remember that when it’s time to renegotiate!

I want to give credit where it’s due.  When Audra was out of Gypsy, her standby Tryphena Wade went on, and had a great success of her own.  A spy sent us a video of her “Rose’s Turn”.  She makes it her own – helped, in no small part, but eliminating the awkward key transposition put in for Audra.  You can check her out on our website.

The return of the original cast of Oh, Mary! will obviously include Conrad Ricamora, who will once again slip into Abraham Lincoln’s britches (which I suspect they’d both enjoy immensely).  But before that, Connie and his hubby Pete Wesley dashed off to Gay Paree – which was gayer than ever, if their Instagram photos are to be believed.  Snaps from their sojourn by the Seine can be found on social media…or on BillyMasters.com.

I recently told you about the cancellation of the national tour of Finn, a children’s musical which began at The Kennedy Center.  There will be a special performance of the show on March 17^th at New York’s Town Hall.  Obviously original cast members will be performing alongside numerous luminaries, such as Andrea Martin, Andrew Rannells, Kelli O’Hara, Jessie Mueller, Lea Salonga, and even the New York City Gay Men’s Chorus – a group which was also banished from The Kennedy Center.  Not surprisingly, this evening has been spearheaded by Seth Rudetsky and James Wesley along with Finn creators Chris Nee, Michael Kooman and Christopher Dimond.  If you can’t make it in person, have no fear – the night will also be livestreamed as part of the fifth anniversary celebration of Stars in the House.  Obviously proceeds must be going to a good cause, right?  The beneficiary will be The Trevor Project.  You can watch and donate at StarsInTheHouse.com.

I missed the Carnegie Hall debut of Jinkx Monsoon, which took place on Valentine’s Day – a holiday I’m somewhat unfamiliar with…perhaps because it happens hot on the heels of my birthday.  Fun fact – I’ve had many, many beaus on my birthdays.  I’ve also had many, many beaus on Valentine’s Day.  But I’ve not had the same beau on both.  While you ponder that, let me tell you Jinkx at Carnegie Hall was a triumph.  I guess she practiced!

“I am thrilled to accept the Razzie award in so many important
categories for @megalopolisfilm, and for the distinctive honor
of being nominated as the worst director, worst screenplay,
and worst picture at a time when so few have the courage to go
against the prevailing trends of contemporary moviemaking!”
– Francis Ford Coppola begins his Razzie acceptance speech via Instagram.  Of course, one can
rebound from a Razzie.  Pamela Anderson was named Razzie Redeemer for The Last Showgirl. 
In 1996, she was named Worst New Star for the eminently more entertaining Barb Wire.

By now, we all know the answer to that – yes.  I guess he got Mitzi Gaynor’s slot.  Still, there were moments of suspense.  Kamela was coming, she wasn’t coming.  Then there was the “James Bond” sequence, a tribute that left the world asking the question, “Why?”  I know they had Dame Shirley a few years ago.  But don’t tell me Adele was busy.  Or Gladys.  I’d have killed for a Sheena!  I’m no theologian, but I’m fairly confident anyone named Culkin winning an Oscar is one of the signs of an imminent apocalypse.  Am I the only one who thinks Demi could have been in Nosferatu?  The only thing Goldie didn’t do was scream La La Land!  Lastly, I think Sean Baker was the best part of the show.

The big story of last week was the death of Gene Hackman and his wife Betsy Arakawa…and their dog.  Everybody seems to forget about the dog, as if it died in any less curious a way.  Gene and his wife lived in a gated community in Santa Fe.  What we know as of this writing is that maintenance workers called 911 saying that while gardening, they looked in the window and could see two unconscious people who appeared to be “decomposing” (that’s one helluva vantage point).  Police let themselves in through an unsecured front door.  Fun fact – the Santa Fe Sheriff’s office also investigated the set of Rust, and we know what a crackjack job they did on that!  Police found Hackman in the “mud room” (note to readers not familiar with this term – typically a room between the back door and the kitchen where one would remove muddy footwear and clothing).  They found Betsy on the floor of the bathroom surrounded by pills, with a (living) dog lying by her side.  Another dog was found dead in a crate inside the bathroom closet.  And a third dog was running around outside.  And the police didn’t find anything suspicious?

Then Gene’s daughter Leslie chimed in.  “Despite his age, he was in very good physical condition.  He liked to do Pilates and yoga, and he was continuing to do that several times a week.  So he was in good health.”  She later added that his death was “not terribly shocking because he was 95.”  OK, Leslie, but at the same time as his wife?  And the dog?  Turns out, Leslie hadn’t talked to Dad for “several months”.  Good kid.  Police say there’s no sign of carbon monoxide poisoning.  When they ran a test on Hackman’s pacemaker, they discovered the last activity was on February 17^th.  So that’s a couple weeks earlier.  Both husband and wife’s bodies have been downgraded from “signs of decomposition” to “mummification” – like they were found in Luxor near King Tut!  And the most pressing question of all – would the Academy re-edit the “In Memoriam” package to include Hackman?

Someone who certainly ain’t stinky is Michael Lucas.  The gay porn performer and impresario has made an announcement – he’s going to make his bottoming debut (on film).  It’s so nice to know that even at an advanced age, it’s still possible to have firsts (why did my computer autocorrect that to “fists”?).  Mikey says, “I top probably 99 percent of the time in my personal life, but I have tried bottoming before.  I just didn’t feel comfortable doing it for everyone to see.”  Who is the lucky guy taking Lucas’ cherry – at least on screen?  That would be Louis Ricaute.  “I’ve known Louis for about 10 years, and I like him a lot.  He’s incredibly friendly and easy-going.  He’s also a great performer who I’ve topped before, and he asked me about filming a versatile scene in the past.  So I figured, ‘Why not?’  The sign will have dropped (so to speak) on LucasEntertainment.com by the time you read this, and you can see some images for the event on BillyMasters.com.

When Lucas is flipping, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  You’ll certainly flip if you head on over to www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s versatile.  We didn’t have room to print an Ask Billy question this week, but I’m always there for you – even in private.  Send your question to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Trump and The Village People do a commercial for Crunch!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Sometimes life imitates art.  Take Ali Abbasi, director of the film The Apprentice about Donald Trump.  He was recently accused of groping someone.  Let’s take that in – the director of a biopic chastising a guy who talked about grabbing women by the pussy, groped someone?  Ali went on Twitter/X/Whatever and said, “I want to address the recent articles about me directly and openly.  I fully understand that my action made someone uncomfortable, regardless of my intent, and for that, I am sorry.”  But wait…there’s more.  “I had spent time with the person concerned on multiple occasions and had reason to think we had a friendly relationship.  When I saw him at the Golden Globes party, I was excited to reconnect.  I made an overly-familiar gesture – a slap on the rear – which I intended as playful and not in any sexual way whatsoever.  I quickly realized I had misjudged the situation.  I apologized to him on the spot, and the following day I made sure my apology was reiterated through my representatives.”  All I got out of that was the “victim” was a “he”!  Please, God, let it have been Sebastian Stan!

Like the annual appearance of the groundhog popping up out of his hole, so goes Kevin Spacey…doing whatever it is he does with holes.  Guy Pearce was on the Hollywood Reporter’s Awards Chatter podcast and revealed that when he filmed LA Confidential, Kevin Spacey “targeted me, no question”.  He told his then-wife about the “attention”, adding that the only days he felt safe on the set was when Simon Baker was there – because Spacey focused on Simon instead.  One can say many things about Spacey, but one can’t fault him for his taste.  Pearce says the memories came flooding back during the #MeToo movement.  “I was in London working on something and I hear about it and I broke down and sobbed, and I couldn’t stop.  I think it really dawned on me the impact that had occurred and how I sort of brushed it off and how I had either shelved it or blocked it out or whatever.”

Spacey came out swinging.  “We worked together a long time ago.  If I did something then that upset you, you could have reached out to me.  We could have had that conversation, but instead, you’ve decided to speak to the press, who are now, of course, coming after me, because they would like to know what my response is to the things you said.  You really want to know what my response is?  Grow up.”  He added that a year after they made that film, Guy flew to Georgia “just to spend time with me” while Spacey was filming Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil”  “I mean, did you tell the press that too, or does that not fit into the victim narrative you have going?  So, anyway, I apologize that I didn’t get the message that you don’t like spending time with me.  Maybe there was another reason, I don’t know.  But that doesn’t make any sense that you just would have been leading me on, right?”  Hmmm.  Then he wraps it up: “You want to have a conversation?  I’m happy to do so, anytime, any place.  We can even do it here, live on X, if you like.  I’ve got nothing to hide.  But Guy – you need to grow up.  You are not a victim.”

Since I’m freezing my assets off in Boston, here’s a story with hometown roots.  Last week, visitors to the John F. Kennedy Library found a sign crudely taped to the front door which read: “Due to the executive order, the JFK Library will be closed until further notice.”  As a result of President Musk’s firing frenzy, the library was shuttered.  I always thought Presidential Libraries were private institutions (clearly I watched too many episodes of Veep).  Turns out, the Office of Presidential Libraries is under the National Archives and Records Administration.  People were on our local news crying that they couldn’t go to an area that, frankly, isn’t particularly safe after dark (and not so safe during daylight).  Obviously these were not native Bostonians, who by and large never visit the place.  You sure ain’t seeing any Schlossbergs there – although Jack Schlossberg took to social media like he’s working as a ticket taker!  And, that, it turns out, is part of the problem.  When the library re-opened the next day, admission was free.  Why?  The five people who were let go were the only people who knew how to run the ticketing machinery!  Solution?  Free admission!  For now, at least.

Tensions won’t get relieved at Crunch Fitness West Hollywood (although, technically, not within the confines of West Hollywood).  In mid-January, the popular gym posted the following sign: “The steam room in the men’s locker room is temporarily closed.  This is due to inappropriate conduct by members.  Reopening is under review and will be determined the week of January 27^th”.  On January 31^st, there was an updated sign saying the situation was still under review.  The steam room reopened on February 3^rd.  Shortly thereafter, a new sign appeared (apparently someone really likes signs).  “Inappropriate behavior will result in your membership being terminated.  100%.  End of Story.  Full stop.”  On February 17^th, a new sign appeared.  “The steam room is permanently closed.  Please speak to the Front Desk if you have any questions.”  So members who pay loads of money in dues should speak to an inanimate object instead of a person?  Some patrons point out at the same “activity” is happening in the showers, and they haven’t been shuttered.  Well, we can’t have stinky studs walking out all sweaty!

“How crazy is it to think that we’re going to celebrate
Christ at Christmas with a big traditional production
to celebrate what we are all celebrating in the
world during Christmastime, which is the birth of Christ.”
– Ric Grenell, the new president of The Kennedy Center.  He says their new chairman
of the board wants to “make art great again”!  I believe that’s how Hitler got started.

Jaymes Vaughan recently asked ChatGPT to write a comedy roast about hubby Jonathan Bennett, and asked to make it “very mean”.  While you can see Jaymes read it (and Bennett’s hilarious response) on BillyMasters.com, here’s some of it: “Jonathan Bennett: Hollywood’s answer to ‘Do we have a budget for a real leading man?  No?  OK, call him.  You had your big break as Aaron Samuels in Mean Girls, a movie so iconic that people still quote it to this day…but somehow, not your lines…. It’s honestly impressive how you’ve managed to stretch 15 minutes of Mean Girls fame to an entire career of…well, existing…You’re like the Hollywood version of an outdated iPhone.  Sure, you technically still work, but no one’s exactly excited to use you.  Every time you pop up in a Hallmark movie, America collectively shrugs and says, ‘Oh, HIM again!’”

That made me curious – what would ChatGPT have to say about your beloved Billy Masters?  I didn’t fare much better.  “Billy Masters?  When people say ‘not everyone is cut out for comedy,’ Billy’s face is the first thing that pops up in their minds.  Billy’s column is like a buffet – half of it is stuff you just don’t want to touch, and the other half makes you question if the food is even fresh!  You’d get more laughs reading the back of a cereal box – at least that has some mystery to it!  And let’s talk about his comedic timing – it’s about as sharp as a marble.  If comedy had a participation trophy, Billy would have a shelf full of them – probably displayed next to his collection of unfunny Tweets.”  I take offense to that last bit – my lifetime Tweets are probably still in single digits.

This week’s Ask Billy question really took me back.  Sam in Las Vegas writes, “I read that Tom Chase is making a comeback.  Is it true?”

Gay porn legend Tom Chase got into gay porn in the 1990s, primarily working with Falcon.  At the time, he called himself “the Wally Cleaver of porn”.  In 2004, he announced his retirement.  Two years later, he returned – somewhat scruffier and more in the daddy vibe.  He landed at Colt Studios and was bigger than ever (so to speak).  He retired again around 2009.  Recently he gave an interview to explain what’s he’s been up to.  He’s a personal trainer, married to his best friend, and living in Oregon.  He said, “I am adjusting to getting older.  I am letting go of needing my butt to be as firm as a basketball, and I am allowing myself to crease and wrinkle and be ok about it.”  I’ll have to ask him how he did that!  As to gay porn, he started an OnlyFans page last year (he filmed a scene with Johnny Hazzard).  However, he’s open to a full-scale porn return.  He says he’d like to work for Raging Stallion – “any studio that focuses on older, senior muscle guys will interest me”.  He looks at his life in three stages – but phrases it like one of those SAT word questions.  “The first half of my career lasted 15 years.  Then I took 15 years off to grow up and get happy.  I want the second half of my career to be just as long – 15 years, finishing at the age of 75.”  So how old is Tom now?  You’ll get more visual clues on BillyMasters.com.

When Chase is showing off his beaver, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  These few days in Fort Lauderdale were just what I needed to recharge.  If you need to warm up, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s both naughty and nice.  If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Trump becomes a pescatarian!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Back in 2023, Sean Hayes won a Best Actor Tony for Good Night, Oscar, in which he played actor, pianist and raconteur Oscar Levant.  The show closed in August of 2023.  If you missed it, have no fear.  It’s just been announced that Hayes will bring the show to London’s Barbican Theatre – thus making his West End debut.  It’s a limited seven-week run starting on July 31^st and ending on September 21^st.  So book your trip now.

This made me look something up.  I remembered George Clooney announcing that he would be making his Broadway debut in a play adaptation of his film Good Night and Good Luck.  I wondered what ever happened to that.  Well, turns out the show is opening on April 3^rd at the Winter Garden Theatre.  His Edward R. Murrow will allegedly only run for two months.  But something tells me that could be extended.

Last week, Joy Behar debuted her latest oeuvre, My First Ex-Husband (the title was the idea of Behar’s second husband), based on discussions she had with dozens of divorced women.  She distilled their stories into eight monologues – delivered onstage by four women in black.  It’s a performance style that has worked well for shows like The Vagina Monologues and Love, Loss and What I Wore.  Similarly, her cast will rotate every four weeks.  The opening night company featured Behar alongside bestie Susie Essman, Tovah Feldshuh and Adrienne C. Moore.  The next cast will kick off February 26^th and includes some of our favorites – Susan Lucci, Judy Gold, Cathy Moriarty and Tonya Pinkins.  It plays at the MMAC Theatre in NYC.

Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson have signed with Apple TV+ for an “untitled brothers comedy series”.  The show is a fictionalized version of their lives – they are playing McConaughey and Harrelson as if they were brothers.  But it’s the next name which caught my eye.  The fabulous Holland Taylor will play Matthew’s mother, “Ma Mac”.  If they’re looking for a title, might I suggest, Two and a Half Bosom Buddies?