We never get tired of saying Cher was right.  She often is.  She knew her son Elijah Blue Allman was headed down a bad path.  She was willing to piss him off and become his conservator.  She worried that money from his trust fund would be “immediately spent on drugs”.  Elijah said, “I recently passed a drug test and am willing to submit to future drug tests.  I am clean and sober from illicit substances…and am fully capable of and committed to managing the money I receive quarterly from the trust left by my late father.”  The judge ruled in his favor, saying there was “insufficient evidence”.  Perhaps the court would like to revisit this case.  Last month, Elijah was hospitalized by the police for acting “erratically”.  “Deputies located drugs inside the home and Allman was transported to the hospital.”  What will Cher do next?  Perhaps slap him and tell him to snap out of it!

You may have heard that the legendary Beck’s Motor Lodge in San Francisco will shut down at the end of 2025.  I’m told that many developers have attempted to buy the property, but no deal has been signed.  Didya know it’s a family business?  In 1958, Bill and Frances Beck opened up the establishment for truckers needing a place to stay in the Castro area (which is a whole other story).  Rooms were $5 a night.  The couple’s son Eddie was often seen sweeping the parking lot (which I believe is not a euphemism).  In 2010, Eddie’s daughter Brittney took over the day-to-day operations, oversaw a renovation, and has worked hard to keep the hotel current.

On the one-year anniversary of his death, Richard Simmons’ longtime partner has broken her silence.  Yes, I said her – because the partner in question is Teresa Reveles, his housekeeper.  In describing their relationship, Richard often said, “It’s almost like we’re a married couple.”  In an interview with Today, Teresa claims she was the only relationship that mattered in Richard’s life.  “He never loved anyone like me.  He was my lover – not sexually, but he kissed me all the time.”  Simmons’ estate in the Hollywood Hills just went on the market for $7 million.

When Richard Simmons’ longtime partner is a woman, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  Talk about sweatin’ to the oldies!  For fresher fare, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that will make you feel the burn.  We ran so long, we didn’t even have time for an Ask Billy question.  But, rest assured I personally respond to each and every query I receive.  Keep your letters coming to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we find out if Cena’s junk is a jackpot!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Our next story is two-fold.  In fold number one, Netflix announced that the upcoming season 10 of Queer Eye will be the last.  Many are surprised at the cancellation since the show has received over 10 Emmys.  Those same people also whisper that the departure of Bobby Berk and the addition of Jeremiah Brent-Berkus put the nail in the coffin.  This leads to the second fold.  Berk has denied that he’d make a special appearance on the final season.  But he did announce his return to television.  He just signed a deal with HGTV to host Junk or Jackpot? – a show where people bring various items to be valued by experts.  Interestingly enough, the executive producer of this show will be John Cena – the same guy who showed off his junk on the Oscars.

ABC just signed a deal for a reboot of Scrubs.  The sitcom may have gone off the air in 2010, but co-stars Zach Braff and Donald Faison have continued their bromance in a series of commercials and other endeavors.  Joining them will be Sarah Chalke, who was also part of the Roseanne reboot – at least initially (like Roseanne herself).

Another spinoff from The Big Bang Theory just got the green light.  HBO has committed to Stuart Fails to Save the Universe, which will follow Kevin Sussman, the owner of the comic book shop.  He’ll be joined by Lauren Lapkus (his girlfriend), Brian Posehn (geologist Bert) and John Ross Bowie (Kripke), who were also recurring characters on BBT.   There is also talk Sheldon and Leonard could pop in occasionally.

Proving that there are no new ideas in Hollywood, the long-gestating Practical Magic 2 will begin shooting the beginning of 2026 with Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock.  They will be joined by PM1 cast members Dianne Wiest and Stockard Channing, alongside Joey King and Lee Pace.

Rumors of the impending demise of the divine Miriam Margolyes have been vastly exaggerated – at least according to the great lady herself.  She posted the following message: “Hello, everyone.  It’s Miriam Margolyes here.  I wanted to share a couple of things with you.  First of all, you might have seen on the internet and in a few papers something a few knobheads wrote – that I was at death’s door.  Bollocks!  I’m very much alive and raring to go to the Edinburgh Fringe this year doing my show, Margolyes and Dickens: More Best Bits.  6 o’clock every night.  Oh my goodness, you’ll have a good time.  And then, after a little bit of Dickens, there’s a lot of Miriam Margolyes.  I’ll tell you anything you like.  Ask any questions from the audience.  My heart, my life, and my legs are open to all of you – it’s a promise!  I had such a good time last year – sold every seat.  So I hope I can count on you coming this year and making it a night to remember.  All my best.  Ta Ra!”  If you’re in the neighborhood, she’ll be appearing nightly August 8-23, and those hot tickets can be grabbed at EdFringe.com.

Speaking of the UK, didya know London Pride was celebrated on July 5^th?  They’re always a little slower than us…must be all the inbreeding.  A video circulated of the military band outside of Buckingham Palace playing Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club” – which sounds better by a brass band than you’d think!  While no royals were present, we are told that all selections played by the military band must be approved by Chuckie.

“Yes she increased her whoring, remembering the days
of her youth when she played the whore in the land
of Egypt and lusted after her lovers there,
whose members were like those of donkeys
and whose issue was like that of horses.”
– I’d like this Biblical passage read at my funeral.  I’d also like my ashes scattered in
Egypt after transporting them by donkey.  What can I say?  I’d like one last ride.

Since we’re in a religious mood, let’s start with news from Vatican City.  Last week, a story circulated that Pope Leo would put the kibosh on priests blessing same-sex couples.  While the Catholic Church does not formally embrace such unions, Pope Francis not only blessed such gay couples, he also welcomed them into the church (much like Christians were encouraged to pet the lions in the Colosseum).  Vatican spokesperson Cardinal Victor Manuel Fernandez recently did an interview with Il Messaggero (which, for those of you not possessing a foreign tongue, means The Messenger).  When asked if the blessing policy which Franny initiated in 2023 would be reversed, Victor said, “I really don’t think so – the declaration will remain.”  Of course, he said it in Italian.

In the latest governmental folly, El Presidente is threatening to revoke Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship!  On his social media site, Trump wrote, “Because of the fact that Rosie O’Donnell is not in the best interests of our Great Country, I am giving serious consideration to taking away her Citizenship.  She is a Threat to Humanity, and should remain in the wonderful Country of Ireland, if they want her.”  While I’d typically scoff and call it ludicrous, stranger things have happened,  Sure, it’s beyond his power…for now.  Rosie wasn’t one to take this lying down.  “the potus ladies n gentlemen is a disgrace to all our beautiful country stands for- he is a danger to the nation – a mentally ill untreated criminal who lied to America for a decade on the apprentice – thanks mark burnett – and u fell for it – its so tragic – had u grown up in Ny – as I did and he did – you too would know what a total fool he is – add me to the list of people who oppose him at every turn – its now or never America us – my little posts from dublin upset him – go arrest a few brown people u truly evil man child.”

Back in 2021, some guy driving a pickup truck vandalized the rainbow crosswalk in Delray Beach, Florida on Donald Trump’s birthday.  I was reminded of this story when I read that Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy wants a nationwide ban on all rainbow crosswalks.  He claims his intent is to make intersections safe from “distractions”.  He also stated that “roads are for safety, not political messages or artwork.”  You may recall that Sean is an alum of The Real World, as is his spousal equivalent, Rachel Campos, who first came to our attention as a dear friend of Pedro Zamora (I believe she also banged Puck, but that’s another story).

Since we’re discussing the UK (perfect for our post-Fourth of July column), we got the following Ask Billy question from Randy in London: “What do you think about the controversy regarding Dermot O’Leary’s bulge?”

Dermot O’Leary is a popular British presenter and formerly hosted The X Factor.  Once on Loose Women (a rip-off of The View), he was asked what he wore to bed.  “Normally I’m a commando guy, but the last couple of weeks or so it’s been so cold, I’ve got a nice little pair of lounge pants and a loose-fitting T-shirt”.  You’ll note he didn’t mention any undies, which brings us to the latest story.  After hosting This Morning last week, the network got complaints from viewers who claimed they were seeing a bit too much of Dermot.  They were divided regarding his choice of underwear.  A large portion thought along these lines: “Dermot has definitely got Y-front/briefs on to get a bulge like that,” said one, while another said, “Very risky with such loose clothing.”  On the other side, the comments were more like this: “Does Dermot not wear underwear?  Lord, it’s flapping about like a windsock,” and “OMG!  Is Dermot O’Leary not wearing any underwear today?  Something doesn’t look right.”  Looks perfectly fine to me, but you can decide for yourself when you see him on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re picturing Luke and Zane going the distance…together, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Talk about fast and furious!  I think This Morning should do a special spot promoting Hercules.  That way, Dermot and Luke can discuss undergarments.  To see your favorites in and out of undies, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that never fakes it.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Babs is CGIed into the next Fockers flick!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Last month, a live stage musical based on Disney’s animated feature Hercules began previews at London’s Drury Lane Theatre.  Advanced word has been mixed, but certainly the titular Hercules does not disappoint.  In fact, his titulars are in full view for most of the evening in costumes that appear to have come out of a vintage International Male catalogue.  I am certainly the last one to say anything against a white mesh tank top.  But I’m just not sure it has anything to do with Ancient Greece, or even the musical Grease.  Actor Luke Brady looks good in what little garb he’s wearing, but his preening and likeable smile seem straight out of an audition for a Pepsodent commercial!  Still, he can sing, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

I can’t help but think the producers missed the boat when it came to casting.  Sexy Zane Phillips has actually coveted the role and was hoping to get a call.  “I would love to do it.  It’s so funny like, I have a musical theater background.  I’ve sung that song in a weird, random cabaret before.  Yeah, I love that movie.”  Needless to say, the song he’s talking about is “Go the Distance”, and because we know you’ll ask, you can see (and hear) Zane tackle the little ditty on BillyMasters.com.

Since I’m a creature of habit, I took a quick drive down to Provincetown to see Varla Jean Merman’s latest offering, The Drowsy Chappell Roan.  Fans of last year’s Errors Tour will be tickled to find Varla has moved on from Taylor to seamlessly shaft a slew of sappy singers – from Chappell to people like Sabrina Carpenter, Billie Eilish, Dua Lipa, Miley Cyrus, and even Trudie Styler (Mrs. Sting to you).  Trust me, nobody is spared – including R. Kelly, P. Diddy, and even people with two full names!  The parodies are as sharp as ever, and the visuals are outstanding.  The secret weapon?  No, not Varla’s dog Jasper.  It’s Merman’s long-suffering assistant, Brian, who manages to top himself – a skill much in demand in Provincetown.  What is a Varla show without a touching ending – and this one touched me in a very special place…or was that the waiter.  It’s a fast, frolicking, rip-roaring show with some outrageous costumes, clever insights, and a whole lotta laughs.  She’ll be at The Crown and Anchor (OnlyAtTheCrown.com) through September 20^th. And then, she hits the road!

Speaking of touring, the Jonas Brothers planned their large-scale Greetings From Your Hometown tour for this summer and fall.  But demand hasn’t exactly been what they anticipated, which led to some of the venues being…well, “downsized”.  The show at LA’s Dodger Stadium will now take place at the Intuit Dome in Inglewood.  The Philly show at Citizens Bank Park will now take place at the Freedom Mortgage Pavilion.  Chicago’s Wrigley Field has moved to Tinley Park’s Credit Union 1 Amphitheatre.  And the DC show at Nationals Park will now slide into Jiffy Lube Live.  Sometimes you can’t go home again.

Last week, the new production of Evita opened in London.  And, as long as you don’t mind seeing the hit song sung on a video screen, I suppose it’s fine.  You’d be forgiven if you thought this was a rehash of Sunset Blvd – no sets, leads in underwear and blood.  It just screams Nicole Scherzinger.  Once Scherzy wraps up on Broadway, she’s taking her show on the road – her solo show, that is.  While details are as scant as her outfits, we know a few details.  We already announced she’s playing Carnegie Hall on October 8^th at 8PM (something tells me there could be a midnight “adult-only” show).  Typically, performers like to try out their material out of town.  So Nicole will run through the show on October 6^th…at the Royal Albert Hall in London!  Then she hits Disney Hall in Los Angeles on October 30^th.  We’re told talk of a Vegas residency is ongoing.

“We’re so alike.  Neither of us is that attractive.”
– Barbara Walters’ comment to Katie Couric, as revealed in the
Hulu documentary, Barbara Walters – Tell Me Everything.

Lies, Lies, Lies.  No, this doesn’t have anything to do with that bill (which sullies the name of Bill for us all).  It’s not even political.  It’s about those nefarious folks who run CVS.  Sure, it’s great to pick up a prescription allegedly 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – in theory.  But when I showed up at one such branch to pick up some medication for my ailing father, do you know what I was told?  “Come back in a half hour – we always close the pharmacy for lunch!”  So, I looked on Google, on their app, even on the sign at the desk.  You know what it didn’t say?  Closed for lunch!  It said 24/7, not 23.5 hours a day.  In fact, the app said, “Open Now”.  LIARS!

A dear friend claims that Meryl Streep has what he called a “Golden Rule” – she doesn’t do sequels.  But has she actually ever said that?  Because I can’t find any evidence of it.  She did say she isn’t particularly interested in sequels because she likes to create new characters.  That was clearly before she did the Mamma Mia! sequel.  In that instance, she claims to have done it because she loved the people and “it was so much fun”.  Maybe that’s why she’s filming The Devil Wears Prada 2.  Shooting began last week in New York.  We hear that Miranda needs ad revenue for the flailing Runway, and Emily is now heading a luxury ad agency.  Will Andy help broker a deal?  How is Miranda’s latest marriage to Kenneth Branagh?  And who exactly is Nigel sleeping with?  Stay tuned.

Proving anything is possible, Vin Diesel claims that the next Fast and the Furious flick will not only be the last in the franchise, it will also star Paul Walker!  Paul Walker, who died in 2013 (at the peak of his gorgeousness)?  We’re told he’ll come back courtesy of CGI.  If that’s the case, CGI me in the audience, ‘cause I’m not going.

We’ve all heard there will be another Fockers flick – but don’t count on Barbra showing up.  While she’s amused that Ariana Grande has been cast, Streisand was pretty blunt when asked about it by the convalescing Marc Malkin: “They’d have to pay me a lot of money because I didn’t get paid what the other people got paid and so I’m pissed off.  I was in the time when women were getting paid less than the men.  The head of Universal was Ron Meyer at the time, and he actually sent me a bonus check.  It was very sweet.”  I find it hard to believe Blythe got more than Barbra!

Here’s a reunion with a twist – literally.  Michelle Williams and Mike Faist have been cast in an off-Broadway revival of Anna Christie.  Now, follow this connection.  Michelle Williams was in Brokeback Mountain with husband Heath Ledger.  Heath’s love interest was played by Jake Gyllenhaal.  When Brokeback was mounted (so to speak) as a play in London, Jake’s role of Jack Twist was played by…Mike Faist!  Bing, bang, boom, Michelle’s latest love interest is the love interest of her deceased husband.  Kinda…

This week’s Ask Billy question is a fitting end to Pride Month.  Victor in Chicago says, “I just watched Enigma.  Didn’t you mention you were friends with April Ashley?  Do you know Amanda Lear too?”

Let me explain this for those of you who had enough trouble following that soap item.  Enigma is a documentary by Zackary Drucker, who is a transsexual woman and apparently a documentary filmmaker.  The doc focuses on April Ashley and Amanda Lear.  While most people know Lear as kinda a singer and occasional model, Ashley is less known in this country.  April Ashley was one of the first (and certainly most notable) transsexuals in the UK.  She became a high-profile fashion model, a Vogue cover girl, and even an actress (she appears in The Road to Hong Kong with Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and Joan Collins).  She married Lord Arthur Corbett, who occasionally liked to dress up in drag.  When she asked for a divorce, he asked for an annulment, claiming that since she was born a man, the marriage was invalid.  The court agreed, and April didn’t get a cent.

From that point on, April was open about her entire story – which included working at the infamous Le Carrousel club in Paris.  At that time, she claimed to have been very close to a young Amanda Lear, who was then known as Peki d’Oslo.  However, Lear has always vehemently denied these claims – despite photographic evidence to the contrary.  There’s even a police report which lists the two names as belonging to the same person.  Drucker did extensive interviews with Lear and did everything possible to try and cajole her into coming clean.  Lear laconically continued to deny the claims.  When told of Ashley’s allegations, she calls her “a drunk”.  Drucker also tracked down several of the surviving Carrousel girls, who share their memories and weigh in on the controversy (most side with Ashley).  Enigma is running on HBO and is worth checking out.

When Amanda Lear is relevant, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I should mention I first met April Ashley at the 1988 Academy Awards.  Cher may have won, but when I saw this striking, elegant woman across the room, I knew I had to meet her.  My opening line was that she reminded me of Vivien Leigh.  “I do hope you mean when she was still alive,” said April.  That’s my kinda lady!  At one point, a biopic of her life was going to be made starring Catherine Zeta Douglas Spartacus Jones – talk about perfect casting.  If it ever happens, you’ll certainly read about it on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that always gives it to you straight.  Should you need anything else from me, send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Kevin Spacey actually makes that comeback – perhaps on The Comeback!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Kevin Spacey is once again on the comeback trail, and has “forgiven those who rushed to judgment”.  And if there’s one thing missing from my life, it’s Spacey’s forgiveness.  Now I can sleep soundly!  He made his remarks at the Italian Global Series Festival, where he also said he’s “incredibly excited about going back to work in a substantial way.”  I’m also excited about sleeping with Brad Pitt – but it doesn’t mean that it’s happening. 

Jussie Smollett is back in the news.  Blasted all over social media are photos of Smollett getting down on his knees – which certainly doesn’t surprise moi!  He’s doing it in front of someone identified as his boyfriend, Jabari Redd (no relation to Sharon Redd or, presumably, Redd Foxx).  The caption said, “I’ll be spending my birthday with my Fiancé…He said YES!”.  While I wish them the best, the word “prenup” springs to mind.

You know who else is coming back?  Lisa Kudrow…or rather her character Valerie Cherish.  Yes, HBO is bringing back The Comeback for what is being billed as its “third and final season”.  For those of you keeping track, season one aired in 2005.  Season two popped up in 2014.  And season three is due in 2026.  It’s like America’s version of Absolutely Fabulous.  When you least expect it, BOOM, it’s back!

As Heidi used to say, “In fashion, one day you’re in.  The next day, you’re out”.  And the fashion industry’s leading player is out – allegedly of her own accord.  Anna Wintour has announced that she is going to “step aside” as editor of Vogue.  But everyone is quick to mention she will continue as Chief Content Officer for Condé Nast – which sounds like one of those jobs where you get a check to stay home (my ideal job).

I’m going to preface this next story by saying there is no gay angle…that I know of.  But it does involve two or three really hot men.  If you’re watching The Young and the Restless, you know that the show has been building up to reveal the identity of mysterious mogul Aristotle Dumas.  All of a sudden, out pops someone I’ve never seen before in my life.  And Lily says, “Cane?”.  And I’m asking, “Cane?”.  Because Cane was played by another of my pals, the delicious Daniel Goddard – who was Dar in television’s Beastmaster.  But Daniel is currently on General Hospital, so I guess he couldn’t reprise the role of Cane.  So in walks Billy Flynn – not the character from Chicago, but a soap actor who previously played Chad on Days of Our Lives.  And one of his first scenes on Y&R was with Conner Floyd, who plays Chance.  The next day, it’s announced that Floyd just got a new role – to play Chad on DOOL!  What will happen to Chance?  I’m not at liberty to say anything other than…stay tuned!

You know who didn’t perform for the gays?  JoJo Siwa.  Should you think my dismissive attitude has anything to do with her fluid sexuality, you’re mistaken – I never liked her.  JoJo was scheduled to appear at Chicago Pride on June 29^th.  A week in advance, the Back Lot Bash announced on its website that Siwa would not be appearing, due to a “scheduling conflict”.  Said “conflict” coincided with an interview in which she revealed she was never actually a lesbian.  “When I came out at 17, I said, ‘I’m pansexual because I don’t care [about gender]’.  But then I kinda boxed myself in and I said, ‘I’m a lesbian’.  And I think I did that because of pressure.”  Couldn’t she have waited until Pride Month was over to make that revelation?

Last week, several Democratic Senators held a private event at the Justice Forum at the Kennedy Center.  Those senators were John Hickenlooper, Tammy Baldwin, Jacky Rosen, Brian Schatz and Elizabeth Warren (who was almost my neighbor…but that’s another story).  They hired the producer of Hamilton to put together a show called Love Is Love, which featured John Cameron Mitchell and the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington DC.  You’ll recall that the chorus had cancelled performances at the Kennedy Center.  Hickenlooper posted the following on Instagram: “Today we hosted a Pride celebration at the Kennedy Center… The LGBTQ+ community has long embodied resilience, maintaining joy and creativity in the face of adversity.  It’s what America and the arts are all about.  This is about standing up for freedom.  It’s about standing up for self-expression.  At the core of it all, it’s about standing up for love.”

Have you heard that Caesars Palace is trying to open a casino in the middle of Times Square?  Because that’s what the most congested place in the USA needs.  However, it’s hard for me to bash the idea when they’ve pledged $5 million to support a local LGBTQ+ health center.  Plus you know how the gays love to shove things into slots…

“It can be stressful for a 19-year-old heterosexual boy
to sit in a room and give another man a blowjob.”
– Joshua Jackson discusses his first day on the set of Cruel Intentions.

You know Pride Month is coming to an end when Broadway Bares takes place in NYC.  This annual shindig is a kinda burlesque show where (mostly) Broadway stars get to appear in various forms of undress and strut their stuff.  It was started in 1992 by a group of dancers who wanted to raise funds for the fight against AIDS.  One of those dancers, the multi-hyphenate Jerry Mitchell, has worked each year to top himself – good work if you can get it!  This year’s edition raised a record-breaking $2,447,967 for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.  For the eighth year in a row, the bulk of those funds were raised by our pal Mark MacKillop – who brought in an outstanding $277,500.  To put that into perspective, the runner-up was Jennifer Geller, who brought in $52,607.  I will remind everyone that despite these impressive numbers, Mr. MacKillop is still not “Broadway’s own”, as no producer has been bright enough to cast him on the Great White Way.

This year’s show was subtitled “Come Out, Come Out” and had a Wizard of Oz theme.  Rather than Dorothy, their lead was Dante (played by Bradley Gibson from The Lion King).  There were a number of special guests, including Todrick Hall, Alex Newell, and even Nicole Scherzinger, who dashed over from the set of Sunset Blvd to join her dancers for a performance of the Pussycat Dolls’ “Buttons”.  Videos can be found on BillyMasters.com.

Our Ask Billy question come from Linda in Maine: “I remember a while ago you wrote about seeing a production of Gypsy with a Mama Rose who wasn’t white.  But everyone says Audra is the first.  Am I crazy?”

You may be – I’m no doctor.  But you are also correct.  Audra is not the first woman of color to play Mama Rose.  She is, however, the first to do so on Broadway.  You’re obviously a longtime reader because Leslie Uggams played the role at the Connecticut Repertory Theatre in 2014.  Uggams has also been the lead in Hello, Dolly!, Anything Goes, Cabaret, Mame, and even Master Class – a play also based on a real-life Caucasian woman (Maria Callas).  Should you be curious, footage of Uggams in Gypsy can be found on BillyMasters.com.

When the Big Bad Wolf is staying put in the pokey, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  It’s also a good time to let Tyler Perry know that this writer is not only available, but loves pizza and biscuits!  That said, I’m not what one would call discreet, as you’ll see on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that makes for good bedtime reading!  If you have a question for me, send it to Billy@BillyMasters.com (along with roses of assorted colors) and I promise to get back to you before I give anyone a refund.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

After two heavy subjects, let’s turn to youth suicide.  OK, certainly not a lighter subject.  Over these many decades, I’ve written about the work done by The Trevor Project – the suicide prevention hotline specifically focusing on LGBTQ+ youths.  I was unaware of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.  You know how you can call 911 in case of an emergency?  Well, apparently you can call 988 if you’re having suicidal thoughts or concerns for someone else.  And if you press 3, you would be connected to someone specifically catering to LGBTQI+ people under 25…until July 17^th.  The hotline, which is funded by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), is a subsidiary of the US Health and Human Services Agency (HHS).  They have determined that there’s no need to specifically “silo LGB+ youth services” – note that the government took the “T” out (they also took out the “Q”, the “I”, and any other letters that follow).  They claim this is to “focus on serving all help seekers, including those previously served through the Press 3 option”.  They also say, “Anyone who calls the Lifeline will continue to receive compassion and help.”  That remains to be seen.  Critics claim the exclusion of the “T” only underscores the administration’s attempt to erase the trans community.  Trevor Project CEO Jaymes Black said, “Suicide prevention is about people, not politics.”  They will continue to be available to those in need.

While Wolf was in court, Tyler Perry was slapped with a $260 million lawsuit by actor Derek Dixon, who had the role of gay store clerk in The Oval.  According to the lawsuit, “Mr. Perry took his success and power and used his considerable influence in the entertainment industry to create a coercive, sexually exploitative dynamic with Mr. Dixon – initially promising him career advancement and creative opportunities, such as producing his pilot and casting him in his show, only to subject him to escalating sexual harassment, assault and battery, and professional retaliation when Mr. Dixon did not reciprocate Mr. Perry’s unwanted advances.”  According to Dixon, he met Tyler while working at a party in 2019.  Perry asked if he was an actor, and they exchanged numbers.  There were quite a few texts (which Dixon has saved), and Tyler eventually gave him a role in the series Ruthless.  A month later, he gave Dixon a new car, allegedly because Tyler didn’t like Dixon’s Jeep!  At no point did Dixon sense any quid pro quo.  But he claims that Perry said his ideal relationship would be a male who he could provide for, who would be loyal, but emotionally detached.  “Whoever ends up with me is gonna be a happy motherfucker.”  Where do I apply?

A few months later, Derek was at Tyler’s for dinner.  They drank a bit too much, so Perry suggested Derek spend the night in a guest room.  Here is the lawsuit’s account of what happened: “Dixon was tired and did not have pajamas and so he got into bed only wearing underwear.  Before he knew what was happening, Dixon felt someone else slip into bed behind him and start rubbing Dixon’s body around his inner thigh in a highly sexual and suggestive manner.  Dixon turned around and saw that Tyler Perry was in bed with him.”  Derek allegedly told Tyler he wasn’t really into sex and left quickly the next morning.  Shortly thereafter, he got this text from Tyler: “I would hope you would let some one hold you and make love to you.  You are missing the best years of your life my friend.  Trust me.  I hope you get past that block in your mind soon.”  Dixon told Tyler he was a devout Christian.  Tyler responded, “What’s it going to take for you to have guiltless sex?”  Buddhism was mentioned as an option.

Shortly thereafter, Derek’s role transitioned to Perry’s other series, The Oval.  Around that time, Tyler asked if Derek was a top or a bottom.  Dixon doesn’t reveal his response, but claims Perry said he was a top.  “When you have a big dick and when you hit the G-spot right on these bottoms, they go crazy.”  Around his birthday, Perry said that all he wanted was “Biscuits and BJ’s”, but all he ever got was “Biscuits” (which sounds good to me).

Derek pitched a pilot he wanted to shoot and Perry showed interest – and asked him to come to his house.  They discussed the show over numerous alcoholic beverages.  Derek tried to leave, but Perry wanted to show him a weight monitor he had.  He instructed Derek to strip to his underwear to try it, which he did.  Perry then allegedly pulled down Derek’s underwear and slapped his buttocks.  According to Derek, he protested but Tyler said, “Relax…just let it happen.”  The lawsuit describes the scene: “Dixon was naked, and being groped by a large, drunk, and sexually frustrated 6’5” man who had Dixon in his clutches.”  And then he came up with an idea – he told Perry he “couldn’t do anything sexual because he was so hungry.”  So Tyler ordered a pizza – probably Domino’s, because it would be there in 30 mins or less!  Dixon then locked himself in the guest bathroom.  The next day, Perry apologized for his actions and blamed it on the alcohol.

After more harassing calls and texts, Dixon started to believe Tyler was promising to produce his pilot in order to let the statute of limitations run out.  He reported the situation to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, and also said he would not return to The Oval – a decision he says cost him close to $400K.  Dixon claims Tyler told him he’d be in breach of contract if he told people why he quit.  Dixon claims to be coming forward to help other people, and claims that Perry “has been using his power and influence to molest, abuse, and sexually assault impressionable and vulnerable employees and actors who look to him for guidance and mentorship while pursuing their dreams.”  How conveniently he forgets about the car, the jobs, and the pizza!

Just as we were closing in on the one-year anniversary of his arrest, Austin Wolf finally appeared in court for his preliminary hearing.  As you’ll undoubtedly recall, the Feds raided the gay porn superstar’s home on June 28, 2024 and arrested him for sending and receiving hundreds of child pornography videos.  People kept asking for updates.  Curiously, the preliminary hearing kept getting delayed in one-month increments…until last week.  Wolf (real name: Justin Heath Smith) was on one side of the courtroom.  The Assistant District Attorney was on the other.  The charges were read, which included interstate commerce, enticing a minor to engage in activity in the facility of another individual, and oral sex with an individual younger than 17 years old.  And then, Wolf pled guilty!

However, he made no mention of the child pornography.  “In late 2023 or early 2024, I induced a 15-year-old to engage in a sex act, I don’t remember through text or [social media], but phones were definitely used.  I know what I was doing was wrong.  I apologize.  I knew it was wrong when I did it.  I don’t blame anyone else for my conduct.  It was another person engaging in the conduct.  I take full 100 percent responsibility for my actions and I am prepared for the consequence,” said Wolf in what sounds like a very carefully crafted statement.  We’re told the child pornography charges will be dropped in light of his admission of guilt to the more serious crime.  The minimum mandatory charge is 10 years in prison.  He will be sentenced on September 9^th.

In a curious codicil to this story, one unknown man was in the courtroom.  After the hearing, he identified himself as a “former fan” of Austin Wolf.  “I wish I could get a refund on all the money I spent on his videos.”

Lucie Arnaz Jr. proved that you can go home again.  She recently took part in a fundraiser at Paramount Pictures called Lucie on the Lot that celebrated the 75^th anniversary of Desilu.  There was a screening of her 1993 Emmy-winning documentary, Lucy & Desi: A Home Movie, a Q&A, a meet-and-greet, and a cocktail party.  This was all done to help Raji Ahsan raise money to finish production on his short film, Dr. Sam (Lucie plays his mom).  Also at the event was Keith Thibodeaux, who played Little Ricky on I Love Lucy.  During the Q&A, Lucie shared her real feelings about Aaron Sorkin’s 2021 film Being the Ricardos.  You’ll recall at the time LL called it “freakin’ amazing”.  With the passage of time comes the loosening of lips.  “I was involved, and I tried to work on it and correct the incorrect parts…but, you know, you can’t talk to Aaron.  He’s Aaron Sorkin.”  She added that after she’d present her ideas, he’d dismissively say, “Well, what do you know?  You were 15 months old.”  Even Thibodeaux was perplexed.  “It’s well done and all that, but I just didn’t get it.”

Our Ask Billy question comes from Joshua in San Francisco: “I heard Michael Sam has a new boyfriend.  Who is it and what ever happened to his fiancé, Vito?”

God bless my readers.  I completely forgot that Michael (former defensive lineman in the NFL) got down on his knees for Vito Cammisano.  And do you know why?  Because that happened in 2015!  Look, I’m lucky I know the names of most guys I slept with last week (it all gets blurry into double digits).  FYI, Vito is now a realtor in Dallas – should you be interested in obtaining something with hardwood!  As for Sam, he’s recently been linked with professional figure skater, Colin Grafton, who has appeared on the UK show Dancing on Ice.  Colin (a Boston native) is quite fit and enjoys showing some skin on social media.  But he seems to have a whole Melissa Joan Hart thing happening around his eyes.  Or perhaps it’s those Joan Collins eyebrows.  Anyway, the twosome has not gone public in any way.  In fact, there aren’t even photos of them together.  But according to reliable “sources” (whoever they are), the two are “casually dating”.  Like me and those 11 guys last week – doesn’t get more casual than that (but at least we have video footage)!  To check out Michael and Colin (separately), head over to BillyMasters.com. 

When a football player is doing a figure skater, and I’m doing a football team, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  It’s all about stamina…and staying hydrated.  And you better do both before you check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s hot and steamy.  If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Nicole and Cole kiss and make up.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Speaking of road shows, Les Misérables just opened at The Kennedy Center.  Interviewed on the red carpet opening night, Donald Trump expressed his love for the show – although he displayed a shocking lack of knowledge of the plot.  When asked if he related more to Javert or Jean Valjean, he looked like someone asked him to multiply 3 times 9.  “Oh, that’s a tough one – the last part of that question.  That’s tough.  I think you better answer that one, honey – I dunno.”  Yes, he just tossed Melania under the bus.  Her response?  She just gave that perplexed look and shrug, as if to say, “My English is not so good-looking!”  Plus, she had earlier stated her favorite show is Phantom of the Opera (El Presidente is more partial to Cats).  Anyway, TACO and Melanie looked like Rhodes Scholars next to JD Vance, who posted the following: “About to see Les Misérables with POTUS at the Kennedy Center.  Me to Usha: so what’s this about?  A barber who kills people?  Usha: (hysterical laugher)”.  Oh, that wacky Second Family!

Both the Trumps and the Vances were upstaged by four other people in the audience – drag queens!  And the gals had prime orchestra seats (dare I say better than the president).  Those seats were provided by Qommittee – which is a nonprofit network of drag queens fighting hate and censorship.  Here’s a fun fact – the seats were donated by season ticket holders who wanted the drag queens there when Trump and Vance were in attendance.  The queens in question were Tara Hoot, Mari Con Carne, Ricky Rosé, and Vangenesis – who quipped when El Presidente arrived, “He’s wearing more makeup than me!”  They did have some concern about going in, but added, “I think we brightened the audience as much as we possibly could.  We had so many kind words and people come up to us tonight.  It was just so delightful.”  Happy Pride!

For every Smash, there’s a Mamma Mia!, which apparently is the Dracula of musicals and cannot die.  It’s returning to the Broadway’s Winter Garden Theatre, where George Clooney’s Good Night, and Good Luck just broke every record in theatrical history.  We hear there could be a third Mamma Mia! movie being prepared for Sabrina Carpenter.  This begs the question – exactly when will they run out of ABBA songs?  I mean, is this film gonna be filled with B-side songs that nobody’s heard of?

Everyone has been asking me how George Clooney washed the grey back into his hair only hours after his matinee of Good Night, and Good Luck just hours prior to the Tonys.  He revealed to Seth Meyers that he’d been letting it grow out since the last full dye job in April and had very long grey roots, which they’d retouch for performances).  The moment the last show ended, he had a stylist on hand to trim his locks and return him to his salt and pepper ‘do.  By the way, he claims we haven’t seen the last of the show.  There are plans for a national tour and a London run.  Will George star in these endeavors?  Stay tuned.

“People are going to label you.  You have to be ready for that,
because it’s not going to be easy.  And I will be by your side 100%.”
– Gloria Estefan shares what she told her daughter Emily when she wanted to come out.

With the Tony Awards, we mark the end of Awards Season and also the beginning of Pride Month.  This is not happenstance – after all, nothing is gayer than the Tony Awards.  This year, Cole Escola was the first non-binary performer to win Best Leading Actor in a Play – beating poor George Clooney, who has said he didn’t think he had a chance.  What was the first thing Cole did after winning?  Throw some shade on Nicole Scherzinger – who he seemed to like during The Hollywood Reporter’s actors roundtable.  He was in the press room backstage when Nicole won her Tony for Best Leading Actress in a Musical – besting Audra McDonald.  And he quipped, “Wow, the speculating is over.  Four years.  Four more years.”  Most interpreted that as a reference to Scherzy liking a Russell Brand post where he was wearing a red cap with the words “Make Jesus First Again” in the MAGA style.  Cole clarified with a video: “When I made that joke…. I meant it like, well, she won, she’s who we’ve got for the next four years, as if I think winning Best Actress in a Musical is the same as winning a presidential election.  But, you know, people just want to pit us Broadway gals against each other.  And I think it’s sad.  I think it’s sad.”

Cynthia Erivo keeps going from strength to strength.  For instance, on the eve of the Tonys, was she home resting up for the big night?  Nope – she was in DC closing out the WorldPride concert!  Then she hosted the Tonys with her typical aplomb, including great opening and closing numbers (to say nothing of a stirring In Memoriam duet) and about a dozen frocks.  What’s next?  Well, I’ve already told you she’s starring in Jesus Christ Superstar this summer at the Hollywood Bowl…as Jesus!  Adam Lambert is Judas (I’ve always thought he’d make a fetching Mary Magdalene).  And she kicks off 2025 in London’s West End in a one-woman show, Dracula, where she plays 23 roles (shades of Dorian Gray).  It opens at the Noel Coward Theatre on February 4^th.

Near the beginning of the Tonys, Megan Hilty performed a number from “Death Becomes Her”.  And not just any number.  “For the Gaze” may be the gayest number to ever grace a Broadway musical, and Megan stopped the show in more ways than one.  Days later, she announced she’s stopping being in the show – at least temporarily.  “We are athletes.  And just like a professional basketball player, we are going to get injured from time to time – not because we aren’t good at our job, it simply comes with the territory because of the extraordinary demands we put on our bodies.  Thank you for your patience and support while I take this time to take care of myself to ensure my longevity with the show and my career, in general.”  Prior to announcing her month-long sabbatical, she revealed to The New York Times that she was diagnosed with tendonitis in her throat.

Of course, Megan starred in the TV show Smash.  While many readers of this column are fans of the short-lived series, apparently there weren’t enough fans to keep the Broadway musical open.  After receiving only two Tony nominations and no wins, it will shutter on June 22^nd.

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Steve in Las Vegas: “I just saw a photo of Jonathan Groff in head to toe leather.  He looked so hot!  What was that for?  Some role??”

When Groff went to Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter tour in New Jersey, he wanted to get into the swing of things with some…well, country regalia (if you’re in a country filled with gay men).  “It was cowboy theme, but also I wanted to feel a little gay,” he told Jimmy Fallon.  He was successful.  He had on black leather chaps over black hot pants, a black leather vest, and a black leather cowboy hat.  The outfit was provided by Go at The Leather Man on Christopher Street.  Groff called it “baby’s first chaps”.  When asked to explain, he said, “I’m the baby and those are my first chaps.”  So much to unpack.  First, when you are over 40, you cannot refer to yourself as a baby – except on Grindr!  When asked about the chaps, Jonathan said, “Oh my God, it’s my new fetish.  I learned so much about myself once I got into those chaps.  It’s the smell of the leather.”  Needless to say, you can check out Jonathan in and out of leather on BillyMasters.com. 

When we’re starting with Groff being wet and ending with him in leather, I think I better give him a hand and end yet another column.  If anything untoward happens, I’ll tell you all about it on www.BillyMasters.com – the site where I don’t have to watch what I say.  If you have a question for the uncensored moi, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Groff invests in a Chrysler Cordoba – with fine Corinthian leather!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

What is Whoopi Goldberg’s one-woman show without Goldberg?  It’s The Whoopi Monologues.  Lincoln Center’s off-Broadway stage will house The Whoopi Monologues next summer.  Rather than trying to find one woman to fill Whoopi’s shoes, the cast will include five women – including Kerry Washington and Kara Young. 

The current Broadway revival of David Mamet’s Glengarry Glen Ross has been extended through June 28^th.  It was widely rumored that when the current cast departs (which includes Kieran Culkin, Bob Odenkirk and Bill Burr), they would be replaced by an all-female cast.  While the idea of a female Glengarry has been kicking around for years, we hear Mamet has never signed off on it.

This column is being written before the Tony Awards are given out (except for the next paragraph, obviously).  We all know that Cole Escola has brilliantly brought his alternative history of Mary Todd Lincoln to the stage in Oh, Mary!.  Surely his return to the show on April 8^th was orchestrated to remind Tony voters not only of the play’s merits, but also his capabilities as a performer.  But once that’s all over, Titus Burgess will return to the role on June 23^rd for a six-week run.  That brings us to the end of July, which begs the question – who will be the next Mary?  After all, the show is slated to run through September.  I would hope producers learned something from the Betty Gilpin debacle and avoid casting a cis female.  But might I be so bold as to suggest someone like a Charles Busch?  Certainly he’d look fetching in the frocks!

As to the Tonys themselves, I thought Cynthia Erivo did a fantastic job hosting – and what an opening number!  But how hot was Radio City Music Hall?  Everyone looked like they were sweltering from from the start – particularly a hot guy on the aisle in the second row who looked like he was about to pass out!  As always, there were high points, there were low points.  A high point was Nicole Scherzinger, who was sweating and sensational.  But I was so hungry watching her, I had to hit pause and get something to eat.  I did make it back to see the Hamilton reunion, which was as relevant as ever.  There were also some awful moments…but why dwell on them?  Oprah didn’t mind going low with a not-so-subtle barb at Patti.  Despite basically anointing Audra, it was Nicole who came out on top.  Speaking of which, who would have ever expected to see Cole Escola top George Clooney?  And on live television!  Then he thanked a random guy from Grindr.  I bet George wouldn’t have done that.

Could it be that one of those celebrated performers has become completely insufferable?  Well, “become” is probably not the right word, because this person has always rubbed me the wrong way – despite obvious success.  I was watching one of those actors roundtables recently and this person dominated the proceedings, despite being surrounded by people far more accomplished and have clearly paid their dues for years.  Why is it that the least amongst us has the most to say?

US Navy Secretary John Phelan announced that the USNS Harvey Milk is going to be renamed.  Why?  According to a leaked memo, El Presidente wants to “reestablish the warrior culture.”  Is it just me, or is that the gayest thing you’ve ever heard?  Sean Penn, who played Harvey Milk onscreen, said, “I’ve never before seen a Secretary of Defense so aggressively demote himself to the rank of Chief PETTY Officer.”  OK, that was a good one!  The Navy also plans to rename such ships as the USNS Thurgood Marshall, the USNS Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the USNS Harriet Tubman.  I can kinda accept these changes.  After all, I don’t think many sailors want to go home and say, “I just spent six months on Ruth Bader Ginsburg!”  And don’t get me started on Tubman or Thurgood!

Perhaps because it’s Pride Month, I’ve come across lots of online posts titled “Were They Trans?”.  And they’ve about people like Katharine Hepburn, Greta Garbo, Amelia Earhart, Boy George, and even Benny Hill!   Not all tomboys want to be men, and not every fella in a frock wants to be female.  However, it is true that Hepburn did go through a trans-adjacent period.  She told Katie Couric, “I was called Jimmy, and I hated being a girl.  I really hated it.  I had three brothers, and I just shaved my head and thought, ‘I’m a boy.’”  What people skip is what she said next.  “Inside, I never felt like Jimmy.”  That’s why she wasn’t trans.  As to Earhart (who briefly lived in my hometown), her masculinity was more about her professional aspirations – goals that were distinctly unfeminine.  I hasten to add there is no truth to the clothes making the man.  But when a man is out of them, get out of my way!

For the past 20 years, many gay boys’ clothes undergarments were emblazoned with the name Andrew Christian.  Alas, that time is coming to an end.  Christian just announced he’s shutting down his atelier.  “After more than 25 years, my hands will soon lay down the needle that has guided me through this calling…I began this journey as a scared gay kid from Fresno with nothing but a sketchbook and a dream.  Fashion became my sanctuary – a place to exist, survive, and celebrate who we are.  Every stitch told a story, every collection a reflection of our collective journey.  As I retire, my heart is full of gratitude.  To every LGBTQ+ soul who let me dress their truth – thank you.  This isn’t the end, just a new beginning.  With love and pride.”

“Please welcome a man who makes everyone wet.”
– Cynthia Erivo introduces the very moist Jonathan Groff
during the Tony Awards.  I think Keanu would agree.

Rather than a typical Ask Billy segment, I’m gonna take issue with People Magazine.  Talk about the ol’ bait-and-switch.  The reputable rag just ran this headline – “ABC’s David Muir Pulls Back the Curtain on His Life Off Camera and How He Feels About His ‘Daddy’ Status”.  Well, you all know what we’re expecting – the big, inevitable coming-out interview.  Even the subheadline teased it: “Viewers know Muir as the most-watched anchor in America, but now he’s opening up to People about the side fans don’t often see.”  Now, I am far from naïve.  I didn’t take their promise literally.  I assumed we weren’t gonna get a photo of him in a jock strap.  And I was surely not expecting stories about slings or butt plugs.  He’s not Stephen Sondheim!  I didn’t even expect him to express his unrequited love for Rob Marciano!  But I still clicked on the story.  And the accompanying photo did include a dog collar – around the neck of David’s dog!  Meanwhile, David’s lips were so clenched, I got lockjaw.

I think our collective disappointment was best summed up in an e-mail from Art in Seattle: “This article doesn’t mention anything except he loves his dog and they sat around looking for a beaver (I kid you not).” 

When we’re waiting for Muir to be anywhere near a beaver, we better get comfortable and end yet another column.  I was thinking about the similarity between Patti LuPone and Kathy Griffin.  Both are big-mouthed broads (in the best sense of the term) who say it like it is.  They’re awfully popular when things are going well.  But when they inevitable step in it, their “friends” seem to scatter.  Well, you won’t find that on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is loyal to a fault!  And if you find fault with that, send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before my flying companions discover Izora wasn’t an island on our flight path.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Since it’s Pride Month, Laverne Cox and Reneé Rapp have been named Grand Marshals of the WorldPride DC Parade.  This will take place on Saturday, June 7^th.  I expect El Presidente will be on some golfing trip that day.

If you were planning on seeing Shakira at the WorldPride concert, you better make other plans.  The sexy spitfire has cancelled several dates, which included the WorldPride concert and a landmark appearance at Boston’s Fenway Park.  The issues cited were security concerns and “the stability of the stage where she was to perform” – as if she was sitting next to me on French Bee!  Look, she’s known for her hips, but not for the size of them!

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Noah’s Arc: The Movie will debut on June 20^th.  I’m sure someone out there is wondering, “What is Noah’s Arc?”  You’ll be forgiven if you’ve forgotten the short-lived series from 2005.  After all, that’s almost two decades ago!  But, what is impossible to figure out is how my bon ami Darryl Stephens (as Noah) looks better than ever.  I guess I’ll have to check it out on Paramount+.

En route back to the States, I stopped in London long enough to hear Russell Brand again plead not guilty to rape, indecent exposure and sexual assault.  And with that, he was given a court date…in 2026!  For incidents that allegedly happened in 1999 and 2005.  Really?  Even if these gals prevail, their victory will be celebrated in some old-age home.  I can see it now.  A pensioner comes into money.  “What’s that for, luv?”  “I was fingered by Russell Brand!”

When you consider the age of Russell’s complaints, Jussie Smollett’s fracas almost seems like breaking news.  But here we are, still talking about the “incident” six years later!  It almost feels icky to go into details.  Suffice it to say, had he taken the original plea deal, he would be out less money, and life would have moved on.  Instead, here we are, with Smollett making a total of $60K in charitable donations, not admitting any guilt, and the case is finally over.  So is his career, but that’s another story.

Then there’s Smokey Robinson – who always looks like he just walked into a surprise party!  Allegedly, four former housekeepers claim that he sexually accosted them repeatedly.  The encounters allegedly took place as far back as 2007.  In fact, one of the women who claims to have been harassed stayed on the payroll until 2024.  Huh?  They also claim that Smokey’s wife, Frances, was involved in the shenanigans (these things never happened when Claudette was around).  Reportedly, the women joined together and tried to get $100 million from the singer.  They were turned down – and probably fired.  Then they filed a $50 million civil lawsuit.  But they didn’t stop there.  They filed criminal charges, which meant the police had to investigate.  Well, that was too much for Smokey – he struck back with a $500 million countersuit claiming defamation and elder abuse!  Stay tuned.

Do you remember back in 2020 when Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife Becki were involved in a sex scandal that included a poolboy?  Again, I can’t possibly recap all the sordid details, except to say I’m sure we never heard the full story.  Anyway, Falwell was forced out of his position running Liberty University.  Since then, there have been battling lawsuits between Junior and the college.  Apparently everything has been settled, with Jerry paying the school $440K in expenses.  But don’t cry for Jer – he’s getting about $5.5 million in a settlement in addition to almost $10 million in his retirement package.  That’s one helluva package!

“For as long as I have worked in the theatre, I have spoken
my mind and never apologized.  That is changing today. 
I am deeply sorry for the words I used during ‘The New Yorker’
interview, particularly about Kecia Lewis, which were
demeaning and disrespectful.  I regret my flippant
and emotional responses…I hope to have the chance to speak
to Audra and Kecia personally to offer my sincere apologies.”
– Patti LuPone speaks her mind…again!

Several years ago, a friend interviewed Patti LuPone for a notable print interview.  During their lengthy sessions, she made many questionable comments that the writer felt perhaps he should excise.  He ran those by Patti and offered to cut them.  “Nope, they’re fine,” was her response.  Patti doesn’t care about ruffling feathers, or pissing people off, or being politically incorrect.  But she also doesn’t want to hurt people unnecessarily.  Surely I don’t need to explain that she used the word “bitch” in the, “Bitch, please” way.  Certainly she didn’t mean it in a racist way.  And, for the record, there is a major problem of sound “bleeding” into theatres where there is a common wall.  When I did my show Going Out on a Limb in Chicago, Dennis DeYoung’s musical The Hunchback of Notre Dame was next door.  While his audiences were somewhat subdued, the band had a thumping bass which needed to be adjusted.  Yes, I complained.  But I don’t think I was being anti-hunchback (although, I probably am).  So, when Patti complained about a neighboring theatre being loud, was she being “racially microaggressive”?  No, she was saying it was too loud.  Do I think Audra knew that?  Of course.  Is Audra gonna address it?  Not on your life.

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Paul in Los Angeles: “I just heard that my favorite porn star, Colton Ford, died.  Do you know any details??”

Gay porn icon Colton Ford and I got close when we appeared together in a production of Making Porn in Philadelphia (alongside his then-partner, Blake Harper).  As beautiful as he was on the outside, he was even more so as a person.  He segued out of porn to his first love – music.  Under the Colton moniker and his given name (Glenn Soukesian), he released several studio albums and toured extensively.  As to details of his death, we’re told it was a hiking accident – yet another reason why I eschew most physical activity.  He was 62 years old.  We’ll run some photos of him on BillyMasters.com.

When Geffen’s marriage is over and Diller’s is still going strong, it’s time to end yet another column.  I didn’t have time to mention another porn mishap.  OnlyFans star Annie Knight ended up in the hospital after attempting to break the record of having sex with 583 men in six hours.  I think I saw this scene in I, Claudius!  She was in extreme pain and bleeding profusely.  But on the positive side, she did break that record!  For more tawdry tales (or tails), check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that routinely breaks all sorts of records.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Hugh Jackman asks Geffen for his ex’s number!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

David Geffen and his husband David Armstrong are getting a divorce.  I am shocked.  Shocked that a marriage between a billionaire and a former Randy Blue boy didn’t last.  Since they only lasted two years, may I be the first ask for my blender back.  The strapping 32-year-old Armstrong (who appeared on film as “Donovan Michaels”) met Geffen when he was hired as the mogul’s personal trainer.  I’m not sure exactly what he trained him to do, but he must be awfully persuasive.  We’re told two shocking things: 82-year-old Geffen is the one who filed for divorce, and the couple didn’t have a prenup!  That fact alone should immediately trigger competency hearings!

The biggest challenge in adapting a beloved property for the stage is structure – what stays in and what gets cut.  In this regard, the musical version of The Devil Wears Prada is successful.  And with such a quotable film, dialogue shouldn’t be an issue.  Alas, that’s where the problems begin.  Obviously changes must be made, but sometimes an extraneous “yet” can throw off an entire scene.  Still, it must be said that this musical is completely “fine”.  What it isn’t is completely “fun”.  Elton John’s music is serviceable, even if many songs sound derivative of “I’m Still Standing”.  The literal imagery of the “devil” may work in a Bananarama video, but it’s too heavy-handed here.  I felt many of the clothes looked cheap – something closer to Solid Gold than Runway.  Also, when someone goes in a dressing room to try on an outfit, they shouldn’t come out with new hair and makeup.

In terms of cast, Georgie Buckland is winning as Andrea, if not perhaps a bit more snappy than expected (and almost painfully thin).  The Emily of Amy Di Bartolomeo is simply divine.  Her Act 2 opener is THE showstopper of the night (the hot nurse helped).  Matt Henry is extremely successful as Nigel, primarily because the character has been re-imagined as a sassy black man (shades of André Leon Talley).  The Miranda of Vanessa Williams looks smashing, but has little more to do other than strut.  Her delivery is more varied and less dry than Meryl’s – which is not a bad thing.  But when Miranda is more human and Andrea is somewhat more jaded from the get-go, it throws off the balance.  Neither lady gets quite the transformation she deserves.  And let me give the producers a tip for free.  You have a giant staircase – for God’s sake, use it.  If you make Andrea complicit in Emily’s accident, we no longer root for her.  At the end of act one, have Emily get distracted at the top of the staircase and fall on her own – maybe in slow motion.  Then you have perfectly set up the opening of Act Two and taken the onus off of Andy.  You’re welcome.

You know all that chatter about a sequel to the film The Devil Wears Prada?  Well, it’s gone beyond chatter – Disney has announced intentions for the sequel to come out during next year’s 20^th anniversary – and given it a release date of May 1, 2026.  Since films typically wrap months before their release, one would assume there is a script and a cast with less than a year to spare.  So is there a script?  We’re told there is.   Has the cast signed on?  Not to the best of my knowledge, although all four leads have expressed interest.  All I can say is…stay tuned.

“As I got older, I lost my virginity to both a boy and
a girl within six months.  And I liked both of those experiences.”
– Kevin McHale shares tales of his sexual awakening.  By the by, he is currently in
London appearing in Sondheim’s The Frogs at the Southwark Playhouse
through June 28^th.  Who he’ll sleep with there remains to be seen!

In terms of theatre, the Brits have it all over us – and I’m not just saying that because they serve ice cream.  It’s because their theatre tickets are affordable.  You want to bring the kids to see Wicked?  You won’t have to take out a second mortgage on your house.  You want the best seat?  Maybe you’ll pay the equivalent of $150 for the center orchestra.  My sister and her kids went to see Hugh Jackman at Radio City Music Hall.  They paid $350 each to sit in the back of the mezzanine!  Life is much more civilized in Merry Old England.

Most of the shows I saw were adaptations of other works.  I’ve never seen the film House of Games.  The David Mamet movie has been adapted for the stage by Richard Bean and was playing at the Hampstead Theatre.  From what I gather, the second half of the play varies from the screen version.  But I can’t imagine the film is better than the taut, 90-minute thriller I saw – and that goes for the writing, the acting, and even the set.  While I completely followed it, I suspect I was in the minority.  I heard many patrons trying to unravel the various twists and turns after the performance.  Of course, I was at a matinee!

Then there was Stranger Things: The First Shadow.  While I could appreciate the stagecraft and performances, I left the play complete baffled – probably because I’ve never seen the series.  I knew I was in trouble when the person sitting next to me showed up in full Star Trek regalia!  While there is no connection between the two series, they do inspire the same rabid loyalty.  The play was entertaining, and I bet if I had a clue what was happening, I would have loved it.

People regularly adapt Ibsen, and that goes for The Master Builder.  And now London is dissecting My Master Builder by Lila Raicek.  It’s not exactly an adaptation, but more inspired by.  And it’s ideal for Ewan McGregor, who is using it as a vehicle for his return to the West End after 17 years.  He’s been brought back by frequent collaborator, director Michael Grandage.  This version takes place in the Hamptons and uses most of Ibsen’s themes – with updates to include #MeToo, office politics, and other modern-day issues.  McGregor has an ease about him which makes him generally charming, but he lacks some of the brazen swagger that is typically part of the lead’s makeup.  Whether it was his approach or the writing, the balance ultimately shifts to his wife – played brilliantly by Kate Fleetwood.  She all but steals the play right out from under him; she’s virtually impossible to take your eyes off whenever she’s onstage.  The smart sets and fluid direction add to a great night of theatre.

I wonder who thought a great idea for a musical would be The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  Again, this is not exactly an adaptation of the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story or the film starring Brad Pitt.  Instead, this is a retelling set in a fishing village near Cornwall.  Benjamin is not the son of a rich button manufacturer; he’s the son of a poor man with the last name Button.  The music reflects the time and the locale.  This is one of those shows where the actors play numerous characters as well as the musical instruments (kudos to Little Jack, who’s also quite a looker and a hoofer).  I am typically able to suspend my disbelief whenever I go to the theatre.  But with this story, I have enormous trouble getting past the conceit of a full-grown elderly man coming out of a petite woman’s vagina – in a three-piece suit, bowler hat, and carrying a walking stick.  No wonder she didn’t survive!  But if you get past that, this is really a magical show with a very talented cast in an inventive production.

The Menendez brothers had a good day at their resentencing hearing.  While there were many possible outcomes, they got one that came right down in the middle.  The boys were originally sentenced to life without parole.  Their new sentence is 50 years to life – which means that since they’ve served 35 years, they are automatically eligible for parole.  What clinched the deal was when each boy took responsibility for the crime and expressed remorse.  Next stop – the parole board.  There’s also a chance that Governor Newsom will simply grant them clemency.

Cooper Koch, who played Erik Menendez in the Ryan Murphy series, nabbed a gig with and in Calvin Klein.  He’s their latest underwear model.  People are already comparing the results to the work Bruce Weber did with pole vaulter Tom Hintnaus.  Personally, I think Tom has pretty big Calvins to fill, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

This leads to our Ask Billy question, which comes from Harris in Atlanta: “Who is that hot guy in the Dolce & Gabbana ad for Light Blue?  He looks so familiar.”

That would be the lovely and talented Theo James.  You recall him from the TV series The Time Traveler’s Wife, where his character had the opportunity to go back in time and perform oral sex…on himself!  His penis was also front and center in The White Lotus (season two in Sicily).  OK, so it ended up being a prosthetic.  Nothing fake about this Light Blue ad campaign, where his rock-hard abs emerge from a pair of skimpy white swimwear sporting a healthy bulge.  It took me several viewings before I figured out it was an ad for a cologne.  Catch a whiff of him at BillyMasters.com.

When I’m ready to plan a trip to LA, it’s time to end yet another column.  But that will have to wait because I’m filing this column from Europe.  You can keep track of all my exploits by checking out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that has that sweet smell of…well, let’s call it success.  If you have a question for me to tackle, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I check out some European department stores.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Keanu Reeves is apparently on some sort of reunion kick.  Starting on September 13^th, he’ll appear in Waiting for Godot on Broadway alongside Alex Winter – his Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure co-star.  Far more intriguing to me is that the play will be directed by Jamie Lloyd, who is responsible for the revolutionary revision of Sunset Blvd with Nicole Scherzinger.  Keanu is also reuniting with Sandra Bullock in an untitled romantic thriller for Amazon MGM Studios.  They will also be joined by producer Mark Gordon, who produced Speed.

The long-gestating reboot of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer has inched a bit closer to reality.  A few months ago, Hulu announced plans for the series to land on their platform – with Sarah Michelle Geller returning as the titular Buffy.  Joining her will be Ryan Kiera Armstrong, who will play “an introverted high-school student” (according to the character breakdown in the casting call).  She will also be a fledging slayer in her own right.

After years of false starts, a new version of A Different World has landed at Netflix.  This is not a remake of the original, but more of a continuation or a sequel.  This series follows Dwayne and Whitley’s daughter during her time at an HBCU.  The inestimable Debbie Allen is one of the producers and will direct the pilot.

A reboot of the talent competition show Star Search has also landed on Netflix.  According to plans, this show will air live twice weekly and the general public will get to vote.  Host, judges, dates, etc. are all up in the air.  But might I suggest Rosie O’Donnell, Sam Harris and Britney Spears as judges?

In some welcomed political news, Ron DeSantis just lost a key ruling.  You’ll recall he tried to make it illegal for children to see drag queens.  Orlando’s Hamburger Mary’s took the state to court.  And the US Court of Appeals for the 11^th Circuit voted 2-1 in favor of the Marys – claiming that the legislation violated the First Amendment.

Apple TV is producing an eight-part series about Siegfried & Roy.  But that’s not the news.  The fact that it’s based on the podcast Wild Things: Siegfried & Roy is also not the news.  That it’s being written and produced by the co-creator of Only Murders in the Building isn’t even the news.  The big news is that the magic men will be portrayed by Jude Law and Andrew Garfield!  The producers are calling the series “a wild ride relationship tale of two of the greatest showman-magicians in history who, along with their white tigers, are tasked with turning Sin City into a family-friendly destination.  The duo push the concept of illusion versus reality to the extreme, personally and professionally, until tragedy reframes and opens a mystery surrounding their last fateful Las Vegas show.”  Filming is set to start later this summer.

This isn’t the only high-profile gay project.  Burning Rainbow Farm: How a Stoner Utopia Went Up in Smoke was a book based on a true story.  Tom Crosslin and Rolland “Rollie” Rohm were a gay couple who built a “pot-friendly utopia” in Michigan back in the ‘90s.  It was billed as a “retreat for cannabis advocates and the LGBTQ community.”  I don’t know anything more than what the press release says – which is that “their story ends with a deadly standoff with the police”.  Once again, the big news is that the gay couple will be played by Sebastian Stan and Leo Woodall.  This theatrical film is set to come out next summer.

Strangers on a Beach is described as a period piece – although I have enormous difficulty calling something from a year I can remember “a period piece”.  Be that as it may, San Francisco in 1983 was when a serial killer stalked gay men on the beach – hence the title.  In this case, two of the men become intimate – Zane Phillips (no stranger to onscreen intimacy) and Jelani Alladin (ditto).  The film debuted at the Big Apple Film Festival in NYC last week, and we hear it was warmly received.

“I discovered air conditioning and masturbation about the
same time in my life.  What a wild combo.”
– James Carville.  Every once in a while that crazy old man makes me laugh!

I read an interesting story about how the paucity of physical stores is putting a crimp on gay cruising.  The article claims that making eye contact in a department store could often lead to “other” things.  And I thought it was just me.  Over the years, I met three memorable men in Macy’s at the Dallas Galleria.  Admittedly, all three worked there.  But, like their employer, I had each of them fill various slots.  We limited our trysts to off-hours – except for one who helped measure my inseam.  In my youth, I worked at a Chess King and a Merry Go Round.  The closest I got to a proposition was an older gent who asked for my help with his sack.  Alas, it was just his purchases.

The new way to meet men is on planes.  Yes, flight attendants seem to be ripe for the picking.  Our story takes place on a JetBlue flight from Fort Lauderdale to LAX – a route I fly frequently.  Dennis Wally Woodbury, 49, was a passenger on April 13^th.  He’s also a former CHP captain.  According to the complaint, problems began before the flight left the gate.  When boarding, Woodbury showed one flight attendant a photo of his dog…and the photo had what is described as “pornographic imagery in the background”.  After food service (accompanied by copious amounts of alcohol), he allegedly slapped the flight attendant’s buttocks inappropriately – one might ask what an appropriate butt slap would have been.  Later, Woodbury walked to the front galley and exposed himself to the flight attendant – at which point he was told, “Enough!  Go back to your seat.”  Not the response he was expecting.  I can assure you these things never happened at Macy’s or Chess King.  I did hear rumors about Merry Go Round.

I was already beyond the mall cruising age when Abercrombie & Fitch became the “it” store.  Sure, I slept with some of their models – but that really falls under the category of “recreation” and “research”.  The former A&F CEO has been found unfit to stand trial for sex trafficking and an assortment of other charges.  Michael Jeffries, 80, went through extensive medical exams and was found to be suffering from Alzheimer’s disease and Lewy Body Dementia – allegedly residual effects of traumatic brain injury.  Doctors claim that his medical condition makes him unable to recall events or understand the legal charges against him.  Well, how convenient!  Alas, his partner Matthew Smith and his alleged “procurer” James Jacobson aren’t as lucky.  They still face charges.  While Jeffries cannot be criminally charged, the plaintiffs can file civil suits.

Speaking of strange bedfellows, let’s talk about Barry Diller.  So, he’s gay.  Anyone surprised?  Hands?  We’ll even tie it in to our previous item – Barry was the head of FOX, the network that launched with Joan Rivers’ own late-night talk show.  Barry was the man who hired her.  He’s also the man who cancelled the show.  He was also the man Joan blamed for her husband’s suicide.  He also eventually became her boss again at QVC – with a far happier ending.  And I’m sure Diller likes a happy ending!  I have my own Barry story. It was at a Commitment to Life AIDS benefit at the Universal Amphitheatre.  From the stage, Barry mentioned something positive about Albania.  A phalanx of photographers surrounded him as he was walking past me.  “I’m Albanian,” I blurted out.  And he stopped in his tracks.  We talked briefly.  I don’t recall many details, but I recall him being quite charming.

Where was I?  Oh yes, Diller wrote a book.  Who Knew – no question mark needed.  We’ve not read the book, only excerpts.  Barry reveals he was cavorting with other boys since he was a teenager in West Hollywood.  As his status rose, he came up with his own “personal bill of rights”.  He planned to live in silence, but not pretend.  He’d never try to convince people he was heterosexual, but would skirt personal questions.  He would not delude anyone.  Lastly, “I would never bring a man as a date to a heterosexual event – but I’d never bring a woman as a ‘beard,’ either.”  He continues, “While there have been a good many men in my life, there has only ever been one woman.”

That brings us to Miss von Fürstenberg.  Barry calls theirs a “love story”.  He is adamant that he truly loves her.  “There are many complex aspects of my relationship with Diane von Fürstenberg – romantic love and deep respect, companionship and world adventuring, then disappointment and separation, and finally marriage.”  He admits it’s confusing.  “I’m well aware that this part of my life has caused confusion and lots of speculation.  A relationship that began with indifference, then exploded into a romance as natural to us as breathing, surprised us and everyone else.”  Regarding his male relationships, Diane says, “It’s something I’ve never discussed with him.  Because what is between him and me is so much more.  It’s so much deeper.”  She adds, “But, you know, I’m an odd cookie!”

How can I top that?  With this week’s Ask Billy question.  Kevin in San Diego writes, “I hear Jude Law shows all in Eden.  True??”

True.  And, to tie this in with the rest of the column, Jude has twice played the Pope – in The Young Pope (a series for HBO) and The New Pope (where he played the same character…in a coma).  As to Eden, it’s a film from Ron Howard coming out in August.  Since I have my ways, I can assure you that Jude looks as scrumptious as ever – and I don’t even mind his “enhancements”.  He walks around shirtless a lot, showing off his impressive physique.  And then, yes, he does indeed show all.  I know you’ll want to see it, and what kinda host would I be to make you wait until August?  Just head on over to BillyMasters.com.

When we’re showcasing a nude Pope, it’s time to end yet another column.  Now I’m hungry for a cookie!  While I wait around to burn in hell, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t break a single commandment.  Except that one about coveting a neighbor…or an ass…or a neighbor’s ass!  If you have a non-liturgical question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and and I promise to get back to you before I’m cast as Mary Magdalene (it could happen)!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Lil Nas X, certainly both a fashion plate and a black dandy, did not attend.  Of course, if you read this column, you know he’s suffering from something in the Bell’s Palsy family.  Apparently his medical condition is not getting any better.  He announced that he will drop out of the Outloud Music Festival in Los Angeles (part of WeHo Pride).  “After my recent hospital visit, I – like all of you should – must prioritize my health and getting back to 100%.  As it currently stands, I would not be able [to] perform that type of show my fans and community deserve.  I am sorry!  Even though I can’t be there, I hope you all show OUT for Pride.  Now more than ever, we need to be seen.”

Didya know Sandra Bernhard had open heart surgery?  She claims it was not nearly as critical as it sounds.  “It was a planned surgery.  It wasn’t that dramatic.”  Sounds a little dramatic.  While lying on the gurney, she looked up and said, “I know we’re just minutes away from being wheeled into the operating room, but I’m an actress.  I’m a performer.  Do I need to bring in a plastic surgeon?”  They told her, “We’ll make it work; we’ll make it beautiful.”  And so it was, as she showed off during her opening night at The Café Carlyle.  The Café Carlyle?  Who is she?  Bobby Short?  Marilyn Maye?  Anyway, the show was reportedly a smash.

Watch how I combine Catholicism, the church, and queer singers.  Every year, the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra presents a big, splashy musical in a semi-staged performance.  This year, they are doing Jesus Christ Superstar.  In the plumb role of Jesus Christ we have…Cynthia Erivo?  Well, after appearing in greenface, why not?  Still, I don’t recall the Biblical passage about Jesus having a nose ring.  Her Judas will be Adam Lambert!  In a way, I find it all inspired casting.  These shows typically sell out, so if you want tickets, you better go to HollywoodBowl.com.

The entertainment business makes strange bedfellows.  Picture it – an all-star tribute to Joan Rivers taking place at the legendary Apollo Theatre in Harlem being shown on NBC.  Forget what’s wrong with this picture – what’s right about it?  When Missy was asked how the lineup was chosen, she said, “First of all, we took anyone who said yes.”  Finally, a refreshing moment of candor (an ebb).  Joan Rivers – A Dead Funny All-Star Tribute will air on May 13^th on NBC – the network that blackballed her.

You know who should have gone to confession once or twice?  Anna Wintour.  If someone had guided her to forgive André Leon Talley, she wouldn’t have had to mount an entire Met Gala just to make amends with the late (and certainly great) fashionista!  But there we were, celebrating the ultimate Black Dandy.  For me, the Met Gala is rarely a fashion show and more a freak show.  I find most of the outfits either ridiculous or ludicrous.  I will admit that Whoopi looked quite fetching in her Thom Browne ensemble.  But is there any reason she couldn’t smile?  Even a little?  I’ve seen happier people in hostage videos.  Then there’s that singer Lisa, who you’ll remember from the recent Oscars.  If you looked closely (and you’re forgiven if you didn’t), you’d have noticed the crotchal area of her Louis Vuitton ensemble seemed to be embroidered with the image of Rosa Parks!  Turns out, Lisa had the likeness of several notable people included in the fabric.  And who doesn’t want a little inspiration when looking down at their crotch?  Especially of someone who is most notable for taking a seat…up front!

Then there was that buck-tooth actress from White Lotus whose name escapes me – who attended the gala with Patrick Schwarzenegger.  On the red carpet, she was questioned about her alleged feud with co-star Walton Goggins (who was only feet away from her).  She said she adores him.  Enough to show up when he hosts Saturday Night Live?  She said she expects him to hit it out of the park, but has no plans to be there.  FYI, she didn’t show up and wasn’t even mentioned.

Schwarzy is campaigning to star in Luca Guadagnino’s remake of American Psycho – a role I presume will go to someone with a higher profile (not that Christian Bale was that big when he made the original in 2000).  Still, good for Paddy for taking his shot…even if it was from the red carpet of the Met Gala while holding a red clutch!

You know I hate to complain.  But what the hell kinda conclave was that?  My God, the movie was longer (or maybe it just seemed longer).  Anyway, we have a new Pope – Leo XIV.  Didya know the new pope watched the film Conclave before going into the actual conclave?  At least that’s what his brother told the press.  Just what the Vatican needs, the papal equivalent of Roger Clinton!  I have friends who aren’t happy that this pope is somewhat conservative regarding gays and women in the church.  People, grow up.  This is the Catholic Church!  It’s like saying McDonald’s should hire more vegetarians!  Speaking of food, here’s a fun fact – apparently it’s against the rules to serve ravioli during a conclave?  In the past, people would send secret messages inside the certain food.  That’s why tubular pastas and roast chickens are also against the rules.  At least now I know why so many priests have turned to me in a confessional and said, “Is that cannelloni in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”

Our Ask Billy question comes from Mark in Texas: “Who is this singer Olly Murs?  All I know about him is these hot before and after photos that keep popping up online.”

Olly Murs got his big break as the runner-up on The X Factor (UK) back in 2009.  We met once at Sharon Osbourne’s house.  We laughed, we drank, we splashed in the hot tub.  He got me quite wet – and that was before he buffed up!  He’s a charming fellow.  So’s Sharon, for that matter!  Back to Olly.  He was always in decent shape.  He looked good in clothes – you know, like Darren Criss.  Also like Darren, Olly decided he’d like to look good out of clothes.  For his New Year’s Resolution, he whipped himself into shape by doing what was called a “12-week gym transformation”.  Of course, it also included a drastic diet.  And that’s how the photos went public – Olly’s nutritionist is the one who shared the photos.  Then someone else took the before and after pics and started a poll asking if you preferred the before or after Olly.  The results were quite staggering.  While the vast majority of men preferred the “after” photo, the women by and large chose…well, the larger photo.  Personally, I was happy with his progress by Week Four.  You can check out Murs’ incredible transformation on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m trying to find a trainer and nutritionist with a “first month free” special, it’s time to end yet another column.  I just remembered that back when I met Olly, he said he considered himself about 20% gay.  I guess I was just lucky to meet him on the right day!  Of course, my fans know that our new column goes live every Mondays on www.BillyMasters.com – the site the site delivers 24/7.  If you have a question, a comment, a prescription for Mounjaro, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I help Olly find that missing 80%!  So, until next time, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

John Reid is running for Lieutenant Governor of Virginia.  He’s a Republican, a former conservative radio host, and openly gay.  Allies of Glenn Youngkin, the Republican governor of Virginia, have been trying to pressure Reid to drop out of the race.  Reid revealed, “Representatives of my campaign have been told by the leader of Governor Youngkin’s political organization that the attacks on me will continue unless I drop out of the race for lieutenant governor.”  Reid refused, adding, “This is extortion, and it is illegal in Virginia.”  Suddenly, photos of Reid at a drag show surfaced.  “Drag is not for kids but really, who cares what adults watch or what they do in an of-age restaurant or bar or club?” responded Reid.  Then Youngkin personally called Reid asking him to bow out.  “What I didn’t expect was the governor I have always supported call and demand my resignation without even showing me the supposed evidence or offering me a chance to respond.  I do no accept that and deeply resent it.”

He then made a lengthy statement, which included the following: “I’ve been openly gay for 30+ years.  I’ve not broken the law.  I’ve told the truth about who I am for years, and I’ll do it again now.  I was on-again/off-again single and dating for many years before I met my partner over 8 years ago.  Am I expected to answer every twisted, intrusive question about my previous relationships?  Every person I ever had sex with?  Every dating app I was ever on?  Must I share my gay Tinder profile?  Every profile picture on the internet?  The 78,000 photos on Facebook?  Every late-night text?  Is anyone at the Richmond State Capitol or in DC planning on doing the same?  It’s not my place to judge others, so I won’t.  But I haven’t publicly performed or publicly posted anything pornographic.  Have I seen porn?  Yes.  Have I had one-night stands?  Yes.  Are my exes all still in love with me?  No.  What more can I possibly tell you, and why am I the candidate who has to answer questions on this topic?  Let’s be honest: It’s because I’m openly gay and I have never bowed down to the establishment, and I will not.”

In a related pronoun story, Robert De Niro has a child who has come out as trans.  “I loved and supported Aaron as my son, and now I love and support Airyn as my daughter.  I don’t know what the big deal is.  I love all my children,” says Bobby.  Not much more to add to that.  It could have also made a good opening quote.  Far more interesting is the fact that Airyn’s mom is Toukie Smith.  Remember Toukie?  The sometime actress/model and sister of designer Willi Smith?  Oh, it was a simpler time when Toukie hit the scene.  Back then, the NYC tabloids were all a-twitter that De Niro had the “jungle fever”.  Now nobody would probably blink an eye.

You know where Toukie might be right at home?  On Wisteria Lane.  This new series (with no involvement by creator Marc Cherry) is being developed by Kerry Washington.  But don’t call it a remake or a spinoff.  Kerry says it’s “inspired by” Desperate Housewives.  “The idea is that it’s new times, there’s new challenges.  It’s like – what happens on that cul-de-sac now?”  And it will be the same cul-de-sac, since those houses still exist on the Universal backlot.  Allegedly, the plan is not to use any of the original characters.  Where’d they all go?  Maybe Covid ran rampant and killed everyone off.  I suppose time will tell.  But, should anyone be interested, Eva Longoria has made it clear that she “would be the first person to sign up” for a Desperate Housewives reboot.

Speaking of television shows, CBS has announced that they are cancelling the Queen Latifah-helmed Equalizer after 5 seasons.  Well, I’m shocked.  Shocked, I tell you.  Shocked that it was still on the air and lasted five years!

“Life is precious.  I don’t know how much longer my father has.”
– Prince Harry tells a reporter why he’d like to reconcile with King Charles – and that
“there is no point in continuing to fight”.  And he wonders why nobody in his family talks to him.

I’m typically up for a three-way.  But this week, there was a three-way tie for what would end up as our opening quote.  Would it be Prince Harry’s typical dimness?  Or Donald Trump saying, “I picked you because, frankly, I never heard of you,” to Terry Moran?  Or perhaps acclaimed filmmaker Pedro Almodóvar saying of El Presidente, “You will go down in history as the greatest mistake of our time…you will go down in history as one of the greatest dangers to humanity since the beginning of the century.  You will go down in history as a catastrophe.”  While Prince Harry won, Pedro was close.  However, the century is only 25 years old.  It’s like saying the greatest catastrophe of the final 25 years of the last century was the AMC Pacer!

Before we get to other political news, I think we have to talk about the biggest story of the past week – the Tony nominations!  Let’s look at the race for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Musical.  I like the good old days when we could just say Best Actress in a Musical.  Anyway, those delightful divas from Death Becomes Her will cancel each other out.  And, God bless that BOOP! girl for making the cut.  But this race is all about Mama Rose and Norma Desmond.  Frankly, someone should simply ask Patti LuPone to choose – after all, she played both parts (she can play any role).  You have relative newbie Nicole Scherzinger, who seemed a shoe-in before Gypsy opened (and before she commented on Russell Brand’s Jesus hat).  But you also have Audra McDonald, who is now the most Tony-nominated actor in history, and who has won an award in all four female acting categories.  Who will win?  If I were a betting man, I’d put money on Audra.

Of course, if you put money on Kieran Culkin being nominated, you’d be licking your wounds.  Not that he would have had a prayer of winning once it was determined that Cole Escola qualified as Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Play.  The reason this was even in question is that Cole is playing a female role – Mary Todd Lincoln.  And in real life, Cole uses the “they” pronoun.  So do they really want to win an award branded for men?  Perhaps.  Last week, Escola told Stephen Colbert, “I really want to play a straight guy.”  My response was the Danny Thomas spit-take, and a trip to Best Buy to replace a shorted-out TV.   But good for him…er, them.

Two notable “hes” were also shut out of nominations.  Despite having the highest-priced tickets in Broadway history, both Denzel Washington and Jake Gyllenhaal in Othello were snubbed by the Tony Committee.  While some people are saying they were hurt by all the hoopla (a word I like to work into at least one column a year), others point to reviewers who were simply underwhelmed.

Last week, I was delighted to return to Billy Masters LIVE! and bring back our most popular guest – Bruce Vilanch.  We primarily focused on It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time – his book about writing for some less-than-stellar works of stage, screen, and television.  We spoke primarily of The Star Wars Holiday Special, The Paul Lynde Halloween Special, The Brady Bunch Hour, and Can’t Stop the Music – because you know how much I enjoy an Altovise Davis story.  We also touched on Carol Channing, Charo, and his aborted effort for Bravo.  The book is loads of fun – as is our chat, which you can watch on BillyMasters.tv or on our YouTube channel.

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Harry in Dallas: “What is up with Shannon Sharpe?  He was willing to pay someone $10 million to settle rape allegations?  Is this the same person he was fucking in that video?”

This is SO not my métier, but I’m been assured that these are two separate stories (perhaps even more).  Regarding the video which we posted weeks ago, Sharpe left an Instagram Live running while he had a tryst with an unknown woman in a hotel room.  While we see precious little, what we hear sounds consensual – and somewhat energetic.  The legal problems stem from the former pro-football player being accused of assaulting a woman back in 2023.  He claims the allegations are false and that it’s all a “shakedown” – which seemed plausible until we heard he offered the gal $10 million to go away.  She refused the offer.  Anyone turning down $10 million is looking for something more than money.  Needless to say, Sharpe had to step away from his ESPN duties until this resolves.

When Jinkx could star in a reboot of Murder, She Wrote, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I know you’re all wondering when I will do the next Billy Masters LIVE!.  I have a few ideas in the works.  I suppose the best way to keep tabs on me is to check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that still enjoys a bit of rum!  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before JD Vance kills again!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

A different type of show happened at the Broadway production of Sunset Blvd.  A matinee had to be cancelled due to some technical difficulty with the sound system.  What made this a column-worthy item is that the audience was informed of the snafu by Norma Desmond herself.  Nicole Scherzinger told them they could go to the box office and get tickets to an alternate performance or could get a refund.  But before they left, she wanted to give them something for their trouble.  Brandishing a bullhorn and playing a backing track through her cell phone, Scherzy belted out “With One Look” – to considerable applause.  You can see her impromptu performance on BillyMasters.com.

Elsewhere on Broadway, Pirates!  The Penzance Musical opened at the Roundabout Theatre.  While any chance to see Ramin Karimloo unbuckle his swash is OK in my book, we send kudos (whatever they are) to the fantastic Jinkx Monsoon, who is assuming the role of Ruth, played by Angela Lansbury in the Kevin Kline film.  Jinkx is getting rave reviews for her comic turn.  There is even talk that she could snag a Tony nomination.  Stay tuned.

When the Tonys are distributed on June 8^th, someone very special will be getting a very special award.  It’s just been announced that the recipient of the 2025 Lifetime Achievement Tony Award will be…. Harvey Fierstein!  “Harvey Fierstein’s contributions to the American theatre, both as an artist and activist, represent an extraordinary legacy,” said the committee about the four-time Tony winner (in competition, Miss Streisand).

And, now, a public service announcement – one I feel compelled to make before it leads to an inevitable tragedy.  I believe the time has come for someone to put seat belts on any chair Liza Minnelli sits in.  There she was, chatting with RuPaul, being honored for basically remaining conscious for so long.  She’s moving, and spinning, and shaking, and twitching.  At one point, her head is on her lap and one of her legs is in the air – a position I’m not unfamiliar with!  What was going on?  It was like she was auditioning for Mummenschanz!  At a certain point, I needed a Dramamine.  I’m all for live and let live – but please, Liza, live and stay safe.

Friends were sure I heard about Ugly Betty alum Eric Mabius’ scuffle with the law.  But, what can I say – he’s really not on my radar.  I feel I’m not alone in that department, so let me share the sordid details in case you don’t know and/or care.  I should start by saying it happened in Florida – where most sordid stories start.  The incident happened in Fernandina, Florida – which is just outside of Jacksonville (oh, this just keeps getting worse).  Eric was at a bar with a female companion, who was asked repeatedly to leave after other patrons complained about her rude behavior.  How rude?  At one point, she was spitting on people.  Ah, that Eric Mabius – he’s got an eye for the classy ladies.  When his companion spit on another woman, a tussle ensued.  That’s when Mabius sprung to action and somehow knocked both gals to the ground.  Here’s where it gets good, according to the police report of what happened to the alleged victim: “Eric got on top of her and was pulling her hair, ripping a handful of her hair from her scalp!”  OUCH!  Once police arrived, Mabius “became more belligerent” and attempted to leave the scene.  Police had him sit on a bench and arrested him for “resisting without violence”.  Well, they didn’t want him to pull their hair!!  This led to a doozy of a mugshot, in which he is wearing what I hope is an ensemble provided by the penal system.  I can just picture him explaining to his cellmates why he’s in the pokey.  “I pulled a girl’s hair!”

“I mean, he’s…look, the guy’s a pope killer, okay?”
– Bowen Yang tells the ladies of The View his opinion on JD Vance.  Joy Behar was quick
to smooth any ruffled feathers.  “He doesn’t mean it literally – he’s talking spiritually.”  Is he?

“Listen, my children, and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere.  On the eighteenth of April, in seventy-five; hardly a man is now alive who remembers that famous day and year.”  That’s how Henry Wadsworth Longfellow began his 1860 poem about Paul Revere’s ride.  Today, the only one still alive who remembers that famous ride is Dame Joan Collins!  This ride has always been celebrated in my native hamlet of Medford.  Fun fact – Revere never said “The British are coming”.  After all, everyone was British!  He said, “The Regulars are coming out.”  Even back then, coming out was big news!  In Medford, he alerted Captain Isaac Hall.  During my childhood, Hall’s home was the Gaffey Funeral Parlor.  Someone playing the good Captain would pop out of the second-floor window in a nightcap and ask what all the ruckus was about.  Then he’d invite Revere in for a cup of rum.  Oh, as kids we enjoyed this pageantry…and the rum!  Today, Hall’s house is the Islamic Cultural Center.  On this 250^th anniversary, Hall still popped out the window, put down his prayer rug, faced Mecca, and the tradition continued.

You heard it here first.  Sure, everyone saw the photos of Robert Irwin posing in his skivvies with a python.  But I believe I was the first to get a glimpse of something big.  Lo and behold, he’s been cast on Dancing with the Stars.  Am I the only one envisioning some version of “I’m a Slave 4U” with the snake?  Or, perhaps, whatever song La Toya was singing while a snake was wrapped around her nether regions?  Come to think of it, there may not have actually been a song.  And that video might not have been on MTV.  It might have been the Playboy Channel.

Rosie O’Donnell has expressed shock that Ellen DeGeneres (and Portia) also left the US.  “I’ve never really known Ellen to say anything political in her life, so I was surprised to read that she left because of President Trump.  Like, that shocked me, actually.”  Without getting into her issues with Ellen (and vice versa), Rosie wishes her well.  “I don’t want to fight against another gay woman.  It’s not like we’re tenaciously opposed to each other.  We’re just very different people.  We have had some stuff in the past that was never resolved.  And not in any way as, as partners or lovers or anything like that.  Just as friends and comedians.  But I wish her the best.  I seriously do.”

Speaking of our little chat show, I recently mused about making a comeback (well, it’s more of a return).  I’m delighted to tell you that we’ll soon be sitting down with raconteur Bruce Vilanch to discuss his latest oeuvre, It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time.  If you want to get in on the fun, head on over to BillyMasters.tv and join us live on Friday, April 25^th at 5PM ET.  Or you can watch the whole show after the fact on our YouTube channel.

Another return was inquired about in our Ask Billy question this week.  Mark in Los Angeles said, “I caught the end of House Hunters on HGTV last week, and I swear they were talking to Dan Renzi.  Was that him?”

It was indeed.  The lovely Dan Renzi returned (albeit briefly) to his reality show roots for the House Hunters cameras.  Since becoming a visiting nurse, he’s returned to his native Overland Park, Kansas and decided to buy his first home.  A longtime friend convinced him to allow cameras to document the process, and Renzi agreed – with trepidation.  Aside from HGTV calling the episode “Crazy Concepts in Kansas”, he was pleased with the results.  The episode is about a year old, but was recently repeated on the network.  You can check out the full episode on their website (season 252, episode 1), or check it out on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re watching Renzi in the real world, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Talk about your summer reruns!  Well, you know what they say about real estate – location, location, location.  And the best location on the web is www.BillyMasters.com – the site that has some of the best views around.  While you’re there, you can take a little time and enjoy the view on Billy Masters LIVE.  If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Gayle gets another ticket to ride, and she don’t care!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Nobody knows what will be the outcome of Wendy Williams’ latest bid to break her guardianship.  When her lawyer said in court that she was capable of resuming her career, Judge Lisa Sokoloff reportedly said, “It’s done.”  I find that a bit uncalled for – and slightly rude.  I can’t think of a single judge capable of predicting a showbiz career – from Judge Judy to Judge Ito!  I wouldn’t even accept it from Simon Cowell or Paula Abdul!  And, say what you will, the public is still interested in Williams.  We hear that a bidding war is ensuing with various networks and presenters lining up to get the first sit-down with Wendy.  Stay tuned.

With And Just Like That… about to commence its third season, our pal Mario Cantone has expressed his delight at not only returning to the show, but picking up where last season ended – in bed with hot new love interest, Sebastiano Pigazzi.  “When we were going into the second season, Michael Patrick King called me up and said, ‘Hey, just so you know, you’re gonna be getting a storyline, you’re gonna be getting a boyfriend.’”  How does Mario feel about this added bit of exposure?  “I want more nudity!  I like being sexualized at 65 years old.”  Sounds good to me.  And he looks fantastic, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

It seems like just yesterday Charles Busch and Julie Halston celebrated twenty years of working together with a big, splashy Broadway benefit, featuring a performance of Vampire Lesbians of Sodom.  But it wasn’t yesterday.  It was March of 2005.  Using my handy-dandy abacus, I’m able to calculate with a good amount of certainty that means we’re circling the fortieth anniversary.  So I wasn’t surprised when Busch posted the following: “I’m delighted to announce (and I can’t quite believe that I’m writing these words) that on Thursday July 24^th, we’ll be having a 40^th anniversary celebration of Vampire Lesbians of Sodom at 54 Below.  We’ll be doing two performances at 7 and 9:30 pm, which will include a reading of the play and then a talkback after both performances about the creation of that show, which was as outrageous as the show itself.  The original cast will be back as well as our director/producer and cast member, Ken Elliott.”  For tickets to this auspicious occasion, head on over to 54Below.org.  I hasten to add that both shows sold out in a matter of hours.  Perhaps more will be forthcoming.  Or perhaps we’ll do a special Billy Masters LIVE closer to the event.