Category Archives: Breaking

Harington’s Kit Search

Our Ask Billy question comes from Tim in Detroit: “Did you see those photos of Kit Harington?  WTF?”

For those of you who aren’t in the know, the Game of Thrones star was snapped walking down the streets of London with his right arm down his pant leg.  From the series of snaps, many have speculated that Kit was simply adjusting his dick – which we’ve all done from time to time.  But his arm is so deep down there, I think he might have been trying to flatten some boxers.  Unless his dick is REALLY long.  I guess you’ll have to check out BillyMasters.com and decide for yourself.

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When we’re running longer than Kit’s kit, it’s definitely time to end another column.  Speaking of long, this month we are celebrating 25 years of writing this column.  In some ways, it’s even more fun today.  Believe it or not, back then I had to fax the column every week to some of my papers.  And a few got theirs via snail mail – talk about timely!  But now, I can interact with you almost immediately on BillyMasters.com – the site that always delivers.  I can even talk to you face-to-face via Billy Masters LIVE, which you can find on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV.  Should you need more of me (allowing for social distancing), write to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you after I find the answer in my pants!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

 

Revelations on #BMLive

What a week we had on Billy Masters LIVE.  Tuesday kicked off with the outrageous Judy Gold – whose book, Yes, I Can Say That, is not only hilarious but also brilliant.  It is a perfect book to read in these times of social media outrage and political correctness (I heartily recommend the audiobook, which Judy reads).  We were joined by Wilson Cruz.  To say I’d wait a lifetime for Wilson is an understatement.  We talked about our long friendship – complete with many heretofore unseen photos of him in various forms of undress.  He was thoughtful, witty, sincere, and dishy.  Everything I’d want in a boyfriend…er, I mean a guest!  Definitely worth checking out.

On Thursday, Provincetown during a pandemic was the topic.  We started off with Edmund Bagnell – who you may know from Well-Strung.  He is currently doing a solo show at the Crown & Anchor.  Also at the Crown is Varla Jean Merman, who popped in (out of drag) to discuss the challenges of laughing at the coronavirus.  It was a perfect way to end the week.  You can see all of our shows on BillyMasters.com/TV or on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV.

Regis on Ripa on Regis

I admit it – I got caught up in the tributes to Regis Philbin.  Then I started watching interviews he gave.  In a sit-down with Larry King, Regis made a staggering confession when asked, “Do you keep in touch with Kelly Ripa?”  “Not really, no.  Never once did they ask me to go back…She got very offended when I left.  She thought I was leaving because of her.  I was leaving because I was getting older and it wasn’t right for me anymore.”  Larry pressed – has Regis heard from her?  “Never have.”  Counter that with all the tributes Kelly has shown up on…inconsolable.  Not all is as it seems.  Think about that when you judge Ellen.

Moving on to something far more important – the Rockettes have cancelled their annual Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall.  When the Rockettes are worried about kicking off, we’re doomed.

Stars Weigh In On Ellen

Pandemic or not, August is typically the slowest time in entertainment – at least in terms of consumption.  When I cannot watch The View shortly after waking, I feel out of step with the world.  And when I cannot watch The Talk shortly after breakfast, I know it’s August.  And yet, in the midst of this wasteland, television news continues to be generated – whether it is speculation on if Meghan McCain will return to The View after her baby is born (she claims she will), whether Sara Haines will return to The View since her GMA offshoot has been cancelled, and what will happen to Michael Strahan…and his lisp?

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The controversy surrounding Ellen DeGeneres continues to swirl out of control.  I have one overall thought: no performer is paid to be nice.  Nice is something manufactured by the media, which I suppose I am a part of.  I’ve had limited interaction with DeGeneres.  While there is a small handful of people who have pointedly refused to be pleasant (Halle Berry, Heidi Klum, and Geena Davis come to mind), Ellen has always been solicitous.  However, a friend of mine is quick to point out that when I brought him to a taping of her show, all we got as a giveaway was a coupon for a Marie Callender’s pot pie!  I must correct him – I believe we were also given a Liz Phair CD.

In addition to my dubious endorsement, several celebs have also weighed in.  We already know that Brad Garrett and Lea Thompson concur that the “nice” moniker is far from accurate.  Someone joining their ranks is Ellen’s former DJ, Tony Okungbowa.  “I have been getting calls asking me about the Ellen Degeneres Show and I would like to address the time I spent there.  I was on air talent from 2003-2006 and from 2007-2013.  While I am grateful for the opportunity it afforded me, I did experience and feel the toxicity of the environment and I stand with my former colleagues in their quest to create a healthier and more inclusive workplace as the show moves forward.” 

On the other hand, people like Katy Perry, Ashton Kutcher, Alec Baldwin, and Diane Keaton have come to Ellen’s defense.  It should be noted that Keaton also spoke up in favor of Woody Allen.  Then there’s Kevin Hart, who had this to say: “It’s crazy to see my friend go thru what she’s going thru publicly.  I have known Ellen for years and I can honestly say that she’s one of the dopest people on the fucking planet.  She has treated my family and my team with love and respect from day 1.  The internet has become a crazy world of negativity…we are falling in love with peoples down fall.”  It bears mentioning that Ellen was supportive of Hart when his past homophobic jokes resurfaced and squashed his opportunity to host the Academy Awards.  Where does the truth lie?  And, more importantly, does it matter?  To most people reading this, it only matters in terms of gossip – and who am I to minimize that?  But deep down, I doubt anyone cares.  If Ellen entertains you, great.  If not, change the channel.

Brit Brothers Bonding

I know showbiz makes strange bedfellows, but this might be a first – two actors who play brothers on a British show are boyfriends in real life!!  The show in question is the long-running soap Emmerdale, and the actors are Max Parker and Kris Mochrie, who play Luke and Lee Posner.  But it’s not as icky as it sounds.  They met last fall on the day the character of Lee was being killed off, which was Mochrie’s last day of shooting.  Sparks didn’t necessary fly on the set, but the lads stayed in touch…with the touching becoming more intense in recent weeks – as you’ll see in the photos on BillyMasters.com.

Jacked Up Jackman

By the way, the ripped Reed Kelly came to us from Australia – and woke up at 3AM to do a tech with me (the idea of Reed Kelly waking up in the middle of the night to do anything with me is a dream come true).  On Tuesday, we had Branden & James Branden is a Yank, while James is from Down Under.  The idea of Branden Yanking James Down Under should get you to watch that show.  If you want to see them live, the twosome is in residence at the Front Porch in Ogunquit all summer.  And from August 11-15, they’ll be in Provincetown at the Pilgrim House.  Check out TheFrontPorch.com or PilgrimHousePtown.com or their full schedule at BrandenJames.com.

Hugh Jackman is from Down Under.  But he’s been quarantining stateside.  Last week, he joined his wife Deb at The Hamptons for a dip in the ocean.  Should you want to see how he’s holding up, check out BillyMasters.com.

We’ve got two pretty specials shows this week on #BMLive.  On Tuesday, Wilson Cruz joins me for a long-overdue visit.  Also, Judy Gold pops in to talk about her new book, Yes, I Can Say That.  And on Thursday, Edmund Bagnell, who you may know from the singing string quartet Well-Strung, will talk to us about his solo show, He Plays the ViolinVarla Jean Merman will also be there to discuss performing in Provincetown this summer.  They’ll be joined by producer/manager Mark Cortale and Rick Murray, owner of The Crown and Anchor, who will fill us in on how these shows have been going (which, by the way, have all been selling out).  You can check out the full schedule at OnlyAtTheCrown.com.  And you can watch our show on BillyMasters.com.

Broadway Bares Boys

You know what show has no problems?  Billy Masters LIVE.  And do you know why?  Because we have no staff!  If something goes wrong, it’s all my fault.  But when something goes right, I get to take all of the credit – like with last week’s show saluting Broadway Bares.  The annual burlesque sex-travaganza is a major fundraiser for Broadway Cares, and was initially cancelled in light of the pandemic.  When they figured out how to go forward as a virtual event, I decided to devote a show to them.  With founder Jerry Mitchell as the centerpiece, I assembled some of the hottest men to ever grace the stage – and each of them has raised tens of thousands of dollars for the charity.  Christopher Sieber, Spencer Liff, Patrick Boyd, Reed Kelly, and Mark MacKillop joined me for almost two hours of joyous walks down memory lane.  I even showed a clip of Sieber and me talking about Bares on my 2004 talk show pilot which has never before aired.  You should definitely check it out – on BillyMasters.com/TV or on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV.

Go-Go’s Go Global

Jane was just so cute and sweet and bubbly and her little voice. 
We both had crushes on each other, I guess you could say, but we were
girlfriends for a while.  She was the boss in the relationship. 
I was the new kid in town and it made me feel comfortable. 
Jane broke up with me.  It wasn’t like either one of us were heartbroken or anything. 
You think something like that’s going to fuck with the band?  No way.”
 
Gina Schock recounts the early days of her relationship with Jane Wiedlin in the new documentary, The Go-Go’s.

Get ready for a BIG announcement about Billy Masters – the man and the column.  Back in August 1995, I wrote my very first installment of this column.  Now, I’m no math whiz, but I believe that’s almost a quarter of a century ago.  I know what you’re thinking…and it’s true – I really do look incredible!

In that very first column was a story about The Go-Go’s doing one of their reunion tours:  “What most people didn’t know, however, was that their most loyal fan was none other than Roseanne‘s little girl, Sara Gilbert, who traveled with them city to city and did not miss one performance.  Her connection to the group?  All we will say is that she was spotted accompanying the mother of Gina Schock, The Go-Go’s fab drummer”.  Here we are, 25 years later, and Gina’s finally doling out details of her heretofore shrouded life – courtesy of the new documentary, The Go-Go’s, currently playing on Showtime.  That Gina and Jane once dated (see the opening quote) is a detail glossed over.  However, it is the first time Schock has ever talked about dating a woman.  The doc is a perfect overview to solidify the band’s place in history.  However, it’s not nearly as comprehensive as director Alison Ellwood’s previous two-part documentary about the Eagles.

The Bottom of B&B

Our Ask Billy question comes from Will in Chicago: “I know you watch B&B [The Bold and the Beautiful].  Who is the sexy doctor who is treating Steffi?  I bet he’ll become a regular.”

I bet you’re right!  The sexy doctor in question is Tanner Novlan.  And if he looks familiar, you probably recognize him from that commercial where he cannot properly say the words “Liberty Mutual”!  A few years back, he appeared in the film 1313: Giant Killer Bees, which is apparently notorious for lots of gratuitous flesh.  Here is what one Amazon reviewer said: “While the acting was terrible as well, watching guys massage their bodies both on the bed as well as in the shower with extreme closeups for 20-30 minutes of the movie takes it out of the realm of some steamy flesh to add some heat to the movie to a soft-core porn movie.”  Enough – I’m sold!  Plus, Tanner has quite a lovely body and an even better bottom – as you can see on BillyMasters.com.

Eichner Plays Lynde

Billy Eichner has announced plans to make a biopic about Paul Lynde called Man in a Box.  In announcing the project, Eichner made another pronouncement.  “Gay actors are never, hardly ever, I should say, allowed to play our own gay icons.  Harvey Milk, Freddie Mercury, Elton John.  Where are the gay actors?  And it’s not to take anything away from those performances, which were excellent.  But why don’t we get to tell our own stories?  I don’t think there needs to be a rule, like straight actors can never play gay, but it is so lopsided.  It never works in the other direction.  And we’re not even allowed to play our own heroes.”  No other details have been released…yet.

Mask Wearer Walking

Meanwhile, London just implemented a mandatory face mask law on July 24th.  On that very day, a well-built bloke strolled down Oxford Street wearing a mask…and nothing else.  Oh, did I mention he was wearing the mask as a g-string?  The chap has been revealed to be Tim Shieff and is described as a “champion freerunner”.  More like a freeballer.  He has appeared on Ninja Warrior UK and is a vegan.  I think we’ve just found a future guest for Billy Masters LIVE!  In the meantime, get a load of his load on BillyMasters.com.

Racism and Gay Porn

I’m not the only one with car trouble.  A video just went viral of a guy getting out of his car in NYC to yell the n-word at a man in the street.  Then he attacked the man filming him and smashed his phone.  Happily, the video was spared and fell into the hands of NYC city council candidate Anthony Beckford, who posted it on social media.  “Racist on the Upper East Side.  Find out who this racist person is and let us hold them accountable.  This and any other act of racism will NOT be tolerated”.  The man in question was identified as Joseph O’Brian – aka gay porn performer Dustin Gold.  People called for him to be fired from Helix Studios, which responded by saying, “Dustin Gold has been fired.  He hasn’t worked for us since 2014 and we will not use him in the future.”  I’m not exactly sure how you fire someone who hasn’t worked for you for six years.  Beckford also says, “All of Joe’s films need to be removed.”

The Statue of David Lives

Our Ask Billy question comes from Giorgio from Roma: “Com’è possibile che Pietro Boselli assomigli esattamente alla statua di Davide a Firenze?  Impossibile!  Nessuno sembra cosi.”

Scusatemi, ma la gente di GQ Italia crede che Pietro sia l’incarnazione della statua di Davide – e chi sono io per non essere d’accordo?  In effetti, spero che dimostrando la mia fluidità in italiano (oltre agli altri miei attributi), Boselli potrebbe innamorarsi perdutamente di me.  Certo, potrei sbagliarmi.  Pazienza.  Nel frattempo, puoi vedere la somiglianza tra Pietro e Davide su BillyMasters.com.

Seth & Billy Live

You know what has been giving me enormous pleasure?  Seth Rudetsky.  He does two Stars in the House shows each day with his husband, James Wesley, and has raised oodles of money for the Actors Fund.  He’s also doing weekly online concerts with celebrated artists.  How they are doing it live with him playing the piano in one place and the artist singing in another with no audio lag is something the Filth2Go engineers have yet to master.  But they’ve been terrific.  The one with the amazing Audra McDonald was…well, amazing.  He just did a concert with Norm Lewis which was also spectacular.  Upcoming concerts include Megan Hilty on July 26th and Cheyenne Jackson on August 2nd.  Check them out on TheSethConcertSeries.com.

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Didya know it was Seth who prodded me to do shows online?  When he started doing Stars in the House, I sent him an e-mail of praise.  His response?  “So, why aren’t you doing shows, too?  We’ve got to all pitch in and keep people entertained.”  Now you know who to blame for Billy Masters LIVE!  Last week, we had Rachel Mason, the director of the documentary Circus of Books – about the famed bookstore in West Hollywood which her parents owned.  It was great to hear some behind-the-scenes stories, and even better when we were joined by the store’s current owner, Miss Chi Chi LaRue.  Naturally, we also tackled hard news with New England Cable News commentator, Sue O’ConnellBilly Masters LIVE – your one-stop shopping for news and entertainment.  Every Tuesday and Thursday at 3PM Eastern on BillyMasters.com/TV or at Billy Masters TV on YouTube.

 

Father Finds Crist

Let’s spin the dials of Billy’s Wayback Machine to 2015.  That’s when it was alleged that Father Peter Miqueli stole over $1 million from his church to give to his boyfriend, Keith Crist – a name I couldn’t make up if I tried.  To be more accurate, Crist was a “boyfriend” with an hourly rate.  Crist got his rent paid, got paid extra for “bondage sessions”, was provided what officials call “ChemSex supplies”, and eventually was given a house.  Isn’t this the plot from season 5 of Breaking Bad?  When this all came out, the priest tried to get treatment at what is referred to as a “rehab facility for priests”.  But they turned him down!  Do you know how fucked up you are to be turned down by a “rehab facility for priests”?  Anyway, he recently died.  Or did he?  A police spokesperson said, “Miqueli was found deceased”.  His family doesn’t know where he was found, how he was found, or where he is now.

All About Miss KY

Where have I been?  Somehow, Mary Kay Letourneau died…and I missed it.  Of all the pedophiles, she was my favorite.  Happily, we now have Miss Kentucky.  To be accurate, a former Miss KentuckyRamsey BethAnn Carpenter Bearse wore the sash in 2014.  Since then, she became a teacher.  And, like Miss Letourneau, she got entangled with one of her students.  However, since we’re in the digital age, she didn’t sleep with her student.  Nope, she pleaded guilty to texting him some sexually explicit photos.  According to Bearse, she was trying to send a topless photo to her husband, but accidentally sent it to her 15-year-old student.  This leaves me with two salient questions – 1) do teachers typically have their students’ phone numbers in their cell phones; and b) do teachers typically have topless photos on their phones?  I can assure you my junior high teacher, Miss Toperza, didn’t – unless they were chiseled off the side of Stonehenge!  After realizing her mistake, Bearse sent the student an additional three photos!  Why?  Because he asked for them, and she claims she was “afraid to not appease him.”  If she really wanted to “appease him”…well, then she’d have a whole lot more in common with Letourneau.  Bearse has been sentenced to two years in prison, 10 years of supervised release, and must register as a sex offender for the rest of her life.  But, to be fair, she lives in West Virginia, so she probably fits right in.

Fun fact – Bearse is not the first former Miss Kentucky with a rap sheet.  Three years ago, Kia Hampton, Miss Kentucky 2011, was arrested for smuggling marijuana into an Ohio prison.  Three guesses where she hid it.

Zac Grows Up…And Out

Our Ask Billy question comes from Justin in Chicago: “Where are all these scruffy photos of Zac Efron coming from?  He looks like a cross between an otter and a bear.”

What do you get when you cross an otter and a bear?  Either a very unfulfilled bear, or a really sore otter!  Or, you get Zac Efron in Netflix’s Down to Earth.  In it, he’s playing his most challenging role yet – himself!  “We are traveling around the world to find some new perspectives on some very old problems.  Food, water and energy are all the main staples of modern life.”  Apparently he also traveled without any razors or grooming products!  You can check out how he looks roughing it on BillyMasters.com.

Ian’s Back to the Future

With theatre in a state of suspended animation, it comes as no surprise to us that Sir Ian McKellen has gotten antsy.  So, imagine his delight when he was offered a job.  And in the theatre, no less.  And in a Shakespeare play.  Heaven!  The play?  Hamlet.  Delightful – he has a long history with the show.  Which role?  The ghost?  Polonius?  The second gravedigger?  Nope – Hamlet.  Yes, Sir Ian is once again playing the melancholy prince of Denmark – roughly half a century since his first time as the great Dane.  No one is quite sure when this production will be able to open, but McKellen was happy to commence rehearsals recently.  “So now we will meet again.  Don’t know when, but do know where: Theatre Royal Windsor!”  Note that he invoked the words sung so often by the great Vera Lynn, who passed away a few weeks ago at the age of 103.  I believe she was up for the role of Ophelia!

Mimi’s On The Defense

Two men have come forward claiming that they had unwanted sexual harassment from Mimi Imfurst.  Three years ago, they had several lewd online chats with Mimi.  Imfurst states that he deeply regretted his “ongoing late-night sexual conversations that involved in-depth and often exaggerated cyber role play that although was welcomed by some has made others uncomfortable and used.”  Then a third person came forward, claiming that he was hired to be an unpaid extra in one of Mimi’s videos.  It was being filmed by a pool, and the extras were in skimpy bathing suits.  “She looked me up and down and then proceeded to fondle my genitals through my bathing suit and held on until she was able to feel every part she wanted.  While she did this, she very flirtatiously asked, ‘And who are you?’”  Mimi calls the accusations, “100% false.  I’ve had numerous altercations with [this extra] since Fall 2018.  He has demonstrated a constant pattern of trying to undercut my business, at any cost.  This lie is just another desperate attempt as he seeks professional gain for his own company.” 

Halle Changes Her Mind

Halle Berry really stepped in it this week.  It started, as so many good scandals do, during an Instagram chat with her hairdresser!  When talking about upcoming projects, Halle said, “I’m thinking of a character where the woman is a trans character, so she’s a woman that transitioned into a man.  She’s a character in a project I love that I might be doing.  The project got pitched to me right when I was on the brink of making Bruised, but I so was in the mindset of getting in the body to play that, and I don’t know how long I can play an MMA character, so I had to get that out…but this got pitched to me, and I thought after I do this movie, that’s the character I’m going to play.”

Of course, all hell broke loose – because only a trans person can play a trans character, and only a gay person can play a gay character, and only a straight person can play a straight character, right?  What?  Oh, you mean gay people want to play straight roles?  And trans people would like to also play non-trans roles?  Sorry – everyone must stick to their lane.  Anyway, Halle pulled out of the project.  “Over the weekend I had the opportunity to discuss my consideration of an upcoming role as a transgender man, and I’d like to apologize for those remarks.  As a cisgender woman, I now understand that I should not have considered this role, and that the transgender community should undeniably have the opportunity to tell their own stories.”  And life goes on.

 

Hairspray Star Comes Out

Marc Shaiman is a big supporter of the Black Lives Matter movement.  His musical version of Hairspray tackled racial tensions in Baltimore, circa 1962.  During the climactic “You Can’t Stop the Beat”, Motormouth Mabel sings, “And tomorrow is a brand new day, and it don’t know white from black”.  Shaiman made the following declaration: “But PLEASE note, in all future productions, the colorblindness that was a goal for many years will be improved, and the lyric will now be ‘And tomorrow is a brand new day and it sees both white and black!’”.

Speaking of Hairspray, the star of the film version just came out officially!  No, not John Travolta.  And, no, not Queen Latifah.  The Tracy – Nikki Blonsky.  While this was not news to those of us who know and love her, it was a bold public proclamation from a bold kinda gal.  She made the announcement as only she could.  She posted a video of herself dancing in the yard along to the music of Diane Ross’ “I’m Coming Out”.  The caption was simple.  “Hi, it’s Nikki Blonsky from the movie I’m Gay!”

Back in May, Nikki Blonsky and I excitedly talked about her being on Billy Masters LIVE!  Unfortunately, I planned to only feature out LGBT guests for the month of June.  So I made a note to circle back to Nikki at the end of June.  And then, poof, she came out!  We’ll have her on soon.

Billy & Some Sexy Singers

This past week, Billy Masters LIVE started off on a sexy note.  Tuesday’s show featured Tom Judson (aka Gus Mattox), Florian Klein (aka Hans Berlin), and David Pevsner discussing working in gay erotica and in the legitimate theatre.  A very fun episode with lots of dish.  And then on Thursday, we featured singers Sam Harris and Billy Gilman.  It was my first time: a) having a guest named Billy and 2) “meeting” Gilman.  And the whole show was a complete delight.  Not only did they have so much in common in terms of career trajectory and attitudes about singing, they’re also big fans of each other.  Check us out on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3PM Eastern on YouTube.com/c/BillyMastersTV, or on the TV tab at BillyMasters.com/TV.

 

Ice Ice Cancelled

In a rather bland story, Vanilla Ice planned a concert in Austin called Independence Day Throwback Beach Party – even though it was taking place on Friday, July 3rd.  While venues were shuttered, the beach is connected to a restaurant and doubles as a general admission concert space with a reduced capacity of 2,500 (down from the usual 5K).  With all these loopholes, the show could go on…but not without criticism.  The Travis County Health Department issued the following warning: “The best way to be nostalgic is protecting your parents and grandparents and staying home.”  The event ended up being “postponed”.  The promoter said, “Due to the increase in Covid-19 numbers in Austin, we’re gonna move the concert to a better date.”  It should be noted that Ice played the same venue last year and sold 1,800 tickets.  For this show, a whopping 84 tickets were sold!

By the way, the people of Texas are getting real ornery about the pandemic.  Since most public places have been shut down in light of the spiking number of Covid cases, a group of bar owners (once again in Austin) organized a grassroots movement called Bar Lives Matter.  In addition to publicly protesting, they plan to sue the governor!  These folk feel they’re being singled out and vilified.  “No other businesses are being shut down.  It’s wrong and affecting the livelihood of hundreds of thousands across the state.”  Not so fast – turns out the governor also shut down numerous rafting and tubing establishments.  Back to the ol’ swimming hole.

 

Ptown vs. Fire Island

After months of being incredibly careful and staying away from virtually all humanity, I’ve thrown the whole wind into the caution and ventured back into the real world.  Well, Provincetown.  While this isn’t the Ptown of yore (or mine), it’s still lovely to get away.  But is it even Provincetown?  Certainly not a typical July 4th.  But the businesses are making the best of things.  Bars that were unable to open because they don’t serve food suddenly added sandwiches to their menu.  Regardless, all eateries must close by 11PM, at which point the streets basically roll up.  So, while it’s still lovely, don’t judge Ptown by this summer.

Meanwhile, reports indicate that Fire Island is as busy as ever.  One particular person joined in the 4th celebrations while knowing he had Covid.  I won’t name him or vilify him because, surely he wasn’t the only positive person there.  Many of these vacationers probably have the coronavirus – they just haven’t been tested.  But that doesn’t make them any less contagious.  I simply say what I said during the AIDS crisis – assume everyone is positive and act accordingly.  You can still enjoy your life and be somewhat social while also being safe.

 

Dutch Strippers Wood

This week, our Ask Billy question comes from Liam in London: “One of the papers here in England talked about a television show somewhere in Europe which featured male strippers from The Full Monty actually going all the way.  Is it true?  And if so, can you find the video?”

You’ve gotta love the Dutch – they gave us wooden shoes, and wood in our shorts.  That is, if you happened to be watching Beau van Erven Dorens’ late-night gabfest, Beau Live.  But, I must correct Liam – the strippers were not appearing in a musical.  They are The Sugar Boys, a strip troupe that performs throughout the low lands with some high entertainment.  They started their routine with “You Can Leave Your Hat On” and segued into “Pony”.  By the time it ended, the foursome had stripped to their “Beau”-emblazoned undies.  You would think that would be the end of it, but then three of the guys decided to go a bit further and doffed their drawers and showed off their cock-ring encased semis – at least they seemed like semis to me.  You can see all on BillyMasters.com.

Laugh with Billy Masters

What is my personal involvement in this story?  I’ll tell you about that on Billy Masters LIVE – which is appropriate for this week because all of my guests are musicians.  On Tuesday, we have David Pevsner and Tom Judson (occasionally known as porn megastar, Gus Mattox).  And on Thursday, we have Sam Harris and Billy Gilman.  Quite interesting pairings on so many levels, so you should definitely tune in – either by clicking on the TV link on BillyMasters.com/TV – or YouTube.com/c/BillyMastersTV.

While you’re online, you might wanna check out last week’s shows.  On Tuesday, we had David Drake on to talk about the online fundraiser for the Provincetown Theater.  Joining us were Charles Busch, who gave David his first big break, and Wesley Taylor, who appeared in the all-star version of The Night Larry Kramer Kissed Me.  On Thursday’s show, we had Frank DeCaro for another discussion about his Drag volume.  This time, we were joined by a trio of amazing performers – Alaska Thunderfuck, Chad Michaels, and Kay Sedia.  I don’t like to play favorites, but I can’t remember a show where I’ve laughed as much.  It was not only educational, but also the most fun I’ve had in a very long time.  If you wanna laugh – and perhaps learn a thing or two – check it out.

Scenes Scrubbed on TV

Racial issues continue to be news everywhere – even in entertainment.  Tina Fey has asked syndicators to remove several episodes of 30 Rock because they contain instances of blackface.  Scrubs made a similar move.  Kristen Bell will no longer voice the biracial Molly on Central Park, and Jenny Slate will no longer voice Missy on Big Mouth.  I’m sure by the time this column is published, many more instances will join the list.  As usual, the gays were ahead of the curve on this one.  How long have members of the LGBT community wanted gay roles to be played by gay actors?  Which always begs the question – does that mean that only straight actors can play straight roles?  Weren’t we fighting for the freedom to play any role?  And wasn’t colorblind casting about making all roles available to all ethnicities?  It’s almost to the point that a male will have to drop his drawers before being cast as a Jew.  If someone gets to audition those folks, I have an extensive resume and an exhaustive list of recommendations.

By the by, The Dixie Chicks are no longer The Dixie Chicks.  They are now simply The Chicks.  At this rate, might I suggest stocking up on Dixie Cups…just in case.

 

Gay Flags Everywhere

At the beginning of June, Big Mama Masters showed me a story on the cover of the Boston Globe about the Unity Flag – which, for those of you who don’t know, is a more inclusive Pride flag.  It’s the traditional rainbow flag, but with a triangle on the left side in black, brown, light blue, pink and white, representing people of color as well as trans individuals.  Well, Big Mama thought this was “so pretty” and had such a great message, she wanted me to go online and order her a big one for the front of the house.  I admit, I rolled my eyes – I’m not a flag kinda guy (you should have seen my eyes when the people across the street put up a flagpole for their US flag, illuminated 24/7 by klieg lights).  Here’s the interesting part – today, I noticed that the people down the street (who I don’t believe have a gay person in their household) have installed the Unity Flag on their porch.

You know where you don’t expect to see any kind of Pride flag?  On a federal government building during the reign of El Presidente.  And yet, one overseas embassy had one in front.  Oh, did I mention it was the US Embassy in Moscow?  Yes, there was the traditional Pride flag, flying proudly within spitting distance of Vladimir Putin – and you know he spat when he saw it.  Not only did the US Ambassador to Russia, John Sullivan, sanction the flag, he also posted a photo of it on the embassy’s official Instagram page, saying (in Russian), “Today, the US Embassy in Russia honors the LGBTI Pride Flag during the #PrideFlagDay celebration.”

Jenifer’s a Star

Last week, Jimmy Kimmel was named as both host and executive producer of the Emmy Awards – assuming there will be an Emmy Awards.  Days later, there was an outcry against him.  Why?  Because 20 years ago, he wore blackface to play basketball star Karl Malone on The Man Show.  Not only are people complaining about the character, but they are calling Kimmel on the carpet for being part of a show that was anti-woman.  It was also noted that another late-night Jimmy – Jimmy Fallon – wore blackface to play Chris Rock on Saturday Night Live.  Fallon immediately apologized.  “I am very sorry for making this unquestionable offensive decision and thank all of you for holding me accountable.”  As for Kimmel, he’s taking the summer off and will employ guest hosts. 

What a roller coaster it was for Black-ish.  Last week, ABC announced that while the sitcom was being renewed, it would return as a midseason replacement in order to make room for a new sitcom – Call Your Mother starring Kyra Sedgwick.  It was a questionable choice in these days of intense racial scrutiny (to say nothing of it happening within 48 hours of Juneteenth).  It didn’t take long for ABC to change their tune.  Black-ish will return in the fall.  The network decided that “it was important to tell these meaningful stories during this moment in time.”

In a move that nobody found controversial, Black-ish star Jenifer Lewis (my Play Mama) will be the recipient of a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!  The honor, bestowed upon great entertainers by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce (based on fan petitions) will take place sometime in 2021.  May I recommend July 15th?

Pride on Billy LIVE

Way back in 2013, an all-star cast assembled in NYC to celebrate the 20th anniversary of David Drake’s play, The Night Larry Kramer Kissed Me.  The event served as a benefit for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, and starred Drake alongside such performers as Anthony Rapp, BD Wong, Robin de Jesús, André De Shields, and Rory O’Malley.  An archival video from that night will be live streamed to raise money for the Provincetown Theater – where Drake is artistic director.  Check out the company’s website of ProvincetownTheater.org on June 28th.

You can get a taste of David Drake when he joins us this week on Billy Masters LIVE.  The multi-hyphenate Drake, a dear friend of yours truly, will appear on Tuesday, June 23rd.  But he won’t be alone – no, there will be some surprise guests.  You’ll just have to tune in to find out who.  While we’re tooting our own horn, on Thursday, June 25th, Frank DeCaro will return to regale us with stories from his encyclopedic volume, Drag: Combing Through the Big Wigs of Show Business.  And he’ll be joined by two legendary performers – Alaska Thunderfuck and Chad Michaels.  Be sure to check out BillyMasters.com/TV, or Billy Masters TV on YouTube.

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We just wrapped up another interesting week on Billy Masters LIVE.  On Tuesday, we featured anchormen Thomas Roberts and Steve Kmetko to discuss the changing face of television.  It was fascinating when you consider the three of us span three decades in age, and yet our stories were all remarkably similar.  On Thursday, we had Eddie Shapiro discussing his Broadway book, Nothing Like a Dame, alongside Tony Award winner Levi Kreis.  We talked about where Broadway has been, where it’s going, and what to do with Levi (I dreamt up a few more suggestions the other night).  You can see it all on BillyMasters.com/TV – or YouTube.com/c/BillyMastersTV.

Product Spokespersons

I hope that nobody reads Billy Masters’ column for great insights on race relations.  Last week, my dear friend Jenifer Lewis took me to task in a loving, but firm way.  “Of course you need to be told these things because they’re not part of your background…but you shouldn’t need to be told these things.”  So, whether I should or shouldn’t know everything about racial inequality, I am making an effort.

I’ve been reading with great interest about this Aunt Jemima controversy.  I am old enough to remember seeing the pancake purveyor dressed with a kerchief in her hair.  I also remember 1989, when she got a makeover – the kerchief came off, she put on lipstick and pearl earrings, and kinda resembled Roxie Roker from The Jeffersons.  Once again, Jemima is getting a makeover – she’s being completely erased.  This made me wonder – if they replace a glamorous African-American woman with someone like Ann B. Davis or Shirley Booth, who does that help?  It surely doesn’t help the family of Anna Short Harrington – the lady who portrayed the venerable Aunt from 1935 to 1954.  Anna was the great-grandmother of Larnell Evans Sr., and he’s pissed off.  “This is an injustice for me and my family.  This is part of my history, sir” – one always takes note of someone who uses the word “sir”.  “This woman served all those people…and it was AFTER slavery.  She worked as Aunt Jemima.  That was her job.  How do you think I feel as a Black man sitting here telling you about my family history they’re trying to erase?” 

So I delved deeper and learned about some other famous faces used to purvey products.  Like Uncle Ben.  Didya know he was based on an African-American farmer in Texas who supplied above-average rice to the US military?  The man pictured on the package is Frank Brown, the maitre d’hôtel of an elite Chicago restaurant.  In 2007, the character of Ben was upgraded from a rice grower to the chairman of the board.  Then there’s Frank L. White.  He was born in Barbados and immigrated to the US in 1875.  He achieved such renown as a master chef, he was recruited to become the face of Rastus, the chef on the box of Cream of Wheat.  To me – admittedly a white male of dubious privilege – I see these as iconic symbols to be learned from.  But soon, they’ll all be erased.  Progress.

Comedy and Covid

Remember the coronavirus?  While I continue to wear a mask wherever I go, I see more and more people eschewing the confining accoutrement and simply throwing the wind into the caution.  I was under the impression that the first entertainment venues considering re-opening were cinemas (as if I’d risk life and limb to see the upcoming Russell Crowe release).  Then I read of DL Hughley collapsing onstage.  You may ask – where on God’s green earth is a comedy club open to a live audience?  In Nashville, Tennessee (they’ve apparently been open since May 28th).  Before I go on, may I say that I mean no disrespect to anyone – but pandemic or no pandemic, you could not pay me to leave my house to see DL Hughley.  During his SECOND show of the evening (he also did two shows the previous night), Hughley paused, leaned on his stool, and collapsed onto the floor.  The capacity audience at Zanies in Nashville was shocked.  That continued the following day when they learned that Hughley – who had only hours before been spewing verbal barbs in their general direction – had also been spewing corona-laden saliva!

Hughley’s set was part of the Juneteenth Social Awareness-Thon, which also featured Snoop Dogg, Anthony Anderson, and others performing from their respective locales.  It was sponsored by Master Growers CBD and was a fundraiser for their Clean Hands for All campaign to provide 1.5 million bottles of hand sanitizer to people in inner cities.  If Nashville wasn’t on that list before, it is now.

 

Cuomo’s Nude Stroll

Our Ask Billy question comes from James in San Francisco.  “I’ve been hearing about this nude video of Chris Cuomo.  Do you have it?  He’s SO freakin’ hawt.”

According to various sources, the newsman could be seen roaming around naked outside of his house during his wife’s yoga video.  But did it actually happen?  Hard to say.  Said wife does indeed film yoga videos, and they are often shot in front of a large window that looks onto their yard.  But the video in question was allegedly deleted.  However, a still said to have been taken from that installment shows the back of a naked man.  Could it be Chris?  Sure.  Could it be doctored?  Also sure.  I’ll post the photo on BillyMasters.com and you can decide for yourself.

When a tree fell in my neighborhood and nobody heard it (but this someone took a photo), it’s time for me to end yet another column. I must take a moment to remember Bonnie Pointer.  Heaven must have sent her to form The Pointer Sisters.  Eventually she went solo, because Bonnie always marched to the beat of her own drummer. I was fortunate to interview her alongside sisters Ruth and Anita a few months ago.  More recently, I did an extended, emotional interview with Anita Pointer on Billy Masters LIVE.  We’ll post those on YouTube.com/c/BillyMastersTV.  You can find all of our columns and our shows on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is proud 24/7.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before we find a video of Chris Cuomo doing downward dog.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

LA Pride@50 with Billy

Last week, we celebrated 50 years of Pride on Billy Masters LIVE.  Since I co-hosted LA Pride for many years alongside drag legend Momma, it was fitting that she joined me as co-host of this special episode.  Along with various people who worked behind the scenes, Pauley Perrette dropped in to discuss helping out year after year, as did the fabulous Willam.  And our 2008 headliner, the legendary Olivia Newton-John, also showed up.  I was glad to commemorate 50 years of Pride – even virtually.  Another special episode was devoted to the late Joan Rivers.  That one included many people who knew and worked with her, including Jackie Beat, Charles Busch, Dan Glosser, and the greatest of all Joan Rivers impersonators, Frank Marino.  Check out BillyMasters.com/TV – or YouTube.com/c/BillyMastersTV.

This coming week, we celebrate even more history.  In 2015, Thomas Roberts became the first openly gay person to anchor a network evening newscast.  He’s had a fascinating career, so we’re thrilled to have him join Steve Kmetko in a discussion of how the landscape of television has changed over the years.  We will also welcome Levi Kreis, who performed at LA Pride in 2007 and won the Tony Award for Million Dollar Quartet in 2010.  Be sure to tune into Billy Masters LIVE – Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3PM Eastern, Noon Pacific on YouTube.

Adam Rippon for Okra

The subject of trans people, minorities, and sports came together when Olympic skater Adam Rippon announced that he had donated to The Okra Project, a charity benefiting black transgender people.  After news of his donation went public, another Olympian had something to say.  In a now-deleted Instagram photo (which we have on our website), Russian skater Alexei Yagudin wrote, “Fuck, Adam.  When will you die?  Earth’s mistake.”  Rippon, no stranger to criticism or hatred, responded, “Because of that I feel INSPIRED to donate another $1000 to the @TheOkraProject but this time, in his name.”  Perhaps the donation should have been made in rubles.

Black Lives Matter to Mitt

Then there’s Mitt Romney.  Being a native Bostonian, I have a long history with Mr. Romney.  While I have not agreed with him on many issues, he strikes me as someone who does what he believes is right – even if it may not be what’s right for him.  And he certainly doesn’t pander.  In the recent past, Romney has done more good than most politicians – starting with breaking party lines to impeach El Presidente.  And last week, he marched with Black Lives Matter.  Sure, there’s no way to know if he’s being sincere, but at least he’s doing the right thing.  So just for that, I say bravo, Mitt.  If Joe Biden really wants to make a statement about unity, why not reach across the aisle and ask Romney to be his VP?  Yes, I know he promised to choose a woman.  If Mitt really wants to heal our nation, he could get a teensy little procedure.

Derulo’s penis…again!

Our Ask Billy question comes from Gary in Maine.  “Did you see Jason Derulo as Spiderman?  What is it about him and his penis?  Why is he always showing it off?”

If you had Jason Derulo’s penis, wouldn’t you be showing it off?  In the video, Jason is winched into a snug Spiderman costume, which features something Tobey Maguire never had – a large, cylindrical mass cutting across his nether regions.  Perhaps we should feel sorry for Derulo.  Maybe he’s one of those guys who is simply always hard.  I’ve known men like this – such a burden, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

Lea did what in a wig?

Then there’s Lea Michele, who I always heard was “difficult”.  Then we heard from Samantha Ware, who appeared on Glee.  In response to a Tweet Lea made last week about standing with the protesters, Ware wrote (in all CAPS, which I will change): “Remember when you made my first television gig a living hell?  Cause Ill never forget.  I believe you told everyone that if you had the opportunity you would ‘shit in my wig’ amongst other traumatic microagressions that made me question a career in Hollywood.”  Similar stories were shared by Amber Riley, Melissa Benoist, Alex Newell, and Willam Belli.  Michele’s response?  “Whether it was my privileged position and perspective that cause me to be perceived as insensitive or inappropriate at times or whether it was just my immaturity and me just being unnecessarily difficult, I apologize for my behavior and for any pain which I have caused.  We can all grow and change and I have definitely used these past several months to reflect on my own shortcomings.”  This sounds kinda like an apology I once gave to a close friend.  “I don’t know what you’re angry about, and I don’t think I did anything wrong.  But I’m sorry you’re upset.”  Thanks…no thanks.

Meghan and the Facts

I often feel Meghan McCain is the target of unfair vitriol.  But she most certainly stepped in it.  Last week, The View was on vacation – something which really fucked up my schedule.  It’s hard enough for me to keep track of what day it is.  Eating breakfast without The View only happens on weekends!  After last week’s riots, Megan posted, “My neighborhood in Manhattan is eviscerated and looks like a war zone.”  The first sign that things were not as they appeared was that the Tweet was posted from Virginia!  Then someone Tweeted back: “Meghan, we live in the same building, and I just walked outside.  It’s fine.”  McCain backpedaled (while also doubling down): “I sent a Tweet yesterday based on the news.”  Did she?  She didn’t say, “I hear my neighborhood in Manhattan is eviscerated and looks like a war zone.”  Her initial Tweet was presented as a fact – based on no facts at all.

I have trouble with people who can’t simply say, “Oops, I was wrong – sorry.”  Roger Goodell, commissioner of the NFL, said, “We, the NFL, admit we were wrong for not listening to NFL players earlier and encourage all to speak out and peacefully protest.  We, the NFL, believe black lives matter.  I personally protest with you and want to be part of the much needed change in this country.”  Bravo.

 

Lady Graham & the Hooker

For years, people have whispered that Lindsey Graham is gay.  I can’t say he is or isn’t – I never fucked him (but that’s hardly a litmus test).  The Republican senator from South Carolina was the target of claims initiated by gay porn star Sean Harding.  “There is a homophobic republican senator who is no better than Trump who keeps passing legislation that is damaging to the lgbt and minority communities.  Every sex worker I know has been hired by this man.  Wondering if enough of us spoke out if that could get him out of office?”  Sean then Tweeted, “I cannot do this alone.  If you’d be willing to stand with me against LG please let me know.”  LG stands for “Lady Graham” – allegedly the nickname hookers use for Lindsey.  Harding added that every news network wants to interview him, and high-profile attorneys are offering their services.  If Sean offers his services, I’m in!

Why is this all happening now?  I don’t believe it’s Graham’s support for El Presidente.  Nor do I think it’s his seemingly racist views.  I believe it’s because, for the first time since becoming a Senator (in 2003), he is in danger of losing his job.  Many polls predict that a young, black Democrat could beat Lindsey in November.  Days after this column comes out, South Carolina will have their primary.  When the dust settles, Jaime Harrison will likely be the Democratic nominee.  Some suggest this would not be the first time Graham would be up against a young, black man – but to make such a claim would be beneath me.  It also may not be the first time Graham was beneath a young, black man!

Adding her formidable voice to the fray, Patti LuPone has some advice for Graham.  “On a personal note, why don’t you just bite the bullet and come out?  You might just come to your senses.”  The unmarried Graham has rarely addressed the rumors.  The most he’s ever said was to TMZ – “To the extent that it matters, I’m not gay.”  What about to the extent that it doesn’t matter?

 

Get Into Grand’s Undies

Our Ask Billy question comes from Paul in San Diego.  “Is it true that Steve Grand is designing underwear and swimwear?”

After years of showing off in others’ wares, it’s high time Grand winched himself into his own.  He’s designed a collection of various styles of swimwear, underwear, activewear, and even a thong under the moniker Grand Axis.  Alas, with factories being closed, he has no products to ship out and his hands are tied.  Hmmm…Steve Grand, in a thong, hands tied.  There’s a photo you likely won’t see on BillyMasters.com – but we’ll show off the rest of his assets.

Cheyenne Jackson’s Secret

Cheyenne Jackson recently said something that shocked even moi!  The dashing and debonair dude revealed that over the course of 14 years, he’s had FIVE hair transplant procedures.  Not only that, but he posted photos showing the scars!  “I started losing my hair around 22.  My older brother was balding too, but was way braver & cooler & just shaved his off.  It was really emotional for me to watch it fall out & I felt less attractive & truly less like myself as the days went on, so I saved up and got my first surgery at 28.”  That led to several more procedures.  “Why did I care so much?  What does that say about me?  Being a vain actor in an industry that rewards beauty, I vowed to keep this my secret forever.  I feel SO stupid saying that but it’s my truth.”  He would take hair and makeup people aside and share his secret.  Their response?  “Ummm… yeah… so?”  Cheyenne sums it up by saying, “I’m sharing because maybe this will inspire someone out there to share a secret they’ve been hiding, or show a scar that they’ve been afraid of anyone seeing.  Let it go.  What I’ve learned during this pandemic is that shit like this just doesn’t matter.”  Of course, it’s easy for him to say that now with a good head of hair – to say nothing of a career and a hot husband.  Would he feel the same with wisps of hair or a shaved head?  Who knows?  That’s beyond my pay grade.

People’s Couch & Billy

It was a big week on Billy Masters LIVE!.  Throughout the pandemic, we’ve been doing live shows on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3PM Eastern (noon Pacific).  Last week, a staggering number of people took a little time to enjoy Billy Masters…LIVE!  Of course, I can’t take all the credit.  On Thursday, two of my favorite funny people were guests – Judy Gold and Wendy Liebman.  But it was Tuesday’s show that really grabbed the fans’ attention.  My guests were Emerson Collins, Blake McIver, and Scott Nevins – who, collectively, possess roughly half my body fat.  They couldn’t have been nicer…or dishier.  Emerson was producing an all-star reading of Del ShoresSordid Lives to benefit small theatre companies (you’ve already missed that one); on June 5th, Scott Nevins will host Voices of Hope: Together We Thrive, a live streaming glittering event to benefit the Desert AIDS Project; the following night, Blake McIver brings his Barbra Streisand tribute concert to the web.  You can find more details and watch the shows on BillyMasters.com/TV or on our YouTube channel.

As to the shows this week, we celebrate my 16th wedding anniversary to porn superstar, Kurt Young.  We’ll also have Frank DeCaro, who wrote the book, Drag: Combing Through the Big Wigs of Show BusinessLady Bunny will hop in to talk about her upcoming special.  You never know who’ll pop up on Billy Masters LIVE!

 

RIP Larry Kramer

Ever since I came out – in 1986 – Larry Kramer has been saying he’s dying.  34 year later, he did just that.  At the age of 84 (a respectable age for anyone to die), a man who changed the world passed away.  I suspect he didn’t go peacefully – nothing Larry did was peaceful.  He fought to start the Gay Men’s Health Crisis in NYC, he fought to start ACT UP, he fought to get his play The Normal Heart produced, and he fought Barbra Streisand to regain the rights when she couldn’t make a film of the play.  By all accounts, Larry wasn’t an easy person to be around.  But you’d sure want him in your corner when the chips were down.  In a very few short months, we’ve lost three pivotal voices for our community: Larry Kramer, Terrence McNally, and Mart Crowley.  Throw in Jerry Herman and Roy Horn, and you’ve got a mighty dramatic musical with an animal act!  Rest in peace.

One of the people who remembered Larry Kramer was Dr. Anthony Fauci.  Here is an extended quote: “This is a very sad day, not only for me, but for many people who’ve had the opportunity to deal with Larry Kramer.  He was a most unusual figure in a very positive sense.  He was a firebrand.  He had extraordinary courage to speak out and challenge the system that was in place at the time of the early years of HIV/AIDS.  As a government official who was trying to do a job to address this, he saw me as the face of the federal government.  And we became adversaries.  I wasn’t an adversary to him, but boy, he was an adversary to me.  He attacked me, he called me a murderer, he called me an incompetent idiot – I mean publicly.  But then, as I got to listen to what he had to say, I realized that he was making some important points that we in the establishment needed to listen to.  We became, gradually, friends.  And then we became very good friends.  And then we became colleagues in the struggle.  So it turned out that, you know, I loved the guy.  And I think he loved me back.”  Once again, wise words from Dr. Fauci.

Double Fisted Fawcett

Our Ask Billy question comes from Danny in Denver.  “What do you know about Christopher Fawcett?  He’s an underwear model and absolutely gorgeous.”

You didn’t ask, but you’ll probably be pleased to hear that Fawcett is openly gay.  HOORAY!  He’s also openly married.  BOO!  To fill in some other blanks, he’s 34 years old, lives in NYC, and has modeled extensively for DKNY and CK.  But, please, don’t limit Fawcett to undies.  He’s also happy to pose in nothing at all – as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When you’ll need two hands to turn this Fawcett, it’s definitely time to get out the elbow grease and end yet another column.  You may not be stuck at home, but you’ll still need some entertainment.  Might I suggest you check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t require social distancing.  And, of course, go to our YouTube channel of Billy Masters TV and subscribe.  I’ll make it worth your while.  For details on how, drop a note to me at  Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Macy’s opens up a back room.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Bombshell in Concert

Did you all watch Bombshell in Concert?  It was without question one of the most THRILLING things I’ve ever seen.  For those who don’t know, Bombshell was a musical about Marilyn Monroe that was being staged in the NBC series Smash.  After the series was cancelled, fans clamored for a stage version of Bombshell.  This concert performance of that score (written by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman) was a benefit in 2015 for The Actors Fund – and was fortuitously filmed professionally for archival purposes.  Although it wasn’t televised on NBC (where Smash aired), it was livestreamed on People Magazine’s website – also as a benefit for The Actors Fund (to watch it, click here).  Since it was a benefit, union rules only allowed a week for some vocal and dance rehearsal in a studio, and then a few hours in the theatre the day of the show itself.  Despite this tight schedule – to say nothing of the fact that the concert happened two years after the series’ demise – everything was picture-perfect, including the thrilling choreography of Joshua Bergasse.  The fact that Megan Hilty was effortless was expected from this Broadway vet.  It was Katharine McPhee – at that point, a Broadway newbie – who blew me away.  She handled intricate vocals during difficult dancing with aplomb.  And it’s impossible for me to let a Smash item end without noting the presence of the dreamy Wesley Taylor.

For you Smash/Bombshell fans, I have good news and bad news.  After numerous efforts, coming up with a cohesive book for a Marilyn Monroe musical that would include all of the score has proven impossible.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is that the original producers have announced plans for a musical based on Smash the series, which would retain most of the score.  Should this happen, it could mean that there would be two Marilyn Monroe-centric musicals on Broadway at the same time – both written by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman.  The duo has also written a musical version of Some Like It Hot, which is set for a Broadway bow in 2021.

 

Lori & Moss – Guilty

You know who has given up?  Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli.  You’ll recall that Lori and Mossimo were implicated in Operation Varsity Blues, where parents tried to buy their kids’ way into colleges.  The Loughlin-Giannullis spent roughly half a MILLION dollars to get their dippy daughters into USC.  Although I don’t care about them, I’d really enjoy seeing Lori and Moss serve considerable jail time.  After all, they pleaded not guilty repeatedly (versus Felicity Huffman, who quickly admitted guilt, apologized, did her time, and moved on).  The couple also unsuccessfully tried to get the case thrown out of court – going so far as to force the FBI to disclose whatever evidence they had.  When the Feds revealed text messages and photos, the couple suddenly changed their tune.  Too little, too late, if you ask me.  Throw the book at them – preferably a book that’s been sitting in a crowded supermarket for a while.

Batwoman Flies Away

Time for a Whodunit!  Ruby Rose, who plays the title character in Batwoman, abruptly quit the CW show days after the show was picked up for a second season.  The producers vow to recast!  Why is Ruby leaving?  Lots of rumors are circulating – including one about her being injured during a stunt and deciding she wasn’t going to risk permanent physical damage.  But people whisper that’s not the real reason.  Allegedly there was a “personality conflict”.  Between whom?  My sources are mum, but I’m not one to give up that easily.

Matt Goss Goes Nude

Our Ask Billy question comes from Chris in Pennsylvania: “Who is Matt Goss?  I think I read about him in your column.  Did you see the photos of him wearing a cock sock?  He looks enormous.”

Matt was a member of the UK pop group Bros, and has since been a solo artist, with a residency in Las Vegas (and, yes, we know each other).  He’s also mighty hot and obviously a fitness fanatic.  As to the cock sock, here’s what happened.  Matt was a guest on the UK chat show, Celebrity Juice.  During a game, he was dared to play the guitar naked.  He retreated to his room, and returned brandishing a guitar which covered his genitals.  Fellow panelist Mel B. insisted on proof that Matt was nude.  At that point, Goss lifted his guitar to show his rod and staff snugly ensconced in a rather thick tube sock.  You can see all on BillyMasters.com.

 

Laughs @ Billy Masters Live

Last week’s installments of Billy Masters LIVE were amongst my favorites.  But the week got off to a rocky start.  Hours before Tuesday’s show, a guest cancelled.  At the last minute, Alec Mapa jumped in to save the day.  I then invited Bruce Vilanch and Jackie Beat to join in the fun, and what fun it was!  Speaking of fun, Broadway diva Faith Prince was a dream of a guest.  I knew she was brilliantly talented and delightfully daffy – but I had no idea we’d get deep into the minutiae of her career and craft.  A really fascinating interview.  Being joined by drag diva and vocalist extraordinaire Randy Roberts certainly didn’t hurt!  I surprised them both with buddy John McDaniel, who even sang a song for Prince.  Great shows continue on our YouTube channel at Billy Masters TV.

Here’s a brief plug about this week’s shows.  Many of you Broadway buffs know all the drama surrounding the musical Seesaw.  Both original star Lainie Kazan and her replacement – and best friend – Michele Lee have discussed this openly.  But they’ve never sat down and talked about it together…until now.  A Billy Masters Exclusive.  And on Thursday, we have a stack of questions for legal eagle Gloria Allred – including why we were photographed dancing – and why she let me dip her!  Find out Thursday…on Billy Masters LIVE (easily accessible on BillyMasters.com/TV).

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