Category Archives: Breaking

Gay Porn Gets Physical

Given the year we’ve had, it was probably difficult for lots of people to spend a day giving thanks.  And yet, Thanksgiving 2020 reminded many how fortunate we are…especially in light of the grim alternatives.  Leave it to a gay porn performer to find the silver lining.  Pierce Paris (a name I’ve never heard before) took to Twitter and demonstrated how he could get stuffed by a turkey.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Making use of some MacGyver skills – to say nothing of some limber limbs – Pierce found there’s more than one way to truss a turkey…drumsticks and all!

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We have time for a very brief Ask Billy question.  Danny in Phoenix asks, “I’m a big MMA fan, and heard Simon Marini started doing gay porn.  Have you seen the videos?  Is he gay?”

First, let me come to grips with the fact that a fan of Billy Masters is also an MMA enthusiast!  As to Simon Marini, he is known in fighting circles as The Mutant.  His porn work is done under the name of Markus Kage.  His latest career move was a logical step after years of modeling and stripping – which he started to help with depression.  You’ll be depressed when I tell you he has a girlfriend.  That said, he’s still allowed many guys to do many things to him that many wouldn’t – and those guys include Pierce Paris.  Oh, yes – this straight MMA fighter is getting mounted by a guy who was previously assaulted by a turkey!  You can see love with all the trimmings on BillyMasters.com.

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When all our items cum together, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I may not know anything about martial arts, but I do know where you can find the hottest guys.  On www.BillyMasters.com – the site where no belts of any color are necessary.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Pierce Paris shows us what he can do with a Yule log!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Holidays Gifts & Specials

Billy Masters LIVE is celebrating the “Divas of December”.  This Thursday, we get into the holiday season with Darlene Love!  She usually spends the holidays performing to capacity crowds all over the country.  Due to circumstances, this year she filmed a special concert with her band.  Love for the Holidays debuts on December 5th and, of course, includes “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”.  Watch it on SonyHall.com.

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Speaking of divas, Sheryl Lee Ralph is a warrior in the fight against AIDS.  On December 5th, she’ll be celebrating the 30th anniversary of her fundraiser, Divas Simply Singing, with proceeds going to Project Angel Food.  Tune in for the virtual event at DivasSimplySinging.com or in Southern California on KTLA at 7PM Pacific.

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You all know Matthew Morrison as Mr. Schuester in Glee.  But to me, he’ll always be the original (and best) Link in the Broadway musical, Hairspray.  A whole new generation will get to know him as the title character in Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Musical.  The musical, which has been staged on Broadway, will be coming to our homes courtesy of NBC on December 9th.

If you’re curious what happened to little Cindy Lou Who after that fateful night, check out Who’s Holiday!  The play, written by Matthew Lombardo, prevailed in a lengthy court battle against Mrs. Dr. Seuss and was deemed a First Amendment protected parody.  The 2017 off-Broadway run starred Lesli Margherita as Miss Who recounting her sordid history after that night with the Grinch – and it was a RIOT!  A video will stream on December 11th at 8PM Eastern and raise money for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.  To watch, go to BroadwayCares.org.

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This leads us perfectly into the first of Billy’s Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions for 2020.  For lo these many years, I have assisted the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to find gifts for their loved ones (and some obligatory others).  Each of my selections has that certain je ne sais quoi that could only come from moi – someone who is filled with lots of quoi!  Keeping with tradition, we kick things off with one of my favorite gifts.  Every year, Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS releases a collectible Broadway Legends holiday ornament.  Previous ceramic celebs have included Carol Channing, Barbra Streisand, Bernadette Peters, Patti LuPone, Angela Lansbury, and oodles of others.  This year, Glenn Close is ready for her close-up in Sunset Boulevard.  “I’m sure Norma Desmond would be thrilled to be a gorgeous Christmas ornament – as long as she is hung in good light!” said Close, who I’m sure was lit by Hog Eye.  You can grab her doppelgänger at BroadwayCares.org.

There aren’t many singers as shimmery as the angelic Liz Callaway – who most of you know from numerous Broadway and animated classics.  Now, she’s stepping into the holiday arena with Comfort and Joy – An Acoustic Christmas.  This is a perfect way to get into the spirit of the season with a collection of original and classic carols – and a perfect complement to her 2013 release, Merry and Bright.  Grab them both on LizCallaway.com or Amazon.com.

Thanksgiving Surprise

You know how Billy Masters LIVE was taking two weeks off for Thanksgiving?  Surprise – we did a special live broadcast on Thanksgiving itself, which you’d have known about if you subscribed for free to our YouTube channel.  On All Thanksgiving Eve, I was struck by the many social media posts from people who were sad to be spending the holiday alone.  Even I, your beloved Billy, was in the same boat – all alone in the sumptuous Filth2Go Beach House in Fort Lauderdale.  So, I thought why not be alone together?  I reached out to the divine Charles Busch and we decided to regale viewers with some gabbing and gossiping.  More than 3,000 people have tuned in as of this writing.  One fan dashed off an incredibly heartfelt thank you note which made it all worthwhile.  You can watch all of our shows on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV.  Or just go to BillyMasters.com/TV.

Rewriting History

Continuing the theatre of the absurd known as the American political system, El Presidente got a rude awakening in Wisconsin.  After spending about $3 million on a recount, he received some shocking results – Joe Biden’s margin of victory was actually wider!  Now, if only someone would launch an investigation into voter fraud at Dancing with the Stars.  Some skullduggery was certainly afoot.

Representative Matt Gaetz – you remember him, the one who revealed he adopted a “son” – gave El Presidente some unsolicited advice.  “President Trump should pardon Flynn, the Thanksgiving turkey, and everyone from himself, to his admin, to Joe Exotic if he has to.”  How very Netflix of him.  And how retro of Gaetz to still be talking Tiger King when everyone else has moved onto the The Great British Bake Off.

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With the Trumps soon to be vacating the White House in a scene reminiscent of Pacific Heights, the rehabilitation of their legacy has begun.  We now hear that Melanie really REALLY wanted to bathe the White House in rainbow-colored lights for Pride Month.  Reports from two independent sources indicate that the First Lady’s wishes were hindered by White House Chief of Staff, Mark Meadows – the same person who once swore that gay marriage would lead to a “constitutional crisis”.  Turns out, that crisis was ushered in long after gay marriage, and seems to have coincided with his boss’ “election”.

Allegedly, El Presidente didn’t want to rush Amy Coney Barrett onto the Supreme Court.  That dastardly deed was dictated by Mitch McConnell.  The senator’s former chief of staff Josh Holmes (no relation) related a conversation between the Senate Majority Leader and the President.  “McConnell told him two things.  He said, ‘First, I’m going to put out a statement that says we’re going to fill the vacancy.’  Second, he said, ‘You’ve gotta nominate Amy Coney Barrett.’”  Like we didn’t know who was pulling the strings.

 

Prince Charles’ Scepter

Two years ago, I saw Freddie Fox act alongside his father Edward in a West End production of An Ideal Husband – and he was indeed ideal.  You can see him playing Margaret Thatcher’s son on The Crown.  He recently gave an interview which spoke volumes.  “I’ve had girlfriends, but I wouldn’t wish to say ‘I am this or I am that’, because at some time in my life I might fall in love with a man,” he said, leaving the door firmly open.  He then tackled sexual fluidity.  “I think being able to say that you have a more rounded experience as a human being, whether it be through sexuality or whatever, is now perceived as a real advantage”.  He’s had some experience with being more rounded – he played Boy George’s pal Marilyn in the biopic Worried About the Boy.

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This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Kevin in New Hampshire: “I think Josh O’Connor is super sexy [he plays Prince Charles on The Crown].  I’ve seen him interviewed, and he comes off gay.  Any thoughts?  And hot pics of him?”

Time for another spirited round of “Gay or British”.  It never gets old.  Recently, O’Connor went public with girlfriend, Margot Hauer-King.  Of course, that doesn’t mean anything.  In fact, he made a strange comment after playing Johnny in the film God’s Own Country: “I know I’d dated the Johnny type in the past, emotionally inarticulate, unable to love and be loved, and I’ve found, through the process of playing Johnny, some kind of peace and hopefully a greater understanding and empathy.”  Of course, he may mean that he’s dated the female equivalent of Johnny.  By the by, his character Johnny has quite a bit of gay sex.  And, being a British film, there’s quite a bit of nudity.  If you’d like a gander of O’Connor’s bits and bobs, check out BillyMasters.com.

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When we’re revealing Prince Charles’ scepter, it’s time to end yet another column.  Come to think of it, we have a nude photo of the real Prince Charles, so we’ll post that as well.  Despite being an annus horribilis (and I’ve known my share of horrible annuses), there are still things I’m thankful for.  I’m thankful for my health, my sense of humor, and my unfailing ability to satisfy a man even with a six-foot gap.  I’m thankful for my friends and family – even when they tell me to stay away.  I’m thankful for everyone who helps make this column possible each and every week.  But most of all, I’m thankful for you – my devoted readers (and viewers).  You can be thankful by checking out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that provides a cornucopia of carnal delights.  If you have a question, I apparently have lots of time on my hands.  So drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before our 52nd column of 2020.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Oral Sex on Primetime

While in the middle of my Floridian frenzy, I found myself sucked into six hours of the BET miniseries, The New Edition Story.  Being a Bostonian of a certain age, I vividly remember the splash these boys from Roxbury made – to say nothing of the drama around Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston.  It was the perfect distraction.  I took particular note of the scene when the boys’ manager (played by Michael Rapaport) found Bobby in a parked car, high as a kite.  It wasn’t so much seeing him do cocaine; it was the sight of two female heads bobbing up and down on his lap.  Certainly I’m familiar with vehicular fellatio, but I didn’t expect to see it on basic cable.

Days later, it reared its head again.  On Grey’s Anatomy, Alex Landi (playing Dr. Kim) offered to give Jake Borelli (as Dr. Schmitt) a blow job in the supply closet.  On network television!  In primetime!  Being responsible professionals during a pandemic, Borelli said, “Can we leave my mask on?”  It’s been my experience that the recipient’s mouth is rarely employed during such acts.  If you missed it, check out our website.

Divas of December

A recent addition to our community explained one of the things that made it easy for her to come out.  Nikki Blonsky said, “The LGBTQIA community has embraced me since the moment I got Hairspray.  They welcomed me with open arms and I felt so a part of the community already.  For me, it was a long time coming.  I wanted to date women and it just was a moment in my life where I was finally just really ready to be myself.”

Shortly after coming out, Nikki came on Billy Masters LIVE for a special show alongside the Link from the TV version of Hairspray, Garrett Clayton.  We even surprised them with members of the original Broadway cast and national tour – because that’s what we do on Billy Masters LIVE.  We’ve taken a couple of weeks off for Thanksgiving, but we’ll return with new shows on December 1stWorld AIDS Day.  In fact, we’re closing out the year with Billy’s 12 Divas of December.  Stay tuned for more details.  In the meantime, head to Billy Masters TV on YouTube, or our website of BillyMasters.com/TV.  All of our shows are there and, as one network used to say, “If you haven’t seen it, it’s new to you!”  By the way, our ratings have suddenly skyrocketed.  We’ve reached a new plateau – and you know how much I enjoy looking down from on high.

Youthful Reflections

Everyone has different things to be thankful for, and some of those things stem from childhood.  Last week, auteur Ryan Murphy revealed that his parents did not exactly embrace his homosexuality.  “I went to my junior prom and the next day my parents took me to a psychiatrist to cure me.  Thankfully, I had a really good shrink, who at the end of our several sessions called my parents in and said, ‘You have a choice here: You can try and change him and lose him, or you can accept him and love him.’”  Ryan channeled that into his film adaptation of the Broadway musical The Prom, which hits Netflix on December 4th.

Sexy Ryan Phillippe had a bad experience after making history as the first gay teenage character on a soap opera (One Life to Live).  But he wasn’t applauded by everyone.  “I mean, this was 1992, and I was playing a gay teenager and I was in a Christian school.  They weren’t happy about it.”  Reception at home wasn’t much better.  “I thought my parents were going to disown me.”  I can’t imagine what they thought of 54!

Zakar Butts Out

If Cohen loves Camp, he’ll love our Ask Billy question.  Danny in San Francisco writes, “Did you hear that the Zakar Twins said they’d release some nude photos if Biden won?  Well, where are they?”

Actually, they promised a whole lotta things.  Things like this: “Will post nudes if (when?) Trump loses”.  They kinda modified the deal when they heard of Biden’s win.   “Alright, alright, a deals a deal.  Butts out for Biden!  You want full-frontal?  Wait for AOC to take office”.  Of course, you don’t want to wait.  You just have to check out BillyMasters.com.

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When brothers’ butts are out for Biden (or, I venture to say, anyone else who comes along), it’s time to end yet another column.  Sorry to take this week off, but I’m dealing with some sticky situations – none of which concern my penis (at least, not yet).  But there are more than enough penii for you on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that shows full-frontal with or without AOC!  Even though I’m tied up, I’m never too busy to answer your questions.  Feel free to write me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Scott Baio gets promoted to Manager of Mugs at Michael’s!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

 

Cohen Goes Camp

Remember Michael CohenEl Presidente’s former fixer?  He appears in a tantalizing video – courtesy of Matthew Camp, who is a former NYC go-go boy.  For some reason, Cohen made a Cameo video where he says the following: “I just want to say how amazing Matthew Camp is on OnlyFans.  Having a blast enjoying every minute with you guys.  Good luck.  Love it.  Stay safe.  Stay Covid-free.  And, again, OnlyFans – having a blast with him.”  Things that make you go, “Hmm”.  I smell an endorsement coming for Billy Masters LIVE.  In the meantime, you can see both Camp and Cohen on BillyMasters.com.

Viggo Goes Gay

Then there’s Viggo Mortensen – who, by all accounts, is heterosexual.  He’s writing, directing, and starring in his next film.  My God – he’s like the male Streisand.  All he has to do is sing the theme song wearing Lee Press On Nails!  Anyway, Falling is about a homophobic and racist man suffering from dementia.  Viggo plays the man’s son – who happens to be a gay, married man.  Mortensen claims that this is not “a gimmick, anchor, or some trigger”.  In fact, he didn’t originally write the role to be gay – but felt it made for a more compelling story.  He added, “I apologize to all the proctologists for casting David Cronenberg” – who plays a proctologist in the film.  I might add that I don’t believe Viggo ever met any hobbits in real life!

McCarthy Cries

Our opening quote could have been, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”  Melissa McCarthy’s upcoming flick, Superintelligence, had a carefully thought-out promotional plan.  During 20 Days of Kindness, HBO Max would donate $20K a day to a worthy charity.  What could go wrong, right?  Wrong.  One of the recipients was Exodus Cry, an organization that is against reproductive choice and vilifies the LGBTQ community.  When Melissa heard about this, she was outraged enough to cry through an apology.  “There’s no other way to say it – we blew it.  We made a mistake and we backed a charity that, upon proper vetting, stands for everything that we do not.  So I want to thank everyone on social media who said, ‘What are you doing?  Are you sure you want to back this?’  Because the answer was no, we do not.”  How do you rectify that?  McCarthy says, “We have pulled it.”  So who’s getting that $20K?

 

Conch Covers Cock

Our Ask Billy letter comes from Frankie in Chicago:  “I can’t believe you haven’t talked about those new photos of Pietro Boselli.  They may be his hottest ones ever.”

If you’re referring to the cover of King Kong Garçon, why would I talk about it here?  On the other hand, you’d expect me to talk about a hot guy with a huge conch.  Oh, yes, I said “conch”.  The world’s hottest math teacher was photographed as Poseidon covering his cock with a conch.  And, yes, that is the first time in 25 years I’ve gotten to say that…at least in print!  To show I’m not shellfish (HA!), check out the pics on BillyMasters.com.

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When I’m plunging into marine biology for a mathematician, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Since our Ed Asner show has been embargoed (as all newsworthy events are), I can only share one little tidbit.  When I asked what inspires him; what keeps him going.  He surprised me by saying he had not been looking forward to being interviewed by yours truly.  Since this exchange occurred towards the end of two hours, I suspected there was a “but” coming.  And it’s a doozy.  You can catch a glimpse of it on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is known to give you more than a glimpse of things (even conches).  For your other needs, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before El Presidente concedes.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Billy and a Legend

Last week, Billy Masters LIVE featured two lengthy interviews with the great Ed Asner!  He was outspoken about politics, his past, his career, and some of his co-stars.  In a few short days, those shows have become our most popular.  Check them out at Billy Masters TV on YouTube, or at to BillyMasters.com/TV.

FYI, I had already announced I was taking Thanksgiving Week off.  But, due to circumstances beyond my control (and you know how I hate that), I’m going to be indisposed for this week as well.  Fear not – we’ll be back right with a special series of shows for December.  Stay tuned.

 

Ridin’ with Biden

To recap – Biden won.  But not by a landslide.  Someone please remind me in four years to market myself as a pollster – a job which apparently requires no credentials and has no accountability or expectation of accuracy.  What is still unknown is whether there will be a peaceful transition of power – but never have the words “don’t count on it” been more apt.  As with everything else in this unprecedented year, “unpresidential” is expected.  I was surprised that FOX News called states for Biden before any other network.  Laura Ingraham implying that a Supreme Court ruling could wreak havoc was less surprising.  This idea was also floated by Harmeet Dhillon – who is said to be a legal adviser to El Presidente’s campaign, although I’ve never heard that name before.  “We’re waiting for the United States Supreme Court – of which the president has nominated three justices – to step in and do something.”  Likewise, I’m waiting – just try it.

Meanwhile, Anderson Cooper is kicking himself.  During a live broadcast, he said the following: “This is the President of the United States.  That is the most powerful person in the world, and we see him like an obese turtle on his back, flailing in the hot sun, realizing his time is over.  But he just hasn’t accepted it, and he wants to take everybody down with him…including this country.”  It wasn’t the first time the newsman had let his less-than-impartial views bubble to the surface.  Back in May, he called Trump “a little man, despite his girth and size.”  Cooper later said, “I regret using those words, ‘cause that’s not the person I really want to be.”  And I really want to be mistaken for a fitness model.  But you is what you is.

As all eyes are on Biden, I’m hopeful and cautiously optimistic.  He told the Philadelphia Gay News, “I will make enactment of the Equality Act a top legislative priority during my first 100 days.”  While that sounds peachy, I’m OK with putting that on hold and getting some stimulus and unemployment money out to people who need it.

Celebrate at Home

“My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over. 
Our Constitution works; our great Republic is a government of laws
and not of men.  Here, the people rule.”
  
Gerald Ford during his Inaugural remarks.  Who would have thought Gerald Ford would
once again be relevant…or that we’d be looking back at him so wistfully?

I know you’re all excited.  But, please – STOP CELEBRATING.  I know only a small percentage of my readers remember 1918 – and God bless each and every one of you.  For everyone else, let me share a little story.  Back then, we had something called the Spanish Flu…presumably we’d now call it the Latinx Flu.  September 28, 1918 – Philadelphia.  The City of Brotherly Love throws a parade to promote war bonds.  As it happens, many people were undiagnosed with this flu.  And so it begins.  November 11, 1918 – San Francisco.  After several weeks of vigilant lockdown and mask-wearing due to high infection rates back east, the City by the Bay gets cocky.  They decide to throw a giant parade to celebrate Armistice Day.  Precautions are eschewed.  The flu ends up infecting 500 million people and killing between 20-50 million.  So, keep your mask on, drink at home, and wait to celebrate.

Out Olympic Gymnast

Way back in 2012, Reed in Chicago sent in an Ask Billy question about Olympic gymnast Danell Leyva.  At the time, some nude photos circulated which were allegedly texted to a girl he was trying to hook up with.  Fast forward eight years and Danell has come out…on National Coming Out Day: “For a long time I’ve known that I wasn’t straight.  But because of some very personal reasons, I always rejected that side of me.  Earlier this year I finally understood that I’m bi/pan (still trying to figure that one out).”  He adds, “I also realized that, as of now at least, I’m not attracted to cis men.”  That’s OK – baby steps, Danell.  And, yes, before you ask, I’ll post the photos again on BillyMasters.com.

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In lieu of a new Ask Billy question, I want to take a moment to remember my friend Nikki McKibbin.  You knew her as the scrappy contestant on season one of American Idol who came in third.  We did several gay pride festivals together, and she was a hoot.  She was a gal just waiting for a break.  She got a few, but they never quite panned out the way she hoped.  After a pretty hard life battling various addictions, she had an aneurysm last week and was brain-dead immediately.  In accordance with her wishes, she was kept alive on machines for three days to arrange distribution of her organs.  Till the end, she was a very special, giving person.  Rest in peace, Nikk!

 

Parliament House Kaput

It is with a heavy heart that I report Orlando’s Parliament House is closing.  The famed hotel, resort, nightclub and theatre complex has been a hotspot of gay activity for over 45 years and has hosted performances by many luminaries, such as Cyndi Lauper, Sandra Bernhard, Taylor Dayne, Deborah Cox, Wilson Phillips, and even yours truly – my play, Hollywood Uncovered, debuted there way back in 2002!  After years of maneuvering a tenuous financial situation, the mortgage holder is taking possession of the property on November 3rd.  The owners retain the rights to the name and hope to open elsewhere in the future.  Best of luck!

Lainie & Michele Go Viral

People are fleeing Ellen DeGeneres’ social media platforms en masse.  She lost over half a million followers on Twitter and an equal number on Instagram.  If those people are looking for someone new, might I suggest Billy Masters TV?   The recent show with Lainie Kazan and Michele Lee in their first joint interview has gone viral and quickly became our most popular episode (beating out both Fran Drescher and Anita Pointer).  Who would have thought Lainie and Mishy would become the queens of Billy Masters TV – I thought that was moi!  Do me a favor and go to Billy Masters TV on YouTube and click “Subscribe”.  It costs you nothing and really helps us out.

Last week’s shows with Christopher Sieber and Gilles Marini were great fun.  This Tuesday, I’ll host an Election Day special where I’ll share gossip, chat with fans, and show some of my favorite moments from the last few months.  On Thursday, we focus on the Emerging Artists Theatre, which is hosting a benefit reading of Brian Belovitch’s play Boys Don’t Wear Lipstick.  We’ll chat with Belovitch, director Everett Quinton, and two of the stars who happen to be pals – Jonny Beauchamp and Tony winner Lena Hall.  See all the shows on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TVBilly Masters LIVE – where the stars play by day.

Rocky Horror Cast Reunion

If Biden takes Wisconsin, most of the credit has to go to WisDems.  The group flooded the Internet with special shows, reunions, and other celebrity-laden fundraising events.  They pulled out the stops on Halloween with The Rocky Horror Show.  An all-star cast was assembled but they were eclipsed by some of the classic film’s stars.  Barry Bostwick intoned Brad’s songs.  Little Nell worked overtime playing both Columbia and, for much of the show, Frank-N-Furter.  Yes, Tim Curry was there, but one must remember that he suffered a stroke in 2012.  Nonetheless, he valiantly attempted to revisit the role that catapulted him to fame with enormous difficulty.  There were moments – brilliant moments, in fact.  But for the bulk of the time…how can I describe it?  Picture seeing Chicago on Broadway starring Stephen Hawking.  Not much of a dancer – but I bet the ventriloquist number would kill!

Seth Green (Riff Raff), Rosario Dawson (Magenta), and David Arquette (Eddie) and Peppermint (singing Frank-N-Furter) gave standout performances.  There were also terrific cameos during the floor show from Hairspray alums Marissa Jaret Winokur and a sexy, corset-wearing Garrett ClaytonJason Alexander was a great narrator, but Frankie Grande was a curious Dr. Scott, oozing all of the raw masculinity of a young Tina LouiseLance Bass rocked out as Rocky…complete with golden Speedo.  If you missed this one-time-only event, some notable moments can be found on BillyMasters.com.

Nude Bachelorette Beau

Since we’re on the subject of male nudity, let’s move along to our Ask Billy letter from Roger in Anaheim: “This has to be the hottest group of guys ever to be on The Bachelorette.  You must have nude photos of some of them.”

I must agree with Roger – this is a particularly hunky group of guys.  And they’re certainly showing lots of skin – especially during that game of strip dodgeball.  Since the season is young, I can’t say I have photos of “some of them”.  But I do have nude photos of one of them.  The show hasn’t focused much on Kenny Braasch, but I have.  I noticed that chiseled face and ripped body.  Although he’s billed as a “Boyband Manager”, Kenny is also a former basketball and baseball player…so he’s clearly versatile.  And he wears a size 13 shoe and has parts of his anatomy that would make a horse jealous.  And don’t even get me started on his flexibility – or how he handles balls…or his cock.  While I’m not completely sure about any man who sports what I would charitably call a Brazilian, I’m still interested enough to show you a plethora of photos on BillyMasters.com.

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When Posey’s taking one for our team, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  So Jeffrey Toobin just gets a slap on the wrist.  What if it had been Wolf Blitzer?  Would everyone have been as understanding?  While you ponder that, pound on your keyboard and check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s safe for work…if you work in a cave!  For your more discreet needs, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Kenny says “Bye, Bye, Bye”!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Lainie & Michele Reunite

We just wrapped a memorable week on Billy Masters LIVE.  We kicked it off with our political commentator, Sue O’Connell, and legal eagle, Gloria Allred.  When I asked her what she thought about the Jeffrey Toobin Zoom situation, Gloria snapped, “Hands up!  Keep ‘em up there!”  I quickly complied, and she did the same.  Yes, these are the things you’ll find on my eponymous show.  Where else could you go from Gloria Allred to Randy Roberts?  The illusionist extraordinaire joined us from Key West to talk about live shows resuming at La Te Da – behind Plexiglas!  It almost sounds as if he’s doing a show at the Olive Garden salad bar!  Definitely check it out.

And then…the show that’s been six months in the making.  Strike that – 47 years in the making.  For the first time ever, Lainie Kazan and Michele Lee sat down and talked about the Broadway debacle that was Seesaw.  The legendary ladies had been friends for years, co-starred in the musical Bravo Giovanni, and even lived in the same building.  Seesaw changed all of that.  Lainie Kazan was fired, Michele Lee was hired.  Lee would rehearse by day, Lainie would perform by night.  And they didn’t speak for almost 15 years.  Their recounting of that time was emotional, but also cathartic.  They bared their souls in a way that was so intimate – sometimes I left them alone on-screen because I felt as if I were intruding.  Of course, I came back for us to share loads of laughs, music, and risqué footage.  It will all live in infamy on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.

How do you follow that up?  With Hot Guy Week.  On Tuesday, Christopher Sieber will join us, and on Thursday, I’ll show off my foreign tongue with Gilles MariniBilly Masters LIVE – where the stars play by day.

Gullible Giuliani

It’s been over a decade since the first Borat film.  So before viewing the sequel, I decided to sit down and watch the first one again.  In comparison, the new flick is far more scripted – and far less believable.  As to the scene with Rudy Giuliani, my experience tells me that camera angles, editing, and perhaps some judicious audio manipulation make it look far worse than it actually was.  There is no denying that Rudy did go into the bedroom with a young woman he had been touching repeatedly and already offered to eat a bat with.  But, they obviously weren’t alone since it was all captured on film.  The only thing we know for certain is that basically anyone can get to Giuliani.

Posey Likes Ass Play

You know what my readers are talking about?  Tyler Posey’s latest exposé.  Since starting his OnlyFans page, Posey’s been quite loose-lipped (I smell a future Billy Masters LIVE guest).  He revealed, “I’ve hooked up with guys”.  He’s also said, “I’ve been fucked with a strap on” – which, I suppose, qualifies as bottoming.  When pressed on the subject, Posey explained, “I haven’t had sex with a man – we’ve blown each other, you know what I mean.  But never had sex.  So, yes, I have been with men before.”  This is kinda like hearing what the definition of “is” is.  He explains he’s only gone public with these sordid stories to help the children.  “I know there’s a lot of kids that look up to me and I just want to fucking get rid of that stigma of…you can be whoever you want to be, get with whoever you want to get with and it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t affect them.”

Nude UK Bridge Builder

Our Ask Billy question comes from Oliver in London: “I know you must get a million questions asking you about different hot guys, but I don’t know who else to ask.  What do you know about Zac Smith who was just on The Bridge?  I hear he’s done some nude modeling – so I went to the master.”

Thanks, m8.  Even on the other side of the Pond, I am the Gossip King – as Sue O’Connell dubbed me on The Take (she’ll be on Tuesday’s Billy Masters LIVE, FYI).  The Bridge is a UK reality show where people have to build a bridge to get the prize money.  Not only does Zac model, he’s a stripper in the UK troupe Dreamboys.  Of course, nobody’s touring in quarantine…so I did the legwork for you.  Zac’s impressively built, and he’s impressively hung.  Although he is openly heterosexual, he’s quick to add, “My fan base is predominantly men so if anything Thank You!!”.  Whilst Zac, too, has an OnlyFans page, you can get a taste of him on BillyMasters.com.

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When I’m considering a trip to Puerto Vallarta to pick up some gay sex…and teeth, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  You can keep up with the latest dish and drama on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that hasn’t lost its bite.  And, since Karamo isn’t interested, feel free to send whatever you’d like to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Ed Asner returns to Billy Masters LIVE (which will be soon – promise).  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible

 

Estefan Coming Out Drama

Red tables are popping up everywhere.  Now Gloria Estefan’s got one and is doing her own Red Table Talk on Facebook.  I don’t know if she’s connected with Jada Pinkett Smith or not, but she had a good show last week.  On Red Table Talk: The Estefans, Gloria was joined by her daughter Emily and her niece Lili to discuss Emily’s coming out.  According to Emily, when she told her mother she might be gay, Gloria said, “If you tell your grandma and she dies, her blood is on your hands.”  Gloria defended herself by saying, “You’re remembering things, as we all do, in a different way.”  She explained how she was trying to protect both her daughter and her very old-fashioned, difficult, and ailing mother.  It was interesting to see how everyone could be right and wrong at the same time – and how they all came together.  It worked out for everyone – with the exception of Abuela, who died before Emily could tell her.  Rosie O’Donnell and Michelle Rodriguez also appeared.  Check it out.

Tricks or Treats

Given the ghoulish time, Elvira has risen from the dead.  This is, after all, the Mistress of the Dark’s busiest season – or is that the bustiest?  Either way, Elvira’s not happy with the restrictions on Halloween.  She’s expressed her ire in a little ditty called “Don’t Cancel Halloween”, which features the following inspired lyrics: “If they cancel Halloween, ‘cause we’re still in quarantine, it would make me so mad, it would suck, it would suck so bad!”  Do they give out special Grammys for Best Holiday Song?

A second-generation Hollywood star is joining the undead.  Emma Roberts (daughter of Eric and niece of Julia) is partnering with Netflix.  The series First Kill will be based on a short story by V.E. Schwab about a lesbian vampire trying to kill her way to the top.  Problems arise when she finds herself attracted to a gal who is a vampire hunter!  People are calling this The Gay Twilight.  Funny – I thought Twilight was the gay Twilight.

You know what happens to the supernatural when their careers die?  They end up naked and on the web.  Tyler Posey – formerly of Teen Wolf – is the latest to open an OnlyFans page.  It all started innocently enough cooking breakfast in the nude.  Now he’s showing the sausage.  Of course, we already have it on BillyMasters.com.

 

Billy Masters & Ed Asner

It has been a crappy week for your beloved Billy.  Throughout this pandemic, I have valiantly tried to remain upbeat.  But, I have been beaten down – thwarted.  That may sound melodramatic, but let me ask you this: how many of you came into this week with fewer teeth than you had the week before?  And let’s throw in a debacle before an international viewing audience.  Seconds after welcoming Ed Asner to Billy Masters LIVE…nothing.  Technical difficulties.  To add insult to injury, someone actually wrote this comment on that show: “Great to see an interview with a Hollywood legend like Ed Asner.”  Frankly, losing a tooth the next day was a step up.

The only thing I have to look forward to is this Tuesday’s Billy Masters LIVE, where I’ll be joined by Randy Roberts and the great Gloria Allred.  Yes, Gloria will tell me how bad things are, but she’ll also explain how we can turn things around.  And Randy will make me laugh – a closed-mouth laugh.  I can’t announce Thursday’s guests yet, but you should definitely tune in.  Watch us on Billy Masters TV on YouTube, or go to BillyMasters.com/TV.

 

Dylan Sprouse & His Daddy

Our Ask Billy question comes from Frank in Baltimore: “I heard about this movie with Dylan Sprouse playing an escort.  Where can I find it?”

Last week, the short film Daddy was released.  It features Ron Rifkin as an 80-year-old celebrating his first wedding anniversary as a widower…with a male prostitute!  The hooker is played by the lovely – and actually quite touching – Dylan Sprouse (of the famed Sprouse twins).  You’ll recall we previously brought you nude photos of Dylan.  Back to Daddy – the short was written and directed by Christian Coppola.  And before you ask, yes, he is perched on a distant branch of the Coppola family tree.  “I’m not close enough to get invited for Thanksgiving dinner,” he quipped.  As with the nudes, we’ll post the flick on BillyMasters.com.

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When my heart belongs to daddy’s boy, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  There was one curious moment in Daddy.  A woman standing next to the twosome in an elevator says, “You and your daddy look very handsome tonight.”  With a 50-year gap between the two, I might have gone for “Grand Daddy”.  But you can decide for yourself when you see it on BillyMasters.com – the site that can fill any gap.  Of course, I’m always on hand should you need a hand…or a digit.  Drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get get back to you before my autobiography drops.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Award Shows Juggle Around

Meanwhile, the world of entertainment continues limping along.  You may be wondering what will happen to all those year-end blockbusters?  Many studios continue to bank on bringing these films to the public, and the folks at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences want to help them along.  As you probably know, the Oscars have been pushed from February to April 25th.  In the past, films needed to qualify by screening in a Los Angeles cinema three times a day for at least one week.  However, the Academy’s new rules allow films which are shown in cinemas OR drive-ins in LA, NYC, San Francisco, Chicago, Miami and Atlanta for a week.  In addition, films that had scheduled theatrical releases but were seen on a streaming service due to the pandemic also qualify.

Some members of the Academy are asking that the Oscars not take place at all.  The awards should still be given out.  But due to the pandemic, most believe a live ceremony cannot take place safely.  They also believe that doing a virtual event would tarnish the reputation of the Oscars.  Stay tuned.

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Remember the Tonys?  Of course you don’t – Broadway’s biggest night traditionally happens during June (coincidentally, gay pride month).  Meanwhile, we haven’t even had nominations from the truncated season.  That’s all about to change.  The Tony nominations will be announced live at 3PM Eastern on YouTube on October 15th.  Wait a second – that’s this Thursday.  Hopefully it’ll be done by 3PM so you can watch Billy Masters LIVE with Ed Asner!

As to the ceremony itself, God only knows.  Originally, it was supposed to air on CBS.  Here is the latest official statement: “The 74th Annual Tony Awards will take place digitally in fall 2020.”  Well, doesn’t that sound vague and unfulfilling!  It’s not like I haven’t had memorable moments digitally.  Frankly, it depends on the digits.

The latest on Broadway is that theatres will not open any earlier than May 30, 2021 – and the phrase “don’t hold your breath” springs to mind.  What would this mean for the 2021 Tonys, which would typically take place in June?  Perhaps whatever shows can open on one weekend will sweep the awards.  In light of these delays, it’s no surprise that the Hugh Jackman/Sutton Foster revival of The Music Man will now open on February 10, 2022.  And the new musical about Michael Jackson will bow sometime in September 2021.

Legends & Billy LIVE

Many legends have appeared on Billy Masters LIVE.  But I don’t think we’ve had anyone as legendary as Ed Asner.  I am thrilled to interview him on Thursday, October 15th, but I must confess that this plum booking basically fell into my lap.  I contacted a publicist of someone who I thought would be a good guest.  The publicist is no longer working with that person, but suggested Ed Asner – whose autobiography “Son of a Junkman” is an amazingly revealing read.  Before you could say “spunk”, Ed Asner was booked – and I’m frantically researching his fascinating life.  You never know what will happen on Billy Masters LIVE – 3PM Eastern every Tuesday and Thursday.  Check out Billy Masters TV on YouTube, or go to BillyMasters.com/TV.

Speaking of spunk, Tuesday’s show will feature writer, musician, and performer David Pevsner, who is celebrating the filmed version of Musical Comedy Whore.  In this one-man show, he recounts his career on Broadway, on the road, and on many men who paid for his affections…or at the very least, his attentions.  It’s an illuminating and entertaining story from someone who isn’t afraid to tell all – and sell it on Amazon.

Candidate’s Porn Past

I wasn’t following the race for New Mexico’s House of Representatives until I found out one of the candidates did gay porn!  Roger Montoya is a Democratic candidate – and let me pause to say how refreshing it is to have gay porn done by a Democrat.  A conservative blogger reported that Montoya’s “work” was done under the names Joe Savage and Eric Martinez (you can view his work on BillyMasters.com).  In another refreshing first for a political porn sex scandal, Montoya is openly gay.  He was also recognized as one of 10 CNN Heroes in 2019 for his work on anti-violence and HIV education programs.  By the by, he is also openly HIV-positive.  Roger admitted that he did two films to support himself as a young modern dancer in Los Angeles.  “Those experiences do not reflect who I am, and they are insignificant in the scope of my life’s work, yet they helped inspire my dedication to my community and the work I do to make sure that youth have opportunities, support and confidence.”

From News to Nudes

Our Ask Billy question comes from Daniel in Texas: “Did you hear that our former weatherman, Stephen Decatur, is now doing gay porn?  I remember thinking he was so dreamy.”

I vaguely remember hearing about Decatur abruptly leaving ABC’s affiliate in El Paso after only six months.  I seem to recall him go-go dancing in gay bars.  I think he even had one of those personal porn sites.  Last year, he joined forces with the formidable Falcon Studios and was rechristened Steven Lee.  He’s got a rockin’ body, a hot, hard (and impressive) dick, and appears to know what to do with it – as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

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When the subject of an Ask Billy question could be a future guest on Billy Masters LIVE, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  You’d think after close to two hours with Loni Anderson, there wouldn’t be anything left to say.  And yet, there’s oodles of content on BillyMasters.com – the site that’s got loads to share.  If you’d like me to prove that, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before we film the seaside sequel to Schindler’s List.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

 

Bon(m)ers in the Band

I was interested to hear that Jim Parsons and his husband both had the coronavirus back in March.  Jim made the revelation on The Tonight Show, where he was promoting the film remake of The Boys in the Band.  The Netflix production features the full cast from the recent Broadway run.  While it’s great to capture that company on video, it is a pale reproduction of what worked far more effortlessly on stage.  There were some odd moments – like why the string of terrace lights didn’t short out in the rain, or why a hustler who charges only $20 for the night would throw his cowboy hat off the balcony.  And leave it to Ryan Murphy to hit us over the head with a metaphor.  When the storm kicks up and the party moves indoors, they quite literally leave the cake out in the rain!  At least there is some nudity to distract us, courtesy of Andrew Rannells in a flashback with Matt Bomer.  More fulfilling was the sight of Bomer’s slightly fluffed boner.  Those of you who are Netflix-free can see all on BillyMasters.com.

Laughing with Loni

“I’ve heard about an immaculate conception in another book –
and I didn’t believe that, either.”
  
Billy Masters’ response to Loni Anderson’s assertion that she got pregnant without having intercourse. 
Hear the whole story on Billy Masters LIVE.

 

Over the past six months or so, we’ve had some fabulous guests on Billy Masters LIVE.  But last week’s show with Loni Anderson has to be one of the most memorable.  The legendary lady was open, honest, and a barrel of laughs.  The episode is packed with stories about her career, romances, marriages, and becoming a gay icon.  You can watch every entertaining minute on our YouTube channel of Billy Masters TV , or by going to our website of BillyMasters.com and clicking on TV.  Or by subscribing to our brand-new podcast, Billy Masters LIVE.

This week’s shows will be filled with some of my favorite people.  On Tuesday, comedians Christopher Titus and Rachel Bradley join me to share some secrets from the road – including a run-in with actual white supremacists!  And on Thursday, I’ll sit down with John McDaniel to talk about everything from The Rosie O’Donnell Show to his new musical Sticks and Stones. Billy Masters LIVE – where the stars play by day.

Deadly Debate

If there’s one thing you can count on before a presidential election, it’s the dreaded October Surprise.  And, let’s face it, the entire West Wing being infected with the coronavirus is one helluva surprise!  I am going to ask you all to do something that you won’t want to do – please say a prayer for the health of our president.  In truth, I am not completely convinced El Presidente actually has the coronavirus.  But dying or being too sick to run is an elegant way to bow out of an election he’d likely lose.  Or perhaps poor Melania will expire, and the president will be too overtaken with grief to go on.  Whatever the scenario is, I suggest that both Mr. and Mrs. Trump sleep with one eye open.  Because who gets the most out of Trump bowing out?  Mike Pence, who becomes the nominee.  And in that scenario, everyone who was going to vote for Trump will vote for Pence.  Every Republican Trump pissed off who was going to sit out the election will vote for Pence.  All those Undecideds will vote for Pence.  Even conservative Democrats will vote for Pence.  And you know what happens during a Pence presidency?  Let me give you a hint – pack a Speedo and copious amounts of sunscreen, because all us gays are gonna be carted off to an island.

You might be surprised to see Eric Trump on that island.  Yes, the intellectually challenged spawn of our Commander in Chief came out on FOX & Friends.  Here is the direct quote: “The LGBT community, they are incredible.  And you should see how they come out in full force for my father every single day.  I’m part of that community, and we love the man.”  Shortly thereafter, Eric had to issue a retraction saying that he isn’t technically a member of the community.  “To clarify, many of our close friends are part of the LGBT community, which was the intent of my statement…As to me personally, as I think you know, I am a happily married man to my wife, Lara.”  And gays everywhere let out a sigh of relief.

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The last person you’d expect to be dragged into all of this is Queen Elizabeth II.  My God, can’t they leave that poor old woman alone?  It all started when Prince Harry and Meghan released a video many feel endorses Joe Biden.  Harry said, “As we approach this November, it’s vital that we reject hate speech, misinformation and online negativity”.  Sure sounds like he’s describing Trump, although it should be noted that neither candidate is named.  The problem with this is two-fold: 1) the royal family is supposed to be apolitical and b) Harry and Meghan are no longer technically royals.  The UK tabloids say the Queen should punish Harry and Meghan – as if throwing them out of the country wasn’t enough.  Don’t be so quick to believe British press.  One rag insists Harry asked QEII to move in with them.  Yeah, Lizzie is leaving Buckingham Palace to stay in Harry’s spare bedroom over the garage!

Totally Broadway Bare

Our Ask Billy question comes from Jasper in Maine: “Someone sent me these nude photos of a guy who has been on Broadway.  Do you know who he is?”

Fans around the globe constantly ask me to identify nude photos.  Jasper sent me several pics which I easily IDed as Taylor Collins.  But, let me correct him – Taylor isn’t technically a Broadway performer.  To date, he has not appeared on the Great White Way.  He and his fantastic physique have, however, turned up in Chicago – the musical, not the city (although it was a national tour, so perhaps both).  Thus far, Broadway has eluded him.  Taylor has, however, made up for this large gaping hole in his resume by filling other gaping holes – and having some filled.  He and his beau, Alessio Vega, have appeared in…well, to call them “art films” isn’t exactly correct.  Let’s just say there’s a plethora of footage – some of the couple alone, one with Max Konnor, and one where the couple is joined by another twosome.  These bits of celluloid and a variety of photos await you on BillyMasters.com.

Every Inch of Love Island

Weeks ago I wondered whether I should watch Love Island.  I didn’t bother, but turns out that one of the guys on the show actually appeared in gay porn.  Apparently, Noah Purvis (I slept with a Walter Purvis – I wonder if they’re related) previously worked for Corbin Fisher under the name “Ethan”.  Someone figured out “Ethan” and Noah were one and the same, and, poof, Purvis disappeared from the island.  CBS issued the following statement: “It has been brought to our attention that cast member Noah Purvis provided false information on his application to ‘Love Island’, which violates his contestant agreement.  He has been removed from the show.”  Noah hasn’t addressed the situation directly, but he did post the following on Instagram: “OHANA means family.  FAMILY means no one gets left behind or forgotten.  All of you out here have made me feel this and I can’t express how loved I feel for the first time in my life.”  If you’d like to see how he made love with other men, check out BillyMasters.com.

Billy & Loni – LIVE

After all these months of doing Billy Masters LIVE every Tuesday and Thursday at 3PM Eastern / Noon Pacific, I thought I’d heard it all.  Until this Tuesday, when I welcome Loni Anderson!  I’ve got TONS of things to ask her about – starting with playing Mariska Hargitay’s mother, Pamela Anderson’s mother, and Tori Spelling’s mother!  She’s played a lot of mothers – including the mother of a gay son in My Sister is So Gay.  This’ll be a REALLY dishy show.  Tune into Billy Masters TV on YouTube or Faceboook, or just go to BillyMasters.com/TV.

Who’s Cheering Now

I must confess – I haven’t watched the Netflix documentary series Cheer.  I don’t care one iota about leaders of cheers.  However, you tell me a male cheerleader is soliciting sex from 14-year-old boys, and you’ve piqued my interest.  Allegedly, 21-year-old Jerry Harris has been accused of sending sexually explicit messages and asking for nude photos from not one but two 14-year-old boys – the fact that they are twins only adds to the tawdriness.  The FBI believes that there are more victims out there, so stay tuned.

Two and a Half Hottie

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Ashley in Kansas City: “I was watching Two and a Half Men and thought Jake’s friend Eldridge was so cute.  Whatever happened to him?”

You have a good eye, Ashley (who is of undetermined gender).  Eldridge was played by Graham Patrick Martin, who had good bone structure and a great head of hair.  He later turned up on The Closer and Major Crimes as Rusty, a teenage hustler.  Although straight in real life, he enjoys most of his same-sex scenes – with one exception.  “What took me back was that I’d never felt a beard on my face.  I said, ‘Bro, if you don’t shave that thing, I’m making sure they never write a kissing scene for us again!’”  That would be a shame, since Graham has grown up to be quite a looker – who is not afraid to show some skin, as you can see on BillyMasters.com.

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When half a man is better than no man at all, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I don’t typically settle for less than two men at a time…but there’s a pandemic going on.  Thank God for BillyMasters.com – the site that always has some spare studs hanging around.  If you’re hung and horny, write to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before the Supreme Court vacancy is filled by Judge Judy!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Celebrating Golden Girls

You know where you can count on hilarity?  On Billy Masters LIVE.  We started these twice-weekly shows to keep you entertained during the pandemic.  And we just hit a milestone – our 50th episode!  For this special show, we celebrated the 35th anniversary of The Golden Girls.  Our guests were Jim Colucci (author of Golden Girls Forever), Stan Zimmerman (writer from season one of the series), Frank DeCaro (writer, comedian, and Jim Colucci’s husband), and Dr. Melinda McClanahan – esteemed academic, researcher, and sister of Rue McClanahan!  Viewers chimed in from around the world.  You can check out all of our shows on Billy Masters TV on YouTube, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.  We’re live every Tuesday and Thursday at 3PM Eastern.

This week, we’re gonna try something a little different.  On Tabloid Tuesday, I’ll go through the rags and tell you which ones you should read, which ones you should skip, and the truth behind some of the more salacious stories.  I’m encouraging people to join in and ask anything they want.  Let’s see how interactive we can get.

Emmys Go Virtual

Obviously I can hold my own with political pundits.  During this pandemic, I’ve been holding my own more than usual…but that’s another story.  If this were a normal September, I’d be in Hollywood, filing this report from the Emmys.  But this is no usual September, and the Emmys took place virtually.  During the endless Creative Arts Emmys, Queer Eye won outstanding structured reality show for the third year in a row, while RuPaul was once again crowned best host for RuPaul’s Drag Race.  After imploring people to get out and vote, she dedicated her fifth win to the late Chi Chi DeVayne.  BTW, Drag Race also won outstanding competition series.

The Primetime Emmy Awards were hosted by Jimmy Kimmel – and I enjoy any show that kicks off by almost being burned to the ground by Jennifer Aniston.  Obviously it was a Schitt’s Creek sweep – which is a perfect allegory for these times.  I must single out sexy Andrew Cividino, who may possibly be a little person, and who shared his Emmy with Daniel Levy, who was wearing a skirt.  Speaking of outfits, did you notice that 73-year-old Eugene Levy was wearing skinny pants?  And was rockin’ them.  Kudos to Tracee Ellis Ross for paying tribute to her mother’s 1971 ABC special by wearing all of Miss Ross’ 17 costumes simultaneously.

 

Rest In Peace, RBG

“My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new president is installed.”  
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, as said to her granddaughter Clara Spera.

I am most certainly no politico.  But I am an innately curious person.  Remember when Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died nine months before the 2016 election?  Mitch McConnell blocked hearings for a replacement, saying, “The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court justice.  Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president.”  Do you know where McConnell got that idea?  Joe Biden!  Way back in 1992, Senator Biden asserted that if a Supreme Court Justice died while George H.W. Bush was president, the seat should remain vacant until after the election, or the Republican president should nominate a moderate to placate the Democratic Senate.  McConnell cited the so-called “Biden Rule”, and I can’t see why it shouldn’t be employed again right now.

 

Aaron Carter’s Honey Pot

One of my proofreaders claims this week’s Ask Billy question: “I heard that Aaron Carter jerked off to completion on his OnlyFans.  Do you have any video or images of this momentous occasion?”

First, let me correct you – it wasn’t on his OnlyFans page; it was on his CamSoda page.  The difference?  No idea.  What did he do in the video?  He took a shower; he showed off his stuffed animals; he peeled a banana with his feet; he played guitar; fingered some honey (that is not a euphemism); and he did indeed jerk off to completion.  And, yes, some titillating highlights can be seen on BillyMasters.com.

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When we’re bringing you both a peeled and unpeeled penis, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  As I’ve said so often during these quarantined days – any penis in a storm.  If you have other needs that need filling, head to BillyMasters.com – the site that always satisfies.  Should you require more personal attention, I happen to have some time on my hands.  Reach out to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I finger some honey (that IS a euphemism).  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Chris Evans’ Cell Slip

As we were going to press, Chris Evans’ penis was wreaking havoc.  It was a shocking moment.  On his Instagram account, Evans shared a video hanging out with a group of friends playing a game called, ironically enough, “Heads Up!”  At the end of the video, the screen froze on a page showing thumbnails from his camera roll.  And there, amongst other images of the actor, was a close-up of a penis.  While I feel it’s déclassé to discuss a semi-erect phallus, let’s simply say it makes up in girth what it may lack in length.  Some people claim – rightfully so – that we have no idea who the disembodied penis belongs to.  But riddle me this – why would Chris Evans have a photo of someone else’s penis on his cell phone?  Since an image is worth a thousand words, check out BillyMasters.com.

Spacey’s Latest Suit

Then there are some old subjects still rattling around.  One of those is Kevin Spacey.  You may recall his fall from grace happened shortly after he hosted the Tony Awards on June 11, 2017.  Within months, Anthony Rapp revealed that when he was 14 years old, he was a target of unwanted sexual advances from Kevin.  That’s when Spacey’s house of cards began to tumble.  He was fired from most jobs, written out of others, and young men came forward with claims that led to court proceedings.  The latest lawsuit comes from Rapp and an anonymous claimant.  Since Anthony’s incident has been well documented, we’ll focus on the heretofore unidentified male – who was also 14 years old at the time.  The tyke (known as CD) claims that Spacey engaged in sexual acts “including, but not limited to, the infant plaintiff performing anal intercourse on defendant Spacey and oral sex.”

Ellen Cleans Up To Return

I suspect everyone will be watching Ellen DeGeneres on September 21st.  That’s when she’ll return to her studio on the Warner lot…sans audience.  “I can’t wait to get back to work and back to our studio.  And, yes, we’re gonna talk about it,” alluding to reports that her show was a “toxic workplace” – a scandal which culminated in the firing of three senior producers.  How much she’ll say remains to be seen.

Alas, the bad news keeps coming.  One of Ellen’s former housekeepers spoke to the Daily Mail and has quite a tale to tell.  “Before I took the position, people were warning me not to take it.  I was told she had a very high turnover and that I should stay under the radar as much as possible, avoid as much direct contact with Ellen as possible.  Working there was described as being more like a boot camp.”  The maid also claims DeGeneres would do sneaky things – like leave stray matchsticks behind doors or under cushions to ensure things were being cleaned regularly.  When you polish the floor, you have to move the tree.  If you can’t do something right, don’t do it at all!

 

Very Close Twins

Our Ask Billy question really stumped me.  Trent in Los Angeles asked, “What do you know about the Hortoneda Twins?  Are they really twins?  Posing like that?”

I’m almost embarrassed to tell you that my quick answers are: no, I don’t know, and I don’t know.  But, if anyone can get to the bottom of homoerotic twins, it’s Billy Masters.  I made some calls, made good use of my foreign tongue, and learned that Cesar and Juan Hortoneda are indeed Italian twins – although I find their names somewhat un-Italian.  They have modeled for photographers like Bruce Weber and Mario Testino – and they haven’t filed any charges, which is always a pleasant surprise.  In most of their pics, they appear to be doused in all of the olive oil in Calabria.  But since it helps show off their ripped physiques, I’m OK with it.  Check them out on BillyMasters.com.

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When the only extra virgin in sight is the olive oil, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Have I mentioned that the fall is approaching?  With the ever-creeping chill in the air, I urge you to check out BillyMasters.com – the site that keeps things hot every day of the year.  If you need my personal attention, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I find out what you label me!  So, until next time, remember, man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Fabulous Facinelli

I enjoy a straight guy comfortable enough to slip into a tutu every now and again.  So I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Channing Tatum dolled up as a princess.  He explained, “Guys, I don’t know about you but things got a little weird for me in quarantine.  I ended up accidentally locking myself in my 7 year old daughter’s room.  And I ended up finding my inner child.  So this is what I created for my little girl.  From what is, I guess, the little girl in me.  Thanks for reading.”  And he added the hashtag Sparkella.  You can check out the pic on his social media avenues, or on BillyMasters.com.

Between the pandemic and my life-threatening surgery, I gained what is referred to as the “Covid 19”.  Yes, exactly 19 pounds, which on my slight frame was quite significant.  I didn’t notice it for months – likely because I was recuperating in elastic waist pants (as usual, I went through tops at an alarming rate).  Once I discovered this unwelcomed mass living inside of me, I started daily road work and watched my carb intake.  I’ve lost 15 of those pesky pounds, but I didn’t end up looking like Peter Facinelli – who inexplicably dropped 30 pounds from his toned torso.  Unlike moi – who usually shows off in select groups no more than a baker’s dozen – Facinelli posted his results on Instagram…while promoting Prostate Cancer Awareness Month.  Once you see what he looks like on our website, I’m sure you’d let him to do whatever he’d like to your prostate. 

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