What a perfect segue into our Ask Billy question.  This was a popular question, but the first message came from Greg in Miami: “Did you see that photo Tom Welling accidentally posted of his penis?  Do you have the shot?”

This is one of those crazy stories that I’d normally think was done on purpose – except I don’t give Tom that much credit.  Welling was in NYC and posted a photo on Instagram showing the view from his hotel room with a caption saying, “Hello NYCC”.  I’m sure NYCC stood for “New York Comic Con”, but in this case it could also mean “New York City Cock”.  In the floor-to-ceiling window you can see a faint image of Tom completely naked with his Welling hanging out!  The snap remained online for ten hours before someone alerted him to the “situation”, at which point he deleted it.  I hasten to add that this is one of those images where everyone sees something different.  Some see an enormous penis.  Some can make out his kneecap.  Others see nothing but an enormous truck in the middle of the street.  Come to think of it, is it a truck?  Or is it a…  Anyway, getting back to Greg’s question – do I have the shot?  Really, Greg?  Of course.  Will I share it?  Do you really have to ask?  Check out BillyMasters.com.

­­­­When I’m giving you a gay Rorschach test, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  It’s like one of those Internet posts asking what color a woman’s dress was.  You won’t have such problems on BillyMasters.com – the site that rarely features people dressed!  If you have a question or need a referral to an optometrist, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Colton Haynes appears in a production of Call Me Mister.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

J. Harrison Ghee has bowed out of the Oh, Mary! national tour. He was scheduled to play Mary’s husband, Abraham, and was then going to take over the title role in January after Alaska Thunderf*ck departs. First we learned that Ghee would miss the initial month of the tour to treat an ongoing kidney issue.  Now it’s been announced that Ghee will be focusing on health issues and not appear at all.  We’re sorry we won’t get to see the amazingly talented JHG in either role.  However, I somehow missed that the lovely and talented Wesley Taylor is also a part of this tour – playing the plum role of Mary’s Teacher.  Get all the dates and info at OhMaryPlay.com.

I had a busy week in Boston.  I went to the opening night of the Huntington Theatre’s production of To Kill a Mockingbird.  Naturally, this was the Aaron Sorkin version of the Harper Lee book which starred Jeff Daniels on Broadway (and Richard Thomas on tour).  It’s been billed as the first regional production of this version, and it certainly fulfilled its pedigree.  The production was handsome, fluid, and directed with great care by Loretta Greco.  The cast could hardly be bettered, led by Karl Kenzler as Atticus and Karen Killeen as Scout.  I must also mention Patrice Jean-Baptiste as no-nonsense Calpurnia and Andrew Stevens Purdy as a mighty sassy Dill.  The show runs through November 8^th, and you can grab tickets at HuntingtonTheatre.org.

I also caught Varla Jean Merman’s fantastic show, Unlike a Virgin, which was playing at Boston’s Club Café as part of her national tour.  Of course, I’d already reviewed the show during its Provincetown run, and I’m delighted to say it’s even more outrageous and hysterical in its touring version.  But it’s so much more than that.  Varla has impeccable timing.  As always, she is simultaneously clever and poignant.  You don’t believe me?  Check her out if she comes to a city near you.  Full tour dates and details can be found on VarlaJean.com.

Congratulations go out to Mark Indelicato, who you know from Ugly Betty and Hacks.  He recently got married and revealed that he met his spouse David Watson on Hinge.  “I wasn’t looking for anything, and then I met my person.”  Mark’s Hacks boss, Jean Smart, officiated the ceremony, which was also attended by co-stars Hannah Einbinder, Meg Stalter, Paul W. Downs, Poppy Liu and Johnny Sibilly.  I was most touched to learn that his Ugly Betty mom, Ana Ortiz, hosted the ceremony in her backyard.

Colton Haynes has been named a MISTR Ambassador and made his debut on the blue carpet for National PrEP Day (which somehow didn’t make it onto my calendar).  He announced his role in a campaign to promote PrEP to help prevent the spread of HIV: “How do I say this without getting in trouble?  You might be seeing some stuff involved with this beautiful company MISTR.  A bunch of us that are here are possibly not wearing any clothes.  I would never give spoilers, but I love MISTR and I love being part of this family.  We’ll see.  Stay tuned.”

After his recent suicide attempt, Carrot Top has finally issued a statement: “I’m truly overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, support, prayers, and well wishes I’ve received over the past couple of weeks.  Every message, text, and kind thought has meant more to me than you will know.  While I haven’t been able to respond to everyone individually, please know that I’ve felt your love and appreciate each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you for being there for me during this time.  It truly means the world to me!”  While I am glad he’s OK, I still would like to know more about this alleged extortion and claims of sexual misconduct.  Perhaps he’ll mention it during his shows at Luxor in Las Vegas, which are scheduled to resume by the time you read this.

Elsewhere in Las Vegas, Barry Manilow is making all sorts of news.  Two weeks ago, he returned to the stage of the International Theater at the Westgate Las Vegas – his first performance since recovering from bronchitis.  It was a short-lived return.  After a successful first performance back, the second show was truncated.  He left the stage after two songs, saying, “Talk amongst yourselves”.  He never returned.  The rumors started and they actually reached Barry!  When he took to the stage a week later, he asked the capacity crowd, “So, how was your week?”  He then continued: “I was reading the papers, and I read ‘singer collapses in the wings’.  I said, ‘Who can that be?’  So I read a little bit more, and it’s me!  But that was all bullshit.  That didn’t even happen at all.  But I loved it!  Has anybody here had bronchitis?  You know that you cannot sing with bronchitis, and I thought, well, I’ll give it a try.  And it didn’t work.  And we had to cancel the show.  Oy, the Jewish guilt!”  He wrapped up by saying, “But I’m feeling fine now, so thanks for giving me another chance to come to our show.”  Catch him while you can.

“I don’t know that I really want to do it, but I am
open to it.  Listen, I just did Special Forces. 
I could probably go on The View again.” 
– Candace Cameron Bure compares doing The View with a FOX show
where she competes against people like George Santos.  He typically
has more makeup on than all of The View co-hosts combined!

Picture it – Guayaquil, Ecuador.  Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church in the Central Vicariate. Father Patricio Alfredo Sanchez Molinari was leading the Mass.  One moment, he’s talking about the fleeting nature of life.  The next, BOOM!  The giant crucifix above the altar collapsed right on the priest, killing him instantly.  Whether you believe in signs or not, this sure seems like one.  I’m not quite sure what it was a sign of.  Certainly it’s a sign that there wasn’t any help (perpetual or otherwise).  People always look to God for answers.  But sometimes the answers might not be what they were expecting.  Somewhere, I bet Pete Hegseth was gleefully watching.

People often say they would give up parts of their body to look like someone they perceive as overly attractive.  Like I might say, “I’d give up my left testicle to look like Brad Pitt” – I opted for the left testicle because it’s the right one that usually is complimented.  But would I give up my large intestine to look like Joe Manganiello?  Because that’s part of his story.  Joe went public with his harrowing medical journey in a new memoir – because you have a lot of time on your hands when you’re recuperating from a life-threatening illness.  In Bloodlines, this is how he describes the 2016 operation: “In the days following the amputation of my large intestine, my weight began to plummet.  I would ultimately lose a total of 60 lbs. during the two weeks following surgery.”  He also reveals that a shaman told then-wife Sofia Vergara she was the cause of his maladies.  “Someone from your past is still in love with you.  He put a voodoo curse on your husband.” I’m not particularly superstitious, but if I were Joe, I’d be careful around any large, hanging religious objects!

I was friends with the talented musician Lucian Piane, who many of you know from RuPaul’s Drag Race.  He alienated many of his colleagues around 2016 with a number of erratic social media posts, which he later blamed on “marijuana psychosis”.  In more recent years, he was dealing with mental illness and substance abuse.  We last communicated on his birthday, which was two weeks ago.  In the days preceding his death, he posted increasingly disturbing messages and videos.  One of his last posts said, “Not a single person will help me.  I HATE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLL.  When I’m sober and recovering, you ABANDON ME!!!!!!”  That was followed up with, “So now I’m homeless!  Horrible people”.  A day later, he was taken into custody by the Glendale Police Department after assaulting an officer.  And the next day, he was found dead on the side of a road suffering “blunt trauma” after being struck by a vehicle.  With all his years of struggle and pain, I hope he finally found peace.

This leads to a perfectly timed theatre-related Ask Billy question.  Frank in NYC asks, “Did you hear about the 40^th anniversary performance of Phantom in London?  Did Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman really sing?”

Well, they “appeared” to be singing.  But let me explain what happened for those who don’t know.  This special landmark performance of The Phantom of the Opera was recorded live for future release in cinemas.  The momentous event took place at His Majesty’s Theatre in London, where the show has been running these past four decades (it was called Her Majesty’s Theatre for most of the show’s run).  After the musical ended, several former notable stars turned up for an encore of the title duet.  Genonimo Rauch and Sierra Boggess, John Owen-Jones and Lucy St. Louis, Killian Donnelly and Gina Beck, Ben Forster and Claire Moore.  The final pair to appear were Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman, who entered on that mysterious gondola in the basement of the Paris Opera House.  I’m told that the vocals for these veterans had been pre-recorded, but the audience didn’t seem to care.  I think everyone was amazed that the final twosome were able to get out of the gondola without breaking a hip!  There was at least one bit of live singing from the 84-year-old Crawford.  The evening closed with all of the Phantoms singing “The Music of the Night”.  Particularly poignant is when the current Phantom sang, “You alone can make my song take flight,” motioning for Crawford to sing the final line: “Help me make the music of the night.”  You can see the full videos from the event on BillyMasters.com.

­­­When anyone is paying to see Gillian 20 times, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Here’s a fun fact – two of the gentlemen in this column actually dated each other.  It’s really not much of a secret, but you can probably figure it out by heading over to BillyMasters.com – the site that proves missionary is more than just a position.  If you have a question, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Plastique works her magic on Seacrest!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

I’m getting ready for another one of my periodic trips to catch some theatre in London.  But I think I’ll skip Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?.  It’s a play I love but, frankly, I don’t have 3.5 hours to spend on the wrong cast (lesson learned with Calista Flockhart and Zachary Quinto – check the video on BillyMasters.com).  I have no doubt Billy Crudup will be a great George, but what of Gillian Anderson?  While meeting a group of fans by the stage door, she was filmed seemingly chastising some who have come back repeatedly: “You guys cannot sit in the front row.  You cannot…I don’t care.  You cannot sit in the front row.  It’s so distracting.  You can’t come 20 times and sit in the front row.  It’ll drive me mad.”  It should be noted that Gillian is laughing while saying this.  She explained, “The video doing the rounds is me talking with women I go back over 20 years with – so please don’t say anything negative to or about them.  We’re thrilled to be doing this show but for people in the front row, please be aware that in such an intimate venue we can all see you and sometimes, it can be a tad distracting!”

Our own Jonathan Groff is wowing audiences in Stratford-upon-Avon with an all-male production of my favorite Shakespeare play, As You Like It.  Of course, this is nothing new – it’s how plays were done in Will’s day.  Back then, the men all dressed up like Tom Daley on a date with his hubby!  In fact, the female roles were typically taken on by teenage boys.  In this play, the gender of the characters is more layered since the leading lady, Rosalind, dresses up as a male at one point.  I’m told Groff pulls off this whole Victor/Victoria moment with aplomb.  The Royal Shakespeare Company’s production has been receiving spectacular reviews.  The Times said, “American star Jonathan Groff made an accomplished Shakespearean debut as Rosalind”.  Doesn’t get better than that.  The show must close on November 7^th.

Groff’s last Broadway credit was as Bobby Darin in Just In Time.  His replacement was announced as Jeremy Jordan.  Except there was a brief hiatus between Jonathan’s exit and Jordan’s entrance.  Enter the multi-talented Matthew Morrison, who took over the role for three weeks.  At the time, I predicted he’d be back.  Sure enough, he’s heading back into the show starting on October 20^th for yet another limited three-week run, prior to the curiously cast Nicholas Christopher.  Once again, I suspect this isn’t the last we’ll see of Matty in the show.

Diver Tom Daley recently teamed up with drag performer Plastique Tiara for one of her drag makeovers on Plastique’s Beauty Bar.  He came prepared.  “I always thought that my drag name would be Lady Good Diver,” as in Lady Godiva.  Get it?  Oh, that Daley – he’s got a rapier wit!  Once the transformation was complete, he looked at himself in the mirror and couldn’t believe his eyes.  “That looks nothing like me!” – which I think was the point.  “I don’t know what I was expecting to look like, but it was not this.  I actually look way more feminine than I thought I was going to look.”  He toyed with the idea of staying in drag.  “Can you imagine?  I go and pick up the kids from school.  They’re going to be like, ‘Excuse me, do you have ID?’”  Then they did a video call to Mrs. Daley, Dustin Lance Black.  His response?  “Oh my god, I’m straight now!  I always knew you were going to make a beautiful woman, but this is exceptional.  Can you come home like that?”  Just a little glimpse of the private life of the Daley-Blacks.  The makeover can be found on BillyMasters.com.

Ryan Seacrest didn’t get so much of a makeover as a transformation.  Over the past few years, people have expressed concern over the changes in Seacrest’s face, although I always enjoy a touch of facial wasting in my men.  Then the 51-year-old recently slipped a shirtless photo in the midst of other snaps on Instagram.  He captioned the post, “This is what a day off looks like from start to finish.”  They included a rippling torso shot where he seemingly sports single-digit body fat.  It helped me finish off, so you can enjoy it for yourself on our website.

Speaking of transformations, we must send congratulations out to actor and comedian Daniel Franzese, who revealed he’s lost 135 pounds.  How’d he do it?  Here’s what he posted online: “3 years.  Down 135lbs.  No booze, No sugar, workout 4 times a week (or more) now counting macros”.  Good for you!

“My need to cause laughter forces me to question
how a country can embrace a smart, educated,
warm, funny First Lady like Michelle Obama
then somehow be OK with a surgically-
enhanced, cold-hearted Yugoslavian escort
who clearly hates her husband’” 
– Chuck Lorre during his speech at the Project Angel Food
Angel Awards dinner.  Apropos of…well, nothing.

I’m opposed to the death penalty.  That said, welcome to the 21^st century, where we livestream executions.  Well, we livestream conception, birth, and everything else, so why not?  We’re getting to be more and more like the ancient Romans every day.  Why not do it in a stadium and sell tickets?  Or perhaps a pay-per-view situation?  And there’s no taking any chances with those pesky injections.  This one is by firing squad.  Well, given the country we live in, I assume there is no shortage of sharpshooters.  Forget about OnlyFans and tune in for OnlyFiringSquads!  Or perhaps we should bring back hanging.  I’ve always been partial to a well-hung man.  Frankly, when any part of our life even remotely resembles a Jennifer Lawrence film, can the Apocalypse be far behind?

Every once in a while, a headline catches my eye.  “Christian TikTok Influencer and Missionary Arrested for Allegedly Sexually Abusing Children in Haiti”.  First off, I question anyone who is simultaneously a missionary and an influencer.  And, should there be any doubt, the influencer in this case is a male.  A bleached blond male at that (not that I’m one to cast aspersions on such proclivities).  It should go without saying that the children in question were also male.  The case involves 23-year-old Maylon Foshee, who has over 100K followers on TikTok.  According to documents filed in US District Court, he’s been charged with “engaging in illicit sexual conduct with minors in a foreign country”.  The allegations claim that while he was doing missionary work in Haiti, he let children stay at his house.  Three boys claim to have been sexually abused when they were 14 years old.  One claims he resisted Foshee’s advances… until he was promised a US passport.  At least we know the going rate.

Weeks ago I revealed New York 1^st Congressional District candidate Chris Gallant’s previous “modeling” experience for a series of leather fetish ads.  At the time, I was curious what the response of the voters would be.  Like me, they seem nonplussed.  According to polls, the photos from 2010 seem to have given Gallant a bump – not his first, I’m guessing.  He acknowledged the images as a part of his past that he was not ashamed of, and trust me, he has nothing to be ashamed of (you can check out our website for proof).  Then he said he wanted to “Make Politics Sexy Again”.  Which begs the question – when was the last time politics was sexy?  Surely it wasn’t during the Taft administration, unless that’s when chubby chasing started.  Maybe it was during the term of that “bachelor” president, James Buchanan.  Gallant is focusing on his career as a Black Hawk pilot for the National Guard, a firefighter on Long Island, and an air traffic controller at JFK.  And he’s doing so in tight T-shirts.  He has my vote!

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Kevin in Los Angeles: “I just read that Jonathan Lipnicki is naked in that movie about Chris Hansen.  Have you seen it?  And ‘it’?”

There is nothing I won’t do for my fans – and that includes sitting through Primetime.  I’ve met Robert Pattinson and found him to be charming.  He even smiled!  But he plays Hansen like he’s Nosferatu.  He’s brooding, morose, and devoid of much range – kinda like Kristen Stewart’s whole career!  I can’t blame the actors entirely.  It’s hard to judge acting when there is such a terrible script.  Anyway, you didn’t want a movie review.  I can tell you that little Lipnicki is all grown up and does, in fact, show his “little Lipnicki”.  He plays one of the guys who has a “sweet tooth” for young guys.  He shows up at the decoy’s house.  The “young guy” turns around and, boom, Lipnicki’s pants are down and he covers himself with whipped cream.  I can’t tell you how many times that has happened to me (and I’m sure to Mamie Van Doren).  As to his…“talent”, you can see it on BillyMasters.com.

­­When we’re not ready for primetime, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Can I take a moment to defend Andy Cohen?  I don’t think how much you pay someone should reflect your net worth.  It should be based on the going rate.  Now, I must confess, I don’t know what babysitters get paid.  But I’m guessing maybe half of what you’d pay one of the lower-level male “companions”.  Did that help?  That’s the type of story you’ll find on BillyMasters.com – the site that works hard for the money.  If you’ve got something you’d like me to get to the bottom of, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before AI takes over the world (which is unlikely since it’s too busy making Trevor Donovan into Bamm-Bamm).  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Ricky Martin got tongues wagging last week at a football game between the Baltimore Ravens and the Dallas Cowboys which took place in Rio de Janeiro in an effort to make American football somewhat more international.  During the halftime show, Ricky performed alongside Brazilian pop star Pedro Sampaio, who happens to be bisexual.  They did their song, “Pikito, Pikito”, which I’m told translates as “quick kiss, quick kiss”.  At the end of the song, Pedro leaned over and gave Ricky a quick kiss!  How very literal of him.  Of course, you can see the performance on BillyMasters.com.

Tuc Watkins and Andrew Rannells have been travelling through Spain and sharing photos on social media.  Something Tuc posted caught my eye.  “I love architecture.  I have dated architects like groupies date rock stars.  Art hangs on walls.  Architecture holds up the sky.  It is my favorite artistic discipline.  Calatrava is my favorite.  Andrew knows he’s my ‘Hall Pass’.”  So, if you have a hankering for a bit of Tuc, become an architect!

Some more good news for Rannells (like he needs anything more than being with Tuc) – it was just announced that he will be the lead in It’s a Wonderful Life on Broadway.  The play, which has never appeared on the Great White Way, will be staged as a “live radio play” and will feature Rannells as George Bailey alongside Megan Hilty as Mary and Tituss Burgess as Clarence.  Rounding out the cast will be the husband-and-wife team of Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna.  Believe it or not, this will not be the couple’s first pairing on Broadway.  They appeared in Chicago together back in 2007.  It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play opens on November 18^th and runs through January 3^rd.

One of my favorites, Trevor Donovan, has a new project.  To be more accurate, his likeness is appearing in Bedrock, an AI-generated concept about the adult children from The Flintstones.  I suppose it’s superfluous to say that AI Trev is starring as the adult version of Bamm-Bamm.  Either way you look at it, he fills out his leopard sarong to a T – as you will see on BillyMasters.com.

Speaking of sexy studs, singer David Hernandez (from American Idol) received a proposition from his beau, Derek Anthony.  The couple posted photos from the proposal, which took place in Paris with the Eiffel Tower in the background.  Needless to say, David said yes.  Félicitations.

Meanwhile over at SiriusXM, Andy Cohen was gabbing with newly returned Bravo-lebrity Jeff Lewis (Still Flipping Out).  While talking about their kids, Cohen revealed that he pays his 23-year-old babysitter $30 an hour to watch his two kids.  “Oh, hmm.  That sounds cheap to me, especially from someone with your money,” said Lewis.  He continued, “She was there for two hours and you gave her 60 bucks?  Did that even cover the cab?” – as if a 23-year-old babysitter was taking a cab!  Cohen clarified the transaction – she was there for two hours and 15 minutes, so he gave her $70.  “I probably would’ve given her one hundred for two hours, two kids,” said Lewis.

In a circuitous way, Lewis was part of another story courtesy of his ex, Gage Edward – who is (at least legally) the father of their daughter, Monroe.  Gage is currently engaged to Scott Anderson, who had also previously dated Jeff Lewis.  How very lesbian of them!

Sophia Bush recently revealed that she married galpal Ashlyn Harris back in the summer of 2025.  Why the secrecy?  She said sometimes there are things you want to keep private.  “It was so precious, and zero pressure.  I will never forget it, and I think wedding days sometimes aren’t like that.”  Says the former Mrs. Chad Michael Murray and the former Mrs. Grant Hughes.  You know what they say – third time’s a charm.

Meanwhile, former Secretary of Homeland Security and dog killer Kristi Noem filed for divorce from her husband of 34 years, Bryon Noem.  Not surprisingly, she cited “irreconcilable differences” as the grounds.  I’ll say it – what a boob!  Make that two boobs!

“Should I just start on OnlyFans and show
soft cock in really tight underwear and just
soft cock and retire?  Or just keep trying?’” 
– Pete Davidson weighs his career options.  Well, dozens of women
(including Kardashians) can’t be all wrong.

I must confess, I am not someone who is overly enamored with Madonna.  That’s actually not true – I am a big fan of “classic Madonna”.  You know, from the ‘80s and ‘90s.  Once she picked up that guitar and tried to show off the three chords she learned out of a book, I was kinda done (the cowboy hat didn’t help).  That said, I marvel at her ability to stay relevant these many decades/centuries later.  But I do worry that she’s on the path to turning into someone like Mamie Van Doren, who at 95 is still showing up topless (we’ll get to her in a minute).  She is what some might consider a “cautionary tale” – and a glimpse into what the next 20 years of Madonna will look like.

Madonna was back, front and center, at the recent VMAs.  Looking at stills, I was impressed by how good she looked.  Her face appeared less puffy and pulled than recently, and she almost looked like Madonna.  I watched her performance and thought it went well – unremarkable by her past extraordinary VMA performances, but good enough.  Then I saw her speaking and understood why many felt that she appeared “disoriented” – kinda like Cher attempting to give a Grammy award to the late Luther Vandross.  But Cher is 80.  Madonna is 68 – and I want to say “only 68”.  Still, 68 is no kid, despite being winched and corseted – that poor woman could break a hip!  Still, it wasn’t a cape, and we can all be grateful for that.  For her performance, she was reunited with former beau Tony Ward, who made Madonna look positively youthful!  She was also joined by pals Sabrina Carpenter, Charli XCX, Debi Mazar, Seth Rogen, Julia Garner, and even gay “billionaire” Tristan Schukraft.

Since I mentioned Mamie Van Doren, the former starlet released a memoir called You Thought I Was Dead: My Life of Celebrities, Sex, and Champagne.  Her previous memoir, Playing The Field, came out in 1987 and was a hoot.  That volume was somewhat sanitized because, well, some of the people were still alive!  No such concerns for this volume, which I’m told not only fills in those gaps, but revisits some of her more colorful affairs.  There’s even an extended section about Rock Hudson, who was her date for the 10^th Golden Globe Awards (for reference, the upcoming awards will make the 84^th Globes).  “He came on to me, and in my book I told about having a Crimmins skirt and him getting very passionate and rolling on the kitchen floor.”  I had a puppy who did the same thing when I wore a skirt, but that’s (hopefully) another story!

Viewers were concerned when doyenne Joy Behar was missing from The View last week.  Turns out, Behar had a misstep backstage.  “Joy caught a heel backstage but is on the mend and should be back on the show mid next week,” say her reps.  Due to Whoopi making a movie in the Hamptons, Joy has been moderating the show four times a week (five if you count The Weekend View).  This led to an awkward situation with a gaggle of panelists and no leader.  Sunny Hostin took the helm one day.  Sara Haines, who actually had moderated the show once in the past, stepped up the next day.  And The Weekend View was hosted by the original “Young One”, Debbie Matenopoulos, who was the first host in “View” history to be fired.  He who laughs last, laughs best!

Our Ask Billy question comes from Tony in Las Vegas: “I read you were at Kathy Griffin’s show last week.  I was also there and had a question.  She mentioned being out of work for eight years after the Trump head photo, but I was sure I saw her at Carnegie Hall shortly after that.  Am I right?”

First, let me say something that has nothing to do with Tony’s question – could someone please turn off the AC during shows in Las Vegas?  I went from the balmy Vegas Strip to the arctic Criss Angel Theater.  If anyone saw me with my arms crossed, I wasn’t being judgmental – I was suffering from hypothermia!  That said, the Trump head photo was posted on May 30, 2017.  And once that photo went viral, it is true – her tour gigs were canceled.  However, Tony is also right – Kathy did indeed perform to a sold-out crowd at Carnegie Hall on June 26, 2018 – about a year later.  That was historic for another reason.  The night before, Griffin played to a sold-out crowd at Radio City Music Hall.  Selling out two legendary venues on consecutive nights in NYC is something not many can boast.  So how does that explain Griffin’s claims of “no paid work” for 8 years?  There is a potential loophole.  Very often, performers rent out a venue themselves and sell the tickets.  So, these may not have technically been “paid gigs”, although she certainly made money on them.  These New York dates followed the international portion of her Laugh Your Head Off tour, which took place in October and November of 2017 – roughly 5 months after the photo.  She did shows in Singapore, Australia, Germany, Sweden, Iceland, the UK and Ireland.  After that, the tour moved to North America by way of Ottawa, Ontario on May 23, 2018.  Then there were the aforementioned NYC dates, followed by Los Angeles, Chicago, Skokie, Miami, San Diego and St. Louis.  This was all covered in her film, Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a Story, which is a terrific documentary and can be seen on YouTube.com.

­When I’m telling tales about two comics, it’s time to end yet another column.  By the by, Kathy Griffin is still on tour (dates can be found on KathyGriffin.com).  In fact, she’ll be in Boston at The Wilbur on October 3^rd.  And since I know someone out there is wondering, Carrot Top has never said he is gay.  While none of us want to claim that face as our own, his body certainly deserves some attention.  That attention may be coming from a woman named Amanda Hogan, who has been romantically linked with him since 2009.  For more about this and other non-vegetable-related subjects, check out BillyMasters.com – the site that always delivers the meat.  If you need me to do some deep digging into a story, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I put on a mask and go to a lesbian bar!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

My readers who came of age in the ‘90s were probably far more taken with Jonathan Taylor Thomas, the fetching, polite tyke on Home Improvement – a show with as many troubled souls as it had cast members.  While his onscreen brothers had their skirmishes with the law, JTT eschewed public scrutiny and somewhat disappeared at the height of his popularity…until last week.  In the wee small hours of Monday, September 21^st, JTT had an encounter with the police when a car he was in stopped in the middle of a Westlake Village intersection.  Although JTT was simply a passenger, police suspected something was awry.  They said he “appeared intoxicated, continually exited the vehicle and approached the deputies, distracting them from their investigation”.  When they tried to clear him from the scene, he allegedly “kicked a deputy in the stomach”.  He was arrested (although it was later characterized as “detained”).  The driver was arrested for driving under the influence.

In a curious bit of theatre news, a revival of Damn Yankees will open on Broadway this spring.  Taking on the pivotal roles of Mr. Applegate and Lola will be, naturally, Neil Patrick Harris and Julianne Hough.  I believe dinner service starts promptly at 4:30PM.

In some actually exciting theatrical news, Patti LuPone is returning to the stage…in a solo show.  But that isn’t the exciting part.  The play is Full Gallop, and it will be staged off-Broadway.   The show was originally done by Mary Louise Wilson back in 1995 and was described thusly: “When she is unceremoniously fired as editor-in-chief of Vogue, Diana Vreeland must reinvent herself, and her industry, yet again.”  It’s been said that Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly was more Vreeland than Wintour.  Sounds like Patti to a “T”.  You can judge for yourself when the show opens on January 17^th at City Center Stage II.  It’s currently slated for a 12-week run.

Since we’re starting on a dour note, I was sad to get a text last week informing me about the death of gay porn superstar Kevin Williams.  It’s been fascinating seeing all the posts on social media from gay men “of a certain age” talking about how he was their gay ideal.  Not since Leo and Lance did someone embody almost perfect physical beauty alongside a true enjoyment of gay sex.  Unlike many of the gay male superstars of the ‘80s, he was not only unquestionably gay, but an unabashed bottom (a receptacle, if you will).  It’s impossible for any gay man over 50 to look at a lazy Susan and not get aroused!  At the end of the ‘80s, he disappeared at the height of his twink-dom, only to return a decade later.  In 1998, he emerged as a man – no less beautiful, no less athletic, and no less a bottom (it didn’t hurt that he was joined by his then-partner, the equally beautiful Lane Fuller).  After a handful of films, he retreated to his private life in Southern California.  We stayed in touch throughout the years, and I knew he had been in a great deal of physical pain for some time.  It’s my hope that he is finally resting peacefully, knowing he will not be forgotten.

“Today I’m here at my ranch
exercising some of my polo ponies.’” 
– John Walsh makes the most entitled white guy statement
ever while endorsing some supplement on a TV infomercial.

Last month, a bar in Greenfield, Massachusetts called Last Ditch made news after announcing Saturdays would be “mask-optional”.  It was noted that the other nights would still require masks.  Did I slip into some sort of time warp and it’s 2020 all over again?  Needless to say, the people who responded to this news were mostly people who wouldn’t be going to this club to begin with (which I suppose includes moi).  While many are categorizing the club as a lesbian bar, it’s reportedly somewhat diverse – although from what I’ve read, the lady-loving community makes up a large portion of the clientele.  When the esteemed Boston Globe reported this story, it surprisingly provoked the ire of the Western Massachusetts club of the Communist Party.  Now, I’ve been to Russia – I wouldn’t be surprised if some of those female comrades wouldn’t be at home at the Last Ditch.  Some of them may have actually dug ditches, but that’s a whole other kettle of borsch!  But what does any of this have to do with Communists?  They issued a statement: “The Western Massachusetts CPUSA rejects the use of conflicts among LGBTQIA+ people and organizations as a tool of division by the extreme right.  We affirm our solidarity with all those struggling against the genocide of transgender people.”  Which begs the question – Huh?

The big story of the week is…Carrot Top?  Whoever thought I’d consider Carrot Top a big story?  And yet, while I was in Las Vegas seeing Kathy Griffin (more on that later), Carrot Top was hospitalized following an apparent suicide attempt, which occurred a few days after a court hearing regarding allegations of extortion.  If everyone in this story was speaking Spanish, it would make one helluva telenovela!  The story has a whole lotta allegations, so try and keep up.  The legal part stems from allegations made by “singer” Brian Evans (some sources refer to him as a “crooner”).  Evans had worked as an opening act for Carrot Top (who we will refer to as CT) at Luxor in Las Vegas.  Evans alleged that CT sent him an “unsolicited sexually explicit video”.  If I had a nickel…  Through lawyers, CT claimed that Evans demanded various amounts of money ranging from several hundred thousand to several million dollars, or he’d release the video.  Obviously, Evans has denied those allegations.  Both parties were in court hashing this out days before CT’s alleged suicide attempt.  Since then, CT’s lawyers have asked the court to stop Evans from releasing any “intensely private material on a docket monitored by national media”.  The filing also refers to Carrot Top as a “national icon and entertainment treasure”.  To say nothing of the benefits to eyesight!

I know what you’re thinking – what is on the video?  For that, we go back to 2021, when CT met one Zachary Defazio on Grindr.  This took place in Winter Park, FL – where CT owns property.  Despite Defazio only being 19 years old, they met at a bar.  According to Defazio’s declaration, CT bought him alcohol and he was too inebriated to consent to a sexual encounter (we assume someone on Grindr wasn’t necessarily opposed to it either).  It’s alleged that is when the video was taken – roughly in October 2021.  In a separate legal action, Defazio’s attorneys accused CT of “sexual exploitation, emotional distress and furnishing alcohol to a person under 21”.  They were seeking a $7.5 million settlement, which would remain “confidential” – in other words, it wouldn’t show up in a Billy Masters column.  And yet, here it is.  Although that case was recently dropped, Defazio’s declaration can be found on BillyMasters.com – along with a still photograph purported to be from the video in question.

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Harris in NYC: “What do you know about Chris Gallant?  He’s running for Congress, and I read he did gay porn.  True?”

Not exactly, although he does show all.  For those who don’t know, Gallant is an Army vet, a Black Hawk pilot, a former air traffic controller, a member of the National Guard, and a volunteer fireman.  And he’s gay.  All of this tells me two things: 1) he’s far more civic-minded than anyone I know and B) he’s hot.  Why?  Army, Black Hawk, National Guard, Fireman – they all have calendars.  Roll them all up into a 37-year-old, and chances are, he’s hot.  OK, being an air traffic controller probably brings down the curve, but a gay air traffic controller has got to be hotter than most.  Chris is the Democratic nominee for New York’s 1^st congressional district.  So you can guess that his political opponents have been looking for some dirt on him.  First, someone found out he had been a go-go boy at the legendary gay nightclub, Splash.  YAWN – who didn’t dance naked at Splash?  Hands?  Just me?  Then they produced photos of Chris in bondage gear.  You know what Gallant did?  He addressed it.  “I wasn’t scared flying Black Hawk helicopters in the Middle East.  And I sure as hell won’t let some pictures from my past scare me.”  His lawyer went into a bit more detail.  “The photographs are authentic and were taken during a private, consensual photo session involving Chris and his then-partner, with whom he was in a committed four-year relationship,” says Gallant’s lawyer.  He added, “Chris was also friends with the owner of Mr. S Leather, and the shoot was intended to be fun and personal, with the understanding that Mr. S could use select images in connection with certain products.”  I can confirm that I had a whole lotta fun with my person while perusing the pics, and really had no need for additional “products”.  You can check him out on BillyMasters.com.

When a Democrat is getting spanked in photos and in the press, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I’m sure you all see through me (although usually it’s my clothes that are transparent) and recognize my main reason for joining the human shield around the Kennedy Center is for the chance to be shackled next to a Kennedy or Schlossberg…or even a Shriver.  But, please, keep those Skakel scamps away from me – I’d like to leave the protest in one piece (and breathing)!  But no matter what, I’ll report on it at BillyMasters.com – the site that always takes a stand, even when I’m in repose.  Should you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we reveal which came first – the chicken or Larry Flynt!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Instead, I was in Las Vegas to see Kathy Griffin at Planet Hollywood.  To be accurate, she was in the Criss Angel Theater.  New Face, New Tour is prime Kathy.  Not only does the new face look fantastic, the 65-year-old comic bared her midriff for the entire show!  She also revealed that when she got her most recent facelift, she had her boobs lifted – and then showed them to us (well, encased in a fetching black bra).  The story of a subsequent breast mishap involving a dog and a dentist is best saved for those who buy a ticket.  The show was two and a half hours of wide-ranging material – from celebrity encounters to touring travails; from the aforementioned facelift to RFK Jr.  She even read an e-mail she got from Gloria Steinem regarding the late Larry Flynt.  Kathy took a moment to sum up the show: “I don’t mean to brag.  I’m not Dave Chappelle.  I can’t sell out stadiums.  I’m not Chris Rock.  But goddammit, don’t act like you could come to see any other comedian who’s gonna have an e-mail from Gloria Steinem talking about Larry Flynt fucking chickens!”  Should you want more details (or confirmation that she isn’t a black male comedian), check out her upcoming tour dates on KathyGriffin.com.

Even if you didn’t read it here months ago, by now most people know Whoopi Goldberg will take a little time away from The View to shoot a movie in the Hamptons.  Women Like Us will find Whoopi alongside pals like Jenifer Lewis, Vivica A. Fox and Vanessa Williams (Michelle Obama is a producer of the Netflix flick).  Due to the shooting schedule, Goldberg will only be able to host the daytime talker on Mondays.  Tuesday through Friday, Joy Behar will slip into the moderator’s chair (only an act of Congress could get her to show up on a Monday).  Filling out the table will be some View alums – Star Jones, Sherri Shepherd, Debbie Matenopoulos, and Lisa Ling will rotate throughout.  Interestingly, original moderator Meredith Vieira was hoping to participate, but had a conflict.

Another View veteran is returning to New York City.  Fresh off her triumphant hosting gig on Jimmy Kimmel Live and her off-Broadway show run, Rosie O’Donnell is headed back to the Great White Way.  She will be joining the cast of The Rocky Horror Show.  Rachel Dratch, who plays the narrator, is taking two weeks off.  So Rosie will be guiding the tawdry tale from October 6^th through the 18^th.  Get your tickets fast!

Being perpetually single, I’m in the dark on many things that couples share (except for those few couples that have shared me).  I never thought of getting a colonoscopy as a team effort, but Jonathan Bennett and Jaymes Vaughan do.  The darling duo decided it would be “fun” to do the prep for the procedure together.  And, being high-profile gays, they filmed it.  They say they did it to destigmatize the whole colonoscopy process.  But frankly, I think they just wanted to show off being a couple of pounds lighter.  You can see (but not smell) the prep on BillyMasters.com.

El Presidente has now banned CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House.  Not that anyone needs me to tell them what to do, but I think every single media outlet should walk out in solidarity.

I’m not one of those people who publicly takes a stand or puts himself on the line.  I do have strong convictions, but usually I express them from the comfort of my bed, typically sometime after noon.  I was sad to have been unable to join the group of people gathered around the Kennedy Center.  Now that the courts have (once again) restricted El from putting his name on the building, our fearful leader said, “it’ll end up being ripped down.”  Nobody considers this an idle threat – see the East Wing (or, rather, the rubble of the East Wing).  To ensure history isn’t repeated, a federal judge ruled that the administration must give 30 days’ written notice before any structural changes, “including but not limited to any ‘demolition’ of the main building.”  Since court rulings can be ignored, people have vowed to create a human shield around the building should it come to that.  Hands Around the Kennedy Center was announced by Kerry Kennedy (sister of RFK Jr.) to symbolically protect the memorial.  The event’s organizer, Hands Off the Arts, plan to spring into action should destruction be imminent.  Since I missed last weekend’s event, I’ll attend the next one…schedule permitting (and if it isn’t raining…or snowing…or too cold).

“My husband is in love with his valet.’” 
– One of the many things Princess Diana allegedly told her brother,
Charles Spencer.  Such rumors about the King have circulated before. 
And when you think about it, Valet/Camilla – really an honest mistake.

I like Mariska Hargitay.  She’s television royalty.  But I’m not sure who decided she should host the Emmy Awards.  She’s not exactly what I call a laugh riot.  Still, she was game.  She was cracking “jokes”, “singing” and “dancing” – all with variable levels of success.  She did everything but drag out her mother’s violin!  That said, she certainly looked lovely, even if I think she appears more at home in slacks than gowns.  I also didn’t mind the now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t hair that was similar to the Crissy doll!  The whole evening gave her the chance to take a victory lap after winning two Emmys for her documentary, My Mom Jayne.

The tribute to Dolly Parton by Reba McEntire was classy and simple – exactly what Dolly would have wanted.  In fact, Dolly was a passive participant in the performance.  Reba was wearing Dolly’s personal earrings and a butterfly ring which the Parton family loaned her.  McEntire’s white gown was chosen because it was similar to what Dolly wore when she sang “Appalachian Memories” on her 1983 Live in London performance.

I was particularly pleased to see Bob Mackie close out the perennially pesky In Memoriam sequence – especially since he died earlier the same day!  So much for the well-worn “we didn’t have enough time to include so-and-so” excuse which is trotted out year after year.  The very first time I met Bob was with Mitzi Gaynor – and if there is a gayer way to open a sentence, I’m not aware of it.  When I approached to introduce myself, he looked at me and said, “What a fantastic jacket!”  I couldn’t imagine a better compliment from Bob Mackie than about my clothes.  I didn’t dare tell him that the jacket (which I still have, and the photo from that meeting is on BillyMasters.com) was from the long-defunct International Male catalogue.  Over the years, we often spent time in each other’s company, shared meals, vacations, and even kibitzed on Billy Masters LIVE! …twice!  In addition to his undeniable talent, he was a warm, genuine person who was fiercely loyal to his friends and wickedly funny.  One of a kind.

Our Ask Billy question this week is from Michael in Chicago: “Whatever happened to that hot Italian model who was called the world’s hottest math teacher?”

While Pietro Boselli might have left math behind (and really, who needs it?), he is still modeling.  Actually, he got his PhD in Engineering at University College London.  But once he was discovered for his looks, well, he never looked back.  He’s now got his own website, the predictable PietroBoselli.com, and he is showing off his wares along with what he wears.  He’s now revealing a new talent…as an artist.  Yes, and he’s displaying some of his abstract art at a gallery in Miami called Pietro’s Atelier.  But, fret not – he’s still modeling.  In some recent underwear shots, he showed he can still stand out…perhaps with the benefit of some judicious fluffing.  You can decide for yourself on BillyMasters.com.

When a model is in need of fluffing, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  After all, who better than moi when it comes to fluffing a hot, international model with a foreign tongue?  And if he uses that foreign tongue… well, there’s no telling what could happen.  Except I probably would tell you via BillyMasters.com – the site that never holds anything back.  If you’ve got a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before that guy in Glendale comes sniffing around (which gives you about 6 months).  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Brace yourselves.  It’s time for another Fayewatch.  In this story, Miss Dunaway has a supporting role – which is a step up from being unemployed.  This leading lady of the story is Dolly Parton.  After 9 to 5 and Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Dolly was up for the role of Selena in Supergirl – the role that was ultimately played by Faye!  Back in 1982, Parton told Entertainment Tonight, “There’s a part, a starring role, of a witch…She’s funny, and she’s magical, and she’s all this and that – and I might do it.”  So, what went wrong?  “I’ll have to go to London for three months, so it depends on if I want to leave home for that much, if I want to be a witch that bad.  I think going from a secretary to a madame to a witch wouldn’t be bad.”  Years later, she revealed why she turned down the role.  “I got offered $7 million several years ago to play the part that Faye Dunaway played in Supergirl.  I was kind of insulted.  I was impressed with the money but I said, “Why are you asking me to play an evil witch?  Do I come across as an evil witch to you?”  Presumably Faye Dunaway, who is impossible to insult, had no problem playing an evil witch.  But I suspect she didn’t get anywhere near Dolly’s $7 million paycheck.  In fact, the actual Supergirl in the film, Helen Slater, was paid a whopping $70K.

Legendary singer Tom Jones wants to make it clear he did not quit the UK version of The Voice.  “ITV made this decision – obviously a while ago, and I was told just recently.  The reason given is because of a financial difficulty with insurance.  They now say in the press they wanted to ‘refresh’ the show, and with a new coaching line-up there wouldn’t be a chair for me.  They are offering a much-reduced role where I would make an appearance but without being actually involved from the start, and I’m not thrilled about that.  So the only thing I know right now is that there’s never a good time to fire an 86-year-old who’s still pretty good at his job.”  Why, oh why, ITV!

Speaking of London, we previously told you that Cole Escola returned to the title role in Oh, Mary! in the West End production.  One of those performances was filmed for future broadcast, and it’s just been announced that it will turn up on HBO.  Cole shot a cheeky promo video in his Mary Todd Lincoln regalia bursting into HBO’s offices and being directed down the hall from the queen of the network, Sarah Jessica Parker.  She asks “Mary” if she’d like some water, which was presented on a platter by Cynthia Nixon.  “Mary” declined.  I guess Kristin Davis has joined Kim Cattrall and Chris Noth on the “out” list.  You can see the clip on BillyMasters.com.

Our pal Sherri Shepherd might have lost her day job, but she’s bounced back with a nightly gig, courtesy of her old pals at Disney.  She’ll make some history by being the first female to play the role of the genie in the Broadway production of Aladdin.  She joins the cast on October 16^th and will stay through the end of the year.  By the by, this is not Sherri’s first foray into musicals.  Back in 2014, she joined Keke Palmer in the Broadway production of Cinderella as the first Black actress to play the role of Cinderella’s stepmom.  Congrats!!

Sherri will have some interesting company on the Great White Way.  Julia Roberts is returning to Broadway.  Now, I know someone out there is thinking, “Billy, you’re thinking of Eric Roberts.”  While I am often thinking of Eric Roberts, Julia did in fact appear on Broadway way back in 2006 for two months.  I’m not sure why – perhaps there was a writers’ strike, or maybe she needed to let an unfortunate haircut grow out.  She was in Richard Greenberg’s Three Days of Rain and she played two roles – so, really, it’s like she was there for four months!  Her costars were Paul Rudd and Bradley Cooper, and the director was Joe Mantello.  Julia’s returning to Broadway in the play Small Mouth Sounds, where she will again be directed by Mantello and co-star with Paul Rudd!  Joining them will be Sarah Paulson, Martin Freeman, Greta Lee and Isaac Powell.  Shows begin on February 18^th and end on June 17^th.  BTW, the Tony Awards are on June 13^th.  Coincidence?

The multitalented Jinkx Monsoon has had an extraordinary past few years.  In 2023, she was the first drag queen to play Mama Morton in Chicago on Broadway.  The following year, she appeared off-Broadway in Little Shop of Horrors.  In 2025, she made her Carnegie Hall debut and then took over the lead in the Broadway production of Oh, Mary!.  Earlier this year, she played Judy Garland in Beyond the Rainbow in London.  And currently she’s back in the West End once again as Mary Todd Lincoln.  Is there nothing she can’t do?  Well, she has a few dream roles, and she’s putting them out in the universe.  “I really want to play Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd someday, but I’m willing to wait until it’s the time.”  She also has her eyes on the title role in Mame.  “I know it will eventually happen, and I hope that when the stars align, I’m right there to play her.  But I want to be the next Mame on Broadway, however that takes place…The show is about chosen family, and I think we as a society as a western civilization have started to realize the value in chosen family, whether you’re queer or not.”

“I just picked up Lucy from her abridged first day
of school and a little kid came up to me and said,
‘Are you her grandpa?’  I said, ‘No, I’m her daddy!’” 
– Andy Cohen shares a phrase he uses every day of his adult life –
but this time, it was while referring to his daughter.

Andy Cohen as a daddy?  We’re all used to that.  But Andy as a grandpa?  Well, that’s new.  But might I say that he handles these things with humor and is one of the most well-adjusted of our gay luminaries.  He’s always kept at least one Nike-clad foot in the real world.  But how would he feel about being banned from a gay bathhouse??  Don’t judge him – he’s dating, he’s not dead!  There is a gay bathhouse in Thailand – a country bursting with gay bathhouses – that is banning men over 55.  Wellmax is touting itself as a “state-of-the-art” facility which they claim is the world’s “first gay saunatainment”.  It is equipped with Himalayan salt sauna, dark herbal steam room, ice baths, overhead cold buckets, Hall of Mirrors, immersive rooms, a dry maze, a wet maze, and a relax lounge with self-serve ice cream.  It’s kinda like Disneyland – but with less gay people.  They allow guests aged 20-55 and their admission policy states that “photo ID may be checked at the door.”  Note they say “may” – not “will”.

Closer to home, the infamous Glendale Sniffer has struck again.  Calese Crowder was arrested last week after violating his parole, which stated (and I quote) that “he shall not come within 6 feet of people’s butts”!   In August, 911 received several calls from people who said Crowder crouched down and approached them from behind in a Marshalls – oh, the humanity!  Perhaps he mistook their slogan of “Get the good stuff” for “Get a good sniff”!  For the violation, he’s been sentenced to 170 days in jail, where I suspect he’ll have more than enough butts to sniff.

I got an intriguing Ask Billy question from George in NYC: “I read your story about what is happening at The Crown & Anchor.  Did you know the same thing is happening on Fire Island?  Is this all a Ponzi scheme?”

I assume George is referring to our report that Tristan Schukraft, self-proclaimed billionaire and proprietor of The Crown & Anchor in Provincetown opted to not open the hotel rooms for his first season.  He claimed they needed to be renovated.  I wondered if that was a task best tackled off season.  There are similar concerns over one of his Fire Island investments.  Back in 2024, Tristan acquired a number of properties in the Pines Commercial District which include The Blue Whale, the Pavilion, the Canteen, and a shuttered hotel.  He announced that this will be called The Tryst Fire Island.  While the businesses were operating this season, the hotel was not.  I’m told it is an eyesore and people constantly whisper, “I thought this was supposed to be done by now.”  Tristan issued a statement: “Development of The Tryst Fire Island hotel continues to move forward as we work through the permitting process with the Town of Brookhaven.  In the meantime, guests can expect ongoing upgrades across the Waterfront this season, including enhancements like a new awning at The Blue Whale and refreshed bathrooms throughout the property.”  A new awning?  Some WCs?  My, my, my – what a busy weekend he must have had!

When Tristan is drawn to fixer-uppers when it comes to properties and boyfriends, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Talk about having a lot of balls in the air!  I just discovered this column has some symmetry – both Marilyn Maye and Tuc Watkins are from Kansas City.  You can find more fun facts on BillyMasters.com – the site that always fills in those pesky gaps.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Harry Hamlin plays Abraham Lincoln to Rinna’s Mary Todd (even I’d buy a ticket to that)!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

As unlikely as that last story was, we have a topper.  Lisa Rinna is actively campaigning to join the Broadway cast of Oh, Mary!…as Mary!  She even released a video explaining her reasoning.  “I would like to play Mary Todd Lincoln in Oh, Mary!  We’re pushing for it but I don’t think they think I can do it.  So I want you to know that it’s something I would like to do and we’re trying to manifest it and make it happen.  But I don’t think they think – they, meaning the casting directors – I don’t think they think I can actually do it.  But I can.”  Rinna previously appeared on Broadway in 2007 as one of the numerous gals who played Roxie Hart in Chicago.

In a slightly more expected bit of casting, Leah Remini is joining the cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  Remini, no stranger to reality TV, previously had a TLC show about her family back in 2014.  More recently, she had a fantastic show about people who escaped the clutches of Scientologists.  Now, if they could finally track down Shelly Miscavige to join the cast, Bravo would have a show I’d actually watch!

Sometimes life imitates art.  Sometimes art imitates life.  And sometimes art imitates life imitating art.  That sure happened last week when Patti LuPone appeared during a special Fan Night performance of Titanique on Broadway (and she looked smashing).  Twice during the show, Jim Parsons in his role as Rose’s Mother addressed a life-sized cutout of Patti LuPone – a notable Mama Rose herself.  After his performance of “Rose’s Turn”, the real LuPone walked onstage to applaud him.  “The show is fabulous, it’s so funny, you’re wonderful!”  She then continued, “But your daughter?  Oh, she’s a handful!  And I would keep her away from that Jack Dawson.  The tight pants?  And I think he’s a bottom!”  You can see it on BillyMasters.com. 

Back in October of 2016, the revival of Falsettos opened with a cast that included Christian Borle, Andrew Rannells, Stephanie J. Block, Tracie Thoms, Brandon Uranowitz, and Betsy Wolfe.  The company is reuniting for a one-night-only benefit performance which will take place on October 18^th at Carnegie Hall – so you can bet your ass they’ll be practicing!  The event will benefit The BroadwayEveryDay Foundation and Family Equality.

This next item is in the column for two reasons: 1) Because I don’t think we’ve had nearly enough hot guys in this column and B) Because I’m a sucker for a segue.  Last week, Tuc Watkins turned 60.  Of course, Andrew Rannells took to the web because…well, when you’re dating someone as hot as Tuc, you don’t need any other reason.  Come to think of it, I bet he’s a sucker, too!  Happy birthday, Tuc. 

What is no longer being planned for London is a reunion of Jonathan Bailey and Ariana Grande.  The pair was scheduled to appear in Stephen Sondheim’s Sunday in the Park with George in the West End next summer.  As we previously reported, Ariana had already cancelled.  And now, Bailey has also pulled out – but gently.  No reason was given for his hasty exit other than saying that he made the decision “after much consideration”.  The producers are still going forward with plans, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire venture is scuttled.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson is about to once again tread the boards as bon vivant Truman Capote in the play Tru.  Following his sold-out limited off-Broadway run earlier in the year, this engagement will take place at London’s Menier Chocolate Factory from September 19^th through November 14^th.  In preparation, Jesse caught up with Vanessa Williams, who is in the musical version of The Devil Wears Prada in London.  The twosome chatted on Jesse’s podcast, Dinner’s On Me.  Back in 2017, they appeared together in a Sondheim tribute concert at the Hollywood Bowl.  They exchanged phone numbers and since then, he would occasionally send her photos of his kids or other updates, to which she never responded.  When Williams was on Broadway doing the play POTUS, he sent her and several of the cast members a message on closing night.  He got a text back from “Vanessa’s” number saying, “This is not Vanessa Williams!  Please stop texting me.”

Just as Jesse hits London, Vanessa Williams is leaving (Coincidence?  Who can say?).  Her final appearance as Miranda Priestly will be on September 19^th.  And yet the musical has extended its run through February 2027.  So that begs the question – who will be slipping into her Pradas?  While no official announcement has been made, people are whispering that Teri Hatcher is already in rehearsals!  While this is shocking, it’s not completely out of left field.  Hatcher did appear in the national tour of Cabaret back in 1999.  Prada needs a newsworthy name since it will celebrate its 800^th show on September 23^rd.  Sounds like the perfect time to launch the next star.

“I’ll just tell them I’m a drag queen
and everything will be fine!” 
– Marilyn Maye‘s answer when told that people only wanted to see
drag queens in Provincetown.  She just celebrated her 16^th year
entertaining the masses in Ptown.

Seeing Marilyn Maye at Provincetown Town Hall tells me that the season is coming to a close.  Like the last rose of summer, Auntie Marilyn not only hangs on but thrives.  She defies the odds and pulls off great shows year after year.  Yes, there are the occasional memory lapses in a lyric.  Hello?  She’s 98!  I’m lucky I remember the name of this column…and it’s my name!  Marilyn wove every bobble into the tapestry of the story she was telling – and invariably got a rapturous response from the capacity crowd.  This show had several special moments, but the unexpected highlight was when someone in the audience asked her to sing “What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?”.  It’s a song that hasn’t been in her act for a number of years and one the band hadn’t prepared.  After a few moments of discussion, out came an exemplary rendition of the classic – which she revealed she’s sung at quite a few gay weddings.  After the show, I joked that I expect to see her onstage at 100.  “Of course, Billy – I’m already booked!”  And I’ll be there!  In the meantime, some clips and pics from Ptown can be found on BillyMasters.com.

Dolly Parton always said if she were born a man, she’d have been a drag queen.  So it comes as no surprise that CNN mistakenly ran a photo of a Dolly Parton impersonator when announcing her death.  The only surprise is that the impersonator was a woman and not a man!  “We regret the error and apologize to the Parton family.”  The impersonator in question, Kelly Vohnn, was appalled.  “Somebody at CNN really messed up and didn’t do their research.  It was quite embarrassing, to be honest.”  Somewhere, I bet this gave Dolly a chuckle!

The Parton family announced updated plans for DollyFest.  The event was originally planned to celebrate Dolly’s 80^th birthday in January, but, due to health concerns, was pushed to next year.  The event will still take place – but now it will be a tribute to Dolly.  And, this being a tribute to Dolly Parton, you gotta double the festivals and double the fun.  There will be a weekend in January 2027 in Nashville.  A London event is still being planned.

And now, an uncomfortable Ask Billy question.  Jasper in Baltimore asks, “I read about John Barrowman acting like a diva on a flight.  What happened?”

First, let me say that John has always been lovely to me.  But I have a job to do, so here goes.  Last week, Barrowman was flying on American Airlines from Los Angeles to London – which is no picnic, let me tell you!  His party was in business class and he posted a video from the plane where he explained the situation: “Hi American – we have paid for the flagship service.  My father and my husband behind and the tickets were very expensive and we get on thinking we’d get pajamas with the flagship service.  Then you apparently only give them to the first two rows in business class.  What’s that all about?  So far, you’re not batting very high.  Meal order wrong and then told we don’t have exactly what everyone else is getting on the flight when we all have flagship service.  Can you explain?  Thank you.”  Many people saw this post, rolled their eyes and called him “entitled”.  Perhaps, but let me say this – if you pay for something, you should get it.  I am a loyal AAdvantage member, and I put my foot down when I don’t get what I am promised as well.  And American does claim that flagship service includes “premium pillows, blankets, and sleep amenities”.  Once he saw the comments, John pulled the video offline.  But, naturally, you can still see it on BillyMasters.com.

When one man’s amenities are another man’s necessities, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Proof positive that you don’t have to be a dame to be a diva – and I should know!  While you’re reading this scintillating bit of prose, I’m in Provincetown with the indefatigable Marilyn Maye.  I’m sure I’ll give you a full report next week on BillyMasters.com – the site you can read in your pajamas (for those of you who wear pajamas).  If you couldn’t grab a few seconds (or inches) of me in Ptown, you can drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you as soon as I get all the sand out of my various nooks and crannies.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Barbra Streisand isn’t dying (or transitioning).  And she isn’t performing.  But she is writing her first children’s book.  And By The Way will be coming out in March.  “I love being ‘Gamma Barbra’ to my three wonderful young grandchildren.  One of our favorite activities is reading picture books together – sometimes the same ones over and over again!  So, I thought it would be fun to write my own book…for them…and hopefully, for other parents.”  That’s all well and good, but please, Barbra, make it less than 992 pages!

Divas and books go together.  So this leads us to a special event at the upcoming Gay Days Anaheim.  Jaclyn Smith will be joining in the festivities!  On September 20^th, she’ll be doing a talk about her memoir, I Once Knew a Guy Named Charlie.  Tickets to the event include an autographed copy of the book and benefit Ability First, an organization that helps the disabled achieve their best.  Grab your tickets at GayDaysAnaheim.com.

One of Dolly’s passions was providing books to children.  The author of the Heated Rivalry books shares that passion.  Rachel Reid announced a gift of $300K to the Annapolis Valley libraries in Nova Scotia.  When five branches faced closure due to stalled municipal funding, Reid stepped in.  “I had to do it because I don’t know what the point is of being a successful author in Nova Scotia if you’re not going to use it for good.” 

Barry Manilow has been plagued with health issues since his cancer surgery in December.  And it seems he isn’t completely out of the woods.  He recently stopped a show mid-way due to “technical and vocal problems”, and then he cancelled a few others.  Now he has stepped away from what was billed as The Last Concerts.  “Hi everybody – Barry here.  And I want you to be the first to know that we’re going to take a quick break.  We just finished a fantastic summer tour.  29 shows in 68 days.  The shows were fantastic.  The audiences were fantastic.  And I sounded fantastic.  But it seems that we were pushing a little too hard.”  Feel better, Barry!

For months, people have been speculating about Gladys Knight’s mental acuity.  Her recent shows have been marred by mental lapses, a frail appearance, and the need for an enormous amount of help from her backup singers – who often had to sing lead.  Last week, Knight made an announcement: “After much soul searching I’ve decided that I will be easing into fewer performances while focusing on transitioning into the next stage of my career and life moving forward.”  And there’s your headline – Gladys Knight – Transitioning!

“How do you know what the fuck I am? 
I don’t ever share that part of my life.” 
– Chaka Khan’s response when an interviewer called her a “straight icon”. 
She added, “I am for everybody.  I don’t care what you sleep with at night. 
If your heart is in the right place, that’s all I care about.”

I don’t know anyone who disliked Dolly Parton.  People around the world have paid tribute to her.  Yes, we all heard about the Empire State Building lighting up pink in her honor.  Massachusetts’ largest bridges did the same.  A candlelight vigil took place in the Castro with instructions for people to wear wigs.  Provincetown had dozens show up in pink.  Dolly was a patron saint to the gay community.  She sang the Oscar-nominated song, “Travelin’ Thru” for the film Transamerica.  When asked specifically about gay and trans rights, she said she loved all people.  And she had no time for Christians who condemned her for supporting our community.  “If people want to pass judgment, they’re already sinning.  I try to love everybody.”

From advocating for the rights of all people to literacy to helping fund the Covid vaccine, Dolly was always giving.  Even those who didn’t agree with her views mourned her passing.  One of the most vocal is Ricky Schroder, who posted this: “I didnt agree with her advocating for Transgender & Covid Vaccine support…but Loved her anyway.  Thank you for choosing me Dolly to be your Movie Daddy.”  For those who don’t know, Ricky played Dolly’s dad in the film Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors and Dolly Parton’s Christmas of Many Colors.  His casting says something very important about both – Dolly did “love everybody”, while Ricky went against his beliefs for a gig!  His post went viral and many weighed in.  Boy George said, “Oh, shut up,” while Katie Couric simply said: “Ick.”  On a personal note, I was once at an abutting urinal to Ricky Schroder.  While I didn’t sneak a peek, he did seem terribly uncomfortable.  I finished first (as usual) and Ricky’s discomfort was magnified when he exited the restroom to find me chatting with his delightful then-wife, Andrea Bernard.  He pulled her away…quickly.

Parton’s appeal transcended music.  Despite her appearance, she always gave off warmth and authenticity and was brimming with love for all things.  Her physical appearance was not based on a single genuine attribute – but her heart was brimming with genuine love.  And she never forgot where she came from and retained her down-home style.  It’s almost poetic that her final appearance was at a truck stop.  I think that would have tickled her!  I met her a few times, the most notable being at the opening night of the musical version of 9 to 5 at the Ahmanson Theatre in Los Angeles (I was there due to the largess of the wise and powerful publicist, Ken Werther).  Dolly never said no to a fan – so much so that a team of security people had been hired to keep her sequestered.  At one point, Dolly had to walk through the crowd and someone yelled, “Make a hole” – something I’ve heard at more gatherings than I can count.  Suddenly, security surrounded her with a human shield.  Only one problem – I was inside the shield!  Dolly looked at me and said, “You must be pretty special to be in the inner circle.”  I said, “The best circle yet – and I’ve been in my share of circles!”  And we laughed – probably for different reasons.  Rest in peace, Dolly.

On the day Dolly died, a federal judge in Texas brought up her name in ruling on the interpretation of a bill which was passed in 2023.  People like Texas attorney general Ken Paxton have used this bill to restrict drag shows.  Judge David Hittner ruled that the bill restricts free speech and violates the First Amendment.  “Just as many people criticized Elvis’s signature hip gyrations and were offended by his display of male sexuality, [and] chastised Dolly Parton as a voluptuous sex symbol because of her big hair, flamboyant clothes and breast exposure…there are ‘erotic’ elements in countless popular performances that could be subject to both civil and criminal penalties.”  In his ruling, he had some advice.  “For those who find such activities as described in this case offensive, the solution is relatively simple…just don’t go.”  

Later that same day, Tim Curry also died.  Like Dolly, he was also 80.  Someone remarked that two notable drag queens died on the same day.  And it’s true – Curry’s most notable character was in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  And Dolly often said, “If I weren’t a woman, I’d have been a drag queen”.  Tim was definitely one of a kind and a formidable talent.

Our Ask Billy question was about another guy with killer looks.  Greg in Miami said, “I just saw some hot photos of a guy who looked like a younger Ryan Phillippe.  I found out it’s his son!  What do you know about him?”

Deacon Phillippe is certainly a chip off the old block – if we’re talking about a block of marble that was carved into a statue of Grecian proportions.  After graduating college last year, he’s been focused on writing and producing music – and occasionally DJing under the mononym Deacon (like Cher or Madonna or Sinbad).  Along the way, he got the attention of clothing designer Eli Russell Linnetz, who used Phillippe the younger as a model for his ERL line.  The shots have been successful and gotten lots of attention on social media.  Although, to tell you the truth, I don’t recall a stitch of clothing.  I’ll have to refer to the photographic evidence on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m raising an eyebrow at some youngsters, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  No offense to Deacon, who I’m sure is a lovely young man.  But he’s no Ryan – in his prime or now, for that matter.  What can I say?  I’m still driving a classic Celica!  For gossip that never goes out of style, head on over to BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t rely on rhinos to keep you horny!  If you have a question, don’t ask me on social media.  Just send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Luigi helps the sale of orange jumpsuits!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Many of our elder drag queens may be rebuffed by the recent RuPaul recruits, but they are working just as hard and reminding people who paved the way.  So I was tickled when I saw the show “Jurassic Drag” will take place during Palm Springs Pride.  It even has a cheeky tagline: “An event 65 million years in the making!”  The dinosaurs who will be roaming the desert include Miss Coco Peru, Jackie Beat, Sherry Vine, and Varla Jean Merman.  Why, their collective age is positively Paleozoic!!!  The date is November 6^th.  The venue is the Palm Springs Cultural Center.  The first show is already sold out, so rush to Ticketmaster or be part of extinction.

In an unfortunate yet hilarious transition, my beloved Charles Busch is returning to the wicked stage (wouldn’t he be great as Madame Morrible in Wicked?  Someone get on that).  Busch will be continuing his journey through the world of cabaret at the acclaimed 54 Below in the heart of New York City on September 11^th and 12^th.  OK, so September 11^th isn’t the best of dates for New Yorkers, but what are the chances?  His new show, Charles Busch Sings Johnny Mercer, promises to be a delight.  Grab your tickets at 54Below.org.

In case you’re in the neighborhood, Busch will reunite with many members of the original cast of his play, The Divine Sister, as a benefit for the Sharon Playhouse in Connecticut on August 28^th (that’s this Friday).  He’ll be joined by Julie Halston, Alison Fraser, Jennifer Van Dyke, and Jonathan Walker.  I’m even thinking of zipping out there.  The link is SharonPlayhouse.org.

Netflix and Michelle Obama just announced they are producing Women Like Us, a film about a recently widowed New Yorker who is whisked to the Hamptons on what would have been her 30^th anniversary by her best friends.  The widow in question is played by Vivica A. Fox, and her onscreen pals are some real-life friends – including Jenifer Lewis, Whoopi Goldberg, and Vanessa Williams.  Filming will take place in the Hamptons this fall.

Designer Marc Jacobs was just profiled by Vanity Fair.  In the course of their discussion, it was pointed out that Jacobs is the go-to when it comes to people facing legal issues.  Winona Ryder, Lil’ Kim and Courtney Love all put on their best Jacobs for their courtroom appearances.  This led to the designer making the following quip: “Go to Marc Jacobs for your trial outfits!”  When asked how he’d style Luigi Mangione for his upcoming trial, Jacobs said, “I think he looks pretty good the way he dresses, actually.”  Jacobs also called the killer with killer looks a “trendsetter”.  We hear that the maroon sweater Luigi sported at his 2024 arraignment sold out in a matter of hours.

In these days of at least implied censorship, Eugene Ionesco’s play Rhinoceros has had an almost predictable number of revivals.  The rhinos are currently stampeding through Cambridge courtesy of the American Repertory Theater’s revival, led by John Turturro and Paul Giamatti.  The play deals with people in a small French town who notice that residents are transforming into rhinos.  What does it mean?  Is it bad?  Is it even happening?  Do the beasts have one horn or two?  Are they Asian or African?  What color are they?  As the rhinos multiply, many neighbors willingly join them to conform.  Some do it out of pressure.  Some do it because it’s the path of least resistance.  Of course, the play was written in 1959 as a response to fascism.  Needless to say, it resonates today – and this particular edition highlights things such as doubting the press.  Giamatti pulls out all the stops in his transformation scene – which is accomplished by his skill as an actor and some audio enhancement.  Kristine Nielsen threatens to steal the show in her woefully brief moments onstage.  A very talented and sexy Alex Ross straddles the line – and then takes off his shirt, which brought to mind thoughts of him straddling something more immediate.  But ultimately it is Turturro who holds the whole show together with a touching, desperate, and insightful portrayal of a man alone against the world – with an undefined outcome.  The production, directed with aplomb by Diane Paulus, runs through September 27^th.  Get more info at AmericanRepertoryTheater.org.

Meanwhile in the MAGA-sphere, a curious-looking lad with a curious connection has been turning up in the news.  Michael Alfonso has the most manicured eyebrows this side of George Santos.  The fact that he’s 26 years old and married to a woman named Evita makes him even more curious.  His wife is the spawn of reality royalty Sean Duffy and Rachel Campos.  Evita Duffy?  Really?  Whose bright idea was that?  I’m guessing Rachel, who has roots in Mexico and Spain – a far cry from a Peronista background.  But maybe she liked the musical!  Anyway, Evita marries Alfonso and takes him for better or worse…eyebrows.  Trump called Alfonso a “MAGA Warrior” while endorsing him to take over Sean’s former Congressional seat in Wisconsin.  Alfonso won the primary.  When his youth and lack of experience were brought up as reasons he should run for a lower office, someone close to the campaign said, “Anything less than Congress is beneath Sean and Rachel’s paygrade.”  Which begs the question, what is Rachel’s paygrade?  I supported her three attempts to join The View, but that doesn’t really count as a job.  To help his chances, Evita is using the last name Duffy-Alfonso (mom is a Campos-Duffy).

“You read this and all I can think is,
‘Thanks, Mom, for nothing!’” 
– Gayle King weighs in on the statement from Hayden Panettiere’s
estranged mom following the actress’s death.  “It makes me so sad
of the opportunity that you have after your daughter’s death
that that’s what you choose to leave us with.”

The story of the week was Rosie O’Donnell’s return to hosting a talk show.  On the whole, people were happy to see her back on the scene.  It wasn’t an effortless fit – it’s late night, someone else’s slot, staff, guests, and format.  But she brought enough of her Rosie charm to make people nostalgic for the O’Donnell magic.  Her ratings were so high, she outperformed all of Jimmy Kimmel’s other summer guest hosts.  She even trounced Jimmy Fallon.  And I suspect she had more than a few viewers from DC!

Alas, nothing is without controversy.  There was one person less thrilled than The Donald.  Kathy Griffin started the week promoting the show: “So excited to watch my pal, the brilliant @rosie O’Donnell subbing in all week for the equally brilliant and all around great guy @jimmykimmellive…I’m going to watch every minute.  Go Rosie.”  But when it came to her YouTube show, Kathy was in victim mode.  “It’s embarrassing to say, but I have to tell you guys ‘cause we’re friends.  My feelings are really hurt that I was not invited to go on Rosie’s week of the Jimmy Kimmel show.”  Once Rosie got word of this, she responded via Instagram: “Kathy – shoulda called me honey – I didn’t choose the guests.”  Why do these people ask and answer personal questions in public?  If Kathy had a problem with her pal, why not just shoot her a text: “Rosie – good luck this week.  Rooting for you.  Wish I were there with you.”  And Rosie could have said, “Thanks, honey – I didn’t choose the guests.”  All kinda silly.

Jimmy Kimmel Live has something The Late Show with Stephen Colbert didn’t have – a network with balls.  ABC just filed a suit against the Federal Communications Commission over its plans to modify the network’s broadcast license.  Months ago, El Presidente called for a full revocation of ABC and NBC’s licenses (obviously CBS is in his back pocket).  ABC’s lawsuit asks the court to put a halt to the license renewal process and requests a temporary restraining order and a preliminary injunction.  ABC – the home of Jimmy Kimmel and The View.

Picture it: Los Angeles, last week.  An old lady’s rattan purse goes on the auction block.  Conservative estimates range from ten to fifteen thousand dollars, given its provenance.  After some heady bidding, it sells for $192K.  That purse was carried by Estelle Getty when she played Sophia Petrillo on The Golden Girls, making it the most expensive prop from the show that has ever been auctioned off.  The previous high earner was Betty White’s director’s chair, which went for $76K!

In a more current television venture, Dylan Walsh found himself in hot water.  As you know, he plays Shane’s dad on Heated Rivalry.  Like many actors, he supplements his income with Cameo messages.  Alas, one of those clips went public, and this is what he said: “Getting ready to go back up to Canada and shoot some more episodes…so, I think we’re doing 12 this time.”  No big deal, right?  Except HR creator, Jacob Tierney said he’d prefer to do only six episodes.  “I don’t need to do 10.  I would always rather tighten the belt than get loosey-goosey.  I would rather be like, ‘Let’s see how much story we can pack into these episodes.’”  Dylan’s Cameo account has been temporarily disabled with this note: “Stepping away because a video went viral that got me in trouble.”  Oops!

Our Ask Billy question required some enjoyable digging.  Randy in Texas said, “I’ve heard Rosie O’Donnell on a few podcasts say that she’s over Tom Cruise now that she’s seen some guy in Cats: The Jellicle Ball.  Who is he and can you run a photo?”

That would be the lovely and talented Sydney Harcourt, who played Rum Tum Tugger.  Rosie called him, “the sexiest human I’ve ever seen and so unbearably talented”.  For a lesbian, she sure knows her male beefcake because Harcourt is indeed quite a delectable specimen.  He not only enjoyed showing off his torso on stage, but in person as well.  He posted a photo of himself showing off his assets in a post called “Tugger’s Jellicle Afters @ The Eagle” and captioned it like this: “Tonight.  That’s where I’ll be celebrating closing.  Find me on the dance floor.  Wear a jock.”  If you missed it, I will be glad to share some sizzling snaps on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m giving something to tug your rummer about, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Before we wrap up, I want to take a moment to blow my own horn (which ain’t as easy as it used to be).  This week, we are celebrating 31 years of entertaining the gays, the gay curious, and anyone else with the good sense to check out BillyMasters.com – the site that ain’t going anywhere.  If you have a question for me, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I reveal I really am Lady Bunny (or, at the very least, her younger, thinner stand-in).  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

With The Crown & Anchor under the absentee management of Tristan Schukraft, one expected certain changes.  The first one I noticed is that the shows now have assigned seating.  General admission was never a problem, but what do I know?  Here’s something I know a lot about – drinking!  Gay people like drinking during drag shows (or, really, any shows).  It helps the audience, and it helps the performer.  But this year, there are suddenly no cocktail waiters at The Crown.  Why?  Who knows.  The biggest surprise of all – the hotel has no guests!  Yes, it’s completely empty.  Allegedly, the rooms are being renovated.  Seems to me that’s something best done off-season.

I doubt Tristan is too concerned about any of these things, because he’s got his hands full with a fiancé and other boyfriends (numbers vary from five to eight).  And they’re all getting ready to hit reality TV!  No, this isn’t some Sister Wives-type show.  They’ll be appearing on Below Deck to take a trip at sea (like that infamous three-hour tour).  The trailer to the episode shows it won’t all be smooth sailing, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

The Crown & Anchor has had a checkered time since being sold by the formidable duo of Rick Murray and Bill Dougal (Rick just sold Mussel Beach Gym in Provincetown as well).  Before Tristan bought it, the complex was briefly owned by Jonathan Hawkins, who is facing some legal issues.  According to court records provided to Billy Masters International, on July 15^th he was charged with numerous counts of possession and trafficking methamphetamine!  He was released from Barnstable District Court on bail of $150K (he only had to come up with $15K in cash).  His next court date is September 14^th.

By now, you’ve all heard about Perez Hilton’s “situation” and subsequent hospitalization, so no need for me to rehash that.  Sources states that he’s still in the hospital and requires surgery.  His mother has filed for temporary custody of his three children, and I’m told Perez has not fought this.  While various celebrated types have weighed in online about Hilton, I couldn’t help but notice a post by Jared Padalecki.  He initially wrote, “Hey @PerezHilton.  Just wanted to reach out and let you know that you’re in my thoughts…I hope you are trying as best as you can to be kind to yourself right now.  Please surround yourself with the love and support that all humans deserve.”  Shortly thereafter, he deleted the post due to pressure from some of his fans and wrote “I didn’t know.  It’s been brought to my attention.  I’m sorry.”   He then clarified things in a longer post: “To give more detail re: my post wishing someone well… I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA about his past.  I had heard of him.  Obviously, I had heard that he hadn’t exactly ‘been kind’ to me in the past.  So, my thought is always to give grace and forgiveness to those who may have tried to ‘harm’ you…. That having been said, I TRULY didn’t know ANYTHING about the extent to what he had done.  That’s my bad.”  So, let me get this straight – Jared would rather be known as clueless than compassionate?  And even after all that, does he NOT wish Perez well?

My dear colleague, the iconic Michael Musto was at the Joy Behar show.  I know I say this all the time, but people like Michael Musto are the reason there is a Billy Masters – so give him the credit (or the blame).  We had a lovely reunion – we haven’t seen each other since he was a guest on Billy Masters LIVE (he asked when I’m bringing it back, and I said, I’m thinking about it).  He didn’t stick around afterwards for the meet-and-greet because he had tickets to Puppetry of the Penis – it’s all about priorities.  Days later, he was back in NYC and wrote about going to Lidia Bastianich’s restaurant Becco on Restaurant Row.  In his post, he said, “I recently started on Zepbound because it’s the only legal way to abort the triplets it looks like I’m carrying.  But I’m on the lowest dose, so I can still enjoy a meal out now and again.”  Good for you, Mikey!

Meanwhile on Fire Island, Marilyn Maye was wowing the capacity crowd at the Ice Palace – yes, wrap your mind around that for half a second – Marilyn Maye/Fire Island/Ice Palace.  And throw in that she’s 98 and still touring!  Of course, Auntie Marilyn will be returning to Provincetown for her annual show at Town Hall on August 30^th.  This will mark her 16^th year playing Ptown – so needless to say, I’ll be there.  Marilyn may show no signs of stopping, but I wouldn’t take her for granted.  Grab your tickets now at PtownTownHall.com.

“This poor gay cruise ship just couldn’t find a home. 
It was like the Grindr version of The Odyssey.” 
– Bill Maher weighs in on the Atlantis Cruise which was
turned away from both Turkish and Egyptian ports.

Another week in Ptown, and the strangest encounter of the summer – perhaps of the year (so far, at least).  I was chatting with some people at the delightful ScottCakes, with the equally delightful proprietor, Scott himself.  As I enjoyed a mini ScottCake, Scott was telling some people about my column and other things I do.  That’s when one of them turned to me and said, “Are you Lady Bunny?”  I was never more simultaneously flattered and horrified – although, when you think about it, under her distinctive “look”, she really could be anybody!  Scott set them straight by saying, “He’s Billy Masters,” and happily the other person didn’t look blankly and ask, “Who?”  He was impressed, so I slept with him – ‘cause, you know, I’ll do anything for a fan, or a stranger…or for a ScottCake!

I was in town to see Joy Behar being interviewed by Judy Gold onstage at Town Hall, courtesy of producer Mark Cortale.  Judy did a fantastic job hosting the show, which also included a number of questions from the eager audience.  Fun Fact – in the summer of 2015, Joy was in Provincetown enjoying her retirement after the second time she was fired from The View.  She was looking around for a drag show to attend (which is really quite easy), when her cell phone rang.  It was the producer from The View, asking if she would be interested in returning to host the show on Fridays.  She said, “I’ll think about it – I have to go see Varla Jean Merman.”  The rest, as they say, is history.  Speaking of history, around 30 years ago when I was doing stand-up on a more regular basis, I opened for Joy Behar at Catch a Rising Star in Cambridge.  After the Ptown show, I showed Joy a photo of us from that time.  “My God, I’m so young!” she said.  “What about me?” I asked.  “Please, you look exactly the same.”  While I disagree, I’ll post photos of before and after on BillyMasters.com and you can decide for yourself.

Our Ask Billy question had me quite confused.  Karl in NYC wrote, “Did you hear the news about Angelina Jolie’s brother coming out?  I thought he’s been out for years.”

He was certainly out when I met him over two decades ago.  I remember it like it was yesterday – which is when this headline came out: “James Haven, Brother to Angelina Jolie, Comes Out As Gay”.  Here was the biggest surprise – in 2025, he married a woman.  And yet, there’s more.  Apparently he was married to Romi Imbelli after she appeared on The Real L-Word (for the record, she always presented as bi).  Their marriage lasted 25 days and was annulled – probably by mutual agreement.  They clearly stayed close because Haven made his proclamation on Imbelli’s Substack.  “I’m gay,” to which Romi exclaimed, “As gay as can be.”  Boy, she said a mouthful!  It’s all rather curious to moi, who recalls meeting Haven at the Oscars in 2000.  As you’ll recall, that was the year Angelina was photographed kissing him on the lips.  I believe I met them after the awards, at the Vanity Fair party.  Haven introduced himself as Jamie, and introduced his sister as Angie.  After a few drinks, they canoodled.  I canoodled.  I’m not exactly sure who I canoodled with, but the photos will surely turn up on BillyMasters.com.

When I may have canoodled with both Jamie and Angie, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  It’s all kind of hazy, but I believe I awoke the next day with an unexplained Band-Aid in a somewhat private area.  Shortly thereafter, Angelina started wearing that vial around her neck.  You don’t think….  Nah, it couldn’t be.  For more unexplained phenomena, check out BillyMasters.com – the site that always gets to the bottom of things.  Should you have a question I am equipped to answer, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Angie and Jamie star in a remake of Flowers in the Attic.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Next year, The View is turning 30 – and I know this because I moved into my sumptuous Beverly Hills adjacent abode on the day it first aired.  Executive producer Brian Teta has said that he’d like to incorporate every former View host into the season-long celebration.  While I suspect Jenny McCarthy will be the hardest one to cajole (to say nothing of Meghan McCain), many people wondered whether Rosie O’Donnell would be game.  I can put your mind at ease and report that she has no hesitation about returning to the show.  “I will go on the 30^th anniversary,” Rosie said on The Tangled podcast, “in whatever way they want me.”   This led to comedian and former co-host Michelle Collins posting a video from Milan, Italy.  “I just heard that Rosie O’Donnell…said that she heard all the co-hosts from The View were being asked back for the 30^th season.  Now, that was news to me.  Maybe ‘cause I’m travelling so much my invite somehow got lost.”  This led to some damage control from Teta, who made a statement: “We love seeing all the excitement about The View’s 30^th, lots of plans are in the works, but no invites have gone out.”

Rosie also told Tangled that she would like to revive her daily talk show.  She even has a vision of what it would be.  “It would look a lot like my old show, to tell you the truth.  I think America wants nostalgia.  I think what they don’t want is celebrity culture.  I think celebrity culture is dead in America…I’d like to do mostly human-interest stories, tell good news, have fun and games with people like we used to, get to have Broadway on – and if a celebrity wants to come on and chat, that’s fantastic.  But it wouldn’t be because they had a movie to promote.”  Until then, Rosie guest hosts Jimmy Kimmel Live! the week of August 17^th.

Whoopi Goldberg got tongues wagging about her View salary – but I think everyone misunderstood.  When she was a guest on Baby, This Is Keke Palmer, they were talking about what she loves about doing the show.  Whoopi answered quite simply, “The check.  I love the check.”  When Keke said, “I can only imagine what that check is,” Goldberg shut her down – “No, no, you can’t.  Trust me, you can’t.  You would be shocked.”  Palmer kept going on like it was a HUGE check, and said she’d love to fill in.  Whoopi tried to clear it up by saying, “But as soon as they showed you that check, you’d be like, ‘What the…!?’”  Goldberg has always said that what she likes is that she gets a STEADY check.  But, trust me, it’s not huge…and Whoopi and I both know huge!

By the by, Keke will soon have another check coming in.  In 2027, she’ll be hosting The Voice.  Oh, don’t get excited – Carson Daly is not going anywhere.  Keke is hosting the season called The Voice: Celebrity – where “celebrities” compete.  Something tells me NBC is using the term “celebrity” like ABC uses “stars” in that dancing show.  Carson will continue being a producer for the “Celebrity” season, and plans to return in subsequent years.

Bowen Yang received critical acclaim when he played the iceberg from Titanic on Saturday Night Live.  Was he grooming kids to become icebergs?  I’m starting to think perhaps some princess read to him as a kid, because he’s the latest celebrity to take on the leading role of Oh, Mary!  Yes, Yang will make his Broadway debut as Mary Todd Lincoln starting on September 15^th.  The production also released a rather funny video of Bowen finding his inner Mary Todd, which you can see on BillyMasters.com.

Someone who was most certainly groomed as a child is my dear friend, Thirsty Burlington – not to be confused with Burlington Coat Factory.  The beloved drag queen (not a person of the trans persuasion) has been sidelined these past few years by illness.  But for one night, she will return to the stage of the RedRoom in lovely Provincetown.  The show is billed as Thirsty and Friends – and her friends will be Varla Jean Merman, Tammie Brown, Dina Martina and Nina West.  Frankly, we should all have such a glittering array of friends.  It’s a fundraiser for Thirsty’s medical expenses, and I can’t think of a better way to spend the evening of August 22^nd.  Grab your tickets at RedRoom.club.

Cheyenne Jackson recently appeared in Provincetown, and a video from his show melted even my heart of stone (if indeed stones can be melted).  Cheyenne was joined on stage by his son Ethan for an a capella version of Michael Jackson’s “I’ll Be There”.  I defy you not to melt when you see the video on his social media or our website.

And now, a story I missed due to my European travels.  Way back on June 13^th, Barry Manilow was playing the M&S Bank Arena in Liverpool.  He was singing and playing behind the baby grand, when all of a sudden a guy jumped up on the stage brandishing…a piece of paper and a Sharpie!  He managed to get next to Barry and put the paper and pen down on the piano as security tackled him.  Without missing a beat, Barry signed the paper and waved it singing, “And this one’s for you,” which worked out well since that’s the song he happened to be singing!  The guy retrieved it and was tossed back into the crowd.  “Be nice to him,” said Manilow, “he’s a fan,” which earned him an immediate standing ovation.  Needless to say, the clip will show up on BillyMasters.com.

“He said he’d think about it.” 
– Gus Kenworthy shares what beau Andrew Rigby said when
he proposed.  Of course, he eventually said yes.  The couple now sports
matching Cartier rings – Andrew’s is platinum, while Gus finally took the gold.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not going to write about it.  No siree.  The texts came in while the drama was unfolding.  “Isn’t it heartbreaking?” said one text.  “Is it?  Is it really?”  My heartbreak is reserved for precious few situations.  But I did have one question – how many are in “a flurry”?  I assume it’s more than “a few”, but probably less than “a gaggle”.  If it were crows, it would be “a murder” – but that’s just a bit too on the nose.  I will make one observation – if you are going to emulate a celebrity, shoot higher than Demi Lovato!

There’s a story circulating in Boston that has given me a red rump – which has been seen by quite a few in various international cities.  It’s regarding Drag Queen Story Time with Ms. Patty – which took place at the South Boston branch of the Boston Public Library.  One person on social media who shall remain nameless posted the story and quipped, “Being trans is a mental illness.”  Sigh – where to begin.  First, I don’t know Ms. Patty, but I wouldn’t assume she’s trans.  She could simply be a drag queen – neither of which I’d identify as a mental illness.  One person responded to this post, “This is about grooming kids.”  Same question I asked in the previous story – “Is it?”  Was Mrs. Doubtfire grooming anyone?  “Grooming kids”?  To become what?  Drag queens?  In Boston we had Boomtown hosted by cowboy Rex Trailer.  Was that grooming kids?  To become cowboys?  Please tell me what Captain Kangaroo was grooming kids to become (other than bunkmates with Mr. Green Jeans).  Is a woman dressing as a princess and reading to kids grooming them to become…royalty?  Maybe this is what happened to poor, misunderstood Meghan Markle.  Maybe one too many princesses read to her as a child!

I came across a clever and unique question in our Ask Billy mail sack.  Paul from Chicago asks, “Is it true that Donna Mills is on OnlyFans?  Is she going to pose nude or is it just a stunt?”

No stunt – it’s all true.  The 85-year-old Mills made the announcement herself: “I’m excited to join OnlyFans because it offers the opportunity for a more personal and direct connection.  It’s simply another platform to spend quality time with the people who’ve supported me throughout my career while staying true to who I am.”  But the question everyone (including Paul) is asking – will she show all?  “Who knows?  My first answer would be, oh, no, I won’t do that.  But then my second answer is, I don’t know.  I don’t want to do anything that’s salacious, you know what I mean?  That isn’t my personality.  That isn’t what I feel good doing.  But if it’s cute and sexy…we’ll see.”  She added that she wants to make her fans happy.  “They have to let me know.  Then I’ll have to make a decision whether I wanna do that or not, but I don’t want to give them that if that’s not what they really want.”

When an 85-year-old is pondering how far she’d go for her fans, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  No such question with moi – I’ve been known to bend over backwards (or forwards) for my fans.  Sometimes individually.  Sometimes collectively.  After all, it is National Anal Month (whatever you do, don’t tell Donna).  For more such salacious stuff, check out BillyMasters.com – the site that always goes the extra inch…or six.  You can always reach out and touch me – electronically (for those of you out of reach).  Just send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Jonathan Bailey stars in Sunday in the Park with Boy George!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Boy George made headlines last week when he withdrew from the West End production of Jesus Christ Superstar.  He was supposed to appear as King Herod from August 2^nd through the 15^th as part of an alternating cast.  His departure was related to his latest song, called “We Will Dance Again”, about the Hamas attacks on Israel in which he refers to pro-Palestine supporters as “sheep”.  Of course, the timing couldn’t be worse – for him to play the man who condemned Christ to death was a bit too art-imitating-life-imitating-the-Bible!  But some insiders from rehearsals for the show claim he withdrew because producers questioned if he could get through the show.  Of course, Boy has other theatre credits, including playing Harold Zidler in the Broadway production of Moulin Rouge!  The Musical earlier this spring.  Even that has come into question via a post from Patrick Clanton, a member of that show’s ensemble (and an occasional Zidler himself): “Y’know, I used to defend his performance in our show, but fuck it.  He was a terrible performer and I was embarrassed to be in the show with him.  Boy, Bye!”

Not a good week for UK theatre.  Ariana Grande has suddenly dropped out of her planned reunion with Jonathan Bailey in next summer’s West End revival of Sunday in the Park with George.  According to her reps, “Ariana will be taking a step back from visibility after she completes the Eternal Sunshine Tour.  She looks forward to finishing the tour and ending it on a high note, both healthily and happily, and then taking a much-deserved break from public-facing work and appearances, which has led to endless, ongoing public scrutiny.”  It won’t be much of a break.  She stars in Focker-in-Law, which opens the day before Thanksgiving and will undoubtedly require weeks of “public-facing appearances” leading up to its release.  No rest for the wicked, I guess.

Since I took a week off from Provincetown, I missed running into my old WeHo neighbor, Jonathan Bennett.  And what did he do in Ptown?  Went to see Jamie Morris’ hysterical Golden Mean Girls, naturally!  I’m told he really enjoyed the show and was laughing heartily.  Afterwards, he stopped to take photos with the cast, saying that he’s seen lots of Mean Girl parodies, but nothing as clever and unique.  I can attest to that!  Catch it at the Post Office Café and Cabaret (PostOfficeCafe.net).  Of course, a photo of him and the cast can be seen on BillyMasters.com.

In recent years, there have been rumors about Jared Leto.  Like Kevin Spacey before him, Leto has been accused of sexual misconduct.  Also like Kevin Spacey before him, he’s been the target of a British expose.  According to the BBC’s Jared Leto: Hollywood’s Dark Secret, he has a pattern of approaching underage girls and having them sign NDAs before some questionable behavior – although most of the allegations are decades old.  Leto responded, saying, “I have never sexually assaulted anyone in my entire life.  These claims are absolutely and categorically false.”  I hasten to add that there is no evidence of him approaching any guys, who would surely be more “receptive” – or perhaps I’m just projecting.  If he weren’t so hot, he’d surely never appear in this column.

I have endless respect for Sister Roma, the famed San Francisco drag artiste and activist.  And she’s been a big supporter of the San Francisco Giants Pride events.  At this year’s Pride Night, three of the players defaced their Pride caps with Biblical verses.  Roma wasn’t having it.  “I am so disappointed that anti-LGBTQ sentiments and homophobia have been revealed, right here in San Francisco, of all place.  Our community has always considered this place home and served as a beacon to queer and trans people around the world.  The refusal to acknowledge and support Pride sent a very strong message.  These players wanted the community to know they do not support them, they do not respect them, and they are not welcome on the very night that was designed to celebrate them.”  But here was the part that got me: “The Giants organization has refused to address this further and suggests that fans ‘move on’.  Well, that doesn’t fly in San Francisco.  This lack of accountability and support cuts deep with the LGBTQ Giants fans and our community at large.  Unfortunately many fans will indeed move on – away from supporting the team they love – but I don’t think this will go away any time soon.  Until the Giants come out with a strong message in support of the LGBTQ community, I don’t think they will be welcome at Pride.”

“Maybe being publicly mocked and criticized
by this administration is actually like the
greatest compliment of all because it puts me
in the company of some of like the most brilliant,
empathetic people in our world today!” 
– Dylan Mulvaney.  At the White House Correspondents’ Dinner,
El Presidente said of Kaitlan Collins, “I thought Kaitlan had really
made it big with a major new sponsorship.  But then I informed her
that it wasn’t her on the Bud Light can, it was Dylan Mulvaney.”

This column fills in a niche for many people – a niche rarely filled by other journalists.  For instance, did you know that August is National Anal Month?  You’re not going to get that from TMZ – although I suspect my pal Harvey Levin gets it regularly!  Certainly Falcon Studios knows all about anal.  The venerable gay porn studio has started a publishing house.  FalconINK plans to publish male-male erotic fiction with a twist – their target audience is women!  They are capitalizing on the success of the Heated Rivalry franchise, which began life as a series of books written by Rachel Reid.  “For the first time, we’re also creating content for one of the largest audiences in the M/M romance space: women.  No company is better positioned to tell accessible romantic and erotic stories than the one that has been doing it so successfully since 1971,” said CEO Tim Valenti.  I dunno if their thrust has always been “romantic and erotic stories” – although surely nothing says romance like the smell of a bustling urinal!

Congrats to Sam Smith on his engagement to Christian Cowan.  The couple has been dating since 2022.  Cowan is also a Brit, has his own fashion label, and has worked with numerous celebrities over the years.  No word on when the nuptials will take place, or if Cowan will design the trousseau.

As we went to press came word that WNBA star Brittney Griner and her wife Cherelle have filed for divorce.  Correction – Griner filed for divorce.  While I don’t normally take sides when it comes to situations I know nothing about, I would like to point out that Cherelle fought to get Griner released from a Russian prison for over 9 months.  You’d certainly think that would earn her a bit of grace.  Brittney is also requesting sole custody of their son.

There’s one romantic rumor we can quash.  Pedro Pascal is not dating OnlyFans model, Christian Hogue.  The two were spotted in the company of others on a yacht in Spain.  Lesser scribes took this as a sign of romance – or at the very least one of those “transactional relationships” that are so popular with the rich and famous.  Hogue commented on these rumors.  “I really don’t need to explain myself here but I am going to.  Many of you are spinning this into something it’s not and it’s just sad.  I am not gay nor am I for hire.  I have been welcomed to this boat as a friend for many years.  So it’s a damn shame to see how quickly everyone jumps to this conclusion when it couldn’t be farther from the truth.”  So there!

Many of you have been writing in asking why I haven’t reported about Andy Cohen’s latest paramour.  Really, what is there to say that Andy hasn’t told us?  He met Kevin Sobieski last year at a July 4^th party in the Hamptons.  I wouldn’t say it started with a bang, but I’m sure more than a few bangs have happened since Cohen slipped into Sobieski’s DMs (which is not necessarily a euphemism for the self-proclaimed top).  Andy later gushed, “This man is kind and strong and smart, and he’s an adult, and he loves my children, and they love him.  And I love him.  We have been so slow and deliberate and methodical about getting to know each other, and introducing him to the kids and just entering him into the equation of my family so slowly.  And I have to say, it has been so easy.”  A good top always knows when to take it slow and easy.

Then there’s Kathy Griffin, who is getting over a whirlwind Hawaiian romance.  No, he’s not the hot 22-year-old blond New Yorker – that was just a prank with a friend’s son who was doing security for her.  But around the same time, Kathy had an online relationship with Joe, who is 55 years old (and, admittedly, the oldest man she has ever dated…or kissed).  This Joe is the cousin of one of her male friends and they clicked – until they didn’t.  It fell apart on a long weekend in Hawaii when, after having what Griffin considered great sex, he said, “Maybe you don’t float my boat” – talk about a buzzkill!  You can hear Kathy tell the whole story on her YouTube show (we’ll link to it).

Remember when I married gay porn legend Kurt Young?  That was at an event titled the largest symbolic same-sex wedding ceremony.  Cynthia Nixon will be officiating something being billed as The World’s Largest All-Girl Wedding and Renewal Ceremony.  It will take place on February 21^st, 2027 – look, lesbians need time to plan!  It’s all part of Winter Pride St. Pete at an event being called Bride Pride.  Catchy.

We have time for a very brief Ask Billy question.  Hal in Baltimore asked, “Tom Daley has a line of clothing?”

He does indeed.  It’s actually a collaboration with queer designer Patrick Church.  The line features lots of skimpy wear, which Daley models (barely) to the delight of readers…and hopefully buyers.  You can check out his wares on PatrickChurchArtist.com.  Since a picture is worth a thousand words, you’ll get more than a few thou when you check out the photos on BillyMasters.com.

When love is in the air, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  I knew I smelled something – who knew love smells exactly like low tide in Ptown!  Since we ran awfully long this week (that’s what he said), let me slowly squeeze in a snug plug for BillyMasters.com – the site that is always a perfect fit.  Have no fear – I always have room for your questions.  Send them along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before someone takes J. Edgar’s photo out of the Smithsonian!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Broadway is known for its revolving door when it comes to casting.  The Rocky Horror Show already lost Juliette Lewis, who was replaced by Sherie Rene Scott.  Michaela Jae Rodriguez departed the role of Columbia, which is now being played by RuPaul’s Drag Race alum, Valentina.  The hunky Andrew Durand is leaving the role of Brad in the capable hands of “Glee” alum Kevin McHale (who has turned into quite a little hunk himself).  When Stephanie Hsu leaves the role of Janet, she will be succeeded by Lorna Courtney.  And then there’s Luke Evans.  He’s scheduled to stay through the summer.  And then what?  It’s just been announced that he will be replaced by Scissor Sisters front man Jake Shears.  He’ll join the show on September 11^th – an ominous date, to be sure.

Speculation is brewing over who will headline the upcoming national tour of Oh, Mary!  I can tell you that Alaska Thunderfuck will kick off the tour and stay with it until January 17^th (Saint Paul – oh, the humanity).  Alaska will be joined by Tony winner J. Harrison Ghee as Honest Abe.  But, here’s the juicy part – after Alaska leaves the tour, Harrison will take over the leading role!  But, shhh, an official announcement hasn’t been made yet.

When it comes to men in dresses, J. Edgar Hoover holds a special place in history.  So it’s no surprise that a new musical about the FBI director is wowing audiences in London.  One critic describes the show thusly: “If Mel Brooks and Harvey Fierstein collaborated on an old-fashioned musical comedy about one of the most controversial figures in 20th century American history, I imagine this would be the result.”  Well, doesn’t that make you wanna run out and buy a ticket?  Alas, unless you’re already in London, you might be too late.  Here Comes J. Edgar! is slated to run until August 4^th at the King’s Head Theatre.  And in the leading role is our very own Bryan Batt – and we hear he’s amazing.  There is talk of the production transferring – perhaps to someplace in NYC.  Stay tuned.