“Sean Penn couldn’t be here this evening or didn’t want to. 
So I’ll be accepting the award on his behalf.” 
– Kieran Culkin accepts Penn’s Best Supporting Actor Oscar.  Look, he was
married to Madonna and Robin Wright Penn – hasn’t he suffered enough?

These Oscars will go down as The Night They Drove Old Timmy Down.  Although, to be fair, voting was done long before the Chalamet scandal broke.  But, still, it brought a smile to my otherwise bored face.  As to the awards themselves, when you don’t care about the movies nominated, they kinda meander on by.

That said, I do have a few observations.  While I was sad that A Friend of Dorothy lost for Best Live Action Short Film, I was heartened when a hot guy who tied went up to accept the award.  Then he mentioned a girlfriend.  He had me, then he lost me.  Those KPop girls ripped off Charlie’s Angels.  Along those lines, I think Demi was molting.  I think we can all agree – Anna Wintour is not a laugh riot.  I question the wisdom of using precious satellite time to make a Basil Rathbone joke.  Speaking of dead people, a few notables were missing from the In Memoriam.  Sure, James Van Der Beek, Eric Dane and Malcolm-Jamal Warner are mostly known for television, but they also made films.  So did Olivia Hussey and Alain Delon.  They went on and on about Claudia Cardinale (who I adored), but what about Brigitte Bardot?  Aside from that, I thought it was handled well.  And I had a brilliant idea – perhaps Barbra’s next film could be a biopic about Sylvia Miles (look it up). 

Speaking of Barbra, it has just been announced that she will receive an Honorary Palme d’Or from the Cannes Film Festival.  She’s gonna need another shelf for all these “honorary” awards.

The Golden Globes didn’t let a little thing like the Academy Awards steal their thunder.  It’s been announced that Nikki Glaser will return next year to host her third Golden Globes.  The funny lady said, “I’m thrilled to host the Golden Globes for a third time, not only because it’s the greatest gig I’ve ever had, but because my sister has three kids and now we will be equal in the eyes of my parents and the Lord.”  In terms of hosting the Globes, Nikki is only bettered by Ricky Gervais (five times) and the dynamic duo of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (four times).