“Congressman, I will let you describe why
you went into Tim Cain’s ass today.” 
– Politico Donna Brazile to Rep. Dan Crenshaw on Real Time. 
Crenshaw took offense to the “phrasing” and quipped,
“He’s the last ass I would go into.”

Where was I?  Ah, yes – my quickie trip to the Left Coast (as a friend used to say).  I was back in my sumptuous Beverly Hills adjacent abode for the wedding of gay porn legend Kurt Young to former West Hollywood mayor John Duran.  I’m sure my faithful fans are probably thinking “Didn’t you marry Kurt Young back in 2004?”  Yes, but it’s a long and complicated story, not unlike the film Chinatown.  The three of us discussed that wedding on Billy Masters LIVE, which you can see on our website.  It really boils down to two things – Kurt would do anything for a gift bag, and I’d do anything for cake!  Kurt and John’s reception took place at The Chapel, part of The Abbey (which is where our marriage took place – Kurt quipped, “All of my weddings take place here!”).  My companion for the event was bon vivant Bruce Vilanch, proving forevermore that we are not, in fact, the same person.  It was a lovely day, and I was honored that John and Kurt included me!

During the wedding, Bruce shared two stories with me, but prefaced them by saying, “You can’t report this”.  So I didn’t – and two days later, they were all over the news.  Scooped again!!  The first is that Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy and Sarah Jessica Parker have signed a deal for Hocus Pocus 3.  And, unlike the last film which went direct to Disney+, this one is planning to have a theatrical release – likely coming out around Halloween 2027.

The other story Bruce shared was that Celebrity Autobiography is opening on Broadway on May 18^th.  Like the previous incarnations, it will feature a revolving cast of luminaries – including such stalwarts as Sherri Shepherd, Kathy Griffin, Mario Cantone, Jackie Hoffman, Andrea Martin, and Vilanch himself.  I hear the producers are trying to convince the Divine Miss M to participate – perhaps as soon as opening night.  Stay tuned.

While out west, I also got to see another friend perform – Susanna Hoffs.  The once-and-forever Bangle did an intimate concert at Largo at the Coronet Theatre and was in fantastic form – with onstage assistance by Fred Armisen.  Hoffs debuted some new material which she is working on and revealed she is doing her own take on The Beatles’ Help album.  She is also working on either a musical version of her novel, This Bird Has Flown.  And, in answering my direct question, she does plan to make public some of her unreleased recordings, including her entire 1994 album for Columbia.  Busy, busy.