“I am not an incredibly prejudiced person but, when it
comes to heterosexual men, I don’t get them. 
They’re a bunch of assholes.  There are so few
heterosexual men that I know that I look up to.”
– Harvey Fierstein on the subject of straight men.  I guess it’s about
perspective.  I’ve not looked up to many, but I’ve certainly looked
down on a few – and I found them quite adept at the job at hand.

If there’s one thing I am loath to do, it’s promote someone else’s column.  But when the someone else is Dame Joan Collins – well, reason goes out the window.  She’s not the competition, she’s a legend.  Her column appears in The Spectator in London.  Here’s a sample of her scribbling: “Several news outlets are reporting the surge in the dangerous crossings of immigrants coming to our shores, and the cost of giving them succour.”  Let me pause here to try and eradicate the image of Collins giving succour to an eager line of anyone.  “But I’m seeing an invasion of a different sort – the proliferation of rental bikes and powered scooters that litter our pavements.  I’ve recently been almost run over twice by ‘Lime bikes’.  I’ve also tripped over a bunch of discarded cycles on the streets of Belgravia.”  For the love of God – keep the Lime bikes (and scooters) away from Dame Joan!  We can’t have her mowed down in her prime.  We’re thisclose away from her centennial, and I refuse to cancel those festivities due to a broken hip.  Admittedly, the three wigs she wears simultaneously should cushion the fall and avoid a concussion.  In fact, they could act as a helmet should she wish to ride one of the aforementioned scooters.  God save the Queen!

You may recall Mario Paglino and Gianni Grossi as Barbie doll designers who made some unofficial Madonna dolls that were presented to her on The Graham Norton Show (she was less than gracious).  Alas, the duo was killed in an auto accident in Italy – where car fatalities are an art form.  The incident took place between Piedmont and Lombardy, when someone driving the wrong way struck them head-on.  Mattel issued a statement mourning their loss (they operated under the name Magia2000) and put a spotlight on their artistry and philanthropy.  “Their generosity was boundless, creating countless dolls to be auctioned to benefit charities close to fellow collectors’ hearts.  Barbie is better because they loved the brand, and our beloved collector community is richer for having known them and shared in their passion.  Barbie honors their memory with deep gratitude”.