“I can definitely say that when we were shooting
Lois & Clark, there was no Jesus…He’s very with the
cross now.  But he was, like, drunk and sleeping with a lot of
beautiful women and, you know, having a good time as the
star of a TV show.  There was no conservatism in him –
at least not that was displayed to me.”
– Teri Hatcher on Dean Cain joining ICE.  She adds, “I’m not sitting here
saying he’s a bad guy, but, yes, he is doing things that I think are bad.”

Could somebody please put Liza Minnelli under house arrest?  Where are those Luft kids when you need ‘em?  Where’s Lorna?  Where’s Joey?  Don’t get me wrong – I love Liza as much as any gay man (of a certain age).  But there comes a time when you’ve got to make the hard choices.  The last few years, she’s shown up about as often as Halley’s Comet, but these do nothing but tarnish a once-glorious career.  Let’s forget about the Oscars.  Do you remember when she was honored on RuPaul’s Drag Race?  They wheeled out a gigantic easy chair with Liza kinda slumped in it – ringing those bells.  She’s a little bit of a thing – she looks like Edith Ann Minnelli!  Perhaps because she doesn’t have the musculature to sit up, she just slouched lower and lower into the chair.  At one point, her legs were higher than her head, and I thought she was going to slide onto the floor.  Liza Down!

I say all of this as a preamble to last week’s Dancers Against Cancer Gala of Stars here in Beverly Hills.  We all agree that Liza is the hoofer with a heart of gold.  So, naturally, they called upon her to present the Icon Award to Janet Jackson – because when I think of Janet, I obviously think of Liza.  A bunch of dancers were onstage doing Fosse-esque choreography.  Suddenly, two of them spin around this giant thing – that turns out to be…you guessed it, a giant easy chair!  And there she is – Liza Minnelli (more or less).  And all of the people around her are dancing, and she kinda did some “jazz hands”.  Then she made sort of a speech – except I’m not entirely sure she knew where she was or who she was honoring.  But she sure looked happy to be there and people were cheering.  And all I was thinking is, “How are they getting this chair home?  Does Michael Feinstein back up a truck and a couple of Teamsters drag the chair onto the back – with Liza still in it?”  God knows, I truly believe that Liza has earned the right to do whatever she wants.  And you can watch her “honoring” Janet Jackson on BillyMasters.com.