“Pete Buttigieg is leading the 2028 race.  Tops Newsom in new poll.”
–  A recent headline says it all.  I bet this is news to the Governor – to say nothing of Mayor Pete!

Over the last few months, I have really tried to live in gratitude – to be grateful for everything that comes my way.  I’m sure most of my readers feel likewise.  After all, there are children in Bangladesh who don’t get to read BillyMasters.com – even with Google Translate!  We’re particularly grateful not to be the artist formerly known as Prince Andrew.  I must confess, I came late to the Andrew Mountbatten Windsor party, but I’m totally caught up now and have eagerly digested every twist and turn of this drama – even though I don’t really care about him.  I was taken aback when I heard numerous journalists blame this entire contretemps on…Koo Stark!  Do you remember Koo?  She was an “actress” of dubious distinction, who sued (and won) an apology (and cash) from publications who referred to her as a “porn star”.  No such mistake will be made in this column – my standard for “star” is quite high.  Randy Andy (as he was known back in the day) was in love with Koo as much as his brother was in love with Camilla.  Neither son got to marry the love of their life – and we all know how that turned out!

The other surprising part of this drama is the loads of rubbish being heaped upon poor Fergie – who I once partied with in Houston back when she was still a Duchess (but prior to Toe-Gate).  A biographer seems to believe that the biggest problem is that Fergie always lives beyond her means and hasn’t got a job – like you’re gonna see Fergie working the Clinique counter at Harrods, or pumping gas at the local Tesco!  An example of her extravagance is the tale of Eugenie’s birthday party.  Apparently it had a Disney theme and Eugenie went as Snow White and actually hired seven actual dwarfs to play…well, the seven dwarfs.  Look, what do you expect her parents to do?  Have a bouncy castle delivered to Windsor Castle??  Sure, Eugenie was 25…but still!  As part of the deal Andrew brokered with King Charles, Beatrice and Eugenie will remain princesses.  And, at least for now, Andrew remains ninth in line to the throne.  One bad outbreak of bubonic plague and he could be sitting pretty.