Collins is Wallis
With the Super Bowl around the corner, we’re looking forward to some of the ads that will run. Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan revisit the infamous deli from When Harry Met Sally for Hellmann’s. Not being a mayo aficionado, I didn’t get too excited about that. Still, there is magic seeing Crystal sitting across from a virtually unrecognizable Ryan. Speaking of unrecognizable, the aforementioned Cher hawks Uber Eats straddling a cannon. She gets ahold of a time machine and tries to go back to the ‘80s – the 1680s. Eh, at least it’s a year she remembers! When villagers remark, “She’s both young and old at the same time,” you realize she’s in on the joke. When they call her a witch, she corrects them. “I’m an icon.”
Speaking of icons, we come to my favorite story of the week. Have you heard about Joan Collins’ latest comeback? Talk about going back in time. The 91-year-old legend has signed on to make a big-screen biopic about Wallis Simpson! The Bitter End recounts Mrs. Simpson’s years after the death of the Duke. What nobody seems to know is that Collins manifested this project 40 years ago. Back in the October 1, 1985 issue of Life magazine (remember Life?), Collins was featured in a pictorial as famous women in history. Queen Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great, Cleopatra, Marilyn Monroe, Eve (as in Adam and…) and even the Duchess of Windsor. She also dressed as Josephine Baker – which is problematic for other reasons. She’ll once again don Wallis drag. “It’s a very good script, and it’s a great part for me. I’ve always been fascinated by Wallis, because I think she was unfairly treated,” says Collins. Simpson was previously portrayed on screen by Faye Dunaway in The Woman I Love, Joely Richardson in Wallis & Edward, Eve Best in The King’s Speech and Lia Williams in The Crown.
Pee-wee Herman (aka Paul Reubens) basically took over the airwaves in the ‘80s. The ‘90s were mostly mired in a sticky sort of scandal. Reubens successfully revived the character in Pee-wee’s Big Holiday in 2016. Two years after his death, a documentary has debuted at the Sundance Film Festival. Pee-wee as Himself was not only well received, but managed to make news. At long last, Reubens came out as gay – in his own words. “I was out of the closet, and then, I went back in the closet. I wasn’t pursuing the Paul Reubens career; I was pursuing the Pee-wee Herman career”. He also says, “I was secretive about my sexuality even to my friends [out of] self-hatred or self-preservation. I was conflicted about sexuality. But fame was way more complicated.” Sounds like a great doc.
Every once in a while, people ask me about that film version of Sondheim’s Merrily We Roll Along. It’s being directed by Richard Linklater, and he’s got a long-term plan. Given that the musical takes place over 20 years (in reverse chronological order), he wants to film it over a similar time period – except being shot in chronological order (similar to how he shot Boyhood over 12 years). Linklater started shooting in 2019 with Ben Platt, Beanie Feldstein, and Blake Jenner. However, shortly after filming the rooftop “Our Time” sequence, Jenner left the project. He was replaced by Paul Mescal. Problem is – all three actors are already significantly older than their characters were. And, here’s another rub – who in God’s name is going to care about any of these people in 20 years? I barely care about them now! And, at least in terms of Beanie and Ben – haven’t we all suffered enough?
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