“I love playing gay.  I’ll play gay.  I’ll play straight. 
I’ll do anything.  I am very versatile.”
– Luke Macfarlane toots his own horn.  Now, that’s something I’d pay to see!

Picture it – Boston, 1995.  A young man, who looked significantly younger than his chronological age, got a call from his best friend on a hot August afternoon.  The friend worked for a gay newspaper in San Francisco, and they were in desperate need of a gossip column.  I don’t remember all of the details – it was something about someone being fired, embezzling checks, a 5PM deadline, and blowing a job at the printer.  That young-ish man was me.  The SF paper is now defunct.  The friend is retired in Las Vegas and working as one of the more successful Siegfried impersonators (on arthritic days, he plays Roy).  Against all odds, that column is still here – 30 years later.  The moral of this story is, damn, I look good for my age! Oh, yeah, and I’ve spent these three decades entertaining the masses.  Week in, week out.  52 weeks a year.  For 30 years.  That’s…well, it’s a shitload of columns!  Now, when I go to the printer – well, the blowjob is on the other foot.

When I started out in 1995, the Menendez boys were already young adults and the murder of their parents was 6 years earlier.  Some stories keep on giving.  Last week, the brothers got their very first parole hearings – and were both denied.  They can try again in three years (unless Gavin Newsom grants them clemency – which is probably something El Presidente would do if he were in Newsom’s rather large shoes).  While the murder of their parents is a big part of why they’re still in jail (the risk assessment listed them as “moderate”), the main sticking point during the parole hearing was around a cell phone!  Lyle was asked why he was in possession of an illegal cell phone in prison.  Lyle said he used the phone to stay in touch with relatives.  It was then pointed out that he already had access to a tablet for that purpose.  Which begs the question – prisoners can have tablets?