“I don’t know what the fuck you’re saying, hun. 
Please remember where you are, OK. 
‘Cause if you’re trying to shade me, bitch,
I’m gonna come for you.  I’m from Brooklyn,
and if I want to fuckin’ talk, I will do a tap dance
if I fuckin’ want.  Sorry.  That, of course,
is not part of my people skills.” 
–Cyndi Lauper shuts down a heckler at the opening night of her
Las Vegas residency at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace.

The White House Correspondents Association dinner is always a great weekend for gays in DC to hook up with a politician or a political aide (or, in the worst possible case, a gay journalist).  Last weekend, the Capitol was buzzing with homosexual activity – why, the thought of it gave Lindsey Graham a case of the vapors!  It was so out of control, Grindr had to hire extra data centers just to handle the load (as it were).  Rest assured, the gay hookup app made its presence known by hosting a mixer the eve of the main event.  It was such a hot ticket, Vanity Fair and USA Today wrote about it.  Everyone was speculating who’d attend.  We’re told people like Don Lemon, Kaitlan Collins, some reality stars and lesser politicos along with a handful of anonymous hotties showed up.

As to the WHCA dinner itself, shots rang out in the lobby as people were settling in.  Secret Service told attendees to duck under their tables (which led to some pretty interesting photos), while Il Duce, Madame Duce, the Vice Duce, the head of the WHCA, and Oz Pearlman were whisked off the dais into the lobby.  This begs the question – what the fuck kinda mentalist are you, Oz?  Shortly after Secret Service pushed Wolf Blitzer into a men’s room, the suspect was neutralized.  Il Duce proclaimed, “The show must go on.”  Secret Service disagreed and sent everyone home.  Trump promises the event will be rescheduled “in the next 30 days.”

Last week, Boston had some presidential presence of its own.  Bill and Hillary Clinton were in town to see their daughter Chelsea running…her first Boston Marathon.  She finished 130^th with a commendable time of 3:40:52.  To protect her privacy, she ran under the name “Margaret Smith” and was accompanied by Secret Service agents.