Instead, I was in Las Vegas to see Kathy Griffin at Planet Hollywood.  To be accurate, she was in the Criss Angel Theater.  New Face, New Tour is prime Kathy.  Not only does the new face look fantastic, the 65-year-old comic bared her midriff for the entire show!  She also revealed that when she got her most recent facelift, she had her boobs lifted – and then showed them to us (well, encased in a fetching black bra).  The story of a subsequent breast mishap involving a dog and a dentist is best saved for those who buy a ticket.  The show was two and a half hours of wide-ranging material – from celebrity encounters to touring travails; from the aforementioned facelift to RFK Jr.  She even read an e-mail she got from Gloria Steinem regarding the late Larry Flynt.  Kathy took a moment to sum up the show: “I don’t mean to brag.  I’m not Dave Chappelle.  I can’t sell out stadiums.  I’m not Chris Rock.  But goddammit, don’t act like you could come to see any other comedian who’s gonna have an e-mail from Gloria Steinem talking about Larry Flynt fucking chickens!”  Should you want more details (or confirmation that she isn’t a black male comedian), check out her upcoming tour dates on KathyGriffin.com.

Even if you didn’t read it here months ago, by now most people know Whoopi Goldberg will take a little time away from The View to shoot a movie in the Hamptons.  Women Like Us will find Whoopi alongside pals like Jenifer Lewis, Vivica A. Fox and Vanessa Williams (Michelle Obama is a producer of the Netflix flick).  Due to the shooting schedule, Goldberg will only be able to host the daytime talker on Mondays.  Tuesday through Friday, Joy Behar will slip into the moderator’s chair (only an act of Congress could get her to show up on a Monday).  Filling out the table will be some View alums – Star Jones, Sherri Shepherd, Debbie Matenopoulos, and Lisa Ling will rotate throughout.  Interestingly, original moderator Meredith Vieira was hoping to participate, but had a conflict.

Another View veteran is returning to New York City.  Fresh off her triumphant hosting gig on Jimmy Kimmel Live and her off-Broadway show run, Rosie O’Donnell is headed back to the Great White Way.  She will be joining the cast of The Rocky Horror Show.  Rachel Dratch, who plays the narrator, is taking two weeks off.  So Rosie will be guiding the tawdry tale from October 6^th through the 18^th.  Get your tickets fast!

Being perpetually single, I’m in the dark on many things that couples share (except for those few couples that have shared me).  I never thought of getting a colonoscopy as a team effort, but Jonathan Bennett and Jaymes Vaughan do.  The darling duo decided it would be “fun” to do the prep for the procedure together.  And, being high-profile gays, they filmed it.  They say they did it to destigmatize the whole colonoscopy process.  But frankly, I think they just wanted to show off being a couple of pounds lighter.  You can see (but not smell) the prep on BillyMasters.com.