“My need to cause laughter forces me to question
how a country can embrace a smart, educated,
warm, funny First Lady like Michelle Obama
then somehow be OK with a surgically-
enhanced, cold-hearted Yugoslavian escort
who clearly hates her husband’” 
– Chuck Lorre during his speech at the Project Angel Food
Angel Awards dinner.  Apropos of…well, nothing.

I’m opposed to the death penalty.  That said, welcome to the 21^st century, where we livestream executions.  Well, we livestream conception, birth, and everything else, so why not?  We’re getting to be more and more like the ancient Romans every day.  Why not do it in a stadium and sell tickets?  Or perhaps a pay-per-view situation?  And there’s no taking any chances with those pesky injections.  This one is by firing squad.  Well, given the country we live in, I assume there is no shortage of sharpshooters.  Forget about OnlyFans and tune in for OnlyFiringSquads!  Or perhaps we should bring back hanging.  I’ve always been partial to a well-hung man.  Frankly, when any part of our life even remotely resembles a Jennifer Lawrence film, can the Apocalypse be far behind?

Every once in a while, a headline catches my eye.  “Christian TikTok Influencer and Missionary Arrested for Allegedly Sexually Abusing Children in Haiti”.  First off, I question anyone who is simultaneously a missionary and an influencer.  And, should there be any doubt, the influencer in this case is a male.  A bleached blond male at that (not that I’m one to cast aspersions on such proclivities).  It should go without saying that the children in question were also male.  The case involves 23-year-old Maylon Foshee, who has over 100K followers on TikTok.  According to documents filed in US District Court, he’s been charged with “engaging in illicit sexual conduct with minors in a foreign country”.  The allegations claim that while he was doing missionary work in Haiti, he let children stay at his house.  Three boys claim to have been sexually abused when they were 14 years old.  One claims he resisted Foshee’s advances… until he was promised a US passport.  At least we know the going rate.

Weeks ago I revealed New York 1^st Congressional District candidate Chris Gallant’s previous “modeling” experience for a series of leather fetish ads.  At the time, I was curious what the response of the voters would be.  Like me, they seem nonplussed.  According to polls, the photos from 2010 seem to have given Gallant a bump – not his first, I’m guessing.  He acknowledged the images as a part of his past that he was not ashamed of, and trust me, he has nothing to be ashamed of (you can check out our website for proof).  Then he said he wanted to “Make Politics Sexy Again”.  Which begs the question – when was the last time politics was sexy?  Surely it wasn’t during the Taft administration, unless that’s when chubby chasing started.  Maybe it was during the term of that “bachelor” president, James Buchanan.  Gallant is focusing on his career as a Black Hawk pilot for the National Guard, a firefighter on Long Island, and an air traffic controller at JFK.  And he’s doing so in tight T-shirts.  He has my vote!