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12 October 2026
“My need to cause laughter forces me to question
how a country can embrace a smart, educated,
warm, funny First Lady like Michelle Obama
then somehow be OK with a surgically-
enhanced, cold-hearted Yugoslavian escort
who clearly hates her husband’”
– Chuck Lorre during his speech at the Project Angel Food
Angel Awards dinner. Apropos of…well, nothing.
I’m opposed to the death penalty. That said, welcome to the 21st century, where we livestream executions. Well, we livestream conception, birth, and everything else, so why not? We’re getting to be more and more like the ancient Romans every day. Why not do it in a stadium and sell tickets? Or perhaps a pay-per-view situation? And there’s no taking any chances with those pesky injections. This one is by firing squad. Well, given the country we live in, I assume there is no shortage of sharpshooters. Forget about OnlyFans and tune in for OnlyFiringSquads! Or perhaps we should bring back hanging. I’ve always been partial to a well-hung man. Frankly, when any part of our life even remotely resembles a Jennifer Lawrence film, can the Apocalypse be far behind?
Every once in a while, a headline catches my eye. “Christian TikTok Influencer and Missionary Arrested for Allegedly Sexually Abusing Children in Haiti”. First off, I question anyone who is simultaneously a missionary and an influencer. And, should there be any doubt, the influencer in this case is a male. A bleached blond male at that (not that I’m one to cast aspersions on such proclivities). It should go without saying that the children in question were also male. The case involves 23-year-old Maylon Foshee, who has over 100K followers on TikTok. According to documents filed in US District Court, he’s been charged with “engaging in illicit sexual conduct with minors in a foreign country”. The allegations claim that while he was doing missionary work in Haiti, he let children stay at his house. Three boys claim to have been sexually abused when they were 14 years old. One claims he resisted Foshee’s advances… until he was promised a US passport. At least we know the going rate.
Weeks ago I revealed New York 1st Congressional District candidate Chris Gallant’s previous “modeling” experience for a series of leather fetish ads. At the time, I was curious what the response of the voters would be. Like me, they seem nonplussed. According to polls, the photos from 2010 seem to have given Gallant a bump – not his first, I’m guessing. He acknowledged the images as a part of his past that he was not ashamed of, and trust me, he has nothing to be ashamed of (you can check out our website for proof). Then he said he wanted to “Make Politics Sexy Again”. Which begs the question – when was the last time politics was sexy? Surely it wasn’t during the Taft administration, unless that’s when chubby chasing started. Maybe it was during the term of that “bachelor” president, James Buchanan. Gallant is focusing on his career as a Black Hawk pilot for the National Guard, a firefighter on Long Island, and an air traffic controller at JFK. And he’s doing so in tight T-shirts. He has my vote!
Diver Tom Daley recently teamed up with drag performer Plastique Tiara for one of her drag makeovers on Plastique’s Beauty Bar. He came prepared. “I always thought that my drag name would be Lady Good Diver,” as in Lady Godiva. Get it? Oh, that Daley – he’s got a rapier wit! Once the transformation was complete, he looked at himself in the mirror and couldn’t believe his eyes. “That looks nothing like me!” – which I think was the point. “I don’t know what I was expecting to look like, but it was not this. I actually look way more feminine than I thought I was going to look.” He toyed with the idea of staying in drag. “Can you imagine? I go and pick up the kids from school. They’re going to be like, ‘Excuse me, do you have ID?’” Then they did a video call to Mrs. Daley, Dustin Lance Black. His response? “Oh my god, I’m straight now! I always knew you were going to make a beautiful woman, but this is exceptional. Can you come home like that?” Just a little glimpse of the private life of the Daley-Blacks. The makeover can be found on BillyMasters.com.
Ryan Seacrest didn’t get so much of a makeover as a transformation. Over the past few years, people have expressed concern over the changes in Seacrest’s face, although I always enjoy a touch of facial wasting in my men. Then the 51-year-old recently slipped a shirtless photo in the midst of other snaps on Instagram. He captioned the post, “This is what a day off looks like from start to finish.” They included a rippling torso shot where he seemingly sports single-digit body fat. It helped me finish off, so you can enjoy it for yourself on our website.
Speaking of transformations, we must send congratulations out to actor and comedian Daniel Franzese, who revealed he’s lost 135 pounds. How’d he do it? Here’s what he posted online: “3 years. Down 135lbs. No booze, No sugar, workout 4 times a week (or more) now counting macros”. Good for you!
I’m getting ready for another one of my periodic trips to catch some theatre in London. But I think I’ll skip Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?. It’s a play I love but, frankly, I don’t have 3.5 hours to spend on the wrong cast (lesson learned with Calista Flockhart and Zachary Quinto – check the video on BillyMasters.com). I have no doubt Billy Crudup will be a great George, but what of Gillian Anderson? While meeting a group of fans by the stage door, she was filmed seemingly chastising some who have come back repeatedly: “You guys cannot sit in the front row. You cannot…I don’t care. You cannot sit in the front row. It’s so distracting. You can’t come 20 times and sit in the front row. It’ll drive me mad.” It should be noted that Gillian is laughing while saying this. She explained, “The video doing the rounds is me talking with women I go back over 20 years with – so please don’t say anything negative to or about them. We’re thrilled to be doing this show but for people in the front row, please be aware that in such an intimate venue we can all see you and sometimes, it can be a tad distracting!”
Our own Jonathan Groff is wowing audiences in Stratford-upon-Avon with an all-male production of my favorite Shakespeare play, As You Like It. Of course, this is nothing new – it’s how plays were done in Will’s day. Back then, the men all dressed up like Tom Daley on a date with his hubby! In fact, the female roles were typically taken on by teenage boys. In this play, the gender of the characters is more layered since the leading lady, Rosalind, dresses up as a male at one point. I’m told Groff pulls off this whole Victor/Victoria moment with aplomb. The Royal Shakespeare Company’s production has been receiving spectacular reviews. The Times said, “American star Jonathan Groff made an accomplished Shakespearean debut as Rosalind”. Doesn’t get better than that. The show must close on November 7th.
Groff’s last Broadway credit was as Bobby Darin in Just In Time. His replacement was announced as Jeremy Jordan. Except there was a brief hiatus between Jonathan’s exit and Jordan’s entrance. Enter the multi-talented Matthew Morrison, who took over the role for three weeks. At the time, I predicted he’d be back. Sure enough, he’s heading back into the show starting on October 20th for yet another limited three-week run, prior to the curiously cast Nicholas Christopher. Once again, I suspect this isn’t the last we’ll see of Matty in the show.
This leads to a perfectly timed theatre-related Ask Billy question. Frank in NYC asks, “Did you hear about the 40th anniversary performance of Phantom in London? Did Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman really sing?”
Well, they “appeared” to be singing. But let me explain what happened for those who don’t know. This special landmark performance of The Phantom of the Opera was recorded live for future release in cinemas. The momentous event took place at His Majesty’s Theatre in London, where the show has been running these past four decades (it was called Her Majesty’s Theatre for most of the show’s run). After the musical ended, several former notable stars turned up for an encore of the title duet. Genonimo Rauch and Sierra Boggess, John Owen-Jones and Lucy St. Louis, Killian Donnelly and Gina Beck, Ben Forster and Claire Moore. The final pair to appear were Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman, who entered on that mysterious gondola in the basement of the Paris Opera House. I’m told that the vocals for these veterans had been pre-recorded, but the audience didn’t seem to care. I think everyone was amazed that the final twosome were able to get out of the gondola without breaking a hip! There was at least one bit of live singing from the 84-year-old Crawford. The evening closed with all of the Phantoms singing “The Music of the Night”. Particularly poignant is when the current Phantom sang, “You alone can make my song take flight,” motioning for Crawford to sing the final line: “Help me make the music of the night.” You can see the full videos from the event on BillyMasters.com.
When anyone is paying to see Gillian 20 times, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Here’s a fun fact – two of the gentlemen in this column actually dated each other. It’s really not much of a secret, but you can probably figure it out by heading over to BillyMasters.com – the site that proves missionary is more than just a position. If you have a question, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Plastique works her magic on Seacrest! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.
Billy Masters
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