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24 April 2017

“There’s this whole generation of young Hollywood girls who can’t find love
where they think it’s supposed to be, and then they come out being
gay and two weeks later they have a boyfriend.  It drives me nuts!”
– 
Kelly Osbourne takes issue with girls who play gay for fun.  For the record,
if any young straight boys want to play gay with me, I’m in.

The Bette Midler-led production of Hello, Dolly! finally opened on Broadway.  And, no surprise, the critics were dutifully impressed.  Amidst all the plaudits, there was some disappointment for Bette – the absence of Carol Channing and Jerry Herman.  Of course, if she were keeping up with BillyMasters.com, she would have known weeks ago that these two would be unable to attend.  The composer of Dolly said he hoped to travel from Miami for the opening – perhaps by train since he hates planes.  But his health has been up and down, so he declined.

As for the original Dolly, Channing decided months ago that she wouldn’t be there.  “Dolly is Bette’s, now.  I’m not going to take away from that.”  Altruistic as those sentiments are, she, too, was not well enough for the trip.  Several sources tell me that Carol is under hospice care and has been intubated.  Not so, say her people.  “She’s at home in bed recovering but no means is she on death’s door or connected to anything.  She just had a small fall, but that’s nothing.”  I suspect the truth is somewhere in the middle.  We send our best wishes to Carol and hope, whatever is going on, that she’s not in any pain.

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Because of her fall, Carol wasn’t able to attend two local events.  One of them was an award from the Professional Dancers Society on April 23rd at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.  Due to Carol’s indisposition, Lily Tomlin graciously stepped in.  Because when I think of professional dancers, I think of Lily Tomlin.

The second event was Hello, Jerry!, a musical tribute to Jerry Herman which was produced by Michael Childers at the McCallum Theatre in Palm Springs and raised money for Jewish Family Service.  The show, under the direction of Jason Graae, featured many luminaries giving voice to Jerry Herman songs.  Folks like Lucie Arnaz Jr., Faith Prince, Hunter Ryan Herdlicka, Lee Roy Reams, Liz Callaway, David Burnham, Vicki Lewis, Davis Gaines, Gary Beach, Ruta Lee, and the indefatigable Carole Cook!  There were many stars in attendance as well, such as Mimi Hines, Kaye Ballard, Sal Mistretta, and Peter Marshall.  Were it not for the traffic driving to Palm Springs (damn you, Coachella), it would have been a perfect trip.  That mar was made up for by the terrific food courtesy of Lulu California Bistro - the short ribs, in particular, were spectacular.  And the event raised a ton of money.

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Above all else, I’m a Bostonian first.  So, I have followed the Aaron Hernandez murder trial(s) with some interest.  Once he committed suicide, I was perplexed.  He just was acquitted of murder, and his current lawyer was sure he could get an appeal going for the first murder sentence.  This is not when I would expect someone to commit suicide – Scripture passages notwithstanding.  But his death brought forth some revelations which helped make sense of a lot of things.  Apparently the first murder victim (a guy who was dating the sister of Aaron’s fiancé) allegedly knew that Hernandez was bisexual.  That at least gives Aaron a motive for murder – to prevent the rumor from getting out.  Is the story true?  Who knows.  But allegedly Hernandez left three notes – one to his fiancé, one to his daughter, and one to someone described as “his prison boyfriend”.  It has also been alleged that the prison beau is a significant beneficiary in Aaron’s will.  You mean there was money involved?  Shit, I would have been up for a conjugal visit had I known that!

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Now we get into a “she said, ‘she’ said” situation.  I’m sure you’ve all seen Caitlyn Jenner‘s latest interview with Diane Sawyer - which just happened to air four days before the release of Cait’s autobiography.  Because we already told you the good stuff in advance, there weren’t many revelations.  Jenner did say that she’s trying to be a better father, but is not as close to members of the Kardashian Klan as she’d like.  Two days later, Keeping Up with the Kardashians dealt with Kris‘ reaction to the book – and it’s not good.  “Basically, the only nice thing ‘she’ had to say was that I was great socially, at a party one time.  None of it makes sense.  Everything she says is all made up.  Why does everything have to be that Kris is such a bitch and an asshole?”  Kris’ big disagreement with Jenner is whether he (at the time, Cait was a he) told Kris about his issues: “I tell Kris about my gender issues before I make love to her.  This will always be a subject of dispute between us.  She insists that she was taken by surprise by my ultimate transition to Caitlyn, which obviously means in her mind that she did not know enough.”

Personally, I don’t completely believe either one of them.  The only thing I’m certain of is that much of this is staged.  I mean, do you think it’s just chance that Keeping Up (a show Caitlyn is still paid to be on) tackled this topic two days after the Sawyer interview and two days before the book release?  The only thing I’m sure of is that Kris wants her sunglasses back!

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If this proposed reunion of The Spice Girls happens, you’ll have Prince William to thank.  People have been buzzing that the girls might tour to celebrate the 21st anniversary of their hit “Wannabe” (plans fell apart to celebrate the 20th anniversary last year).  Prince William tackled the topic head-on when he ran into Baby Bunton at the opening of The Global Academy.  “Are we hearing about a reunion coming our way soon?” he asked (using the royal “we”).  “Only if you come and see us!” said Emma.  Willie might have had some inside knowledge since only 3 days earlier, he presented Victoria Beckham with an OBE (one step below becoming a Dame).

I was never really a Spicey, but you toss a Bananarama reunion my way, and I’m in.  Well, it looks like one is happening.  It was just announced that split Banana, Siobhan Fahey, is rejoining Sara Dallin and Keren Woodward for the first time in eons.  Sara explains, “We first had a chat about it over Christmas and before we knew it, the whole thing snowballed.  Keren and I called Siobhan to chat about it and things went from there.”  Siobhan still had to be coaxed.  “I didn’t say yes immediately.  I was in complete shock, but my heart felt a sense of absolute joy, and I just felt it was the right time in my life.”  While most outlets say this will be the first time the girls performed together since the Brit Awards in 1988, that’s not true.  In 2002, Siobhan joined the duo for “Venus” at G.A.Y. in London (you can see a video of that performance on BillyMasters.com).  The UK reunion tour will take place in November and December.

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Richard Simmons has finally left the house – he’s like the Beverly Hills equivalent of a groundhog!  Last Monday, Richard was rushed to Cedars Sinai because of a gastrointestinal issue – and, as someone who has had such issues, I know it ain’t fun or pretty.  This is Simmons’ second trip to the hospital.  Last summer, he went to Cedars when he was speaking incomprehensibly and suffering from dehydration.

Kevin Spacey was just named host of the Tony Awards - which means either someone better dropped out or he has something to promote.  Or there’s a third option.  People close to Kevin say that he’s going to take this opportunity to come out of the closet in a kinda matter-of-fact way.  Really?  I guess we’ll find out on June 11th.

Whether Spacey is gay or not, he’d be welcomed at Club Cumming, an offshoot of Alan Cumming‘s dressing room at Cabaret, which kinda became a nightclub with people always dropping in.  He’s teamed up with Ben Maisani (Anderson Cooper‘s beau) and Daniel Nardicio (of Playgirl and various notorious underwear parties in NYC and Fire Island) to make it a reality.  “Alan wants it to be a home for everyone of all ages, all genders, all sexualities, who all enjoy letting go and making mischief.  No judgments, no attitude, no rules, except kindness, acceptance and fun.”  The club will take over the Eastern Bloc space in the East Village and will re-open in the fall.

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Danny in Maryland has an Ask Billy question which I enjoyed researching: “Do you know anything about the hot male escort Briana is sleeping with on Grace and Frankie?  He’s absolutely incredible!”

His name is Damon Dayoub, and he’s straight.  There – I just lost half my audience.  But I can keep the rest of you on board when I tell you how hot he is, and how he’s not shy about showing off his assets, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

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When Lily Tomlin is bringing us dancers and male escorts, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  You can find all that and more on www.BillyMasters.com - the site that’s of no interest to Lily!  The rest of you can send your questions to Billy@BillyMasters.com and promise to get back to you before I tell you what I have in common with Caitlyn!  So, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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Revised: Apr 24, 2017 @ 5:13 am