The most ludicrous story going around was that Trump might dance with Caitlyn Jenner at one of the Inauguration Balls.  This rumor had no credence, if for no reason than Jenner was not invited by Trump.  She attended as a guest of the American United Fund, which describes itself as “dedicated to advancing the cause of freedom for LGBT Americans by making the conservative case that freedom truly means freedom for everyone.”  Well that clears up…actually nothing.  Prior to the Inauguration, Caitlyn’s publicist said, “The real question is if they danced, who would lead?”  If that’s really the question, Cait better get herself a new publicist (although I like the one she has).

As luck would have it, I ran into Caitlyn at an intimate gathering just days before the inauguration.  And, you know what?  She’s HUGE!  That’s a whole lotta Jenner coming at you.  That’s Cait plus eight!  Speaking of eight, there is absolutely no way she wears a size eight.  Just the shoulders alone would require something from the Linda Evans Collection.  That said, Jenner’s a handsome woman in a taller, Madeleine Albright kinda way.  She seemed to be quite charming and accessible to those who interacted with her.  I just stood there and kinda studied her.  If I were to make a suggestion, I’d say invest in better hair.  The right style can really hide a myriad of problem areas.  I once consulted with a plastic surgeon and asked him what I could do to slow down the inevitability of aging.  He looked me up and down, said “Bangs”, and walked out of the office!

For the pre-inauguration dinner, Caitlyn wore a black dress with what is being called a plunging neckline.  But that’s really not accurate.  It was more like plungeous interruptus.  In mid-plunge, a button closed the gap.  Then the plunge continued below the button.  I guess the button was there to give you a chance to think, “Do I really want to take this plunge?”  My answer was decidedly no.  The bottom of the dress was covered in fringe – please, God, let that have been fringe.  Without question, she was the best-looking transgender former Olympian at the dinner.