It was an eventful week for Kathy Griffin.  First, The Advocate (which apparently still exists as a print publication) named her Advocate of the Year.  They put her on the cover and naming her the “A” in LGBTQIA – the letter that almost nobody mentions.  She was also inducted into the Out 100 (again, an honor from a magazine that I thought was long defunct – owned by the same company that owns The Advocate, by the by).  It should be noted that other awardees included people or organizations long dormant.  I suppose congratulations are in order.

This all happened while two events were going on concurrently – Kathy’s latest tour (New Face, New Tour), and BravoCon.  This conjunction led to a provocative situation.  During a BravoCon Q&A, someone asked Andy Cohen if he foresaw a mending of fences with Kathy.  He said, “Well, never say never about anyone, but Kathy and I emailed the other day.”  This left the rest of the story in Kathy’s court, and she revealed the details at her show at the Grove of Anaheim.  She said he e-mailed her first, and it was “sort of nice”, but she was sure Cohen “vetted it with lawyers”, probably knowing she’d read it on stage.  While she stopped short of doing that, but did say it was “civil”.  It wasn’t an actual apology.  She termed it as “Sorry, not sorry”.  She claims to have replied very quickly and was “kind of emotional” – which is never a good sign.  She added that she missed working with Bravo and felt it was a fun place.  When asked if she thought they could get past it all, she said, “Let’s go with maybe.”

In something even more inexplicable, Netflix renewed the globally panned All’s Fair for a second season.  There is a theory that the scathing reviews made it a must-see.  There are also rumors that Kim Kardashian’s role will be severely scaled back for season two – the excuse being she has to study for the bar.  The truth is, she can’t deliver.

“I am just gonna brave the cold in the costume.  I’ve decided
to just not wear any undergarments!”
– Jonathan Groff’s response when told how frigid it could be performing
during Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  He added, “Any extra
undergarments”.  So perhaps normal undies were employed.  Not to
worry – NYC was a balmy 40 degrees during the parade.

I was just in one of the nicest restrooms ever – at Providence’s TF Green Airport.  In fact, the entire airport is the best-kept secret in New England, an area not known for keeping secrets.  You can get there from Boston easily via the Commuter Rail, which brings you right to the terminal.  Don’t bother asking which terminal – there is but one.  Once past the most accommodating of TSA checkpoints, you’ll find glistening restrooms decked out in marble-ique walls and heavy wood paneled doors.  I’m not one to typically whip it out in a bathroom, but I was compelled to flash some pics…much to the dismay of the other patrons!

Someone who has likely enjoyed a men’s room or two is Kevin Spacey.  Whatever one thinks about his numerous exploits, one cannot deny his talent.  So I was ready to tell you that he just wrapped a sci-fi flick The Tenth Planet – The Red Sister.  Then came news of some new civil claims against the actor in the UK courts.  There are three charges.  Spacey has denied two of them.  The claimants of the ones he’s denied are anonymous.  One of them says that Spacey “deliberately assaulted him” on 12 occasions between 2000 and 2005.  While I don’t know the details, one might think that he’d have avoided being around Spacey after the third or fourth incident.  Perhaps it was a work situation, or maybe he’d suffered a head injury in the Falklands.  The second man claims after an assault in 2008, he has “psychiatric damage and financial loss”.   The third claimant has waived his right to anonymity.  He is Ruari Cannon, who previously told his story on the documentary Spacey Unmasked.  He claims Spacey groped him at a party after the press night of Sweet Bird of Youth at the Old Vic in 2013.  Spacey termed the incident “ridiculous and it never happened”.  And yet, he has not filed a response with the court.  I’m sure he has a bit of time since the trial date has been tentatively set for October 12, 2026.

South Carolina recently executed someone via firing squad.  For anyone out there keeping track, this was the third such execution in South Carolina in the past year!  Apparently firing squads are making a comeback!  From the photo I saw, I wouldn’t term the accused a “looker”.  I certainly wouldn’t have slept with him – forever squashing the notion that I have a “type”.  But he did request egg rolls and chocolate cake as his final meal.  I may be in love.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Sean in Baltimore: “Is Matt Rogers dating that hot guy from Below Deck?”

This story got some traction when Matt Rogers posted photos with a number of people at BravoCon, including Fraser Olender who is the Chief Stew on Below Deck.  Are they dating?  Nobody has said officially.  Yes, they’ve liked and commented on each other’s photos.  And, yes, they were photographed locked in an embrace with Matt hugging him from behind.  But it’s not like he was fucking him (as if)!  While lots of headlines proclaim them a couple, neither has confirmed.  Olender did say, “I’m very happy and I’m not necessarily single.”  He missed the last day of BravoCon because “my heart and lungs are having a bit of a meltdown”.  He was whisked to a local ER.  “A very special human stayed with me until 5am whilst I lay there useless, in agony, attached to multiple machines and pumped with the strongest meds – sooo grateful for him, the nurses and the docs!”  You had me at “whilst”.  When Matt was asked if the two were dating, he said, “We’ve been hanging out quite a bit.”  In what ways?  A somewhat tongue-tied Rogers said, “In the ways of the gays.”  Check out the happy couple on BillyMasters.com.

When Matt’s tongue is tied, we’ve definitely come to the end of another column.  If Matt and Fraser are dating, good for them.  They’re both cute – obviously not as cute as David Archuleta, but who is?  You can see more of them and so many others on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t judge.  If you have something you’d like me to delve into further, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Simone goes even bigger!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

The guy who accosted Ariana Grande on the Wicked: For Good red carpet at the Singapore premiere previously targeted Katy Perry.  There’s no accounting for taste.

In other film news, we hear that Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz may be reuniting for a fourth Mummy flick.  Might I suggest they call it Grand Mummy?

In announcing a sequel to Zootopia, Disney also revealed that it will include a new character – Nibbles.  This minx of a beaver will be played by Fortune Feimster.  Once again, I’ll pause while you insert your own joke.

With the Bond franchise now in the hands of Amazon (OK, technically Amazon MGM Studios), rumor has it that Jeff Bezos wants his wife to be the next Bond girl.  Lauren Sanchez as a Bond girl?  The same Lauren Sanchez who was turned down TWICE to be a co-host on The View?  If that’s the criteria, Rachel Campos has a shot!

Olympian Simone Biles went public about some cosmetic procedures she’s undergone.  “Social media is not real, that’s why I try to be as transparent as possible.”  She had breast augmentation, lower blepharoplasty, and earlobe surgery (which, you may recall, Chelsea Handler says she wants done).  What is lower blepharoplasty?  In Simone’s family, it’s known as “Biles eye bags”.  She says she wanted her boobs to be even bigger, but they couldn’t fit into her frame.  When she saw the ones she ended up with, she felt they were too big.  But, as with most large foreign objects entering the body, she just had to breathe and let them settle in.  Eventually, they felt just right.

I recently went to see the third installment in the Now You See Me franchise – which completely baffled me because I apparently missed the second film (I’ve now rectified that).  As an aside, can I just say it’s almost criminal what has happened to Jesse Eisenberg.  Really, whoever did that to his hair should be sued for malicious intent.  Then again, it’s been 16 years – time does indeed march on.  The point of this item is to tell you about the cinema I saw it at – one of those that makes you choose a seat in advance (something I hate doing).  This cinema labels Row A at the back of the house and increases letters as you move closer to the front.  So I guess it is a thing.

Would you like to spend a “Hollywood Holiday with David Archuleta”?  Frankly, I never thought I’d live to see the day gay men are losing their shit over Archie.  Not that there’s anything wrong with him.  But not since the days of Danny Pintauro Fever have I been so perplexed.  While I scoff, I doff my hat to him for using his “hotness” to raise money for LGBTQ+ rights (which I’m sure tickles his father to no end).  He’s doing a handful of holiday concerts at Joe’s Pub in NYC and the Peppermint Club in LA which are called My Only Wish – and please, keep that wish to yourself.  He’s teamed up with the Human Rights Campaign to auction off a package, which includes VIP access for two to the December 18^th LA show, a meet and greet as well as photo with his package, after-show cocktails at The Abbey (which does not seem to include Davey – unless you hit it off), a two-night stay at 1 Hotel West Hollywood, and dinner at Mother Wolf, a restaurant I’ve not been to.  You also win roundtrip airfare and $300 in Uber Black credits – which should get you at least halfway from LAX.  The auction deadline is December 3^rd.   Details can be found on Davey’s social media or at Propeller.LA.  We’ll also link to it on BillyMasters.com.

Speaking of gaylas, I hear that our very own Cheyenne Jackson (quoted above) is doing a solo concert on December 8^th at Carnegie Hall, thank you very much!  Tickets are going fast, so grab ‘em at CarnegieHall.org.

Fresh from his London debut, Sean Hayes is returning to the New York stage.  But this time, he’ll be off-Broadway.  He’ll be appearing in David Cale’s The Unknown.  Here’s how the press release describes it: “Hayes plays Elliott, a writer who heads to a remote cabin to cure his writer’s block, only to discover he may not be alone.”  Spooky!  Since it’s a solo show, I’m guessing he is alone.  The play will run at Studio Seaview January 31 – April 12.

In other great gay events, the Harrison County Rodeo in Mississippi has been postponed due to an outbreak of a rare strain of horse herpes.  I’ll pause while you insert your own joke (or whatever you’re inserting…and where).

“YOU roll with it!  You don’t need hair.  You’re a pastor –
you don’t need any hair.  I’m an actress –
I need all the hair!”
– Cheyenne Jackson’s response when his older brother told him to
“roll with it” when he started losing his hair at 19.  I can’t quite put my
finger on it, but I’ve never been so turned on by any member of the
Jackson family since Rebbie and the centipede!  I must also highly
recommend his backstage Instagram feed “Mirror, She Wrote”.  Fantastique.

Last week, I was invited to an all-star reading of the film script of All About Eve.  The most glittering of the cast was Scarlett Johansson as Eve – and she was superb (I’d stop short of saying she was a mass of fire and music).  J. Cameron-Smith was Margo, and she did a clever thing – she made the role her own.  Not an easy task when every drag queen, gay man, and several straight women can give you pitch-perfect line readings in Miss Davis’s inimitable style.  Alec Baldwin’s Addison DeWitt was a revelation.  While I thought he was channeling Kevin Spacey in House of Cards, my companion felt he was the embodiment of Big Daddy.  Nicole Ari Parker was a spunky Karen, while the always reliable John Benjamin Hickey played her husband, Lloyd.  I was unfamiliar with Luke Kirby, our Bill.  This perhaps made his performance all the more impressive.  Effortless, timeless, natural.  And then Alec Baldwin summed it up when he said, “How lucky are we to have Charles Busch channeling Thelma Ritter.”  As usual, Charles was divine.  And while Charles included a heaping portion of Ritter, he brought more than a bit of his own magic, and perhaps a dash of Joan Blondell!  The reading was directed by Scott Wittman, and his frequent collaborator Marc Shaiman tinkled the ivories.  Talk about an embarrassment of riches.

This event was a benefit for The Center at West-Park Presbyterian Church – a historic building that has not only been a place of worship, but has also housed many artistic endeavors.  It’s inspired quite a few neighborhood celebrities to join forces to try and save the magnificent building, which has been a fixture since 1889.  People like Matt Dillon (who was at the reading), Mark Ruffalo and many others are working to obtain landmark status.  In fact, they are meeting with the Landmark Preservation Committee at a public hearing on December 9^th, and they can use more people to support the cause – even by Zoom.  You can get more details at CenterAtWestPark.org.

While he didn’t mention it to me, Charles Busch is also part of another benefit reading – this time, of his own play, The Lady in Question.  This December 6^th event is a fundraiser for the medical expenses of Ken Sanders, who is directing the reading.  Alongside Busch is his muse and frequent collaborator Julie Halston, and their pal Doug Plaut (who I enjoyed seeing at Eve).  You’d be a fool to miss this event, which can be found on Eventbrite.com.

A question that came in shortly after last week’s column came out is our Ask Billy question.  Craig in San Francisco asks, “What do you know about the Jeremy Renner nudes?  I hear they came from an ex-girlfriend.”

This is quite a story, which really depends on who you believe.  The “girlfriend” in question is Yi Zhou, a Chinese filmmaker.  He participated in two of her projects – a documentary called Chronicles of Disney, and an animated film called Stardust Future.  She says that when they broke up, he relentlessly pursued her, verbally abused her and even threatened to call ICE on her.   She also claims that he sent her “a string of unwanted/unsolicited pornographic images of himself”.  Needless to say, Renner denies everything.  In fact, he also denies that they were ever “dating”.  He characterizes their relationship as a single “brief consensual encounter”, and that all of the crazy allegations started after he “rejected her romantic advances”.  An added wrinkle to this story is that there are rumors that Renner has been known to send such images to women in the past.  Whether they are him or not, who can say.  I suppose you could simply go to BillyMasters.com and decide for yourself.

When Renner is sending out photos of his footlong, we’ve definitely come to the end of another column.  Now I’m hungry…and horny.  So I’m gonna check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that satisfies a variety of appetites.  If you have a question for me about somebody (or even one of those nobodies), send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before someone wants to sleep with Holland Taylor!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

A few weeks ago, I told you that James Van Der Beek was too ill to attend a Dawson’s Creek reunion which raised money for his charity, F Cancer.  But you know what they say – charity begins at home.  He’s now putting a few pieces of memorabilia on the auction block to help pay for his treatment.  “I’ve been storing these treasures for years, waiting for the right time to do something with them.  And with all of the recent unexpected twists and turns life has presented recently, it’s clear that the time is now.”  He added, “I was away for treatment, so I couldn’t be a provider because I wasn’t working.”  Proceeds from this sale will hopefully help his family.  The auction will include such iconic items as Dawson’s clothes, bedroom furnishings, and even his necklace.  James is also parting with some items from Varsity Blues.  The sale will be held on PropStoreAuction.com.

This leads to a story about Kerr Smith – and, frankly, when else will I have a segue like that?  Kerr recently went public about how he felt when he learned his character on Dawson was gay.  Kevin Williamson took him to get a cup of coffee and said, “Kerr, we wanna go down a different avenue with Jack.”  Kerr describes it as “a real bummer for me, honestly.  I was really excited because I just got my dream job and I’m so excited.  And now I’m being asked to do something very, very different.”  He didn’t say any of that to Kevin, naturally.  What he did say was, “Look, can you give me the day or a couple of days because I need to make some phone calls and basically call everyone that I respect and their opinion of, and see if…I need to make the right decision here because at that time in 1998, this is a tough one.”  Some of the people who turned to for advice were his parents, his agent, even his co-star John Wesley Shipp.  “Now looking back in hindsight, I just wanna say this: I’m super, super proud of what we pulled off because as you know, the face of television has changed, and I think people’s acceptance of other people, sexuality, or whatever it might be is much more broad and much more open these days.”  He is currently working on a book, called I Don’t Want to Wait: My Journey on Dawson’s Creek Without a Paddle.

Speaking of dancing, I watched Dancing with the Stars for the first time in a couple of seasons.  I simply couldn’t resist Tom Bergeron’s triumphant return for the show’s 20^th anniversary.  Truly it was fun to see many of the former contestants and pros in fleeting shots.  But if I’ve previously called this show Dancing with a Bunch of Nobodies, a better name might be Dancing with Relatives of Stars.  Because we saw the return of Rumor Willis – the child of two stars (who showed no emotion at the mention of her father’s illness).  And Dylan Efron!  OK, his brother is a star.  But what does Dylan do?  I thought Jen Affleck was related to Ben.  But Affleck is her married name – her husband is Zac Affleck (yes, I kid you not).  She’s told people that her husband is a distant relative to the more famous Afflecks.  Then genealogists did some research and discovered that there is no connection whatsoever.  Zac leapt to his wife’s defense: “That’s just a family joke.”  Leave those to the professionals!

Speaking of nobodies, I’ve been told that YouTubers Daniel Howell and Phil Lester are dating.  But I’m not exactly sure I know who they are – unless one of them used to call his mother Lovey!

Everybody seems to be talking about how terrible All’s Fair is, and how Kim Kardashian is the kiss of death.  But another story was more interesting to me.  Co-stars Niecy Nash-Betts, Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close were asking each other questions on Entertainment Tonight.  Niecy had a question for Sarah.  “When you look at me and you look at you, have you ever once thought about trading partners?”  Sarah smiled, nodded, and said, “Yes”.  Sarah added, “Have you seen Niecy’s partner?”  And Glenn chimed in, “I can go for that!”  Meanwhile, Holland is sitting home wondering, “What about me?  Do I get to sleep with anyone?  Or am I running the camcorder?”

I don’t think there’s any wife swapping in the family of RFK Jr. (we all know about RFK Sr.).  But if so, perhaps Cheryl Hines has helped Bobby with his latest research.  He claims there is a link between circumcision and autism.  If that’s the case, I’ve slept with a whole lotta autistic people – and am likely on the spectrum myself. 

By the by, we hear that since Trump eviscerated the Kennedy Center board, ticket sales to shows have dropped considerably.  Some events have only sold 34 percent – although to be fair, that was a Bee Gees tribute concert!

“Well, I love soggy bottoms, so it’s got to be RuPaul’s Drag Race.”
– Jonathan Bailey was asked to choose between RuPaul’s Drag Race or
The Great British Bake Off.  As to “soggy bottoms”, he’d be more likely to find
them on the baking show, since most competitive drag queens tend to
be more…shall we say “aggressive”.  But methinks he’d like that, too.

Last week, a court case caught my eye.  Sean Charles Dunn, a former Defense Department employee, was being accused of misdemeanor assault, resisting arrest, and interfering with a federal office.  Normally I’m for all of that, but this case is particularly sweet because Dunn was charged with assaulting the officer in question with a “submarine-style sandwich”.  During the exchange, Mr. Dunn screamed, “Fuck you, you fucking fascists”.  The only thing he did that I can’t condone was that he attempted to flee the scene.  Frankly, I would have held up the Subway wrapper like Norma Rae. Oh, didn’t I mention – it was a Subway sub!  In the defense attorney’s opening statement, she said, “He did it.  He threw the sandwich” – which was the only thing to say since someone videotaped the incident.  She continued by characterizing the incident as “a harmless gesture that did not, could not, cause injury.”  That depends on what kinda sub it was.  When I get the Italian BMT with double meat, it’s pretty hefty.  The officer who was the recipient of the sandwich says that he “could smell the onions and mustard” on his uniform – and that the mustard stained his shirt.  I don’t think that counts as assault, but perhaps salt!  The prosecutor said, “Here we have the defendant, throwing a sandwich, but he’s throwing it hard.  That meets the definition of force.”  Alas, the jury didn’t see it that way.  Although they repeatedly had to be admonished by the judge for laughing during testimony, they did find Mr. Dunn not guilty.

Every once in a while, something happens that makes me long to be in LA.  Last weekend was one of those times, when the Academy’s Governors Awards were presented to Debbie Allen, Tom Cruise, Wynn Thomas, and Dolly Parton (who accepted via remote).  But this isn’t what I cared about.  On the eve of the event, Debbie held a party at her Dance Academy.  That’s where she coaxed Tom Cruise onto the dance floor to get jiggy wit it.  He did one of those dances like your mom did at weddings.  Or like Joy Behar does on The View – with the hands in the air and snapping.  Suddenly, so close that she could smell his Tinactin, appeared my Play Mama, the irrepressible Jenifer Lewis…in a head scarf!  And that, dear readers, is quite a sight to see.  See it you can…on BillyMasters.com.

Lots of readers have been writing in about Queer Eye Jonathan Van Ness.  He has transformed himself with a 70-pound weight loss.  He reveals it began with some “medical issues” he had in 2023.  In addition to portion control and Pilates (thank you, Star Jones), he adds, “I want to note, GLP-1s have been a huge help.”  He says he “didn’t feel good”, and adds that his whole life he wanted to see an ab – and now he can.  “But I want to get one thing straight.  I was always really, really cute.  And I always felt cute, but I didn’t feel good.  And now I feel good.”

Then there’s sexy Scott Clifton, who appears as Liam on The Bold and the Beautiful.  The formerly hunky actor who was perfection to this viewer has lately been sporting a much leaner frame – which has led people to inquire about his health.  Yes, his character had brain surgery for a tumor…that he actually didn’t have (it’s a long story).  But insiders say his weight loss is due to stressful marital issues off-screen rather than health challenges on.

I’ve held onto this week’s Ask Billy question for a while, because there wasn’t anything timely about it…until now.  Will in Chicago: “I know you watch CBS soaps.  Have you checked out Beyond the Gates?  The guy who plays Smitty is so hot – and so familiar.  What do you know about him?”

That would be Mike Manning – previously on The Real World: DC way back in 2009.  At the time, he identified as bisexual (he has since married Nicholas Tocco).  Over the years, he’s done a fair amount of acting and producing, and last year joined Beyond the Gates as Bradley “Smitty” Smith.  His character is married to Martin – making him part of a gay interracial couple.  They even have adopted kids!  In a recent episode, his character made the following speech: “We can’t pretend that sex wasn’t in every song we listened to growing up.  Or on every season of The Real World.”  Mike showed the clip online and gave kudos to whoever wrote and greenlit that line.  For those who didn’t know, he explained how that related to his own experience.  He relates that when he moved to LA, his agent told him never to mention The Real World if he wanted to be taken seriously as an actor.  “And now, here we are, all these years later.  On Beyond the Gates, whichever writer decided to incorporate that line into my character’s dialogue, it’s so funny.  Well played.  Art imitating life.  It feels so meta.  I don’t even know who it was or how you found out, but well played.  That’s hilarious.”  Well, Mike, it’s not really much of a secret – especially since people can watch the clip on BillyMasters.com.

When life is imitating art, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  While I try and investigate how Sam, Jonathan and Scott lost all that weight, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that will keep you on the edge of your seat.  If you have a topic for me to tackle, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before someone charges Jonathan Bailey with the murder of Stephen Sondheim.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Congrats to Jonathan Bailey, who was named People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.  It’s been noted that he is the first openly gay man to hold this title – although there are at least two non-openly gay men who have dabbled.  That aside, this honor has always troubled me.  They pick a new guy every year.  So does that mean that the previous “alive” titleholders are chopped liver?  Bailey now tops Pitt, Clooney, Idris and Jackman?  Now, there’s a visual I could get behind!  Last week, Jonathan proved he’s as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside.  After Robert Irwin did a Wicked-inspired routine on Dancing with the Stars, Bailey sent him flowers with a note that said, “You are the shiz, Robert.  You’ve done all the Fiyeros proud.  Cheering you on from afar.  Big love.  JB.”  If that doesn’t tempt Irwin, then he must really be straight!

Did you know that Bailey had one very notable fan?  Marianne Elliott directed Jonathan in the gender-swap version of Company in the UK back in 2018.  Three days before Stephen Sondheim died, Elliott told him that she’d be directing Bailey in a revival of the play Cock in London’s West End (I saw the original production with Ben Whishaw and Andrew Scott).  Sondheim allegedly closed his eyes, put his hand on his chest, and said, “Be still my beating heart.”  Another casualty of Bailey’s beauty.

Another Jonathan made some news last week.  When asked if he thought his character in a Mean Girls sequel should be gay, Jonathan Bennett was pretty direct.  “I think Aaron would be straight because I wouldn’t want to change the narrative of Aaron Samuels because Jonathan Bennett is gay.”  Finally, someone talking sense.

People on both sides of the pond rarely agree on things.  But one thing sources in both the US and UK governments tell me is that the Andrew formerly known as Prince holds the key to a number of bombshells.  Whether he spills them or not depends on who he’d like to help – himself or us Yanks (Andy knows a thing or two about yanking).  While he’s under no obligation to speak, he also doesn’t have royal prerogative to hide behind.  Still, a certain Louis wannabe should be mighty concerned.  You know what happened to the last Louis the crowd turned on.

Speaking of Brits, canoer (canoeist?) Kurts Adams Rozentals found himself in hot water after filming an “edgy” video in an airplane lavatory.  The footage was for his OnlyFans account.  “I have been posting videos that are consciously made to be edgy in order to drive conversations to my ‘spicy content page’, to fund this ultimate dream of going to the Olympics.”  The problem was, he posted the footage on his public Instagram account.  Well, that was too much for Paddle UK, who apparently frown upon their athletes playing with their paddles in public.  They ruled the video showed “indecent, offensive or immoral behavior” and called it an “offensive use of social media.”  They banned Rozentals from competing for two years – essentially killing his Olympic dream.  Kurts is fighting back, saying he didn’t show any actual nudity.  “And while I understand the video could be described as crazy, it was not illegal and certainly shouldn’t be the reason for banning an athlete.”  You know where he ain’t banned?  On BillyMasters.com.

Elsewhere overseas, the Netherlands just voted in their first gay prime minister.  And his partner is an Olympian!  34-year-old Rob Jetten is engaged to Nico Keenan, who is actually a two-time Olympian from Argentina.  That’s the good news.  His sport?  Field hockey.  It ain’t just for future gym teachers anymore – at least not in Argentina!

“I don’t know if there are any kids watching. 
But if you are, grow up straight.”
–  Bill O’Reilly on Real Time with Bill Maher.  Curious words from someone who allegedly urged a
female producer to rub a “falafel thing” on her “pussy”.  We always thought he meant “luffa” –
although neither seems particularly hygienic.  What he meant for the “kids” was to grow up
and stay on the “straight and narrow” …unlike him, apparently.

Last week, I was seated in the second row of a theatre.  In front of me were four empty seats.  In due time, two older ladies sat down.  Just before the show started, four other people appeared with tickets for all four seats.  Discussions ensued until the first ladies pulled out their tickets.  In what was perhaps the greatest line reading of all time, one of them said with complete innocence, “You mean this isn’t Row R?”  Yes, because so many theatres begin the Orchestra section with Row R!  They quickly scurried away – only to later be spotted in Row F.  I have yet to determine if it was an issue of guile, malice, or presbyopia.

The performer I went to see was the incomparable Sam Harris, accompanied by the equally astounding John McDaniel.  The high esteem and affection I hold for both has been duly noted.  This was my first time seeing Sam since his vocal troubles during Covid, so I had some concerns – which were quickly alleviated.  He is in fine fettle.  In fact, his voice may be better than ever.  This new show, Beyond the Rainbow, is marvelously constructed with a healthy balance of witty showbiz anecdotes and new material alongside the expected showstoppers (apparently it is always 11 o’clock at Casa Harris).  One cannot ignore the elephant in the room – or the lack thereof.  Sam has lost a staggering 55 pounds.  He’s as svelte as a schoolgirl, and has seemingly turned back time.  If you get the chance to see him, run, don’t walk!  BTW, some photos and videos can be found on BillyMasters.com.

How much would you pay to get into Adam West and Burt Ward’s pants?  Last week, someone paid close to $1 million to buy a collection of costumes from the Batman TV series – including Batman and Robin’s outfits, along with ensembles worn by Yvonne Craig’s Batgirl, Julie Newmar’s Catwoman, and Cesar Romero’s Joker.  These were all from the estate of collector, Dr. Stewart Berkowitz (no relation, I’m sure).  Also on the block were Henry Winkler’s Happy Days leather jacket, Barbara Eden’s harem ensemble from I Dream of Jeannie, William Shatner’s Captain Kirk get-up, Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman costume (complete with golden bracelets and lasso), Jackie Gleason’s Honeymooners gear, Fred Gwynn’s Herman Munster get-up, and even Don Adams’ shoe phone from Get Smart.  Casa Berkowitz must have been really popular around Halloween!

Last week, Bette Midler hosted her annual Hulaween, which raised money for the New York Restoration Project.  This was the 30^th annual event, so it was with some dubious distinction that Bette was given the Catalyst Award – from the organization she founded.  “Yes, it’s true – I’m no longer a spring chicken.  I’m no longer a summer chicken.  I’m not even a fall chicken.  I’m an endangered chicken at this point.  However, I am honored to accept the Catalyst Award tonight because I did do something.  I did.  I actually did do something.”  The presentation was made by Billy Crystal, which reunited the costars of 2012’s Parental Guidance.  Bette then regaled the crowed with a rendition of “Pretty Legs, Great Big Knockers”.

Meanwhile in Hollywood, the costars of Monster-in-Law had a reunion at Variety’s Power of Women event.  No, J-Lo wasn’t there.  But Jane Fonda went to present an award to Wanda Sykes.  When musing on their past, she said, “It was a challenging shoot – not just ‘cause I had to keep slapping Jennifer Lopez – ‘cause I had to keep a straight face when working with Wanda.  We both like to improve, so I never knew what she was going to say.  And I swear, every take would get funnier and funnier.”  When Wanda got up, she recounted how she tried to plan a recent dinner with Jane, but unfortunately Fonda was “in the Amazon meeting with the Indigenous people to discuss climate change.”  She wrapped up by saying, “God doesn’t send you things – he sends you people.  So, I realized then that God sent Jane to make us all feel shitty about ourselves.  We need to be better folks.”

When we’re learning Jane Fonda likes to improv, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  Watch how I tie this column together with a fun fact.  Koo Stark appears in the film version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show as an uncredited bridesmaid to Susan Sarandon.  I believe it is her most memorable film appearance.  For more details like that, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that digs a little deeper.  If you wanna weight in on any of the dish and dirt, drop a note to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Jane Fonda hosts Saturday Night Live!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

You want to talk about physically and emotionally exhausting shows?  Try appearing in Dreamgirls.  Every few years, someone has visions of reviving the hit Broadway musical.  The problem is finding someone who can fill Jennifer Holliday’s voluminous pink blouse from the 1981 original production!  The most successful was Lillias White, who helmed the 1987 revival (she was Holliday’s understudy) – to say nothing of returning to the role for Seth Rudetsky’s superlative concert in 2001 with Audra McDonald and Heather Headley.  In 2004, Frenchie Davis from American Idol and The Voice headlined a handful of cities.  Of course, Jennifer Hudson starred in the film version in 2007.  Due to the success of the film, a national tour was hurriedly put together in 2009 with another AI alum.  Syesha Mercado starred as Deena when the musical opened at the Apollo Theatre in Harlem – the first stop on a national tour that hoped to land on Broadway.  Needless to say, that didn’t happen.  In 2016, Amber Riley from Glee was cast as Effie for the London debut of the musical.  Following in Holliday and Hudson’s footsteps, she won an award for her portrayal – the Olivier (their version of the Tonys).  And now, director Camille A. Brown hopes to discover an unknown and make them a star when/if the show hits Broadway next fall.

It was recently announced that The Rocky Horror Show would return to Broadway in April of 2026.  So, the question on our quivering lips was simple – who would play the iconic role of Dr. Frank-N-Furter?  Would some famous chap slip into the well-worn pumps and corset?  Or would they find some fabulous unknown?  In a way, they did both.  Our very own Luke Evans will take on the role.  Yes, the Welsh dreamboat is a known entity, having starred in numerous films (including the live-action version of Beauty and the Beast) as well as many stage roles on London’s West End.  But he hasn’t conquered Broadway…yet.  He’ll lead the Rocky Horror cast when it bows at the venerable Studio 54.  I predict he’ll fill out the corset quite well – to say nothing of the panties.

In news of an actual gay porn star, Brent Corrigan has resurfaced after a lengthy illness.  Oh, you remember Brent – he’s the gay porn version of Traci Lords (look it up).  Best known for working underaged and then, allegedly inspiring such passion as a murder plot (see the film King Cobra).  As with most things Brent-related, the details he shares don’t quite jibe.  Years ago, he told an interviewer that I’m always kissing him, which is strange – I usually like them older.  But, who am I to question someone who was allegedly at the brink of death?  According to Brent, back in February 2023, he had a “massive seizure”, was on “life support”, and “they weren’t able to register any brain activity”.  Well, I could have told them that!  And yet, somehow his life was spared – unlike the climactic final scene in Song of Bernadette (a film which I don’t believe had any singing).  Corrigan remained hospitalized until July of that year.  During that time, he was taught how to walk, eat, etc. – and you know I have a vested interest in the etc!  Truly, we hope he is doing as well as he claims and that he has many years ahead of him.

The 2023 winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Sasha Colby, has been on a national tour of Stripped II – making her the first drag diva to headline a LiveNation tour (although, technically, she’s a trans woman…but I’ll leave that discussion to the theologians).  Last week, she abruptly cancelled the remaining dates.  “The truth is that I am exhausted.  Twenty-one shows in five weeks took a much bigger toll on me that I expected, both physically and emotionally.  My mind and heart are tired in ways I can’t ignore anymore.  I’ve always tried to push through, but this time I need to listen to my body and spirit.”

“Pete Buttigieg is leading the 2028 race.  Tops Newsom in new poll.”
–  A recent headline says it all.  I bet this is news to the Governor – to say nothing of Mayor Pete!

Over the last few months, I have really tried to live in gratitude – to be grateful for everything that comes my way.  I’m sure most of my readers feel likewise.  After all, there are children in Bangladesh who don’t get to read BillyMasters.com – even with Google Translate!  We’re particularly grateful not to be the artist formerly known as Prince Andrew.  I must confess, I came late to the Andrew Mountbatten Windsor party, but I’m totally caught up now and have eagerly digested every twist and turn of this drama – even though I don’t really care about him.  I was taken aback when I heard numerous journalists blame this entire contretemps on…Koo Stark!  Do you remember Koo?  She was an “actress” of dubious distinction, who sued (and won) an apology (and cash) from publications who referred to her as a “porn star”.  No such mistake will be made in this column – my standard for “star” is quite high.  Randy Andy (as he was known back in the day) was in love with Koo as much as his brother was in love with Camilla.  Neither son got to marry the love of their life – and we all know how that turned out!

The other surprising part of this drama is the loads of rubbish being heaped upon poor Fergie – who I once partied with in Houston back when she was still a Duchess (but prior to Toe-Gate).  A biographer seems to believe that the biggest problem is that Fergie always lives beyond her means and hasn’t got a job – like you’re gonna see Fergie working the Clinique counter at Harrods, or pumping gas at the local Tesco!  An example of her extravagance is the tale of Eugenie’s birthday party.  Apparently it had a Disney theme and Eugenie went as Snow White and actually hired seven actual dwarfs to play…well, the seven dwarfs.  Look, what do you expect her parents to do?  Have a bouncy castle delivered to Windsor Castle??  Sure, Eugenie was 25…but still!  As part of the deal Andrew brokered with King Charles, Beatrice and Eugenie will remain princesses.  And, at least for now, Andrew remains ninth in line to the throne.  One bad outbreak of bubonic plague and he could be sitting pretty.

This week’s Ask Billy question came from Gerald in Maine: “What do you know about Max Parker on Boots?”

Gerald has got his finger on the pulse of something, because last week the ratings for Boots on Netflix doubled!  Since not everyone reading this column has watched it, let me first tell you that Boots is about a closeted teenager who joins the Marines back in the 1990s – well before Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (and certainly before it was repealed).  That means Boots shows you lots of hot guys running around boot camp in and out of showers – or at least that’s what it looked like in the clip I saw.  The young recruit is played by Miles Heizer.  Max plays his “drill sergeant” – oh, so that’s what they call it these days.   He can drill me anytime – especially because the lovely Mr. Parker is indeed gay.  Alas, he’s married.  Well, you win some, you lose some.  He met actor Kris Mochrie on the set of Emmerdale in the UK, got engaged in 2022, and married this past summer.  Did I mention that they played brothers on the soap?  I’ve heard of brotherly love, but this is ridiculous.  Going back to Boots, Max is paired with the very fetching Sachin Bhatt, who you might recognize from Queer As Folk.  Should you care, Max is the big spoon – as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m ladling out such hot stuff, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  We’re all over the place this week.  From Liza to Christmas to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.  My God, if the Garland–Luft–Gumm–Minnelli family believed in that, none of them would have gotten married!  If you want someone who will ask and tell and even show, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t hold anything back.  If you have a question for me, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Liza joins the cast of The Voice – and brings her own chair!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

The Broadway production of Chicago likes to rotate people in and out of the role of Roxie – typically in between Charlotte d’Amboise appearances (she’s played Roxie over 2,500 times).  Of course, our pal Roz Ryan has played Matron “Mama” Morton close to two thousand times.  And now, they’re welcoming a new and not particularly matronly Mama.  Our very own Alex Newell will join the Broadway cast on November 17^th.  Newell, of course, made history as the first openly non-binary performer to win an acting Tony back in 2023 for Shucked.  This isn’t one of those hit-and-run gigs.  Alex will be playing Mama through the holidays and depart on January 11^th.

Following up on a trend I noted in a recent column, Ben Platt has announced a residency.  He’ll be playing the Ahmanson Theatre in LA.  From December 12^th through the 21^st, he’ll do 10 performances.  I remember when a residency was weeks or months.  I guess technically this is a residency – but I still say it’s on the cusp.

Rather than tour with her holiday show, this year Mariah Carey will have a “residency” of her own…in Las Vegas.  Mariah Carey’s Christmastime in Las Vegas will also run for 10 performances at the Dolby Live from November 28^th through December 13^th.  If you go, please do me a favor.  I’ve been concerned for Mariah’s well-being.  In the past, I’d note that she’d wear dresses that were about five sizes too small.  This required her to kinda shuffle around – because if she took a normal-size step, she’d burst out of her outfit and take out the first three rows.  Lately I’ve noticed that her head no longer moves.  It’s not like she’s had bad Botox.  It’s more like she’s got a stiff neck.  For her to turn her head, she has to start at her toes and work her way up.  So, if you see her, report back to me.

We’re getting the best Christmas gift courtesy of the BBC – a reunion of Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley!  Ever since the Absolutely Fabulous Inside Out special in 2024, the consensus is that we’d seen the end of the gruesome twosome.  Well, think again.  Alas, they won’t be reprising their AbFab characters.  Joanna is a regular on the BBC series Amandaland, which is a sequel to Motherland (which I realize doesn’t clear up anything for you Yanks!).  Lumley plays Amanda’s glamorous and oppressive mother, Felicity.  For the Christmas special, they will be visited by Felicity’s sister, Joan, played by Miss Saunders.  The character is described as “a ball of country-living, enthusiastic upper-class bluster – very different from Felicity”.  One can only assume hilarity will ensue.

On to the story that keeps on giving – the David Geffen divorce.  Last week, the mogul’s estranged spouse David Armstrong withdrew his complaint that he had been “groomed”.  The document claimed that Geffen used seduction and control to entrap Armstrong.  Wait – we’re talking about David Geffen, right?  Not that the 82-year-old can’t be appealing – but seductive?  Armstrong previously alleged that Geffen entrapped him in “a cycle of dependency, submission, and humiliation”.  While I have no reason to question the veracity of these allegations, I do think they say more about Armstrong than Geffen.  You know what else speaks volumes?  That the tabloids no longer refer to Armstrong as a hooker and a porn star.  They now call him a “former go-go boy”.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Recently, Cybill Shepherd told People magazine that she had mended fences with both Bruce Willis and Christine Baranski.  In a much-touted “exclusive interview”, Cybill said, “It was time.”  One could argue it was well past time, but that’s another story.  When it came to Baranski, Shepherd added how the two were able to get to a better place in a most cryptic and grammatically curious statement: “Just a talk and be real open-hearted with each other.”  Well, that clears up…nothing, actually.

Don’t read anything into the fact that Zac Efron hasn’t shown up to see brother Dylan on Dancing with the Stars.  It’s just he has better things to do.  Really!  When asked where Zac was, Dylan said, “Hey, he’s doing his thing.”  He didn’t even show up when Dylan danced to “Rewrite the Stars”, which Zac sang with Zendaya.  “Zac’s always taken care of me and he did things that were so selfless,” said Dylan.  Except for brave LA traffic, apparently.

“I can definitely say that when we were shooting
Lois & Clark, there was no Jesus…He’s very with the
cross now.  But he was, like, drunk and sleeping with a lot of
beautiful women and, you know, having a good time as the
star of a TV show.  There was no conservatism in him –
at least not that was displayed to me.”
– Teri Hatcher on Dean Cain joining ICE.  She adds, “I’m not sitting here
saying he’s a bad guy, but, yes, he is doing things that I think are bad.”

Could somebody please put Liza Minnelli under house arrest?  Where are those Luft kids when you need ‘em?  Where’s Lorna?  Where’s Joey?  Don’t get me wrong – I love Liza as much as any gay man (of a certain age).  But there comes a time when you’ve got to make the hard choices.  The last few years, she’s shown up about as often as Halley’s Comet, but these do nothing but tarnish a once-glorious career.  Let’s forget about the Oscars.  Do you remember when she was honored on RuPaul’s Drag Race?  They wheeled out a gigantic easy chair with Liza kinda slumped in it – ringing those bells.  She’s a little bit of a thing – she looks like Edith Ann Minnelli!  Perhaps because she doesn’t have the musculature to sit up, she just slouched lower and lower into the chair.  At one point, her legs were higher than her head, and I thought she was going to slide onto the floor.  Liza Down!

I say all of this as a preamble to last week’s Dancers Against Cancer Gala of Stars here in Beverly Hills.  We all agree that Liza is the hoofer with a heart of gold.  So, naturally, they called upon her to present the Icon Award to Janet Jackson – because when I think of Janet, I obviously think of Liza.  A bunch of dancers were onstage doing Fosse-esque choreography.  Suddenly, two of them spin around this giant thing – that turns out to be…you guessed it, a giant easy chair!  And there she is – Liza Minnelli (more or less).  And all of the people around her are dancing, and she kinda did some “jazz hands”.  Then she made sort of a speech – except I’m not entirely sure she knew where she was or who she was honoring.  But she sure looked happy to be there and people were cheering.  And all I was thinking is, “How are they getting this chair home?  Does Michael Feinstein back up a truck and a couple of Teamsters drag the chair onto the back – with Liza still in it?”  God knows, I truly believe that Liza has earned the right to do whatever she wants.  And you can watch her “honoring” Janet Jackson on BillyMasters.com.

Should my opinion count for anything, Max Ehrich is one of the most breathtaking specimens of men to grace the world.  OK, sure, he was once romantically entangled with Demi Lovato.  Look, nobody’s perfect.  Max is hot – and he’s in trouble.  At the beginning of the month, lots of explicit content started popping up on his social media accounts.  Then he started asking for donations.  While some believed it was a soft launch for an OnlyFans account, it got…well, hard.  Then there were claims he was hacked.  Then videos that looked pretty real.  Then he claimed to be held at gunpoint.  Eventually, he posted a livestream attacking his mother while huffing “something”.  Police were called and he was taken into custody.  Proving there is no God, Max’s mugshot was nothing to write home about.  Well, since he attacked his mom, I suspect nobody at home wants to hear from him.  But someone did post his bail (which was only $1K).  He was then placed under an involuntary hold for psychiatric evaluation.  While we wish him well, that won’t stop us from sharing the VERY adult-only content on BillyMasters.com.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Patrick in Los Angeles: “I read that Anthony Boyle didn’t use a prosthetic for his nude scene in House of Guinness.  Which episode is it in?  Do you have the footage?”

In Episode Three at the 25-minute mark (for those of you playing along at home), the character of Arthur Guinness (played by Boyle) stands up from his bathtub to be dried off by his servant (played by Michael McElhatton, who remarkably doesn’t blink an eye…or have one poked out).  I can attest that Boyle’s penis is quite lengthy, quite thick, and judging from the “fullness”, I’d say quite fluffed.  It is so impressive, one would be inclined to think it was a prosthetic.  But Boyle put a stop to such speculation: “It’s not a prosthetic.  It’s my own body”.  Oh, yes, the body is also impressive.  Every inch of it can be found on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re bringing you Victorian era nudity, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  At least it’s not Queen Victoria nudity!  If you ever wonder if something’s real or is it Memorex, you can find out the truth over at www.BillyMasters.com – the site that might leave you dangling but won’t ever leave you hanging.  Should you require a bit more attention, reach out and touch me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before this computer bites the dust!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Perhaps the gay couple would enjoy a trip to Mexico.  If so, they might meet up with some familiar faces.  Last week, Luke Evans and his beau Fran Thomas were joined by Jonathan Bennett and Jaymes Vaughan.  The foursome took photos together quicker than you can say “wife swap”.  But, in fact, they were in Cabo San Lucas for a weekend promoting Luke and Fran’s menswear line, BDXY.  Jaymes even sported a BDXY hat.  I believe during his Chippendales days, he did a routine to “You Can Leave Your Hat On”.  And so he did.  Old habits…

What if the gay royal couple wants something a tad more rustic?  Maybe even merge countries (I suspect lots of merging will go on during this trip).  Then perhaps New England is just the place.  And in the autumn, it’s oh-so-picturesque…if you care about that kinda thing.  And if you need something or someone to keep you warm, I might direct you to Frog Meadow in Brattleboro, Vermont.  It was a favorite vacation spot for gay internet laddie Davey Wavey – so much so that he bought it!  While Wavey has never struck me as the outdoorsy type, he has time to learn.  He doesn’t officially take over until April of 2026.

Last week, the Boston Lyric Opera kicked off its 49^th season at the Colonial Theatre with Verdi’s Macbeth – a day after the composer’s birthday.  The performance, conducted by David Angus, was pristine…a bit too pristine for my taste.  I like my Macbeth rougher…and dirtier.  The only thing dirty in this production were the costumes – and in the court scenes, I would have liked them a bit more pristine.  What can I say?  I’m difficult to please.  On the whole, the production was serviceable, while some of the direction clashed with the projected titles.  As Mr. and Mrs. Macbeth, Norman Garrett and Alexandra LoBianco were vocally committed if somewhat lacking in personality and bite.  Still, one left feeling it was a noble effort – and Boston is lucky to have a company committed to attempting such challenging repertoire in a classy setting.  More details on the season can be found on BLO.org.

In a recent podcast, Glen Powell admitted that he was a frontrunner for a role in Glee.  “One of my best buddies in the world is this guy Chord Overstreet.  We both auditioned for Glee.  We both auditioned for the same role.  We were both in the waiting room at the same time…we were down to the wire on Sam Evans, and he got it.  But, like, he’s still one of my best friends.”  Oh, but it doesn’t end there.  “We moved in together as he went on this crazy Glee ride, which was, like, kind of wild.  It was, like, pretty crazy to be around, because it was the biggest show in the world.”  Not a bigger show than if you had a 24/7 webcam in that apartment!

After a lengthy delay, the sequel to the gay romcom Red, White and Royal Blue has been announced.  Or, rather, re-announced, because they already announced it last May, shortly after the first film aired on Amazon Prime (you can be forgiven if you thought it was on the Hallmark Channel).  Following the Hallmark formula, the sequel will be called Red, White & Royal Wedding – clearing the way for Red, White & Royal Baby, and the inevitable Red, White & Royal Divorce, and the eventual Red, White and Royal Reconciliation.  Predictably, Nicholas Galitzine and Taylor Zakhar Perez will return.  But Matthew Lopez has bowed out of directing the sequel, while he will allegedly stay on to co-write the script.  He’ll be replaced in the director’s chair by Jamie Babbit.

Oh, I forgot Red, White and Royal Honeymoon.  But should this be an option, we’re happy to suggest some destinations.  Right off the bat, I wouldn’t recommend a trip to Disneyland – especially after headlines that the Haunted Mansion has a new resident.  Last week, a woman actually died on the attraction – although, Disney went to great pains to clarify she did NOT die on the ride.  They issued a statement that “the guest was transported to a local hospital, where she was later pronounced deceased”.  Entertainment Weekly went so far as to point out the ride begins with visitors being locked inside a room, and challenged by a ghost to “find a way out”.  It’s kinda like Hotel California – you can check out any time you’d like, but you can never leave.

“No one beats their wife in front of you.”
– Writer Nancy Collins allegedly said this to Melissa Rivers, who was
gushing about how nice a famous male celebrity was.  While she doesn’t
name the guy in question, look at Missy, serving up some tea.

People are always talking about how computers and robots will take over the world; how AI will be the downfall of humanity.  But I’m not completely sure that automation can do everything humans can.  For instance, when we need a new organ, we can harvest it from healthier beings…or victims of tragic accidents.  Computers still need us to buy replacement components from Amazon Prime or Best Buy and install them.  Without us, that PC in my bedroom which is still running Windows XP would be a big hunk of dust – which it probably is!  But for the past 30 years, I’ve written each and every one of these columns on that high-tech machine.  So, who’s laughing now?

The one who’s laughing right now is me.  They say when you slip on a banana peel, it’s a tragedy.  When you see someone else slip on a banana peel, it’s a riot.  Then you have some woman asking Mitch McConnell how he feels about the ICE raids while he’s walking.  On his best day, you can’t expect Mitch to walk and talk simultaneously.  We witnessed his hard drive crash right in front of us.  And, like a non-human being, he got up and kinda shuffled along…as if nothing happened.  Without some new parts from Amazon Prime, it’s only a matter of time.

Meanwhile across the pond, Prince Andrew was stripped of all royal titles.  Well, that’s not completely true.  He allegedly gave them up voluntarily – due to the imminent release of the Epstein files.  When Diana lost her titles, they were in fact stripped.  So you can bet your bottom ruble the same thing happened to Andy.  Unless you actually believe this story – in which case, I’ve got some cheap land to sell you in Yalta!

Our Ask Billy question comes from Jonathan in Las Vegas: “I heard that Robert Irwin is going to join The Chippendales for their Las Vegas show at the Hard Rock.  Any truth to the rumor?”

It is true that The Chippendales reached out to Robert.  And they aren’t the only ones.  The Thunder Down Under boys also would like him to join them – and being from Australia, they could have the edge.  Alas, Robert has turned down both offers.  “Not for me.  Not right now.  I’ll take the shirt off every now and again, I’m going to draw the line there…for now.”  So if you want to see Robert shirtless, you’ll have to check out BillyMasters.com.

When two residencies are vying for an Irwin, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  And at least they didn’t reach out to Bindi!  For other heavenly bodies, head on over to www.BillyMasters.com – the site that will leave you breathless.  If you have a question you’d like me to grab ahold of, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I announce my farewell (which ain’t happening anytime soon).   Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

You know what I’m against?  Performers who do more than two shows at the same venue and calling it a residency.  A residency is when you move to a city, get an apartment, and live there by day and work by night.  Kinda like what Sam Smith had planned once the refurbished Castro Theatre opens in February 2026.  He announced two weeks of four shows each for his To Be Free stint in SF.  I’d call that residency-adjacent.  Those sold out pretty quickly, so he added another four.  Poof – sold out.  As of this writing, he’s up to 16 shows over four weeks.  That is definitely a residency.  He’s doing a similar schedule at Warsaw in Brooklyn over October, November and December.  To get the most up-to-date schedule, check out SamSmithWorld.com.

Since we’re talking New York, you know that Halloween is right around the corner.  And this will mark the 10^th time the delightful Jay Armstrong Johnson has presented his wildly popular I Put A Spell On You benefit to raise money for the Ali Forney Center.  Seeing Jay as Winifred Sanderson – well, you can’t put a price on that.  This year’s show will take place on October 20^th at Webster Hall in NYC.  You can get tickets and information at SpellOnYouNYC.com or JayArmstrongJohnson.org.

Last year marked the 25^th year Charles Busch and his merry band performed his play, Times Square Angel.  Since this is typically when tickets go on sale (and sell out in minutes), he made the following announcement.  “Last year marked the twenty-fifth anniversary of performing the play as a one night staged reading.  To Carl Andress and I, that seemed like an achievement to be proud of and time to call it a wrap.  At the risk of sounding like Anton Walbrook at the end of the movie, The Red Shoes, we won’t be performing Times Square Angel anymore.  Nothing goes on forever and time and the vagaries of age and the prosaic details and exhaustion of doing theater on a shoestring have gone into this decision.  What a joyous ride it’s been…To those who have joined us all these years, thank you so much for your loyalty and enthusiasm.  What a joy it’s been to share this play and experience with you.  And to our cast and band, designers and crew, my love, gratitude and admiration.  A special thank you to Theater for the New City and the indominable Crystal Fields who for six decades has given so many theater artists a home.  Thank you all for twenty-five years of Times Square Angel.  I exclaim this from my heart, truly, and sincerely, bless you, darlings!”  In the words of Belinda Carlisle, never say never…

By the by, the print edition of Busch’s play The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife and Other Plays turned up at the recent Julien’s Auction of Joan Rivers’ belongings.  The volume was autographed by Charles to Auntie Joan in 2007, and he wrote the following: “To Joan – Your early enthusiasm over these plays meant more than I can say.  Thank you.”  It was bundled with a few other entertainment books and sold for $320.  I’m sure Missy thanks you.

Of course, our gay patron saint is Dolly Parton, who has had some health issues since the passing of her husband, Carl Dean.  Not only has she cancelled her Las Vegas residency this December, she also bowed out of the Academy Governors Awards, where she was to have received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award.  Then her sister Freida (no, not the “Band of Gold” Freda) made a curious statement: “Last night, I was up all night praying for my sister, Dolly.  Many of you know she hasn’t been feeling her best lately.  I truly believe in the power of prayer, and I have been led to ask all of the world that loves her to be prayer warriors and pray with me.”  That set off a firestorm of speculation.  So, Freida issued another statement as damage control.  “I didn’t mean to scare anyone or make it sound so serious.  She’s been a little under the weather and I simply asked for prayers because I believe so strongly in the power of prayer.”  Perhaps, but I don’t think she’d ask people worldwide to pray if Dolly just had the sniffles, or a hangnail!  “It was nothing more than a little sister asking for prayers for her big sister.” 

Since that didn’t help, Dolly appeared – as if an apparition at Lourdes, except this was Instagram!  She wanted to address the health rumors with an “impromptu video message” (and if you buy that, stop reading immediately).  Looking quite sprightly, she admitted to having “some problems” and that she had “let a lot of things go that I should have taken care of”.  She says she’s having “a few treatments” at Vanderbilt Medical Center outside of Nashville.  She welcomed the prayers, but added, “I’m not ready to die yet – I don’t think God is through with me, and I’m not done working.”  If anyone has earned the right to take a breather, it’s Dolly.  Get well soon.  But if you really want to rest, take a tip from Billy (as so many others have) – sleep on your back!

When is a farewell not a farewell?  First, I was dealing with the fact that Cyndi Lauper did her farewell at the Hollywood Bowl with Cher, and I missed it.  Then I was heartened that CBS/Paramount captured the event.  So color me confused when I read that she’s gonna play Vegas!  Here’s the headline verbatim: “Cyndi Lauper Announces Las Vegas Residency, Following TV Special and Wrap-Up of Farewell Tour.”  Seems to me like she’s following in Cher’s footsteps!  Cyndi did a very Belinda Carlisle thing (we’ll get to her in a minute) and clarified that the farewell was to touring – not to doing a few concerts here and there.  You say potato, I say ka-ching!

In the past, Belinda Carlisle has announced the end of The Go-Go’s career no fewer than five times.  Now she comes out and says, “It’s gotten ridiculous – we announce a farewell and then something comes up so we’re back.  I’m never saying never again.”  While this is not a Go-Go’s story, it’s been announced that the mega-hot British boy band Take That will be doing a stadium tour.  And who is their opening act?  Belinda Carlisle, that’s who!

“So many closeted men in the Republican party.  The
people who want government out of their lives are obsessed
with controlling other people’s love, bedrooms while lying
about their own.  We see you, we see them, and
guess what?  If you’re a hypocrite, I’m gonna out you.”
– Don Lemon names names, including such alleged self-loathing guys as
Mike Johnson, Benny Johnson, Lindsey Graham, and Tim Scott. 
As I always say, never piss off a gay man with a mike.

In case anybody missed it, Taylor Swift revealed that Travis Kelce has “hot gay friends”.  Of course, she didn’t just say it – if she had, it would have been our opening quote.  Here’s what happened.  Taylor was on Hits Radio in the UK.  She was talking about her song “Wi$h Li$t” (how Ke$ha of her) which has a lyric “Please, God, bring me a best friend who I think is hot.”  She flashed her engagement ring to indicate she had such a friend.  Then co-host James Barr asked, “Does he have any hot gay friends?”  Taylor said “Yeah…I also have a lot of those.”

Someone else with a whole lotta gay friends is the much-beleaguered Kristin Chenoweth.  Let’s skip past the whole ugly-cry-over-Kirk thing – been there, done that, posted the video.  Anyway, Kristin has a whole lot going on.  First up is that Broadway musical The Queen of Versailles, written for her by Stephen Schwartz…and his hair (speaking of Kirk).  Should the musical not work out (nothing is a sure thing on Broadway), Chen has a contingency plan.  She is in the midst of developing yet another sitcom – this time for NBC.  Stumble finds Krissy leading a church choir as part of her community service.  The writer is Alissa Neubauer, who helmed Call Me Kat – another show that never found an audience.  A white version of Sister Act?  How on point.

Not Broadway’s Mark MacKillop is a good friend of this column and of Billy Masters LIVE.  As you know, he’s a tireless fundraiser for our community, and has been the highest fundraiser at Broadway Bares for eight consecutive years.  He’s the hoofer with a heart of gold.  On October 13^th, he’s marking his birthday by putting on a show at the Marjorie S. Deane Little Theatre in NYC.  Proceeds will go to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.  If seeing Mark in his birthday suit (and me in the audience) appeals to you, grab some tickets at OvationTix.com.

In a very brief Ask Billy question, Lenny in Pittsburgh, PA writes, “Who gave Lukas Gage an STD?  He recently told a reporter he got it from an ex.  Was it his ex-husband?”

First, let’s me correct you – he didn’t catch an STD.  He caught TWO STDs from a former partner.  This either means that he’s terribly unlucky, or there is some fault in his screening process for potential paramours.  He didn’t reveal who gave him the STDs or, for that matter, what they were.  But he says it’s not his fault.  “It wasn’t that I was in an opposition to having a non-monogamous relationship, it was just not talked about.”  Whose fault would that be?  Does anyone have a mirror?  If you don’t discuss it, don’t assume it.  I’m sure more delightful anecdotes like this will pop up in the 30-year-old’s memoir, I Wrote This For Attention, which comes out on October 14^th.

When Lukas at least came up with the perfect title for his autobiography, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  Talk about truth in advertising.  Sure, Gage will say it’s all tongue in cheek – but I think we can all agree he should be a bit more discriminatory with which cheeks he puts his tongue!  For more visual aids, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site site ain’t shy.  If you want me to look into something, dash a note off to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I invite anyone over for some “lemonade”.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Some things are universal.  Like comedy – everyone likes to laugh (well, maybe not El Presidente).  Last week, there was a huge comedy festival in Saudi Arabia where they paid comics “a shitload of money” (at least, that’s what it said in my contract).  Some comedians went, others stayed home out of protest.  On Real Time, Louis C.K. told Bill Maher, “There is a woman who is a lesbian and Jewish who did a show there and she got a standing ovation.”  He was referring to our own Jessica Kirson, who I don’t know personally but I’m a huge fan.  She did indeed perform there and, as LCK said, was a big hit.  But she also took a hit from her fans here in the US, who felt as a woman, as a lesbian, and as a Jew, she shouldn’t have gone.  People certainly have the right to criticize, but they should know that Jessica did her research.  Here’s what she said after the event: “As an artist, my mission has always been to help people feel less alone.  As an openly gay person, when I was asked to perform in Riyadh, I was surprised.  I requested a guarantee that I could be openly out as a lesbian on stage and perform gay material.  I hoped that this could help LGBTQ+ people in Saudi Arabia feel seen and valued.  I am grateful that I was able to do precisely that – to my knowledge, I am the first openly gay comic to talk about it on stage in Saudi Arabia.  I received messages from attendees sharing how much it meant to them to participate in a gay-affirming event.”

So, win/win, right?  Wrong.  Fans were outraged that she performed at an event supported by the Saudi government.  “To my fans: I see you.  I hear you.  Your voice matters to me.  I love you all, and I am genuinely sorry for making a poor decision that had repercussions I didn’t fully consider.  I will take full responsibility for my actions and dedicate myself to making amends, so that my words and choices reflect the respect and care you deserve.”  What about the gay people in Saudi Arabia who finally got to see themselves represented onstage?  What about giving a voice to a different side of a repressed society?  Then again, how repressed can they be if they booked Jessica in the first place?  Should Pete Buttigieg not appear on FOX News because they are conservative?  Or aren’t those the very people he should reach out to?  While I recognize this is a tricky situation, I agree with Jessica’s first instinct to go, and feel she indeed made a big impact.  However, she’s now vowed to donate whatever she was paid to “to a human rights organization.  I made this decision because I want that money to go to an organization that can help combat these severe issues.”  While I think she can do whatever she wants, she certainly shouldn’t feel obligated to do anything other than keep the money she made for performing.  Just my two cents – which I’m giving out for free.

After months of waiting, the fate of Mid-Century Modern is known.  The Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, and Linda Lavin-led gay Golden Girls has been officially cancelled.  Could things have turned out differently if Lavin lived?  Or if Billy Lourde wasn’t cast as Matt’s daughter?  Or if Richard Kind and Zane Phillips appeared more often?  Or if it had been on a real network?  Who can say.  Well, I can say it wouldn’t have hurt.  I’m told everyone had a ball making it, and isn’t that really the best one can hope for when a show is on Hulu?

Every so often, people like to count Bette Midler out.  “She’s at a difficult age to cast,” I often hear.  And then, poof, the perfect role.  She’s just signed on to play a plumb part of a rich matriarch who cuts off her kids’ cash in the upcoming Warner Bros. film Cut Off.  The kids in question will be played by Kristen Wiig and Jonah Hill (who co-wrote and will direct the flick). Did I mention Bette’s husband will be played by Nathan Lane?  Yes, an Isn’t She Great reunion.  Hopefully they fare better this time around.  Shooting just started last week.

You know the type of actors who have even less chance of getting cast than Bette Midler?  Dead actors, that’s who!  But Terence Stamp didn’t let a little thing like his demise stop him from appearing in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert 2.  For years, Hugo Weaving and Guy Pearce were ready to do a sequel, while Terry was the lone holdout.  Then director Stephan Elliott brought him a script that put a smile on his face.  He said, “OK, I didn’t see that one coming”.  Over the next few months, Elliott had the actor working day and night to finish his scenes.  Stamp repeatedly said, “You’re running out of time, kids.  You’re running out of time.”  But they finished the entire script.  While it’s not the first time an actor has worked in a vacuum (I mean, Sigourney’s entire oeuvre), Stamp insisted that he play Bernadette and not have a performance created by AI.  Elliott filmed all of the Bernadette scenes “in a nine-camera array of the entire script”.  The rest of the cast plans shoot in in early 2026.

“I’ve been playing gay characters since the ‘90s when
agents told you, ‘Don’t do that.’  Honestly, if I’d been offered more
straight roles that were exciting, I would have done them.”
– Tuc Watkins talks about his acting career.

Every week, people ask me about the Feds’ case against gay porn superstar Austin Wolf.  And I finally have an answer.  Way back in June of 2024, his home was raided by the FBI, and they allegedly seized hundreds of photos and videos of underage lads.  After numerous delays, he finally had his first (and, apparently, last) hearing in June where he took full responsibility for having sex with a 15-year-old.  Oh, it gets worse.  Last week, U.S. District Judge Engelmayer found him guilty of enticement of a minor to engage in illegal sexual activity and a pattern of prohibited sexual conduct.  He was sentenced to 19 years in prison.  Then it was revealed that he “targeted kids as young as seven”.  At one point, he made plans with another man to have sex with a “nine-year-old child that Male-2 claimed to be babysitting”.  He also made “plans to meet an individual who claimed to be the father of a seven-year-old child and who offered to make the child available.”  Sounds like the worst Chris Hansen episode ever!

In a somewhat related story, the NYPD is cracking down on sex in a Penn Station men’s room.  Reportedly, over 200 arrests have been made since June, while only a dozen happened in the first half of the year.  Why the increase?  It must be the heat!  Before you ask, I’ll tell you that facilities in question are near the entrance by Eighth Avenue and 31^st Street.  You’re welcome!  We hear the room continues to be a hotspot.  Must be the smell of urinal cakes.

Another hot man is the subject of our Ask Billy question this week.  Brad in Dallas writes, “What do you know about Carl Cashman?  He’s a City Councilor in Liverpool and is beyond hot – kinda like Aaron Schock.”

Well, talk about a name from the past – what ever happened to Mr. Schock?  I guess we’ll tackle that in a future column.  As to Mr. Cashman, I must confess I never heard of him.  But, I’m always happy to look into a hot man.  And, yes, the comparison to Schock is apt.  Cashman got into politics at 24 and is now 33 years old and the leader of the Liberal Democrats for the Liverpool City Council.  Some scurrilous rag referred to him as “Britain’s sexiest politician”.  He possesses quite an enviable physique, and has not an inch of shyness in showing most of it off.  He’s also one of those people who enjoys working out shirtless at public beaches – something I enjoy…as a spectator.  Regarding his sexual preferences, he’s decidedly heterosexual – although I’m not sure who decides such things.  He’s also a strong LGBT+ ally and supports all sorts of gay Pride and trans advocacy events.  He’s outspoken and seems to have straddled the line of being a serious politician and being cheeky, as the Brits would say.  Should you wish to check out some of his cheekiness, check out BillyMasters.com.

When we’re featuring a hot Brit straddling anything, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  At least I have someone to check out when I’m next in London.  Until then, you can keep up with the hottest content from around the world on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that ain’t stuck in a vault!  If you have a question for me, send it along to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I watch a very special episode of Charles in Charge where Scott Baio fingers Willie Ames – talk about your Must See TV!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Last week was a big one for Charmed star, Alyssa Milano – she had her implants removed.  She made the announcement online, ending with, “Today, I’m my authentic self.  Today, I’m free.”  Next thing you know, she’ll be running around without makeup and doing The Second to Last Showgirl!

Fun fact – I met Matt Dallas (star of Kyle XY) at Kathy Griffin’s house where he was working as a cater waiter (link on BillyMasters.com).  It’s been a long time since that holiday party in 2006, and Matt is feeling less XY and more XL.  On July 19^th, he hired Dermot Duffy, a very hot personal trainer, “not so much just to lose the extra weight, but to feel strong, clear headed, ok and maybe a little sexy.”  Two months later, he showed off the fruits of his labor…if not the loom.  Dermot said, “Now only 8 weeks in, Matt’s in unreal shape.  Stronger.  Leaner.  More consistent than he’s been in years.”  You check out the results on our website.

David Geffen is antsy to be a single man again, and he’s willing to pay his husband, former “model” David Armstrong (aka Donovan Michaels) up to $50,000 a month in spousal support.  But he wants support to only last for 12 months, AND should be retroactive to their breakup, which was back in February.  Note we’re talking about David Geffen, who is worth $9.1 BILLION!  Not that I think the spouse is entitled to even a fraction of that amount.  But $50K is pocket change to Geffen.  The billionaire claims that his estranged hubby is living rent-free in a $15K a month apartment, and is in possession of over $5 million in art and jewelry he received as gifts.  So?

On Broadway, another classic series attempted a reunion.  The cast of Dawson’s Creek was set to come together on the stage of the Richard Rodgers Theatre for a reading of the pilot.  This was slated to be a benefit for F Cancer, James Van Der Beek’s pet charity since his colorectal cancer diagnosis.  Then he made this announcement: “This is the evening I’d been looking forward to MOST since my angel Michelle Williams said she was putting it together way back in January.  So you can imagine how gutted I was when two stomach viruses conspired to knock me out of commission and keep me grounded at the worst possible moment.  Despite every effort…I won’t get to be there.  I won’t get to stand on that stage and thank every soul in the theater for showing up for me, and against cancer, when I needed it most.”  It wasn’t all bad news – Lin-Manuel Miranda filled in.  “But I DO have an understudy.  A ridiculously overqualified replacement who would have been #1 on my wishlist (had I ever dreamed he’d be available).  Someone my kids would definitely consider an upgrade over me.”  The Beek did show up via a pre-recorded video.  You can see that video, along with some clips from the event, on BillyMasters.com.

Elsewhere on the East Coast, the Boston Lyric Opera is kicking off it’s 2025-26 season with Verdi’s masterpiece, Macbeth.  There will be two performances – October 10^th and 12^th (I’ll be at the 12^th, should that sweeten the pot).  This is a great opportunity to see grand opera at its best.  Tickets and information can be found at BLO.org.  Tell ‘em Billy sent you!

This seems to be one of those columns knee-deep in nostalgia.  It was just announced that a reboot of Baywatch was greenlit by FOX for next season.  Some details still need to be worked out – including where the show will be situated.  While the original SoCal locale is the frontrunner, Australia is offering lots of perks.  Stay tuned.

In 1996, Baywatch breakout star Pamela Anderson made a splash in the film Barb Wire.  This is a favorite of mine, but somehow Pam missed it.  Earlier this year, her sons with Tommy Lee, Brandon and Dylan, asked her to watch it with them.  “So I did and I was like, ‘Oh my God.’  It was stuck in French with English subtitles.  I said, ‘That’s a good way to watch it.’  I could see it, but I couldn’t really hear me.”  It must have made an impact on her sons because they’ve launched a production company and are developing a series based on Barb Wire.  And, you know, if you can get grandmama to make a cameo and flash the puppies, all the better!

“Somebody once told me, ‘What you don’t understand
about royal families is that they think that
if they do it with a footman, it doesn’t count.”
– British journalist A. N. Wilson discussing the alleged bisexuality of Edward VIII,
otherwise known as Mr. Wallis Simpson.  Wallis, of course, is the subject
of a just-wrapped biopic starring Dame Joan Collins.

I don’t know if any of you have heard of the NBC Comedy Vault.  If you open your digital cable and go past all the music, Latin and sports channels, you will find this network that shows “classic NBC comedies” somewhere in the one thousands.  I’m expecting Seinfeld, Friends, Mad About You.  The only show they have is Will & Grace – and it’s on 24/7!  This includes the original series AND reboot.  Do you know how long it takes to get through all those episodes?  4.65 days.  Since I only saw the reboot episodes once, they were new to me.  And what I discovered was that many of them were really funny.  And some of them are unwatchable.  Towards the end, I watched an endless string of “very special episodes”.  Why can’t we just have a fun sitcom without a message from dead Rosario, Grace being fingered by her father’s former partner, or the revelation of Will’s coming-out letter?  Fear not – the NBC Comedy Vault is adding some other “classic” shows.  In coming months, we can enjoy the likes of Coach, Major Dad, and Charles in Charge!  No chance of a message in any of those.

By the by, didya know that John Barrowman was almost cast as Will Truman?  When he was brought to the network, the brass had one note – nobody would believe this guy was gay.  P.S.  He is gay!

There was no such trepidation when it came to Sean Hayes being cast as Jack.  The past few months, he’s been knocking ‘em dead in London’s Barbican Theatre as Oscar Levant in his hit play, Goodnight, Oscar.  Since the show closed last week, he’s sharing photos of famous folk visiting him backstage.  People like David Letterman, Eddie Redmayne, Antonio Banderas, Victor Garber, and even Sir Ian McKellen and Dame Judi Dench – forever quashing rumors that they are the same person.  But, wait, there was one photo that made me take pause.  So familiar, and yet I couldn’t place it.  Then it hit me – it was Elliot Page (formerly Ellen Page).  I looked at the caption and realized how wrong I was.  It was Ellen DeGeneres, with a dark pixie ‘do.  So wrong…and yet so right.

Meanwhile in Milan, Elliot Page made some news when he showed up on the red carpet at Milan Fashion Week with actress Julia Shiplett.  Reportedly, this is the first public “partner” for Page since his 2021 divorce from choreographer Emma Portner.  Both Elliot and Julia were wearing Gucci for the event.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Mark in Boston: “On The Weakest Link, Chord Overstreet revealed that back in 2010, he posed full frontal for the relaunched Playgirl.  He said it was the biggest order in the history of the magazine and he was paid $100K.  But his publicist decided against it and pulled all the copies off the rack.  Did you grab a copy and will you share the photos with your adoring public?”

It’s well documented that I’ll bend over backwards (or forwards) for my fans.  But in this particular case, I can’t comply because the photos don’t exist.  While Chord and Jane Lynch (who hosts The Weakest Link) obviously rehearsed this anecdote designed to give Chord something to titillate and provide relevance, it’s basically fiction.  As with most fiction, it is based on some fact.  It is true that Playgirl extended an offer to both Chord and Mark Salling to appear in the magazine back in 2010.  “We would be very willing to pay for them both – up to $100,000.  And it wouldn’t have to be fully X-rated, either.”  So, riddle me this – if Chord would have gotten $100K to not show all, why would he have done full frontal?  Obviously, he wouldn’t have.  The rag’s reps later said, “Chord’s people decided against it.”  Overstreet still asserts that the shoot occurred…and he kept the money.  “And then my publicist pulled it off the rack.”  If such a shoot happened, the results did not make it anywhere near a rack.  But if you’re interested in seeing his rack in some very sexy (non-nude) shots, check out BillyMasters.com.

When Overstreet is in the news, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  What a letdown – first Chord is pulled off the rack, and then Spike is pulled off the block.  But, hold the presses – Melissa Rivers is auctioning off some of Auntie Joan’s old wigs.  And that got me thinking – what if those wigs have some of Joan’s actual hair?  DNA!  We could build our very own Joan!  And she could appear with me on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is cutting-edge.  If you’d like to get in on this endeavor, send an e-mail to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before anyone tries to cancel this column.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

While The View did not tackle the Kimmel kerfuffle, they still made headlines with the return of Joy’s Comedy Corner – a segment which was abandoned some 15 years ago.  The inaugural guest was comedian Andy Huggins.  The 73-year-old Texan referred to the 82-year-old Behar as “young lady”.  The last person who was able to pull that off with a straight face was Methuselah who, I believe, accompanied Joy to her senior prom!

Meanwhile on CBS, the Emmy Awards attained the highest viewership in four years.  Coincidence or not, four years ago the Emmys were also on CBS.  This all may be a dubious thing to crow about, but this ain’t your parents’ production of Peter Pan…or perhaps it is.  Studies show that CBS is the most popular network with seniors.  Many of them are still looking for Angela Lansbury on Sunday nights after 60 Minutes.  And some of them find her!

One of the most beloved oldsters from television is Joan Rivers – who continues to make news 11 years after her death.  Suddenly, a cache of her bric-a-brac is hitting the auction block via Julien’s Auctions on October 9^th.  While I certainly don’t begrudge anyone from making a buck off a perished parent, one must question the optics of selling the remains of a beloved family pet.  Yes, an urn containing the ashes of Auntie Joan’s dead Yorkie Spike was among the items for sale.  While many people say you can’t put a price on things, the bidding was starting at $800.  Days after posting this particular “lot”, it was discreetly removed from the auction.  However, fear not – if you want a memento of Spike, his X-rays are still up for sale.  Be forewarned – when Christie’s sold Spike’s silver water bowl, it went for over $14K.  I guess you can put a price on this stuff!

Last week, I started my column with something I thought wasn’t necessary to say – violence is never the answer.  Since then, I cannot tell you how many people have expressed jubilation at the killing of Charlie Kirk – a person that most of my readers could not identify in a police lineup.  Personally, I knew the name, knew some of his beliefs, but didn’t give him more than a fleeting thought (if that).  The day we condone someone being killed who we disagree with is the day we put a target on our own backs.  Yes, there is some irony when one considers Kirk’s own words: “I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights.”  If he actually believed that, then perhaps somewhere he is happy.  But I don’t believe in any God-given rights that result in anyone being killed.

If you think Chuck’s quote above was a grammatical nightmare, take a gander at Kristin Chenoweth.  She’s been vilified by a number of gay fans over this statement regarding Kirk: “Didn’t always agree but appreciated some perspectives.”  Talk about nonsensical (the musical).  It’s ambiguous enough to mean virtually anything…or nothing.  But I believe everyone has the right to voice an opinion, and it doesn’t change my opinion on her one iota.

Rarely do I mention Constance Wu – and there’s a good reason for that.  The Crazy Rich Asian has joined the fray of people attacking poor Andrew Barth Feldman for accepting a job – like an actor nobody has ever heard of has options.  Wu feels that the role of a robot in South Korea should only be played by someone who is Korean.  Oh, sorry – correction – she actually doesn’t care if the person is Korean.  She apparently feels all Asians look alike – which gave a pass to that great Asian-American actor, Darren Criss.  He originated the lead role in Maybe Happy Ending on Broadway, won a Tony for his performances, and appears to be about as Asian as I do while eating Panda Express!  If Wu wants to take issue with something, perhaps start with the fact that Feldman’s leading lady is his girlfriend.  Maybe that’s why he nabbed the role during Criss’ hiatus (it should also be noted that Criss is partially Chinese and Filipino, with nary a drop of Korean DNA).  Of course, Criss may have gotten this role not because of his alleged Asian-ness, but more likely because he has some name recognition to help sell tickets.  Well, that gives him the edge over Miss Wu, who, it should be noted, is also not Korean.

“I’ve got to say, I’m friendly with the ladies on The View. 
But they didn’t say anything about this this week.  Nothing. 
You know, because it’s never been their thing to weigh in on the issues.”
– Bill Maher on ABC’s The View not commenting on Jimmy Kimmel
being “indefinitely suspended” by the same network.

Given what I’ve written thus far, my fondness for the First Amendment is pretty well documented.  This right should protect all people – just like I have the right to ignore them.  Alas, that did not extend to Jimmy Kimmel, who was “indefinitely suspended” by ABC/Disney, which is known to protect rights of most critters – from singing crickets to pesky rodents (but don’t get me started on rabbits and bears in the Old South!).   The issue came to a head when the Chairman of the FCC, Brendan Carr, threatened ABC.  “Over the years, the FCC has developed a body of case law on that and has suggested that most of these late night shows, other than SNL, are bona fide news programs”.  Of course, anyone getting their news from Michael Che and Colin Jost has bigger problems than can be dealt with within the confines of this column.

Predictably, all hell broke loose throughout the broadcast landscape – with the sole exception of The View.  On ABC’s flagship daytime chat show, the subject never came up.  There was a good reason for that.  The View holds a unique place in the television landscape since it straddles both the entertainment and the news divisions – much like David Muir straddles…well, let’s not even go there.  Make no mistaken, Carr has the ladies in his sights.  “Potentially I would assume you can make the argument that The View is a bona fide news show, but I’m not so sure about that, and I think it’s worthwhile to have the FCC look into whether The View and some of the programs that you have still qualify as bona fide news programs.”  While the show is produced by ABC News, all of the anchors have contracts with the entertainment division of the network (the sole exception was the late Barbara Walters, who always worked for ABC News).

Then there were the Creative Arts Emmys, where Queer Eye won its seventh award for Outstanding Structured Reality Program.  What makes it more impressive is that the show has only been on for nine seasons.  The one time it lost was last year, when Shark Tank snagged the award – and, let’s face it…Antoni is no Barbara Corcoran!  Those of you who got more than 200 in your math SATs are probably thinking, “But Billy – it’s been on for nine seasons.  You say it won seven Emmys and lost only once.  How is that possible?”  Well, seasons two and three both ran in 2018 (winter and summer) – so that year’s win was for two seasons.  The more you know…

As to the primetime Emmys, they just wrapped up moments before this was published.  So, in lieu of an Ask Billy question, let us mention a few highlights.  First, it must have been pretty steamy in that theatre – every forehead was glistening – unless there’s some topical Botox I’m unaware of!  It’s always a bad sign when the least recognizable person in the room is the host.  And, sure, I expected Michael Urie to get into The Golden Girls tribute.  But Colin Farrell?  Who knew?  Polly Holliday was snubbed from the In Memoriam segment, even though Linda Lavin was given a place of prominence.  I’m sure by the time you read this, we’ll find out who those kids were walking the winners off stage.  I’m assuming they have something to do with the Boy and Girl Scouts – either that or someone was casting a Benetton commercial (assuming Benetton still exists).

When I’m looking to score a box of Thin Mints, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  What more could you ask for?  Misbehaving moguls, weight loss, plastic surgery, and breaking news.  Why, it’s like 60 Minutes – without that pesky stopwatch!  While I enjoy my cookies, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is a favorite of many Emmy presenters (we’re very discreet).  If you want to discuss anything with me, send an e-mail to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Tyler Perry reveals he’s microdosing.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

I’m sure none of you expect me to talk about Taylor and Kelce.  You’re far more interested in one of her backup dancers.  Jan Ravnik previously appeared in Mariah Carey’s 2020 Christmas special, danced behind Paula Abdul during her Vegas residency, and even did “something” with Bruno Mars.  He was also named Best Dancer of Slovenia…twice!  Obviously Melania wasn’t in the running!  This season he’ll be heating things up on Dancing with the Stars.  Jan has bypassed the “troupe” and has joined the show as a pro paired with that Mormon chick.

Meanwhile on Broadway, Oh, Mary! has found a new star once Jinkx Monsoon departs the production.  Starting on October 14^th, Jane Krakowski will play the Widow Lincoln.  Now stop that – I can feel many of you out there rolling your eyes.  Who knows?  She might be good.  After all, she made her Broadway debut way back in 1987 as a member of n Starlight Express.  Admittedly, that isn’t helping the argument – unless Mary Todd suddenly decides to appear on roller skates!  She’s scheduled to be in the show until December 7^th.

The fall has been littered with a handful of award shows.  The MTV Video Music Awards found Ricky Martin with a handful of junk…his own!  Getting ready for the show, the waistband of his trousers had split – an occupational hazard quite common for those of us who don’t allow for much breathing room.  Moments before going onstage, he was photographed on a sofa in his dressing room darning up those darn slacks.  Happily (or not), he managed to stitch in time for his number.  As I always say, waist not, want not.

Let’s move onto another mogul – Andy Cohen.  On his SiriusXM show, a listener commented on how good he looks and asked if he’s been on Ozempic.  So he went public and admitted that he’s used one of those weight loss drugs to drop those pesky extra 25 pounds.  Here’s part of his response: “Given that for 20 years I have been asking people about their body regimens and that I’ve been pretty vocal about every time I go on a diet…I do think it would be completely hypocritical not to share that I did this summer lose a good chunk of weight by micro-dosing a GLP-1 all summer…I was really unhappy with my weight.  My doctor and I talked about this last year, had recommended a GLP-1 a few times – to not only address what I was feeling about my weight, but treat plaque in my arteries and high blood pressure…and I finally said yes.  And I have to say it really helped me with craving, which I was having a very hard time with, and really forcing myself to be more disciplined with my diet and with working out.”  Should you want to hear his full response, head on over to BillyMasters.com.

In a related story, Chelsea Handler has announced plans for some plastic surgery of her own.  While I doubt she’s a newbie to the scalpel, she just announced that she wants to have her ears done.  While fingering her lobes, she said, “You see my ears?  How they’re a little bit flappy?  They look like labia.  They look like they’ve been stretched out like a labia?”  I do hope she doesn’t end up with a gay plastic surgeon – he’ll have no idea what she’s talking about.  She added, “When I do my neck thing, I’m gonna get my ears trimmed.”  Finally, some body parts I recognize.

The Bold and the Beautiful is about to introduce their first gay couple.  I’m surprised this is a first for the show because back in 2015, B&B had a transgender character!  And that person MARRIED into the main family on the show!  Sure, the trans role was played by a non-trans actor – but that’s showbiz.  As to the current situation, the soon-to-air gay couple will be comprised of Christian Weissmann – who plays Remy, a troubled stalker of one woman and a quasi-accomplice of another who has committed at least two murders and is suddenly back from the dead.  Somehow he’s going from that to actor Harrison Cone, who will be playing an aspiring designer.  Stay tuned.

“It never got there…but everything else.”
– Charlie Sheen, when answering Bill Maher’s question about his role in gay sex –
“Which were you?”  Charlie clarified – “You mean when you’re changing the
fitted sheet and it says Top or Bottom?”

Violence is never the answer.  And I say that as someone with a big mouth (you’re welcome).  If someone was going to be a target, I’d be at the top of the list.  In 30 years, I’ve pissed off just as many as I’ve titillated.  I own that, and am happy to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune – as long as they aren’t real arrows (real slings are fine).  I have taken issue with people and then run into them days later.  But you know what’s never happened?  Nobody’s ever taken a swing at me.  The most violent act was when a gay celebrity couple threw a dinner roll at me.  I mean – carbs!  For the most part, people are civilized.  Could we keep it that way?

Which brings us to Tyler Perry.  I’ve not had any major interaction with him, so there is nothing personal in this story.  We’ve heard it all before.  Mogul meets hot cater waiter.  They exchange digits.  Cater waiter gets cast on the mogul’s show.  Mogul makes a pass.  Waiter declines.  Waiter is killed off the show.  Nothing to see here – move along.  Still, you may ask if I have a problem with any of that?  Not really.  If everyone’s getting what they want, great.  If someone isn’t and they want to end the “association”, that’s also fine with me.  Quid pro quo.

Since we’ve discussed the specifics of this story before, why are we going into it again?  Because said waiter, Derek Dixon, did an interview with ABC News last week.  It doesn’t sound like he’s backing down or even considering a settlement.  He feels that he was sexually harassed on a job and is going forward with his suit.  How do I feel about that?  Again, fine with me.  If a line was crossed and he legally prove that, great.  But is it worth $260 million?  That’s a whole lotta pigs in a blanket.  When asked how he came up with that amount, he said, “Part of that number is my lost job, my lost income, the loss of the show.  The other part of that is a deterrent for…you know, how do you stop a billionaire who won’t stop themselves from doing this.”  Thank you, Derek, but you lost me at the word “million”.  I call that a money grab.  You got a job.  You got paid for the job.  You also got some additional “perks”.  You said no, and got fired.  If you want to sue to get what you would have been paid for another couple of seasons, fine.  $260 thousand sounds more reasonable to me.  But millions?  I don’t think so.

Meanwhile, back in California, Marissa Jaret Winokur is returning to the world of Hairspray.  Last week, 5-Star Theatricals announced a three-week run of the beloved Broadway musical, which will be directed by Winokur.  And she’ll be in familiar company.  Her best friend, Ryan O’Connor, will be playing Edna, and Becky Lythgoe will take on the role of Velma.  As to Corny Collins, she’s enlisted the aid of Link from Hairspray LIVE! – our own Garrett Clayton!  “I knew he had to be my Corny Collins!  He was so fantastic as Link.  I always said Link would grow up to be Corny!  So this was the easiest casting of all times!  I started begging lol and he stopped me and said yes!!  I feel so grateful!  Can’t wait to get started!”  The show opens on October 10^th at the Bank of America Performing Arts Center in Thousand Oaks, California.  Grab your tix at 5StarTheatricals.com.

The Hairspray connection continues with news that another beloved movie is making the transition to the stage.  Romy and Michele: The Musical will open off-Broadway on October 28^th.  Taking on the role of Romy (played in the film by Mira Sorvino) will be Laura Bell Bundy, who created the role of Amber von Tussel in Hairspray on Broadway.  Fun fact – this week, Mira Sorvino is making her Broadway debut in Chicago as Roxie Hart.

Another former Roxie, Pamela Anderson, is considering appearing in another musical – but this time on film.  Queen of the Falls is described as a tale about two lovers on the run.  Obviously Pamela would be one of the leads, and her lover may very well be played by Guy Pearce.  Stay tuned.

Julie Chen recently revealed that she was not the first choice to host Big Brother.  Tell us something we don’t know?  Julie’s rarely the first choice for anything, including the role of Mrs. Moonves (that honor goes to Nancy Wiesenfeld, who Leslie married back in 1978).  Julie says that the network’s first choice for hosting the reality show was Meredith Vieira.  How one goes from Meredith to Chen is another of those unsolved mysteries.  What I couldn’t have predicted was that Julie initially turned down the gig.  Why?  Because she had aspirations to be a correspondent on 60 Minutes!  The brass assured her that hosting a reality show would have no bearing on her chances to join 60 Minutes.  Either way, she’d never get that gig.

Deep in my Ask Billy sack was a question from Jason in New York City with a reality TV connection: “Who is Freddie Stroma, the hot blond on Peacemaker?  I think you’ve written about him before.”

I have indeed, but it’s been a while.  I first discovered Freddie in 2015 when he starred in UnREAL, Lifetime’s spoof of The Bachelor.  That’s also where he met his future wife, but we don’t need to go into that.  Fun fact – Freddie’s legal name is Frederic Wilhelm C. J. Sjöström, which is of some sort of Scandinavian derivation and may very well be the name of the leading man in A Little Night Music.  Since I don’t watch Peacemaker, I did have to research this and was delighted to find the footage of Freddie clad only in his tighty whities while being doused with some sort of alcoholic beverage.  It must be a straight thing, but you can see it on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re featuring a straight thing on a very gay website, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  I am delighted to report that the intervening decade has not taken too much of a toll on Stroma’s stamina.  In fact, he’s still as energetic as ever, which fits in well on  www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’ll leave you breathless.  If you’ve got a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Tucker proves Pete’s gay.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

On September 21^st, the Broadway production of Cabaret will prematurely close due to the illness of Billy Porter, who is/was playing the Emcee, and doesn’t look like the picture of health on his best day.  “Due to a serious case of sepsis, Billy Porter must also withdraw from the production.  His doctors are confident that he will make a full recovery but have advised him to maintain a restful schedule.”  Talk about your mixed messages – “serious case of sepsis”, “will make a full recovery”, and a closing date two weeks away.  Something’s rotten in the state of Denmark.

The timing of Billy Porter’s illness is intriguing in light of this next story.  Porter and Boy George will appear in a big-screen retelling of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol – talk about strange bedfellows.  The star of Christmas Karma will be Kunal Nayyar as Sood (aka Scrooge) with Billy as the Ghost of Christmas Present and Boy as the Ghost of Christmas Future.  They will be joined by Eva Longoria as the Ghost of Christmas Past.  The film opens in cinemas on November 14^th, but I don’t think you need to rush.  Something tells me you’ll be able to watch it from the comfort of your own home in time for Christmas (if not Thanksgiving).

Greg Louganis has made a huge change in his life.  As I’m sure you know, he was adopted when he was an infant and raised by Greek-American parents.  Later in life, he discovered his biological parents were Swedish and Samoan – and trust me, that’s not a combo platter you come across every day.  Last week, our favorite Olympian added another thread to the tapestry that makes up his life – he became Panamanian!  Due to his precarious financial situation and other personal factors, he sold his beloved California home, as well as three Olympic medals to finance a move to South America.  “While many people may have built businesses and sold them for a profit, I had my medals, which I am grateful for.”  But, fear not – he’s not completely turning his back on the US of A.  He recently signed with Innovative Artists Entertainment for representation in all television and speaking engagements.

If he really wants to know specifics, he could just talk to Charlie Sheen.  Last week, Sheen revealed that he’s had man-man sex – and he didn’t necessarily dislike it.  “A lot of it was fun,” says Charlie.  Well, at least he’s being honest…to a point.  He claims that most of his gay sex happened while he was high on crack.  “That’s what started it.”  Tail as old as time.  Yes, that’s a Disney, ageist, and a drug joke – call me versatile.  Where did Sheen make these big revelations?  In People magazine, naturally.  And on Good Morning America to Michael Strahan (insert your own joke).  This was in order to help promote his new book, The Book of Sheen, and his Netflix documentary, aka Charlie Sheen.  Since both come out after this column hits the streets, I don’t have a lot of specifics.   But Charlie did reveal that some of his partners were a bit less than honorable.  “It did come with a tremendous amount of extortion” – which I think means he paid for it.  Well, we all pay for it…one way or another.

“I’m not ruling it out.  I’m not saying no,
but I’m also not saying yes.”
– Eric Trump’s response when asked if he would run for president in 2028. 
As if there’s gonna be an election in 2028.

We’re in a time when the inconceivable happens on a daily basis.  And yet, I am still shocked.  I inexplicably found myself watching CNN when I heard the news that the Department of Justice is considering banning transgender people from owning guns.  The excuse for this is the shooting in a Minneapolis church that was allegedly perpetrated by a trans woman.  This made me wonder – exactly how many crazed trans people are shooting people?  Being a stickler for stats, I can tell you – since 1966, the number of mass shootings by trans people is less than one percent.   Admittedly, that number goes up a smidge if you consider people who have been in Jodie Foster movies.  I looked further and found that the mass shootings committed by women are less than four percent.  Seems to me, the solution is to take guns away from men.  But I’m no expert…or casting director.

Days later, I read something even more implausible.  Tucker Carlson (who has a lifetime subscription to BillyMasters.com) accused Pete Buttigieg of secretly being straight!  Yes, he believes Mayor Pete is pretending to be gay to help his political career.  Isn’t that a kick?  Being gay can actually help you win an election – or at least Tucker believes so, and who would argue with him?  Other than Ann Coulter (see the previous item).  So, riddle me this – how would Tucker prove such a thing?  He’d like to sit down with Pete and ask him specific questions about his sex life.  How kinky!  “I’ve always wanted to interview him.  He’s never agreed to an interview, but I’m gonna ask him like some very specific questions about gay sex and see if he can even answer.  I doubt he even knows.”  Which begs the question – how much does Tucker know?  Oh, that nasty boy.