Condoms For Olympians

And now, some good news – penis sizes are going up.  Yes, according to a recent study, the penises are on the rise.  What has caused this phenomenon is uncertain – as is the veracity of this report.  There are so many holes to be filled, so to speak.  How were the penii measured?  Was it a self-reporting survey?  Because if so, I don’t buy any of it.  Were the penii measured by the pollsters?  Because if so, where do I apply for that job?  While the polling method is unknown, we do know that when the study was done in 2016, the size of an average penis was 5.16 inches when erect.  I don’t know if this is a salient point, but it should be noted that these were UK penii.  When the same research group did this recent survey, the average penis jumped to 6.1 inches.  What could account for that increase of almost 24 millimeters?  Maybe they just sent out hotter pollsters.

We’ve learned that the International Olympic Committee placed the largest order of condoms in Olympic history!  Over 110K condoms were ordered, which means 37 condoms per athlete – which over a two-week period sounds about right to me.  Spokesman Chung Geun-sik says he doesn’t expect the athletes to use them all.  “Many will likely be taken home as souvenirs.”  That said, Olympic officials predict that this will be the “most promiscuous group of athletes in Olympic history”.  Apparently they forget that athletes in the first Olympics in ancient Greece competed in the nude!

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