Barbara Walters Plans Funeral

Less reputable sources insist that Barbara Walters is planning her own funeral.  Not so.  My people tell me that Miss Walters is not coherent enough to plan what she’s having for dinner, let alone an affair as momentous as her funeral!  Sources close to the legend say that she planned her funeral eons ago.  Not only that, but prior to vacating her office at ABC, she also produced and edited the tribute to her which will air on the network after her demise.  If she didn’t film the opening, please, God, someone hire Cheri Oteri.

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