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6 May 2024

“I used to really want Henry Cavill. I think he’s so hot.
But I met him and he was so awkward.”
– Tiffany Haddish explains why she wouldn’t sleep with Cavill. That’s the beauty of
being a gay man – we don’t care about stuff like that!

Some people should stay away from technology. Like Barbra Streisand. She was at sitting home, eating some cake, probably with a judicious dollop of coffee ice cream on top. She’s scrolling through Instagram on some tablet or perhaps her Jitterbug. She comes upon a photo of Melissa McCarthy and Adam Shankman. Her first thought might have been, “I should fix him up with my son!” So she makes a public comment: “Give him my regards did you take Ozempic?” I am absolutely certain Babs truly thought, “I wanna give that big girl a compliment because she looks good.” Others think that maybe Streisand thought she was sending a private message. Both scenarios could be true. But many are outraged she’d make such a comment. To those people, I ask a simple question: did you ever watch Golden Girls? Women of a certain age often speak without a filter. McCarthy took the high road and released a video showing her reading a Streisand fan magazine. She puts it down and says, “The takeaway? Barbra Streisand knows I exist. She reached out to me, and she thought I looked good. I win the day!” Classy.

Then there’s Roger Bart. The talented thespian was recently got a Tony nomination for his role as Doc in the musical Back to the Future. Someone named Michelle Tweeted, “No offense to him, but how in the world did Roger Bart get a Tony nomination for Back to the Future?” Bart responded, “Hey Michelle. No offense to you. But that may be one of the single rudests texts I’ve ever read. GFY.” For those of you don’t know, GFY is a polite way of saying “go fuck yourself”. Not every response has to be classy. Sometimes catty works.

Some people speak without thinking. Take Darren Criss. At the Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo, he was asked how he felt about playing gay on Glee. “Fucking awesome. It was a narrative that I really cared deeply about. I have been so culturally queer my whole life. Not because I’m trying, you know, actually, I was gonna say, not because I’m trying to be cool. But I’m gonna erase that because I am trying to be cool. The things in my life that I have tried to emulate, learn from, and be inspired by are 100 percent queer as fuck. It was in the queer communities that I’ve found people that I idolize, that I want to learn something from. And I’d say that’s a gross generalization, that’s a lot of things and a lot of people. But I grew up in San Francisco in the ‘90s. I watched men die. There was an awareness of the gay experience that was not a foreign concept to me. So it was a narrative that I cared deeply about.” I’m not sure what he’s rambling on about, but I still don’t think he’s ever sucked a dick.

I don’t think Daniel Radcliffe has sucked a dick, either. But he doesn’t seem to be a dick. When asked to comment on JK Rowling’s somewhat anti-trans comments, he answered thoughtfully. “It makes me really sad, ultimately, because I do look at the person that I met, the times that we met, and the books that she wrote, and the world that she created, and all of that is to me so deeply empathic. I’d worked with The Trevor Project for 12 years and it would have seemed like, I don’t know, immense cowardice to me to not say something. I wanted to try and help people that have been negatively affected by the comments. And to say that if those are Jo’s views, then they are not the views of everybody associated with the Potter franchise.”

People were surprised to hear that Rob Marciano has been fired by ABC. The sexy weather stud was reportedly let go for “anger management issues”. He had been on suspension ever since one co-worker claimed he did something that made them feel very “uncomfortable”. Marciano has done many things that have made me feel a variety of things…and I never once complained. One thing is for certain – the person who complained was not Mrs. Muir!

You know what’s coming back to the small screen? Hollywood Squares. Yes, CBS is rebooting the classic game show. And, who is following in the footsteps of such legendary center squares as Paul Lynde, Joan Rivers and Whoopi Goldberg? That laugh riot Drew Barrymore. It should be noted that Drew will also be a producer.

Looks like we won’t have any new episodes of And Just Like That… to watch this summer. But the show will be back in early 2025. The delay was primarily due to Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick starring in Plaza Suite in London. As a result, filming of Season Three was delayed until a couple of weeks ago. As we previously reported, there will be some cast changes. It isn’t a surprise that Che (played by Sara Ramirez) will not be returning. Sure, the character has been unpopular with fans since…well, almost since Day One. However, Ramirez claims it was some of their posts supporting Palestine that sealed their fate. But fear not – one lesbian leaves, another joins. Rosie O’Donnell joins the cast playing the part of Mary. I’m guessing she’ll figure in Miranda’s storyline. After all, Che isn’t the only character leaving. Nya has also been written off the show. Poor Miranda – losing a lover and a mentor. But gaining a Mary.

A whole load of people in the UK are suing Grindr. They claim the hookup site has been sharing some sensitive information with people. “Such as?” I hear you asking me in an almost telepathic way. You know how people say it’s responsible to share things with potential partners like your HIV status and when you were last tested? Grindr seemingly does the responsible thing and has users answer such questions on their profile. But, according to this suit, that information is being shared with third parties. Who are these third parties? I’m not sure about that – I tend to avoid large groups of horny gay men…except during High Holy Days! Perfect timing, n’est çe pas?

UK’s Channel 4 will air a documentary called Spacey Unmasked just after this column comes out. When asked to comment on what possible revelations there could be, Kevin told openly gay journalist Dan Wootton, “I’ve got nothing left to hide.” To prove his point, Spacey allowed himself to be asked about each and every incident in the doc – and his recollections make for fascinating viewing. BTW, the first incident allegedly happened in 1976. Talk about your Bicentennial Minutes! We’ll link to the video on our website. As to the doc itself, stay tuned…

Since it was just Orthodox Easter, I was in Boston with the family. On the eve of Good Friday (which seems a curious name to give the day Jesus was crucified), Britney Spears took to Instagram to address rumors of a fight with her boyfriend. She said the news is fake, that she’s getting stronger every day, she’s on her period, she twisted her ankle the night before, paramedics showed up, she felt harassed, and, oh yes, she’s moving to Boston. God, I hope that last part was fake news, too!

I’m rarely accused of being coy, but our Ask Billy question from Howie in Dallas accuses me of holding out on you. “You wrote about all of those Olympic divers on OnlyFans, but never told us about all those nudes of Matthew Mitcham. How come?”

The truth? I had no idea. Really, I never heard of this until I got your note, Howie. But, since you pointed me in the right direction, OMG. Talk about explicit. I thought I might find some tame, artistic nudes. Maybe a flaccid penis flopping about. I didn’t expect to see him getting jerked off to completion, or having things shoved up his…well, you know. And if you wanna see, check out BillyMasters.com.

When I’m being coy, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column. We’re uncovering Mitcham, Channel 4 is unmasking Spacey. The only way to keep up with it all is to check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that never takes a vacation. If you have a question, send it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I go on Ozempic! To my fellow Albanians, Krishti u Ngjall. To the Greeks, Christos Anesti. And to everyone else, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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