Inside the Oscars

“Thank you.  I will drink until next morning.”  
Bong Joon-Ho, winner of Best Director for Parasite.

When people look back on the 2020 Oscars…well, God only knows what they’ll think.  Here’s my general thought – confusion.  Every time someone popped up around the theatre to introduce a segment, I was bewildered.  First off, I had no idea where to look.  It was like a celebrity version of Where’s Waldo – minus the celebrities.  Who were these people?  I suppose using lesser performers made sense.  You couldn’t have Diane Ladd hanging on for dear life from the rafters.  I will definitely remember some of the outstanding performances.  How fabulous was Cynthia Erivo wailing “Stand Up” from Harriet?  Even better, how fabulous was Cynthia keeping her gaze on the camera circling her to the commercial break?  As great as she was and as great as the song was, I have to give it up to Elton – especially after his kick-ass rendition of “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again”.  Admittedly, he had to look at music and lyrics (it’s not a song he’s performed often), but it was touching to see him and Bernie Taupin win their first Oscar.

Let me give a warning to any future award show singers – don’t go anywhere near Rita Wilson with a microphone.  She’s got sheet music in her purse and is ready to hit the stage.  Chris Rock and Steve Martin showed how valuable comedians are to an awards show.  But, it’s not as easy as you think.  The night before the Oscars, the two were at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and tried out their routine – including several jokes which didn’t make it to air.  I believe James Corden and Rebel Wilson are carrying the mantle of Bob Barker by reminding us to spay and neuter our pets.  I do have one question – do Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig have no gay friends?  Not even one?

Without a doubt, the winner of the Faye Dunaway Award for Award Presentation is Diane Keaton.  My God, the only thing she didn’t do was exclaim La La Land!  It’s sad when Keanu is the coherent one.  On the flip side, Martin Scorsese always looks like he’s having such a good time – even when he lost Best Director.  Lastly, after the first award of the night, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Scientologists had Tom Cruise on suicide watch.

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