Buttigieg’s Beard

As to the other mayor, Buttigieg held his own during the debate – and I know a whole lotta you would like to hold his own yourselves.  After auteur Jim Fall made faux photos of Pete sporting scruff, the Internet exploded.  Suddenly, gays everywhere lost their minds lusting after him.  Some pundits are now predicting that a bearded Buttigieg could top the polls – to say nothing of the voters.  Funny, but nobody gets all that excited when they see photos of Mike Pence and his beard.

Last week, Rush Limbaugh – who stands alongside other Medal of Freedom recipients like Rosa Parks and Harper Lee – made what some people would consider hate speech about Buttigieg.  On a subsequent radio show, he added, “Hell, the president even called me about this…he said, ‘Rush, I just got to tell you something.  Never apologize, don’t ever.’”  Pete, too, had some thoughts.  “I’m in a faithful, loving, committed marriage.  I’m proud of my marriage.  I’m proud of my husband.  I’m not going to be lectured on family values from the likes of Rush Limbaugh or anybody who supports Donald J. Trump as the moral as well as political leader of the United States.”


It’s been said that most black people voted for Barack Obama, and only about half of the women voted for Hillary Clinton.  That got me thinking – where does that leave Buttigieg with gay voters?  Believe it or not, there is a group out there called Queers Against Pete.  On their website, they state, “We cannot in good conscience allow Mayor Pete to become the nominee without demanding that he address the needs and concerns of the broader Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual communities.”  Oh, geez, now I’m supposed to care about the asexuals?  I’d say get your own group, but if they could, they probably wouldn’t be asexual!  To all of you out there, may I simply say this – calm the fuck down.  No candidate is gonna check every box for every voter.  As for the Queers Against Pete, they had the gall to protest at one of Pete’s campaign stops in San Francisco.  Oh, the humanity!  Buttigieg quickly had the disrupters removed, stating, “I respect your activism.  But this is a gathering of supporters of our campaign and I just got a question about my husband and I’m really excited to answer it.”

In case this sways your vote, Cher has thrown her support behind Joe Biden.  After the Nevada debate, the Dark Lady Tweeted the following: “This will most likely be unpopular, but last night I asked myself, ‘Who would I be, if I denied a man I know and respect for a shiny, new, tech savvy billionaire?’”  Replace “billionaire” with “musician”, and I think that’s the same speech she made when leaving Sonny Bono for Gregg Allman!  She continued, “Joe’s made mistakes, like all of us, but I believe he would be honest, smart, civil president who doesn’t have to learn on the job.”  Since Cher is only conscious a few hours a day, it’s no surprise that her guy is Sleepy Joe.


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