Billy’s Prison Pals

Whenever I get a break from being on the road, I catch up on messages people leave.  But one person who called didn’t leave a voice message – or couldn’t.  “An inmate at the California City Community Correctional Facility, California City, California.  This call and your telephone number will be monitored and recorded.  To accept this call, say or dial 5 now.”  Obviously I wasn’t available to say or dial anything.  Alas, I don’t have a clue as to who was calling.  The one thing I do know is that my fan base at the California City Community Correctional Facility is quite extensive.  So, boys, just be patient – I’ll be by for a group conjugal visit real soon!


The good folks at Atlantis recently hosted a Southern Caribbean cruise on the Harmony of the Seas.  Returning patrons found a curious new entry in the official handbook which would have made me raise my eyebrows…if I still had the ability to raise my eyebrows: “While we want everybody to have fun, there are limits and so we ask that you be respectful of all guests and our cruise partners.  Please do not post anything explicitly sexual on social media in a public forum or other online space.  Any guest who posts or publishes an explicit and publicly visible photo or video will be asked to leave the ship with no refund.”  No explicit sexual photos or videos from a gay cruise?  What is the world coming to!  I’m happy to take whatever you have to give at  Not only do I not have any gag orders, I am also devoid of any gag reflex!


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