Huge Hugh Divorce

Every once in a while, I get a hankering – and, if there’s one thing you know about me, my hankerings must be hankered.  I was driving by an illuminated Krispy Kreme sign on US1 in Fort Lauderdale and decided to treat myself to a hot, original glazed donut.  Just one – I do have some self-control.  The voice in the speaker asked if I’d like another for half-price.  No thank you, said I.  When I got to the window, a woman approached me at a glacial pace – in fact, she had glacial proportions, but that’s probably an occupational hazard.  I produced a $20 bill, and she backed away offended.  “Smaller?” she asked.  No – that’s all I had.  She then peered at it and complained that it had a tear (it did in fact have a half-inch tear).  She shook her head.  I asked to speak to a manager.  She slammed the window and walked away – with my donut!  I probably didn’t need it anyway, but still felt deeply offended.


I arrived home to find an e-mail from Art in Seattle waiting for me – and you know it’s serious if I’m addressing an Ask Billy question so early in a column.  “I’m sure you may have legal reasons for not publishing anything of a factual nature about Hugh Jackman, but it seems the gossip has existed for most of his career.  Now that he’s separating, will the real Hugh come out (so to speak)?  Or is there another party involved?”

In case you missed it, here is the statement issued by The Jackmans: “We have been blessed to have almost 3 decades together as husband and wife in a wonderful, loving marriage.  Our journey now is shifting and we have decided to separate to pursue our individual growth.  Our family has been and always will be our highest priority.  We undertake this next chapter with gratitude, love and kindness.  We greatly appreciate your understanding in respecting our privacy as our family navigates this transition in all of our lives.”  That’s a statement which says virtually nothing.  I haven’t heard such an abundance of nothing since that non-coming-out speech Jodie Foster made at the 2013 Golden Globes.  The Jackmans added, “This is the sole statement either of us will make.”  That goes on the assumption that they actually said anything.

Since they’re not saying anything, allow me to add my two cents (which would have come in handy at Krispy Kreme).  I’ve spent some time with Hugh and Deb, and I’ve not seen a couple more devoted to each other – if not in a hot, romantic way, then certainly as dear, loving friends.  She’s a “handsome” woman – more a Camilla than a Diana, if you catch my drift.  More likely to muck out the stalls than play polo.  And, obviously, gay rumors are de rigueur when you are as good-looking and genial as Jackman.  The couple always made light of the whispers, while firmly denying them.  “If he was gay, fine, he would say he’s gay,” said Deb a few years back.  She added that if Hugh were gay, “He’d be dating Brad Pitt or whatever…not that Brad’s gay.”  See, Deb, this is how rumors get started!  Why make this non-statement now?  There are two possibilities: 1) A story is about to break or B) There’s another person involved.  OK, Brad, the ball’s in your court.

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