I was criticized harshly over my coverage of Natalee Holloway’s disappearance.  I said it then, and I’ll say it now – girl on a class trip goes off in the middle of the night for a stroll on a deserted beach with a little Dutch boy.  Sounds to me like a recipe for disaster – or some very good Danish pastry!  Anyway, Joran van der Sloot has confessed to the murder, and recounted how it happened.  Not to get graphic, but Natalee showed some gumption with her final breath and kneed him in the crotch.  If you’re going out, I say go out swinging.  I know many of my readers have a hankering for Joran.  He will potentially be ready for parole in 2043.  But I don’t expect the ensuing 20 years will be kind to him.  Natalee’s mom, Beth Holloway, said it best.  “You look like hell, Joran.  I don’t see how you’re going to make it.”  He clearly doesn’t read this column.  Joran – moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

Just because we’re not talking about Jussie Smollett, doesn’t mean there’s nothing to say.  He’s been in and out of Chicago courtrooms trying to get an appeal and/or overturn his hoax hate crime verdict.  Jussie – give it up.  It won’t change anyone’s mind.  The people who believed you set it up will still believe that.  And those who support you will stay by your side.  Of course, they could have a meeting in a two-seater…and still have room to pick up a hitchhiker, but that’s another story.  Just to hedge his bets, Jussie checked himself into rehab while the jury deliberates.  It’s all about the optics, baby.