Tragedy struck Brooke Shields when she was at L’Artusi restaurant in NYC on a break from her show Previously Owned by Brooke Shields.  Hands?  Anybody?  She had been drinking lots of water, and her friends said she looked “weird” (with friends like that…).  The restaurant tried to track down her husband, and then the sommelier got in touch with Bradley Cooper.  Fun fact – Brooke and Brad starred in the 2008 film The Midnight Meat Train – a detail neither seems to acknowledge.  I’ll let Brooke tell you the rest: “I thought to myself, ‘This is what death must be like.’  You wake up and Bradley Cooper’s going, ‘I’m going to go to the hospital with you, Brooke,’ and he’s holding my hand.  And I’m looking at my hand, I’m looking at Bradley Cooper’s hand in my hand, and I’m like, ‘This is odd and surreal.’  I flooded my system, and I drowned myself.  And if you don’t have enough sodium in your blood or urine or your body, you can have a seizure.  I was drinking too much water because I felt dehydrated because I was singing more than I’ve ever sung in my life and doing a show and a podcast.  So [the doctors] were just like, ‘Eat potato chips every day.’”  Helpful hints from Brooke Shields!  

When we can start and end with stories about Andre Agassi’s exes, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  This Shields incident would have never happened to Streisand – ‘cause Babs loves chips!  Our column ran so long, we had to cut portions of that riveting Brooke Shields story.  More salty stuff can be found at www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’ll leave you thirsty for more.  If you’ve got a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Bradley brings Babs a bag of chips.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.