I recently went to a gender reveal party.  Being gay (and a guy), I really wasn’t sure what to expect.  But I was hoping the hot daddy was going to reveal his gender.  I was slightly confused when the bride said, “We all have to take a bite and see what color the frosting is.”  I’ll play your silly game, you crazy straight people.  Imagine my surprise when she brought out a tray of cupcakes!  Suddenly bored, I went into the other room to play with the children – because, contrary to popular belief, I love kids.  In short order, they were dancing and squealing with delight.  Suddenly one mother popped her head in and yelled, “Calm down, Queenie!”  And I don’t even know this woman!  Then I found out she was actually saying “Calm down, Quincy!”  I’m looking around for some Jack Klugman look-alike, only to find out that Quincy is a girl.  And you wonder why boys are wearing dresses to school and girls are becoming cutters?

Even with all our issues, we’re all lucky to be American.  This was driven home by the story of Gilbert Ignatius, who is a citizen of Indonesia and a flight attendant on Qatar Airways for 7 years.  He was celebrating his 32^nd birthday at the Mondrian Hotel in Doha (Qatar) this past spring with a friend when they were detained by security.  They were taken to the private office of the Criminal Investigation Department – which sounds like a show even I wouldn’t watch!  One of the officers ran a moist towelette across Ignatius’ face to prove that he had on some tinted “moisturizer” – they’re very scientific in Qatar!  The officers demanded the guys’ passports, which they refused.  So they were escorted to the local police station and asked if they were prostitutes or if they ever engaged in homosexual activities.  Why?  Because of the tinted “moisturizer” and Gil’s Hermes belt.  It didn’t help when police found a photo of Ignatius shirtless at Bangkok Pride!  Ignatius proclaimed, “I am not a prostitute,” and asked to speak to the Indonesian Embassy.  He was told, “You have no rights.  This is Qatar” – which the tourist bureau might consider using as a national slogan!  Eventually they were released – without their passports.  Qatar Airways said Gilbert was grounded and couldn’t leave the country for several days.  Over a week later, a representative from the airlines drove the men to the Saudi Arabian border and told them they had been deported.  And fired – naturally!