Lourd vs Fisher

“No offense, but you look like Billy Masters.” 
l don’t know which part of this quip from a stranger insulted me more – that he didn’t realize I am Billy Masters,
or he thought someone would take offense to being told they look like Billy Masters.

This was a strange year for someone who writes about the entertainment industry.  After all, most of it was shut down due to those pesky strikes.  And yet, we rallied on.  One of the sticking points in negotiations was the threat that AI would eliminate people’s jobs.  So we put it to the test.  I asked ChatGPT to generate the opening of a Billy Masters column.  This is what I got: “Ladies, gentlemen, and those of you who are still deciding what fabulous category you fall into.  I’m Billy Masters, and I’ve got a mouthful of sass and heart full of glitter.”  The fact that highly advanced computers took almost three decades of weekly columns (that’s over a thousand columns) and came up with such drivel proves that my position as the most beloved of gay columnist is as secure as ever.


Sitting here aloft my perch, I surveyed many stories.  But I don’t think anything grabbed my interest more than the battle between Billie Lourd and her entire family.  For those of you who don’t know (and, frankly, why should you), Billie is the only child of Carrie Fisher and Bryan Lourd – who is gay, but that’s another story.  Carrie’s brother, Todd Fisher, had applied for Carrie to get a long-overdue star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and was told there’s a three-year waiting period for a posthumous star.  Years go by, and one day Todd gets a call from a friend saying, “I’ll see you at Carrie’s ceremony on May the 4th” (as in “May the force be with you”).  This was news to Todd, so he called the people at the Walk of Fame.  They say the guest list is being handled by Disney.  He calls Disney and they tell him he’s not on the family’s guest list – run by Billie.  Turns out Carrie’s half-sisters Joely and Tricia Leigh Fisher were also not invited – which begs the question, is Billie talking to any members of her family?  She didn’t respond to any of their calls, so Todd went public with his frustration.  Then Billie issued a statement: “The truth is I did not invite them to this ceremony.  They know why.”  Billie is upset that Todd wrote a book about his sister and mother (Debbie Reynolds), and she’s upset that Joely talked about them in her memoir.  Todd considered just showing up at the ceremony, but was told that Billie would not come out if any of the Fishers were there.  As a writer, I love this story.  As someone who knew Carrie and Debbie, I think Billie needs to grow the fuck up.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

error: Copying content from BillyMasters.com is prohibited